start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1379105363 | 1379126419 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | Drunktitsthrowaway: TIFU by passing out drunk on the couch after masterbating at my parent's house.
So last night drunk me was watching tv in the living room and decided to just sleep on the couch. I turned the tv off and took off my bra for comfort. I started caressing my tits and decided to pull my shirt over my head... | 5 | 24.4 | |
1379106130 | 1379959910 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | Draygn: TIFU by eating a large can of sweetcorn and almost shitting myself on stage in front of a few hundred people
Background information - I'm seventeen, I play violin in a youth orchestra in the UK and this happened two or three months ago, I don't know why I haven't shared it yet.
So I was alone one day for quite... | 4 | 17.75 | |
1379111568 | 1379204679 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: TIFU by not pulling out when the condom broke and being an asshole.
So yeah, I'm seeing this very lovely chinese girl, and she comes over to my place to "see a movie and have pizza". Of course that's not my plan right?
We're drinking beer, I had a few already before she came over and things get hot and heav... | 5 | 11 | |
1379113994 | 1379128386 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | cursedorenriched: TIFU by trying to flirt with a girl
This actually happened awhile ago, but I just remembered it now.
While on Facebook, I was chatting with a hot girl, we arrived at the idea of hamsters powering the internet.
**Her** : "Dat furry little thing"
Now, I'm much more suave behind a keyboard, usually.
*... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1379116982 | 1379134055 | null | t5_2to41 | 450 | JubilantJake: TIFU by flipping my boner up in my shorts at my girlfriends.
A few months ago I was at my girlfriends house and we went into the garage to get something to drink while we watched Netflix. Well while we were in there she was being frisky then started giving me a blowjob when we heard her mom out in the kit... | 16 | 28.125 | |
1379131486 | 1379382171 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | lemonriot: TIFU I missed my kid's bus drop off after school
Just what I said. Yesterday, I was totally late to the bus stop (by totally I actually mean 2 minutes, but the bus was 8 minutes earlier than usual. So 10. 10 minutes). The driver's are not allowed to let the children get off the bus unless their parent is the... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1379127424 | 1379200416 | null | t5_2to41 | 101 | MrGoodGlow: TIFU by leaving my bathroom door open while a cat was inside, ended up pissing all over a cat. Bathroom is a mess.
I go to piss, leave the bathroom door open.
Now we have this outdoor cat named Yo-Yo that we sometimes let in.
Yo-Yo is super friendly, affectionate, not all that bright. I mean, the type... | 7 | 14.428571 | |
1379110083 | 1379270003 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | binauralshitsound: TIFU by breaking my TV, laptop, and box fan in a stupid temper tantrum
This was actually yesterday, but I wasn't thinking about reddit after the fact, so here it is.
I'm 19, and an utter loser for all intents and purposes. I stayed home alone every summer, all summer, for as long as I can remember,... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1379154571 | 1379184818 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,176 | LeeCarvallo: TIFU by giving my professor a USB drive containing 'horse porn'
Happened a few quarters ago, sorry I only discovered this place recently. I was in a Helping Relationship Psychology class where we were given a task to practice one on one relationships with people who had small and manageable problems. We we... | 10 | 117.6 | |
1379154439 | 1379202370 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | zennjammin: TIFU by getting arrested for Graffiti
The sad part is I was not part of the group doing it. Well I was, they are my friends from school, but I did not do any of the graffiti. I sat there and watched. I picked up a can to look at it at one point, so even if I try to fight it I will just get the prints on the... | 3 | 18.333333 | |
1379163831 | 1379170937 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | [deleted]: TIFU by aggravating nervous fliers.
As is fairly usual in this sub, this wasn't today.
So I'm a kid, about 7 years old and we're on a plane waiting to take off and go to sunny Portugal. Being a precocious child with regards to my sense of humour as I looked around and noticed several people who seemed t... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1379165828 | 1379261042 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | FunkyPanda: TIFU by formatting my computer drunk
My computer got pretty cluttered with shit, so I decided to format it (delete everything and re-install Windows) yesterday, to get a fresh start.
I wanted to backup everything that I still need, but before I could do it my friend called me and asked me if I wanna go out... | 6 | 8.833333 | |
1379175544 | 1379194904 | null | t5_2to41 | 82 | TheBlackWidoww: TIFU by giving my boyfriend's co-worker my old phone to use.
Boyfriend works at the university I attend. One of his co-workers needed a phone since his had broke. I was getting a new plan/phone anyway so I offered my old phone. I deleted all the pics and couple apps that I had on there, BUT I FORGOT ... | 3 | 27.333333 | |
1379203726 | 1379300153 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | jazziedax: TI(triple)FU by flirting with the Starbucks counter guy
So, here I am, on my way to catch the train home from my university campus. I live on campus but I work on Sundays in my home town. I spend fifteen minutes getting ready to leave and decide that, since I have a little time, I should go to Starbucks and ... | 5 | 23 | |
1379203699 | 1379338895 | null | t5_2to41 | 720 | TruckerTimmah: TIFU by accidentally telling the seller of a car what was wrong with his engine.
So a guy on Craigslist locally was selling a 1982 Mercedes Benz 240D 4spd with a "blown engine" the pictures looked good so i went and checked it out, because he only wanted $650 and anyone that knows me knows I'm a sucker f... | 13 | 55.384615 | |
1379228420 | 1379300651 | null | t5_2to41 | 98 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a move
Tonight I ran into an old friend (let's call her A) on the street as I was walking to a party. I hadn't seen her in months so she gave me a huge extended hug. We then parted ways so we could get to the party. Skip ahead a few hours and I feel like going home. I get a text from A saying ... | 4 | 24.5 | |
1379247986 | 1379301603 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | tmama1: TIFU by leaving the stove-top on all say
I got up early this morning to cook my fiancé breakfast. After finishing up, I put it on a plate and left the kitchen.
Neither of us passed it all day until going to bed, where I double checked the back door was locked. And there was the stove top, still cooking, 12 ho... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1379256868 | 1379289731 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | [deleted]: TIFU And Thought My Dream Girl Liked Me Back
To start off with, here’s some backstory. I’m Male, 19 years old. USA.
4 months ago I began speaking with a girl called Amy. We really hit it off and were in contact via text, kik, or generally speaking in person as close to 24/7 as you can get while still actuall... | 3 | 23 | |
1379258869 | 1379283532 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,448 | [deleted]: TIFU. I was convinced today is Monday.
I have packages arriving this week, and could swear yesterday was Sunday when I checked the calendar.
So despite going to bed at 0230+ and needing to wake up at 0700, I pulled myself out of bed this morning, dressed, packed, and waited for a bus that never arrived. ... | 10 | 144.8 | |
1379263755 | 1379267085 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU By Wandering Around Town With Drunk Girls
Last night I went to a party with lots of drinking and possibly drugs. Considering the fact that most people there drinking were underage, I wasn't so keen to be there. After about 45 minutes, a mom of a kid who was EXTREMELY drunk showed up along with our sc... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1379251568 | 1379393373 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | patchy911: TIFU 12 years ago and was an inch away from either losing my eye or being killed
Like I said this was years ago but I was just talking about this story last night and I thought I'd share it here.
I was 14 and was hanging out with a friend walking around the woods behind our neighborhood. We came across a 2... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1379273227 | 1379343798 | null | t5_2to41 | 126 | TheDnBDawl: TIFU by getting blackout drunk and sucking on a random girls tits.
Last night, my boyfriend and I went up to Harrisburg to listen to some drum and bass at a bar. Everything was going great, the music was blasting and drinks were flowing. Then I took a shot of tequila...he said I had two, I don't remember an... | 7 | 18 | |
1379274383 | 1379288668 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | justcuri0us: TIFU by drinking something I shouldn't have.
It was moldy apple juice. A large jug of it, without really noticing I took the cap off and went for a few gulps... then I looked. Now I'm sitting here feeling like I need to vomit but I can't. I also feel like a dumbass for not reading that it should've been re... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1379269744 | 1379307840 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining the first kiss
So I have been casually dating this girl for a while, the first real introvert to boot. Since she is so shy, I've been taking things slower than I normally do, only going so far as to kiss her on the cheek a few times after dropping her back off at her place.
This time was a ... | 6 | 4.333333 | |
1379302697 | 1379472129 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | jbjohnson93: TIFU by oversleeping and missing my date
Tonight I fucked up what would've been my second date with this really great guy because I decided to take a nap today without setting an alarm for the date. I woke up thirty minutes after we were supposed to meet, freaked the hell out when I saw my phone, the time,... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1379306699 | 1379371593 | t3_1mhamj | t5_2to41 | -5 | Release_the_KRAKEN: Oh hey you're that troll from yesterday.
turbantime: haha what?
Release_the_KRAKEN: Or another troll.
turbantime: haha ok buddy what a weird thing to say
VanDanger: the end.
TheSwissRedditor2: the end?
Tek2674: Or is it?
| 7 | -0.714286 | |
1379305039 | 1379435594 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | I_SLEEP_PLENTIFULLY: TIFU by buying a Nexus 4 on August 22nd.
*Look at this phone.*
*It costs $350.* (This is when I buy the phone.)
*Look again.*
*It is now $250.*
["Products may be returned for up to **14 days** after purchase."](http://youtu.be/Dd7FixvoKBw?t=2m16s)
majorkev: See if you can message the ... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1379322050 | 1379470879 | null | t5_2to41 | 891 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a food monster and ended up shitting in public bus
**>3 days before the incident:**
-> I ate 4 medium slices of cheese burst pizza for dinner in one go as I was extremely hungry . The next day I realized my mistake when my stomach had gone upset.
**TL;DR: Ate too much pizza, stomach up... | 10 | 89.1 | |
1379333907 | 1379465207 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | depricatedzero: TIFU by not watching my step
This was Saturday night actually, but the true severity of the fuckup wasn't apparent until this morning.
So I play bass in a punk/metal band. One thing I like doing to ward off any stage jitters is semi-regular karaoke. If I'm not performing with the band at least perform.... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1379342979 | 1379367406 | null | t5_2to41 | 357 | uncle_tambour: TIFU by getting a good night's sleep.
I have worked the same dead-end job for a year and a half, and recently hired on as a work-from-home tech for some DSL company. I turned in my resignation, left the old company on good terms, blah blah. Set up everything for the new job, and I was excited beyond word... | 5 | 71.4 | |
1379346483 | 1379398177 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | conifer_bum: TIFU by dancing drunk
Like many in this sub, this actually happened to me awhile ago, but I certainly wasn't willing to post about it at the time.
I was at a 3 month training course with people who worked for the same company from all over the world. One night, we go out drinking. I overdid it. I woke up ... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1379346799 | 1379390347 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | loganj88: TIFU by getting too drunk and ending up half naked at a concert
I went to Life in Color last Friday and pre-gamed way too hard. I don't remember any of it so this is all according to my friend. But, I was there and was the typical drunk guy trying to get his nut. So I was grinding with this one girl who was a... | 9 | 7.777778 | |
1379348058 | 1379367575 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | xWeese: TIFU by giving personal information to a scammer.
During the breaking bad episode last night I got a notification about one of my tweets on #BreakingBad. The reply to my tweet said that I won a copy of the boxed edition Breaking Bad DVD set. I went to the site, redeemed my code, and gave the scammer my address,... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1379363834 | 1379398650 | null | t5_2to41 | 194 | [deleted]: TIFU jamming to Lion King half-naked with the door open.
My roommate is male and I'm a female. We have a platonic relationship so I never prance around naked or wear provocative clothing.
Well, I just took a shower and had a towel wrapped around my waist. I was waiting for the flat-iron and instyler to hea... | 8 | 24.25 | |
1379378802 | 1379432856 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | closescrape: TIFU by buying crack and getting chased by the cops
Yes it's a fuck up because I'm not into having to lose the cops while on a bicycle. I didn't know what I was doing, just that after the transaction a uniform showed up with a radio, and then the lookout guy kept yelling the "po-po" was coming round to pul... | 4 | 1 | |
1379339141 | 1379422908 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by smoking a joint while taking a shit and burnt my dick.
I really had to go so I decided to smoke it in the bathroom.
Now the toilet seat is pretty small, or maybe I have a big butt, who knows but as a result, tipping my joint was a challenge that involve my missil. It wasn't too bad at first but sinc... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1379386807 | 1379545872 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,591 | My_comments_count: TIFU by looking at porn with my tablet
So my newlywed sister and husband are staying at our parents' house for the week. They just got here a day ago and since her and my brother moved out, my room is the only one that isn't used for storage. So they take my room (which is actually my brothers but I ... | 21 | 75.761905 | |
1379394082 | 1379433692 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally hitting on the lesbian who offered to wingman for us
SO, I started the ̶t̶h̶e̶ weekend half alseep, wanting to go back to sleep or just zone out for a few hours without doing homework, getting high, beating off, or reading, becuase thats all I do these days so I started to hypnotise mys... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1379403049 | 1379404718 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | Butt-cheese: TIFU by teasing my cat who gnawed and clawed my arm
Actually it was on Sunday night. My cat and I were on a walk, and I forgot that he thinks he's a fierce lion when he's outside. I tease him sometimes, pretend to touch his paw or playfully push him over, which he loves - he never gets tired of it; when my... | 3 | 6 | |
1379414724 | 1379431678 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU really, really badly. I seriously think I need help.
Okay, so tonight I couldn't sleep well so I decided to look at some porn and then try again to sleep. I searched something like "teen lesbian amateur porn," I can't remember exactly. I clicked on one of the first sites without looking at the URL, just... | 3 | 2 | |
1379400185 | 1379467767 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Boofe_kur: Tifu by trying to avoid a fight with my friend.
It's actually been am ongoing process for about a month and a half now, but today shit hit the fan.
Me and my friend have been living together for almost a year and a half now. But 3 months ago he got engaged. Cool I was happy for him but then he and his fian... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1379430203 | 1379478171 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,556 | soxfan17: TIFU by killing a mosquito
Yesterday (wasn't today but close enough), I was sitting in my dorm room just doing some homework. Out of the corner of me I see a fucking mosquito that has probably been the one pissing me off at night so I had a rush of adrenaline.
After a few attempts to clap it between my hand... | 8 | 194.5 | |
1379444361 | 1379524103 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | babylegs123: TIFU by clicking a link to "Unpublished Penthouse Pets"
Because I am a cat lady, I saw the "Unpublished Penthouse Pets" link on Vice and thought, naturally, that I was about to see a gallery of urban kitties and pups amongst fancy furnishings. Instead, there were boobs and vaginas. Normally not a problem, ... | 4 | 16 | |
1379446957 | 1379537788 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | theHarboguy: TIFU by inadvertently insulting a friend.
We're having a conversation (via skype) and two of my friends (sisters) get into an silly argument. Another one of my friends comments "rawr catfight" and hilarious me remarks that my money is on the big one, normal right? Wrong. I had forgotten that they are very ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1379400599 | 1379817675 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | nagamari71598: TIFU by being my nerdy self.
Well, it didn't happen today, but you understand.
During the summer, my mom wanted me to get out of the house more, since we had just moved in town. So, I decide to start going to my local gaming store to play some Magic: The Gathering (a card game, for those who don't know... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1379467882 | 1379586945 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming my roommate was in class when he was just downstairs getting dinner
Second week of college, still getting to know my very conservative, religious roommate. Today I thought he was off to his engineering class, and a few gonewild posts on my front page got me a little bothered if you get my me... | 4 | 21.25 | |
1379471148 | 1379472955 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Sharrakor: TIFU by eating trail mix
Trail mix is not a snack food. Don't buy a bag and take it home. If you find yourself wanting to eat some, get about two handfuls and immediately walk away.
This stuff is delicious and so fucking calorie-dense. A 340-gram bag (depending on the mix) contains over 2000 calories. That'... | 7 | 3.571429 | |
1379471728 | 1379691945 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | dakoon2811: TIFU by overwritting a database backup
We were launching a new admissions site at our school. I fucked up and got the database downloads mixed up and ended up nuking 4 days worth of work..... First time I have ever had a boss call me incompetent......
barnacledoor: Wait, did you simultaneously ruin the back... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1379516611 | 1379533552 | t3_1mmmxu | t5_2to41 | 19 | TheExtremistModerate: Our fraternity has found a solution for this. Out back of the house, there's a transformer that people who have been drinking piss on.
There haven't been any accidents that I've known of, since it's so easy to take a "transformer break."
Windows_98: Like the robot?
TheExtremistModerate: Nah, the ... | 7 | 2.714286 | |
1379513960 | 1379746120 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | sparxy5: TIFU by accessing porn in school and getting caught
So like in most schools porn is blocked on the computers but I knew reddit was not so as a cool trick to my friends I thought I would search up gonewild and I got caught and so did my friend who did the same after me, now it is going to be taken further and I... | 7 | 9.714286 | |
1379527756 | 1379611802 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,061 | [deleted]: TIFU: by farting at work
This happened yesterday, and it isn't the usual "Reset the counter" fart either. I work at a meat factory/processing plant, I was in the wipe up room, where they receive new pallets of meat, unbox them and put the meat in crates for the butchers. The wipe up room supervisor was rippi... | 14 | 147.214286 | |
1379526012 | 1379539348 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | johnknoefler: TIFU Well my Boss did and I watched
So this happened quite a while back. Most of my relatives are beekeepers. Some are huge commercial operations. I was working for a relative and he had a foreman who happened to be a long time family friend.
So we are out in the field working on hives and bent over look... | 3 | 23.666667 | |
1379535300 | 1379869806 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | DireWolf223: TIFU by being in the direct firing path of a poopy sneeze bomb.
My 2 year old son is sick. I go to change his already shitty diaper, and for those of you with experience, you know the position. I was sitting while holding his legs in the air to slip the new diaper under his butt, when suddenly he sneezed.... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1379543381 | 1379603584 | null | t5_2to41 | 490 | Epicus2011: TIFU by making my friend show midget porn in his class [NSFW]
I seriously kinda fucked up today, even tough it was freaking hilarious.
So my friend is taking a graphic design class which he absolutely hates and asked me to create a banner for him. He jokingly said, "Do anything you want with it, even midge... | 5 | 98 | |
1379543845 | 1379626035 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | HITLERS_OTHER_BALL: TIFU by accidentally eating pot brownies.
Well, it was a few weeks ago, but anyways: I was hanging out with my friend, and he's always been kind of weird. This time though, he asks if I want to see who can eat more brownies, and I agreed. I think I ate like four or five, not knowing they were pot br... | 8 | 6.5 | |
1379542577 | 1379594836 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | ApolloIV: TIFU by farting during a presentation on suicide prevention
This is a little late, but whatever.
I was giving a presentation in my mental health nursing class on suicide prevention. This was a group presentation, and the way we ran it is that we each took a section of the powerpoint to talk about. Simple eno... | 3 | 15.333333 | |
1379553770 | 1379561452 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: Today a typo on my calendar fucked me up
So today I had a huge chemistry exam. I had known about this exam for weeks; I first learned of it on my class syllabus, which I received on my first day. So on that first day, I input the date and time into my calendar. 9/18 @ 18:00. Today I found out that I accident... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1379563748 | 1379608230 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | OwnedU2Fast: TIFU by updating my phone to iOS 7.
All right, brace yourselves for this.
I have had iOS 7 for a few months and about a week ago, I installed iOS 7 GM on my phone. Well, today I found that I couldn't update to today's full release of it and I would have to use iTunes in order to update.
I got home at ar... | 3 | 7 | |
1379578826 | 1379610508 | null | t5_2to41 | 103 | sudoben: TIFU: by farting just before sex with someone new
Ok so I work as a computer technician for a primary school which btw I think is a great job.
Anyway there is this teacher that Ive been meeting up with for the past few weeks she seemed pretty nice we had a lot of things in common so it was pretty easy to find... | 4 | 25.75 | |
1379598450 | 1379621855 | null | t5_2to41 | 527 | [deleted]: TIFU by winning a Darwin award. Now my girlfriend doesn't dare to leave me alone anymore.
Yesterday night my girlfriend went home for her fathers birthday, so I was left alone to cook for myself. Last time she left for a night I had a small accident with the freezer, which sliced [my hand](http://i.imgur.co... | 9 | 58.555556 | |
1379599047 | 1379642523 | null | t5_2to41 | 98 | joseph_fourier: TIFU by trying to surprise my wife
Not in the way you are thinking...
It is my anniversary tomorrow, and my wife has been having mobility and fatigue problems for a while so I thought it would be a good idea to make her a nice dinner we could enjoy without going out. I picked a menu and for the dessert... | 8 | 12.25 | |
1379567966 | 1379741717 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking my own strawberry flavoured piss.
So I went out with a few friends and consumed a shit tonne of italian food, beer, whiskey, wine and a range of other liquor before heading home and collapsing into my bed. As I got into bed the growing urge to take a piss grew, I couldn't sleep because I nee... | 5 | 18.6 | |
1379606210 | 1379806611 | null | t5_2to41 | 255 | MetroSexual_Hipster: TIFU by spraying Lynx up my ass.
Today was like any other day. I got home from school and went straight to the toilet to take a shit. My diet for the past week hasn't been the best so my shit wasn't the normal consistency. I finished my business and proceeded to wipe my ass this is when the proble... | 6 | 42.5 | |
1379608604 | 1379816191 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | vampyrita: TIFU by asking for recommendations.
My boyfriend and i have been looking to invest in a new brand of lube, because we don't like the one we've been using. naturally, i asked /r/sex about their recommendations. (this was last night.)
today, i woke up to a dozen replies in my inbox, glanced through them, and ... | 5 | 5 | |
1379577190 | 1379705440 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: I still have a hard time believing this really happened...
Okay, I've been dying to tell this story to someone, it actually happened to me about three months ago, but no one has heard it and I'm about at my wits end.
It's basically about how I was still smoking cigarettes and hiding it from my boyfriend.
S... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1379617504 | 1379799172 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | palaceofbone: TIFU by getting a tattoo in arabic that doesn't mean anything.
I thought it was supposed to be my name. It translates to a bunch of letters.
LordBarvis: No worries! I say you own this problem.
If you ever need to defend yourself for it, just make like you did it on purpose. Pretend it's satire on people... | 6 | 12.5 | |
1379622007 | 1379688928 | null | t5_2to41 | 98 | Little_Johnny: TIFU by deleting my nearly finished engineering thesis.
So a little background first. I'm in college studying engineering, and I am nearing the completion of my final term. However, all students have to complete a thesis project and write a paper on their project to be submitted to the school prior to gr... | 6 | 16.333333 | |
1379610189 | 1379655946 | null | t5_2to41 | 95 | fynx07: TIFU by inadvertently showing my apartment neighbors all of my anatomy
I was painting my new apartment while my fiance was sleeping away a pregnant nap in the bedroom. We had taken down the curtains to make around the windows easier to paint. Let me rewind a bit by saying when we first moved in, we initiated wh... | 3 | 31.666667 | |
1379623272 | 1379650660 | null | t5_2to41 | 618 | [deleted]: TIFU by pretending to be mentally retarded to use the handicapped bathroom in an office building.
I was a good distance from any other bathroom so I decided to walk into this office building and find one.
This was an extrteme bowel emergency so I entered the first one I located, which was the handicapped a... | 7 | 88.285714 | |
1379619014 | 1379641639 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | [deleted]: It's been one fucked up week. My friend shit on my head then TIFU by shitting my self waiting for a bus.
So I'll try to keep this short, basically me and a few guys were at our friends house over in the next town, getting high, drinking beer and what not. One of our friends passes out, so being the lovley fr... | 3 | 23.333333 | |
1379618033 | 1379656481 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,000 | ararararararagi: TIFU by registering a domain with my full name
Around one year ago I was looking for work in the sound engineering/music area, so I decided it would be a good idea to register a domain name with my full name to make myself look more professional to employers. So I go ahead and register with uk2.net, "m... | 8 | 125 | |
1379636074 | 1379650540 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting a listerine tab on my eye
I don't know why I did it. I justed wanted to see how it feels. I'm such a dumbass. Have to keep eye shut to avoid air touching it and making it hurt.
UrSkek: Dave?
[deleted]: Dave's not here man
JohnnyWink: I just saw him downtown and he said wtf.
| 4 | 13.75 | |
1379618556 | 1379703251 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | MicroCosmicMorganism: Der Deutsche Fuck Up
My brother travels extensively for work and has friends from all over the world. A few summers ago, his friend from Gunzburg invited him over to dinner. It was a pleasant evening, but something was bugging my brother, he could remember someone coming from Gunzburg, but not who... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1379653024 | 1379656333 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | sockmuppetteer: TIFU by not drinking enough water
TIFU by not drinking enough water (for several days in a row, actually). I'm on new medications that each severely dehydrate me, and during the summer I had no problem downing a bottle of water and peeing every hour or so, but now that school is back in session I'm not... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1379649863 | 1379785961 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | Locrian_DM: TIFU and caused nasal trauma
If you're anything like me when it comes to brushing your teeth, you may find the task boring. I attempt to multitask while brushing, which usually extends the action. Tonight's multitasking consisted of brushing, watching the Daily Show and redditing with my laptop. I was ab... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1379687634 | 1379723783 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,310 | throwaway453246: TIFU by taking MDMA before my orgo chem exam.
Oh man, where do I start. I have been studying all week for this exam as I wanted to start out the semester on the right foot. 6:45 this morning, the day of the exam, I decided to take a Vyvanse to help focus and get a bit more studying in before the test. ... | 10 | 131 | |
1379684122 | 1379736703 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching my best friend overdose
We had just injected 3 marijuanas and when it reached his heart it stopped. Please, if you know anyone who injects marijuana, speak to them of the dangers of this plant which kills millions each year. The life you save could be your sons
Black_Pearls: This is a joke..... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1379707755 | 1379908349 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | MistaWesSoFresh: TIFU by dropping a deuce in one of the houses I manage
I look after people's houses while they are away sometimes. This one time I was at this particular house Downtown Chicago (River North) I had to drop one badly. Every house I go to is usually on the market and usually as empty as it gets so using t... | 5 | 13 | |
1379713549 | 1379770811 | null | t5_2to41 | 105 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my "toy" on my bed...
My sister came in to wish me a happy birthday while I was dying my hair. I havent seen her in forever so she asked if my bed was safe to sit on (i'm an illustrator and she accidentally sat on paint once...) so we can chat for a bit. Welp i tell her yup and continue to mi... | 4 | 26.25 | |
1379719749 | 1379736996 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a cancer joke
This was actually a couple years ago when I was learning how to drive. I was in the back seat of the student driver car with my best friend while another student was driving. I was talking to her about how I had a bunch of random bruises on my arm. Then I jokingly exclaimed "O... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1379738151 | 1379967786 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | chai-tyto: Tifu by standing up to my boss
Some of you may remember my story from several months ago wherein I gave a doorstop to an addict and got bitched at twice for it. Well this happened about a month ago already but I feel like I should post it anyway.
So after that ridiculous incident my boss was always on edge ... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1379744913 | 1379878876 | null | t5_2to41 | 961 | Aithen: TIFU by getting the "finishing blow".
Let me start off by saying I work in construction. A lot of minor injuries happen on a daily basis so I have built a pain tolerance. Today was a bad day though.
I honestly felt like I was invincible since it was Friday... I fucked up when I decided to act like I was invinc... | 10 | 96.1 | |
1379772498 | 1379793865 | null | t5_2to41 | 150 | tonygordita: TIFU by going into work hungover
Ok, so yesterday my dumb ass went into work with a righteous hangover. You know, one of those 'wake up still kinda drunk and totally nauseous, you could throw up at any minute' type deals.
Motherfuck, really? I have to work 8 hours like this?
So, backstory: I work in a ch... | 4 | 37.5 | |
1379800040 | 1380071215 | null | t5_2to41 | 662 | [deleted]: TIFU Lost Virginity, killed the mood immediately. NSFW
This is a tale from about a year ago. So after months of trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex with me, she eventually agreed. I was ecstatic about this decision. Fast forward 2 days(when it happened). We were in my room, just finished doggy style... | 8 | 82.75 | |
1379804988 | 1380053773 | null | t5_2to41 | 502 | CaptainSnowy: TIFU by making tea in an apple sauce jar
Alright. So, at around 5:15 in the evening (about 25 minutes ago), I decided to make myself a cup of tea to fight off the mid-evening snooze and get focused for the night ahead. It started off just like any other mid-Saturday affair, except all day today I've had a... | 7 | 71.714286 | |
1379814082 | 1379826681 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | NeedSomeSplaining: TIFU by getting an 82 year old car into a fender bender.
In reality the whole thing was pretty minor, but I felt like shit. So my dad and I were getting our 1931 Ford Model A out of a storage unit about 1.5 miles from our house. This car belonged to my great grandfather and is all my dad has left of ... | 4 | 17.25 | |
1379821343 | 1379950391 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | noamshomsky: TIFU by saving over my boyfriends GTAV data.
Shit shit shit.
We've been alternating playing, he was at 37%, I am at 18%. I've been soo good about not overwriting his game, even after 5 hours of play and delirium.
He went out for the night, and I stayed in. After relaxing and hitting a bowl, I was final... | 9 | 7.444444 | |
1379824628 | 1379876499 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Sheltoro: TIFU by being colorblind
Tonight I was coming home from a friend's house after a fun night of GTA V (not relevant to the story, but still a super fun game) and I was approaching a stoplight and my eyes tricked me into thinking the light was green when it was actually red. Luckily I didn't crash, unluckily the... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1379826895 | 1379942267 | null | t5_2to41 | 340 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my girlfriends brother rub his face with my splooge-rag
TIFU well a couple years ago I did. So, my girlfriend F(17) picked me M(16) up one day to take me to school while my car was in the shop. I think it was getting the clutch fixed or something. Alas I digress, so she picks me up early, with... | 8 | 42.5 | |
1379828638 | 1379870838 | null | t5_2to41 | 146 | Coastal_Cruise: TIFU by realizing that I have been attending the wrong class
I'll explain this in chronological order.
During the end of the last school academic school year (spring semester), I decided that I wanted to take a break from my university in order to resolve some anxiety issues that I had been experiencin... | 4 | 36.5 | |
1379842113 | 1379915539 | null | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by cheating on my girlfriend with her best friend and losing them both.
Sorry if this is a bit of a long read I just wanted to include all the details.
I was talking to this girl I liked lets call her Bec. As things started going places her best friend Jess started talking to me on facebook.
I start... | 4 | -0.75 | |
1379883308 | 1379883732 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | mems_account: TIFU by leaving 2 months worth of Calc homework till the last day.
Have to do it all by tomorrow at 9:15 AM. I am currently 1/3 of the way there.
Manchee1017: Let me help: GET OFF THE INTERNET AND WORK
...unless of course you're actually using the internet to help, like http://www.wolframalpha.com/
mems_... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1379886745 | 1379911101 | null | t5_2to41 | 804 | Lolrama: TIFU by slapping my dad in the face
Well, I'm cheating, as this happened last night, but whatever.
So I was reading /r/nosleep on my iPad at 3 AM when I heard my dad come up. I had headphones on and I heard a door close, so I assume he went to sleep. A couple minutes later, I see a hand appear on the screen o... | 8 | 100.5 | |
1379887212 | 1380038032 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU while sharing a moment with my SO in a public park.
Last night we had parked in a park near a friends house and walked to a party there. Afterwords, we came back to the car and decided to get hot and heavy.
Right in the middle of it all, two police cars pull up, and knock on the windows. We both were r... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1379889220 | 1380066101 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by talking behind my sibling's back while they were home
Sibling is a bit of a forever alone living out of parent's basement.
Lately, I've been asking mom what he's been up to recently. Today I told her he needs to get his shit together. Belittled what he's done/been doing recently because it really is... | 3 | 11 | |
1379902271 | 1379905088 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my girlfriend's foot
So today, I was doing nothing like every other Sunday and I decided to call my girlfriend to go to the rib burn off that our park has every fall. It got pretty late and there was nothing exciting happening except her falling down all those the hills. Right after that my ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1379904816 | 1379910479 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | powdog: TIFU by sleeping with an old fling
This guy I used to hook up (I'm a girl), we'll call him T, with a while ago came back in town to visit some mutual friends. I tried to date him towards the end of our thing (~6 mos ago) and he skipped around it a lot, so I dropped him and started sleeping with someone else. Ri... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1379909765 | 1379984208 | null | t5_2to41 | 174 | Xandrosaurus: TIFU and almost got my dog shot
I live in a slightly ghetto neighborhood, and I have a medium sized dog. There are a lot of untrue stereotypes about ghetto folk, but from experience, the one where they're terrified of dogs is pretty accurate. I try to be accommodating and keep my dog away from anyone who ... | 8 | 21.75 | |
1379934138 | 1379967642 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | easynametoremember1: TIFU by loudly yelling a racial epithet while killing a spider.
I was eating dinner, and I suddenly saw a **huge** spider on the wall. I'm not fond of spiders, not in the slightest, and my family immediately cast the responsibility of killing this behemoth to me. So I grab the broom and walk toward... | 4 | 23.25 | |
1379958173 | 1379988995 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,418 | bean_flicker_fuckup: TIFU by flicking my bean at work.
Throwaway for obvious reasons, but I thought you guys might find more humor in what happened to me than I do.
Today I've been feeling particularly horny. I think it's a combination of PMS (which makes me want to have a dick inside me in the worst way), and just ... | 13 | 186 |
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