start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1394769082 | 1394841580 | t3_20dlhq | t5_2to41 | 40 | Broncos_Fan: TIFU by shitting in a minivan
So apparently I got a little stomach bug at work today. A few hours after lunch, my stomach rumbled and I went to the bathroom. Just a little diarrhea, nothing to worry too much about. I felt fine. 20 minutes later, my stomach twists and I bolt back for the bathroom. Worst dia... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1394762094 | 1394809911 | t3_20dbjl | t5_2to41 | 15 | KristyConfused: TIFU and blew up my car's engine.
I don't know why this keeps happening to me.
I used to have a 2000 Ford Taurus. It was a decent car. Got it from Car-Mart in December of 2011. Respectable fuel mileage, mostly dependable. Back in May of last year (2013 for you time travelers out there) the transaxle li... | 5 | 3 | |
1394772945 | 1394776844 | t3_20dq6g | t5_2to41 | 131 | tottenhamhotsauce: TIFU by holding in a sneeze too long.
I was driving to the grocery store and felt a sneeze coming on. I was in a situation in traffic where I didnt want to take my eyes off the road so I tried to hold it back. I was also in the process of holding back a fart.
The problem was I couldnt do both at the... | 3 | 43.666667 | |
1394772556 | 1394887874 | t3_20dpqn | t5_2to41 | 17 | tmama1: TIFU by melting an oil bottle into my engine.
I dressed up to go to a job interview, but had to check my car for oil and fuel.
I went to the local service station and fuelled up my car, then decided to do the oil there and then.
I popped the bonnet and placed the oil bottle onto my still hot engine. It begu... | 8 | 2.125 | |
1394789844 | 1394831351 | t3_20e3tf | t5_2to41 | 38 | Posigen: TIFU by going up the escalator 2 steps at a time
So today, I decided to go up the escalator by jumped one step every time, this lead to me tripping, and this is no pussy escalator, this escalator has fucking teeth on the stairs, they aren't sharp but it isn't exactly good.
I fell knee first, and I thought I w... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1394813522 | 1394849465 | t3_20et05 | t5_2to41 | 1,469 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a formula wrong.
I'm a calibration technician, just found out today that a formula I had on a datasheet was off by one number. Supposed to be a 8, was a 5.
Turns out all the equipment I was working on since August for this particular customer is now incorrect. They are doing a massive recall... | 14 | 104.928571 | |
1394815998 | 1394851567 | t3_20ewud | t5_2to41 | 96 | taylercatherine: TIFU by flushing the toilet.
Yesterday, actually.
my first class of the day got out a little early so I decided I had time to use the restroom after sprinting across campus to my next class.
-Little side note, the literature building at my school is one of the worst designed buildings I've ever seen. ... | 3 | 32 | |
1394820439 | 1394845285 | t3_20f3z1 | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting caught spying on my female roommate.
.
kineo: Yeah, you fucked up for sure. That's really creepy and invasive. Maybe even illegal? I don't know. I assume it is, but I'm no lawyer. She had a reasonable expectation of privacy and you decided to ignore it.
I think you ought to tell her the... | 3 | 7 | |
1394822187 | 1395502551 | t3_20f6vy | t5_2to41 | 57 | ottawapainters: TIFU by accidentally honking at a lady helping disabled people. Twice.
I should get an Awkward Penguin Prize for this fuckup: I was just in a Staples parking lot, about to get out of my car and as I pulled my computer bag out of the back seat, I accidentally laid it on my horn. I look up and to my horro... | 3 | 19 | |
1394821235 | 1394827366 | t3_20f5bd | t5_2to41 | 27 | MicroCosmicMorganism: TIFU. By Taking A Huge Poop
Was helping out my SIL cleaning and felt a call of nature, (well, more a movement, but anyway). So, things were quite bulky and when I flushed the toilet, it immediately started to fill up. I stood there going,
"No, no, no!"
And watched the fucker overflow! I grabbed ... | 3 | 9 | |
1394824502 | 1394945996 | t3_20famn | t5_2to41 | 1,736 | tifuthrowaway17: TIL / TIFU: Turns out I have a kid...
So, 12 years ago, when I was 17, I was in good shape, was able to get in the pubs as I was looking older that I actually was. Drinking age is 18, so it wasn't a huge deal. But here's the story.
17 year old me went to a club on NYE, had some drinks, had a good tim... | 10 | 173.6 | |
1394825906 | 1394938420 | t3_20fcxi | t5_2to41 | 211 | [deleted]: TIFU by flashing tits in class
I just got back to my dorm from class. So today happens to be Pi Day, and at my college they sell Pi Day shirts to raise money for a wildlife organization or whatever. So anyway, I wanted to celebrate, so I bought a shirt for 10 bucks and I go to my dorm and put it on.
I forg... | 4 | 52.75 | |
1394850460 | 1394887499 | t3_20gcaq | t5_2to41 | 46 | Ollegjertssen: TIFU by giving my friend a good ol' pat on the back.
So today when I got to school I walked to my locker like I'd normally do before class, I then see my friend just standing there with his back turned to me.
I decide to give him a pat on the back, this resulted in him dropping his phone, it was like e... | 3 | 15.333333 | |
1394855491 | 1394858019 | t3_20giba | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a picture to the wrong person
I was snapchatting a girl who was planning on sending me nudes. While we were talking, a friend sent me a snap of him making a gross face, and I decided to send him a picture of me doing the same thing. I took an exceptionally disgusting picture of my face, only ... | 3 | 1 | |
1394850158 | 1395046076 | t3_20gbwt | t5_2to41 | 239 | throwawayshamedgirl: TIFU by listening to erotic audio... [NSFW]
It's currently 2am here, and I couldn't sleep. I thought maybe I could tire myself out by having a little night time fun and so went to /r/audiogonewild
I have earphones in, and start listening to an audio clip containing very heavy oral sex sounds. I t... | 5 | 47.8 | |
1394848260 | 1394921433 | t3_20g9gd | t5_2to41 | 66 | Trysdyn: TIFU by plunging my hand into a box marked "Push Pins"
I'm in the office, having a normal day, and determine I need several push pins to hang a schematic on my wall. I skip out to the copy room, look in the supply cupboard, and find a little open-topped plastic box on the very top shelf labelled "Push Pins".
... | 3 | 22 | |
1394859212 | 1394863741 | t3_20gmom | t5_2to41 | 1 | Makeartandlove: TIFU by taking a walk
AUTISTIC_PENIS: Today you posted a complete bullshit story
Makeartandlove: No man, this is completely legit and 1000% happened!
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1394874748 | 1394877861 | t3_20gz63 | t5_2to41 | 189 | nobraincellsleft: TIFU by trying to reverse catheter synthetic urine into my bladder to pass a drug test. And then subsequently farting out of my dick (audibly).
AmyLeigh80: OMG! Holy shit! I'm laughing so fucking hard right now. Literally fucking tears dude. You write very well by the way. That was fucking hilar... | 10 | 18.9 | |
1394905079 | 1395105760 | t3_20hqh5 | t5_2to41 | 720 | Bonz1: TIFU by vacuuming up my weed.
I was cleaning my house today and I left the Hoover on with the hose by my feet whilst I moved some bits around on a shelf. I knocked my tin of pre-ground weed off and it split on the floor right in front of the hose.
Gone before I could react, mixed in with all the dust and crap fr... | 14 | 51.428571 | |
1394907398 | 1395368808 | t3_20htrv | t5_2to41 | 839 | endogenix: TIFU by getting liquid nicotine in my eye.
Last night when I filled my e-cig up I did not screw in the mouth piece all the way and as a result some liquid leaked passed the seal and into the mouth piece. When I woke up this morning I grabbed it to take a couple puffs. Well I was laying down and somehow while... | 11 | 76.272727 | |
1394905153 | 1395089867 | t3_20hqkf | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by running with my shoes
So i was online buying shoes for myself and I only wanted Osiris shoes. I ended up finding four shoes that i really liked, so i bought ALL FOUR! The price was 476 dollars. Did i mention there is a ice all around my house? A few days later all my shoes come at once. I gladly than... | 5 | 5 | |
1394912781 | 1395151420 | t3_20i1e8 | t5_2to41 | 27 | internet_friends: TIFU by not listening to my friend's Facebook conversation
So there's a TV show that's being filmed on my college's campus. It's from a major network. We could apply to be paid extras, so my best friend and I did. We're on spring break and we didn't hear back from the TV show, but we decided to go bac... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1394907367 | 1395671411 | t3_20htq4 | t5_2to41 | 52 | AdultSupervision: TIFU By accidentally getting my dog maced.
I Had some visitors over a few minutes ago. My door has the bottom all fucked up, so when you close it, you have to really slam it, or it won't close all the way. When they left, I didn't close the door properly, and as I went back to my room, it fully opened... | 10 | 5.2 | |
1394915189 | 1395451293 | t3_20i4qe | t5_2to41 | 56 | cum_smearer: TIFU by smearing cum all over my face
I live in an apartment with my SO and she had to skip town for a couple of days and it left me with double the chores to look after. Today, in particular was one of those days when you just wanna say "Fuck this shit" and go lie on your bed. It was a hard day but it was... | 6 | 9.333333 | |
1394920376 | 1394929917 | t3_20ibto | t5_2to41 | 16 | Tote_Sport: TIFU by not washing my hands
Technically it was yesterday, but whatever.
I was getting ready to go to football (Gaelic) training and was still carrying a slight knock/niggle to my hamstring that was bothering me. No problem, I thought. A combination of Deep heat and Tiger Balm rub would sort out that pesky... | 4 | 4 | |
1394937316 | 1395181785 | t3_20ixhk | t5_2to41 | 52 | Spliteer: TIFU by Texting my Boss from the ER
I suffer from frequent kidney stones, some specialists want to call it "Kidney Stone Disease" because diet, weight loss, exercise, medication, or anything really hasn't decreased the frequency. I get lucky sometimes and an 800 MG Ibuprofen and those pills that make your pis... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1394939546 | 1394940715 | t3_20j08c | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting on the sidewalk
I had plans to go out with a girl I know in high school, we had hung out once before but we are both in a new city so I thought I could make a friend. I was going to meet at her house at 8:30 I so I ate a bit and was out the door by 8. I got onto the freeway, maybe 7 minutes ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1394962092 | 1395205708 | t3_20jjfo | t5_2to41 | 97 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidently firing my dads handgun.
So im 16 but im for the most part gun safe but today i was feelin a lil cocky.
So be me at home watchin tv bored as all hell so i decided to break down my dads 9mm as if i were to clean it and ive done this a few times throughout my tv watching.
As i go to time my... | 15 | 6.466667 | |
1394976235 | 1395005726 | t3_20jsdg | t5_2to41 | 18 | muchape: TIFU By getting dressed in my office and hitting the fan light and smashing it in to a million pieces in bear feet.
[deleted]: [All I could think about with this spelling mistake.](http://ppcdn.500px.org/39679192/a3228e5905266e6d1b81d82d78765cd0dd5b5a88/2048.jpg)
*bare
[deleted]: Same here, all I'm seeing no... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1394979007 | 1395023477 | t3_20jusx | t5_2to41 | 2,037 | dradonitch4383: TIFU by leaving vacation early.
So I'm on a school concert competition at Disney, but I have to leave early for a family vacation. So this morning I wake up early and go to where the cab service was meant to pick me. They weren't there. That should have been my first clue. But me being the dumbass I am ... | 10 | 203.7 | |
1394984628 | 1395146257 | t3_20k0vi | t5_2to41 | 26 | Fuck1_Marry1_Kill1: TIFU by throwing an iron at a spider
I was about to iron a shirt I'm bringing with me on a trip when I saw this huge daddy long legs (ugh, I'm cringing so hard right now) hovering by the ironing board. Not wanting to touch the damn thing, I grabbed a bottle of Resolve Stain Remover and squirted that... | 7 | 3.714286 | |
1394995223 | 1395501637 | t3_20kfqe | t5_2to41 | 23 | IronSlayer: TIFU by getting really enthusiastic about a blowjob.
You can probably see where this is going...
I [F] went on a first date last night with a really awesome guy - smart, funny, charming, gorgeous, the works. We went to a bar then back to his place to watch a movie.
Eventually things moved to his bedroom... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1394995199 | 1395028727 | t3_20kfpf | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling the truth to my son
My now adult son has always blamed me for divorcing his father. I finally told him the truth (after seeking advice and debating it for 5 + yrs) - his fathers sexual identity was not 100% herto. He doesn't believe me and cut me out of his life. I should have just lived w... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1394998608 | 1395030779 | t3_20kkxa | t5_2to41 | 23 | icaruss77: TIFU by letting in friends
Three months ago i moved out of my house because i have OCD. I now live with a different family. So yesterday they went on a vacation with each other and now i have the house for myself for the week. When i was grocery shopping yesterday suddently i saw a few of my old friends that... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1394999845 | 1395005090 | t3_20kmwt | t5_2to41 | 9 | RHaz44: TIFU by selling dogecoin.
So, after a few days planning, and finally shipping a pair of headphones to sell for some dogecoin, I needed to sell it (things to buy, you know). So I post an ad on the relevant subreddit and wait. Not too long later I get an offer in my inbox. Link to verification thread looks good, ... | 3 | 3 | |
1394996825 | 1395007286 | t3_20ki5h | t5_2to41 | 53 | oceanjunkie: tifu by snorting cayenne pepper.
My dad was making boiled shrimp and he bought a bag of various spices that you put in the boiling water. He showed it to me an I smelled it. It was extra spicy and went in my nose. It was a bit war, and then hot, but not that bad. I thought it might get worse, so I poured w... | 5 | 10.6 | |
1395000436 | 1395099536 | t3_20knt3 | t5_2to41 | 22 | JWard515: TIFU by going home to poop
So this is actually my friend's story, it happened to him a couple days ago. He told me the story, and I said he should post it here but he didn't want it on his account because he's got other identifying information there. So anyways, here goes!
Apartment life took an interesting... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1395005412 | 1395059937 | t3_20kvhc | t5_2to41 | 7 | cornholio90125: TIFU by deleting a secret folder
So about a month ago I bought an iPod touch from my friend. The screen was shattered almost completely and the home button didn't work at all. In an attempt to make some space, I deleted most of the apps I didn't use, including an app called My Folder. Since it was locke... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1394919328 | 1395086323 | t3_20iad1 | t5_2to41 | 10 | LCMufc96: TIFU by crashing my newish bicycle in front of a lot of people
this wasn't today but whatever.
so i was cycling home from school with my friend, i'd got my bike as a gift a couple of months ago from my parents. we normally go down this road past another school and a lot of people are normally walking past. it... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1395011949 | 1395036194 | t3_20l5f5 | t5_2to41 | 30 | sherwood_bosco: TIFU By thinking it was a good day for a bike ride.
Frankly it was, but now I'm 35 miles from my car, 50 miles from home, and burst both my tires. Time to start walking because the only person I could call for a ride is out of town.
melonfarmer123: Call a cab?
sherwood_bosco: I thought about it for long... | 5 | 6 | |
1395015205 | 1395053995 | t3_20labk | t5_2to41 | 64 | Thenightbatties: TIFU farting after sex.
My boyfriend and I were having some after sex cuddles when he decided he needed to go home. I was lying down naked and he was sitting on my hips,so wanting to wrestle a little before I left I brought my knees up aNd then wrapped my legs around the front of his torso.
My boyfrien... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1395016807 | 1395025227 | t3_20lcqf | t5_2to41 | 67 | Lkalcik: TIFU by taking a shit at the boyfriends
So I hate doing the number 2 at anywhere but home. I was driving to the boyfriends house and the urge was unbearable. So I get to his house and the roommate is there. I'm thinking to myself "oh shit". I go into the bathroom trying everything in my power to hold it in. An... | 7 | 9.571429 | |
1395019085 | 1395085701 | t3_20lg4g | t5_2to41 | 2,912 | [deleted]: TIFU by listening to reddit
I was out really late last night. I woke up today hungover at about 12pm. I usually need to stay in bed for a while and let my brain heal from the damage I did to it the night before, but I really had to make it to Grandma's by 1PM for Sunday dinner. I just suck it up and roll out... | 16 | 182 | |
1395019920 | 1397627585 | t3_20lhb3 | t5_2to41 | 49 | mjbergs: TIFU by believing a house rental scam.
My mom and I have been wanting to move out of our current house and situation for a long time because it's extremely damaging, but my family has always been extremely poor. She was approved for federal disability recently due to severe rheumatoid arthritis in her wrists (... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1395028009 | 1395277228 | t3_20lshk | t5_2to41 | 41 | kevanos: TIFU by getting jelly fish on my penis
I'm swimming in Miami and I feel a sharp sting on my thumb. Fuck. Jelly fish. It's only an inch long but I can see my skin bubling like a bad burn so I figure I have to pee on it. Right on the beach, I shove my hand down my trunks and pee. No relief. I look back at my th... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1395028939 | 1395147694 | t3_20lto0 | t5_2to41 | 23 | Emminora: TIFU by eating 3/4 of a can of beans with rice for lunch and Mexican for supper.
Now I'm hoping not to gas my cats in my sleep, and I'm praying my SO doesn't come to bed early. My innards sound like a thunderstorm and feel like an earthquake...
At least it's not Haribo induced..
pooplicker99: Whats so bad ab... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1395028922 | 1395133858 | t3_20ltmw | t5_2to41 | 166 | sonorousAssailant: ELIF: Why do we have a 'dominant' hand and foot?
Thunder21: Wrong sub brochacho.
AndroidImpact: Hablas espanol?
| 3 | 55.333333 | |
1395029892 | 1395101428 | t3_20luu5 | t5_2to41 | 185 | orangesplorange: TIFU by shooting my boyfriend in the eye with his own semen
So earlier today my boyfriend and I were fooling around a little at my house, taking advantage of some rare alone time while my family was gone. I began giving him a handjob. For whatever reason, he hasn't cum the last few times I've done this... | 7 | 26.428571 | |
1395035300 | 1395088420 | t3_20m0pb | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling out my cat's name in bed.
The other night, I was having some pretty fantastic sex. Short daydreams kept distracting me since I was under the influence of a certain fun little substance. I was getting really into the sex, then images of my cat started invading my brain. I really love my kitty,... | 3 | 15 | |
1395038250 | 1395173254 | t3_20m39y | t5_2to41 | 42 | pantherdude777: TIFU by asking the wrong girl to prom.
I asked, for privacy sake, M, to prom. I got her flowers and one of those huge cookie cakes. Her friend, A, told me to ask her because she wouldn't of been asked otherwise. So I ask M to prom, she said yes of course, and she posts the picture on twitter. Meanwhile,... | 3 | 14 | |
1395064591 | 1395237490 | t3_20mn19 | t5_2to41 | 68 | zaahnjanson: TIFU by pissing all over the back of my pants.
So yeah, I'm 6'3" 225 LB's and I normally use the large handicapped stalls in public restrooms, as normal sized ones are too cramped. I went into the bathroom to do the morning deed, and was forced to use the smaller stall as the large one was occupied. I sat... | 6 | 11.333333 | |
1395079405 | 1395316534 | t3_20n9xn | t5_2to41 | 83 | irstupid22: TIFU By Accidentally Sending My Boss An Email About A Job Interview Instead Of My Dad
I have to get back to a recruiter today about a potential job interview. I wanted my dads advice, because he is an engineer also. I wrote up a quick email, hit D in the "To:" box, thought I clicked on David ____(my dad),... | 5 | 16.6 | |
1395078169 | 1395278129 | t3_20n7vj | t5_2to41 | 11 | myncii: TIFU by dropping my phone in my drink whilst having sex
So me and my boyfriend were at home, nothing much to do, so decided to have a little hanky panky. We'd just finished having a bit of foreplay where I was rather enjoying myself and when we started properly going for it I obviously got a tad too excited and... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1395086918 | 1395286229 | t3_20nn06 | t5_2to41 | 251 | vidarino: TIFU by trying to be romantic with my wife
A few days ago, in a fit of spontaneous romanticism I decided to leave a small note saying "I love you!" in my wife's eyeglass case. I didn't get an immediate response, but since she doesn't wear her glasses that often I thought nothing of it.
On saturday, however, ... | 4 | 62.75 | |
1395086440 | 1395110463 | t3_20nm6g | t5_2to41 | 205 | Apokilipse: TIFU by mowing the lawn
In high school I used to make some extra money by cutting grass in my neighborhood. One of my regular clients, Mr. Lucas, had asked me to take care of his lawn while he was out of town, so I filled up my mower with gas and rolled it down the street to his house.
After yanking on th... | 7 | 29.285714 | |
1395088022 | 1395167952 | t3_20nozt | t5_2to41 | 3,055 | [deleted]: TIFU I let a woman die.. not sure what to do
Ok, this is my throw away. So didnt happen today but over a course of a week but it was closed today.
I work for a law enforcement agency (unamed) as D/S.
In Law enforcement you quickly become jaded seeing only the worse in people even though you would like to se... | 14 | 218.214286 | |
1395089751 | 1395101058 | t3_20ns2q | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting on the couch
The last year, I've been struggling with IBS, but doing fairly well with it. No accidental pants dookies, or anything like that at all. A few close calls, but always able to make it to the bathroom.
Today, I went home from work early because I was super tired. I've been layi... | 5 | 7 | |
1395102015 | 1395116014 | t3_20ocsy | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by riding a bike down a hill in 100 degree weather.
When I was little I always wanted to go outside and play like almost every other child. Except this day it was way hotter than usual. At the time I was living in Georgia and during the summer it was easily 100 - 102 degrees I was with my mom at her fri... | 3 | 1 | |
1395116777 | 1395172897 | t3_20ozx8 | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying an at home constipation remedy
I'm visiting my parents for a week to help my sister get set up for college. Tonight I had to take a shit really bad and sat on the toilet for hours and nothing.
So as to not embarrass myself I decided to try an at home remedy for constipation which was putting ... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1395108899 | 1395123783 | t3_20oo24 | t5_2to41 | 61 | MBS_theBau5: TIFU and now my professor calls me "Drew P. Wiener."
For my police administration class, we had to write a response to a complaint letter that out "department" received. Our class was broken up into multiple groups, and that is our department.
We also had to write a complaint letter to another department... | 3 | 20.333333 | |
1395119596 | 1395124885 | t3_20p3cc | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking my 17 year old brother is responsible enough to pick me up. I am now sitting in a gas station waiting for my parents to come get me.
Throwaway b/c im a dumbass and im only posting my dumbassery since i promised the kind lady an update.
I arrived home today after spending the last year abroa... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1395091640 | 1395282601 | t3_20nvdq | t5_2to41 | 83 | fartberg: TIFU by answering a facetime call from my grandmother
I was laying in bed yesterday masturbating to porn on my iphone when my grandmother called me via facetime. In a hurry to hit the decline button, I actually hit the answer button and grandma got a quick look at my pre- "o" face. I quickly hung up, but she ... | 6 | 13.833333 | |
1395125984 | 1395288686 | t3_20p9qy | t5_2to41 | 267 | [deleted]: TIFU by becoming "that girl" at the club.
This was actually late last night (or really early this morning). I'm a stripper, and I'm friends with a few of the other dancers. Now, as far as strippers go, I'm very innocent, which means I'm just about average in the normal population. The hardest drug I've ever ... | 8 | 33.375 | |
1395144992 | 1395272018 | t3_20pnvu | t5_2to41 | 46 | DudeManBr0: TIFU by eating an entire container of Harissa
TL;DR-Stupidly ate an entire container of Tunisian chili pepper paste called "Harissa." Cue scorched Earth, F.K.A. my anus
This actually happened last night but I hadn't felt the consequences of my actions until this morning so really its LNIFU. I am at the g... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1395147325 | 1395176772 | t3_20pq7x | t5_2to41 | 292 | The_Ultimate_Bro: TIFU bad by manscaping.
So this morning before I went to school after my shower I decided it was a good time to clean up down low. So I decided might as well just shave instead of trim this time, and this is the first time I've completely shaved instead of trim. So I've noticed for the past few years ... | 4 | 73 | |
1395153929 | 1395188220 | t3_20pyq9 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU I ate Rolaids as breathe mints
For the past little while, I've been eating Rolaids as breathe mints even though it's an antacid. I haven't been feeling weird or anything but man, I feel stupid.
aldekeyser: sorry for endorsing my own subreddit but this would be good for r/TISLIFUBIAO (today it seemed lik... | 3 | 3 | |
1395152114 | 1395252521 | t3_20pw0k | t5_2to41 | 582 | bwebb0017: TIFU by using some kind of peroxide as eyedrops
Embarrassing confession, but this is hilarious, so I can't help it. A week or two ago I finally got back into contact lenses. I bought a bottle of re-wetting drops, since it had been a while since my eyes were in contacts, and they weren't used to them. I used ... | 10 | 58.2 | |
1395168732 | 1395181635 | t3_20qmz5 | t5_2to41 | 147 | [deleted]: TIFU By not showing up for work
Today I fucked up... I live in a house in a foreign country together with four other guys. It was Sunday evening and some of the guys were having a beer and just chilling so I joined. Well to make a long story short it escalated and I spent the rest of the night hugging the po... | 7 | 21 | |
1395171466 | 1395189558 | t3_20qruc | t5_2to41 | 264 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my friend's tablet
Who keeps their tablet under their pillow anyway? Well, I found out that this guy I'm seeing does.
And I found out the hard way.
I sat down on the bed and applied too much pressure to the tablet I was blissfully unaware of. When he found out, he was livid, and kicked m... | 6 | 44 | |
1395183786 | 1395196813 | t3_20rehg | t5_2to41 | 80 | l3radrocks: TIFU By Selling My Pen To My Friend
Hey Reddit, I fucked up today, and it all starts with a pen. Not just any pen mind you, it was a fountain pen.
My friend had recently bought one, and had let me write with it. It flowed so smoothly and seamlessly that I just had to have one. So I went out and boug... | 7 | 11.428571 | |
1395192247 | 1395255974 | t3_20rsz8 | t5_2to41 | 1,218 | The_Anal_Intruder: TIFU by being an idiot and trust in strangers
I'm sorry if this is not the place for this, but I am so angry right now.
I live in a small EU country, and crime is not a big problem. People trust eachother usually around here.
Today, I was enjoying my day off with my new/old car. I finally got my ... | 15 | 81.2 | |
1395189231 | 1395256907 | t3_20rntv | t5_2to41 | 87 | tifutrain: TIFU when I drove onto train tracks
<throwaway>
Leaving my hotel room in middle of nowhere Indiana at 4 AM to drive my rental car to Michigan to catch a flight to California. I was barely awake, and trusting my GPS more than I should have. The GPS took me on a new path through this town that I'd barel... | 6 | 14.5 | |
1395203170 | 1395245411 | t3_20rjxs | t5_2to41 | 11 | PurpleAmity: I haven't found it and I've looked everywhere it could possibly be. Based on the way they'be been acting toward me tonight I'm almost certain they took it. They haven't said anything about it yet which is really confusing, but they've been acting really... cold towards me all night. I guess I'll just have ... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1395203169 | 1395207125 | t3_20sa0f | t5_2to41 | 34 | Ragingwithinsanewolf: TIFU by falling asleep in class
Fell asleep in class with my pants unzipped. Woke up with my erection shooting out of my zipper. I had underwear on but it was obvious what was going on under my pillar of cloth. I sit in the front row so I'm pretty sure someone saw
alleypro: at least you didn't cum... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1395199012 | 1395315329 | t3_20s441 | t5_2to41 | 217 | munitedhooligan: TIFU by thinking there wasn't anyone inside
I work for a delivery company. Have the shitty shift where I take out all our morning freight. I usually get up at around 5 to make sure I'm all good for the day. (3 S's)
Well as yesterday was St. Paddy's, I kinda spent a little too much time not going to bed... | 5 | 43.4 | |
1395225466 | 1395346654 | t3_20su3m | t5_2to41 | 306 | holnrew: TIFU by attempting to trim my eyebrows.
You can probably guess how this went.
[Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/LtaZWmp.jpg?1)
AugustinexBoethius: go to /r/makeupaddiction. They will help you draw your eyebrow back on.
BrokenByReddit: Drawn-on eyebrows look really stupid. Even stupider than old one-brow here.
Augus... | 10 | 30.6 | |
1395233866 | 1395262590 | t3_20t290 | t5_2to41 | 66 | CeltiCfr0st: TIFU by trusting a fart before even waking up.
So there I am. Just enjoying a nice sleep before I have to wake up and go to class. I remember dreaming about something and knowing that right then my physical body had to play some anal acoustics. I thought, "ah, what the hell! I feel fine!" I did not feel fi... | 5 | 13.2 | |
1395243644 | 1395314746 | t3_20th1t | t5_2to41 | 2,140 | ragingsuppository: TIFU by wearing khakis to school
I woke up today and decided to wear shorts since it was a fresh day and didn't feel like wearing jeans. The only shorts I had were khakis so I just put them on and went to school. When I got there I had to go take a piss so go to the urinal to relieve myself. When I f... | 11 | 194.545455 | |
1395246385 | 1395261456 | t3_20tlwm | t5_2to41 | 124 | glitchx: TIFU by burning the crap out of my fingers like an idiot.
This happened last night after I made dinner. I was making mashed potatoes on the stove (electric), nothing difficult. I had just turned off the burner and taken the pot off the heat to stir it. In the process of doing this, I spilled a bit of liquid on... | 5 | 24.8 | |
1395248606 | 1395284879 | t3_20tq3v | t5_2to41 | 42 | FUextraordinaire: TIFU by sleeping with a coworker at a job I started a week ago
I just moved into a big city and got a job at a bar. I really like this bar. I really like working there and I really like hanging out there when I'm not working. A friend who also works there got me the job. One of the waitresses and I we... | 10 | 4.2 | |
1395272682 | 1395336141 | t3_20uw9i | t5_2to41 | 273 | RedHair-DontFuck: Tifu, I kissed my mom in my sleep.
So here is the back story to that. I went with my mom on a business trip to Texas because I was on spring break. While in Texas I saw I guy I haven't seen in about 4 years and we ended up still having an major spark between us, and ended up sharing the best make-out ... | 11 | 24.818182 | |
1395270988 | 1395423549 | t3_20uthz | t5_2to41 | 25 | friedjumboshrimp: NSFW -TIFU by eating at Chipoltle while on a full stomach!
Today I had to travel away from the office for a business meeting, unfortunately I went with two other workers and I didn't drive. Knowing that it was going to be long day I got up early and my girlfriend made me French Toast, bacon and grits ... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1395282366 | 1395349942 | t3_20vb8d | t5_2to41 | 179 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing Stick of Truth in front of my grandparents.
So here's the story. We are driving from Arizona to North Dakota. Obviously a long trip. So I got my computer up and start playing the new south park stick of truth game in the car. And for those who haven't played it, it ain't for children. But I h... | 4 | 44.75 | |
1395285208 | 1395953579 | t3_20vfhm | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to get to class on my very first dose of Effexor.
So i've been dealing with anxiety for about 8 or 9 years now. i'm 21, and i've only tried meds once and that was when i was 16. it left me feeling drowzy all day, every day so i cut it out. being in college, there's a lot of things that set me ... | 6 | 6.166667 | |
1395293140 | 1396240763 | t3_20vq34 | t5_2to41 | 11 | chaosharmonic: TIFU by inviting the barkeep
Some background: A bar in my area hosts a game night every week, and I'd been going for the last year and a half. About 6 months ago, two things happened: my ex cheated on me, and the bar got rid of the usual bartender for that night (male) and started having one of their oth... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1395299007 | 1395398675 | t3_20vvrm | t5_2to41 | 271 | oftenlygetscatraped: TIFU by trying to get a new perspective.
Last night I was a bit bored and decided to take some pictures of my junk to see how it looked from another angle. at the time I thought it logical to use snapchat so I would not have to delete the pictures afterwards.
I was happy with the new perspective, ... | 7 | 38.714286 | |
1395304406 | 1395427037 | t3_20vzx0 | t5_2to41 | 475 | stupidshamelessUSA: TIFU by trimming my pubic hairs [NSFW]
Yes, Reddit. Today is the day I joined all of the others that have drawn blood whilst trimming their pubic hair.
It started out as a usual trimming session. I got the scissors and began to slowly cut the hairs, careful not to cut myself. (No, I do not have an... | 11 | 43.181818 | |
1395307470 | 1395346470 | t3_20w20v | t5_2to41 | 129 | kzamo123: TIFU by possibly showing my penis in church.
I was at church and I had to go to the bathroom. This being a big church and only 2 bathrooms, there's always a line to wait in. After I went in line and did the deed I walked back to my seat passing by all the kids. As I was halfway to my set a deacon stopped me a... | 6 | 21.5 | |
1395323389 | 1395370074 | t3_20whm9 | t5_2to41 | 82 | stupidfreshman: TIFU by headbutting a girl in the boob.
So I'm on my highschool water polo team and we start practice at 7 in the morning. Towards the end, one of my friends went under water and scared the crap out of me by grabbing my foot or something. I said to myself *alright I'll get him back* (like an idiot) and ... | 4 | 20.5 | |
1395290894 | 1395327852 | t3_20vnhl | t5_2to41 | 51 | RubixBoob: TIFU by not flushing the toilet.
So, first day back at work for a month in Africa. I nipped to the toilet for a number 2 and, deep in a jet lag fuelled haze, when i finish i get up and begin washing my hands without flushing the toilet. After about 5 seconds, i realise my gross mistake, only to turn around... | 3 | 17 | |
1395330648 | 1395348749 | t3_20wt95 | t5_2to41 | 166 | [deleted]: TIFU by Ruining an Old Man's Life
So, i work in IT, and was trying to help configure a man's old phone. I made a mistake somewhere along the way, and deleted 6 years worth of contacts. I feel like absolute shit, this is years of this mans social and possible academic life just gone. It may be possible to rec... | 6 | 27.666667 | |
1395342066 | 1395417726 | t3_20xdzx | t5_2to41 | 36 | smallthrowaway1: TIFU by watching True Detective
I torrented two episodes of True Detective a couple weeks ago and didn't think any more of it. But today we received a copyright infringement notice. This is the second one I've gotten. Normally this wouldn't be a big problem but my mom works from home and needs the inte... | 9 | 4 | |
1395340920 | 1395405993 | t3_20xbvd | t5_2to41 | 28 | rivermelodyidk: TIFU by cussing out my school counselor
So, I'm dealing with this college right now that's being a mofoing BITCH, and after sending in all of this paperwork TWICE because they didn't get it the first time, I get a letter today telling me that they still don't have it. Like what the fuck.
I'm understand... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1395338624 | 1395394050 | t3_20x7q6 | t5_2to41 | 52 | alzaabi93: TIFU by having shitty reception on my phone.
I was having a fight with my gf over the phone. I told her lets continue after my workout as i wasn't in the mood for it. She thens threatens that if i hang up, we're through. My phone decided that was the perfect time to lose reception. I tried calling her and me... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1395343248 | 1395372320 | t3_20xg33 | t5_2to41 | 449 | jonaskizl: TIFU by Assuming the Cashier was Incompitent
Long Story, but some life lessons involved:
I recently had items shipped to the Sears.
On Tuesday, I had 10 minutes to spare between commitments and stopped in.
When I arrived, nobody was at the register. Two women walked up and discussed who should help me. On... | 11 | 40.818182 | |
1395345720 | 1395508816 | t3_20xkh9 | t5_2to41 | 3,450 | abandcaIIedmetaIIica: TIFU by wiping my ass with hand sanitizer.
Reddit I fucked up. I was sitting in my office and I kept getting a faint smell of ass. It kept coming and going and it was bothering me. So I get up my chair and the smell multiplied by ten. My office was supper hot and my leather chair was making my ass... | 12 | 287.5 | |
1395350010 | 1395433446 | t3_20xscm | t5_2to41 | 131 | kjc5008: TIFU by sending 20,000 emails at work
Accidentally BCC 297 people to an email i sent out 35 times. Figured out what I was doing and tried to recall the email 35 times. Well recalling an email sends an email to everyone saying I am trying to recall the email. So i sent 70 emails to 297 people. Only about 40... | 5 | 26.2 | |
1395351048 | 1395363619 | t3_20xu6y | t5_2to41 | 105 | the-butthole-shower: TIFU by not locking the door. [NSFW]
I was getting ready for a shower this morning. I started by pulling my pants down, and immediately heard the door open behind me, followed by my big brother saying "Oh!" and scurrying away.
We didn't say anything to each other this morning. It was really awkwar... | 5 | 21 | |
1395354708 | 1395374835 | t3_20y0md | t5_2to41 | 16 | The_Red_Road: TIFU by confronting my brother
My brother and I have been at odds for a while now. He's been kicked out of college three times, and each time he's back home begging for forgiveness from mom and dad. He's usually arrogant and rude, but I loved him anyway, seeing as how he's my brother.
This time has been ... | 4 | 4 | |
1395357324 | 1395398316 | t3_20y53c | t5_2to41 | 39 | shanticas: TIFU by bringing my snack to my friends house
Alright so today was a seemingly normal Thursday. Hanging out at Uni with a friend of mine and she mentions how I still have her Hunger Games book, so I decide meh I'll return it today since I'm not going to finish reading it anytime soon (TBH: Didn't enjoy the s... | 6 | 6.5 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.