start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1384059692 | 1384127438 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | chickenlittleshit: TIFU by snapping at my in-laws.
So my wife and I have been together for over 12 years and her parents have never liked me for a variety of reasons. Well after 12 years of biting my tongue whenever they felt like being shitty to me, today I lost it and snapped at them. Pretty much a "I've been married... | 3 | 4 | |
1384060359 | 1384272320 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | bbq-chips: TIFU by standing up to wipe my ass
Now I've been a stand-up ass-wiper for all of my life. I never could fathom how somebody could sit down and wipe their ass. Not for the life of me. But after today, I'm folding. I have to learn to do this now.
And here's why.
It all started when I was sitting at the compu... | 6 | 8.833333 | |
1384076938 | 1384085855 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | HydrofoilGoat: TIFU by not paying attention to my arm position
So this isn't that big a fuckup, but it bloody hurt.
My housemates dog rarely gets walked and isn't trained, but whenever I walk her my housemate gets shitty with me and bitches about how it's her dog and blah blah blah. I feel sorry for the poor thing but... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1384059883 | 1384218433 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | tmama1: TIFU and ate mold
I always amused I could eat anything. Dropped food on the floor, I'll eat it. Burn it, I'll eat it. I'll even eat meat are and it's never so much as phased me. Today I found bread with the beginning of mold. It was the only bread I had so I toasted it, and ate it.
Now I wanna throw up
sawc:... | 6 | 2 | |
1384091946 | 1384173011 | null | t5_2to41 | 120 | MrPeterIt: TIFU by letting my dad use my laptop
My dad had to pay some bills and he asked to use my laptop, I happily obliged, opened my laptop and there, full screen was porn. Gay porn. This really isn't a big deal because I am out, but it was REALLY embarrassing and all I could do was slam my laptop shut, turn beat r... | 13 | 9.230769 | |
1384098231 | 1384131437 | null | t5_2to41 | 907 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my gf kicked out of the house and now my life could be changed forever.
this will be long and messy, sorry im on my 15 min break.
i took my gf (lets call her jessica) of 2 months to a party last night. it happened that the party was in the same culdesac as her moms husband. her mom was sep... | 12 | 75.583333 | |
1384104262 | 1384207235 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | Kursawow: TIFU by kissing a woman who isn't my girlfriend.
It actually happened Friday but whatever, its starting to hit the fan today.
So Friday I went to go help a friend I've had for about half a year go dress shopping for her debutant ball, or some big dance. Things were going platonic until time came where we ha... | 8 | 6.25 | |
1384112972 | 1384143189 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU by riding in an elevator.
Not today but last night, my roomate, his girlfriend and I went downtown to our friends apartment to pre game before hitting the bars. So we're slamming back brews and what not, and we run out of booze and head out. Now here's where I start to fuck up. As we get on the elevator... | 3 | 14 | |
1384116960 | 1384120227 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | 2dvh: TIFU by being a good pet owner and taking my cat to the vet.
Archczar: Is this a tifu or a first world problem? Use a cat carrier and buy a new pair of dockers! Very funny story- what did your mom think?
2dvh: Yeah I should prolly get a cat carrier.
And it was a pair of pajama bottoms not dockers,haha.
My mom d... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1384121454 | 1384186371 | null | t5_2to41 | 712 | Iamnotindanger: TIFU by giving away £60 worth of pizzas to a customer for free.
It's pretty simple really.
I work in a pizza store, and this lady phoned up and asked for 6 large pizzas and lots of sides, to be collected.
-20 mins later-
She comes in and waits for about 5 minutes because there's been a delay on one... | 9 | 79.111111 | |
1384126845 | 1384668491 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | Jeeringdrip: TIFU by fooling around with my married boss.
I don't know why I did it, other than hormones. He is everything I hate in a guy and I've never considered myself to be a slut before. Yes he is cute and flirtatious, but that's never been an issue. I didn't think things would go as far as they did considering h... | 9 | 2.222222 | |
1384146089 | 1384223035 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my virginity to a hooker
Ill make this really short and quick to read.
Went to bar, had no luck.
Buddy ended up coming over with a hot girl and said shed fuck me.
We talked and then ended up in the back of my SUV
Buddy tells me later that he paid the hooker to fuck me and thought it was... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1384147467 | 1384187596 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | TylerTman: TIFU by working 14 hours
I get off my 14 hours shift and decide to head home for the 3 day weekend. I end up locking my keys in my car with the car running had to just about break my fingers/wrist jamming through a crack in the window to unlock the doors. As I'm doing this a cop stops me cause it obviously l... | 3 | 22 | |
1384156327 | 1384200576 | null | t5_2to41 | 533 | yingmail: TIFU and killed my new cat.
jrdk: That's sad :( try to think things through next time. Common sense will gova long way
yingmail: It was an accident.
[deleted]: It was an accident, yeah we get that. But anyone with a little sense knows not do pull that. Take solace in the fact that it was an animal and not a... | 12 | 44.416667 | |
1384142953 | 1384184545 | null | t5_2to41 | 288 | porn4everybody1111: TIFU by showing 3D porn to my family.
So I just got a new 51" active 3D TV.
The first thing I watched as Avatar. It was so amazing I wondered what porn would be like.
Put some on, and started rubbing slowly. Since I didn't to touch a new remote and put dick germs onto it, I elbowed the off button ... | 5 | 57.6 | |
1384175129 | 1384212806 | null | t5_2to41 | 436 | Clashloudly: TIFU by setting fire to my hair, beard and face.
Well, not *today*, obviously - this was on Saturday. I am a fire spinner (using a fire staff) and fire breather.
I went to a friend's party and decided to do my thing on the roof, where the people who wanted to chill out from all the dancing and drinking go... | 8 | 54.5 | |
1384178836 | 1384212903 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,080 | the-derpinator: TIFU by holding it in on a road trip.
Well as the title suggests, we were on a road trip.
We had stopped at a petrol station about 10 kms back, but I chose not to go because of the appalling state of all of the rest rooms. What I had done at this particular stop was buy a whole bunch of snacks for the r... | 7 | 154.285714 | |
1384166142 | 1384303263 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | catmeifyoucan: TIFU by taking my Ritalin pill instead of of my birth control... at 10 pm.
Don't know how it happened... I guess I was on autopilot... "Hey, time to take my medicine"... Containers look absolutely nothing alike... And didn't really figure out my mistake till I was wide awake at midnight and my bc pill wa... | 7 | 16.857143 | |
1384193385 | 1384194658 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | lkmakeupyourmind: Poop covered keys!
kinda_alone: Please repost and start it with TIFU. Thank you.
Your friendly moderator
kinda_alone
lkmakeupyourmind: You got it!
| 3 | 1 | |
1384191719 | 1384199919 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | Obalanserad: TIFU And destroyed my friends pants.
Well, it's a Monday, I was feeling productive. And my jeans was trashy as hell, so I decided to cut the back pockets of them, just so I could sew them onto my new pants. First pocket off, got some receipts, strange, but not strange enough. I never take those. Ah well, ... | 4 | 8 | |
1384194690 | 1384199318 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | lkmakeupyourmind: TIFU Poop covered keys
I just thought I would share a funny story with you guys...
I work as a vendor in a pretty large cosmetics store all over my state. While I was working on location I went to the restroom to handle my business. As a makeup artist I carry a pretty large tool/brush belt which I alw... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1384201989 | 1384239106 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by not buying condoms
So I was at my girlfriends house earlier today and we decided we wanted to go all the way. Now this would be my first time doing this so I was pretty excited however I'm not an idiot so I left to go buy condoms(also my first time).
I go to the nearest gas station walk around and ... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1384204078 | 1384306351 | null | t5_2to41 | 110 | FiftyShadesofDutch: TIFU by misspeaking and suggesting a high school girl was well-endowed
I [21M] work at a media corporation, and I was working on a high school sports story about a notable team of cross country girls. Sorry to be vague, but I’m trying to leave out identifying details.
Anyway, I was talking to the c... | 4 | 27.5 | |
1384217135 | 1384236058 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by making myself appear racist on a Hardee's application.
I was just filling out a Hardee's application on my phone answering the usual Yes or No questions. You are given 45 seconds for each question and you can't confirm them or go back to them. I got to the question "Does it bother you working with p... | 5 | 13 | |
1384226809 | 1384238560 | t3_1qf1mq | t5_2to41 | 1,226 | yonoober: She kinda turned away and blushed, then while giggling, she said "I'll wait."
It took me about a minute to get myself under control, and that was *while* thinking of getting my dick slammed in a door and other painful things like that.
She hasn't told anyone (to my knowledge), but I've told reddit.
Yes, my... | 14 | 87.571429 | |
1384047921 | 1384394650 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | LastResortXL: TIFU by taking my cousin's dog for a ride.
I will preface this story with the fact that I am still in the process of fucking up as I write this. So my cousin and I are in the process of moving him out of his apartment. We just decided to take a break and take his dog for a ride with us into Newark. She ha... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1384188720 | 1384232052 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by lighting my ass on fire.
You know the nursery rhyme "Jack is nimble, Jack is quick, Jack jumped over the candlestick."?
Well, I may be nimble, I may be quick, but my name's not Jack, and this wasn't a candlestick.
It was a campfire.
Don't be Jack. Or else your favorite pair of pants might get ru... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1384214269 | 1384237062 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | tifuthroway: TIFU By taking nude pics and letting dropbox save them to all my devices and then my friends saw them...
So I was wondering how everything looked down there, so I took a pic of my dick to see, I quickly deleted it after but failed to realize that dropbox stores pictures taken on your automatically to all d... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1384232156 | 1384380776 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by mistaking my dogs ashes for food
Today, I was setting the table for dinner (mmm, roastbeef!) which requires clearing the table off first. I was brushing aside some papers and other crap when my hand hit this white box. It was quite heavy, not what I was expecting from a flimsy box like that. I didn't... | 9 | 5 | |
1384245506 | 1384495937 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | UnicornStorm: TIFU by using shampoo as lube
The day started like any other day, I got up, went to school, did boring shit and came home. I did homework and played games, but I hadn't watched any porn for a about a week (I'm 15 so I'm at the peak of puberty), basically meaning, jacking off 3 times a week.
At about 9 I... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1384239560 | 1384280651 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | AnOriginailName: TIFU by drinking, smoking, and eating undercooked food on a camping trip
So I’m relatively new to Reddit but here's a shameful story that, although ended somewhat triumphantly, was a personal defeat. This story is long and happened awhile back but I think a good one. I went camping with some friends a... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1384278739 | 1384322322 | null | t5_2to41 | 125 | senseiaj: TIFU by getting piss everywhere because of a spider
I'll start of the story with why I was in such a jumpy mood. At about 6:30 this morning I started having this weird dream where my backyard was covered in spiderwebs and I started picking at the strings of one to get it to fall so that I could get across the... | 5 | 25 | |
1384279843 | 1384313973 | null | t5_2to41 | 405 | Wheyffles: TIFU by basically telling the world I almost bent my boner during sex
Okay so posting this doesn't make it any fucking better since I'm in essence telling EVEN MORE people. But at least Reddit doesn't broadcast my few posts to my immediate family and people I wish wouldn't know anything about my life.
**Con... | 8 | 50.625 | |
1384232053 | 1384290538 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | throwaway_475: TIFU by pricing myself out of my gym
Was at the gym talking to the manager. Mentioned that the gym down the street wasn't any nicer but charged more. The manager seemed very interested in how she could charge more for membership without making any improvements. Might not be able to afford to continue at ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1384294703 | 1384479416 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by out running a cop
I had just gotten off school and was making my way home. I was thinking about a girl I have feelings for, but sadly she is dating another guy. Well in doing all this "hard" thinking I hadn't given thought to the fact I should apply my brakes because I was on a downward slope. I see ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1384301059 | 1384364610 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | effse7en: TIFU by forgetting to check a plug and not paying attention to my trash can
So today was my IRL cakeday (yaaay...), and I was going to go to Starbucks before work for my free drink, but I woke up too late to get there before work. Fuck up #1
I showed up for work, and I had a car on my rack that I left there ... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1384303423 | 1384367477 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting high for the class I have with my crush[unintentional][sortof]
Today I decided to get stoned at lunch with a few buddies of mine, which is something I RARELY do but when we do we smoke a lot; needless to say, I was very high. After lunch I have math class with this girl I am REALLY interested... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1384315124 | 1384375960 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,554 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally posting one of my gonewild pictures as my facebook profile picture
So I was trying to change my profile picture and to the one I wanted, and I had to move the file to a separate folder. I was stupid though, and I didn't look at it before clicking the picture. It was IMMEDIATELY set as my... | 10 | 255.4 | |
1384313997 | 1384317010 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally screwing my sister while my girlfriend screwed my sister's boyfriend
Me, my girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend all planned a small camping trip together over the weekend (this actually happened on Saturday so just pretend I posted this then). We got a tent setup in a nearby forest a... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1384317245 | 1384387494 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | wangfaye: TIFU by fooling around with a guy.
Well, Sunday night was the actual fuck-up. Met a guy, drove out in his car, fooled around a little- no sex, but handjobs, fingering and making out.
On Monday I first experienced symptoms of a urinary tract infection. Yesterday they were manageable. Today I feel terrible, g... | 3 | 5 | |
1384321996 | 1384656241 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing nylon. [NSFW]
A little background info: Guy here. Since I started jerking it a young age, about 8, I have had some trouble climaxing without covering the head. To aid this, I usually wrap my shorts around my dick and go from there.
I decided to wear nylon today, and it brushed up against the... | 6 | 17.333333 | |
1384317771 | 1384335086 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | milkymoocowmoo: TIFU by trying to manscape [NSFMales]
So a few years ago I shaved my wedding tackle bare using a regular old face razor. Loved the result, did not love the itching that followed, never did it again despite wanting to. Well yesterday I decided it was finally time, but perhaps just a trim instead of going... | 4 | 14 | |
1384349516 | 1384427837 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by catching greyhound
Thanks
zalloy: If it wasn't for terrorists planting bombs and people smuggling drugs, you wouldn't have to go through that kind of crap when travelling. Thanks to the stupid people doing stupid things, we all have to deal with the consequences. You'd probably be better off driving ... | 4 | 0 | |
1384372608 | 1384532982 | null | t5_2to41 | 521 | domenow: TIFU by having 18 orgasms
...thereby missing a class that the professor told me I really can't afford to miss any more days of. And, just to clarify: that would be 17 full blown orgasms, and 2 half orgasms.
It was 12:20, and I had to be out of the house by 1. I was right about to shower when I suddenly got in... | 10 | 52.1 | |
1384390124 | 1384398120 | t3_1qk6fq | t5_2to41 | 436 | Ghost17088: I'd make him fucking walk. Don't care if its 10 below out. You fucked up, it is your job to fix it, not your parents.
LiquidApple: Remind me to never be your child.
creepersneedkarma2: haha it gets 10 below where I live and my parents still make us walk.
edit wait a sec are we talking about Celsius or Fahr... | 13 | 33.538462 | |
1384375931 | 1384396306 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | missingeyes: TIFU by taking an ambien in the middle of the day.
Fuck. I thought I was feeling a bit sluggish as the pill started settling in. There's no way I can drive with the walls of the world closing in on my field of vision. Suddenly it dawned on me. I took a sleep aid right after waking up and heading out to wor... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1384380103 | 1384422388 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | leedade: TIFU by using too much oil on the sausage
Sorry for misleading raunchy title, wanted to cook sausages this morning, put too much oil in the pan because i had just woken up, thought it would be fine anyway and turned that stove up. Not 5 minutes into the frying my pan bursts into flames almost burning my eyebro... | 6 | 13 | |
1384381190 | 1384552712 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | ChillingInTraffic: TIFU by sitting outside of class.
So, today my usual class schedule was changed up a bit. I got out of my class early, so I decided to go to the library like I usually do, but this time I was there about 20 minutes earlier than usual and there weren't any computers open, so I decided I'd head to my n... | 4 | 10 | |
1384386426 | 1384468815 | null | t5_2to41 | 870 | CupcakeGirl84: TIFU by wearing the wrong underwear to work (NSFW-language)
First thing's first, the job I have is very physical-I'm always on my feet, lifting heavy things, up and down ladders, sweating, and being active and gross in general. I definitely don't wear granny panties but at work I usually wear pretty gen... | 11 | 79.090909 | |
1384388332 | 1384754072 | null | t5_2to41 | 92 | FlyYellowMoon: TIFU every single step of the tea-making process.
I wanted to make a nice cup of herbal tea before I went to work.
First, I grabbed the wrong mug (not a travel mug) and prematurely put the sweetener and tea bag in it.
Then I realized there was standing water left in the kettle, which I proceeded to po... | 4 | 23 | |
1384394117 | 1384534853 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | alternateasian: TIFU by leaving my dildo in the shower.
I share a bathroom with my mom and my younger sister. After I drop my sister off at school, I have the house to myself.
I had a doctor's appointment today and I wanted to have a bit of fun before I left.... so I brought my dildo in the shower for super wet fun ti... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1384400267 | 1384410759 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | Dimendq3: TIFU by greeting the GM of my workplace with a racial slur
I work for a middle class, but professional car dealership and I'm both new and young. When I hang up my coat as i come in, I pass by the general manager's office. Our GM is a very friendly man, but very strict on rules and social policies, but he's l... | 3 | 3 | |
1384459356 | 1384513456 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,868 | A_Sea_Anemone: TIFU my by looking in my coffee before drinking.
Edit to title: TIFU by NOT looking in my coffee before drinking...
I have braces and sometimes food gets stuck in them. So when I fucked up and took a drink of my coffee, I thought the thing I was feeling in my mouth was leftover food. Crunch... feels sq... | 11 | 169.818182 | |
1384457758 | 1384460839 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | PerkinsOhoolihan: TIFU by bursting into tears in the middle of my Spanish Oral Exam
Exactly what it sounds like. Spanish 3150: Comprehension and Expression.
I think I expressed myself fairly well through emotions, at least.
VascoTheGamer: Did you at least cry in Spanish?
PerkinsOhoolihan: It may have come out Russian ... | 4 | 19.75 | |
1384464606 | 1384633010 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by triggering my girlfriends anxiety issues
Me and my girlfriend are long distance at the moment, and so we skype almost every night.
Well, one night we were skyping and as usual, and being cute she asked me to just talk about random stuff or make up a wee story to help her to sleep, which I did gladly... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1384469519 | 1384478375 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | dgavb: TIFU by forgetting to check to see if there was toilet paper in the stall.
Okay, so this happened last Tuesday. I apologize it didn't happen today. If you really want, I'll do it again.
My friends and family know me as a long shitter. I've been known to make people wait an hour for me while I take a shit. My fa... | 3 | 28 | |
1384475391 | 1384539587 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | anus_ice_cream: TIFU by ruining a pair of slacks and my wallet that had a condom in it.
So I was eating my dinner. It was delicious home made shrimp scampi and I was loving every bite. I put the plate on my lap and leaned over to reach my phone and forgot there was a whole bunch of oil on the plate. The oil spilled all... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1384475804 | 1384594770 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | benwubbleyou: TIFU by trying to light a plastic, battery powered candle.
Like the title says. This isn't a horrible one but more of a funny one. I am an idiot regardless though.
I work at a church as a videographer/media producer type thing and I need a shot of a candle on a black backdrop.
I head upstairs and grab ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1384483307 | 1384503204 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: tifu - hooked up with co-worker at company party
last night there was a company party at a local bar, I got wasted, and a co-worker and I made out in front of everyone, getting to third base with even (while at the bar).
I'm so embarrassed and disappointed in my behavior. I went to work today and acted like... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1384489891 | 1384641421 | null | t5_2to41 | 72 | ISentYouFurryPorn: TIFU by accidentally sending my friend furry porn
I tried sending her a picture of a fedora as joke, but I accidentally clicked on some furry porn I had laying around and Facebook automatically sent it to her. Fuck.
Edit: [Proof (warning: furry porn, duh)](http://imgur.com/aT6xgG7)
spaghettifier: Se... | 17 | 4.235294 | |
1384500213 | 1384506483 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by absolutely destroying a relationship with a girl
Okay so I have been dating this girl for about a month everything has been going great with no complaints so far. Anyways me,her, and a few friends were at my house for a little party tonight to celebrate her birthday (22). We are having lots of fun (y... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1384523693 | 1384815864 | null | t5_2to41 | 901 | ChildishSerpent: TIFU by snotting on my wife's nose.
So, this morning my schedule and my wife's schedule have overlapping time at home from work. I work nights, she doesn't have to be in until 11 am.
So, I'm a little tired from working my shift, but we haven't had sex in a little while, and I'm kinda horny, so I star... | 10 | 90.1 | |
1384528639 | 1384644761 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | epatti0914: TIFU by NOT telling her the surprise.
**TL;DR:** Girlfriend of a year broke up with me after heated argument because I wouldn't tell her a surprise.
Okay, just for starters and for my spitefulness, the surprise was I was going to be taking my girlfriend of almost a year to the beach for a picnic that I was... | 5 | 17 | |
1384508957 | 1384534979 | null | t5_2to41 | 177 | daniellemx: TIFU by buying a TV at a garage sale.
My county has a garage sale website where people sell all kinds of things. Today while I was browsing I came across a beautiful new 50 inch HDTV for only $350. I thought it was my lucky day, I've been looking for a bigger TV for a while, and that's so cheap! I get in co... | 8 | 22.125 | |
1384539830 | 1384671639 | null | t5_2to41 | 505 | SkyWulf: TIFU by threatening to beat someone up with a stop sign I pulled out of the ground.
So, long story short, these bunch of crazy assholes at my college start following me after class. Whispering to each other, staring at me, basically making me feel nervous as fuck. Naturally, I assume they're going to try to ro... | 8 | 63.125 | |
1384542870 | 1384633550 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | Rikkushin: TIFU by eating half of a Baumkuchen with dehumidifying powder
It was around midnight, and I was out on the streets hanging with my friends, when I started feeling hungry, so I went to a nearby 7-eleven to buy a Baumkuchen.
Now, these Baumkuchens come with a little package, which I thought was sugar. Half wa... | 6 | 9.833333 | |
1384542826 | 1384566652 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | feather0306: TIFU By (trying) to dogde a snot shower. This actually happened last night.
So, my friend (F 19) came over last night and we were hanging out in my room, just finished The Heat (movie is HILARIOUS, IMO) and she was standing on my bed, grabbing my bong (bout to have a smoke sesh) and I'm sitting down waitng... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1384542175 | 1384587527 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Todayisthewprst: TIFU by losing a flash drive at school
Guess what was on it.
lucidviolet: Not only of you had porn on it, but if there were other documents identifying you as the owner.
Todayisthewprst: I'm 97% sure there wasn't.
Or it would take a ton of work just to find an alternate email of mine, or something... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1384545946 | 1384553813 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | laxerado1313: TIFU by not checking the garbage disposal before running it.
Just trying to clean some dishes and have some nasty that needs to be ground up. flick the switch and hear the worst worst i've ever heard come out of a garbage disposal before. I immediately turn it off to investigate. reach in and find out tha... | 3 | 18 | |
1384551937 | 1384634522 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,275 | Draygn: TIFU by telling an Indian bloke I love him.
So I went to pick up a curry from my favourite Indian takeway this evening.
"That'll be £10 mate"
I give him 11.
"Have a good night pal"
"You too!"
"Bye!"
"I love you."
God damn it. I can never go back there.
whelp_welp: Maybe it's different in Europe, but here... | 9 | 141.666667 | |
1384538196 | 1384565185 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting kinky
It was actually last night, but here's the story:
So I'm a gay male, I've been casually seeing this guy for a few months now, mostly a friends with benefits situation. Anyways, we've experimented with kink together and always had a fun time. Last night he came over and we got to it, he... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1384556280 | 1384956697 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Darc1999: TIFU by running into a door
The nearest phone is a few rooms away so I have to run to get it before whoever is calling hangs up (I probably should keep one with me). The phone starts ringing so I get up and start running. It's important to know that it was a very windy day and all the windows were open. So a ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1384568482 | 1384620101 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | kayserasarah: TIFU by forgetting I had bananas in my kitchen.
I should say, "A month ago, I fucked up by forgetting I had bananas..." Now, before you think I'm just a pig, I have a decent sized kitchen, with hardly any cabinets, so I have a big metal shelving unit in the corner, that has boxed appliances and dishes sta... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1384568965 | 1384750235 | null | t5_2to41 | 76 | bazooper: TIFU by syncing my dad's iPhone to help him out.
My dad was in an accident recently and he hasn't had a decent laptop in a while. I decided to put his music on a laptop I wasn't using so I decided to sync his phone to add the music to the iTunes library. You know how when your iPhone is plugged into a compute... | 5 | 15.2 | |
1384574083 | 1384634354 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | diosmioman: TIFU: gave my eyeball a chemical burn.
Last night I was extra, extra tired and I filled my contact case with the cleaning solution instead of the rinsing/storage solution. This morning I put in my right lens and experienced the most intense burning sensation I have ever felt. First time, and last time, I wi... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1384588184 | 1385161175 | null | t5_2to41 | 283 | poopypoopypoopypoopy: TIFU by taking a shot of vodka with my anus
^^There ^^will ^^be ^^a ^^TLDR ^^at ^^the ^^bottom ^^^^teehee
I love my ass. It's a ton of fun to play with. You put things in, you take things out, this makes your 'me' time is so much better. As a guy, it's the only way to get in touch with your inner... | 7 | 40.428571 | |
1384582904 | 1384665658 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | NietzscheSolo: TIFU By Sleepwalking While Drunk
So regularly after work, I have some drinks. It's a normal occurrence for me to do and I'll admit I overdo it sometimes and wind up having a blackout. Today though was something that I'm both completely embarrassed about, and slightly fearful of. I was told that after ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1384621374 | 1384798476 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | asdfasddfd: TIFU by getting caught giving myself prostate stimulation
It was actually like two weeks ago. I'm in a fraternity, and I am now going to transfer schools because of this incident. I can never tell my parents what really happened and hopefully they will never find out.
Bob_Labla: Fuck frats. I would never g... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1384581472 | 1384663674 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | saybackp4ck: TIFU by losing my phone.
So today I had to go to my former school to request transcripts of my grades. So I wake up and get my shit ready, I plug in my iphone into the living room speakers and listen to some songs while I go take a shower. I get out the shower and get dressed up leave home. This is were I ... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1384631392 | 1384853237 | null | t5_2to41 | 817 | MSciCSI: TIFU by being nice to my car
So today I was in Costco buying supplies for a family party I was to attend later in the day. I passed by the tyre section of the shop and noticed a beautifully presented case of windscreen wipers. They were good quality ones, Bridgestone, compared to the worn 'imported' eBay ones ... | 12 | 68.083333 | |
1384639262 | 1384651607 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | MrMaxMax: TIFU by asking my girlfriend for a BJ.
Asked if she could give me a BJ with her butt. Didn't know she was on the phone with her mom. Currently single. Yay!
whelp_welp: She broke up with you for that? Damn.
MrMaxMax: Yeah, I think it was her way of justifying it to her mom, even though it was clearly a joke on... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1384639568 | 1385461043 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | tapittuco: TIFU by having drunk sex.
I know, you've never heard that before...Anyway, it was last night, my wife got a promotion and we decided, "Friday night, why not get drunk?". So that was the case.
I think it was about 1 A.M. (maybe 1:30 ish A.M.), and we stumble up the stairs to our new apartment, first thing I ... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1384644492 | 1384767815 | null | t5_2to41 | 114 | [deleted]: TIFU by sharting on myself in starbucks after starting my period
TheENdIsNear
poohspiglet: A couple things. First, if you're bleeding between periods, that could be the sign of an illness down there. You might want to get yourself checked out. Second, next time just pretend to spill your coffee and voila,... | 4 | 28.5 | |
1384645783 | 1384741018 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,625 | gozenurhole: TIFU By thinking my boyfriend was proposing to me.
So my boyfriend and I are getting ready to lay down and he tells me to make the bed. (Because I move around a lot in my sleep and mess up the bedding.) The lights are already off and I go to make the bed. As I am moving the covers around, I notice what loo... | 9 | 180.555556 | |
1384653751 | 1384970834 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | emopanda18: TIFU by trying to zip my boyfriend's penis.
I will preface this by saying that I currently live with other people. And we were in the living room.
Today my boyfriend came over to hang out and watch TV. Nothing out of the ordinary until things start to get heated. Eventually I decide that I want to give a ... | 3 | 14.333333 | |
1384660484 | 1384750037 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | ScorpioEverlast: TIFU by making change for a FAKE $50 @ the local mall. Still won!
So, there I was just sitting on a bench at my local mall minding my own business. Partaking in one of my favorite hobbies of people-watching.
about 10 minutes in a black prob 17-20 y/o set down not next to me but within conversational di... | 5 | 14.2 | |
1384676204 | 1384714232 | null | t5_2to41 | 88 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting nostalgic while searching for a picture of my butt
Earlier today I was feeling an abnormal amount of foine ^^^^(fineasfuck) so I decided to take a few high quality, classy ass photos. I guess I could probably refer to them as what they truly were, sexting pics. Pictures to be made use of on a... | 3 | 29.333333 | |
1384687966 | 1384723457 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | grubas: TIFU by having a pint
Been getting treated for IBS and GERD since it went insane recently. My doctor put me on new meds, I had one pint of cider and have spent the entire night shitting my brains out and nauseated to the point where I can't sleep. When I sit up I dry heave, when I poop I dry heave. I am havi... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1384699449 | 1384731084 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | anus_ice_cream: TIFU and missed a chance to have sex with the girl I was seeing.
So this wasn't actually today but about a month ago. I was talking to this girl and we agreed to go to homecoming together. We were getting along well and things were going nicely and I was excited about going with her. She's very attracti... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1384712022 | 1385369309 | null | t5_2to41 | 360 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving porn open on my pc
Not a big problem right, it is when your mom sees it and I was downstairs. So I got a message on whatsapp: "Do you watch often porn?" from her. I am freaking out right now, no idea what to send back or say. We just ate and it was uncomfortable.
Suggestions are appreciated.... | 5 | 72 | |
1384706515 | 1384756736 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | BurpleNurple: TIFU by laughing at a WWI powerpoint.
Okay, this was actually last week. But I was too busy fucking up other things to put my initial fuck-up into words.
It was Veterans Day at my school. Each year, we celebrate by inviting any parents/grandparents/great-grandparents/you-get-the-point to come to the cere... | 4 | 17 | |
1384672721 | 1384735067 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | blackcoffeecyclist: TIFU by getting into a fender bender.
1. Be a valet.
2. Reverse into another car.
(1st ever offense-very minor damage)
3. Boss's boss angry over recent influx of wrecks.
4. Job is on the line.
(According to my boss I'll probably lose it.)
BEST PART
Getting married in 53 days and my fiance and I... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1384715119 | 1384747249 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,781 | banginchoonz: TIFU By touching my friend's boob after she grabbed my crotch.
Context: she and I have a weird friendship where we exchange filthy innuendos and whatnot all the time.
We were at a nightclub last night. She walked up behind me and grabbed my crotch. I don't mean a light squeeze, she full-on went in there.... | 13 | 137 | |
1384715489 | 1384765908 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | frenzix: TIFU By having first time Anal with my wife and breaking her bits. NSFW
We were both into it and have never gone this far. She was guiding the ship in the night and decided it was going to port south. Me being the romantic went along for the journey, always up for a new experience. Well it was right in there a... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1384715350 | 1384732430 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by shagging a random girl without realising she'll start working the same place I do next week...
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
[deleted]: Doesn't matter; had sex.
Omgcorgitracks: Someone down voted you because they didn't get the reference :( and if you're reading this now and still don't go up look... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1384727512 | 1384749057 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by cockblocking my friend
So this happened yesterday not today.
I went to a party with some friends from my old school to catch and there i see one of my old friends- talking to a girl (who had just moved into my former school) so i walk up to them
and talk to them for like half an hour before making ... | 4 | 2 | |
1384732198 | 1384776605 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | FailedFenceJumper: TIFU and tried to jump a fence
So, I was walking home from work today. The gate around my apartment complex was broken because some dumbass wrecked into it, and I really didn't want to miss my show, so I decided to climb on a nearby dumpster and jump the fence. Smart, I know.
Somehow, the fence hook... | 4 | 26 | |
1384736732 | 1384834142 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | Addrian: TIFU by standing in a bonfire on a dare
Cute girl told me it would be badass if I stood in the fire, I'd had a few beers and was feeling invincible an lo' and behold, I am. but the dare was for 30 seconds and before I knew it she'd left. I'm still fire proof. But I never even got her name.
lostdeceiver: Sounds... | 8 | 4.25 | |
1384737623 | 1385348262 | null | t5_2to41 | 105 | drtygrl: TIFU Sexy Times **(NSFW)**
So, let me just preface this by saying, I'm fine this happens occasionally.
I woke up this morning around 8am, my hubs had said last night he wanted to sleep in this morning so he could stay up later tonight to watch football (Go Chiefs!) so I let him rest while I laid in bed finish... | 4 | 26.25 | |
1384742512 | 1384799636 | null | t5_2to41 | 188 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling my girlfriend the wrong name in bed.
I have been dating my girlfriend for over two years. We have a very close group of friends, and she has always been jealous of one other girl (we'll call her Katie). There have been several episodes, usually while drunk, where she breaks down because she t... | 4 | 47 |
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