start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1340665259 | 1340915276 | t3_vlja2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Hmpsndmps: TIFU: Backed out of the driveway and grazed my dad's car. Grazed it hard enough to crush something, rendering the driver's side door immovable.
So now we're looking at a potential $1,300 repair. Any advice? I'm already thinking of a budget for my sophomore year at college, and now I have to factor this in, w... | 4 | 2 | |
1340693957 | 1340797627 | t3_vmabz | t5_2to41 | 57 | jaredpaik: TIFU by dropping my backpack
And smashing a $150 bottle of DKNY cologne that was sitting in the bottom of my bag, now my house smells like cologne and I have a rent inspection on Thursday.
Kancho_Ninja: Rent inspector?
The last time I saw one of those I was in the UK 30 years ago. They're still around?
jar... | 10 | 5.7 | |
1340728784 | 1340916035 | t3_vmwnk | t5_2to41 | 203 | Melforprezzz: TIFU got a splinter in my throat
So earlier I was eating a Popsicle, thinking nothing of it. I finished my popsicle and decide it would be a good idea to chew up the wooden stick it came on. After a few minutes of this, I realize I feel something in the back of my throat. I try coughing and what not, to n... | 9 | 22.555556 | |
1340730643 | 1340734918 | t3_vmyl8 | t5_2to41 | 36 | king_samwich: TIFU by burning my foot on a toy scooter...
I was rolling down a cement driveway really fast on the scooter (in bare feet) and I pushed down hard on the brake at the back. Instant skin melting, you can see the pattern of the brake embedded into the blister lol :/
[The burn](http://imgur.com/wwdGe) and [A... | 3 | 12 | |
1340731323 | 1340740978 | t3_vmzbr | t5_2to41 | 85 | [deleted]: According to my Mother and Sister, TIFU.
PrognosisWafflecone: Fuck 'em! But you didn't really fuck up. Also horses are dope.
KaitKindly: That's what my grandma told me now that I am back at the house; also made the discovery my best friend is off work and can go riding later. :) So today is getting bette... | 5 | 17 | |
1340740734 | 1340742128 | t3_vn9uy | t5_2to41 | 20 | mymomsgonnakillme: TIFU im pretty sure that I formatted the memory card that has me and my twin sisters high school graduation pictures.
My girlfriend took all the pictures of me and my sister at graduation, and afterwards gave me the memory card. Fast forward about a month, me being a typical guy hasnt done anythi... | 5 | 4 | |
1340546171 | 1340820411 | t3_vivmh | t5_2to41 | 6 | Aldairion: TIFU: Got my very first sunburn. They kinda suck.
I guess it was technically yesterday that I fucked up, but my back still kills. I'm 24 and I've never gotten sunburnt before. I'm of Indian descent and I always thought I was immune to that sort of thing, and I'd actually get pretty smug around my friends whe... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1340759601 | 1340834419 | t3_vnsuy | t5_2to41 | 23 | redstonenico: TIFU by writing my name in wet cement and having an old man get out of his car stoping traffic to tell at me and threatening to the call the cops while telling me to "get the mother fucking name out with my fucking finger, mother fucker
I was walking down the street and saw some wet cement (insert title h... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1340762233 | 1341916180 | t3_vnve0 | t5_2to41 | 108 | Peacockblue11: TIFU - I read this postsecret card, then kissed my boyfriend. Now he thinks he has a small dick.
I was on Postsecret and read [this](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4nYxqIWiWe0/T-YszeBcIkI/AAAAAAAATlg/rBUPwMnTOzw/s400/perfect.jpg) post card. It was so cute, I leaned over to my boyfriend and gave him a peck. ... | 7 | 15.428571 | |
1340774932 | 1340829379 | t3_vo75u | t5_2to41 | 265 | 8_bit_hero: TIFU by stopping at the side of the road for an emergency shit and almost getting arrested
Today was a friends' birthday, so my wife and I drove the 25 minutes into town to hang out with her. We got dinner, went to a bar, bought some books, and had a generally good day before going back to the friends' hous... | 8 | 33.125 | |
1340779371 | 1340802057 | t3_voa75 | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: accidentally group texted my friends and boss in the same text. Friends replied with obscenities and asking when we were going to blaze it.
neanderthalman: I have never had group messaging replies come back as "reply all".
This an android thing?
hgeyer99: I have a droid bionic and I get "Reply all" all the... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1340790346 | 1340810100 | t3_vofga | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU I tried to brush my teeth while the water in my condo was shut off for maintenance and it escalated quickly...
So while I'm brushing, I spilled mostly raw meat and eggs (from garbage can) onto the floor and slipped cleaning it up. I tried to mop up the mess with my dirty shirt and shorts to no avail. In... | 4 | 5 | |
1340817997 | 1340971018 | t3_vozuk | t5_2to41 | 257 | ClogIsMyMiddleName: TIFU by releasing an anaconda from my colon
Well, it was around midnight. I was just sitting alone in my living room, on my laptop, minding my own business, just killing time. I suddenly felt that unmistakable urge to relieve some of the pressure on my bowels caused my the massive brown log trappe... | 10 | 25.7 | |
1340819105 | 1340932345 | t3_vp120 | t5_2to41 | 149 | [deleted]: TIFU: My boyfriend's mother saw me naked.
After sexytimes I wanted to grab a glass of water for us. I didn't know she was home so I just opened the door in my naked blazing glory and she had just happened to wake up and was going downstairs at the same time. I stood there for a few seconds, pretty sure said,... | 7 | 21.285714 | |
1340796869 | 1340840720 | t3_voi9x | t5_2to41 | 4 | Atoris23: TIFU I showed a golf ball up may ass and I can't get it out.
I was feeling extra kinky today so while I was fapping I inserted a golf ball up my ass. After I was done I could not get it out. What should I do? Will laxitives get it out? (I'm way to embarrassed to visit a doctor because my mom works there)
TheC... | 4 | 1 | |
1340836894 | 1340867923 | t3_vpk0e | t5_2to41 | 179 | msager12: My sister saw me fucking my girlfriend on the family couch.
YoursTruly123: You couldn't have said you were making love. You had to say you were "fucking" her...
msager12: She agrees this was some loud hardcore banging that's why I laughed
tellingghosts83: She your girlfriend, or she your sister?
My_Cool_Nam... | 7 | 25.571429 | |
1340843933 | 1340933068 | t3_vpqs0 | t5_2to41 | 71 | Justsomerandomgirl: TIFU while browsing /r/atheism in public
My therapist took me and all of the other people in my therapy group to play basketball so I sat on the side browsing reddit the whole time. I was showing my therapist some of the posts on reddit. I came across a post about Islam and I saw a picture of a nine... | 6 | 11.833333 | |
1340853300 | 1341113197 | t3_vpzv0 | t5_2to41 | 65 | Rauldisco: TIFU by giving away free xbox live for a year.
TIFU. It all began when I was playing some Halo on the Xbox 360 when I got a message to all friends and recent players form a guy in my friends list. He said in the voice message that his Xbox live membership had run out completely and he was wondering if anybod... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1340859500 | 1340991363 | t3_vq5iz | t5_2to41 | 311 | TheSoundofStars: (T)IFU by running a chipmunk over with my lawnmower, trying to bury it, and end up getting bit.
The (T) is there because this happened a couple years ago. I was mowing the front yard (we have a lot of land, almost 3 acres total), and I was maneuvering around some baby evergreens, when suddenly a little... | 8 | 38.875 | |
1340864679 | 1340880731 | t3_vq9ho | t5_2to41 | 60 | nixygirl: TIFU: Literally threw up on myself/keyboard after reading a comment about dog poo in r/bestof
[Here is the comment.](http://www.reddit.com/r/offbeat/comments/vorr3/this_guy_needs_a_snowblower_it_does_not_need_to/c56e1hu)
It's not even that bad, but my BF started talking about dog's eating poo and how a kitt... | 5 | 12 | |
1340908403 | 1341072591 | t3_vr4rb | t5_2to41 | 3 | sadi89: TIFU I had spelling errors on my resume
I just got out of college and am looking for work. Today while applying for a job I saw I had wrote that I "Greeted costumers" instead of "Greeted customers".
I am dyslexic so I tend to be really careful about getting others to proof read my stuff, but no one picked up o... | 3 | 1 | |
1340910081 | 1340979943 | t3_vr6km | t5_2to41 | 301 | koremanmusic: TIFU: I went to a networking event and ate raw oysters.
I attended a networking event with a local Japanese cultural group and made various good contacts. The smorgasboard had all sorts of great food including raw oysters-one of my favorites. However, these may not have been fresh enough as within moments... | 7 | 43 | |
1340980123 | 1341075913 | t3_vqy8f | t5_2to41 | 23 | dabisnit: I fucked up. Bad.
alsorobots: You just made a few mistakes. It's no big deal. Flowers die, but they're not pets, just decoration. Everyone screws up a job here and there. EVERYONE. Don't beat yourself up.
dabisnit: He's a family friend. The worst thing he can do is not pay me
Chainmail_Danno: If he's a ... | 9 | 2.555556 | |
1340931742 | 1341246313 | t3_vrsbb | t5_2to41 | 50 | nulnillnot: TIFU Got bit by a raccoon, now I have to have rabies shots for the next month
Saw a raccoon lying on the side of a busy freeway. Being the stupid helper I am, I thought if it was still alive I could take it to the local wildlife rehab. It ended up getting some life back into it after being seemingly almos... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1340937066 | 1342068492 | t3_vrxay | t5_2to41 | 13 | InMSWeAntitrust: TIFU: Nearly hit a lady in the eye with a straw
wrapper and almost got into a fight
So I went to dinner and after ordering and getting our drinks, I unwrapped an inch of my straw and shot the straw wrapper at my friend. The wrapper went wide, and arced right by a lady's face, then went past her and u... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1340942400 | 1340944046 | t3_vs274 | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU: Had sex with a girl I met off the street without a condom.
:(
Ow_you_shot_me: DM:HS
Also, go to a STD clinic, or whatever the hell they're called. Get a check up.
pat52210: Plan on it. ASAP.
| 3 | 8 | |
1340942863 | 1340951488 | t3_vs2md | t5_2to41 | 27 | Rawlz: TIFU: Sent a mocking text about a coworker to our office's group chat
So, I was trying to message a fellow coworker about something our resident weirdo at work said to me. Maybe you guys can help me calm down or help me realize how much trouble I might be in. Here's the text I accidentally sent to everyone:
"... | 3 | 9 | |
1340982043 | 1340997019 | t3_vspm7 | t5_2to41 | 28 | TIFUThrowaway: TIFU: I served bad raw oysters at a networking event, and made many people sick.
I am a chef, and I was hired to make raw oysters among other foods to serve at a networking event. I heard the story about the person that got sick, and I just wanted to say sorry. After the event, and, as I saw, multiple pe... | 8 | 3.5 | |
1340983121 | 1340989406 | t3_vsqkc | t5_2to41 | 7 | PaddyIreland: TIFU: I made a little girl cry her eyes out
I was working as a volunteer at a local Vacation Bible School and the theme was pirates and on said day of fucking up, we were having an obstacle course for the kids in which we shot them with squirt guns. Before the fuck up, the little girl had walked through t... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1341004242 | 1341048755 | t3_vtbav | t5_2to41 | 257 | lewillman: TIFU--When introducing my boss at a big meeting.
My boss isn't the most likeable person, and because of her last name sounding like A-hole, she has gained that as an office nickname. Today we had a meeting with the big bosses, investors, and clients. I was given the honor of introducing my boss, and I stoo... | 10 | 25.7 | |
1341022927 | 1341080729 | t3_vtqtw | t5_2to41 | 406 | BrownGirlLover: TIFU- I don't know what one of my student's gender is.
I called this kid- with completely androgynous looks and name- "ma'am" when he/she raised his/her hand in class. The student ran out of the room crying, while all the other kids were laughing their fucking heads off. I guess this kid is male judging... | 9 | 45.111111 | |
1341023368 | 1341024157 | t3_vtr7d | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU: Uploaded a torrent for a couple friends, now more people have it. [Possible NSFW]
Some friends and I were having a conversation about porn. Eventually they asked for my collection. So we tried file sharing sites, Mediafire, 4shared... etc. So I turned to ThePirateBay. I could easily make a torrent, sen... | 4 | 1 | |
1341035309 | 1341072156 | t3_vtyby | t5_2to41 | 40 | spiceXisXnice: TIFU: Actually, last night. I was the drunk, throwing-up girl at the party.
Full story:
I got together with a group of friends last night for dinner and drinks. It was a wonderful night, with much drunken revelry, until around midnight. We all got drunk fairly early, so when I threw up, everyone was dru... | 4 | 10 | |
1341068204 | 1341160492 | t3_vuche | t5_2to41 | 115 | justgesing: TIFU by pulling my girlfriend's nose piercing out during sex.
This was actually last night.. And the night had a few mo bumps than just that. I was out of condoms at that point, so on our way home went to pick up some more. Stupid me decided to try out a new kind (Trojan). So we get home, start getting into... | 11 | 10.454545 | |
1341039119 | 1341088275 | t3_vu0fj | t5_2to41 | 23 | parasiticfiend: TIFU: I did a bad after handling and eating home made jalapeno poppers...
So I was getting intimate with my SO many hours after having some delicious (but spicy) home made jalapeno poppers... Yeah... I guess I should probably have washed my hands somewhere between then and this particular time. ): Needl... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1341071700 | 1341168872 | t3_vuemx | t5_2to41 | 34 | theminimosher: TIFU by getting paraletic and defecating on a friends floor.
Now this was two months or so ago but it only just dawned on me to post this here, hopefully the comments will make me feel better about the whole ordeal ;D
So during the day, me and a few friends had a history revision class during the holida... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1341087403 | 1341167226 | t3_vuqjn | t5_2to41 | 21 | ryanlynds: TIFU - let the dog and cat escape.
First day feeding a friend's animals, both escape. Drove around the neighbourhood 3 times already. I was supposed to be here for 20 minutes, tops, now it's been 2.5 hours and no progress.
CBod: Ouch that's pretty harsh. Hope the dog gets back too.
ryanlynds: after 7 hours... | 3 | 7 | |
1341094905 | 1341126511 | t3_vuwg5 | t5_2to41 | 476 | hilerfleshlight: TIFU by walking outside topless
My husband is a Marine, currently deployed to Afghanistan, and we live on base (very close neighbors on each side). I'm getting pretty used to living like a foul bachelor, usually not putting pants on until around noonish. Or wearing pants and not putting a shirt on unt... | 12 | 39.666667 | |
1341119347 | 1341157838 | t3_vv9sr | t5_2to41 | 8 | Gunski: TIFU: I didn't kill a spider fast enough. It's in my room somewhere.
TheFoxGoesMoo: Hairspray. Keep it at the ready.
Gunski: What does that do exactly?
TheFoxGoesMoo: When you see it again, you can spray it to death. Pretty effective actually. I'm terrified of the little buggers so I spray them to death from ... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1341156188 | 1341256547 | t3_vveba | t5_2to41 | 27 | The_One_Who_Crafts: IM WITH YOU BUDDY DON'T WORRY IF WE'RE GONNA DIE WE DIE TOGETHER
*sobs*
Renardthefox: I'LL MISS YOU AND YOUR MOMS COOKING SKILLS DAMN THOSE MONSTERS
The_One_Who_Crafts: *sob* I ALWAYS SECRETLY LIKED YOUR SISTER I JUST THOUGHT ID LET YOU KNOW
Renardthefox: NOOOO! I LOVED YOU YOU CRAFTED A DOOR INT... | 13 | 2.076923 | |
1341135170 | 1341136788 | t3_vvhcn | t5_2to41 | 46 | reltubnahte: TIFU by accidentally dropping my dick mid-piss and pissing on my pants.
No one was around to see me with my piss-stained pants but I still felt like a complete retard. Earlier today I had pissed in a flavored milk bottle without putting my dick in it (not because I like to live life on the edge, but becaus... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1341155571 | 1341255773 | t3_vvpmr | t5_2to41 | 129 | Virtruvian: TIFU a friendship
so i went through a bad relationship a while ago and i drank away my sorrows and confided in a friend of mine. well, during this time, she came to like me...a lot...and i can't reciprocate. i don't want to be in a relationship. but a couple nights ago, i got really drunk and was alone and ... | 8 | 16.125 | |
1341132726 | 1341332934 | t3_vvghb | t5_2to41 | 20 | oldaccountwasmyname: TIFU while washing my clothes.
So last night I put all my t-shirts into 1 wash including a shirt from my work uniform. What I forgot is that I always keep a pen in the pocket of that shirt.
Queue this morning when I'm walking downstairs to pack my shirts to go on holidays (in 2 hours) and the pen... | 4 | 5 | |
1341184075 | 1341243476 | t3_vwbwu | t5_2to41 | 249 | Scarecrowe: TIFU by turning a close friend to hard drugs with my big mouth
This happened last night, and has been building up for months, but here goes. A close friend of mine, let's call him B, up until recently was with his poisonous, compulsive liar, bitch of a girlfriend who everyone in our group of friends passion... | 13 | 19.153846 | |
1341199545 | 1341225313 | t3_vwoi2 | t5_2to41 | 278 | canipaybycheck: 20,000!
Congratulations /r/tifu, we've reached 20,000 subscribers!
This is our friendly reminder to keep spreading the word about this sub. We've built a quality sub, and let's keep it growing.
Secondly, this is the friendly moderator team reaching out to you. Do you have any ideas for the bettermen... | 11 | 25.272727 | |
1341204349 | 1343431017 | t3_vwsm0 | t5_2to41 | 78 | cjpoop: TIFU, used baking cocoa to make chocolate milk
I woke up in the middle of the night and went to make some hot chocolate. Accidentally used baking cocoa. I almost woke up my family with my almost-throwing-up noises.
Ajishly: I always use baking cocoa for hot chocolate... you do have to add a smidge of sugar thou... | 6 | 13 | |
1341209632 | 1341286821 | t3_vwwav | t5_2to41 | 55 | gleenglass: TIFU: And accidentally stuck my fingers in my dog's butt and got poop juice on my hand.
My husband and I were walking our lab mix, Layla. She was pulling on the leash, which my husband was holding, to try to growl at/mess with another dog through a fence. I went to give her a Cesar Milan style "bite" with ... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1341223672 | 1341305510 | t3_vx2p1 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by reading up on a website called Conservapedia
Not sure if that's the actual title, but its a conservative wikipedia. The arguments presented and the biased format clearly drove me more to my liberal bisexual and atheistic ways
zazenbo: Not sure how you fucked up besides sounding like a pretentious li... | 3 | 1 | |
1341237702 | 1341260086 | t3_vx9lw | t5_2to41 | 178 | trouphaz: TIFU and dove headfirst into my kids' inflatable pool.
So, the fuck up wasn't actually today. I fucked up a couple of weeks ago when I removed a stone block from next to my patio leaving a hole in the ground so I could mow without hitting the block. Early this morning (right after midnight), I remembered to... | 7 | 25.428571 | |
1341249231 | 1341262817 | t3_vxjx2 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Makave22: tifu sending a text message trying to be funny to a girl who I like
I had been talking to this one girl for about a month now who I really like and today I sent her a text message this morning saying this after not talking to her for the whole day yesterday.
"I couldn't sleep either baby, I wanted to call yo... | 7 | 5.142857 | |
1341265185 | 1341266019 | t3_vy1bd | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: Tifu: by breaking an $5,000-$10,000 piece of equipment (pic proof)
I was using a clamp truck at work while a coworker was following along to pick up anything I dropped. After I stacked enough fright on a particular pallet I went to pick it up with my clamp, the whole front assembly lurched forward and luckil... | 3 | 7 | |
1341263417 | 1341522083 | t3_vxzem | t5_2to41 | 37 | idalulz: TIFU: Saying the word "whore" over and over in my head with my boss present and accidently let it slip out loud.
For clearifying, I use the word whore for everything. And I often say that instead of other swearwords, because I feel like I'm getting so much more rage expressed with it.
e: my boss is female an... | 7 | 5.285714 | |
1341278144 | 1341356134 | t3_vyduc | t5_2to41 | 311 | mmm_leftboob: TIFU and walked more than 100 yards away from my home. So I shat myself.
In the 33 years since I stopped wearing diapers, I have experienced this feeling 4 times. It's a sudden but moderate pain in the intestinal area accompanied by the distinctive gurgling of loose matter through the *demesnes that th... | 10 | 31.1 | |
1341286007 | 1341286861 | t3_vylap | t5_2to41 | 18 | SuperBicycleTony: TIFU by unknowingly washing my entire wardrobe with a piece of insulation.
Pirate_steve: shit is so itchy, so god dang itchy
SuperBicycleTony: You don't have to tell me. I had to sit through a 3 hour lecture with it all over my body.
| 3 | 6 | |
1341290635 | 1341428949 | t3_vyplr | t5_2to41 | 19 | rbasov: TIFU by pushing my friend into the pool while she was holding her phone.
So, we were at the pool and my friend was just walking around, she looked too dry to me, and I acted upon what all my friends were thinking. I pushed her in. When she rose from the depths of the abyss she had a pissed off look on her face... | 9 | 2.111111 | |
1341274180 | 1341329515 | t3_vya67 | t5_2to41 | 61 | Catters: TIFU and gave someone my dad's number.
My dad pretty much never uses his phone, unless he's communicating with people in his family.
My number and my dad's number are a mere two digits apart.
Apparently he's gotten some "weirdly suggestive" texts recently. I think this very nearly correlates with a recent ... | 3 | 20.333333 | |
1341325390 | 1341516636 | t3_vz9el | t5_2to41 | 38 | EtherBoo: TIFU and pissed all over my bathroom floor.
I live in a 2/2 with my wife. Our second bedroom is used as our office and holds our computer desk and accompanying computers. We were chatting and I went to the bathroom right outside the office and turned my head to reply to her continuing our conversation.
I... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1341368370 | 1341403724 | t3_vzuk5 | t5_2to41 | 109 | darkmdbeener: What does this mean.. fuck the future you?
Muund: FTFY = Fixed that for you
darthelmo: Alternate usage: Fuck that; fuck you.
Trigamma: New alternate usage: Fuck the future you.
darthelmo: I like it, but I think it might be difficult to work into conversation.
Trigamma: I agree. But I think we can make i... | 15 | 7.266667 | |
1341347249 | 1341501817 | t3_vzvr4 | t5_2to41 | 352 | baileykm: TIFU and told my neighbor I would eat her ass
We were pretty drunk and having a party of 8 or so over and we were looking for food in the fridge. She bent over and with her nice butt I stared while talking. So I went from I would eat (food) and turned it into ass when I saw her ass. Her boyfriend was not happ... | 12 | 29.333333 | |
1341378058 | 1341429669 | t3_w0n9d | t5_2to41 | 532 | [deleted]: TIFU and blew up a bomb in my parents kitchen
Today, the day before the Fourth of July, I woke up and decided that I should have something similar to a firework for my family tomorrow. Fireworks are illegal in my city because of all the wildfires (I live in Colorado), so I had to be a little creative.
"I kn... | 11 | 48.363636 | |
1341394317 | 1341398448 | t3_w0x5y | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a bird into my neighbors living room
My neighbors had gone on holiday leaving me in charge of there cat. I went round there one day and got a little curious and looked around a bit. I looked around for a while and decided to check in a cupboard thing in front of the fireplace.
I must have ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1341404060 | 1341427884 | t3_w11bg | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally spilling water over my trousers and walking through a populated town looking like I had wet myself.
It all started when I entered a Coffee shop with my gran to have lunch.
We were waiting for our food to be served but we managed to get our drinks first. She had a glass full of water and... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1341421059 | 1341428304 | t3_w1d7a | t5_2to41 | 6 | MagicalWizard123: by putting a rubber pig in the oven and forgetting about it.
My sister and I were home after school and we were just chilling. I found this rubber pig and, with all intentions of taking it out, placed it in the oven as a joke....and then I completely forgot about it. My mom gets home and pre-heats the... | 3 | 2 | |
1341419065 | 1341788659 | t3_w1bhg | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU my first kiss and probably my relationship.
Well, I know this is pretty ordinary but I had to tell you guys because I feel like a total asshole. This isn't my first kiss ever, but it's my first kiss with my girlfriend. It's her first kiss ever though. So I was surrounded by all her friend,s telling us t... | 6 | 4.333333 | |
1341434557 | 1341473562 | t3_w1p02 | t5_2to41 | 294 | axelblaise: TIFU by wearing a weed bracelet to my job interview
my step sister bought me a bracelet that said legalize it with a bunch of weed plants drawn on it and i forgot to take it off i realized i had it on when the manager kept staring at my hand
tronncat: Im convinced that the majority of people that wear thes... | 8 | 36.75 | |
1341404394 | 1341485066 | t3_w11h5 | t5_2to41 | 23 | andy_78: TIFU by thinking I could play basketball again.
Today I decided to go to one of the recreational centers her in my city and well play basketball. I hadn't played in over a year because I had torn my ACL about a year and 8 months ago and well I had surgery a year ago. Everything was going great till we decided ... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1341491436 | 1341492895 | t3_w2oe2 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by my dad thought letting me drive him home was a good idea.
First some story. I'm 14 and my father is 46. On he 4th he decided to tap into the good old beer case and was soon out of his wits. He was smart enough to know not to drive, but he instead wanted me to drive. I was thought he was joking until ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1341491549 | 1341495051 | t3_w2ogg | t5_2to41 | 28 | lionsrawesome: TIFU: Flooding the whole house on vacation
I was at Hawiaii (I have no idea how to spell it) and I arrived at the hotel where my family/friends were staying for one week. Now in the title it says I flooded the whole house which I did in one stupid move,
I was plunging the toilet, because my uncle can cl... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1341497679 | 1341507428 | t3_w2sbz | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIAFU: Sent some female anatomy to my embryology professor (NSFW link in text)
microhamster: If the un-send ever fails you can try using my [patented anti-reading email technique](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tqk4m/tifu_emailed_a_porn_link_to_my_professor/c4ovl6j)
Coldhardt: Whoa, dude, that's bril... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1341496045 | 1341529282 | t3_w2r4h | t5_2to41 | 932 | [deleted]: TIFU request: Guy in San Diego who launched 20 minutes worth of fireworks all at once
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/07/san-diego-fireworks-all-explode-at-the-same-time/1#.T_WalLrHaNM
Tarkaan: Those displays are many tens of thousands of dollars, hundreds if you count the insura... | 6 | 155.333333 | |
1341521172 | 1341650012 | t3_w3ehm | t5_2to41 | 8 | LucasJims: TIFU: I didn't ask a girl for her number
Hey,
So I was at a Jack White concert on Tuesday in Paris with my dad. We both love him. It was bloody brilliant. Anyways, I'm at this concert, and there's this girl next to me, and she's absolutely losing it. She cannot keep her shit cool. She keeps screaming as lou... | 4 | 2 | |
1341536116 | 1341775232 | t3_w3so2 | t5_2to41 | 79 | WoozyJoe: TIFU: Rubbed bleach all over my mom's brand new leather furniture.
My mom had me and my brothers cleaning the house. She was in the kitchen and we were taking care of the living room. Mom asks me to wipe down the brand spanking new all black, leather, wrap-around, expensive as hell couch. She told me to just ... | 6 | 13.166667 | |
1341539567 | 1342084512 | t3_w3vq0 | t5_2to41 | 23 | UsedToBeAUnicorn: TIFU by eating bananas not fit for human consumption
I some how managed to get bananas that were either past their expiration date or had been exposed to something. They seemed normal until I went to eat them for lunch at work. When I tried to peel one the top just sort of fell off. I didn't think any... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1341554787 | 1341749800 | t3_w48zc | t5_2to41 | 359 | orphdurph: TIFU by pepper-spraying my suicidal ex-girlfriend
So today I tried to prevent my hysterical, suicidally depressed ex-girlfriend from running into oncoming traffic by pepper-spraying her. According to the police officers who arrived, the only time it is appropriate to use pepper spray is on someone that is a ... | 19 | 18.894737 | |
1341561980 | 1341591366 | t3_w4d27 | t5_2to41 | 58 | Kmodek: TIFU: Called my crush a Roly-Poly AND flashed him & his daughter boob when my swimsuit fell down.
Long story, but I totally didn't mean he LOOKS like a Roly-Poly, but it just came out in a split-second blurb. What's worse is that he's really self conscious about his weight right now.
We were in the pool a... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1341596388 | 1342139535 | t3_w4z9t | t5_2to41 | 65 | NickWasHere09: TIFU: Boss didn't understand reddit and I got "fired"
So I had a required internship for my college major. It required 240 hours, which I finished last week, but I stayed on to finish several projects. My original end date was supposed to be next Friday. Well, today my boss surprised me and said I would ... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1341605147 | 1341610076 | t3_w58gb | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU: It's a rather shitty ordeal.
Okay so I'm out having a walk pondering the latest pitfalls of my life. when I realize that I have walked at least ten miles from my house my body decides the we are going to take a shit RIGHT NOW. I then manage to hold it in most of the way home when I find myself standing... | 3 | 21.666667 | |
1341606605 | 1341614426 | t3_w59z3 | t5_2to41 | 151 | StormySan: TIFU by losing control of a motorbike
So I've wanted to learn how to ride a motorbike for years, but it's one of those things I've inadvertantly put off for one reason or another.
This month, I finally got around to booking my learner test! (CBT in the UK (Compulsory Basic training before you think of the d... | 5 | 30.2 | |
1341638347 | 1341671424 | t3_w610d | t5_2to41 | 919 | FUS_RO_yay: TIFU: Got jizz in my nose
Earlier today I was hanging out at my boyfriend's house. We were there alone, everyone had gone to movie. My boyfriend had told me he was going to take a leak about an hour earlier, so I'd gotten out his laptop to lurk on Reddit. I started to get a bit concerned and wondering what ... | 8 | 114.875 | |
1341370770 | 1341804954 | t3_w0hb0 | t5_2to41 | 7 | freshtweak: TIFU - Lost my wallet, but where?
Long story short, went to mates house to help him move. We got a tad hungry, so I offered to go and buy pizza for us both, went to get the pizza and came straight back. Bout an hour later realised I had lost my wallet not in the house because we had actually started moving... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1341649059 | 1341678044 | t3_w672g | t5_2to41 | -4 | OpusMioda: TIFU by getting arrested for harassment I don't remember.. then I had to work for 8 hours after release
So, I was out drinking last night and was having a few after work drinks by myself. The next thing I remember was coming to in a holding cell, scared, and hungover like no other. I then had to go right to ... | 3 | -1.333333 | |
1341660698 | 1341684602 | t3_w6b1t | t5_2to41 | 67 | MaartBox: TIFU by playing the sounds of orgasm to a hall full of children.
I volunteer at a local drama/theater group. It's nothing big, I just supervise and help with sets. Today the kids (ages range from 6-18) were practicing a dance routine to go with the musical we're doing. I had no part in this, and opted to list... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1341681434 | 1341835073 | t3_w6mxg | t5_2to41 | 74 | mj123: TIFU by hitting my little brother in the testicles with a toy car.
We were putting away his hot wheels and apparently he launched one across the house, about fifteen feet from where we were playing. I got up and went to grab the car, mind you, these are hot wheels and it was a heavier one, and I threw it to him... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1341688052 | 1341759651 | t3_w6sdy | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU a potentially phenomenal relationship
Long story short: he's the tattoo apprentice. I'm the body piercer. Dating is not allowed. But we are stupidly attracted to each other and have been secretly hanging out.
Today I am already very emotional due to being a lady and having woman troubles, and he says, ... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1341694043 | 1341740385 | t3_w6xho | t5_2to41 | 17 | bigdumbdrunkidiot: TIFU- Got pulled over for a DUI
Dear Reddit,
Today (technically a few days ago... 4th of July) I got really drunk with my friends, and after napping for a few hours because I was so drunk I decided I was hungry. There's a McDonalds no more than a mile from my house and it's late enough at this point... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1341704608 | 1342069333 | t3_w76fw | t5_2to41 | 463 | ShirleyFunke482: TIFU by causing a huge delay in my surgery due to eating one m&m
I woke up early in the morning, the bag was on the counter and I ate one without thinking. Flash forward 3 hours, the anesthesiologist was about to put me under when my mom blurted out my mistake. He consulted the surgeon, and I was f... | 10 | 46.3 | |
1341478120 | 1341725797 | t3_w2irr | t5_2to41 | 14 | Kw1q51lv3r: TIFU by making fun of a friend's comment and going against her in a "debate" whilst she was in a bad mood
Okay... Not exactly today, as it was actually a few weeks ago, but I think the situation and the result still applies.
A friend of mine shared on facebook one of those copypasta medical info-graphs wit... | 9 | 1.555556 | |
1341735851 | 1341787371 | t3_w7rux | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to an underage party and getting my car smashed. Any advice (insurance-wise)?
I'm 20 years old, there was a big party at someone's house and a bunch of people went (Maybe 90 at peak hour). I'd say I didn't know about 1/3 of the guys. Somebody who I didn't know asked me to move my car (I was blo... | 3 | 2 | |
1341773114 | 1341857890 | t3_w8arz | t5_2to41 | 617 | axelblaise: TIFU by pushing my sister off my roof
my dad hurt his back this morning so i had to fix the chimney myself, half way through my sister came up with some Gatorade for me i took it and opened it and i saw my sister off balance at the edge of the ladder so i lunged over to grab her and ended up over jumping it... | 12 | 51.416667 | |
1341780508 | 1341796324 | t3_w8hdj | t5_2to41 | 36 | emerswag: TIFU by getting completely shitfaced and cussing out my friends
Alcohol has a history of doing great things for me (getting me girls), but I must've hit my limit because while I have little to no memory of it, I spent a 20 minute car ride cussing out two of my best friends (girls) while they were driving me h... | 4 | 9 | |
1341790230 | 1341799694 | t3_w8q8n | t5_2to41 | 102 | ChickenStrip23: TIFU by bleeding my heart out to my ex girlfriend on her facebook wall.
Well, we broke up nearly a month ago.She hardly talked to me anymore and although we were technically still friends she pretty much cut me off. It's been hard trying to get over her and everything but I was starting to move on and ... | 4 | 25.5 | |
1341792528 | 1341808970 | t3_w8sad | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU: A momentary brainfreeze brought down my constructed lie
So I'm getting ready to go on a backpacking trip, and I get to the local bus stop to take a bus to my friend's place from where we begin. I see this gorgeous girl there looking lost, and I try to act cool when she approaches me to ask if I know wh... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1341812167 | 1342242254 | t3_w9aci | t5_2to41 | 360 | cometpaste: TIFU by chopping habaneros and forgetting to wash my hands before i went piss.
Decided to make super spicy chicken wings that require habaneros, jalapenos and some thai chili peppers. So i proceeded to chop them and placed them aside while i prepared the chicken for frying. Few minutes later put the chicken... | 8 | 45 | |
1341815374 | 1341821885 | t3_w9cqb | t5_2to41 | 22 | Calduin: TIFU:Realized I wasn't over the only girl I've loved after seeing her again 6 weeks after we broke up, and then blowing up on her.
This didn't actually happen today, it was 2 weeks ago. I'm a graduate student conducting field research for my thesis in China, the time I have in China is around 1 year. I met my... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1341810206 | 1341892036 | t3_w98pz | t5_2to41 | 20 | WiceMan: TIFU:I broke many plates at work today
It wouldn't have sucked if it I didn't break them consecutively throughout the day as opposed to a 1 time thing.
KnightKrawler: First dropped plate: Nobody notices.
Second: One or two weird looks.
Third: Entire kitchen starts clapping.
WiceMan: First:few people who di... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1341848710 | 1343343675 | t3_w9vwg | t5_2to41 | 1,079 | MisterOdi: TIFU by shitting all over my legs, the toilet seat, and floor while my girlfriend was showering and puking from the smell
We had just come back from a late dinner. I had been slightly gassy all day, and the food wasn't sitting well. I told my gf that I needed to make poo, but she argued that she needed a qui... | 7 | 154.142857 | |
1341855245 | 1341941204 | t3_wa2pl | t5_2to41 | 176 | [deleted]: TIFU- Started working on my last will and testament on my lunch break, became a bumbling crying mess thinking out life without my wife.
I'm 28 and married. I have never had any kind of a will before and decided it was time to start one, so today on my lunch break I did just that. I was doing great, wasn't em... | 5 | 35.2 | |
1341863623 | 1341949035 | t3_wac39 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU By Browsing for a Blue Waffle on Google Images in front of my Teacher
Me and my friend were making up for late homework assignment before school, and we happened to be on the computer. He didn't know what a blue waffle was, and thought it was an ACTUAL blue waffle. He googled it on my computer, and prac... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1341869863 | 1341901771 | t3_waj5q | t5_2to41 | 28 | trout149: TIFU by drinking chip fat
I was eating tea with my family earlier when I decided to get a drink. Went into the kitchen and saw two half full bottles of coca cola. Or so I thought. I chose one at random and, thinking it might be flat, decided to try it. I took a huge drink from it before realising that it wasn... | 4 | 7 | |
1341868668 | 1342409221 | t3_wahsi | t5_2to41 | 7 | neurotictiger: TIFU by getting drunk, falling down, giving myself a concussion and a black eye, and knocking out two teeth
arthoushpongled: Context?
neurotictiger: Not much else to say. I don't drink much anymore, but I went pretty hard and drank steadily from 6pm to 2am. Fell outside the bar, knocked myself unconscio... | 6 | 1.166667 |
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