start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1390742655 | 1390787755 | t3_1w6w6b | t5_2to41 | 26 | nathanm8: TIFU by dropping my iphone in a shit box.
Today, as it is Australia Day I went out to a public concert because it was free and I was meeting up with some relatives.
Upon arriving and seeing the family, I felt the unmistakable urge to take a shit. These events normally have porta-loos, and this one did but... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1390747564 | 1390780263 | t3_1w70kg | t5_2to41 | 2,542 | legitsh1t: TIFU by jizzing in my mom's bed
So, we'll start off with some context: I'm in my early 20s. I live with my mom(Feel free to laugh, it's free and she cooks). I work nights, meaning I sleep all day. My bedroom is in the perfect position for the sun to shine full force, even with the blinds down. My mom's bedro... | 12 | 211.833333 | |
1390747620 | 1390802489 | t3_1w70ma | t5_2to41 | 98 | toomuchheatforawhore: TIFU by packing too much heat for a whore
This is the only place I can think of to unload this story, and I'm still figuring it out in my head. It happened today, and I definitely feel like I fucked up, somehow - probably in a number of ways.
So, background. I'm a mid-twenties software developer ... | 5 | 19.6 | |
1390749967 | 1390772857 | t3_1w735l | t5_2to41 | 956 | mnw96: TIFU by leaving my my homemade fleshlight in the shower.
I'm not even going to bother using a throwaway for this one. It was shower time and I was hating myself more than usual this morning, so with the "fuck-cup" in hand I went to the bathroom. All was going well and when the shame kicked in I deiced to get out... | 9 | 106.222222 | |
1390740160 | 1390797825 | t3_1w6ufo | t5_2to41 | 22 | Sultice: TIFU by pulling a prank
Backstory: I used to work at a restaurant at a golf resort. At the resort there was an office building, where a secretary took care of golf-stuff, like managing scorecards, handling fees etc. Every day she'd come over, grab a coffee and small-talk with whoever was working, me and her go... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1390725035 | 1390886484 | t3_1w6koy | t5_2to41 | 18 | Thencexperience: Tifu by saying too much
First off, I accept my assholeish acts that I committed. Second, I also accept that you're all probably going to tell me that I'm an asshole for doing this. And you'd be 100% right.
Ysk, I'm 17 years old and a junior.
While this is a wall of text, this is still the abridged v... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1390764479 | 1390863372 | t3_1w7oan | t5_2to41 | 138 | coffins: TIFU by accidentally taking Seroquel instead of Adderall.
So I've been on Seroquel for about four years now and recently started taking Adderall.
I have two midterms tomorrow and decided to start studying again after my lunch. I mindlessly took my Seroquel, which is at 200 mgs (high enough dosage to knock y... | 5 | 27.6 | |
1390763844 | 1390767817 | t3_1w7n8c | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: By waking up late
Due to a fight I had with my dad the night prior, I ended up fapping ridiculously to cope with shaming and wasting my time (playing world of tanks instead of studying for exam on monday). Ended up waking up late, and missing my volunteer shift. I made up some bullshit excuse, but know I'm a... | 3 | 3 | |
1390763614 | 1390782410 | t3_1w7mv3 | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TIFU by going after my three month old puppy
I just begun my day, had breakfast down, fed the two dogs, fed the two year old nephew, diaper change, two dogs outside to go potty, TV going for entertainment. Oh, and took care of the cat too.
The problem? One of my dogs is a three month old Great Dane puppy. ... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1390761670 | 1390768565 | t3_1w7jqi | t5_2to41 | 29 | gogofdsa: TIFU by dropping a course that I can't register again
Alright so I'm a freshman at uni and it's my first time ever registering courses online and whatnot. So this course I'm taking has many places reserved for freshmen who have their first semester (it's my second btw). So I see my friend's section has a coup... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1390769522 | 1390793503 | t3_1w7wtn | t5_2to41 | 123 | NaughtyNutsackNinja: TIFU by flashing my sack
So I was hanging out with my mates during our lunch break (I'm 16 BTW), and - unbeknownst to me - I had a rather large hole in the center of my trousers. As our conversation goes on, most of us are sitting on tables (Note, ALMOST all of us). At one point, one of us - lets c... | 8 | 15.375 | |
1390785351 | 1390847417 | t3_1w8mxw | t5_2to41 | 2,656 | Mark_Zhues: TIFU by watching a Disney movie
The end of the first term for my school tomorrow, and before then I have two papers due, as well as three exams and an art project for my portfolio that needs to be finished, not to mention a handful of interviews that I still need to prepare for.
However, earlier this week... | 19 | 139.789474 | |
1390793985 | 1390837246 | t3_1w90f8 | t5_2to41 | 5 | mharrison310: TIFU by letting my OCD get the better of me.
TIFU because of alphabetical order, apparently my inner OCD spirit animal decided that having hard drives in a certain order was not good enough and that I should fix it. Originally I had my C drive as my OS, My E drive as movies, F drive as programs, and H dri... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1390806683 | 1390864456 | t3_1w9hjf | t5_2to41 | 134 | Uncivil_: TIFU by getting hydrochloric acid on my junk
Ok, so my doctor prescribed a 24 hour urine test to check my adrenaline production. This involves getting given a big plastic container with a screw cap to pee into for 24 hours. They also give you a funnel with it, which I incorrectly assumed was for chicks, or ma... | 5 | 26.8 | |
1390808267 | 1390822221 | t3_1w9j1u | t5_2to41 | 5 | ThrowawayYourCarrots: Tifu by forgetting to throw a carrot away
DownUnderDude: As one 13 y.o to another, **dude**.
ThrowawayYourCarrots: What?
DownUnderDude: Why?
ThrowawayYourCarrots: Why did I do it?
DownUnderDude: Yes.
ThrowawayYourCarrots: Pleasure, why else would one masturbate?
XxShadyWolfxX: To keep your semen... | 8 | 0.625 | |
1390811257 | 1390927006 | t3_1w9llv | t5_2to41 | 0 | 0ddba11: TIFU by using GIT to delete all my source.
Whew, I'm finally done with this short but complicated parallel programming project! Better throw it in a GIT repository and push it out to the server for testing!
git init
git add .
Whoops, added a vim .swp file. Better remove it from the commit... actual... | 3 | 0 | |
1390812768 | 1390933421 | t3_1w9msz | t5_2to41 | 369 | [deleted]: TIFU by shoving a bar of soap up my ass/
I need a quick fast laxative that was cheap. I was using the reliable source that is wikianswers and someone said that their mother used to shove soap up their ass to encourage the poops explode. I had a date in a couple of hours and I had been farting a lot so I deci... | 9 | 41 | |
1390805183 | 1390993006 | t3_1w9g0i | t5_2to41 | 21 | Taketheheat: Tifu by holding a baby
2 days ago I burned my arm quite badly with an incredibly hot crimping iron, giving myself 3 second degree burns. Tifu by accidentally holding my neighbors baby on my burned arm. The baby started giggling and squirming and ripped one of the burns open. I nearly cried.
CherryZuber: C... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1390816615 | 1390856751 | t3_1w9pmb | t5_2to41 | 16 | TheKoG69: TIFU by Making out with the wrong person
So some back story to start off. I am a Senior in High School, and have been dating this girl for 6 months.
Now today I got really high and went to the mall with a few friends, and sat on the couch outside one of the stores we went in. I cuddled for a bit with a frien... | 6 | 2.666667 | |
1390817644 | 1390825502 | t3_1w9qcb | t5_2to41 | 18 | pushing1: TIFU by telling my ''girlfriend'' i liked her....
and oh how it hurt.
So I've been dating this girl for about month. We get on really well we've kissed and talk often. Today i asked her if she wanted to ''go out''. The distinction between going out and dating is a subjective one to me so i thought asking h... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1390793044 | 1390947394 | t3_1w8yze | t5_2to41 | 79 | Dalek_Klet: TIFU by forgetting humans can't breathe water.
Not quite as majestic as other stories, but it's fairly amusing, so here goes:
Today I had a swim meet where my first event was the 50 free. 3/4 of the way through swimming it, I was about ready to take another breath. The problem was that I was so focused on... | 5 | 15.8 | |
1390823621 | 1390866618 | t3_1w9ujt | t5_2to41 | 258 | Angry_Woman: TIFU by shitting all over my own leg :(
I haven't been feeling the best and spent most of my day in bed with a migraine. I decided to get up for a while and have something to eat for dinner since I hadn't eaten all day. The rest of my family had eaten chicken schnitzel and wedges for dinner and I had the l... | 7 | 36.857143 | |
1390823493 | 1390936245 | t3_1w9ugn | t5_2to41 | 661 | fartberg: TIFU by ripping a loud, booming fart in Subway.
Yesterday, I went to the local Subway to get a footlong meatball sandwich. I was the only person in the whole place besides the 5 sandwich artists behind the counter. I got my sandwich, and sat in a booth and began to eat. I felt a fart coming on and decided I c... | 12 | 55.083333 | |
1390833143 | 1390872084 | t3_1wa3e4 | t5_2to41 | -9 | [deleted]: TIFU by cheating on my girlfriend
So yesterday we had a huge party during the day where I proceeded to get absolutely hammered. When I went to get some lunch post party even the sandwich lady called me out for being too drunk. So I come home and take a small cat nap, starting to kinda sober up, but had no
i... | 8 | -1.125 | |
1390837418 | 1391182810 | t3_1wa9b0 | t5_2to41 | 147 | NewAccountJusForThis: TIFU during a quick interaction with my PUBLIC SPEACH professor.
I took a public speaking class in college. The point of this class was to increase self confidence when speaking with others or to large groups. As the "class clown" type, I've always been able to quickly think on my feet, and genera... | 6 | 24.5 | |
1390813146 | 1390847096 | t3_1w9n3z | t5_2to41 | 42 | muqi: TIFU in a debate round
TIFU in Congressional Debate (think Model UN style where we debate items of legislation) at a tournament. I listen to a speech from some first-year on ending aid to Pakistan. He kept saying "We have to pull out." and "The pull out method will work."
I had some legitimate question for him ... | 5 | 8.4 | |
1390842826 | 1390948288 | t3_1wai71 | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by fucking a prostitute and cumming inside her.
Well today I was feeling a bit bored and decided to visit a brothel. I'm a single guy and I do this about once every fortnight.
I make it to my usual Asian brothel and was led into a room to meet a Korean girl named "Amy", slim, long black hair, fake med... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1390851712 | 1390857358 | t3_1way0g | t5_2to41 | 45 | supstern: TIFU by shoing my 9 year old cousin a porn site
My cousin and I are really close. She's like the little sister I never had. Anyway I asked her if she wanted to see a really funny youtube video and of course she said "yeah!" I went to type "youtube.com" but being excited and not watching what I was typing I ... | 6 | 7.5 | |
1390852356 | 1390862011 | t3_1waz6w | t5_2to41 | 36 | Anti-Semitic_Unicorn: TIFU by drawing a picture
Now, let me start by saying I am literally an Israeli citizen, my parents are immigrants, and my entire family is Jewish or atheist, I am not an anti-Semitic person.
That said, I will explain my situation. I am a high-school student. Today in cooking class I was sittin... | 4 | 9 | |
1390846759 | 1390925408 | t3_1wap43 | t5_2to41 | 48 | HumpingTheShark: TIFU by being a nice person.
So, I was just strolling down the town center today when an attractive young woman came up to me, smiled a wonderful smile at me and showed me her clipboard. I skimmed the headline of the sheet - apparently it was some kind of petition for the establishment of a school for ... | 4 | 12 | |
1390854923 | 1390878056 | t3_1wb42t | t5_2to41 | 16 | fidoburger: TMIFU by being a wage slave.
My first fuckup starts about two weeks ago when the polar vortex first extended it's icy grasp over southern Indiana. I am (possibly formerly) employed full-time as a delivery driver for ~~GIANT HORRIBLE PIZZA CORPORATION~~ and have been for over two years. So naturally making l... | 11 | 1.454545 | |
1390854533 | 1390892392 | t3_1wb3bz | t5_2to41 | 1,687 | OpusCrocus: TIFU by trying to aim a vomiting cat
My elderly cat started to puke on the bedroom carpet and I figured if I shifted her over two feet to the bathroom I could do a paper towel clean up instead of a more involved carpet washer clean up.
I grabbed for the cat mid-puke and she struggled. As I held on to my 5 ... | 7 | 241 | |
1390855224 | 1390900322 | t3_1wb4mv | t5_2to41 | 18 | DeeLock: TIFU at work..
I'm a mechanic and was doing a clutch replacement which was straight forward enough apart from a couple off annoying time consuming things. As I tried to get the job done quickly I rushed to much and didn't completely insert the Shaft into the box. I didn't notice this until I went to drive it o... | 6 | 3 | |
1390861529 | 1390950533 | t3_1wbg5a | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying jerky chew
The fuck up happened last night actually but lets move on. I was in san jose last night visiting my grandma with my friend and i decide to go try that jack links jerky chew so me and my friend take a quick trip down the street.
We get to the 7-11 and buy the jerky chew and im tryin... | 7 | 3.285714 | |
1390867813 | 1390877463 | t3_1wbrgh | t5_2to41 | 36 | Corpraly086: TIFU by making a pregnant woman walk more than she should.
So, I'm working as a guard at the moment and I'm responsible for one of the entrances of the apartment blocks. I make sure than only residents that live in the complex enter, and grab details of other people that are visiting. Now, all residents wi... | 6 | 6 | |
1390870545 | 1390914237 | t3_1wbw90 | t5_2to41 | 93 | dickcaughtinzip: TIFU by wearing a onesie
So I went shopping yesterday and saw a onesie. I thought i might as well by one and try it out, see what the big craze is about.
So I put it on to go to bed and I loved it. It was warm and comfy. So I decided to wear it to bed tonight. Bad idea.
So I put it on and go on my ... | 7 | 13.285714 | |
1390873559 | 1390921218 | t3_1wc1ga | t5_2to41 | 44 | svanzura: TIFU by scarring a nice Chinese woman
A little backstory: I'm a freshman in college, and recently moved back for my second semester. I've been a little homesick, and to remedy this, I was looking through old pictures of me and my friends from high school. I stumbled upon a picture of me and my best friend pos... | 4 | 11 | |
1390875319 | 1390958622 | t3_1wc4eh | t5_2to41 | 46 | Shart_Blaster_5000: TIFU by sharting in my pants.
Well, it wasn't today, it was about a year ago.
So I Hadn't been feeling very well that week but it wasn't any kind of sickeness detrimental to my stomach. Until I sharted, I thought nothing of it.
Anyway I'm on my bed with my laptop laying on my side. I feel a fart... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1390879283 | 1390885761 | t3_1wcb0u | t5_2to41 | 70 | ProteinFartThrowaway: TIFU by drinking too much protein
Oh god, where to start on this one. Using a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm a college student at a large university, in the midwest. They announced that campus is shut down for tomorrow. Hell yeah, right? It's time to fucking riot! Earlier, I worked out at the ... | 8 | 8.75 | |
1390881915 | 1391006888 | t3_1wcf97 | t5_2to41 | 93 | Chefhitt: TIFU by showing the server at a Thai restaurant a picture of my son.
My wife and I used to frequent this great Thai place near our house. We went there a couple of times a month, sometimes more, through all nine months of my wife being pregnant with our son and for about two years after our son was born. The... | 7 | 13.285714 | |
1390886388 | 1390887599 | t3_1wclok | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting Super Hexagon for my phone
For anyone who doesn't know, Super Hexagon is a really trippy game where you keep a dot from being crushed by sides of partial shapes that converge on a central shape that starts a a hexagon but can morph. Its hard to explain.
I can say that I've been sitting on th... | 4 | 2 | |
1390898481 | 1390974265 | t3_1wcxqf | t5_2to41 | 253 | Mydrasis: TIFU By taking a shit
I'm typing this just as is happened. i'm at work and a moment ago i felt an urge.
No problem, and i calmly walk down the stairs to the unheated room where the toilet is located. I pull down my pants and start browsing reddit while nice, healthy, solid shitlings leave the confines of my ... | 6 | 42.166667 | |
1390917441 | 1390966652 | t3_1wdblf | t5_2to41 | 203 | 673: TIFU by letting my cat sleep in my bed.
My gf of 5 years broke up with me recently so my bed felt really empty. To have some company I let my elderly cat sleep in my bed, which I don't do often because she usually wants to get out of my room to get food early in the morning. And when she wants something, she'll le... | 5 | 40.6 | |
1390917543 | 1390974273 | t3_1wdbp4 | t5_2to41 | 122 | foamsword: TIFU by accidentally telling my minister to "fucking go for that ass"
So, my minister and my best friend are right next to eachother in my contacts list. Best friend (Paul, for reddit's sake) is having some troubles with his boyfriend and his self-esteem. It's late at night and I'm half-asleep and not paying... | 5 | 24.4 | |
1390928919 | 1390969271 | t3_1wds73 | t5_2to41 | 126 | Texas-flood: TIFU by trying to save a squirell
Ok so I was walking around the back of the warehouse I work at a while back, and there is a dumpster. I was throwing some boxes away. All of a sudden I hear a sound in the dumpster. It sort of sounded like scratching.
I look into the dumpster and it is pretty empty, e... | 5 | 25.2 | |
1390937206 | 1390979077 | t3_1wdpaq | t5_2to41 | 359 | jackpaxx: A lot of straight people go to gay bars.
PixelOrange: Then he could just tell his friends that. "I went to a gay bar because some other friends wanted to go and whatever, like I care where we buy drinks from. That person must have seen me there and assumed but they were wrong."
CantSeeShit: Im gay anf my stra... | 8 | 44.875 | |
1390935856 | 1391169834 | t3_1we4k2 | t5_2to41 | 90 | Clemobide: TIFU by anaesthetising a lady's half face
Hi, TIFU
I'm a dental student, and people can come at my dental school to get dental care at low cost. Today an old lady came at the school because one of her wisdom tooth was getting infected.
We had to extract the tooth, but couldn't perform a classic anaesthesia... | 5 | 18 | |
1390941816 | 1390955080 | t3_1wefdd | t5_2to41 | 246 | dun_yow_like_soup: TIFU by trying to put my 4 year old son to bed
An hour ago it was bed time for my 3 darling angels. However one of them has not been playing along for the fast few nights and tonight was no exception. First he ran into the bathroom to hide, as I approached the door it flew open so he could make a ru... | 5 | 49.2 | |
1390948956 | 1390997882 | t3_1wesjq | t5_2to41 | 37 | SasLuc: TIFU by giving my family members my Amazon password
I grew up in an extremely conservative home where the vagina is the only hole to be used to for sex, missionary position is the only position, and absolutely **NO** sex before marriage (which is not to say my parents don't get it on because I hear them quite f... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1390953981 | 1391015169 | t3_1wf1er | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by agreeing to do another event
I'm in Science Olympiad at my school. There is a maximum number of team members allowed to go compete, so everyone needs to have at least 3 events, though 4 isn't unheard of. Nobody particularly wants 4 events though, so there are a few spots where we need somebody to com... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1390958235 | 1390975988 | t3_1wf8y1 | t5_2to41 | 3 | LoginxGames: TIFU by inviting leftists for an anti-right discussion on minecraft
So first off, a little back story.
I play on a minecraft server with a lot of client-side mods and an intention to promote civilization. Now on this server, we have a lot of problems which include terrible subreddit memes, the most out o... | 3 | 1 | |
1390964203 | 1391151869 | t3_1wfjas | t5_2to41 | 25 | ChiefWookieDoctor: TIFU by trusting myself with scissors.
So I had just gotten home after a long day, and wanted to wind down and watch some TV. As soon as I turn my TV on, there is no picture coming from my cable box. After a quick investigation, I determined that the problem was that my HDMI cable was broken. So, lik... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1390960084 | 1390975360 | t3_1wfc7d | t5_2to41 | 9 | KnittingWine: TIFU by breaking my foot
I got drunk on Australia day, did a cartwheel, and now I'm in bed in a moon boot and I'm supposed to start at the best contemporary dance course in the country in a month. And I may have to withdraw. Im never getting out of bed again.
lostdeceiver: I bet it was one stunning, gorg... | 3 | 3 | |
1390967342 | 1390969554 | t3_1wfolf | t5_2to41 | 18 | Lazyspy: TIFU and slept in.
So usually I have to be into work by 0730. I usually leave to go by 0715 because its close by. So I have a system in place right? So I thought. This morning I woke up and had to take a powerful piss. You know the type of piss that feels like a kamehameha wave shooting out of your dick. Shit ... | 3 | 6 | |
1390969133 | 1391084546 | t3_1wfrl7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Fershick: TIFU by taking a piss.
Okay, this wasn't today; this was a few years ago, but whatever. I was at school in sixth grade. Our teacher took us down the hall for a bathroom break. No biggie. I go over to the urinal, (leaving a place between me and the other guy, following the unspoken rule), and unzip and start d... | 3 | 3 | |
1390974794 | 1391129475 | t3_1wfzu5 | t5_2to41 | 98 | n0remack: TIFU when I gambled on a fart and lost (X-Post from AskReddit)
Well, I will go into details of what happened. From the moment my alarm went off to ground zero. It was any other normal Tuesday. My alarm had gone off at 6am and it was time to get up to get the day started. I made my way into my kitchen to prep ... | 7 | 14 | |
1390961486 | 1391001043 | t3_1wfenl | t5_2to41 | 7 | MigElite: TIFU by losing one of my best friends.
So this weekend was my college graduation party. I had a very nice friend from the university which I have liked since I met her. I have asked her out sometimes to see a movie or to have some dinner, but nothing too serious.
I have never been very direct to her, but I ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1390985349 | 1391054220 | t3_1wgapk | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting myself in this huge mess with my teacher.
Okay, this is going to be a little long and possibly confusing and I need a little advice because I'm still fucked.
I'm a 17 year old male that is a senior in high school taking AP Computer Science(an "AP" class is just a college-leveled class in hig... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1390885526 | 1391280504 | t3_1wckln | t5_2to41 | 16 | xternal7: TIFU by taking a shower
Because I had a super long sleep last "night" (12 hours, I woke up at 5 PM-ish), I decided I'll skip this night sleep and rather study (mostly reddit and TotalBuscuit so far) because exams are nigh. I also haven't had shower since ~~Saturday evening~~ really early Sunday morning, so I... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1390987797 | 1391016652 | t3_1wgcs3 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by throwing my headset
I threw my headset into my bed, and apparently, my laptop was under the covers... It hit the laptop, breaking part of the headset and making a hole in the screen of the laptop.
Cproo12: If throwing a *headset* can put an ENTIRE HOLE in the screen of your laptop, you need a laptop... | 3 | 1 | |
1391005704 | 1391065429 | t3_1wgrxb | t5_2to41 | 2,692 | magma_asp: TIFU by opening an envelope.
My wife and I are from different countries, and for the past 6 months we've been in the process of getting me a Visa to live in her home country. It's been a long and expensive process and today was the day it was all going to be worthwhile. I received my mail and within a packag... | 13 | 207.076923 | |
1391006058 | 1391144539 | t3_1wgse2 | t5_2to41 | 36 | OldNastyGuy: TIFU by fapping in my bed
So i decided to go for a quick fap before going to sleep, position myself on my bed, shirt off, pants off and just go at it.
And for some weird reason, I couldnt get hard. Maybe because it was 3 in the morning and I was very tired.
With the hand still on my jewels, I decided its... | 4 | 9 | |
1391014612 | 1391039734 | t3_1wh596 | t5_2to41 | 152 | Shitty69throwaway: TIFU by trying the "69" position...
Hey there, so today I made this major fuck up while trying the "69" position...
So here I was, all kinky and shit, trying out new ways with my girlfriend.
The problem is that I couldn't poop for almost a week, so I had to take pills, guess when they kicked in...
... | 5 | 30.4 | |
1390977259 | 1391042733 | t3_1wg2xr | t5_2to41 | 7 | Ierokilljoy: TIFU losing my phone
Well this chain of events started with Friday when I got on the bus to get home from school. (Note: I've had an iPhone 5 for the past year and I ALWAYS put it in my back pocket) I checked my phone and saw that I had a message from my Ohio friend and decided to answer it later. I put my... | 7 | 1 | |
1391016545 | 1392167903 | t3_1wh8oi | t5_2to41 | 133 | Chefhitt: TIFU by getting banned from TIFU with my first ever reddit post.
Hopefully it goes better the second time around. Being the naive idiot that I am when it comes to the very precise manner in one must reddit, I hastily posted a story about a Thai restaurant and a photograph. The whole post should've been tagged... | 7 | 19 | |
1391016546 | 1391032395 | t3_1wh8oj | t5_2to41 | 21 | KristyConfused: TIFU twofer from years ago
This TIFU comes from 2001 I think. I got a call from a staffing agency about a potential placement, so I rushed over on my bike. I had to pee real bad when I got there so I figured I'd be in and out real quick including the peeing, so I didn't lock up my bike. I went in and as... | 3 | 7 | |
1391020202 | 1391126361 | t3_1whf92 | t5_2to41 | 588 | caseyfasey: Tifu by congratulating a customer.
I work at one of those Starbucks that is inside a grocery store, we are generaly never as busy as a corporate store, but do have a lot of regulars. We are expected to chat with everyone that comes in. Small talk, usually nothing serious, something to make us stand out from... | 7 | 84 | |
1391021052 | 1391068667 | t3_1whgr7 | t5_2to41 | 46 | wheelbarrowjim: TIFU by fixing an iPhone
I fix iPhone screens for friends occasionally and today I had to do one for a friend of a friend. Everything seemed to be going ok until I turned it back on and it wouldn't. Upon further inspection I discovered that the connector for the battery had come loose from the main boar... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1390994218 | 1391038486 | t3_1wghfg | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my apartment key
This is my first post here!
I'm a university student and as such, I forget things. Yesterday, A friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to library with him around 7pm so I figured "why not, I have a ton of work to do". As we get in the car I realized I had left my apt key ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1391030218 | 1391367925 | t3_1whwrg | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating bugs
Some background info: I am not functional when I wake up early, my parents are divorced, and my dad is horrible at housekeeping.
The following happened at my father's house: I woke up at 6:00AM to get ready to go to class. I decided to start this day with a bowl of Golden Grahams spontan... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1391021052 | 1391092476 | t3_1whgr8 | t5_2to41 | 24 | lurkmode_off: TIFU by washing a smartphone.
I was doing a load of laundry and asked my SO if he wanted to add anything to it. He said, "Yeah, the sweatshirt I'm wearing," pulled it off, and handed it to me. I put it in the wash without checking the pockets. Later he's getting ready to leave the house and can't find his... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1391032928 | 1391043463 | t3_1wi1mc | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by causing my brother's head to bleed profusely
So he's pissing me off, using his new phone to take pictures of me. I get annoyed and start throwing stuff from my desk. First a rubber, then a pencil and eventually in a fit of rage, I fling my phone. Now this is a Samsung Galaxy SII - pretty much a brick... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1391026763 | 1391039032 | t3_1whqkl | t5_2to41 | 27 | EliQuince: TIFU By Driving in the Snow
I must be the most stereotypical Atlanta driver right now, I have never felt like such a statistic. I was fine last night at my parents house, helped people get their cars up the hill near my house for 3 hours; this morning I decide to take my car out to do some donuts in our cul ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1391035696 | 1391128285 | t3_1wi6hh | t5_2to41 | 222 | shakaspeare: TIFU by telling someone their dog had a beautiful arsehole.
My cat has problems with his bum. He simply doesn't clean it, and it looks like someone opening their mouth in the middle of eating a mars bar. It's disgusting but I love him.
Anyway, when I saw the immaculately clean butt of this dog that was be... | 13 | 17.076923 | |
1391040482 | 1391047866 | t3_1wiewm | t5_2to41 | 9 | ishyman: TIFU by breaking my prescription eye glasses. Now I cant drive home.
You know one of those bendy frames? you can actually bend the frames and the glasses go back. well i was showing off and my glasses snapped. i was in my class 15 miles away from home and couldn't drive. i am almost blind and useless without m... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1391036384 | 1391047103 | t3_1wi7ot | t5_2to41 | 74 | Fishy1289: TIFU by Peeing in the Shower
So I'm in college. In our building's bathrooms, the showers share a drain. So one shower on each side of a dividing wall (two total), with a single drain in the middle.
I was showering in one side, when I noticed that the drain was clogged. The water was not going down, and qui... | 3 | 24.666667 | |
1390971551 | 1391151717 | t3_1wfvap | t5_2to41 | 6 | Agwap: TIFU by reversing into someone
It was a busy parking lot and I was trying to turn left. As I pulled up, I realized that my nose might be sticking too far out into the road (this is a brand new, leased car so I'm still unfamiliar with its dimensions). I decided to put in reverse in order to give them a little mor... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1391050398 | 1391057313 | t3_1wivd9 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU By Asking a Classmate Why She Was Taking Her Purse to the Bathroom
Overly protected, innocent high school senior. Asked the teacher to go use the restroom, and so does my chick friend.
As I'm heading out, I notice her purse and inquire her about it.
"Oh, because. Why, is there a problem?"
"No, I'm ju... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1391053303 | 1391466798 | t3_1wizw6 | t5_2to41 | 27 | MyNameIsElla: TIFU by pissing on the floor
There are random drug testing days at my school, and today I was chosen. Now, I don't do drugs or anything, so I wasn't really worried about that. I was just worrying about pissing in a cup. I don't really pay attention to where my pee comes out or anything, so I was sort of s... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1391063020 | 1391069101 | t3_1wjdgd | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by posting a status on twitter.
This actually happened monday morning.
I woke up and posted to twitter saying that i was going to blow up my school with many explosives. I specifically called out my school and then made another post referring the schools staff. (AS A JOKE. KEEP THAT IN MIND.)
Later on... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1391060419 | 1391125614 | t3_1wja6d | t5_2to41 | 147 | Ethanacho: TIFU by thinking my boss was hinting at me getting a promotion, when in reality he was telling me I might be fired.
So I was working dinner at my job at a local family owned restaurant, and the head chef asks to speak with me in the office. Not knowing what was to come next, I skittishly followed him in. He ... | 5 | 29.4 | |
1391057062 | 1391301101 | t3_1wj5j8 | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: Tifu By texting my friends
So recently (I just found out about this sub, so bear with me) I was at the [SC Governor's School for Science and Math](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Carolina_Governor's_School_for_Science_and_Mathematics) to learn computer programming. About Mid week I was texting my friend a... | 9 | 3.333333 | |
1391088215 | 1391128845 | t3_1wjykt | t5_2to41 | 747 | sostupidme: TIFU by leaving my sexting chat open on the computer
I had the gmail chat window open and was enjoying a fun time talking to an old flame and things were getting kind of heated. It was nice. I was drunk. So when I bid him adieu I closed the chat window and went on to bed. I got up this morning to see that w... | 13 | 57.461538 | |
1391102378 | 1391192353 | t3_1wkieg | t5_2to41 | 3,349 | dreeeewk: TIFU by having explosive diarrhea in my college dorm shower.
PREFACE: This week I just started a new diet where i'm increasing my daily calorie intake and adding more protein to my diet. Needless to say I've been gassy as fuck since Monday.
So I go to the gym after eating a pretty huge dinner. At the gym I ... | 9 | 372.111111 | |
1391105122 | 1391150705 | t3_1wkn5v | t5_2to41 | 459 | Baroliche: TIFU by listening to the radio in my car when a pretty girl walked up to ask for directions. [nsfw]
This TIFU is 10 minutes old.
I was on my way to work and was waiting at a red light across from a health club in my neighborhood.
There was a gorgeous girl waiting on the corner. I'm married and not interes... | 5 | 91.8 | |
1391112136 | 1391116724 | t3_1wkzqj | t5_2to41 | 85 | TIFUthrowawayyy: TIFU by knocking a girl's front tooth out.
First off I want to say that I feel absolutely terrible about this, and it happened 2 nights ago. This is the only free time I've had lately to write this all down. (btw I'm an average sized 5'11" guy)
I go to a pretty big university in the southeast US (and ... | 3 | 28.333333 | |
1391125121 | 1391139828 | t3_1wlmop | t5_2to41 | 85 | HooksFourHands: TIFU by releasing a thunderfart
My earliest class this semester is at 8 AM. I am not a morning person. This means I drink approximately 4-8 cups (measurement) of coffee in the hour before class starts. I have acid reflux. This is not a bright idea. This amount of coffee in a short amount of time on a ne... | 5 | 17 | |
1391129563 | 1391191504 | t3_1wltt7 | t5_2to41 | 58 | justdowntheroad: TIFU by stopping at Motel 6 to call 911
This happened to me on the way home today...pretty ridiculous if you ask me...I know it's long, but it just made me so mad that I wanted to share it with people.
Well...I was just driving home from work, getting my hair cut and Chipotle when I saw a drunk driver... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1391152545 | 1391201033 | t3_1wmoxg | t5_2to41 | 8 | habanerobirthday: TIFU on my Birthday and deserve the Habanero present
It’s my birthday today. Happy Birthday to me!
My day started well, favorite breakfast, lunch at the street corner on my work, and dinner with friends and family. Now as I lay in my bed, my phone beeps for an alarm for my birthday with a letter atta... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1391153149 | 1393876895 | t3_1wmpfl | t5_2to41 | 196 | tifuthroaway92: tifu by accidentally and regularly displaying my semi-weird sexual kinks/fetishes to my roommate
So I'm a college student, living in a ridiculously small dorm with another girl. By ridiculously small, I'm talking one room, no separations, barely space to store our stuff. Two beds, a minifridge and micro... | 5 | 39.2 | |
1391154724 | 1391201157 | t3_1wmqos | t5_2to41 | 3 | DreamRemapEXNull: TIFU by taking off my bike helmet
So I was riding my bike to school while listening to music on in-ear headphones. Close to school gate I take my helmet off while still riding, with the helmet comes the headphones. They fall out of my ears and go straight into the bike's chain and gears and for some r... | 3 | 1 | |
1391194549 | 1391229917 | t3_1wnxpr | t5_2to41 | 3,053 | NaSTyNewYawK: TIFU by asking to increase the dosage of my anti-depressants
So. To make a long story short I've had a very traumatic childhood that has stayed with me for the majority of my life and for the most part still bothers me. The emotional distress was to a level I couldn’t handle by simply talking to other peo... | 10 | 305.3 | |
1391138546 | 1391199019 | t3_1wm7j6 | t5_2to41 | 9 | INEVERREMEMBERMYNAM3: TIFU by riding my bike on the wrong side of the street.
It was raining today and a good bit, too. Left to go to my girlfriend's apartment and it's quicker to ride on the wrong side of the street for a moment. There was a huge puddle near a curve in the road and as I rode past it a car drove throug... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1391198642 | 1391200523 | t3_1wo4of | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: TIFU by opening a link to a post on /r/incest while at work
I got a notice from our firewall about that link being blocked because of pornography. I'm waiting for my boss to call me into his office...
J_Pinehurst: Were you there on purpose?
populista: No, I was reading the "broken arms" post on /r/iama and ... | 3 | 18.333333 | |
1391198988 | 1391478441 | t3_1wo58b | t5_2to41 | 48 | badmomthrowaway1: TIFU by throwing shoes
This actually happened yesterday but it has taken me until now to calm down. Throwaway because my co-workers know my main account.
---
I was having a really bad day at work yesterday. I called my husband over lunch to vent. I didn't realize how long I talked until I got off the ... | 5 | 9.6 | |
1391205801 | 1391280246 | t3_1woh2r | t5_2to41 | 14 | Throwawaywawaywayway: TIFU by almost hitting and cutting off a government vehicle
So, yeah. I was at a light, and the two lanes at the light are turning lanes that go left. I was in the left most lane, and when I turned, I needed to be in the right lane. For some reason (God help me, this was so stupid) I thought I cou... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1391215741 | 1391279727 | t3_1wowlk | t5_2to41 | 26 | luckyDucs: Tifu by buying a motorcycle off of craigslist. I had no idea what a certificate of destruction was.
So last week I decided to finally get my motorcycle license and get a bike. Originally I wanted to buy one from a used bike shop but after searching for a while I found a used Ducati Monster on craigslist for ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1391209277 | 1391234785 | t3_1womqx | t5_2to41 | 52 | [deleted]: TIFU by quitting smoking
I just started my first semester of graduation school. As an undergrad I studied mathematics. Math and cigarettes go to together like bread and butter for some reason. However my graduate studies are in Industrial Engineering specifically on Healthcare Operations. After a week of mee... | 3 | 17.333333 | |
1391228278 | 1391322978 | t3_1wpdir | t5_2to41 | 108 | throwaway48576: TIFU by torrenting Frozen.
Throwaway needed here, as if anyone I knew found out, Holy shit it would be bad. This happened mainly last night, and some of this morning. I am a 17 year old who lives with dad, mom and sister. I am kinda geeky, so I pretty much use my computer every minute of the day. My dad... | 9 | 12 | |
1391228002 | 1391234322 | t3_1wpd53 | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU. Guys, I Shat Myself.
I shat myself, standing in line at the bank.
NEVER trust a fart. Fuck. It dripped out of my pants on the floor as I walked out. Fuck.
teddybearsdontgrowl: Finally, I get to reset the counter :-) this is my first!
magicfatkid: How long did we make it?
| 3 | 17.666667 |
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