start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1388671985 | 1388674083 | t3_1u8ab4 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By trying to make a girl cheat on her BF
Well guys, I really fucked up. I was in my friends house celebrating new years and I though it would be a good idea to have a little flirt with this girl. The thing is I knew she had a boyfriend and that they were really happy together, but I being my retarded se... | 8 | 0.625 | |
1388673903 | 1388944104 | t3_1u8c86 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Vato_Loco: TIFU by telling the truth
This was actually New Year's Eve.
For a little context, I'm a regular at a bar near my house. I've made a lot of friends there with the regulars, the bartenders and the owner. I'm 23, but have always been mistaken for 5-10 years older by people I meet. People tell me it's a combina... | 7 | 2.142857 | |
1388780207 | 1388820529 | t3_1u8tbb | t5_2to41 | 3 | Cant_Translate_Shit: Well I'm not really sure. He did come here and post it for all to see after all. I think by the time he's crowned he will probably be over it.
Cheesewithmold: Be over it? He almost killed his friend. This isn't a potential end to a friendship, it's a potential end to a life. Getting extra recogniti... | 3 | 1 | |
1388689955 | 1388789860 | t3_1u8z0g | t5_2to41 | 74 | [deleted]: TIFU by farting resulting in a poo puddle on the floor
I farted and it's day two of a juice cleanse and I had no pants on and I thought it was just a fart but nope... shit on the floor.
jpaschel: Somebody reset the counter!
Soccadude123: It's a clock now guys. I'm not happy about it but it is what it is.
jp... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1388692075 | 1388704483 | t3_1u92a7 | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU (actually about 2 months ago) by sleeping with a guy without using a condom
This stems off of my other post from last night. Anyway, I got really drunk at a party and lost my virginity to him. He didn't have a condom but he also didn't (don't want to be gross or blunt, I'm sorry) cum in me. I haven't go... | 3 | 7 | |
1388691439 | 1388753433 | t3_1u918w | t5_2to41 | 5,561 | epatti0914: TIFU by changing in front of my cat.
He attacked my penis.
**TL;DR:** attacked my penis.
AlphaNova: Thanks for the TL;DR
epatti0914: **TL;DR:** Penis.
[deleted]: TL;DR: Pen
No I can't go further. It lost it's meaning.
epatti0914: TL;DR: Ow :(
[deleted]: TL;DR: :(
Rndom_Gy_159: #
spacezoro: TL;DR .
wienerb... | 11 | 505.545455 | |
1388696171 | 1388807677 | t3_1u990f | t5_2to41 | 146 | michaelboccia: TIFU by slapping the shit out of my balls
So there I was having sex with my girlfriend. She was riding me cowgirl style and it was great. I pulled her body down to kiss her and gave her ass a light spank. Then, I went for the mother of all spanks...and missed. As my title says, I slapped the shit out of ... | 4 | 36.5 | |
1388705518 | 1388736135 | t3_1u9o4e | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by using firefox and Windows
I'm a pack rat in some ways. I always keep a ton of tabs open and keep adding more and more and more. Sometimes I try to clear them out, but I always think "I'll go back to this later" so I end up with a bunch. I checked last night, it was at over 400 tabs open in firefox. I... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1388723381 | 1388861176 | t3_1uad7k | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing LoL while making GF wait
So today I started a League of legends game and there I was farming and shit. Meanwhile, my GF calls me and tells me that she was on her way to my home to pick me up(in 10minutes). My first thought was that I needed to win that fast or I would have to leave right at t... | 3 | 20.666667 | |
1388722801 | 1388779042 | t3_1uacd7 | t5_2to41 | 111 | The_Trevaler: TIFU By referencing reddit and am likely to be losing my girlfriend
So, backstory time! ^Grab ^your ^popcorn ^and ^I'll ^flavor ^it ^with ^my ^misery!
We are both in our twenties and have been dating for about two and a half years but are currently long-distance
The past five or so days, my girlfriend h... | 14 | 7.928571 | |
1388717936 | 1388760228 | t3_1ua5an | t5_2to41 | 84 | sp00nzhx: TIFU by playing CoD while texting
Oh, the woes of surprisingly accurate voice typing.
So, I'm playing some Call of Duty on my PS4. It's awesome. I'm on a roll. I get a text from my ex. She's actually rather nice, we're still friends. Pretty cool.
She seems upset. Asks me if she's a bad person. Seeing as I... | 4 | 21 | |
1388730807 | 1388778810 | t3_1uamoq | t5_2to41 | 22 | lazydonovan: TIFU by blowing up a stage audio amplifier
I was trying to fix a different amp (Rated for 600W per side) and accidentally plugged in a feed that I thought was going just to speakers but was actually going to speakers and another amp (rated 200W per side)....
Turned up the audio and popped it. I didn't rea... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1388729798 | 1389128710 | t3_1ualk4 | t5_2to41 | 14 | My_secondary_reddit: TIFU by using machines and sleeping
The actual fuck up was a week and a half ago, but I'm getting the stress today.
It all started off on that fateful evening a week and a half ago. I'm a part time produce clerk at a local grocery store and my job description is literally "clerking produce." So as... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1388735219 | 1388736037 | t3_1uaqz3 | t5_2to41 | 106 | talb1015: TIFU by sending my stepmother a snapchat that was meant for my girlfriend.
It was a... lewd... photo of me and had the text "and then I would massage your body with oil." I mean it wasn't a nude or anything, but it was me in a sexyish pose biting my lip. I had been snapchatting my girlfriend about what I was ... | 6 | 17.666667 | |
1388774222 | 1388799670 | t3_1ubt84 | t5_2to41 | 961 | M_O_N_T_I: TIFU by trusting a fart
3 miles into a 5-mile run, I felt a small fart. I gave it a gentle nudge and - bam! - my compression shorts filled with liquid shit. Only the weak stop in the middle of a run. The next 2 miles helped me understand how babies can develop an uncomfortable diaper rash.
tl;dr...sharted m... | 7 | 137.285714 | |
1388783721 | 1388788244 | t3_1uc8wi | t5_2to41 | 17 | TortoiseWrath: TIFU by doing nothing wrong.
My eBay seller fees for December totaled $12.60. Fine. My PayPal balance was upwards of $50. Surely they'll charge me $12.60 from that, right?
NOPE. Today I get a letter from my bank:
> On 02 JAN 14, [bank name] received and returned an EFT (Electronic Funds Transfer) it... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1388779287 | 1388807581 | t3_1uc1ni | t5_2to41 | 4 | SenseIMakeNone: TIFU by sending a really conservative friend porn.
We were talking about beards and her dislike of them, so in jest I said "So that's why you don't like ZZ Top." (She dislikes any music thats not country). She said "Whose that?" so I googled up "Sharp Dressed Man", copied the youtube link and without ch... | 4 | 1 | |
1388788729 | 1389013312 | t3_1ucgmt | t5_2to41 | 61 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my microphone was on.
I've been having a problem installing Windows 8.1 for months now, and after much ignorance, I finally turned to Microsoft's customer support team to solve the issue.
For those of you not already familiar with how Microsoft's customer support works, basically, a man w... | 7 | 8.714286 | |
1388809590 | 1388810913 | t3_1ud9wr | t5_2to41 | 36 | itsforabirdie: Balls of fire
TheRealSpirit: Suck them.
itsforabirdie: Wow that worked like a charm! I'm glad I found someone with experience in this matter. Thank you internet stranger.
TheRealSpirit: No problem, I have been in situations like this many times. I have always got out with this trick.
| 4 | 9 | |
1388818601 | 1388859800 | t3_1udkgp | t5_2to41 | 104 | Blu3Dream: TIFU by burning my penis with the blow dryer
Living in the Sierra Nevadas, it gets very cold at night.
Took a shower after a cold night at work. Shower with nice hot water. Hot but not steaming hot. Felt so good and warm.
Drying myself, starting to get cold.
Got out of the shower, so damn cold.
Dryin... | 6 | 17.333333 | |
1388847549 | 1388916123 | t3_1ue4x1 | t5_2to41 | 1,855 | chiron1: TIFU by dumping a bowl of vomit into my son's face.
This was a joint fuck up by myself and my wife. It happened moments ago. He's all cleaned up now, so of course I have to post it here.
My 6 yr old son has been up since 1:20 this morning (about 15 minutes after I went to bed) throwing up about once an hour.... | 13 | 142.692308 | |
1388820513 | 1388897713 | t3_1udmbh | t5_2to41 | 12 | Dragonnett: TIFU by attempting to eat my own tongue
Saw a post about [eating gummies](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1tzjsn/tifu_by_eating_gummies/) and it triggered a memory of something I did last May...
It was close to the end of the semester, finals week was coming up, so any second thoughts about eating ... | 3 | 4 | |
1388858441 | 1388962359 | t3_1uehc9 | t5_2to41 | 23 | RationalCube: TIFU by mentioning testosterone to a girl.
So, early this morning, around 2 AM, I decided that it would be a to great time to start texting a girl that I liked. I ask her out to a movie and dinner, and we keep texting until about three.
Now, let me get this straight. She's a large girl, ~5'10 and 170 lb... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1388861677 | 1388872045 | t3_1uelq2 | t5_2to41 | 6 | cedrickirk: TIFU by trying to be a normal foot fetishist
Ok, so I am a foot fetishist. I love the smell, I love to kiss them and lick them and stuff like that. I have it under control and only tell close friends. So TIFU three times all related to my fetish.
1. My dads ex (we are just friends now) knows I like feet and... | 7 | 0.857143 | |
1388865849 | 1388889485 | t3_1uerm4 | t5_2to41 | 70 | Ohfuckitstuck255: TIFU by practicing blowjobs in the shower
Well TIFU, I'm back **but with a dildo**! Nothing stuck in my cunt this time though, sorry.
Today I woke up pretty horny so I decided to take the way-too-fucking-large suction cup dildo I got for Christmas from my friend (as a joke) into the shower with me. N... | 5 | 14 | |
1388867595 | 1388989006 | t3_1ueu5u | t5_2to41 | 18 | RationalCube: TIFU again... By nit looking at what I was drinking.
So, I was ridiculously tired today because of my last post on here (see comment history), and I'm currently in my Korean mother's house.
To make me feel better, she asked me if I wanted tea, and called me out to drink it just before she hopped in the ... | 3 | 6 | |
1388872439 | 1389046318 | t3_1uf0s0 | t5_2to41 | 61 | hornysicky: TIFU by being horny
I haven't been feeling well recently and was in my room with a humidifier so I assumed everybody would leave the sick person alone to be sick. I decided to masturbate and right as I was finishing my dad opened the door asking about dinner. I know he saw it but he didn't say anything.
I ... | 7 | 8.714286 | |
1388863322 | 1388910120 | t3_1ueo1o | t5_2to41 | 46 | walkedtoofar: TIFU by taking a walk on New Year's Day
Yes, it's one of THOSE stories.
I got up to the usual New Year's Eve business with friends. I got home around 4 AM and slept until about 9. Despite all the drinking and little sleep I felt really refreshed and wasn't hungover. Pretty energetic in fact.
I decided i... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1388865411 | 1388909019 | t3_1ueqz7 | t5_2to41 | 31 | banabis: TIFU by trying to talk dirty and saying I love you...
I really really was trying to say I love the way you fuck me but the heat of the moment and being all flustered and horny it came out, I love you. You just laughed. But still, fuck.
abelcc: Classic Schmosby
banabis: hahahaha this made me feel better.
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1388868879 | 1389043832 | t3_1uevza | t5_2to41 | 14 | K-i-p: Tifu by hitting my Doorknob
So I got morning wood when o woke up right? I get up, stretch, and walk to the door. I trip over one of my shoes, and the momentum carried me forwards and my dick had less momentum or something so it caused a whip effect and I hit the doorknob with it. My immediate reaction is to yell... | 8 | 1.75 | |
1388887060 | 1388957537 | t3_1ufggx | t5_2to41 | 9 | fedupd: TIFU by cutting someone out of my life because of their mental illness
Not completely true, it actually happened about three years ago but today was really the first time when I realized it.
A former friend of mine is bipolar. He's generally a very nice guy, as in the vast majority of the time he's great compa... | 3 | 3 | |
1388894196 | 1389341860 | t3_1ufq6c | t5_2to41 | 22 | kiyoshi357: TIFU by taking a child who knows a few colourful words into a public place.
Okay so this wasn't today but reading stuff from TIFU just makes me think of my own fuck ups. So here is my first post on TIFU. Also just a warning this post will contain offensive language.
A year or so back I was looking after a ... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1388911493 | 1389478902 | t3_1ug87n | t5_2to41 | 101 | 2dccbpm31: TIFU by Shaving my Pubes in my Gandparent's shower.
A true low point in my life right here, but I'm not even going to make a throwaway because I have no self-respect.
Well I've been on a family holiday the last few weeks and I haven't had the slightest reason to trim the bush at all. Believe me when I tell ... | 6 | 16.833333 | |
1388946879 | 1388978909 | t3_1uh1rd | t5_2to41 | 457 | IRideVelociraptors: Fuck-Up of the Year Awards: Final Round!
After our initial round of nominations, voting has left us with 2 contenders for FUOTY 2013.
Our first finalist is [intothewilder](/u/intothewilder) with [TIFU by playing a ThinkGeek practical joke. The Canadian FBI was called and I nearly killed my 17-year ... | 8 | 57.125 | |
1388951680 | 1388955848 | t3_1uh8ox | t5_2to41 | 52 | NineFeetUnderground: TIFU. Hoverzoom + The "level 10 Fisting" gif on the front page = an extremely awkward conversation with non-redditor roommate.
Walked away, ignored the mouse; fisting gif just opens & starts playing on a loop.
Thanks for that one Reddit.
the_wiqaner: I believe a link is needed... For science... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1388950908 | 1388997331 | t3_1uh7jn | t5_2to41 | 583 | PixelOrange: A 3 year old TIFU story!
Telling this for my 3 year old since he's too young.
My son has recently acquired the power to break wind on command. He's more adept at channeling nature's forces than Captain Planet. So he was tooting his own horn for his mother and giggling after each klaxon blast. Three times ... | 6 | 97.166667 | |
1388973751 | 1389430225 | t3_1ui6pp | t5_2to41 | 1,832 | tyler123321: TIFU by calling our hostess a faggot.
Today me, my step brother, and my best friend all went out to lunch. Me and my step brother are generally dicks to each other. When he does something for me, or I do something for him, we say "Thanks, faggot" sometimes. It's become very subconscious.
Today we went to ... | 17 | 107.764706 | |
1388976408 | 1388987672 | t3_1uiams | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally deleting the most important videos I've ever taken in my life. Now they are gone forever.
In 2011 I started doing monthly videos where I talked about my life and what happened that month, like a diary. The videos were about 20 minutes long and I literally talked about every secret and ev... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1388975202 | 1389015758 | t3_1ui8t4 | t5_2to41 | 18 | Yesterdays_tomorrows: TIFU by getting blacked out drunk with my best friend and my girlfriend
Well it was actually about two days ago. Hadn't seen my friend in awhile, but little did anyone know I was a bit horny and wanted to do naughty things with my girlfriend.
Friend texted and asked to hang out, asked my gir... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1388977539 | 1388989847 | t3_1uicdb | t5_2to41 | 28 | kaythxbai: TIFU by forgetting to take my phone out of my pocket before going in the water at the beach
That's pretty much it. Phone is in a bag of rice now, but I don't have high hopes as it was a good 15 minutes before I realised.
nblracer880: TIFU - Live where I would be in a bag if I tried going into the water at a ... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1388981315 | 1389033485 | t3_1uihsl | t5_2to41 | 65 | tshowalt: TIFU by giving my best friend a computer virus
Okay so I've been using some foreign ass random website to watch movies that haven't been released onto DVD yet because I'm a cheap bastard and don't want to pay to go to a theater. Well I found that movie "Lone Survivor" in perfect quality and my friends wanted ... | 5 | 13 | |
1388995248 | 1389036219 | t3_1uixmk | t5_2to41 | 3 | Yesterdays_tomorrows: TIFU by being myself
Apparently I am annoying, not liked, and don't necessarily need to be cared about.
woodbury419: Reddit can overlook your flaws..
Yesterdays_tomorrows: Reddit is amazing
tokewithnick: Reddit is love, Reddit is life
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1389026958 | 1389153111 | t3_1ujpye | t5_2to41 | 1,006 | WeedBabyThrowaway: TIFU by Turning My Back On A 1 Year Old
I work full time as a nanny, and I love my job. I work for an awesome couple who have an equally awesome daughter. I'm living the dream.
Now, the father had worked extra shifts over the weekend and the mother had had some things to do, so the house isn't quite... | 12 | 83.833333 | |
1389024450 | 1389033389 | t3_1ujmdv | t5_2to41 | 22 | Smithburg01: TIFU by throwing a heavy dog toy at a newborns face
So my sis and brother in law and their newborn were visiting, and while I was playing with the dog throwing his toy around I sort of just let go at the wrong time, flinging it right into the baby's face who then started crying uncontrollably. My brother i... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1389027244 | 1389111633 | t3_1ujqcl | t5_2to41 | 29 | jazzymouse: TIFU by scratching my balls after applying vix vapour rub.
So, you guy's know what that is right? Vix Vapour rub, the stuff to combat an extremely snotty nose. Well, last night I went out and picked up a few pots (slightly overzealous I know), rushed home and got into my jam jam's as you do when you're suff... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1389033324 | 1389137084 | t3_1ujzsx | t5_2to41 | 223 | [deleted]: TIFU by wetting my boyfriends bed and blaming it on his grandma
This didn’t happen today but I only just found out the implications of what I did, so it sort of counts.
Basically, over the Christmas period my boyfriend’s grandma had been staying in his bed, as she lives a four hour drive away and the family... | 6 | 37.166667 | |
1389039457 | 1389049989 | t3_1uk9sr | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: Sending the wrong text to the wrong person. I fucked up Reddit. Accepting feels and advice. (sorry for length)
truthcanbequestioned: Beg, plead upon you knees if necessary. Find xbox guy and drag him to her place. Then do something seriously over the top. Maybe even cheesy over the top, to make her laugh. T... | 7 | 2.857143 | |
1389043332 | 1389116557 | t3_1ukgbe | t5_2to41 | 43 | beanieman54: TIFU by spitting on a truck parked next to me
I come out of class, tired and dazed from my first day ever at this college. And there I see next to my car, a big lifted pick-up truck parked like a complete jackass next to me. The angle was like this:
|\ The straight line being my car and the slash is his ... | 7 | 6.142857 | |
1389049156 | 1389050801 | t3_1ukq4b | t5_2to41 | 22 | rawbery79: TIFU by answering the call of nature.
A bit of background: I work at a reasonably well known national coffee shop but in the Midwest. It's been cold as FUCK here, didn't get above zero today. Our thermostat is kind of messed up, and for some reason, to keep the rest of the store at a reasonable temperature... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1389049303 | 1389051030 | t3_1ukqel | t5_2to41 | 26 | puddlewonderfuls: TIFU by breaking a light fixture with my pants
This morning was my 3 yr anniversary with the SO, and right as we get out of bed he starts singing this little jingle and asks me to guess where It's from. I say Harry Potter, Wizard of Oz, Jurassic Park... It sounded so familiar. Then he says there are t... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1389049931 | 1389055921 | t3_1ukri7 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Jasondazombie: MFFU By bringing the outside dog into the house
Hello, some of you might remember me as The Grandmother/Pepsi Guy, and we brought the dog,Lady into the house because the dang Canadians and their horrible winters put the top/eastern half of the USA
through turmoil. So far, the dog has snorted up the food... | 3 | 1 | |
1389059863 | 1389302831 | t3_1ul7bv | t5_2to41 | 57 | Eddie_Morra: TIFU by accidentially showing a flight attendant a nude picture
This story is a little older but just came to my mind while reading the thread about obnoxious bevahiour of people on an airplane.
I was on my way back from a great trip on a cruise ship with my mother, her boyfriend and my brother. To save t... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1389073119 | 1389476475 | t3_1ulr37 | t5_2to41 | 49 | IAmTooStupid: TIFU By Jerking Off At My Desk Without Listening For Knocks
I was doing my thing at my desk watching internet porn. I was really getting into it and wearing my headset so I couldn't hear anything but the porn track. Apparently my mother knocked on my door for something and I didn't hear her so after som... | 7 | 7 | |
1389070229 | 1389078088 | t3_1uln65 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Tallrussian: TIFU By living a very unhealthy lifestyle all of my life.
So, I'll start it like this, ever since I was a baby I was very picky, I never liked veggies, besides broccoli, fruits wise I only liked plums and lemons, never liked sandwiches very much, unless they were straight up meat. I am repulsed by tuna, so... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1389101842 | 1389151687 | t3_1umeoj | t5_2to41 | 1,816 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking my id out on subway
**Back story:** I'm an intern at a large company, and I had just started yesterday. I received my ID and entrance card from the security officer, who specifically told me to keep it in a safe place so that it wouldn't drop when taking the transit.
**Today:** I was taking t... | 9 | 201.777778 | |
1389113420 | 1389154357 | t3_1umt4a | t5_2to41 | 116 | [deleted]: TIFU by beating off while having a family reunion
Yeah, we are all guys and we need to..u know, lift the pressure. My calculation kind of dissapointed me though.
We had this kind of family reunion, with all my family participating. Yeah, my grandmothers too.
And then, suddenly I got this feeling I had... | 3 | 38.666667 | |
1389117056 | 1389118686 | t3_1umyt7 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with an old FWB from high school
So, a couple days ago an old FWB, who i didn't even know still had my number, texted me out of the blue and wanted to "hang out." Yesterday, we did end up "hanging out" with FWB just giving me a bj and leaving and everything seemed fine. As FWB was leaving... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1389116680 | 1389128024 | t3_1umy7m | t5_2to41 | 35 | this_random_dude: TIFU by not asking my dream girl.
Yesterday I was on Virgin flight from San Francisco to Dallas and I completely fucked up by not asking the girl next to me out or even get her name.
While I was already seated on the plane, waiting for the rest of the plane to board I was hoping that I would get eit... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1389125975 | 1389127628 | t3_1undq1 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by not ditching the friend and possibly missing my chance
Or rather, Saturday I Fucked Up.
It starts with a girl (X), these posts usually do. I like her and friends think it's mutual.
On Saturday, I went out with her and a couple of her friends. So far so good. The end of the night came and it was t... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1389130757 | 1389163354 | t3_1unlw7 | t5_2to41 | 1,016 | [deleted]: Fuck Up of the Year Awards! And the winner is...
[TIFU by playing a ThinkGeek practical joke. The Canadian FBI was called and I nearly killed my 17-year career](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1f86yl/tifu_by_playing_a_thinkgeek_practical_joke_the/), by /u/intothewilder! He won by 877 points! Congrats! ... | 11 | 92.363636 | |
1389116404 | 1389137614 | t3_1umxrh | t5_2to41 | 83 | admssjt: TIFU by sending my dad a text that said "Your mom's a retard!"
I was meaning to respond to one of my friends who called me a retard with a classic "Your mom" retort. Unfortunately, my phone has a habit of opening the wrong message thread occasionally, especially when switching between threads. Like the idiot... | 3 | 27.666667 | |
1389137037 | 1389246950 | t3_1unwi7 | t5_2to41 | 576 | gramofonofon: TIFU by getting an idea from "TIFU"
So yeah about an hour ago i decided to please myself in the shower. In the middle of my jerk i got an idea. I had read about a guy here on this subreddit who had put Buckyballs in his dick and gotten them stuck in his bladder. My little brother had taken them from my ro... | 6 | 96 | |
1389144264 | 1389223696 | t3_1uo8en | t5_2to41 | 333 | pooplickerthrowaway: Today I fucked up by licking my own poop
This is without a doubt my second greatest fuck up of my life so far. This happened yesterday
I've been watching porn and masturbating since I was about 12. At first, normal porn was fine. But as I fapped more, normal porn didn't do it for me anymore. I mov... | 13 | 25.615385 | |
1389144700 | 1389161073 | t3_1uo94h | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU By changing my college website password before school starts
I received a email saying that my university website password was expiring and that I need to change it soon. This website basically has all my classes information and all of my tools that I need to have at all times.
So I changed my password... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1389090014 | 1389161323 | t3_1um6cv | t5_2to41 | 3 | blazingarpeggio: Today I ALMOST Fucked Up With An Electric Kettle
So I am in my college boarding house when I got hungry. So I bought a pack of instant noodles, among other snacks, and went back home to heat water for it. I filled the kettle and plugged it to an extension cable. While waiting, I browsed Reddit. In a fe... | 3 | 1 | |
1389153278 | 1389243752 | t3_1uomuu | t5_2to41 | 17 | t3jem: TIFU by running a 10k... in flip flops
This actually happened last year, but I wasn't a redditor then.
**Backstory**
I'm 23 years old and healthy, but I have never run more than a mile in my life. I sprint fairly often when playing ultimate frisbee once a week, but I've never done any type of actual running.
... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1389186373 | 1389217788 | t3_1uphe5 | t5_2to41 | 2,064 | [deleted]: Today I Fucked Up by masturbating in my room...
So, I wake up pretty damn hungover after last night's events, sore, cranky and really desperate to pee. I decided to check my phone. Perfect. A girl was sending me naked pictures on Snapchat, "Good morning", the text read. This girl knows how to use Snapchat an... | 10 | 206.4 | |
1389187845 | 1389320235 | t3_1upirx | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking my car to the dealership
Well, not today. But I discovered it today.
I usually change my own oil. Except last time, when I didn't have time. Being the idiot I was, I trusted the dealership to do the job properly.
Nope. They used a pneumatic wrench on the oil drain bolt. Not only is it stuck,... | 6 | 4.333333 | |
1389200720 | 1389208667 | t3_1upzj1 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by mistaking real life for lucid dreaming
So I've had about 3 lucid dreams, all through DILD and doing reality checks in dreams because I do them all the time in waking life. Today at school I was sitting on a bench in a corridor, minding my own business. I was wearing a digital watch at the time and I'... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1389200100 | 1389340335 | t3_1upyke | t5_2to41 | 174 | I_will_eat_your_life: TIFU by not closing/muting porn, Allowing a train full of people to hear it.
This was actually just over a week ago.
I had been watching porn the night before, girl on girl, the usual.
I'd had my headphones in and the volume up full. I was pretty tired when I had finished and had to be up early ... | 7 | 24.857143 | |
1389200615 | 1389288972 | t3_1upze4 | t5_2to41 | 194 | WeedBabyThrowaway: TIFUpdate: Pot Baby
Hello friends! [It's your friendly neighborhood nanny!](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1ujpye/tifu_by_turning_my_back_on_a_1_year_old/)
So it's been a couple of days and I've had a chance to talk to both mom and dad (separately, damn schedules) and everything is cool. They... | 7 | 27.714286 | |
1389218982 | 1389242957 | t3_1uqu75 | t5_2to41 | 69 | diggerB: TIFU by reading in the bathroom at work (possibly NSFW)
On my lunch break, I needed to use the bathroom to take a shit. So I did. While I was shitting, I was reading a book on my smartphone... "The Skystone" by Jack Whyte.
All that was going to come out had done (it was quite runny and unpleasant), and I cont... | 6 | 11.5 | |
1389221644 | 1390065612 | t3_1uqym1 | t5_2to41 | 41 | exander321: Today I fucked up by throwing boiling water in my dad's face.
So as you might have noticed, it's really fucking cold outside. So I decided to take advantage and do me some science. I got a pot of water going, and then called my family down to watch. I grabbed the boiling water and went outside. My dad stood... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1389220162 | 1389463589 | t3_1uqw63 | t5_2to41 | 1,379 | banginchoonz: TIFU by laughing at one of my students and making her cry.
I teach English as a second language in a French high school. It's a good job, it pays quite well, the school and government pay my rent, and I love teaching.
Getting bored of my usual lesson formats, I created a simple lesson plan based around a... | 8 | 172.375 | |
1389202847 | 1389227294 | t3_1uq2rj | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by nearly killing myself doing a trampoline backflip
So my last lesson of today was PE, and I now do trampolining. Woo-hoo! I enjoy trampolining a lot! I might even be the best out of my group at this! I pull off a few somersaults just to remember how to do them, and I pull them off perfectly, impressin... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1389227862 | 1389328209 | t3_1ur8n4 | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: My parents found out I have a butt plug. FUCK. Im a dude.
I hid it near my bed because I didn't think my parents would be cleaning my room this very day. Next thing I know when I came from school I found my butt plug on my desk. FUCK
AFTERMATH: As /u/fuckyouripod said this is what my parents and I basically... | 6 | 7.833333 | |
1389223610 | 1389438529 | t3_1ur1va | t5_2to41 | 71 | ButtersHound: TIFU and went spelunking with the village idiot
Happened a couple years ago but I thought you guys could use a break from the normal rouge fart and masturbation bloopers so here it is...
Back in bumfuck nowhere cornville my girlfriend had a friend, lets call him Boner (actual nickname), who was...special... | 6 | 11.833333 | |
1389224795 | 1389473807 | t3_1ur3ss | t5_2to41 | 47 | enhanced195: TIFU by feeding my family spicy sausages
Forgive me for errors I'm typing this on my phone.
Last week I went to the supermarket with my dad to help him do some shopping. While he was shopping he sent me to get some things on the list. One of them was a package of hot dogs. I get them and all is well, or i... | 4 | 11.75 | |
1389218881 | 1389245229 | t3_1uqu1h | t5_2to41 | 13 | tripofyourlife: TIFU by drinking what I thought was chai
So I woke up really groggy desperately needing some caffeine. I stumble into my poorly lit kitchen and measure out some of my liquid Chai concentrate mix and pour an equal amount of milk. It looked a little light so I assumed it probably needed a little more chai... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1389236506 | 1389286678 | t3_1urmhc | t5_2to41 | 162 | emqbmx: TIFU on snapchat
So I had been dating this girl for a while. It had gotten more intimate and we would send nudes back and forth a lot. So as per usual we were exchanging them. I took a picture of my dick and the caption said."Do something dirty for me." I was about to send it. Now as you probably know, the Snap... | 5 | 32.4 | |
1389238389 | 1389277262 | t3_1urpdy | t5_2to41 | 146 | oodie1127: TIFU by watching porn and inviting the family.
Oh sweet Jesus it's all such a blur. My night started off like normal. I was watching the trailer for Ride Along on loop when I realized I had to poop. So be it.
I waltz in and release my bowels, which was really runny (an omen of events to come). Well I'm brow... | 3 | 48.666667 | |
1389247708 | 1389301198 | t3_1us20p | t5_2to41 | 53 | volunteerthrowaway25: Today I fucked up by trusting a Craigslist scam, got "u wot m8'd"
So a while ago I did something stupid, and now have to do community service for it. I found this "non profit" called American Angel Works on Craigslist, and after applying they told me after donating they would fill out any paper wo... | 6 | 8.833333 | |
1389262374 | 1389474716 | t3_1usdlr | t5_2to41 | 120 | deshe: TIFU by not taking a dump before leaving home
Prologue: I had pizza last night, with Jalapenos. The thing about Jalapenos is that you can never tell in advance how hot they are, and yesterday's were merciless. I am not the kind of man who'd let this stand between me and delicious pizza, but they did a number on ... | 5 | 24 | |
1389284091 | 1389330258 | t3_1usi7v | t5_2to41 | 112 | PissOutMyAsss: Having sex with someone of the same gender makes you gay. Enjoying stimulation in a place has no bearing on your sexuality.
DaEvil1: No. Being sexually attracted more or less exclusively by members of the same gender makes you gay. It's very possible to have sex with someone you're not attracted to, eve... | 20 | 5.6 | |
1389230233 | 1389407198 | t3_1urcc6 | t5_2to41 | 20 | thehotdelancey: TIFU by destroying the work toilet. The only one with a heater (We work outdoors)
This morning, I had to do the dirty, and since it was cold out, I used the shop toilet for employees. Little did I know (because SOMEONE didnt leave a note that it was leaking and didnt flush quite right- THATS WHY YOU ALW... | 4 | 5 | |
1389286868 | 1389295012 | t3_1ut2av | t5_2to41 | -9 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my girlfriend eat her brothers leftovers
I'm telling this on behave of my girlfriend because she doesn't have reddit.
So last Friday night I and my girlfriends brother went to go the orange bowl. We will call him Tyler for now. we go and we have a really good time and don’t get back till like... | 9 | -1 | |
1389280044 | 1389363191 | t3_1ussfu | t5_2to41 | 57 | arm_pitt: TIFU by making a wrong song choice
This happened many years ago but it's only recently that I realized.
---
I was in a romantic relationship and the girl asked me what song reminded me of her.
Background: English is not my first language. At the time I couldn't understand lyrics of most songs.
What song ... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1389278653 | 1389313387 | t3_1usqoj | t5_2to41 | 35 | Tsuichendist: TIFU: by trying to toss my pencil onto my workbench
I want to preface the sorry by saying that I work as a cabinetmaker, so there is a myriad of tools actively trying to maim me, so I was not en guarde for vicious stationary.
Stabbed my palm with a pencil, went to throw it onto my bench and the eraser hi... | 5 | 7 | |
1389293457 | 1389338657 | t3_1utd34 | t5_2to41 | 541 | [deleted]: TIFU by not backing up my bitcoin wallet.
Recently I did a full system recovery on my computer. I went through and backed up all of my documents, pics, etc. but I forgot to back up my Bitcoin wallet. Because of this I lost a little more than 4 btc. Currently that's valued at ~$4000.
[deleted]: Unless you do ... | 6 | 90.166667 | |
1389323380 | 1389405734 | t3_1uuq5a | t5_2to41 | 32 | Aggamenawon: TIFU by meeting my gf's family while hammered
Sorry Reddit I had no idea about this sub until reading that ThinkGeek guy's post, but I thought my New Years story would fit here.
Party at the college I go to, but I didn't know who was going to be there and my girlfriend of 1 month wanted to go real bad, so... | 4 | 8 | |
1389330267 | 1389664398 | t3_1uuzzp | t5_2to41 | 69 | cooooook123: TIFU by shooting my dick.
This happened when I was junior high, but that makes it all the better to me lol.
One warm summer afternoon my brother and I were relaxing in our lazy boy chairs. For some dumb reason, I had my airsoft pistol with me. I suppose it was because I had some weird obsession with the h... | 5 | 13.8 | |
1389334863 | 1389441709 | t3_1uv5fb | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU My Driving Test -_-
So basically I was taking my test and had to make a left. It had its own stoplight and it was yellow. My stupid ass/reflexes decides to punch it and try to beat it to the red. Like seriously! Wtf was I thinking? Still mad at myself.
I obviously failed and my driving instructor was... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1389326721 | 1389361519 | t3_1uuv5z | t5_2to41 | 19 | Fereta: TIFU by somehow getting my car stuck in my driveway.
Long-ass read.
So it's fucking 4:50 PM, and my shift starts at 5. I'm a senior in high school so I just work at a pizza place. Lately we've been getting a *ton* of snow and cold weather, so driving conditions aren't the best.
I hop into my car, and start t... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1389341853 | 1389387753 | t3_1uvbk5 | t5_2to41 | 1,601 | PEE_EYE_THROWAWAY: TIFU by peeing in the shower.
So just about an hour ago I was about to have a shower and I needed to pee so I thought I know, I'll just do it in the shower to save water. I then thought lets see how high I can pee. So I sat of the floor of the shower and pointed my dick up and built up as much pressu... | 13 | 123.153846 | |
1389351373 | 1389391905 | t3_1uvhwl | t5_2to41 | 22 | ninjajandal: TIFU by sending an email
TIFU by sending the email cementing my decision. The email was to the head of school, and confirmed that I would not be returning to finish my degree. This (incredibly difficult to get into) degree has already cost two years of my life, $40k in student loans and untold stress, and... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1389361013 | 1389387508 | t3_1uvp42 | t5_2to41 | 306 | PinkBootedBandit: TIFU by trying to have sex with my GF in the middle of the night.
My girlfriend who will be named Reine came home from work later than I did. I had already showered, brushed my teeth and was snuggled beneath my bed sheets when she came in bed. Usually we have sex before bed almost everynight but it ... | 5 | 61.2 | |
1389356602 | 1389422910 | t3_1uvlks | t5_2to41 | 22 | danthezombieking: TIFU by being an elevator creeper.
Ok, so... I live in an apartment(yay me!). I had just hailed the elevator. I'm standing in the metal entrence-thing to the elevator. I got bored, so I stretched out my arms over my head(it was pretty relaxing). Then I realised that I could see my reflection in the me... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1389349771 | 1389466417 | t3_1uvgwz | t5_2to41 | 74 | Jester_Man: TIFU by spilling my piss everywhere in the hospital.
My fuck up isn't as bad as other people here but I felt like sharing. So today, I went in for my regular kidney check ups and had to pee in a cup so they can determine if my kidneys are doing what they are supposed to do. Well, I hadn't slept in over 24 h... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1389372044 | 1389482846 | t3_1uw2st | t5_2to41 | 102 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting a burger from a hookah bar.
So last night I got out of work, and my stomach was furious with me for neglecting it all day. I was thinking of what to do for dinner, but my friends wanted to go to a hookah bar. I was a little hesitant at first but they assured me that they have good food, so I... | 3 | 34 | |
1389369969 | 1389584090 | t3_1uvzt7 | t5_2to41 | 20 | tmac33: TIFU... My last hour
TIFU..Today I went to the sauna. As I'm in the change room I drop my phone (which has a serious case) and the screen breaks. As I sit in the sauna feeling sorry for myself, I think chipper up 1st world problem. Then I chuck some water on the hot rocks and bam!! Massive steam burn on my hand... | 6 | 3.333333 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.