start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1392434537 | 1392468846 | t3_1xye5l | t5_2to41 | 123 | IT_MUST_BE_MY_BDAY: TIFU by asking my guy if he's ever done anal
Not that our Valentine's Day was perfect, but it was not too bad. We had a late dinner at a restaurant we always enjoy. Normally, we do not talk much about past relationships, but after the first drink on an empty stomach, he was tipsy enough to start tal... | 4 | 30.75 | |
1392432724 | 1392496267 | t3_1xybtl | t5_2to41 | 9 | TalkingBush: TIFU by dropping my Beats by Dre in the toilet
So yesterday it was late at night and I was about to go sleep, but not before going to pee like I do every night before I go to sleep. With my headphones on my head and my favorite blanket in my hand, I walked in the bathroom and approached the toilet.
Closin... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1392420343 | 1392510982 | t3_1xxus9 | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by kicking my monitor
I was leaning back in my computer chair reading an AskReddit thread, putting my feet up on my desk. All was going well until I lost my balance and in panic launched myself forward resulting in my smashing my monitor with my foot. My monitor fell onto my speakers, and they fell on t... | 8 | 3.5 | |
1392441476 | 1392469921 | t3_1xyn3d | t5_2to41 | 36 | Rockyroadskydiving: TIFU by sleeping in a loft.
A little back story, we have a cabin for when the family go skiing and said cabin has a nice fucking loft, its the warmest spot in the cabin so I usually sleep up there, this loft is only accessible by ladder (this is important people).
so I spent all day skiing an... | 3 | 12 | |
1392451143 | 1392561496 | t3_1xywh7 | t5_2to41 | 104 | cutmytigress: TIFU by shaving my ladybits
Today I fucked up, although....this happened yesterday. I knew today was Valentine's Day and I was hoping to get lucky with the boyfriend yesterday as well as today. While I was taking a shower I decided to freshen up down there and trim my lady jungle. I normally keep her well... | 9 | 11.555556 | |
1392454468 | 1392748037 | t3_1xyyxk | t5_2to41 | 14 | ccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk: TIFU by blowing out both my speakers after hauling them all the way to China.
I work as an audio engineer back in the states and am tutoring a boy in China on my gap year so I can travel abroad for free. I moved in with my host family in Beijing 2 days ago and I finally had the chance today to buy ... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1392459516 | 1392519991 | t3_1xz27d | t5_2to41 | 2,556 | GabrieI: TIFU by using bluetooth in class
This happened yesterday. I just got a new phone - the same as a good friend, actually, because it's a really nice one.
Since I just got it we were talking about some functions and other things we liked about it. Going through the list I found the option 'multi-screen'. Having ... | 9 | 284 | |
1392466292 | 1392580758 | t3_1xz6gc | t5_2to41 | 122 | theboymarlo: TIFU: Blinded by a cat, then cockblocked from a threesome by Jesus.
This happened three years ago in Leeds, UK.
I was in town for the week, normally I lived in a substantially grimmer city but work demanded I head up there to work with another office as their sales figures were low.
Now at the time, I wa... | 6 | 20.333333 | |
1392463468 | 1392535120 | t3_1xz4pc | t5_2to41 | 107 | Sir_Poopslahad: TIFU by binging on cookies and milk before my midterm. I failed to reach the porcelain throne.
This happened a couple years back, but a fuck up regardless.
Senior year of high school.
Friday is cookie day at my school. It always gave Friday that extra bit of special. The lunch ladies made the best ch... | 5 | 21.4 | |
1392488091 | 1392518011 | t3_1xzv99 | t5_2to41 | 26 | kkrbcc: TIFU by changing the batteries in a fire alarm
At work we are supposed to keep the fire alarm batteries up to date. I walked in and heard the high pitch beep it makes when the batteries are dead. I grab some batteries and a chair. It was my first time performing this duty as well so I didn't know how to open th... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1392482639 | 1392513289 | t3_1xznbu | t5_2to41 | 131 | Sensiitivity: TIFU by getting a pedicure
Every year for Valentine's Day, I treat my sorry, single ass to a pedicure. Nothing too in-depth, typically a foot touch-up and leg rub.
So this morning I arrive at one of our area's nail salons, book an appointment for 9:30, and take a seat. The worker is working through the ... | 3 | 43.666667 | |
1392436183 | 1392506994 | t3_1xygd2 | t5_2to41 | 2 | benwubbleyou: TIFU by trying to stretch the truth
Alright, this needs some context. So I am not really a valentines person. I don't see the point in buying flowers on that day or doing something extra special. That's just me.
Moving onto second context. My first fuck up is when this morning I texted my girlfriend hel... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1392510145 | 1392521779 | t3_1y0szh | t5_2to41 | 64 | GeoSzef: TIFU because I thought I was jeering the rival team.
Short & sweet
Guest(adult) checks out of hotel with child.
Child has all his hockey gear in duffle bags and hauling equipment.
Guest is leaving rather early compared to the other team members.
So I ask; "You're leaving early, getting a head-start o... | 6 | 10.666667 | |
1392507776 | 1392625377 | t3_1y0pk4 | t5_2to41 | 51 | csjo: TIFU by helping out
Today a man came onto my plane, I'm a flight attendant. He was missing an arm and was struggling to get his heavy bag into the overhead. I told myself over and over, "Don't ask, 'Do you need a hand?' Do NOT ask, Do you need a hand?'" I walked up and out of my mouth comes, "Can I offer you a...... | 3 | 17 | |
1392512811 | 1392522713 | t3_1y0wtw | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: TIFU by standing on a bed of nails in class.
This was in Physics class, which is two periods. Two days ago, we had a computer lab experiment in the first period, and the second period was basically free time. With almost an hour left without any lecture or classwork, I got really bored pretty quickly.
My t... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1392515308 | 1392525548 | t3_1y107s | t5_2to41 | 170 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a picture of my asshole.
So I almost always have my phone with me right? Who doesn't? We'll I was just done taking a very painful shit and figured I had a pretty nasty hemorrhoid. I wanted to check it out because I've had some really bad one in the past. I couldn't figure out any way to see it... | 3 | 56.666667 | |
1392515206 | 1392578266 | t3_1y102e | t5_2to41 | 8 | IregretEatingBeans: TIFU by eating some beans at my friend's house...
...they caused me to do way more than fart. Right after i took a shower, i felt an urge to take a shit... Very soon i had to disinfect the bathroom and shower again.
the1221: Again?
jumbobombo: Don't you shower before eating beans?
the1221: Sometim... | 4 | 2 | |
1392526315 | 1392696834 | t3_1y1eqk | t5_2to41 | 39 | fuckingmail: TIFU by getting the mail
I've been suffering from a stomach bug the last few days and as such I haven't left the house.
To get my mail I have to walk two blocks down to the corner where it's all in this large metal mailbox with different lock boxes.
I was finally feeling better and since I hadn't checked ... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1392527586 | 1393099805 | t3_1y1g9o | t5_2to41 | 5 | analinabox: TIFU by giving my GF a ring box with a request for anal in it.
I thought I'd be funny by giving her a ring box with a small card in it that said "Anal?" and getting down on one knee to present it after dinner.
It didn't end well. I'm down one expensive dinner, a two year relationship and a lot of dignity b... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1392534410 | 1392595063 | t3_1y1niw | t5_2to41 | 689 | tifuprostatestyle: TIFU by attempting a prostate orgasm. VERY NSFW.
Throwaway for obvious reasons. This just happened.
I've been on a bit of a dry streak lately and felt like mixing up my masturbation routine. I haven't fapped in three days. I've read about prostate massages / prostate orgasms a little bit on the int... | 8 | 86.125 | |
1392539889 | 1392623140 | t3_1y1s6l | t5_2to41 | 1,885 | Negativeskill: TIFU by telling a guy to get out of my girlfriend's face
My girlfriend and I were at the winter festival (Winterlude) in Ottawa tonight looking at the ice sculptures, when we decided to go for some beavertails. As we were looking at the menu, some guy got up in my girlfriend's face staring at her and I t... | 12 | 157.083333 | |
1392549243 | 1392613570 | t3_1y1yke | t5_2to41 | 102 | windowsaregood: TIFU by going to a baptism
Okay, so first of all this is a throwaway. Now that that's settled let's move on. So my family and I were invited to a baptism of some baby I don't really know. My sister and I were dreading the day because it was about 4 hours in church (which is a lot for us).
So, while wer... | 3 | 34 | |
1392562909 | 1392614760 | t3_1y29d7 | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on a date
Sorry for the wall of text and any grammatical errors, I'm doing this from my phone.
Backstory: Well. I've been seeing this girl for the past 4 months, and we've really hit it off. We're not "dating", but I've pretty much spent every night for the past 4 months over at her place. I l... | 5 | 6 | |
1392563088 | 1392675851 | t3_1y29k3 | t5_2to41 | 213 | Lazyspy: TIFU by fucking this "massage therapist" raw.
I have never fucked raw before. I always have had a condom. Most of the time with "massage therapist" it's just a hand job and that's it. This time after the hand job she wanted me to fuck her. And there was no condom.
In my head I was freaking out at first b... | 6 | 35.5 | |
1392582774 | 1393099108 | t3_1y31zr | t5_2to41 | 361 | shlem: Tifu by saying chicken 'knickers'
Today at a bookstore I was looking through a book of contemporary art. In it there was a picture of a lady wearing chicken as underwear, naturally I find this hilarious and show it to my friend. Mind you, this was in a busy bookstore. So I call my friend over and point to the pi... | 4 | 90.25 | |
1392593318 | 1392682332 | t3_1y3j13 | t5_2to41 | 8 | FIST_IN_YOUR_UTERUS: TIFU by comparing hijab to dishtowels in front of a muslim coworker
So I work in a massive clothing store, and for an hour after closing time all the staff from all 3 floors usually comes to help in the lingerie department. So I start talking to a couple of girls from the floor above, and we get on... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1392592679 | 1392614510 | t3_1y3i20 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by missing a deadline.
I waited too long and now I can't apply to UW Madison. I got into two other schools so it's not all bad but I can't help but think that I may have messed up my future.
[deleted]: Oh, don't worry about it, you haven't messed up your future. The deadlines come around *every semester... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1392605259 | 1392661627 | t3_1y41q0 | t5_2to41 | 1,614 | gawright87: TIFU by deciding to have a quick wank after ordering pizza.
So I'm laying on the couch, pretty hungover, 2 pm, and drinking a ton of coffee playing around on my laptop and realize that I'm absolutely starving. I felt like crap though so didn't want to leave my house, and decided that ordering a pizza would ... | 13 | 124.153846 | |
1392623696 | 1392671545 | t3_1y4pz6 | t5_2to41 | 123 | Kanaro: TIFU by rejecting the girl I love
After months of insecure dating and me telling her she can take her time, she finally got the guts to tell me she wanted to try a relationship with me. And I stammered "It's okay, take your time" again.
After I finally found out that she took it as a rejection, I apologized an... | 4 | 30.75 | |
1392625932 | 1392688534 | t3_1y4s04 | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting on a mans doorstep
This story actually happend a few years back but I am just now finding out about the awesomness that is Reddit so I figured I would share the most imbarrasing moment of my carrer with you all. Hope you enjoy.
A brief backstory, I never drank before joining the military,... | 3 | 9 | |
1392644897 | 1392692696 | t3_1y58lo | t5_2to41 | 22 | shelleebee: TIFU by accidentally following my ex's new girlfriend on Pinterest
It really was a happenstance, as I merely was repinning from a friend's board then saw who she repinned them from, and liked the girl's boards & started following her. However, her name sounded really familiar... Then it hit me. Sure eno... | 7 | 3.142857 | |
1392665362 | 1392743373 | t3_1y634w | t5_2to41 | 1,832 | Adolf_Hitler__: TIFU by getting shit in my mouth.
My baby was being quite a little fucker this morning. After changing it's diaper and putting its little shirt and pants I went into the living room and played Gorilla with it. In Gorilla I pick him up, roar, and put him down. But there was one problem. The I forgot to p... | 15 | 122.133333 | |
1392668150 | 1392805763 | t3_1y689h | t5_2to41 | 24 | 23553: TIFU by letting the cat out of the bag
A few years ago, my cat started having problems with his eye. After a few months those got fixed, but he still has to go in for a check up once or twice a year, mostly to refill his prescriptions. This is unfortunate because the regular vet makes house calls, so otherwise t... | 3 | 8 | |
1392672582 | 1392680191 | t3_1y6ghu | t5_2to41 | 260 | [deleted]: TIFU by deciding to not lock the bathroom door
So I was re-watching Breaking Bad, when I noticed that I was starting to get a little bit aroused. I figure that I'll pause it and rush to the bathroom to rub one out. I grab my IPOD, close the bathroom door, and start getting to it. I found myself getting too e... | 7 | 37.142857 | |
1392673320 | 1393344287 | t3_1y6huy | t5_2to41 | -8 | NeslolseN: TIFU by almost killing my girlfriend's dog
So this dog had been puking pretty badly for about two weeks, when her mother entered her room, to tell her what lay in the garden covered in puke. It was OUR condom, which we had forgotten to toss out afterwards. Still kinda scared of going down there!
[deleted]: ... | 4 | -2 | |
1392681487 | 1392692421 | t3_1y6w75 | t5_2to41 | 75 | ohmygodthrow: TIFU by watching too much porn
Two coworkers (a black guy and a white girl) and I were joking around in the meeting room after a conference call.
They were being kinda flirty.
I had to go do some actual work.
The guy said "What, you're leaving us?".
I wanted to say "Yeah I gotta go. But remember, inter... | 3 | 25 | |
1392685532 | 1392720925 | t3_1y73bk | t5_2to41 | 16 | clone12TM: TIFU by being too clingy, again
I fucking hate myself.
So for the second time (first time is a doozy, would rather not unless needed) I find a girl that I thoroughly like and we hit it off. We both can't get enough of each other. We've been texting each other for over a week and I can't get her off my mind.... | 4 | 4 | |
1392686773 | 1392713939 | t3_1y75ei | t5_2to41 | 6 | TEHGOURDGOAT: TIFU by going on reddit. Thanks a lot, Reddit.
TIFU, So I was on Reddit, and I was reading a thread while listening to heavy dubstep (never a good idea). I saw this link and press on it as my brother walks into the room. It takes me to /r/gonewild and my brother saw my screen. I quickly tell him that an ... | 3 | 2 | |
1392699338 | 1392768886 | t3_1y7qi9 | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a shitty friend
I used to date this girl. Let's call her W. Things didn't work out, but we still wanted to be friends. We go to the same college and we both work on campus so we bump into each other a lot. I haven't had an actual friend in 10 years, so I'm not really any good at being conversat... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1392701443 | 1392767995 | t3_1y7tpi | t5_2to41 | 13 | quirkiestquark: TIFU by ordering take out
so I am in the middle of a huge project and under a lot of stress. I was absolutely starving, my fridge was empty, and I figured- fuck it I'll be unhealthy/lazy and order some greasy and delicious chinese take out. So I order online as quickly as possible and try to focus on wo... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1392702023 | 1392767018 | t3_1y7ujv | t5_2to41 | 78 | milkymoocowmoo: TIFU by trying to thwart car thieves
As usual this was actually last week, but wasn't resolved til today. A work colleague recently had his car stolen when some thieves broke into his house and found the keys. 'Well I'm not having any of that' I thought to myself, and being a bit handy with machines I d... | 8 | 9.75 | |
1392707698 | 1392852979 | t3_1y81jf | t5_2to41 | 3 | jakinlives: A Muck Mountain that Lasted all Day
kvural: You need to take that shit to the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board.
taserbeam: From what I estimate it sounds at least 2-2.5 Curics in size
| 3 | 1 | |
1392727588 | 1392916707 | t3_1y8k0a | t5_2to41 | 1,917 | DidijustDidthat: TIFU by cutting myself on cheese.
Cheese on toast, under the grill. A few hours later I went to clean the drips of cheese off of the grill pan. Used a sponge and got most of them off, but not all. The drips had formed crusty flat scabs of cheese on the pan and as with any scab the natural thing to do w... | 13 | 147.461538 | |
1392748383 | 1392748876 | t3_1y9g8y | t5_2to41 | 11 | RandomPullOutGuy: TI(myFriend)FU shredding cheese
Wasn't today, was from a while back but whatever. storytime.
A few years ago me and my buddy decided after work to chill out and drink. He enjoyed smoking weed so whatever, he smokes and drinks, i drink. We split the alcohol almost evenly, I had 7 beers and 4 shots, he... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1392754484 | 1392777527 | t3_1y9s0k | t5_2to41 | 115 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling down a flight of stairs at my university and breaking my nose in front of 200+ people.
I was walking out of my class today which ran a little late. The school administration was having a luncheon with a lot of important people. I guess that something important must be happening, as they were ... | 3 | 38.333333 | |
1392755945 | 1392761725 | t3_1y9ur6 | t5_2to41 | 29 | KestrelLowing: TIFU by not finishing an 'incomplete' course for grad school. This means I can't graduate.
TIFU. I was having some really difficult mental issues last spring and couldn't finish the final project of a class, despite having straight As otherwise. This project, however, was a huge portion of the grade an... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1392757017 | 1392783132 | t3_1y9wqf | t5_2to41 | 96 | little_foot_89: TIFU by not using the bathroom before i left work.
I drank a lot of coffee and water this morning while at work and did not use the bathroom once during my shift. I am getting ready to leave work and had the slightest urge to use the bathroom, but being excited i was getting out earlier than expected i... | 8 | 12 | |
1392762873 | 1392950333 | t3_1ya84g | t5_2to41 | 20 | D3NT1STFROMH3LL: TIFU by saying fag at a LGBTQ meeting
At school there are a bunch of random clubs that meet at lunch, earlier on the announcements the LGBTQ assembly said they would have puppy chow at their meeting. Instead of just roaming the halls all lunch period my friend and I decided to go for the puppy chow.
... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1392765235 | 1392773097 | t3_1yaced | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my house
I was sick Sunday, nothing serious just a stuffed nose, tired, and a headache. But I was feeling better by night and had the next day off, so I decided to go out. I ended up driving my two friends and I to a third friend's house where they were celebrating his cousin's birthday. It w... | 3 | 2 | |
1392762118 | 1392776987 | t3_1ya6nq | t5_2to41 | 37 | A_Wild_Jirachi: TIFU by scratching my balls.
So last night I was in bed checking my clan on clash of clans. My balls started to itch and I was alone in the room so I decided to give them a scratch. It happens. So after I finished getting my gold and went to bed. Didn't think anything of it. I woke up the next morning w... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1392764852 | 1392821484 | t3_1yabpm | t5_2to41 | 150 | jlopez9090: TIFU by Watching Crank 2 while going to sleep
After seeing Crank for the first time since it came out I wanted to go ahead and watch the second one. I didn't get very far when I fell asleep. I woke up late for class because my alarm was set to 9 PM not AM (I just got a new phone, sue me).
I live off campus... | 7 | 21.428571 | |
1392768505 | 1392983907 | t3_1yai8x | t5_2to41 | 39 | buttmunchkins: TIFU by sending a friend request to the girl with whom my SO cheated on me
Long backstory short, I caught my boyfriend exchanging flirtatious Facebook messages with this girl. Drama ensued, we almost broke up, etc etc and somehow my boyfriend managed to win me back. He told the girl that I had caught the... | 5 | 7.8 | |
1392765397 | 1392774629 | t3_1yacqb | t5_2to41 | 135 | the_plot_chickens: TIFU By making pancakes
I was making delicious pancakes for me and my housemate, when I prematurely flipped a big fat one that wasn't done.
It spaffed burning hot batter all up in my face, leaving me with a collection of burn marks all over my skin, and also a singed eyeball, because I also managed... | 5 | 27 | |
1392760114 | 1392854444 | t3_1ya2qs | t5_2to41 | 184 | kurtni: TIFU by assuming walls were even and getting trapped behind a freezer
I work at an ice cream shop. We got a walk in freezer, so I had to move the old reach in freezers into our basement. No big deal, they're not all that heavy.
To get to our basement, you have to go outside and down a flight of stairs. Because... | 4 | 46 | |
1392772375 | 1392835330 | t3_1yapc9 | t5_2to41 | 21 | shaker_not_shaken: TIFU by getting "fresh" at a funeral today
Edit:repost due to being taken down.
So today I was with my s/o and her family at a funeral for her grandmother. During the viewing the S/o was with her mother and sister standing, all looking at family photos. All three of them look very similar from beh... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1392768876 | 1392816411 | t3_1yaivx | t5_2to41 | 40 | throwaway_allthexxxx: TIFU by not cleaning my room for 6 months
This is actually an ancient fuck up so more like 5 years ago I fucked up. I am not this disgusting anymore. Sorry.
So I had just moved out of home and was renting in a sharehouse, and I was super duper excited to be an independent womyn. So naturally that... | 4 | 10 | |
1392777872 | 1392793599 | t3_1yaz77 | t5_2to41 | 96 | jasundead: TIFU by almost cutting my fingers off.
Plenty of people have cut themselves in the kitchen, but this was in a very unexpected way. I had purchased a head of iceberg lettuce that comes in the little plastic wrap with tape to semi seal it. I'm not sure how you guys open these but I do what I consider the typic... | 5 | 19.2 | |
1392811756 | 1392892430 | t3_1yc4l4 | t5_2to41 | 1,175 | Stormasmeggon: TIFU by ingesting shampoo
So I went out drinking last night with a girl I've been seeing, and ended up staying around hers.
When I've been drinking I tend to get really thirsty in the middle of the night, so I drunkenly got up and went over to the sink and grabbed what to my drunken self must have been... | 10 | 117.5 | |
1392775161 | 1392829996 | t3_1yauh6 | t5_2to41 | 23 | DownvoteMe4Free: TIFU by eating soup while browsing Reddit.
For Valentines Day, my mom got me a cup of soup. So the next day I decided to eat my cup of soup while browsing Reddit. Big mistake. It happened so fast that I don't remember the details, but I do remember me lifting my hand up to type something, then knocking... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1392837670 | 1392843643 | t3_1yd8rz | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by smoking in school
I am a Junior in high school in the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. Basically today I went to my normal 4th period bathroom break (e-cig brake really), and anyway as I am standing there, outside the stalls, a teacher walks in as I am exhaling. But of all teachers, it was the law enforceme... | 5 | 1 | |
1392844116 | 1392902635 | t3_1ydkin | t5_2to41 | 197 | dun_yow_like_soup: TIFU by telling a customer and her mother to f**k off and throwing keys in their general direction
This happened yesterday but was a bit too reved up to post.
I work for my father in our family garage. Normally I drive the recovery trucks all day and have limited contact with the general public but o... | 6 | 32.833333 | |
1392848243 | 1392926383 | t3_1ydscq | t5_2to41 | 494 | docsuess: TIFU by flushing the toilet
It started like any other morning. Pee, flush, brush teeth, turn on shower. The shower drain was clogging up during the shower, which should have been a red flag since I had just snaked and draino-ed it two days before. I get out, get ready for work, and the drain is still clogged.... | 11 | 44.909091 | |
1392846736 | 1392886368 | t3_1ydpgt | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: Today My Brain Fucked Up ~ Wet Dream ~ 1st Wet Dream Ever
So currently I am doing NoFap, I'm a 20 year old guy, the last time I had any release was 2 weeks ago and here is my story.
Last night I had this weird as dream that had to broken into 2 different sections, but they are very short from one and anothe... | 6 | 7.166667 | |
1392849524 | 1392865415 | t3_1ydupw | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my breakfast.
So my daily routine was to get up and do morning things and then I toast a bagel every day that I wrapped up and took to eat on the bus. Now today it was unusually warm and I wasn't wearing a jacket that had a big pocket I usually put it in. So I toasted it and wrapped it up... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1392841144 | 1392924829 | t3_1ydf2k | t5_2to41 | 14 | uberyeti: TIFU by drinking flower water
I bought some nice cut flowers for my girlfriend yesterday, and put them in a glass of water to keep them fresh until she visited me and took them home, which she duly did.
Earlier today I was having a late lunch and found some wine that needed drinking, but I lacked a glass fro... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1392863902 | 1392957773 | t3_1yekf4 | t5_2to41 | 58 | Ice_Cold_Water: TIFU by formatting a $150 flash drive.
So, it's my 3rd day at my new job, and I was given a flash drive with some high tech encryptions on it to keep the data protected on it. And as I was building USB boot drives this morning, I decided to make a map_network_drive.bat and stick it on my really cool enc... | 7 | 8.285714 | |
1392856667 | 1392912613 | t3_1ye7vd | t5_2to41 | 24 | ihazcheese: TIFU Ravioli headphones.
I was walking out of my room with a bowl of ravioli remnants(aka sauce and meaty bits), a cup, a coffee mug, and an empty bag of Funyuns when I decided "Man! The edge of my desk right above where I set my headphones is a REALLY good place to set this bowl so I can open my door!" Wha... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1392862190 | 1392867750 | t3_1yehjr | t5_2to41 | 48 | Empyrean_: tifu by cheating in social studies
This has been going on for a while. And it's not just me it's nearly the entire class. Anyway our social studies teacher gives us these things called chapter packets that go alomg with our textbook and we have a week to do them. They usually take a few hours to do. Piled on... | 3 | 16 | |
1392867821 | 1392990715 | t3_1yeqzb | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by suggesting a filthy scat act to my boyfriend.
We were just joking around and talking. Then I started quoting the South Park episode where someone gets a queef in the face. But instead of saying "yeah you want a queef in the face?" I ended up saying "Want my poop in your belly?"
Took him off guard. H... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1392868482 | 1392940623 | t3_1yes5j | t5_2to41 | 191 | borismkv: TIFU by going into the wrong place to get a massage.
Allow me a few minutes to relate a most important tale to you all. I have learned two valuable lessons. The first part is that I am extremely Naive. The second will follow the story. So please, sit, grab some popcorn, and continue with care, for this tale i... | 7 | 27.285714 | |
1392873940 | 1392917842 | t3_1yf0r0 | t5_2to41 | 19 | devals: TIFU by allowing someone to lose their job
We've been anticipating QA inspection via "secret shopper" for months now, it's a pretty big deal for the establishment. Essentially, the whole business was on the line.
This guy was on the register next to mine when the woman who turned out to be our secret shopper ... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1392874757 | 1393019440 | t3_1yf1zq | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my wallet
My friend and I started this tradition where one day every week, he and I will watch The Bachelor together. We prefer to watch it live but some weeks, one of us might be busy so we just avoid the news and social networks for a day or two until we're both free. I usually make dinn... | 3 | 9 | |
1392877944 | 1392933622 | t3_1yf68c | t5_2to41 | 8,491 | igetreallybored: TIFU By having gay sex with my cousin when i was 6 years old and attempted to casually bring it up now that we are adults.
Background. My cousin and i (both male) were having a sleep over when we were around 6 years old. We started talking about girls and about how they could pee, we couldn't figure it... | 13 | 653.153846 | |
1392904550 | 1392998878 | t3_1yfuou | t5_2to41 | 18 | koranuso: TIFU by scratching my nuts after dicing a bunch of Jalapenos.
I was sitting in agony when my GF suggested I dunk my dingleberries in milk. Didn't think it would work, but it ended the pain almost immediately. Going to have to remember that trick for next time...since this wasn't the first or last time I will ... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1392909029 | 1392964745 | t3_1yg0wd | t5_2to41 | 310 | ribbondino: TIFU by rubbing IcyHot on my clit.
I remembered having this tube of warming lube, and while I was doing my thing I decided to grab the IcyHot next to me to use in place of it (I was like, warms and cools, right?) I knew that you couldn't get it into the actual vagina, but I didn't think it would harm just t... | 6 | 51.666667 | |
1392912228 | 1392924513 | t3_1yg629 | t5_2to41 | 73 | TheVillain117: TIFU by giving a horrible strip tease.
So my girlfriend is laying in bed last night and as I walk in (fully clothed since I was taking the trash out) I decide it would be fun to give her a sultry strip tease. So I get into it, and in my best imitation of the "happy birthday mr president" out of nowhere m... | 5 | 14.6 | |
1392910219 | 1392914987 | t3_1yg2r2 | t5_2to41 | 107 | SithLordDarthRevan: TIFU by stopping a pee midstream
Today, as I was taking a piss, I heard something loud in the other room and it startled me, causing me to stop peeing in the middle of it all. Because of that, a muscle right next to the prostate seized up and gave me the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I immed... | 7 | 15.285714 | |
1392908588 | 1392928862 | t3_1yg0b2 | t5_2to41 | 12 | KristyConfused: TIFU by not locking my car doors
First, a TIFU-style bit of background info that's relevant to the story: my minivan was hit yesterday in a parking lot, at about 20 miles per hour, on the passenger side. I was turning in to the lot to park when someone in a little sports car came barreling around the co... | 3 | 4 | |
1392915713 | 1392924263 | t3_1ygc27 | t5_2to41 | 24 | PropZero: TIFU by sending flowers
For background I have been friends with this girl for the past 6 years, and really was never more interested then just being friends. Well last month I had a wedding to attend, and I asked her to come as my friend-date due to just ending a 4 year relationship. She even drove out from c... | 3 | 8 | |
1392916921 | 1392948128 | t3_1yge8b | t5_2to41 | 83 | misjudgement: TIFU on a dating site. Badly.
Earlier today, I was checking out Badoo (which is basically a sleazy version of Okcupid/classy version of Craigslist), and I came across the profile of a seemingly cool girl from the same small town as me.
Anyways, Badoo requires you to have a profile picture before you send ... | 4 | 20.75 | |
1392915247 | 1393552966 | t3_1ygb7x | t5_2to41 | 46 | Ferret_butt_fuck: TIFU by using the screenshot feature on my tablet
So I'm skyping with my long distance girlfriend and we start talking about seeing each other this weekend. We start talking about certain things and get a little hot if you know what I mean.
My girlfriend starts teasing me a bit skype, which she has n... | 8 | 5.75 | |
1392912625 | 1392924447 | t3_1yg6or | t5_2to41 | 26 | notsodapperfellow: TIFU by thinking that my roommate would be away at class for a while.
I was woke up this morning by my roommate cussing up a storm. He had overslept and was late for class. I figured he would be gone for a while and decided to watch some porn and beat one out. I had my pants down and was playing with... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1392920167 | 1393035161 | t3_1ygk26 | t5_2to41 | 40 | Crazedmonkey05: TIFU by replying to a post on facebook with a dark humored joke.
So I was scrolling through facebook when this girl posted "Why can't it rain men?" and before I could stop my dumbass I replied "It did, on 9/11" Turns out that her grandpa died in the Twin Towers that day. I done fucked up. Big Time. http... | 4 | 10 | |
1392921933 | 1392922767 | t3_1ygn6s | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by not performing a factory reset on my phone.
So I've been dating this new girl for about two months, and everything is going great. Best relationship I've ever been in. She has a really crappy ancient Motorola phone, and i remembered I had an old backup phone, the original Galaxy, so I decided I would... | 3 | 2 | |
1392922439 | 1392955165 | t3_1ygo2a | t5_2to41 | 64 | Seethsayer: TIFU: Got too drunk, Pissed in my own face.
Last night I got drunk. Way too drunk. White chick drunk. Had to take a piss, but was wobbling pretty badly. Easy fix, I'll just sit and pee like a girl.
I pulled my pants down, went to sit, and stumbled. My ass hit the toilet seat, but my momentum kept carr... | 4 | 16 | |
1392920654 | 1392946085 | t3_1ygkx9 | t5_2to41 | 10 | HooksFourHands: TIFU by getting creeped out by spam texts
This morning I woke up to find I had five new texts. All of them were from the same number, and they sounded like some perv trying desperately to hit on me. This "person" claimed they saw my picture on Facebook and wanted to chat.
I asked all my friends to un-... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1392919210 | 1393580322 | t3_1ygi8l | t5_2to41 | 9 | EPIDIDYMIS_HUMMUS: TIFU by eating Subway.
Me and my buddies decided to go to subway yesterday. It was actually pretty good.
But late last night, food poisoning reared it's ugly head. I vomited 4 times last night, and got explosive diarrhea on top of it. I still feel really shitty today, having lost sleep and feeling a... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1392920144 | 1393197556 | t3_1ygk05 | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally handing in homework with dog shit on it
Seeing as though I commute to school, I usually keep all my books scattered in the back seat of my car. I had a lab book for a higher level kinesiology class back there that I had to hand in today. Since its not an intro class, the professor expect... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1392928035 | 1392929815 | t3_1ygycz | t5_2to41 | 29 | uncomfortably_dumb: TIFU by cleaning my razor.
This was a few years back, decided to share with my new Reddit account.
One weekday morning, while preparing for school, I decided that it was time to take my bi-monthly shave. I was not a very swarthy dude at this time, so shaving needed to be done very infrequently.
... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1392930455 | 1392937364 | t3_1yh2vz | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking a girl I really like out.
Backstory: So yeah, compared to most of the shit here this is nothing, but none the less my 16 year old head of an idiot feels the need to atleast get it of my chest.
So theres me, I'm overweight pretty anti-social and a terrible interpreter of women. Cliche fuck up... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1392933565 | 1392996648 | t3_1yh8t1 | t5_2to41 | 28 | NiceGuysFinishLast: TIFU by doing my job better than the machine that does my job. Now I have to do more of that job.
I'm a machinist. I make medical devices, and among the 2000+ products we sell, we make a bunch of drivers. Basically long metal tubes that either turn a screw, pass a suture into a wound, or do both (or... | 4 | 7 | |
1392924832 | 1393264443 | t3_1ygsf6 | t5_2to41 | 15 | cht93: TIFU by running out of patience
So my university has two roads leaving campus toward my apartment, the only ways past the railyard that borders campus. One's a bridge over the yard, one has a few sets of tracks across it. I took the route with the tracks.
I get to the tracks while a train is crossing. "This sho... | 3 | 5 | |
1392924583 | 1393137247 | t3_1ygrxd | t5_2to41 | 10 | zweischeisse: TIFU by not controlling an innocuous habit
This is more funny than a fuck-up. In fact, its arguably not a fuck up, since there was no fallout. Thought you guys might enjoy it, though.
First, the habit: After someone refers to object X as adjective/descriptor Y, I frequently will respond with the phrase "... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1392935307 | 1392950723 | t3_1yhc0w | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting my pants in fear on my way up the stairs.
So I've been having troubles with diarrhea lately and I just wanted something to drink from downstairs. In our house we have lamps on timers. The one in the hallway leading to the kitchen turns off at 10pm. So it's about 9:57 and I head down for a dr... | 5 | 5 | |
1392949959 | 1393292406 | t3_1yi0pl | t5_2to41 | 83 | Adam300: TIFU by sending a picture of my fully erect penis to my Mum
Recently, I have decided to grow my beard out, which I have never done before. I live away from home at university so I don't see my Mum for months at a time, so when I told he over the phone that I had started growing my beard she demanded that she s... | 4 | 20.75 | |
1392951987 | 1393013019 | t3_1yi407 | t5_2to41 | 35 | nixcrawler: TIFU by getting a hanging wedgie... from myself.
On nice days like today my friends and I like to meet up at this park near my house and just chill and maybe play some ultimate frisbee after school. I live really close to the park, so I usually just walk there, but I approach the park from the back. There i... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1392955094 | 1392997693 | t3_1yi8yf | t5_2to41 | 2,972 | lozerz: TIFU by buying a pregnancy test on Amazon.
Who I am - 19 year old female college student.
Straight up - my periods are irregular.
I had been feeling sick (tired, cold, lethargic, sharp pains, woozy) lately and hadn't had my period in over two months. I decided, hey I should buy a pregnancy test- just incase.... | 10 | 297.2 | |
1392960473 | 1393014881 | t3_1yigwd | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by laughing at my friend in history
There i was with my friends in history and we were going around the class reading about the Australian history of aboriginal rights and after a while it gets to me. I have to read about the stolen generations which is a horrible thing Australia did where they took all... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1392960229 | 1392965205 | t3_1yigjx | t5_2to41 | 2 | Kittypie070: TIFU by not installing Silverlight
...and how if I do not have it installed or want it installed on this new computer which I recieved as a gift some months ago, I am an "idiot", a "jug-arsed pig", a "f**kin Luddite", I am "painfully stupid with computers", and I do not like free speech.
This, earlier tod... | 5 | 0.4 | |
1392970544 | 1393025122 | t3_1yirvj | t5_2to41 | 110 | periodTW2014: [NSFL] TIFU by not sitting down when I removed a feminine hygiene product.
So I'm a woman and our bodies do this thing on average once a month where we shed the linings of our internal organs. Cool.
My body is currently going through this process of removing blood and tissue in a painful, messy manner wh... | 4 | 27.5 |
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