start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1378501998 | 1378531859 | null | t5_2to41 | 95 | Spodyspaz: TIFU... With diarrhea... In a LOT of ways.
Sit down, kiddies, it's story time. I'm not using a throwaway... I'm going to accept my shame on this one. Background: I'm something like an electrician, and was working at an apartment complex at the time.
I'm working in this cable closet, which happens to be the... | 4 | 23.75 | |
1378503418 | 1378645925 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | thegrammarunicorn: TIFU by leaving the window closed when I had a hot bath.
I’ve been feeling crap for the past few days because of an ear infection, so my sleeping pattern’s been stupidly inconsistent due to having a high temperature. I’m on antibiotics so it’s slowly getting better though.
So I woke up feeling crap... | 4 | 20 | |
1378506212 | 1378618001 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,874 | 4giveMe4iHaveSinned: TIFU by watching porn before church.
This didn't happen today, but just this past Sunday. Before going to church, I decided to have a quick, innocent fap. Fast forward a few hours, and church is over. I'm still in church at this point, and decide to check my phone. Turned it on, and since the porn ... | 10 | 187.4 | |
1378515096 | 1379536818 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | TIFU_bad: TIFU by giving myself herpes
so I was fapping and had the smart Idea to use my own spit
so later I found sores on my dick and one in my mouth......ugh
ideas to help please
InsomnicGamer: You can't give yourself herpes unless you already had herpes!
TIFU_bad: since this is a throwaway I'll just say I'm still ... | 8 | 10.75 | |
1378509724 | 1378525882 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | anonpothead: TIFU my roommate.
It was around 3am, we were throwing a party at home and i went to my room to get some weed, thing is my room is upstairs second door on the hall.
Door was open and lights were on, just like i left it, but as i walk in i see my roommate with a girl on his bed almost ripping off each other... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1378516998 | 1378610125 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Camdor5: TIFU by stepping on cardboard.
My wife had thrown a box into the kitchen saying nothing. I went "Well shit, I can break this. No big deal." So *stomp* I smashed the damn thing under my foot. Two reasons I did this, to clarify:
1) I get to break something
2) We had a tiff moments earlier and (repeat reaso... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1378522433 | 1378618624 | null | t5_2to41 | 130 | Cyanide03: TIFU by answering a rhetorical question from my grandpa
So I went to see my grandparents with my mom at a resort-like retirement villa. It was a wonderful place with lots of beautiful scenery and activities for the seniors to do with visiting relatives.
We ordered our food at the restaurant there and starte... | 3 | 43.333333 | |
1378525949 | 1379653399 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | notalurker99: TIFU by Having Envy
TIFU while playing League of Legends when one of a friend (whom I happen to have a huge crush on)'s friends started saying that he liked her. I flipped my shit, caused a scene, and more than likely lost a good friend because of it. So far, she's blocked me on Skype and Facebook and unf... | 7 | 2.428571 | |
1378526542 | 1378600446 | null | t5_2to41 | 188 | Burnt_it_bad: TIFU by cooking my hotdog.
Ok, this just happened. Today is the first day I've had my new apartment all to myself, away from all my other flatmates. So like any rational person, I've been doing everything in the nude all day. I then proceeded to do what most lonely guy's do when they're by themselves...
... | 6 | 31.333333 | |
1378579536 | 1378654842 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | myshoesarecool: TIFU (a year ago) By going to play practice
About a year ago I was a part of the stage construction/ stage crew for my schools fall play. During the play the people in stage crew could stay there or go home. I was gonna go home, but then the director said I would need to fill in for some missing actors.... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1378606872 | 1378627221 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,955 | ktrcoyote: TIFU buying weed from a dispensary.
This is one of the few times I will ever say "this should be illegal" in context to Marijuana...
Last night I drove to a dispensary I've never been to. I bought the weed and was about to leave when the guy behind the counter tells me:
"Since this is your first time here,... | 12 | 162.916667 | |
1378609675 | 1378887927 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | knucklesmatt: TIFU by throwing up in my friend's mouth.
So my friends and I went to Venice Beach and we all got fairly high. I have a lowest tolerance of all my smoking buddies, so when we were finished, they were all good, but I was feeling quite dizzy. As we were leaving, I started feeling worse and worse in the car ... | 3 | 8 | |
1378624186 | 1378705241 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | barkingbaritone: TIFU by drinking POM.
My girlfriend told me that people usually drank it on cleanses and that it cleaned you out pretty well in no time... I mean, I mostly believed her but I took a big swig of it and by an hour later was Niagara falls out of my ass in the toilet. Good Lord, have mercy.
aspmaster: I h... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1378626332 | 1378709396 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | DreadPiratesRobert: TIFU my army career.
So, It wasn't today, but today is when I realized it.
Last year I joined the army national guard. I wanted to be an officer, but I couldn't afford school (my dad could have, but I didn't want to use his money for whatever reason) I got a 97 on the ASVAB (that's pretty damn hig... | 7 | 8.142857 | |
1378646854 | 1378728737 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | BeerInTheBabySeat: TIFU by cutting off my daughter's gerbil's penis when I was trying to chop up ham.
I told her it was the umbilical cord.
Stop_Being_A_Creep: ..How do you not notice a gerbil running onto a cutting board you're using?
BeerInTheBabySeat: There was something in my eye, and I was focusing mainly on the h... | 5 | 0 | |
1378634576 | 1378852904 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | davver: TIFU on my first day at work
So today was my first day at work. I was told to be there at 8:00am. Naturally, I didn't want to fuck up and be late, so I went to bed early and got some sleep so I can get up at 6:50am and get there earlier. You know, just in case something happens.
I wake up at 6:50 this morning... | 4 | 13 | |
1378662233 | 1378712989 | null | t5_2to41 | 119 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting it in her pooper
so me and my girlfriend were getting hot and heavy last night and things were going great, until i bent her over. we were going at it, both about to get off and i stuck it in her butt. let me rephrase that, i didn't stick it in her butt. i like battering rammed her butthole o... | 4 | 29.75 | |
1378665110 | 1378701543 | null | t5_2to41 | 138 | ScroogeMcDuckII: TIFU by making a terrorist threat
okay, first of all this an old story and I just thought this would be the perfect place to tell it. This happened in high school, as everything does.
So I used to take the school bus home from school, and the bus ride was the best part of the day, because me and my fr... | 8 | 17.25 | |
1378674395 | 1378678935 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | bigwag91: TIFU: talking to a girl
Little bit of background: Winter 2013 college semester i started to fall for this girl that i meet through a mutual friend. fast forward to a week after school gets out, she goes home for the summer and i start working third shift, gotta make the money, so she breaks up with me. a week... | 3 | 1 | |
1378675732 | 1378740739 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | sukit_tribeck: TIFU Tried to gas the fleas, almost gassed the cat.
This just happened. So i have an indoor outdoor cat that's my best friend. Normally he spends all day outside, so when I went to flea bomb I forgot to check his favorite cupboard. SO I hold my breath, run through the place, reach my hand in and get a bi... | 8 | 10.375 | |
1378683486 | 1378688251 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Hammeredmantis: TIFU by letting my roommates mom see me stoned.
I feel horrible right now, she is probably getting a boatload of shit thrown her way for living with a stoner and gods knows what they are saying about me. Normally I just stay in my mancave when I do this but I was feeling sociable and thought I had my po... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1378685919 | 1378782251 | null | t5_2to41 | 627 | ncergnul: TIFU by cleaning my Macbook keyboard
So today I looked online and everyone made it seem really simple to pop off the keys on the Macbook Pro, that I decided to do that myself to clean under them. I pop off 13 keys before I realize that they are not going back on all the way and aren't attaching to the right s... | 11 | 57 | |
1378689514 | 1378749514 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | [deleted]: TIFU: by standing too close to a bull.
So today was the last day of the county fair and me and a few friends decided to give it a go. After walking around for awhile checking out what there is to do we walk through the barn and see the animals. We stopped in front of the bullpen. The head of the bull was ove... | 3 | 19.666667 | |
1378695251 | 1378859919 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by tickling my girlfriend.
I got bored as my gf was on her computer and decided it was time for a tickle attack. turns out not stopping when she told me to brought back some traumatic memories for her, and she dumped me. The tickling only lasted about 5 minutes.
depricatedzero: well, shit on her for no... | 6 | 6.166667 | |
1378695274 | 1378905725 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,287 | SnowWhiteGoth: TIFU and looked racist by farting
So this actually happened two years ago, but whatevs. I still fucked up.
I was at the gas station late one night, about to buy $20 in gas and a Snickers. I got talking to the guy at the register, because work was slow that night, and he was cuuuuuuute.
He failed to get... | 10 | 228.7 | |
1378700877 | 1378777908 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | bradradio: TIFU by buying coffee for a girl that ended up costing me $3000
This summer I was trying to ask out this girl who went to my university. We had a few mutual friends, but had never really talked to each other. She was playing really hard to get because she had just ended a year long relationship and I met her... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1378720534 | 1379555812 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | the6thReplicant: TIFU by pouring drain cleaner in my blocked kitchen sink that ending up exploding the pipes under it and pouring burning acid over my slate floor - that is now bubbling away.
It's a rented apartment and the residue of acid has turned into a powder that is now eating at my wooden floors (from walking ov... | 8 | 2.5 | |
1378710237 | 1378780220 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | mybustersword: TIFU by trying something I read on Reddit and ruining an orgasm from a good handy that I drove 500 miles for.
Well Reddit, background story- I don't remember the post or what subreddit it was in, but I recall that a male posted an interesting way to masturbate. By clenching your butt muscles like you are... | 4 | 28 | |
1378706313 | 1379376481 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | blueche: TIFU by calling my self-conscious friend fat.
So I have a friend, let's call her Sara. Sara is not fat, she is perfectly average-sized, but she has gained some weight (about 20 lbs.) since I met her. I know that she is self-conscious about that, and I have explicitly told her that she looks good and shouldn't ... | 5 | 2 | |
1378751219 | 1378828522 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,776 | bekt: TIFU and ripped a girl's shirt off
This happened back in high school, but I still fucked up.
We took a field trip to some play. Got to the theater, I sit with this girl I've been talking to for a while. I'm cracking jokes, shits going great. She decides to say something funny. It probably wasn't really that funn... | 11 | 161.454545 | |
1378756851 | 1379084111 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | WrestlesAtWork: TIFU by failing to realize I was not listening to a voicemail.
I work in a call center. When we're backed up, you can wait in line or leave a callback with a short message that will hold your place. I could have swore I was listening to a recorded message.
.
So I'm listening to this guy talk about h... | 7 | 14.142857 | |
1378757135 | 1378760276 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | jdlee3: TIFU and forgot my mom's birthday. need help!
I just remembered it's my mom's birthday and I haven't done anything for her yet. She's gonna be home soon and I can't think of shit. I can't mess up her birthday because mothersday sucked and it's been a rough year.
EDIT:Thank you all for your suggestions, and I su... | 4 | 1 | |
1378758787 | 1378762635 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | realizmbass: TIFU by riding a bike into a pool
Labor Day. The last day I worked as a lifeguard at my local pool we decided it would be fun to ride my little bmx bike into the pool, basically just for shits and gigs.
Anyway, after we're done, I'm soaking wet, and we have the bike out of the pool, it's almost closing t... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1378772764 | 1378840610 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | PhinsPhan89: TIFU by hitting my roommate's car when parking in our building's garage.
To paint the picture here: my roommate's assigned spot is to the right of mine, and to park I approach from the left, so I have to watch my right-front corner so it doesn't hit her rear-left corner.
When I was coming home from work I... | 4 | 4 | |
1378774340 | 1378854842 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | MurlocStaples: TIFU My Car
Here I was earlier today parked outside 7/11. I parked next to a curb with a streetlamp on it, but didn't think anything of it. I started backing out when I felt my car stop. Confused, I continue backing out, then I started to hear and feel the dreaded scraping of my right bumper. I park the ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1378779552 | 1378786496 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | SneerfulWizard: TIFU and wrecked a BMW with my shoulder
One day, when me and my father were picking up my sister from a friends party I noticed they had a zip line. It looked awesome, but ended right over the driveway - not the hottest idea, I decided to give it a shot anyways. I checked it was all clear and I had my d... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1378786831 | 1378789909 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | vikingnurse: TIFU by confronting Greenpeace or some anti-whaling organisation with my awful sense of humour.
It was some years ago though, when I first came to Sydney.
I´m walking through the CBD when a bearded fellow approaches me and says he wants to speak to me about saving the whales, and how it is unethical to hun... | 5 | 15 | |
1378759700 | 1378873551 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | sideoutpar: TIFU by shredding my buddy's knee ligaments
Back in college, three of us were tossing a football around, and we deiced to try kicking field goals. We took turns. One of us would hold, another kick, and the third guy would stand between two trees with his arms out to simulate the goalposts.
I go, am horribl... | 4 | 6 | |
1378799569 | 1378876519 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | Souluna: TIFU and scratched my butthole after cutting up chilli's
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT BURNS!! Should I pour milk in my butthole? Or just put ice cubes in there.. I have yoghurt, that might work.
sadtastic: The juxtaposition of you preparing food and scratching your bare butthole is pretty nauseating. Don't invite me o... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1378699228 | 1378816841 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Icing_on_the_floor: TIFU by getting semen on my sister-in-law's pants
I was visiting the in-laws this weekend and woke up pretty groggy from a night of partying. I went to the bathroom and decided to get one out to start the day. After finishing, I wiped up and washed my hands. This particular morning, some residual se... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1378807104 | 1378862221 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by browsing the front page.
I was happily browsing the front page when... NSFW Gif without warning.
Why reddit, WHY. I really hate porn without NSFW tags. Now my friends think I watch porn.
depricatedzero: > Now my friends know I watch porn.
FTFY
zebraldinalindabum: I don't watch porn... Maybe OP is... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1378816597 | 1378837529 | null | t5_2to41 | 191 | UnforseenBestiality: TIFU, but at least I don't remember it.
So last Saturday it was my friend birthday and he invited the boys to go out for diner at a new restaurant in town. The service was horrible, but the wine and beer was flowing and the waitress, OH MY GOD THE WAITRESS, they were hot. Small skirts, some with ... | 6 | 31.833333 | |
1378825636 | 1378837102 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | Vulgarity123: TIFU and have to walk around with shit on my pants
Literally happened 5 minutes ago. I had to take a dump so bad i went to the public toilet. I had to go so bad that as I was bending down I was already shitting. I forgot to put toilet paper in the water so it wouldn't splash back but the velocity at which... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1378833924 | 1379002675 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,828 | supstern: TIFU by cutting my sister's finger off
ok so this wasn't today or any day close to today (it was a few years ago when me and my sister were younger). I was trying to go to the bathroom and my sister kept tying to open the door back up. Not thinking about where her fingers were, I slammed the door shut and h... | 12 | 152.333333 | |
1378812219 | 1378835529 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting sent to an alternative school.
I posted this as a comment on a /r/wtf post but I thought it would make a good story on here so.......
BTW this happened two years ago.
At my highschool if you missed alot of days or alot of work and needed to make up you had to go to the town ove... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1378836593 | 1378837508 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | jumboexhale: Tifu By Sneezing
Today I was in my history class and note that I am new at this school and don't know many people. And don't get me wrong I'm a good looking guy so I'm not worried but I sat right next right to this beautiful blonde huge rack I mean she is smoking hot and she's like I have been waiting for ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1378840908 | 1378845750 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | britina: TIFU by paying $516 for an old, broken end table because I spray painted my apartment's balcony.
I bought a broken end table at a flea market for about $10, liked the design of it, and figured I'd slap some paint on it and make it pretty.
I'm a renter in a historic building and I put down quite a bit of plast... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1378845056 | 1379015877 | t3_1m4in8 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Fgmaniac: Aren't we all.
OP pls deliver.
ikindagetthat: My biggest fear is posting my picture and having someone say, "hey I know you". Besides, no one said i'm good looking :)
[deleted]: OP will deliver....
Someday
ikindagetthat: [OP delivered...](http://i.imgur.com/cH0fUQu.jpg)
MaxMayhem: Yeah, you're pretty.
... | 7 | 1.571429 | |
1378854447 | 1378945646 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | idksomethingcreative: TIFU by killing a lizard in my backyard
I wake up from a nap after I get home from school, and I have to pee. So I step outside and start peeing into the bushes next to some firewood (which is really just a tree that fell down in the yard). I must have startled this little lizard, so he scurries o... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1378873592 | 1378944636 | t3_1m524l | t5_2to41 | -14 | drgk: Define consent. When? Under which circumstances? What must be said to whom? Witnesses? Written statements? Video statements?
You're talking about a man's life, under what degree of evidence are you willing to condemn him? The standard to be ejected from your university or lose your job is simple accusation. It'... | 14 | -1 | |
1378855954 | 1378910205 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | DQEight: TIFU by trading for an activated phone on craigslist
Traded a guy for a Sprint phone, Clean ESN but he forgot to deactivate it from his account. My phone that Im replacing that I used to text him has just bricked and he has removed the craigslist post so I can't find his phone number again.
ugh, while we're a... | 4 | 4 | |
1378859485 | 1378873139 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | niggalodeon15: TIFU by breaking my teacher's macbook
My desk is right next to the teachers podium and her macbook was on top of it. She had it hooked up to the projector. So I went to move my desk to get into a group and my desk must have caught the wire for the charger or to the projector. So there I am moving my des... | 3 | 8 | |
1378859463 | 1378876876 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | phi186: Anyone down for Throwback Thursdays?
Seeing a lot of TIFUps that happen to be not today, and sometimes years ago. Do you understand my pain when the title says TODAY and then in the text they're all. LOLjk it was a decade ago. I still enjoy these stories, but because I'm a stickler for rules, I figured an offic... | 5 | 13.6 | |
1378870090 | 1378878211 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | prissy_frass: Accidentally squirted Frank's Red Hot sauce straight into my eyes.
I made hotdogs on stovetop. "hmm what should i add to them while cooking to make more tasty?" Grabbed hot sauce bottle out of fridge. "theres always a cap on this so no worries, i should just shake it up because of habit with ketchup." Tur... | 3 | 15 | |
1378872035 | 1378912680 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | Shogelicious: TIFU by no locking my bedroom door.
You guys know where this is going.
I was on skype talking to my boyfriend and decided to flash him really quick... but he wanted more. So I, willing to please him, spread my legs so he could have a nice view of my ass.
Right there and then, my mother walked in. She ... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1378860954 | 1378953519 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | imadeahugemistake24: TIFU by smashing and cutting my penis
So there I was riding my uncles bike (which I had never rode before). I strted getting up to speed when I decided to check if his brakes worked so I pulled on the brake. Turns out his brakes worked really well and stopped me and flung me forward and my penis ... | 9 | 3.222222 | |
1378878542 | 1378944560 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | erfdan: TIFU by leaving knives unattended in the kitchen.
My kid was running around with a knife, while I was cooking. Apparently he was 'playfighting' his words not mine. He ran with the knife straight into my leg and embedded half of it in. Then because i"m retarded, and for some reason my brain tells me the logical ... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1378882581 | 1379286368 | null | t5_2to41 | 504 | [deleted]: TIFU when I texted my girlfriend about how horny I was. I did not know that her father was in possession of her phone. He also had no idea I even existed before tonight.
A little bit of a backstory. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship since April 2012 since we met at our university. Her family is... | 6 | 84 | |
1378878656 | 1378943702 | null | t5_2to41 | 102 | ThisIsYourExGF: TIFU by taking my BFs virginity.
(This actually happened several years ago, but I am still laughing at this experience).
It was a hot summer day back in high school. Hormones were raging, and me and my boyfriend were looking for a place to get sexy. We finally found a place down what we thought was no... | 4 | 25.5 | |
1378920699 | 1378987678 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,885 | fistmyanusmatey: TIFU by leaving Game of Thrones on while I stepped away [NSFW]
So I was watching Game of Thrones under my desk when I had to step away for a moment. Nothing wrong with that right? Except that I was at work. At my family's business. And it was the episode where Ros and her fellow whore at the brothel ar... | 10 | 188.5 | |
1378921285 | 1379074007 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by being 4 days late on paying a speeding ticket.
... and the DMV having a 10 year old address on file. I went to renew my expiring driver's license today. By all accounts, I was flying through the DMV. Everything went smooth until the girl behind the counter gave me the look. She says 'sir, your li... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1378921691 | 1378959295 | null | t5_2to41 | 213 | Doggyintheheadlights: TIFU by having sex at dinner time
Okay so usually when we're together, my boyfriend and I spend most nights at his place. I still live with my family so it's just easier on everybody for us to have a place to ourselves. Today though he came straight to my place after work and neither of us could r... | 6 | 35.5 | |
1378932049 | 1378957211 | null | t5_2to41 | 110 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally laughing at 9/11...on 9/11
I'm in college. A decent number of my classmates have the morning off with me, so a lot of the time we go down to the living area in our complex where there's a TV, XBOX, better wifi, etc. to do whatever we want. This is the scene for my fuck up.
Now, I had a... | 5 | 22 | |
1378939824 | 1378944699 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | djzlee: TIFU by letting my friends text people on my phone
So my friends took my phone during study hall to text people. I didn't really care because they always do. So I went to sleep. They returned the phone to me at the end of the period and everything seemed fine.
After school, some big ass dude came up to me and ... | 4 | 6 | |
1378940866 | 1378993336 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | TheBlackKnot: TIFU by not asking the girl out.
So, in order to understand my fuck up, a little back story.
I started my second year at College (English, not American). Sitting in a room with another course, my friend and I were looking at the Malicious Advice Mallard meme, so said girl and I start chatting, before our... | 6 | 2 | |
1378947083 | 1379035552 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | snow666: TIFU a cat nipped my hand and it might have rabies
Do I just take it to get the cat's head cut off to see if it actually has rabies?
I don't have any health insurance to get the vaccinations so I'm thinking of going stupid and taking my chances by not getting the rabies shot and see if I die or not, because ... | 11 | 1.545455 | |
1378947004 | 1378952893 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | jazzyd38: TIFU by telling my ex girlfriend a joke i read on r/ImGoingToHellForThis
I done fucked up today.
I was at college and was just sitting in the library on my iPad waiting for my next class, when my ex came sat with me. Now, even though we broke up over a year ago, she is still a really close friend of mine, an... | 6 | 8.666667 | |
1378959261 | 1378961027 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | keiblerclown: TIFU by not cutting a vent hole in a can of beans.
Now, this isn't actually my story. A former co-worker who I keep in touch with is the actual perpetrater, and it happened roughly 20 years ago. That being said, this story was almost legendary...
One day, Mark brought in a can of beans for his lunch, not... | 6 | 6 | |
1378931672 | 1378960021 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by not appearing to my court date on time.
My citation for speeding said "appear on 09/11/13 **by** 8 am." Fucktard here only read as far as 09/11/13. I actually cried in front of the clerk who explained to me that the judge had already charged me with "failure to appear." So my ticket jumped from $178 ... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1378983766 | 1379033265 | null | t5_2to41 | 294 | ToXic73: TIFU by using a "safety" pin to hold my pants up.
So these are fairly old pants and I have had to put a safety pin through the top. The button busted a while ago so the pin is good enough. So then when I go to take a piss and I undo the safety pin and I start my stream then I feel a massive pain in my nut sack... | 8 | 36.75 | |
1378962390 | 1379078465 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | [deleted]: TIFU and ate peanut butter crackers at work
Well I work at a meat processing for a fairly large company so they take food safety very seriously there.
So this actually happened about 6 months ago one late Sunday night, after working for about 2 weeks straight it's needless to say I really didn't give a fu... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1379001279 | 1379101190 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | DannyFnLanza: TiFu by dreaming of exposing my cat Loki to be a fraud and piss fucking my couch then texting my friends at 4am to tell them about what happened.
TL;DR (yes I'm putting it first): I, a 24yr old man, pissed (in) my couch because in the dream I was having I thought I was getting 1 over on my cat. Then of co... | 3 | 20 | |
1378995763 | 1379048756 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my own shit in my face
Hey you guys! This story didn't take place today, it was a couple of weeks ago, but anyway, here goes.
Me and a couple of friends were going camping in a small town with an awesome lake not far from where we live. As we make it to the camping, ready to put up our tents... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1379006602 | 1379020972 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | poopyshower: Today I fucked up by shitting in the shower and plugging it up
I came home from work and went upstairs to take a shower, in the middle of my shower I had to shit. Being extremely lazy I said I'll just shit in the shower. Well when I went to try and stuff it down the drain, it ended up plugging it. Now ther... | 5 | 11 | |
1379006175 | 1379105090 | null | t5_2to41 | 552 | RecursiveDelete: TIFU by doing a recursive delete
I've been writing a PowerShell script to find and delete redundant $RECYCLE.BIN files in our thousands of user personal folders.
The script is going well. It works perfectly fine. It takes a matter of minutes and gives beautiful log and error output info.
Then I n... | 10 | 55.2 | |
1379014346 | 1379368262 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | JohnWalterRoberts: TIFU by Giving Myself Glow-in-the-Dark Eyes
This actually happened maybe a month ago.
I had a whole package of those extra-long necklace glowsticks on the floor in my bedroom. I stepped on the package by accident and cracked ALL OF THEM.
I figured, "Well, why waste them?" So I finished cracking the... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1379023974 | 1379086430 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | Spoogington: TIFU by playing cookie clicker
So have you ever heard of the game cookie clicker? You should never try it. I was introduced to this devilishly addicting game a few days ago, and my roommate and I were playing nonstop.
Then, a computer broke.
Not because we were clicking too much, or the computer overhe... | 3 | 20.666667 | |
1379024706 | 1379102232 | null | t5_2to41 | 390 | ARabidFly: TIFU by donating blood.
I donated blood today because I like saving lives. They tell you after you are done giving not to do any heavy lifting, or and strenuous activity. Well a couple of hours had gone by since I donated and I had kinda forgotten about the whole thing. I was now at home when I started to ge... | 11 | 35.454545 | |
1379027428 | 1379046538 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | pfpiper0: TIFU by farting in the car wash.
I had just entered the car wash, windows up. Double checked that the windows were up. I felt a bubble in my abdomen. I lifted up my butt and pushed out a small, but very stinky fart. I had to put up with it for the next 2-3 minutes because I could not roll the windows down... | 4 | 22.5 | |
1379030411 | 1379215810 | null | t5_2to41 | -5 | guruchild: TIFU by having a micro-stroke in front of my boss.
roses269: How did you learn to fake micro-strokes and why would you fake them? Also, I hope you are doing better!
guruchild: I'm somewhat overqualified for my job, I'm stuck in it because of my own mistakes in life, so I'm a bit of a cynic. It doesn't ta... | 9 | -0.555556 | |
1379034317 | 1379205526 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,470 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing an office prank that nearly cost 1,300+ people their jobs and lost mine
king4456: To be blunt. You seem like a Fucking loser who has no business in an office setting. Glad the corporate world chewed you up early on. No I am not a lawyer. I am an actual blue collar worker. Grow up and underst... | 9 | 163.333333 | |
1379035286 | 1379096891 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | Metallicpoop: TIFU by talking about pussycats
I was talking with my girlfriend on facebook and we somehow went to the topic of cats. She asked me if I owned a cat and I said "No, but I drown myself in pussy every Sunday". I volunteer for an animal rescue group every Sunday where I hang out with cats. Her mom was appare... | 7 | 6.142857 | |
1379037813 | 1379190453 | null | t5_2to41 | 346 | StinginPlatypus: TIFU by accidentally getting a guitar pick stuck in my asshole.
First of all, I'm typing this on my phone, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar errors in advance.
Okay, so, I'm in high school, and I was just happily going about my day until I get into my music period, which is my second to last per... | 5 | 69.2 | |
1379036448 | 1379128866 | null | t5_2to41 | 356 | [deleted]: TIFU by paying the pizza guy after smoking a bowl.
I got done running a few miles and didn't feel like cooking, so I ordered a pizza. Didn't change out of my workout clothes and went to smoke a bowl while waiting for my delicious 'za to arrive. As I'm finishing my bowl I hear the doorbell, so I ash out the b... | 6 | 59.333333 | |
1379045026 | 1379078628 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | 8nate: TIFU by throwing my lighter against the wall really hard.
It's not as bad as it sounds, actually. I was smoking a cig outside my friend's house with some people. My yellow crack lighter, which I had been trying to kill for some time, finally died, so I celebrated by whipping it against a wall a few feet in front... | 5 | 2 | |
1379046773 | 1379096750 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | Nymeria007: TIFU by getting drunk and playing sports.
I joined my company's softball team this past season. Big fucking mistake.
So far this season I have gotten a black eye (beaned in the face by a grounder of all things), pulled both quadriceps at the same time, dislocated my shoulder, and gotten a nasty scrape on m... | 4 | 18.75 | |
1379045649 | 1379427955 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | My_shit_account: TIFU by taking the strangest shit of my life so far
this was a couple days ago, but just now found out whats going on awhile ago. So I was taking a regular dump a couple nights ago and while taking it, there was a bit of s sharp part to it.(not sure if anyone else has ever felt that, but it feels like ... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1379056079 | 1379063436 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU trying to add someone on facebook who's twice my age who I flirted with while I was drunk at a party and is a family friend.
Backstory: My sister is moving out of state for a job and she had a going away party Saturday night. She's the oldest (29) and I'm the youngest (18, soon to be 19 at the end of th... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1379036617 | 1379088010 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | jordanzzz: TIFU by pulling my phone out of my pocket
Well. Today is my birthday was headed out to get food with the wife and some friends, got to the restaurant and we found a 20$ bill on the ground, I picked it up excited that I had found 20 bucks. Turned out when I got home, that it must have been my 20 bucks, and th... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1379070732 | 1379075223 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by talking to a girl
This ones a bit old but I just learned about this sub.
So, I kept running into this girl whom I'd gone to high school with at college. We get to chatting and I grab her number. Fast forward a month or so. We are finally chilling out and meet up at a local mall. We get to talking a... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1379048353 | 1379096969 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | Locrian_DM: TIFU by playing "Superman" right after lunch
This happened last weekend, but I keep forgetting this sub exists. I need to come here more often.
My wife had just finished feeding our son and needed me to hold him for a bit. My brain didn't process that "just ate" = "warning : splash zone" and I did what I... | 3 | 26.333333 | |
1379050303 | 1379079270 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | SolarWonk: TIFU by accidentally tripping the fire alarm when others wanted to do it on purpose
I'm at the place in town that charges a cover for god awful shitty live music played indoors at 65db because I'm in bumblefuck, Mississippi and while its a college town, I still have no hope for their future.
The doors to th... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1379092401 | 1379111106 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | TheDude61636: TIFU I flashed my bios from windows
I have a MSI z77-g41 and it comes with a software called liveupdate and I started the program and it said there is and update for your drivers so I pressed total installer and it started downloading the updates and I went to get a snack and I came back to see it stuck o... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1379047143 | 1379126545 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | Locrian_DM: TIFU - Capsacin is nasty stuff
This is actually a former friend that did this.
Saw an Ask Science post today that reminded me of this story. Happened several years ago but figured it's good to share as it teaches a good lesson.
http://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/1m9vrn/are_there_real_physical_da... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1379112992 | 1379280762 | t3_1mbu10 | t5_2to41 | 16 | Lonelan: Can confirm this is his neighbor.
Source: I'm the boat
Brahma1234: Can confirm OP has neighbors
k12314: Can confirm neighbors are neighbors of neighbors who have neighbors.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1379096385 | 1379202591 | null | t5_2to41 | 651 | Zecin: TIFU 16 years ago and accidentally denounced God in a church
**TL;DR** *When I was five I ran around a church screaming, "PUT DOWN YOUR HANDS, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO REACH GOD" because I wanted to help.*
I've lurked around TIFU for a while and it only dawned on me now that this might be a good story to share. M... | 13 | 50.076923 | |
1379097731 | 1379098799 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | Ibelieveinsummerseve: Tifu - By being in the best relationship I've ever had and about ruined it by FB flirting...
My SO is the best thing to come into my life in a long time. He's funny, smart, determined, kind hearted and a rock star in bed. He's everything to me.
And I fucked up royally by being a complete and total... | 3 | 0 | |
1379099303 | 1379106523 | null | t5_2to41 | 324 | In7meanFlavors: Tifu by not thoroughly chewing my food.
So today I made an egg, mushroom, chia seed, cilantro and garlic scramble (don't judge, I need to go to the foods libraries). I was starving and it was oh so delicious that I just scarfed her right the fuck down. Afterward I proceeded to get ready for my day. At t... | 5 | 64.8 | |
1379103613 | 1379172313 | t3_1mbzgj | t5_2to41 | 15 | Ghostofazombie: Wow, you called someone a faggot; I can't handle this much edginess.
bladbladyblabla: Why do you think he was trying to be edgy? Is faggot an edgy word?
Ghostofazombie: Yes, it's an insult used by people trying to be edgy.
LordVilhelm: Faggot.
Ghostofazombie: 4edgy8me
Octopus_Tetris: 256edgy 512me.
| 6 | 2.5 | |
1379126144 | 1379179152 | t3_1mc2f3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | ch00f: Then you should subscribe to a subreddit for people who make up stories and not support crap like that here.
cognatus: Dude. You're on the internet. It's Schrödinger's cats all the way down.
Twofoe: Must've happened somewhere in the infinite multiverse.
trashlikeyourmom: This comment made me realize that somewh... | 4 | 3 |
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