start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1389344429 | 1390054011 | t3_1uvde1 | t5_2to41 | 21 | JohnoTheFoolish: TIFU by eating Christmas pudding
I was away from home over the Christmas holidays so I missed out on my grandmother's Christmas pudding (also known as plum pudding (because raisins used to be called plums). For those that don't know, Christmas pudding is a tradional English pudding made with dried frui... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1389379930 | 1390377348 | t3_1uwezw | t5_2to41 | 44 | 8_ball: TIFU by chugging whitening mouthwash
Sooo yeah, not very pleasant. Here's the story:
My girlfriend and I had booked a cruise a few months ago. Being cheap college students, we decided to smuggle as much booze on the boat as possible. One of the ways we brought some on the boat was emptying and washing out a li... | 4 | 11 | |
1389384270 | 1389389485 | t3_1uwm1z | t5_2to41 | -1 | Thenovazz: TIFU By trusting.. Yes.. A fart...
So just like 10 minutes ago I was making popcorn in the microwave when I feel this huge fart (i think) is coming out of my big lying Ass. So I do not want to let it out in the kitchen, so I go in to another room, spread my legs a little and push... I was expecting a fart. W... | 4 | -0.25 | |
1389384102 | 1389455440 | t3_1uwlrl | t5_2to41 | 2 | henney22: TIFU by eating non refrigerated yogurt and meatloaf
So last night, , sorry it wasn't today. But last night I went to work. i work at a call center therefore i have nothing but time. So anyways I hadn't slept much the day before so I was super tired. I get to work with my packed lunch and for some god awful re... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1389411520 | 1389461202 | t3_1uxpc1 | t5_2to41 | 2,804 | secretspaghettisauce: TIFU by eating spaghetti
So, obviously a throwaway to begin with.
Tonight, I made excellent pasta. I cooked enough for seconds for when I get hungry later.
The sauce was a typical gravy. Beef with tomatoes, peppers and onions. Seasoned with my favourites. The noodles were just right.
I ate and... | 11 | 254.909091 | |
1389418364 | 1389820980 | t3_1uxxq3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | zootermopsis: TIFU by recommending drugs to an intern
We had an intern last summer, whose mother happens to be our HR contact. The intern did awesome work and everyone in the office thinks highly of the work she did. She is no longer interning for us, but she occasionally stops by and seeks out a few of us for advice... | 4 | 3 | |
1389425601 | 1389427079 | t3_1uy4lo | t5_2to41 | 42 | JRPGpro: TIFU by breaking my ankle for nothing
So a few weeks ago a kinda redditor responded to my plea to find a cheap memory card for my PS Vita. And the most awesome thing happened! He is sending me one for free! You heard that right, a free Vita memory card because he is the coolest person ever.
Now I know it tak... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1389424526 | 1389509780 | t3_1uy3pp | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating in the dark.
I was laying in bed and felt a little tired, but mildly horny. So I relax and engage fap-mode. Much to my surprise, when I finished an impressive load erupted and out, and although lying horizontally, it went past my shoulder, getting on my pillow. Of course there was a trai... | 6 | 7.666667 | |
1389430748 | 1389754048 | t3_1uy8cw | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to hide some farts
It was the day after thanksgiving and I was having a second dinner with my family. I had to leave early to make it home in time to get ready for a show. It was about an hour drive and I paid my male friend to make the commute to pick me up and take me home.
I started feelin... | 4 | 11 | |
1389431441 | 1389647717 | t3_1uy8rx | t5_2to41 | 188 | AnotherDrunkenBum: TIFU: Been using a silly name on my job hunt email.
So today i finally realized why I've between having awful luck job hunting on the internet for three Fucking years!!!
I've been using an email that i thought was all prim and proper to reply to help wanted ads. My address was fine, but google h... | 10 | 18.8 | |
1389435189 | 1390228835 | t3_1uyb1a | t5_2to41 | 92 | SquishMitt3n: TIFU by telling a customer to be careful of heatstroke.
As some of you may know, today in Perth (Western Australia) the temperature reached about 44 degrees (111.2 farenheit, for the Yanks) - which is strangely late for a hot January day. Some people were at the beach, some were staying at home in their l... | 5 | 18.4 | |
1389465725 | 1389467096 | t3_1uz2bw | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking my medication.
I take seizure meds for bipolar and skipped them for a week for reasons I'll not disclose. If I take it after a week of skipping, it will get me stoned. I got the brilliant fucking idea to take 500 mg instead of my prescribed 300 mg so I could have been on goddamn Mars and would... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1389466646 | 1389494787 | t3_1uz3a9 | t5_2to41 | 674 | Suneoc: I still don't know what to do with myself.
themindofthat: Nah but in all seriousness, he deserved it. All the strangers there were probably cheering you on in their minds.
Suneoc: Part of me also thinks that. But still, he was just a kid being a kid in a way. Until he got punched. In the face. By me.
themin... | 11 | 61.272727 | |
1389468943 | 1389570315 | t3_1uz6re | t5_2to41 | 34 | arkaodubz: TIFU by setting up my new computer monitor
So my brother got me a new monitor for christmas, a pretty decent Hanns.G deal. Couldn't get it working till yesterday because I needed a replacement converter cable. So I've got it set up in my family house to see how it looks before I pack up and ship off to schoo... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1389454131 | 1389628034 | t3_1uynuk | t5_2to41 | 59 | TickleTh1sElmo: TIFU by vomiting on my cat
It's been years since I have gotten sick enough to throw up. I woke up around 9pm, having to be at work at 3am. I felt rumbling and decided to go to the toilet. When I open my door, my cat is sitting there. She starts rubbing on leg when I feel very lightheaded. I spewed up ri... | 5 | 11.8 | |
1389476481 | 1389498823 | t3_1uzheo | t5_2to41 | 161 | [deleted]: TIFU by owning a fleshlight
About a week ago, I got my fleshlight in the mail. My parents are pretty liberal and know that I have it, didn't make a big deal out of it.
I got home from work about an hour ago to find my door open. I went into my closet to put away some stuff, and my fleshlight insert (which w... | 5 | 32.2 | |
1389476916 | 1389539317 | t3_1uzhzq | t5_2to41 | 56 | thowawaykavinsky: TIFU by only realizing now that I made the second biggest mistake of my life...
I don’t usually watch tv shows, I am a movie, video game kind of guy, but one Saturday afternoon a friend is binge watching New Girl so I decided to watch it with him. The episode he’s watching is when Nick breaks up with ... | 5 | 11.2 | |
1389485019 | 1389485936 | t3_1uzt7e | t5_2to41 | 4 | ReihEhcsaSlaSthcin: TIFU By Making A Newly Discovered Species Go Extinct
IRideVelociraptors:
Hi ReihEhcsaSlaSthcin, thank you for submitting to /r/tifu.
Unfortunately your submission *"TIFU By Making A Newly Discovered Species Go Extinct"* has been removed because there is a lack of context. Please resubmit with co... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1389484189 | 1389485649 | t3_1uzs2w | t5_2to41 | 6 | sketchyfacestuff: TIFU by driving over fencing covered in snow
Actually it was yesterday but i was too busy to post.
So it's 8 am and i've already been working for an hour and I'm driving to my next job site and go down a service road to turn around. No one uses the service road except for utility maintenance so I u... | 3 | 2 | |
1389468374 | 1389906765 | t3_1uz5zg | t5_2to41 | 10 | FurTrader58: TIFU by being late for work
I work at a gelato shop in a mall, and it's more of a kiosk/permanent stand alone store in the food court. Being in a mall there's mall rules we have to follow and one of those is that stores must all be open by the time the mall is open. Today that's 10am.
Rewind to last nigh... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1389485143 | 1389528474 | t3_1uztd0 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU the easiest pickup ever by beeing retarded
Actually not even 5 minutes ago. So i'm at the club with my buddy - has been a long time since i went to the club - so we're drinking, playing pickup games and stuff and end up sitting in a corner drinking beer. When a pretty hot girl walks up to us and says so... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1389492407 | 1389548883 | t3_1v02z8 | t5_2to41 | 52 | Justusbraz: TIFU by making my son cry in the car
Here's the story. My wife, two children (boy and girl, 9&4), my sister, and I were driving home from a family get together.
As I was driving, an older man on a bicycle cut across from the left to the right lane, crossing the middle lane, on a curve. If I hadn't sla... | 4 | 13 | |
1389495633 | 1389547501 | t3_1v0733 | t5_2to41 | 42 | Tufari: TIFU by not cancelling my WoW 6-month Recurring subscriptions after I ceased playing.
So today I check my bank account and observe what I perceived to be an unauthorized charge by blizzard, so I changed my battle.net password and contacted blizzard online support. When talking to the blizzard representative, th... | 3 | 14 | |
1389492080 | 1389644687 | t3_1v02je | t5_2to41 | 88 | GremlinZD: TIFU by sleeping with my best friend
Last night, my best friend decided to stop by my place since it was getting late and she didn't want to make the drive back over to hers. This wasn't the first time and I had an extra bed in my room so this wasn't a big deal.
The night starts off normal, she and I go bed... | 4 | 22 | |
1389492423 | 1389590590 | t3_1v02zq | t5_2to41 | 30 | Littimus: TIFU thinking I could win against Eclipse.
For starters, I messed up even thinking I could outsmart Eclipse, my chosen IDE (read: text editor) for developing for Android.
(Apologies to non-developers, there's a lot of jargon, but I'll try to help).
So, some time ago I thought I was going to make the switch ... | 5 | 6 | |
1389493176 | 1389595434 | t3_1v03wr | t5_2to41 | 15 | dutch_oven_tw: TIFU by Giving Myself a Dutch Oven
This actually happened last night.
Last night, I was getting ready for bed. I sleep naked on the weekends, and last night was no exception. I stripped down, and covered up. As I was getting myself comfortable, I farted. In my tired (and slightly drunken) stupor, I pull... | 3 | 5 | |
1389520265 | 1389587286 | t3_1v0ud1 | t5_2to41 | 93 | ViolentThespian: TIFU by throwing a snowball (ice ball) directly into a girl's boob.
Didn't remember this until now. What happened was, I had gone on a winter retreat the Christmas before last with my friend's church, went snowboarding and shit. At the camp, however, there were a couple other youth groups on retreats, ... | 5 | 18.6 | |
1389535744 | 1389575583 | t3_1v135s | t5_2to41 | 1,290 | [deleted]: TIFU By assuming I was alone
This is a throwaway account by the way.
So, yesterday night my mother and cousin were informing me that they would be gone all of today (Sunday) as they would be at church. Being Sunday, I decided to wake up late and since I'm alone in the house, fuck it, I might as well have a... | 9 | 143.333333 | |
1389546743 | 1389595556 | t3_1v1e8o | t5_2to41 | 7 | anytimeanimal: TIFU By giving my bank info and SS to an online adult friend finder
So I'm really desperate here trying to get laid, and I was on a site that links up locals. So I signed up for the 3 day 2-dollar trial thinking I'd be able to end it whenever. I was wrong. So far I've been charged 50 dollars for two mont... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1389553154 | 1389675330 | t3_1v1n39 | t5_2to41 | 77 | dia_outro: TIFU by masturbating in a public restroom.
Me and the wife at mall in the Sears store, I'm bored and horny. First off malls around here are hardly the bustling center of activity they used to be, but there is still a decent crowd. My mind starts to wander while looking at all the beautiful women. So while sh... | 6 | 12.833333 | |
1389554948 | 1389562691 | t3_1v1pq5 | t5_2to41 | 39 | ParrotDrumStickBitch: TIFU so much by not organising my notes and now I'm royally fucking screwed
So this isn't so much of a today thing but something that has been brewing for months now.
Since mid-October I just haven't been organising my notes, I'll throw them on my desk or in my bag. I also haven't been dating th... | 7 | 5.571429 | |
1389559813 | 1389586348 | t3_1v1x3s | t5_2to41 | 61 | frankophony: TIFU by sleeping on my dick funny.
Yesterday I woke up on my right side which is odd in itself, morning wood as usual, but this time I have a sharp pain somewhere around my right ball. Ok, thought it was a bit odd but hoped it was nothing and carried on with my day as normal.
It comes to fap time in the ... | 3 | 20.333333 | |
1389576922 | 1389848796 | t3_1v2n4b | t5_2to41 | 42 | itsrobinsparklesyall: TIFU by sneezing while I had chocolate pudding in my mouth.
And that was hard to explain to my grandma since it went all over her vintage tablecloth.
brasher: Did... did it fly out your nose?
itsrobinsparklesyall: Fun fact: I sneeze out of my mouth. Yeah sneezing chocolate pudding through my nose... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1389576991 | 1390878109 | t3_1v2n85 | t5_2to41 | 79 | SlideRuleLogic: TIFU by showing some Girl Scouts and their parents my grundle
Today, like many Sundays, I headed to my local big box hardware store to pick up supplies for a home project. As it was unseasonably warm, I took the opportunity to sport shorts and flip flops - because how often can you do that in January?
... | 4 | 19.75 | |
1389583352 | 1389624324 | t3_1v2wfg | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by misplacing my debit card.
So, I gave in to my "fat assery" today and bought a meal with my employee discount. I used my debit card to purchased the meal, walked to the back of my work place to grab my meal and leave. I walk to my truck in the rear of the building and drive home. Once I got home to ea... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1389603098 | 1389632515 | t3_1v3hn8 | t5_2to41 | 4,129 | iloveblackcocks: TIFU by getting caught masturbating in a very embarrassing way, NSFW
This happened yesterday night, it's 9 am here. Pretty long post and english is not my mother tounge so please bear with me. Very NSFW.
I'm a 21 year old male living with my parents. I have the whole upper floor for me but i don't ha... | 12 | 344.083333 | |
1389616954 | 1389621644 | t3_1v3qit | t5_2to41 | 21 | kotalikmyballs: TIFU by leaving my debit card at home before I left for Italy
Title says it all. Currently sitting at the airport with four dollars to my name trying to figure out how to get some money before I leave for a month
gwenstyles: Get someone to grab the card at home and FedEx it to the hotel you're staying a... | 3 | 7 | |
1389626864 | 1389765449 | t3_1v40gw | t5_2to41 | 36 | Asshat1stclass: TIFU by giving my dog hot sauce
I have to dogs and they both love human food (of course). One is a golden retriever and the other is a retriever/chow. So, we decided to give them a couple of pretzels dipped in hot sauce. To our surprise they want more! When dinnertime came around we mixed in hot sauce w... | 4 | 9 | |
1389620914 | 1389824621 | t3_1v3ts2 | t5_2to41 | 16 | bags_groove: TIFU by showing my gf 'Antichrist'
I thought it would be a good idea to do a 'Lars Von Trier film festival' before watching 'Nymphomaniac' at the movies this week. It was sunday, it was raining, we were getting comfy... She closed her eyes in the whole third chapter and I think she hates me a little bit no... | 4 | 4 | |
1389414828 | 1389679756 | t3_1uxtj5 | t5_2to41 | 44 | Locrian_DM: TIFU by peeing in the tub
This happened about 12 years ago, but it was just about the worst thing I've ever done while pissing. /u/PEE_EYE_THROWAWAY reminded me with his post [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1uvbk5/tifu_by_peeing_in_the_shower/).
I took a trip up north by myself when I was abo... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1389634644 | 1389675208 | t3_1v4bei | t5_2to41 | 205 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my room smell like rotten cum
I was cumming inside the lid of a cologne every time I masturbated in a span of one month and hid it somewhere safe every time I finished the job. I accumulated a copious amount of cum inside a small container lid and it was starting to smell disgusting, but I did... | 6 | 34.166667 | |
1389639255 | 1389640771 | t3_1v4ifx | t5_2to41 | 20 | Throwaway19234553: TIFU by cutting my scrotum while trimming my pubic hair
I was in the bathroom trimming my bush and was getting down to the balls, obviously you have to be extra careful when you are trimming down there, but stupid me wasn't paying attention and I sliced my scrotum. Luckily there's a second layer (app... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1389639811 | 1389655376 | t3_1v4jca | t5_2to41 | 78 | Kuekuatsheu: TIFU by being a selfish asshole and ruining a "Pay it Backward" chain.
Today I failed humanity and I am profusely sorry.
Early this morning, the lady in the car in front of me at Starbucks paid for my order. I was so flabbergasted that I didn’t even think to do the same and pay for the car behind me. (I k... | 3 | 26 | |
1389642441 | 1389900406 | t3_1v4nm4 | t5_2to41 | 31 | AlexBayArea: TIFU by laughing at a client at work
So long story short. I have a huge call to make to a client that could pay my company nearly 20k per month which would be a huge win for me but instead I call this client whose last name is Dumbas and completely burst out laughing when I say her full name.
whoops.
los... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1389643774 | 1389821189 | t3_1v4ppv | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate by taking out my id on subway
**Original Story:** [Here](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1umeoj/tifu_by_taking_my_id_out_on_subway/)
**The update:** So the security officer that was kind of being an asshole to me, I had found out some pretty shocking news that made me feel bad about posting ... | 4 | 8 | |
1389672058 | 1389717208 | t3_1v5ywb | t5_2to41 | 603 | TooLazyToRepost: TIFU by attempting minor surgery on my own testicles.
A little over a week ago, I was sitting down to go to the restroom when I noticed a pain on the skin of one of my balls. After finishing up, I examined myself and found that one of my hair follicles was swollen-looking and surrounded by redness. Thi... | 8 | 75.375 | |
1389660289 | 1389765723 | t3_1v5gtz | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a penis joke before a group prayer and then giggling uncontrollably throughout it
This happened a few months ago, but it just dawned on me to share this story now. And by that I mean I was reminiscing on the moment and cringing at what happened. So, without further ado, my story.
Our school's... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1389671240 | 1389725628 | t3_1v5xr4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Vicepresidentjp: TIFU by missing my cake day
Bye Karma train :'(
WPBDoc: I've always wondered? How does know when one's cake day is?
lostdeceiver: When it is your cake day an icon of a piece of cake appears next to your name in posts. Your cake day is the day you signed up for a reddit account. If you forgot the day [... | 4 | 1 | |
1389671218 | 1389689540 | t3_1v5xpp | t5_2to41 | 191 | PopRockRoll: TIFU by requesting a website be unbanned.
So, I am a 17 year old, so still in high school. My school has notoriously bad web filters. Everything is blocked. So I went onto Codecademy, and since it had been a while I decided to redo a lesson. Blocked. I sent a request to IT, because , shit, it's educational... | 6 | 31.833333 | |
1389678584 | 1390015783 | t3_1v67yy | t5_2to41 | 43 | t3jem: TIFU by sitting... on my toe.
It was a nice warm afternoon and I was working on some micro-controllers for a hobby project. I was doing this in my office using a tall chair to sit on. After about 30 minutes of tinkering I finally get something to work and excitedly stand up. Since I'm tired of my previous pos... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1389683422 | 1389696138 | t3_1v6d06 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Caseyc17: TIFU @ my company christmas party...
im the chef at the restaurant i work at. we had our christmas party last night, at my aunt/owner's house. we all got really really drunk at the party then wenout to a bar after. i ended up crashing at the managers apartment and sleeping with one of the waitresses who works... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1389665020 | 1389844080 | t3_1v5o73 | t5_2to41 | 9 | TAXKOLLECTOR: TIFU by loosing a 400$ iPad that has lots of my homework and what not
so i showed up early to swim practice and went to the cafeteria that the place has. sat there talked with friends and left because i had to change and take a shit. i took my swim bag and coat but not my school bag which has various stu... | 3 | 3 | |
1389710005 | 1389766407 | t3_1v6x8e | t5_2to41 | 1,312 | [deleted]: TIFU by popping an infected ingrown hair.
This was a couple years ago, right before I moved out of my parents place. I only just remembered it when my mother reminded me at dinner last night (shortly you'll know why that statement is mildly humorous).
I had taken to trimming my manly bits as a young lad, as... | 8 | 164 | |
1389707894 | 1389719453 | t3_1v6uyl | t5_2to41 | 11 | SirenOnTheWaves: TIFU by potentially ruining a deal for a fledgling local business
My mother and a friend of her's have just started a business making/selling dog biscuits. Neither of them knows much at all about advertising and/or marketing, and having managed my own business for years (working in the entertainment in... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1389721044 | 1390928412 | t3_1v7csx | t5_2to41 | 299 | Texas-flood: TIFU by being under my parents bed [NSFW]
Ok so this happened when I was 6 years old. I lived in California at the time, and in the Greater LA area. Needless to say it never snowed. Well my parents wake me up one night to let me see snow for the first time ever at like 12:15 AM. Looks cool man... feels col... | 5 | 59.8 | |
1389719538 | 1389829244 | t3_1v7ad5 | t5_2to41 | 44 | StalkerDodger: TIFU by, what else, shitting my pants.
This is just a plain sad story of a commuter student who trusted one too many farts. There have been many close calls in my career as a commuter student, days where the need to poo struck my bowels with the force of a Rancor, but today was not one of those days. I f... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1389848968 | 1389900492 | t3_1v7tex | t5_2to41 | 8 | t3jem: 4 grand is quite a chunk of change :)
ApexTechnicalSchool: Damnit, I can't tell if you're flirting with me or not!
mark0210: I'd take your chunk, OP ;)
No, for real, I'm poor.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1389727320 | 1389894710 | t3_1v7mvv | t5_2to41 | 30 | eirinlinn: TIFU by buying foundation that doesn't match my skin.
Everything looked as though matched my skin tone when i was inside applying it; but when I stepped outside it looks like I'm wearing brownface.
What makes it better is the fact that I'm on my way to drop of a job application and there isn't anything I ca... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1389735618 | 1389759684 | t3_1v80p4 | t5_2to41 | 80 | DangerousUnicorn: TIFU by shitting my pants at the gym
Well today I decided to go to the gym since I'm on exam break. I was going trough my work out when I noticed that my abs felt strange, like they were being squeezed really tight, but I just carried on hoping it'd go away. I went onto do some chin-ups then some pull... | 5 | 16 | |
1389737934 | 1389772173 | t3_1v84kv | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU by dyeing my hair orange before traveling internationally
So Reddit, TIFU by potentially destroying my *extremely* expensive and long awaited trip to Europe for four months, which I'm going on through the generosity of some friends who live there, and by saving money with 39 hours worth of layovers.
An... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1389757015 | 1389809159 | t3_1v8y8g | t5_2to41 | 1,563 | fur-throwaway-: TIFU by wearing an ill-fitting swimsuit.
I went to the pool with my little cousin today, and I was too damn excited to wear my new two-piece. It was a little loose on my bony-ass frame, but it was cute, and it was the best-fitting one they had it in the style.
My little cousin urged me to go on one of ... | 11 | 142.090909 | |
1389766894 | 1389788489 | t3_1v9b02 | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU Big Time...Twice
So around 2:50 this afternoon I left my house with my cat and set off for the Vet. I get inside and begin making small talk with this quiet guy sitting next to me in the waiting room. The chatting seemed a little forced and he says that he might starve to death if it takes any longer. ... | 3 | 19.333333 | |
1389772181 | 1390007640 | t3_1v9fpx | t5_2to41 | 152 | [deleted]: TIFU by practicing my evasive maneuvers
So I'm driving home after a long day, and I'm on the highway. It's a two lane highway, I'm in the right lane, and some car starts riding my ass with its brights on and blinding me.
I'm a combat vet, who drove over 150,000 miles through Iraq with a high level of PTSD ... | 8 | 19 | |
1389789581 | 1389827347 | t3_1v9rby | t5_2to41 | 6 | KThxBaiNao: TIFU By Choosing the Wrong Person
So, it wasn't today.
It was two years ago in my freshman year of college. There was this girl named Alexa. I was hanging out doing laundry in the dorm building of one of my friends when she walked in. We didn't say anything, just kind of made eye contact. As she was leaving... | 3 | 2 | |
1389790599 | 1389887253 | t3_1v9s6l | t5_2to41 | 4 | Noctuae: TIFU by overthinking, overreacting, and almost scaring off an awesome girl.
So I met this girl online and we hit things off really well. We both fell for each other really fast. We talked about how crazy it was how fast things seemed to happen but initially were both okay with it.
Eventually, she messaged me ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1389818342 | 1389829718 | t3_1vavtw | t5_2to41 | 17 | HaZyFaZy: TIFU by getting dressed in front of my girlfriend, shitting myself at work, trying to sneak home and shower up, but instead get accused of cheating because I was "...wearing underwear this morning! Now what happened to them, cheater?!"
Yep. Another story about someone shitting themselves.
cody246: Hahaha tel... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1389805739 | 1389829589 | t3_1vab1x | t5_2to41 | 774 | Deadly_Mindbeam: TIFU By not muting my tablet during a company meeting
Long story short, I was in an hours long meeting, browsing reddit on my tablet to pass the time during the boring parts. Clicking around I see an article about a DEA raid in Colorado. I clicked the link, ready to get my rage on, and it turns out to ... | 8 | 96.75 | |
1389820580 | 1389878716 | t3_1vazpi | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by accepting insurance on a concert ticket.
I don't even remember seeing a fucking box for the insurance anywhere but I'll be damned if it didn't charge me $7 for a 4 hour show. Didn't even know ticket insurance was a thing.
EazyFries: $7 isn't really that big of a fuck up.
JeremyR22: I sure wish that ... | 3 | 2 | |
1389828014 | 1390470595 | t3_1vbcpj | t5_2to41 | 1,658 | Moosemaster21: TIFU by grabbing a fat lady's boob.
So I took a road trip with a couple of my best friends (one of whom is quite large) to California this week just to have a little fun and get out of the cold (we live in Minneapolis). My friends and I are very comfortable with each other. We're all straight guys, but w... | 11 | 150.727273 | |
1389847265 | 1389848201 | t3_1vc72p | t5_2to41 | 35 | adj1: TIFU by listening to music and not paying attention
Not today, but whatever. I was working at my Aunt's as they were building a new house and I needed work that summer. I did whatever I could as they built this huge mansion. When there wasn't much for me to do around the house I would work on the grounds, which w... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1389849208 | 1390274700 | t3_1vc9pl | t5_2to41 | 107 | tomtom24ever: TIFU by admitting to my mother that I fap and illegally torrent porn. I'm in High School and my mother just received a letter from my internet service company about porn being torrented illegally.
Before I rant about this, lemme fill you in. My mom's never caught me in the act and I do torrent from time t... | 20 | 5.35 | |
1389848211 | 1389931917 | t3_1vc8e1 | t5_2to41 | 129 | daBroviest: TIFU like eight times in quick succession.
Aight. Here goes.
So today was finals, and I got to my building at around 7:30 AM, yet the test wasn't going to start until 11:10. Alright, I thought to myself, cool. I'll have some time to waste playing mindless games on my laptop.
So I open up my MacBook and st... | 5 | 25.8 | |
1389864588 | 1389876221 | t3_1vcnzd | t5_2to41 | 18 | SHowerSHitShame: Reset the counter...
SnooSnooCookie: But painkillers are just make people really constipated. I've never heard of it the other way round.
IWantAFuckingUsename: It depends, if they were opiate painkillers then yeah, they would have made him constipated.
SnooSnooCookie: There are other types of painkill... | 6 | 3 | |
1389871333 | 1389901764 | t3_1vcsfw | t5_2to41 | 27 | 42037044: TIFU by swimming in someone else's pool
Okay, so I was at a rather expensive ($3mil +) house, helping out at a photo-shoot to pick up some extra cash over the school holidays. It was a hot ass day, and being a house with such a price tag it did have a saltwater swimming pool. After several hours of hauling he... | 3 | 9 | |
1389883779 | 1389887335 | t3_1vd3rb | t5_2to41 | 33 | boxedblue: TIFU by writing a poem
This is all happening as I write this, but earlier this morning, I wrote a joking poem about one of the English teachers at my school, and posted it on our community news forum. Apparently everyone who saw it found it offensive.....so now I have emails from the dean telling me to meet ... | 4 | 8.25 | |
1389884018 | 1389911398 | t3_1vd427 | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU three times by reading other posts here and thinking "That doesn't seem too bad"
So earlier today I was scrolling through some posts and someone compared getting chili oil on your dick to setting it on fire. I was all like "Ha Pussy I bet that doesn't even hurt that much". You know what's coming. The ve... | 7 | 6.428571 | |
1389894665 | 1390080428 | t3_1vdk2m | t5_2to41 | 851 | fileroomtroll: TIFU by flushing the toilet
I am at my friends house smoking hooka and watching sports center, just hanging out on a nice calm wednesday night. After about twenty minutes I feel a rumbling in my body that can only mean one thing, time to get to the bathroom. At this point I was at a cross roads in my mi... | 9 | 94.555556 | |
1389893236 | 1389904027 | t3_1vdhtf | t5_2to41 | 5 | thepottsy: TIFU Almost had the worst lunch ever
I guess this would really be a "Today I Almost Fucked Up", but this seemed the most appropriate sub to share it. My girlfriend will sometimes pack my lunch for me to take to work. For today, she packed me some soup, a ham and cheese sandwich, some wheat thins, and an or... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1389885191 | 1390002232 | t3_1vd5lz | t5_2to41 | 94 | bacon_flavored: TIFU by thinking it couldn't get any worse...
Backround: I suffer from chronic back pain due to desiccated L4 and L5 causing pinched nerves. I have no history of migraines or headaches, but have had a migraine since Christmas. The many pills I've had to take for both the back pain and migraine have left... | 4 | 23.5 | |
1389901395 | 1389902083 | t3_1vdv3y | t5_2to41 | 18 | unabashedtortureporn: TIFU by discovering that my very recent ex girlfriend is pregnant.
And refuses to have anything to do with me, despite my promise (and I really do mean it) to support her and the child in any way that she sees fit. I do not want to be a deadbeat dad and make her raise another child on her own, but... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1389883572 | 1389903517 | t3_1vd3i0 | t5_2to41 | 61 | Lunapsyche: TIFU By Loudly announcing Baby Jesus Buttplugs exist.
Technically this was about a month or so ago. I was at a partner's house hanging out with a friend of ours, S, while my partner, E, was getting help from his dad removing his old tv and replacing it with a shiny new one. This was after it had gotten mo... | 3 | 20.333333 | |
1389902042 | 1390789500 | t3_1vdw8o | t5_2to41 | 117 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking at another redditors post history
So I was on a NSFW sub recently. And I *love* the comment section of these subs. So I'm reading and one of the comments was like "you just recently said you were 16, now you're 18?"
So, I click the users profile and yep, they had a post claiming to be a 16 ... | 4 | 29.25 | |
1389906349 | 1389907162 | t3_1ve3k5 | t5_2to41 | 15 | dawsonm69: Tifu by eating cereal
So last night my stomach was sore and I just thought it was from hockey practice and would be better in the morning. I wake up this morning still not feeling good but fuck it I will live. So first period at school I'm really not feeling good and decide I will call home. Skip to about 4:... | 3 | 5 | |
1389906740 | 1390002746 | t3_1ve48m | t5_2to41 | 17 | shitty-vagina: TIFU by taking my iron tablets
So quick backstory: Last year I went to the doctor to find out I'm ever so slightly anemic, and have to take these iron tablets, which I took for a few days then stopped as my body didn't agree at all (the shits, to be so crude).
So, new year, I thought I'd try to get healt... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1389913375 | 1390051148 | t3_1vefhr | t5_2to41 | 58 | Mandotar: TIFU by making a suggestive gesture during class
I just walked into class when my teacher noticed that my pants were the same color as his. He made a comment about how the only difference between our pants was that his pockets were on the seam and mine were horizontal. (This is the embarrassing part) I then s... | 3 | 19.333333 | |
1389918776 | 1390240830 | t3_1veo0t | t5_2to41 | 336 | tortillaandcheese: TIFU by leaving my account up on my boyfriend's computer
And now I'm considering posting a bunch of shit everywhere. Just so much shit.
This is going to be fun.
**Edit: Welp, hey guys. Aforementioned girlfriend speaking. You are true visionaries.**
SirSilentBob: That awkward moment when you look ... | 8 | 42 | |
1389918591 | 1389973410 | t3_1venqa | t5_2to41 | 50 | MalcolmPecs: TIFU by letting my daughter play with my iphone
Tuesday I Fucked Up while trying to potty-train my daughter (almost 2 years old). She's sittin' on tha toilet not peeing or pooping, and I'm trying to patiently sit next to her, waiting. I pull out my phone to check my mail or something, and she immediately... | 8 | 6.25 | |
1389924801 | 1390007130 | t3_1vex8m | t5_2to41 | 32 | silenceisviolence: TIFU by wanting to get myself off, NSFW.
So, I woke up from an incredibly great sexual dream this afternoon and I couldn't shake the horniness I felt. Now, I hardly ever masturbate. I think the last time I tried was six months ago. My roommate left the house about an hour later and I thought it would... | 4 | 8 | |
1389925175 | 1389928509 | t3_1vextx | t5_2to41 | 17 | kidcanada3514: TIFU by listening to pear pressure
tifu so i have/had long hair and everyone i know tells me i need a haircut. I admit i did kind of need a haircut. so i went to the hair place down the street i said i wanted a bit of length taken of the top but mostly the side cleaned up. nope showed up for school and t... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1389919440 | 1389930067 | t3_1vep1c | t5_2to41 | 31 | mercedesrayne: TIFU by cooking dinner.
So I am almost done cooking some potatoes and broccoli. Chicken is in the oven and almost done. Ahhh yisss.
There is a drawer on the bottom of the oven, and usually we store metal pans etc. down there. In a moment of pure genius I decide to put a plastic cutting board down with t... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1389932545 | 1390195439 | t3_1vf8hz | t5_2to41 | 92 | JunkyGS: TIFU By showing my Mom /r/gonewild
My mom enters my room to talk to me, while i was browsing the all page on reddit, she tells me to turn around and talk to her and as I do my mouse scrolls over a gone wild link and I have an extension on google chrome that opens up pictures without having to click the link, s... | 8 | 11.5 | |
1389941573 | 1390002968 | t3_1vfj9u | t5_2to41 | 566 | takatori: TIFU by telling my office assistant "I love you."
In my company we have a dedicated office assistant (secretary) for each departmental group of about 10-12 people.
Ours is a very nice, reasonably attractive single woman about six years younger than I. Though I didn't think much of it at the time, last month... | 9 | 62.888889 | |
1389939149 | 1390165292 | t3_1vfgsk | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU: Getting a midnight hand job
Okay it wasn't today. It was New years eve. it only occurred to me to post this a few seconds ago.
Long story short, me and my SO spend new years eve together up in my room. We were cuddling and watchinf movies and making out and such. The typical teenager shit. Well, I got... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1389933482 | 1389994358 | t3_1vf9tu | t5_2to41 | 199 | gh0stfl0wers: TIFU by having skype sex with my door open
Oh my god... literally just happened...
Quick backstory: I am female and just got a new roommate (male) after my old roommate had to move out for financial reasons. Our bedroom doors are right next to each other and he has to walk by my room to get to the kitche... | 13 | 15.307692 | |
1389948429 | 1389974889 | t3_1vfokh | t5_2to41 | -7 | earthtopj: TIFU by hanging up on a pissed off doctor
I'm a male nurse and I have a patient I've never met before because she was first, new to me, second, she was never in her room to introduce myself because she was in an appointment.
Story is this patient didn't come back to our facility and we were worried because ... | 3 | -2.333333 | |
1389979684 | 1389980802 | t3_1vgjqg | t5_2to41 | 2 | FartShit: tifu by faling a speling test
NMShoe: I can tell...
FartShit: u got a fucking problem w/ me M8?
NMShoe: What? No. It was just painful to read.
FartShit: ur face is gonna be painful wen i smash it in
NMShoe: The pen is mightier than the sword. You just can't use it right.
| 6 | 0.333333 | |
1389985862 | 1390023814 | t3_1vgtkc | t5_2to41 | 47 | Unclejesster: TIFU by seeing traps on a customer's phone.
I work in industrial sales and customers regularly bring in pictures of parts and assemblies on their phone. Usually they just bring up a picture and explain what exactly they are looking for. Sometimes they hand the phone over so I can get a better look.
Abo... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1389991736 | 1390144896 | t3_1vh2py | t5_2to41 | 124 | tobiss: TIFU by forgetting to close out the porn on my IPad
I restored my IPad this morning, so when it was done i was feeling horny. However, Crome had not finished downloading yet, so I used the private mode in Safari. I totally forget about this by the time school starts. So third block comes around, and my friend a... | 7 | 17.714286 | |
1389994490 | 1390057431 | t3_1vh733 | t5_2to41 | 534 | Sultice: TIFU by playing poker (piss story)
This happened about about 4 years ago, so not exactly a recent fuck up, but figured I'd share/tell someone...
4 years ago I was playing a lot of online poker, doing ok with it all in all. I used to play some reasonably expensive tournaments, like 50-200$ buy-ins. Because of ... | 5 | 106.8 | |
1390065266 | 1390106621 | t3_1vj5s6 | t5_2to41 | 843 | unicorninabottle: TIFU by hitting a baby with an iPhone
I was at a birthday party of a friend of mine and the family was there too. Next to me, on someone's lap was a baby of 1 and a half month old. It had been eyeing me for the entire 30 minutes I was sat next to him as I was a 'new, unknown' person to him.
So I was ... | 10 | 84.3 |
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