start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1393527891 | 1393812507 | t3_1z3x5m | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: Tifu by not putting a lock on my locker at the gym
So today I went to the gym like every weekday and I go with my boyfriend. Well I was being an ass and decieded to not put the lock on because I never do he does... well we argue and then after my workout I notice my 400$ glasses are gone.... he said if I apo... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1393536882 | 1393538249 | t3_1z4dhq | t5_2to41 | 85 | nklvh: TIFU by calling the police
I was visiting a university, and at the same time visiting a friend. Said friend is the girl I dreamt of before I met.
Everything was going well, and I had a great time looking around as part of my tour group. When the tour finishes I arrange to meet up at a cafe I had found earlier ... | 6 | 14.166667 | |
1393496430 | 1393539100 | t3_1z2qtw | t5_2to41 | 9 | lionorphenoc: TIFU by forgetting my Mum's birthday
This technically happened on Tuesday, however I only realised it this morning when I saw the date today.
So reddit as the title suggests TIFU by forgetting my mum's birthday and I'm not sure how badly I will suffer for this but it's in all honestly deserved, so if my... | 3 | 3 | |
1393541169 | 1393543708 | t3_1z4lkr | t5_2to41 | 18 | reikou92: TIFU by doing nothing
So, I work as a cashier at a restaurant, and one of my jobs is to make sure that the drivers have everything that they need for the delivery orders - its actually a shared responsibility. Both the drivers and cashiers are supposed to check and double check. For one of my drivers' runs,... | 3 | 6 | |
1393547893 | 1393922910 | t3_1z4x8g | t5_2to41 | 22 | yonoober: TIFU by updating my mom's iPad.
So, my mom got an iPad for her birthday a few years ago and she had been using it ever since. She wanted to update to iOS 7, and she asked me to help out. I obliged.
This is where the fuck up happens. I updated the iPad and deleted everything on it by mistake.
Every.
SINGLE... | 8 | 2.75 | |
1393551984 | 1393588744 | t3_1z53rt | t5_2to41 | 113 | [deleted]: TIFU by driving into a van full of autistic kids
I don't like driving. Never have. But I have to do it and have had no real fuck ups since I've started. Well, until today.
After just gassing up, I pulled out of the gas station and, after a short hesitation of which exit to use, I went with the one I normall... | 5 | 22.6 | |
1393554341 | 1393624171 | t3_1z57lb | t5_2to41 | 5 | why__me: Talking to the Crush?
[deleted]: Well well well
why__me: swell times 3
[deleted]: Make your move :) Rejection is better than regret
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1393555138 | 1393703889 | t3_1z58vh | t5_2to41 | 2 | vogueadishu: TIFU by making my boyfriend cry
Today I made my boyfriend cry. I didn't mean to. Here's a little bit of back story (I apologize if this is too long)... there's this girl he has known for a lot longer than he has known me, and once we met it was apparent (for reasons that are too many to list here) that she... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1393573737 | 1393666720 | t3_1z5x59 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally soaking my eye in hydrogen peroxide
So, lazy dumbass that I am, I ran out of my contact solution a few days ago and have just been using the same solution for the past couple of days. They say that's bad for your eyes but fuck it, right?
Today I decided that I really needed new solutio... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1393570466 | 1393599041 | t3_1z5tyu | t5_2to41 | 48 | Gengar_Galois: TIFU by getting my $1500 plane ticket cancelled
So for a few years my number one item on my bucket list was to visit Brazil during their Carnival festivities. About six months ago I decided to just fuck it and buy the plane tickets. I'd move things around if I had to, but one way or the other I was going... | 6 | 8 | |
1393573811 | 1393581866 | t3_1z5x81 | t5_2to41 | 36 | VeryTallDog: TIFU and locked myself out of my gum
GYM** shit.
It's almost 1am, no one is inside and my jacket and car keys are inside. Fuck.
Now I'm just waiting for someone to hopefully show up to go work out.
porcia918: Are you in yet?
(ha)
VeryTallDog: I had to call a friend to pick me up. It only took me 20 ... | 3 | 12 | |
1393594492 | 1393798901 | t3_1z6ebz | t5_2to41 | 1,571 | 40hzHERO: TIFU By Letting My GF Start the Car in the Garage
She went out to start the car about 35 minutes before we left, and moved it in to the garage.
**SHE CLOSED THE GARAGE DOOR AND LET THE CAR RUN FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR!**
I wasn't aware, and she went out to wait in the car. A few minutes later I came out and sc... | 13 | 120.846154 | |
1393603056 | 1393740634 | t3_1z6pzq | t5_2to41 | 28 | The_Ultimate_Bro: TIFU by riding public transportation
This wasn't today, but last week. So I was down by the local UNI and decided to take the bus home. So I sat down, then at about two stops over a man in his late 30's was extremely high looked like he had just done crack. I had an open seat next to me and this man w... | 6 | 4.666667 | |
1393604059 | 1393679471 | t3_1z6rkv | t5_2to41 | 13 | xternal7: TIFU by overwriting the wrong hard drive
TL;DR: I overwrote the disk and by doing that I lost data as well as both Linux and Windows 8 user profiles (and the loss of the latter is most problematic as it'll take a lot of work to get Win 8 back up and running the way it's supposed to run. It could be far worse ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1393621063 | 1393700036 | t3_1z7kg1 | t5_2to41 | 77 | Poontastic: TIFU By masturbating in the shower.
So I get off work and take my usual morning dump before I shower, it's about 6:30am. I usually shower and go to bed with my GF until she goes to class. Today I was feeling particularly horny, so I decided to jerk off in the shower. So I jerk off, and when I finish I notic... | 5 | 15.4 | |
1393633022 | 1393735791 | t3_1z83m3 | t5_2to41 | 930 | Throwarockaway: TIFU by masturbating (NSFW)
(Throwaway).
Today I was cooking some potato snacks in the oven.
My girlfriend is away for the weekend so I was browsing the internet. Needless to say, I stumbled upon some NSFW content. I was horny as all hell. Forgetting I put the potato snacks in the oven, I went to the... | 18 | 51.666667 | |
1393629507 | 1393698058 | t3_1z7ydq | t5_2to41 | 12 | snowfey: TIFU by eating strawberries.
Not using a throwaway. Fuck it, shit happens (no pun intended).
I stopped at the store on my way to work tonight and ended up getting a container of strawberries for a snack. So I'm in the back office, taking inventory, eating my strawberries, all is well. All of a sudden, my stom... | 3 | 4 | |
1393633978 | 1393653264 | t3_1z84zv | t5_2to41 | 23 | rterrana691: TIFU by not bringing bags with me when I walked my dog
I took my dog out for a walk so he can go to the bathroom as usual. I noticed about a block away I didn't have any bags in the bag holder. I said fuck it I guess his poo is gonna be one with the earth now. After sniffing around and not doing anything t... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1393642953 | 1393736047 | t3_1z8he6 | t5_2to41 | 71 | louddogwifebeating: TIFU by calling the cops about my neighbors' dog and then needing to call again for domestic violence.
I live in an apartment complex with town homes. I moved here recently, and on one side the TV is always so loud that I can actually hear every word of Springer every day, and I'm actually fine with... | 7 | 10.142857 | |
1393638917 | 1393754757 | t3_1z8bvi | t5_2to41 | 47 | The500hats: TIFU by running through a wall with a forklift.
The titles says it all. I ran a forklift through a wall at work. Today. Not even an hour ago. Goddamnit... Now don't get me wrong, I didn't bump into on accident. I didn't graze it slightly while making a turn. No. I went THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL. Needless to ... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1393637002 | 1393651801 | t3_1z89ai | t5_2to41 | 12 | lostintime2004: TIFU by going all Evander Holyfield on my calf.
So last night I was stoked, its about 10pm and I am feeling tired for the first time in a long time (insomnia). I lay down, and wake up to the excruciating pain of a muscle spasm about an hour later. I have had nocturnal leg cramps for a long while, so not... | 3 | 4 | |
1393677067 | 1393705910 | t3_1z9efp | t5_2to41 | 128 | Just_some_soundguy: TIFU by walking to Wendys
This happened exactly 4 hours and 30 minutes ago. So yesterday at 11:45pm. I want Reddit to know... I sharted real bad.
I work in live events and the past week has been fairly busy and I've been around McDonald's a lot. It seems like (has been) my lunch/dinner the past c... | 4 | 32 | |
1393676901 | 1393684673 | t3_1z9eav | t5_2to41 | 147 | PlopKitties: TIFU by trying to kill a mosquito in my room.
I am a bit clumsy. Very, so when I was making something tasty I got a pretty bad blister on the side of my palm. It grew and got all pus filled and blegh. I put a band-aid on because burns are weird to me and I'm not the best with taking care of them. I go abou... | 5 | 29.4 | |
1393693595 | 1393714493 | t3_1z9xfi | t5_2to41 | 344 | DemHooksOP: TIFU by confusing application due dates
Well fuck my life. I and 4 other students in my whole uni were nominated for an award that required us to submit and application for review. It required a bunch of stuff so I put it off thinking it was due the 5th of March.
Well I finally got everything together tod... | 6 | 57.333333 | |
1393705552 | 1393778052 | t3_1zafno | t5_2to41 | 1,438 | aunty_strophe: TIFU and chemical burned my sack (NSFW)
Backstory: I generally try to keep myself as neat and tidy as possible south of the border, partially for the sake of cleanliness but more because I think it's really gross if things get overgrown. Whilst it's quite enough to just keep my pubes under control I comp... | 11 | 130.727273 | |
1393705880 | 1393741581 | t3_1zag6x | t5_2to41 | 62 | PicklePalooza: TIFU by commiting hamstercide.
This actually happened a couple of days ago, but whatever. My little brother C has a pet hamster named James, and James had a very peculiar habit of covering up his food with the paper shreds we use for lining(I don't know if this is a regular hamster thing or not). This ma... | 4 | 15.5 | |
1393715370 | 1393994581 | t3_1zauv7 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Enigma87: TIFU by calling a Chinese act Japanese at a university culture event in front of over a 1000 people.
So reddit, I'm a committee member on our university's Alzheimer's society, we raise money for the charity and it's really great etc etc.
Anyway, every year at my university there is an event called GoGlobal, ... | 8 | 4.5 | |
1393722121 | 1393736791 | t3_1zb4t3 | t5_2to41 | 92 | Dick_in_a_b0x: TIFU by offering my girlfriend's brother's friends a ride.
The poor kid is in the hospital undergoing chemotherapy for the second time around. As a surprise , we decided to offer his friends a ride to the hospital. The back seat of my sedan was packed with about 4 teens, one of which smelled like he ran ... | 4 | 23 | |
1393727480 | 1393896739 | t3_1zbccl | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by squeezing what I thought was a zit.
Here's where I say that this wasn't today, but a week and a half ago. I'm a 24 year old guy and the Thursday before last, I felt a sore spot on my tail bone. I have gotten this before, and while a bit unpleasant, it usually goes away after a few days. So it kept ge... | 5 | 13 | |
1393733973 | 1393763151 | t3_1zblfh | t5_2to41 | 24 | Penguinseatfish: TIFU by trying to fix my clogged kitchen sink
Day 1: My wife discovers the sink was clogged. Since my dad worked as a Roto Rooter guy and I had watched him clean numerous pipes when I was a kid I felt this was something I could handle without calling someone in. (RIP Dad, hope you got a good laugh.)
F... | 3 | 8 | |
1393742200 | 1393880548 | t3_1zbuyv | t5_2to41 | 88 | Anonymous_user_95: TIFU and sent my professor pony porn
So i have a paper due 2 days ago. my professor gave me an extension and told me to email it to him when i was done. i mixed up the paper with the folder filled with my little pony porn "why is that there? i was trolling my friends it's a long story" anyway i accid... | 13 | 6.769231 | |
1393727014 | 1393745648 | t3_1zbboh | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU: By simultaneously getting myself fired and almost letting diarrhea loose in my pants.
*Ok, this wasn't today. That's my first confession. This actually happened a few weeks ago, but it's taken a while for me to see the humor in it. Still, I totally fucked up pretty bad. So rewind to earlier in February... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1393733826 | 1393784631 | t3_1zbl83 | t5_2to41 | 12 | xmod14: tifu by buying a game that is currently out of my system limits
So yesterday I got some steam money and bought a few games adding up to an impressive total of $95.20. One of those happened to be the Early Access game Planetary Annihilation. I forgot to read the system requirements, and i run the very far outdat... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1393745475 | 1393782891 | t3_1zby15 | t5_2to41 | 1,094 | Talvanen: TIFU by being a creepy weirdo in front of a whole family at work.
Let me keep this short and sweet:
I'm a cashier. Our store is near a movie theater. On weekends in particular we get a large influx of people in to buy cheap candy for the movies.
It just so happens that our software got updated, so the debi... | 11 | 99.454545 | |
1393742966 | 1393858478 | t3_1zbvrf | t5_2to41 | 29 | jpcassil: TIFU by picking my friend up from the Metro.
I had the most bizarre accident tonight: I went to my car to pick a buddy up from public transportation (he's staying with me for the weekend in DC.) and in the dark, I rounded the back of my car too fast, while stepping downward to the pavement from the curb sidew... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1393761636 | 1393762941 | t3_1zc9lp | t5_2to41 | 1 | myhugetits: TIFU by masturbating to TIFU at the library
T3hBau5: What TIFU did you flick the bean to?
myhugetits: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1z83m3/tifu_by_masturbating_nsfw/ this one i am bi
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1393761304 | 1393866591 | t3_1zc9cg | t5_2to41 | 83 | nobgobbling101: Today I fucked up by wanking too hard.
I started feeling horny while trying to sleep, to help me sleep, I decided to start masturbating. Over 20 minutes had past and I still couldn't spit. about 10 minutes later my penis started to go limp. I was determined though after 10 minutes I finally came, I felt... | 6 | 13.833333 | |
1393738806 | 1393807369 | t3_1zbrbt | t5_2to41 | 11 | kjm6137: TIFU by spilling milk on an air mattress
So, about 4 hours ago I was drinking milk in my room. I had had a friend over the night before and was too lazy to move the air mattress I laid out for him to lay on. Earlier in that day, I was told, "Don't cry over spilled milk." Well now I am. My glass of milk was sit... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1393785845 | 1393806123 | t3_1zd2u4 | t5_2to41 | 1,896 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my wife arrested after church in front of our kids
Hey reddit, I just want to get this fuck up off my chest.
**Some Background:**
My wife and I are going through a tough period, constantly having arguments and always fighting. Lately it became a little violent, as she started to self harm du... | 15 | 126.4 | |
1393786766 | 1393819783 | t3_1zd4cx | t5_2to41 | 11 | Quanto21: TIFUpdate: 55 Gallon Coating Pictures.
Sorry about making this a new post, if it breaks the rules I'll add it to my old post.
[http://imgur.com/a/xlMiI]
knucklebone: i seen a guy drop a pallet of mayonnaise from 25' in the air. that doesn't look too bad.
Quanto21: Does it look bad? Eh not really. But the s... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1393794431 | 1393874186 | t3_1zdh8r | t5_2to41 | 180 | BamfNinjaRaptor: TIFU by flashing my neighbors and getting dick frostbite
So today, I had nothing better to do today than sit naked and play drinking games against myself. This resulted in me being very, very drunk.. at 11 am. Being as I am when I'm drunk, I decided to take a break from watching tv and knockout a fap s... | 5 | 36 | |
1393796592 | 1393825628 | t3_1zdl1b | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking out my friend [17F, 17M]
I met him on a class trip to Paris, and he was part of a group of 5 that I spent most of the trip with. He goes to another high school in my city. During the trip we got drunk a few times and made out, and we'd say cute things and everything was great. When sober we we... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1393804067 | 1393806543 | t3_1zdxnx | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my crush to fuck off.
So, today i was really mad about everything (as usual) and when i'm mad i try to play video games to calm myself or listen to music but, this girl that i really like talked to me in the morning and we started joking around. Long story short she said a joke and i got so m... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1393794565 | 1393815969 | t3_1zdhgm | t5_2to41 | 40 | chunk3ymonk3y: TIFU by asking a girl to be friends with benefits
**As a head's up: this story is a bit long but very well worth it in my opinion**
No throwaway, no shame. It might be important to note that we're both sophomores in high school. Also, this whole ordeal was just minutes ago.
So there's this girl I've ha... | 7 | 5.714286 | |
1393809814 | 1393810352 | t3_1ze6xv | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU today be being too overeager...
I have been waiting two years to apply for an internship (that is EXTREMELY competitive) in order to get more experience and make sure that I was accepted. Haven't gotten accepted yet, but got a phone call in order to have an interview in a couple weeks. Now I may be ov... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1393810306 | 1394023766 | t3_1ze7s8 | t5_2to41 | 32 | JumpingJellybeanzz: TIFU by nearly running myself over
So this was the other day however I haven't had much internet downtime to post it due to uni but anyway,
So the other day i was driving to a friends and my mum wanted me to drop in some shopping bags at her work (She works at a primary school). I was kind of reluc... | 4 | 8 | |
1393826643 | 1393844478 | t3_1zew3o | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally admitting to my mother that I drink alcohol underaged
I am cringing so hard right now.
So I just got off the phone with my mother. She was just checking in to see how this semester at college is going. I started explaining a potential housing situation next year with about 5 other guy... | 7 | 3.285714 | |
1393825067 | 1393889484 | t3_1zeu38 | t5_2to41 | 19 | zchild: TIFU by warming up my car.
So it's night time and I am an assistant manager about to close the store. The weather mind you is pretty awful, freezing rain and sleet and snow. I get everything finished early but an employee is waiting for his ride home so we wait inside the store until they get there. I go out an... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1393836497 | 1393865753 | t3_1zf62f | t5_2to41 | 345 | [deleted]: TIFU by riding my bike to get wine.
Drank some wine after work, ran out, decided to ride roommates bike to the market about 2 miles away. (DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.) Tire went flat half way there, starts raining, lost bike lock somewhere along the way, store doesn't have wine I wanted but I buy a bottle based o... | 8 | 43.125 | |
1393863384 | 1393891613 | t3_1zfxbv | t5_2to41 | 194 | Defiant_Popcorn: TIFU By leaving my Facebook open whilst relatives were over... (Probably NSFW)
So, like the title says, I left my facebook open whilst some of my relatives were over, including my shitty little spoilt cousin. Now, normally this wouldn't have been a big deal except that I let him use my laptop, a few mi... | 6 | 32.333333 | |
1393871148 | 1393935807 | t3_1zgam6 | t5_2to41 | 39 | FatMatti: TIFU by grating my finger instead of the cheese
Basically my finger slipped and now my pinkie looks like shredded cheese; I don't think you need any more information than that
AttackTribble: I feel your pain. I once was slicing tomatoes using a mandolin, and sliced the end of a finger off. There was a quite a... | 6 | 6.5 | |
1393872119 | 1393893639 | t3_1zgcdw | t5_2to41 | 964 | [deleted]: TIFU by whacking myself in the left nut
I am in so much pain right now. A few hours ago I was playing badminton at school. I am terrible at it so I, for some reason, decided to do this weird jump-shot in which I spread my legs and jumped up to hit the shuttlecock. In doing so, I managed to miss the shuttleco... | 9 | 107.111111 | |
1393879242 | 1393882903 | t3_1zgpdi | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my sister pregnant
Okay /r/tifu I fucked up big time..so my sister has been living with me for 2 months since I don't have a license and I need rides to work. Today after work I decided to take a nap and was woken up by my sister crying on the phone with my mom..I didn't hear everything but I... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1393878640 | 1394021052 | t3_1zgoaw | t5_2to41 | 14 | HooksFourHands: TIFU by eating old butter
Today I came back from class absolutely starving, since I hadn't had time to eat breakfast. I decided to make mac & cheese. All was well until it came time to stir in the butter. There were two sticks left--one still in the box, another one half used and wrapped up sitting ... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1393887869 | 1393901727 | t3_1zh5h7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by Facebook Swastikas
So I am in school. I used to have an Instagram and Facebook. Yesterday, I stupidly decided it was a good idea to talk about swastikas and to joke about 9/11. (this is really cool: 卐) Although I did not make any threat against anyone, when I went in to school today, I was called to ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1393886262 | 1393932986 | t3_1zh2mz | t5_2to41 | 26 | FunkyPunked: TIFU by reversing into my mother's car.
Last Saturday, at around 10:30pm, I was lucky enough to go out with my parents and buy a car. I was pretty excited about this, since I passed my test months ago but didn't think I'd have a car any time soon, due to lack of funding. So we bought the car, drove it home... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1393899160 | 1393945224 | t3_1zhotp | t5_2to41 | 72 | CowardAndAThief: TIFU by hastily cutting off a small hard growth on my thumb
So I play guitar a lot, like to the point that my fingers are always injured in some way. I have thick callouses, but today I noticed something different on my thumb, it didn't seem like a callous, it was just one bump and nearly pure white in... | 6 | 12 | |
1393902590 | 1393910909 | t3_1zhupu | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Today I fucked up by assuming my boyfriend wanted to get frisky when we got home from work.
VioletskiesTN: i dont quite understand why you wouldnt just wait till you started playing around...moreso when you realized your plan failed just take it out then....
86_TG: I'm curious, can you summarize the post? I... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1393906072 | 1394509765 | t3_1zi0bw | t5_2to41 | 53 | Sylvaram: TIFU By Not Checking My Applicant Page
New account, first TIFU post, long time lurker yada yada yada.
Well this is more of a For-the-last-few-months I Fucked Up. I'm a student applying to colleges and as those of you that have done it know, it's a pain. I've applied to quite a few colleges and started losin... | 17 | 3.117647 | |
1393910543 | 1393957722 | t3_1zi72a | t5_2to41 | 25 | Goononthemoon: TIFU by drinking too much water at the gym.
I didn't really feel anything during the workout, but it didn't take me long to start feeling like an overfilled water balloon as I biked back to my dorms.
Managed to make it all the way across the quiet, 99% empty campus and back to the well-populated dor... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1393919236 | 1393953529 | t3_1zih6m | t5_2to41 | 47 | RosaHosa: TIFU by switching from a pad to a tampon. (NSFW-ish)
This just happened a few hours ago.
It's the evening, and I'm on the rag. And oh shit, I got a fucking stain as usual.
My menstrual cycle is generally heavy, so I wasn't so surprised that I got a stain just from laying down in bed. I was wearing a sanitary... | 6 | 7.833333 | |
1393947054 | 1394532994 | t3_1zj9kj | t5_2to41 | 1,212 | yopeasants: TIFU by showering myself in dog shit
Every morning I walk my 2 dogs, one of which is on a retractable leash and the other on a conventional leash. This often leads to some tangling, forcing me to do a twirl in order to separate the 2 leashes.
So this morning, I was walking them both when one of them decide... | 10 | 121.2 | |
1393952639 | 1394077678 | t3_1zjjhv | t5_2to41 | 59 | deathbyblackhole: TIFU by dropping a lighter into sidewalk grate
Smokers can relate, sometimes you accidentally pocket a lighter that you borrowed from a friend. Usually it's not a big deal because lighters come and go.
A few weeks back I pocketed a lighter from a friend who was insistent that he wanted it back. I ca... | 5 | 11.8 | |
1393955209 | 1394043739 | t3_1zjocc | t5_2to41 | 137 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my drawings out...
These aren't just any drawings, they are mostly hentai I've done over the past 3 years or so. I have always had them in a specific hiding place, but today I decided I'd just move the folder they were in to where I keep the rest of my drawings because I was pretty sure by no... | 4 | 34.25 | |
1393959783 | 1393961756 | t3_1zjx7e | t5_2to41 | 42 | PantsShitter60: TIFU by shitting my pants as I was driving down the highway on the way to a youth basketball game
So this happened to my dad last night not me, however the story is too good not to tell. I will be telling this story from his perspective:
Hi reddit. I am a 53 year old father of three and a youth basketb... | 3 | 14 | |
1393954973 | 1396259957 | t3_1zjnvo | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by wasting my job.
So, I found a personal teacher job for a twelfth grade. Yesterday I've been to an association I'm being apart of as a volunteer. There was alcohol, I drank but I wasn't really drunk. It ended at midnight (approximately). We decided to go to a bar. At 2am we left, I went home. Drunk a ... | 11 | 2 | |
1393980852 | 1394106273 | t3_1zkzak | t5_2to41 | 69 | EnderWyatt: TIFU by expressing my feelings
So, I've been hanging out with talking to this girl in my class for a long time now, and we've become very close friends. She constantly finds ways to touch me, or reasons to smother me with "friendly" affection (hugs, cooing when I'm sick, etc.). For instance, during my cooki... | 9 | 7.666667 | |
1393989150 | 1393989690 | t3_1zld2q | t5_2to41 | 12 | _Spider: TIFU by taking a shit.
So I usually try to go every morning so once my day is done, I get home, and go again. No public restrooms necessary.
But, you know, I was in a rush this morning, so I didn't get my chance to go. There's some serious build-up by the end of the day. But, you know, I make it home. I get t... | 3 | 4 | |
1393976139 | 1394000882 | t3_1zkr7e | t5_2to41 | 30 | Babba2theLabba: TIFU by vomiting on a bus.
I regret not submitting this earlier, because it is actually a "2 months ago I fucked up" story. It is still worth telling, though.
I had caught a cold two days before the incident. Probably from some well-placed sneeze or uncovered cough. Fast-forward a bit, and I get out of... | 3 | 10 | |
1394007123 | 1394076895 | t3_1zm0kd | t5_2to41 | 106 | throwaway25502550: TIFU by going to a party
So a few weeks ago i got invited to a party. It was from an 18 year old girl that i have had a crush on for the past few years now (I'm 17) and her friend who i have never met. Now I'm no idiot and I know there's going to be drinking and hookups and that's not really my thing... | 4 | 26.5 | |
1393983494 | 1394155738 | t3_1zl3nf | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting an acquaintance the thought of our mutual friend's recent death made my mouth water
A little background, I'm a film student at a university. It's a small (less than fifty students each year) program in a school of about 13,000. So as far as film students go, we all know, or are at the very le... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1393997538 | 1394123100 | t3_1zlpu2 | t5_2to41 | 60 | bberry115: TIFU by throwing condoms at my grandmother.
While technically this happened around Fourth of July last summer I did not find this subreddit until recently so I figured I'd share now.
Last summer I was given the opportunity to take a few intensive language courses. This took up 12 weeks of my summer, so my o... | 4 | 15 | |
1394017373 | 1394634409 | t3_1zm8vt | t5_2to41 | 131 | Tommygun9504: TIFU by inundating several kilograms of beef in human blood
Didn't think I was going to be posting on TIFU again so soon, but here we go, sit down and buckle up.
I work as a casual at a certain well known fast food chain (We'll call it The Scottish Restaurant, honestly don't care how much of a dead givea... | 9 | 14.555556 | |
1394019928 | 1394139672 | t3_1zmaxo | t5_2to41 | 2,667 | squiressquire: TIFU by giving a customer a 99% discount
Well, at work we have a separate EFTPOS machine which requires myself to input the cost that the POs system displays. So when someone bought a platter for $55 I inputed it, but I forgot to press 0 twice, and charged them $0.55 for it, a 99% discount. The customers... | 15 | 177.8 | |
1394044194 | 1394121529 | t3_1zn8sh | t5_2to41 | 43 | cfard: TIFU by taking $5 off of 100 gift cards
[Repost: misspelt title]
This happened back in November. I was a noob cashier, and a customer came into Store with a coupon that said "Get $5 off $25 gift cards from these stores!" and Store was in the list. So he bought 100 of them. This flyer he showed me was not from S... | 3 | 14.333333 | |
1394044932 | 1394118511 | t3_1zna3q | t5_2to41 | 282 | TheOtherAvaz: TIFU by telling my wife she smells. (NSFW)
We had both gotten out of the shower and were full-on in the middle of an awesome fuck session when I told her to turn over to the side of the bed for some doggiestyle. As soon as I got into position, I was nasally assaulted by some vile stench of indescribable o... | 9 | 31.333333 | |
1394053491 | 1394138306 | t3_1znpvf | t5_2to41 | 19 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU and might get kicked out of school.
So, I can't feel the cold.
Well, I can, but not on the levels other people can. I'm a Canadian, with native background and Irish blood. -20 degrees Celsius? Pass me my spring jacket.
I am also a smoker.
What does cold weather with no protection and smoke in y... | 7 | 2.714286 | |
1394054911 | 1394157550 | t3_1znsj8 | t5_2to41 | 211 | Lattice0123: TIFU by fingering my spiral ring notebook in class.
So, while I was in an English seminar about [Edgar Allan Poe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Allan_Poe), I quickly became bored out of my skull. Though I will admit that I love many of his works, Cask of Amontilliado, Fall of the House of Usher, etc..... | 8 | 26.375 | |
1394056420 | 1394130874 | t3_1znv84 | t5_2to41 | 261 | mcgmets: TIFU by throwing shit out the window at work (x-post r/funny)
My buddy who works in NYC sent me this today:
I work in a small office with about 6 other people. We only have one bathroom with one toilet, and the walls are very thin.
I haven't been able to think since.
So I had an iced coffee from Starbucks, ... | 4 | 65.25 | |
1394048132 | 1394141211 | t3_1znfys | t5_2to41 | 16 | TeenageButts: TIFU by getting scammed by a voodoo priestess
So this happened about two years ago when I was 16, but its still worth the share.
My family and I went on vacation to New Orleans, which was pretty cool because it is a completely different culture there than I am used to. One night we all went to dinner and... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1394084288 | 1394130538 | t3_1zp3xl | t5_2to41 | 735 | dunecumt: TIFU, I called a girl in my class a "stupid fucking twat" and made her cry...
We were doing some group work and I was leaning over to my friends table with my back to her, when she said "hey could you cover that up?" and pointed at my plumbers crack. The smile and laughing face of her and the guy next to her ... | 14 | 52.5 | |
1394101540 | 1394104688 | t3_1zpjy9 | t5_2to41 | 26 | jesterfraud: TIFU by sending a copy of a note I left about a customer to the customer
At the store I work at, I was processing an item that the owner was returning for repair who attempted to physically intimidate me and make me choose the most favourable options in the form (aka committing fraud). I left a note about ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1394073744 | 1394251829 | t3_1zoo9l | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting drunk and entering a contest.
Carnaval, Brazil.
I'm not one to go out much but my internet went down and sure as hell wasn't coming back up during the biggest party of the year.
I head down to the main avenue to see the parade and get hammered.
After a grand total of 5 caipirinhas (cachaça... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1394119189 | 1394145303 | t3_1zq2hu | t5_2to41 | 156 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my mother.
So lately, I've been having some doubts about my relationship with my boyfriend. I moved to a new state with him over a year ago, and we are now 1000 miles away from our home state and parents.
Yada yada yada...whenever I'm anxious it helps knowing that I have an alternative, li... | 13 | 12 | |
1394123253 | 1394344928 | t3_1zq8vi | t5_2to41 | 1,088 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending an explicit text to my brother. Fuck.
I was sending my boyfriend a text after getting to school. At this point, he'd already been at work for a couple of hours: I sleep in after he leaves. Here's the text in question:
> I had so much fun with your big cock in my mouth this morning ;) Hehe... | 24 | 45.333333 | |
1394129166 | 1394209508 | t3_1zqiz3 | t5_2to41 | 64 | jacksrdtt: TIFU by trying to impress a girl at RadioShack with my vast knowledge of cellular rate plans.
This actually happened last night and it was horrible.
To start this off I work at RadioShack and these days our traffic consists mostly of people looking to start a new cellular plan. Anyways girl walks in, maybe a... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1394135462 | 1394211664 | t3_1zqtya | t5_2to41 | 70 | weekendlush: TIFU by buying a toy
I finally splurged on a luxury vibrator I had been eyeing for a while. Hey I'm single. I just got divorced. Now would be the best time. Dropped $150 on it and I'm excited as hell. Whoops. Forgot to change the delivery address. Where is it going? Straight to my ex husband's house. OF CO... | 6 | 11.666667 | |
1394139567 | 1394212139 | t3_1zr15z | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU by cleaning my phone on my shirt
I work in a business casual environment and today I was wearing a polo shirt because the weather is nice. Anyways, I was on my break, went to the restroom and while I was standing at the urinal doing my business, my phone buzzes. I reach over to get it out and it slips r... | 7 | 6.714286 | |
1394138254 | 1394145620 | t3_1zqyt8 | t5_2to41 | 38 | Nagisa94: TIFU by not clearing my phone history
I was texting my mom about a project for astronomy. Needed to get a scale model of Neptune, and I was asking if we had any spherical objects with a diameter of about 10 inches. Inches somehow was auto corrected to "incestcomics". She didn't comment on it, I think she's... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1394132844 | 1394227104 | t3_1zqpcp | t5_2to41 | 27 | Straw_berry: Tifu by saying I'd buy my grandmother a door.
There have been a lot of break ins lately in the area, and my grandmother's house was a target back when it started. They broke in the front door and took what little they could find.
Well her next door neighbour has now been robbed twice in the last month, ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1394148315 | 1394217687 | t3_1zrgua | t5_2to41 | 11 | pmsrwadc21: TIFU by cumming on a girl's face then laughing at her. (NSFW-ish)
Soo.. I want to start off by saying I'm an asshole. I already know..
My SO and I rented a hotel room for the weekend which consisted of: wine, weed, and sexy time. About ~4 hours into the day we've already downed 3 and a half bottles of Mosc... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1394153153 | 1394221841 | t3_1zrokm | t5_2to41 | -1 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking at porn, which was seen by my GF when she used my laptop
Me and my GF have been dating for about 2 years and she has always joked about me looking at porn and said she didn't care if I did it's what guys do. I don't really look at it that often, I don't need to she more than satisfies me. Wel... | 12 | -0.083333 | |
1394154460 | 1394160842 | t3_1zrqn7 | t5_2to41 | 10 | TheGreatSte: by browsing my friends porn folders. [NSFW]
i_pk_pjers_i: Wait... Were they naked pictures?
TheGreatSte: Some were some weren't. From my observation it was a mix of privately collected nudes, as well as, what could be the shit end of the spectrum for fap material, off of Facebook, Instagram, and twitter.
... | 5 | 2 | |
1394163426 | 1394320558 | t3_1zs43v | t5_2to41 | 605 | MyLeftNutRuinedIt: TIFU by having an uncontrollable left testicle.
Last night my team and I presented our work. We were presenting a project that we had spent months working on to a large group of architects, engineers, and business owners..
So, as the event begins, everything is going perfectly fine. I'm prepared... | 7 | 86.428571 | |
1394162621 | 1394223463 | t3_1zs2vc | t5_2to41 | 50 | coachpgoesham: TIFU by trying dip for the first time
As a freshman in college I am being exposed to many new people and new things. One of which is dip or chewing tobacco. Where I came from I never knew anyone that ever dipped. My roomate does it all the time and he especially likes to dip when he takes a dump. He call... | 5 | 10 | |
1394165615 | 1394478133 | t3_1zs75p | t5_2to41 | 14 | thedude018: TIFU by spending 400 dollars on something I can't use.
So I want to upgrade my desktop for gaming. I find a GTX770 4GB that I like. I order it, about 399 bucks, it ships. I go to a movie and come back, its here! I open it, ready to game deep into the night, but it doesn't fit. My case is a mini ITX, the car... | 7 | 2 | |
1394156286 | 1394223619 | t3_1zrtf0 | t5_2to41 | 18 | upads: TIFU talking with my father
So today I had breakfast with my bro and father, our mom outta the house for a medical check up. I am living in China but my father is British so when mom is out, we speak English, yada yada yada. At one point the boys began boasting about his history with girls and we laughed, here c... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1394163282 | 1394217015 | t3_1zs3w4 | t5_2to41 | 126 | cmaster6: TIFU with a sleepwalking mom
Was last night actually but I just moved home to my parents after living by myself for a big move I'm making coming up and I decided to jerk it when I thought everyone was asleep... Fuck was I wrong.. So mid jerk, on my knees in front of my bed I hear the door behind me open and I... | 8 | 15.75 | |
1394161756 | 1394246265 | t3_1zs1lq | t5_2to41 | 24 | TheRedFacedOne: TIFU by getting a blanket from my closet
So today I was just casually dicking around on the internet as always. Nothing out of the usual. I was on Mumble and a friend of mine starts telling me about a guy who was talking about the fact that he was an anti-brony. So I was going to take a selfie of me wit... | 4 | 6 | |
1394169801 | 1394179817 | t3_1zscoa | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by fucking up a car I already can't afford
So I'm a kid who drives a car that is *way* too nice. After dicking around and shit I managed to acquire an off-warranty BMW 3 series with a about 100k miles on it. My parents didn't pay for the entire thing, they just loaned me money, so I still owe ~$2000 on... | 3 | 4 |
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