start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1383533526 | 1383534891 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | T_shick85: TIFU by breaking my boss's Mustang against my Parents's warnings.
Well for starters, let me explain the situation. I'm a 17 year old highschool student that has been working at Wendy's for around 8 months. I've grown kind of close to my one manager (we have 4) and we kinda serve as each other's sanity becaus... | 3 | 1 | |
1383521152 | 1384239528 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | wdijgu: TIFU by not paying attention during the SAT
It was so ridiculous that I still don't quite know what to think about it. I was taking the SAT, doing well, confident in the essay that I wrote, yada yada. Well, we went out for break and per the proctors instruction, I slipped my answer packet into the test booklet.... | 6 | 4.666667 | |
1383535420 | 1383553123 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU and hooked up with a virgin at a halloween party.
Some friends threw a big costume party last night for Halloween. Costumes, scary shit everywhere, the whole shebang.
I got a little too drunk- drunker than I'd been in a while, and threw morals out the window. Some girl I'd never met, but who is friend... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1383539408 | 1383671800 | null | t5_2to41 | 748 | IphoneIPadLinked: TIFU by masturbating on skype with my girlfriend's dad
Throwaway account just to be on the safe side...
It was just a casual lazy day of watching football until my long-distance girlfriend sent me a dirty snapchat picture or her in just her underwear. Naturally, I respond in kind, and things escalate... | 8 | 93.5 | |
1383541337 | 1383559220 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | smashy5: TIFU by charging my friends iPod.
So my friend left his iPod in my car, I went to grab it and decided to charge it up before returning it to him. I plugged it in and it started to sync to my itunes. I thought: "Oh shit, his songs will get deleted." So I disconnected it. All his songs are gone... all 8000 of th... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1383480990 | 1383620547 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | alot_of_bots: TIFU by vomiting into a friend's sink at an [8]
TL;DR: spent more than an hour trying to unclog a sink (with my hands) that I mega-vomited - all while at an [8].
Longer version for those who'd like some detailed info:
A week ago I'm at a friend's apartment, pretty high. For whatever reason I start to fe... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1383542677 | 1383660471 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | cak3isyummy: TIFU by asking my mother in law if she ate my hot pockets
**Background**: My mother in law is crazy. She has no regard for anyone else. She is completely selfish and is an alcoholic. I know this, so I do everything I can to not provoke her. Everything that happens to her, she complains about to everyone sh... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1383574189 | 1383581759 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | randomredditor353: TIFU by not having sex with flatmates sister
my friend/ flatmate had his sister and a few friends over for a few days and instantly me and my friends sister hit it off. we all went out to a big party one night and when we got back things started getting a really flirtly and instead of going for it I ... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1383580493 | 1383687678 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | throwaway91537: TIFU by squeezing my dick while peeing.
So I went to go pee and I lifted the toilet seat like any normal man would do. About halfway through my pee the toilet seat started to fall down. So not wanting to spray piss all over the seat, I tried to stop myself from peeing squeezed my dick, and tried to catc... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1383585017 | 1383614327 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,405 | [deleted]: TIFU by jerkin off w/a condom and possibly causing my parents to divorce
Alright, so it was around 1 am, and I wasn't quite tired yet so I figured I'd rub one out to try and tire myself and go to sleep. I turned on some porn on my phone and went to work. Raw doggin' it wasn't getting the job done, and I reme... | 10 | 240.5 | |
1383556434 | 1383623025 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | abeniman: TIFU by pouring half a bottle of turps into the sink
Art is a mandatory subject at my year, and after painting and shit, we start to pack up the room, including the paint brushes and what not. And naturally, ~30 people all sharing a troft type sink is a bit of a clusterfuck. Then I see this bottle, half full ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1383592175 | 1383619553 | null | t5_2to41 | 144 | grubas: TIFU by not cleaning my apartment
Our landlady thought we weren't going to renew our lease(November 15th), we told her we were, but she had scheduled a tour and our upstairs neighbours are leaving. The other day she mentioned that this was going to be today and that she was going to tour our apartment instead(... | 5 | 28.8 | |
1383602014 | 1383620750 | null | t5_2to41 | 561 | nike215: TIFU by not putting my Halloween decorations away
So on Halloween we had a fake graveyard with funny names/sayings on them like Anna Rexic and etc. It took a little while to set up but it came out pretty nice. The day after Halloween I decided to leave them in my lawn, as I didn't feel like putting them away a... | 6 | 93.5 | |
1383604943 | 1383607256 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | themeowzart: TIFU by trying to relax.
(Actually last night, but we all know that doesn't matter too much)
(And hey, I'm a girl. Cuz I know that's gonna be asked.)
This weekend I only had 1 day off (I haven't had many days off the past 2 months), and when I managed yesterday, it was a complete disaster. My friend (who ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1383609597 | 1383676384 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | chocorrroles: TIFU by being racist
This actually happened last friday but I had no internet access.
First of all, I'm not american, and my first language is not english.
I was in a bachelor party with a big group of friends (18 of us) in a cruise ship. A long time ago, the groom went scuba diving and got sunburnt li... | 8 | 4.375 | |
1383609974 | 1383884497 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my friends girlfriend pregnant
So last week, I bought some condoms with my friend because our girlfriends are friends and etc. so anyways, he called me and the condoms were really Shitty and his load broke the condom and she's pregnant. Fuck.
WhatWouldTrotskyDo: How is it your fault? You boug... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1383601720 | 1383623139 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | R_Kelly_Loves_Whites: TIFU by leaving my flashdrive at home
Ok, just for background: My Spanish 2 teacher is an incredibitch. It's not all her fault, though. She's a native mexican and has trouble speaking English. But I (and everyone else) still get annoyed with her. For instance, if she says something is due that day... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1383616735 | 1383664300 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | therabidturd: today i fucked up by restoring my ps3 with out backing it up
i literally lost over one thousand hours of save data and have to update everything i have again
falken4: Damn that sucks. But how did you forget to back up your saves? If you were restoring on purpose.
[deleted]: My ps3 had sone corrupted dat... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1383616270 | 1383642778 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | Romeltheguru: Does Wendy's hire 14 year olds?
XxandrealphusxX: This isn't /r/askreddit or /r/wendys
Romeltheguru: Oh my god what the fuck I thought I posted this on r/Wendy's
XxandrealphusxX: HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Oh my god this was awesome.
| 4 | 3 | |
1383625732 | 1383695815 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking out a coworker
I normally don't just ask out coworkers for obvious reasons, don't like to shit in my sandbox. I was there to relieve her for her break and joked that I was there to sweep her off her feet, she said that wouldn't be hard - just don't be a psycho, and gave detail of her crazy ex... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1383632049 | 1383811339 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by schlicking with blinds open. (NSFW)
For those who don't know, "schlick" is the female version of "fap". (Yeah, we touch ourselves too).
So, I fucked up tonight when my normal session turned into a marathon. Usually I am satisfied after a good two, maybe three orgasms, which require no more than like... | 6 | 0.166667 | |
1383621006 | 1383970847 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | nerfbabble: TIFU by longboarding in the rain.
So I was heading back to my apartment after leaving my university campus. I was raining lightly and I only had a thin T-shirt on so I wanted to get back quickly as it could rain harder and I didn't want to get wet or get my longboard rusty. On my way back, my board lost it'... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1383651446 | 1383700491 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,721 | Maklo_Never_Forget: Me being an idiot and now under police investigation about child porn/about to get kicked out of school
**UPDATE:**http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1pxzy8/me_being_an_idiot_and_now_under_police/cd846se
-------------------------
A friend of mine send me this picture after a huge hardcore/har... | 15 | 181.4 | |
1383641417 | 1383668847 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Writer_Of_Fantasy: TIFU by cutting myself even though i was instructed how not to cut myself
Our class is carving carving linoleum, and the teacher told us how to keep our hands safe and how to carve and explained in detail 3 times to be careful, so of course what did I do.
Immediately after I started carving I put my ... | 4 | 4 | |
1383647659 | 1383661767 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | IxuntouchblexI: TIFU by eating 2 boxes worth of oatmeal crisp in a day.
I tried this new cereal we got and I fell in love. I finished a whole box and went back some more. I ate that new box and fell asleep. I woke up running to the bathroom. Apparently the cereal had some effect on my bowels and now I've been shitting ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1383647862 | 1383680741 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | eezle: TIFU and cost my boss a lot of money.
I work for a very small hot sauce company and usually our boss is there to walk us through the process when we are cooking hot sauce (It's way more complex than it sounds and we make 7 different flavors). We are extremely behind on ~~ebay~~ amazon orders and rushing to make ... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1383660540 | 1383831919 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: Today, I realized I fucked up a month ago.
Baydude98: Hey, if you have a decent computer, I could add you to my [Family Sharing](http://store.steampowered.com/sharing/) group on Steam, so you could have around ~25 or so games at your disposal to kill your boredom until you get a job?
[deleted]: The offer is... | 3 | 8 | |
1383650365 | 1383674621 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | shabadah: TIFU by racially abusing my boss
We were having a pretty animated moan about upper management and inconsistent changes.
When I went to say "there are too many fucking chiefs," instead I yelled at my (Indian) boss "there are too many fucking Indians" in the middle of a crowded office.
[deleted]: Do you still ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1383666147 | 1383681326 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU and got caught taking a crap by a game camera.
I'm the only female on a crew of 6 guys working outdoors. I can usually cop a quick squat to pee behind a vehicle, but this call of nature required a bit more time. So, I moseyed over to the adjacent abandoned farm place and found a nice tree which provid... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1383674169 | 1383676140 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | aksdgh: TIFU by not realizing my coworker was working from home
So my company uses an internal chat messenger program. I saw my coworker's status was online so I just assumed he was in his office and I could talk to him anytime. Later in the day my manager asked me for a status update, and I told him I was working with... | 4 | 5 | |
1383683940 | 1383746564 | null | t5_2to41 | 72 | holycrapitsme: TIFU by redditing at work
For anonymity purposes, I've changed names to coworker A and B.
I was redditing on my phone at work and saw an nsfw post that I clicked on. Then I get a message from coworker A so I put my phone down on my desk face up. Coworker B walks over to my desk to talk to me. I had t... | 5 | 14.4 | |
1383685052 | 1383702279 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | FrostySack: [META] Are we just giving up on the sidebar?
It's been over three months since the Fuck Up of the Week was updated. As great it much be for the reigning champ, is it just not a part of this subreddit that is cared about? I've messaged the mods twice about this.
dog_butts: I like the Fuck Up of the week, a... | 4 | 15.25 | |
1383684640 | 1383700198 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | hovarsaltaccount: TIFU by accidentally showing my gym teacher my dick.
I'm in highschool and p.e. was just finishing, so we go into the lockers to change. I pull down my shorts and start pulling my pants out of my locker to put them on. Unfortunately, my penis had somehow slid through the little slot in the crotch so a... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1383686681 | 1383755379 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Hellion102792: TIFU by forgetting basic electronics safety and almost juicing myself
A little background. I have a 1967 Gibson Skylark, it's a small 5w tube amp. Last summer I restored it to working order by doing a full filter cap replacement and adding a 3-pronged AC cord, all without killing myself. Those 3 years... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1383697188 | 1383781976 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | theChristy: TIFU by attempting to set our 'atomic' clock
The time now reads 1300 hrs...on Dec 25, 2079.
I have no idea what I did. Our clock didn't set itself, I pressed two buttons, and suddenly...the future.
Freakin' daylight savings time.
theChristy: It won't change. I can't get it off military time. I am the worst... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1383702122 | 1383842123 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | Mordit: TIFU by wiping my dick with a disinfectant wipe
So after a long...LONG run I got some chafe rashes so I decided to take a bath, afterwards they were still pretty sore so I went into the cabinet and found a little packet of e-z-wipes for cleaning your hands after a meal. Being the idiot I am I wiped my thighs an... | 4 | 16 | |
1383695422 | 1383783561 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Ihaventfuckedyet: TIFU by texting sexy time phrases to my hairdresser while getting a haircut, for her to read later, at her request, but having gone temporarily insane, sending it to my wife by mistake.
Ok some background. Me and my wife met in our mid teens, were our firsts, and knew nothing else. We married because ... | 3 | 7 | |
1383706686 | 1383802052 | null | t5_2to41 | 435 | MyBigDirtySecret: TIFU by having sex with a minor
For those of you not familiar with the gay community, there is this app called Grindr that is used for "dating".
I met this kid on there who said he was 18, gave his birthday (and he was 18 and 1/2 according to that), and after talking to him for about 3 weeks, decided... | 10 | 43.5 | |
1383703319 | 1383759358 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | noat1inparticular: TIFU by making a girl i was trying to date cry and make transport porn with a girl i dont even know
Last night i went out with an old school friend to see a band play. I knew a good few ppl there. Including this incredible girl that i have been flirting and swapping clothing with for some time. We b... | 3 | 1 | |
1383708668 | 1383795408 | null | t5_2to41 | 257 | LoverGirl1219: TIFU by skipping school to have sexy times with my boy friend
So, it was my last period of the day which was athletics, so I told my coach I was gonna ride my bike to the track then home after a run. Instead went to my boyfriend s house.
He is recently home schooled and his parents had just left so I wa... | 12 | 21.416667 | |
1383711177 | 1384231059 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | MercenaryOfOZ: TIFU by buying the Clean Version of the New Eminem Album
So I'm not really too close with my brother (meaning we don't talk to that much) and he asked me If I can take him to Walmart so he can buy the new Album. So I said yes I will take you after work at 8. I pick him up the second I get home and were o... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1383745022 | 1383755783 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | rabidstoat: TIFU by telling a woman with a prosthetic hand it looked like it hurt
So I'm at a fast food restaurant with a friend. We go up to order. From what I can see of the cashier's arm it looks like she has a cast with a pin of some sort in it. There was also artwork on the cast, like someone decided to decorate i... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1383750951 | 1383796569 | null | t5_2to41 | 324 | [deleted]: Tifu by relying on a teacher for a recommendation letter
So, I asked two teachers for a recommendation letter for college. Both of the teachers knew me the best, and the schools I'm applying to all allow two letters, few allow three, but they all require two.
Anyway, one of the teachers still hasn't writte... | 7 | 46.285714 | |
1383755503 | 1383768532 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | hbarover2: TIFU by trying to be nice to a stranger.
So while I was pulling out of my driveway today, this african american man comes up to me on his cell phone and tells me that his daughter, who goes to a nearby college needed help with her car.
Elaborate story aside, I was incredibly stupid. I invited him into my ca... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1383757632 | 1383866747 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,801 | ThatMetalPanda: TIFU by orgasming a little too hard.
So I come home this morning from a particularly long and boring night at work to my loving fiance and since I'm tired and want to relax, we split a couple bowls.
After a few minutes things start getting hot and heavy and he ends up giving me one of the greatest orga... | 12 | 150.083333 | |
1383775569 | 1383934858 | t3_1q1ayz | t5_2to41 | -2 | erutuFniatpaC: This isn't fox news, we aren't trying to scare everyone we can.
Batty-Koda: Getting checked by your doctor isn't a scary thing. When you have something abnormal happen, see a doctor. That's what they're for. Better be told "nope, you must not have it" than not be told that you do and risk another crash.... | 5 | -0.4 | |
1383765846 | 1383846153 | null | t5_2to41 | 183 | lookofwords: TIFU By leaving the dog gate open (NSFW)
So, I live in a house with my brother, mom, and her boyfriend. Lets just call him Bob. So in our house we have a chihuahua. We keep her in the kitchen because she isn't house trained and she also loves to get into trouble when she manages to get out of the kitchen. ... | 7 | 26.142857 | |
1383785127 | 1383794669 | t3_1q1v5h | t5_2to41 | 14 | TevaUSA: I'm sure he didn't consciously choose "let's go buy beer instead of seeing papa take his final breaths". Don't throw table salt on a clearly open wound.
Purpleskyscraper: Any particular reason that it's table salt? Just wondering...
TevaUSA: It lacks the richness that unfiltered salt does, and thus wouldn't do... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1383776707 | 1383789268 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | Marysthrow: TIFU by backing out of my garage
We have a 2-car garage, barely. I have had my license for a whopping 5 months now. We've been parking both cars in the garage for a week now. Last night I pulled in straight. This morning, I went to back out straight, and hit my mirror on the garage door frame. The garage is... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1383778367 | 1383866817 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | emerythe8th: TIFU by leaving my beloved toy on the plane.
TIFU by leaving behind my favorite electronic gaget, my red 3DS XL with Zagg protective stickies on the outside in the seat pocket on a passenger jet. I'm a little preoccupied at the moment with my grandfather's impending death my grandmother's complicated and e... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1383791477 | 1383849011 | null | t5_2to41 | 322 | Spearhead90: TIFU by walking in on my brother masturbating, falling, hitting his face off the bathtub, and me pissing myself.
Its been a long night, I'm 16, on a Wednesday night, doing some chores after the lady-friend had left, and I grabbed some Kool-Aid (because I'm 5 on the inside.). I had one glass at first. Then ... | 11 | 29.272727 | |
1383787056 | 1383845474 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | TheSicks: TIFU by shaving in foreign territory
I actually shaved my nether regions about 3 days ago, but it caught up with me this morning when I was at work. I made the mistake of using a cheap single blade razor to shave the base of my no-no zone and got a really bad regrowth irritation.
It started out as a little i... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1383785332 | 1383842857 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | 837746227395021: TIFU by lending my friend some boots
I have a dirty little secret: I own a vibrator. I own a 4 inch long, three speed, rotating, vibrating, vibrator, and occasionally when all of my housemates are out, I use my vibrator. I'm sure I'm not the only straight man who owns a vibrator, but I can't say I've e... | 4 | 12.75 | |
1383789515 | 1383830918 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Revelgoodpeople: Waiting 5 days to register for classes...
So Nov1st was the first day to register for classes for the spring semester, I had met with my advisor in the middle of october so I was set, but me being the procrastinating asshole I am, kept saying, i want to double check and maybe rearrange some of my class... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1383805887 | 1384626769 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | VE2519: TIFU by overestimating my swimming ability.
Ok, not exactly today, but on a Sunday a few weeks ago, and no, it did not involve anyone shitting themselves.
I was hanging out with some friends and my crush. We were all derping about at the 1.5m end of an Olympic sized pool, playing tag, fighting with giant noodl... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1383815273 | 1383854348 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting on the floor
I have suffered from lazy bowels since a toddler. I have not had a natural bowel movement in years. Once (or twice) a week, I relieve my chronic constipation with an ample amount of stimulant laxatives as nothing else works. Since my stomach was distended, resembling one belongi... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1383813883 | 1383816487 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU and lost 1000 dollars on non-refundable travel expenses.
I fucked up by neglecting a single facet of my trip and was unable to cancel anything because I decided to travel one day in advance. I managed to get everything in place except for one tiny detail.
Goodbye 1000 dollars! I feel like a fucking idi... | 4 | 1 | |
1383788135 | 1384345588 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | Tyrannical_Rek: TIFU returning clothes to Walmart (NSFWish)
I went to return a hoodie I bought from Walmart because the hood had been torn before I bought it. I found out the hard way that there is a STRICT no return policy when there is a giant cum stain on the front of the hoodie! I got drunk the night before and mu... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1383800131 | 1384047339 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Walmartninja: TIFU by calling the cops at work
I work at this Deli Shop and its my second week working. So, There I was, slicing all kinds of meat using the slicer. I was already doing some minor fuck ups through out the day but the major one was when I was slicing. The security alarm control is right next to the sl... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1383833787 | 1383906872 | null | t5_2to41 | 911 | Alcapwn92: TIFU by reading reddit in class.
So I was reading the front page Ask Reddit post on sex. Someone wrote how sex had a certain smell and the following comment said "Sounds juicy". For some reason I thought it was hilarious and had a quick laugh out loud.
But there was a person giving a speech in front of the... | 11 | 82.818182 | |
1383847215 | 1383859516 | null | t5_2to41 | 156 | rebelutionboarder: TIFU by pissing on my girlfriend.
Just bought a brand new memory foam bed. Guy asked if I wanted a waterproof liner I said no. Had a dream I was at a party and needed to piss. Went into the bathroom in my dream and started pissing. Pissed all over brand new bed and girlfriend. Didn't even drink last ... | 4 | 39 | |
1383851874 | 1383860738 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by bailing
(non-native english, be gentle)
Let me just **briefly** explain the relationship with this girl.
I knew this girl before college (technical university in my country), but nothing serious. Two months passed since the semester started and it seems that we are good friends. We usually talk abo... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1383857985 | 1383877400 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | FlashFlip: TIFU by going to the mall.
So today was one of those days where I lost the motivation to go to class, and I decided instead to kill some time at the mall.
I had a dear old time, walking through the mall to get to the bookstore. I walked in, checked out one of Grisham's novels, thinking I would buy it. I de... | 6 | 8.666667 | |
1383856854 | 1384450719 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | Servomoore: TIFU by whining in a comment section
I ~~am~~ was a freelance contributor to Cracked.com. Today an article was published where they were trying to recruit new freelance writers. In the comment section for it, I saw somebody say something to the effect of "nobody looks down on you" among the site's editors. ... | 6 | 8 | |
1383860348 | 1383862510 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Fryulator: TIFU before I was even awake
I'm an interesting person in that I'm both a light and heavy sleeper at the same time. What I mean by that is that is quite difficult to wake me unnecessarily, but I am still fully aware of and will react to most interruptions as if I were awake, and will will even wake up fully ... | 3 | 8 | |
1383862176 | 1383874787 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | lawnicus18: TIFU the Last Post
So today, it was a remembrance day service at our school, and I was chosen to play the Last Post, on my trumpet. So, I start playing, I'm so nervous that I fuck it up a lot, and after a bit, I say "SHIT!" pretty damn loud. I was behind a curtain, and I could hear people chucking and holdi... | 6 | 10.166667 | |
1383849154 | 1383867419 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | sp00nzhx: TIFU by eating Thai food.
Technically, I ate the Thai food last night. However, today came the pain.
I'm usually known in my circle of friends as the guy who gets food that other people considers inedible (be it tofu as I'm a vegetarian, or, as is the case here, spicy). I love my spicy food. It burns so goo... | 3 | 2 | |
1383867264 | 1383945203 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | FundRacer: TIFU with 3 seemingly insignificant actions, culminating in 3 facepalms.
Be warned that this story may be too tame for some people's taste but it certainly made me feel stupid.
So I've just finished work. I've been working out in the rain all day and I've promised myself a subway as motivation for getting t... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1383877546 | 1383934355 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | Jball19: TIFU by accidentally playing porn in a lecture.
Note: Not that it really matters but. I'm a girl and everyone on my nursing course bar like 3 people are female.
last night I decided to have some me time whilst watching a bit of porn. My laptop is a load if shit so i decided to watch it on my tablet. I finish... | 3 | 18 | |
1383880274 | 1383956939 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,018 | BicycleRacked: TIFU by trying to be flirty
This morning, during a field trip, my class was disembarking the bus at a rest stop when I spotted my crush. I wanted to hang out with him during the stop since I didn't get to sit next to him.
I snatched his hat off his head and put it on. "Ha ha! Got your hat!" I squealed a... | 11 | 92.545455 | |
1383876983 | 1385140213 | null | t5_2to41 | 291 | omgelethrowaway: TIFU by exposing myself on Omegle.
So this happened yesterday, but it is still burned into my mind so I need to share. Yesterday, I had a lot of free time, hours more that I usually do. Usually I would go to school, work out, and go home to do my homework. Two days before, I had just turned 18 so in my... | 6 | 48.5 | |
1383876211 | 1383899994 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | iCerulean: TIFU by learning the hard way I'm allergic to latex.
I never knew I was allergic to latex until I had sex for the first time with my SO wearing a Latex condom.
To understand how it felt, rub fire on your crotch and then put some itching powder on it. Then watch it swell up and burn like fuck when you pee. ... | 6 | 6.5 | |
1383881803 | 1384162463 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | emilyeverafter: TIFU by taking nude pics for a male companion
So, this didn't happen today, rather a few days ago. I only realized two days ago that the fuck-up was caused by nude pics. However, I posted this as a comment in an askreddit today and realized that, as a reader of this subreddit, I was doing the TIFU com... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1383893101 | 1383900756 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | afteryou_I_insist: TIFU by farting while walking through a meeting of my boss and other higher ups
I had to drop something off in our conference room where my boss and a bunch of other high ranking employees were in a meeting. Just before I walked in I let a fart silently pass through my butt cheeks so that when I walk... | 3 | 6 | |
1383900599 | 1384657309 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,235 | K3R3G3: TIFU by finally taking a stand when I shouldn't have
(This is a bit long, but I think it's worth it)
I attend classical orchestral concerts in a hall of about 2000 - 2500 people. There are frequently sounds that really take away from the experience, whether they be coughs, sneezes, whispers, dropped programs,... | 11 | 203.181818 | |
1383903986 | 1383947214 | null | t5_2to41 | 295 | iCerulean: TIFU by accidentally telling my SO's mother, "Sup, nigga?"
My SO's brother and I are good friends and we like to call each other, "yo bitch", "Mah nigga", and so on. We are not black, but we are not racist in any degree whatsoever. We all go to a school with few white people and we just kind of picked up on ... | 6 | 49.166667 | |
1383914163 | 1384198516 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | Blob_Fish: TIFU by forgetting my house key.
Now I'm stuck outside in the pouring rain with a phone that has 5% battery left, and nobody that will be home for another hour.
Captainhowarth: Piss through the letterbox, claim it was the dog.
Blob_Fish: I don't have a dog.... but I do have a sister...
Captainhowarth: Claim ... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1383922384 | 1383930264 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Platinum1211: TIFU by sending my ex's brother a text meant for my new GF
This actually happened about 2 weeks ago.
So I was with my ex for a few years. Had a good relationship with her family and more specifically her brother and his gf. PArt of why we broke up is because she was going to grad school for 4 years in Ca... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1383925794 | 1383955777 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | daily_87: I used the wrong direct deposit form "TWICE"
zalloy: Call them, and explain the error. Get a copy of the right form for your account, fill it out, scan it, and either email it or fax it to them. It shouldn't be too hard to get it straightened out.
Are you already working for the new agency, and did they al... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1383933044 | 1384054326 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,728 | OddlyStrangeMan: TIFU by peeing on the man next to me at the urinal.
So me and my girlfriend just moved into an apartment together 4 nights ago and everything has been amazing so far. Each night when I get home we have had the same routine, she cooks dinner and we eat, followed by hookah, weed, and alcohol and a good a... | 9 | 192 | |
1383932523 | 1384015068 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | HwrdStrk: TIFU by corrupting at least half of my work's servers
(Disclaimer: This happened yesterday)
So a few weeks ago, co-worker and I were looking port scanning our network when we noticed that we had a port opened under the name "LDAP". So we looked into it and found that is was a protocol for working with distri... | 6 | 10.833333 | |
1383938993 | 1384178084 | null | t5_2to41 | 312 | ninjarabbit577: TIFU - wrong text to the wrong person...
Moving over from r/AskMen...
Me and my BF haven't seen each other for a few days.
This morning I decided to tease him a little. I wrote a text "Thanks for the orgasm this morning." He was not with me this morning and I meant to tell him I pleasured myself thin... | 6 | 52 | |
1383940315 | 1384032541 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | p0litinerd: TIFU by not paying attention to the selected drive
Sometimes, technology is unforgiving.
Today I fucked up by trying to format/load the CrunchBang Linux ISO to my USB thumbdrive for install on another computer - only to accidentally selecting my external hard drive instead.
900GB's of data that I had be... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1383941957 | 1383951310 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by being cautious and underconfident
While doing my driving test, I had to take a left turn on a street of 80 km/h speed limit(about 50 mph) . Approaching the intersection I was unsure if I would be able to turn on time and I decided to wait. Apparently not taking my opportunity cost me my test; I didn'... | 5 | 2 | |
1383943129 | 1384282766 | null | t5_2to41 | 147 | WallOfSteel: TIFU by dropping a knife on my penis.
So, I just got out of shower this morning and I though it was a great idea to prepare breakfast while naked. I tend to use more oil than I need in my food, and being a clumsy piece of shit and thanks to my slippery oiled hands, my hands slipped off the knife I was usin... | 6 | 24.5 | |
1383945494 | 1384077480 | null | t5_2to41 | 382 | gerrettheferrett: TIFU by typing "shits" instead of "shifts" in an email at work, sent to my boss, my boss's boss, and all my coworkers.
The problem was compounded when the email self-corrected all other spellings of shifts.
"My shits were pretty quiet this week."
"I have a busy looking shit tonight that I am not lo... | 6 | 63.666667 | |
1383953728 | 1384032930 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | inspiredman: TIFU By Telling Interviewer I Didn't Watch News
I was interviewing for a position in a news station...
whelp_welp: Not much to say here.
inspiredman: :)
| 3 | 22.666667 | |
1383957602 | 1384232885 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | Throwawaytoday423: TIFU By falling asleep for two minutes
This story is hard for me tell I have so much shame....my wife and I are proud parents to a seven month old son. We want more kids soon but aren't ready just yet and my wife can't take birth control so we have to use condoms around her ovulation time. Last nigh... | 4 | 19.75 | |
1383985750 | 1384028274 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU By talking shit about a girl to her boyfriend.
So today I was asked by a friend if there was any parties going on. I'm 24, hes 22. I told him nothing was going on and that he should talk to a specific girl.
Now backstory. I DJ and our DJ/Rave scene is fairly small, and this specific girl is considered... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1383977532 | 1384294733 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | internettemptress: TIFU by falling prey to my first internet scam.
Before I start this post I would just like to clarify that I am a 23 year old female with excellent credit, have had my credit card since I was 19 and have always been wary of internet scams. Today, however, was different. It was late and I was passing ... | 3 | 11 | |
1383981340 | 1384009209 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | jaredpaik: TIFU by going to the supermarket
So I'm currently in that awkward period between starting a new job and getting paid. And I was down to my last $100 until I get paid on Thursday.
I was walking around the supermarket getting my groceries and at some point I dropped two $50 notes which must have slipped out o... | 4 | 4 | |
1384004957 | 1384042456 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,070 | CaptainRandus: TIFU by bringing a girl back to my place after my band played...
SHE PISSED MY FUCKING BED!
EDIT: I'm getting a lot of comments asking for the story. So since, i'm still seeing people asking, and have since been called a rapist, i'll share.
**really not much to it, my band was third to play, had a pret... | 9 | 118.888889 | |
1383972440 | 1384039318 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my laptop open while I went to work - This story does not involve porn or embarrassment.
I bought a new hard drive to back my TV shows up on. The plan was to actually move them all there first, clean out my old drives and then back up. So I set it up to move everything over while I was at wor... | 3 | 1 | |
1384039134 | 1384040679 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | [deleted]: Tifu by exposing myself at a grocery store
________
nachtegaal930: everyone's weight fluctuates between 2 and 5 pounds a day. that's why you're only supposed to weigh yourself once a week at the same time on the same day.
Also you should really talk to a professional about this fixation- even if it's not af... | 5 | 12 | |
1383970561 | 1384209095 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | Chemizt: TIFU by attacking the wrong person in the washroom...
Oh my god I attacked some chick while in crab position in the girls washroom today.
I was in the washroom with my friend, Karola and she was in the stall, and I came up with an expert idea to scare her by turning the lights off and attacking her leg.
I tu... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1378866109 | 1384116873 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU and signed a petition
Okay this is more 2 weeks ago, but anyway.
I was at Reading Festival, and while *reasonably* intoxicated the group I was with got approached by some volunteers from ActionAid. The person who was talking to me was a young blonde girl, and asked whether I'd like to sign a petition. ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1384044682 | 1384291725 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,025 | SemenInMyEyeOhWhy: TIFU by getting my own semen in my eyes.
So I was just stroking the ol' sausage today when in a horny stupor I decided to find out what it felt like to cum on my face. I figured if so many pornstars do it then it couldn't be that bad right? WRONG. It got all over my eyes and burned like a motherfuc... | 7 | 146.428571 | |
1384046640 | 1384150052 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | gentleman_horse: TIFU by swallowing asthma inhaler stuff and leaking shit all over my bathroom floor.
I have asthma, and this at 3.00 A.M. this morning, I had an attack. I went to use my inhaler, and when I used it, I swallowed about 3/4's of the spray. That may not seem bad, but a common side effect of inhalers is nau... | 7 | 10 | |
1384053194 | 1384420117 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by emotionally damaging a boy (first post)
Let's start this story out about a year ago. There was a new kid in my grade and we were on a winter sports team together so I made a point to be his friend. He was shy and not very cute... but it was our grade's prom last year so I thought "hell, I'll ask if h... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1384029974 | 1384093431 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Kristoefur: TIFU by yelling at my friend's mum.
This actually happened back when I was a teenager, but I just remembered it and it still makes me feel embarrassed.
So I was staying my friend's (let's call him Sam) house for a night with a group of friends. Sam's parents weren't home, and we had a good time. Being a gr... | 3 | 8.333333 |
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