start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1396453645 | 1396534457 | t3_220r6g | t5_2to41 | 741 | bkielbaszewski: TIFU by playing with one-handed priest's rubber hand and robbing a nun.
It happend about two years ago, but I think this is the place for this story. Me and my friends were drinking at polish "Przystanek Woodstock" music festival. The festival has special sections for different organizations (like catho... | 15 | 49.4 | |
1396471612 | 1396489969 | t3_221lv7 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by not disposing of my rubbish
So I recently took delivery of several items which one would deem NSFW; think along the lines of the leading brand in male masturbators (you get the idea). So anyways, they were delivered in discreet packaging. Fantastic. Great. I take the packaging and recycle all relevan... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1396469612 | 1396568741 | t3_221idu | t5_2to41 | 131 | Jomajorsh: TIFU by buying liquid candy
This happened while I was still with my ex, and to avoid trouble, I didn't post it, but now I can. And for those who don't know what liquid candy is, it's [this](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=33751419).
So my ex and I went to the mall for some... | 10 | 13.1 | |
1396473096 | 1396479890 | t3_221ohg | t5_2to41 | 21 | LadyGrizabella: TIFU by having a fight with a garbage bag full of chili and chicken Alfredo
I work in a kitchen as a prep person and server. One of the items on yesterday's menu was chicken Alfredo which didn't get all used up and I ended up tossing it out today. On today's menu were chili dogs and (per boss's orders) ... | 3 | 7 | |
1396484088 | 1396534494 | t3_2226g1 | t5_2to41 | 2,641 | [deleted]: TIFU by ordering a fleshlight
About sometime last week, I decided to order myself a inanimate object to fuck because lonely as fuck and was celebrating turning 18. I couldn't order one with my card because my dad gives me gas money by putting it on my debit card all while checking my purchases history. So I ... | 14 | 188.642857 | |
1396485057 | 1396575870 | t3_2227ze | t5_2to41 | 14 | the-R-word: tifu and used the "R-Word"
A guy I knew from High School (I'm in my early 30's to give some context) was doing some work at my house. He offered to let me borrow a piece of equipment to finish the job so I went to his house to pick it up.
We were reminiscing about some kids we played sports with and I refe... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1396492617 | 1396517013 | t3_222jqa | t5_2to41 | 23 | Ian1732: TIFU by forgetting my best friend's birthday.
So I had an entire thing planned, where I'd give her this card that I made. It's a "sorry for your loss" card from Hallmark, but I scratched out all the mourning themed words and replaced with birthday themed words. I thought it was pretty funny. So I've been plann... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1396486973 | 1396555901 | t3_222aw4 | t5_2to41 | 107 | younggun907: TIFU by answering my door with morning wood.
I had just awakened. Soon after, I heard a knock at the door.
Being groggy I didn't think anything of looking at myself before going to the door.
The neighborhood police officer's wife was the victim of my full erection.
I opened the door and her eyes were... | 5 | 21.4 | |
1396494388 | 1396592487 | t3_222mb8 | t5_2to41 | 29 | fnasbin: TIFU My sibling saw me pants down shit out
I'm browsing the inter webs when the sudden urge to use the pooper arises, so I hop onto the porcelain throne and start browsing reddit on my the toilet. I finish reading a post and decide my reign is over and it's time to wipe. No. Toilet. Paper. I think, it's OK,... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1396499867 | 1396503130 | t3_222tnt | t5_2to41 | 39 | asdfqwertyqwerty: TIFU by calling the cops on my friend
I'll keep this succinct.
I've known this individual for a while and am aware that they have a history of depression and self-harm. I've been receiving strange text messages from them off and on that indicate to me they are having ups and downs in their mood relat... | 3 | 13 | |
1396522475 | 1396583472 | t3_223dgc | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by clogging the toilet.
Last night was a boozy one. Many bevs were had to celebrate the return of my friends from Uni. In a rush this morning so I didn't have time to curl out my usual post-drinking booze shit.
After clenching my cheeks throughout a 20 minute bus journey and a 6 flight stair climb to m... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1396532279 | 1396559382 | t3_223ni6 | t5_2to41 | 106 | damagedproperty: TIFU by trying to clean.
Throwaway, because I don't want this linked to me.
I work at a pool. I have for years. Lately, we've had a bunch of algae growing all over the deck (the concrete area surrounding the pool). I wanted to get rid of it, haven't done that before, and scrubbing didn't seem to work ... | 4 | 26.5 | |
1396484546 | 1396554426 | t3_22276o | t5_2to41 | 13 | No_Fruit_Juice: TIFU by calling a girl by her roommate's name.
I had been flirting with one girl (we will call her M1) for awhile now and it got to the point where she wanted to go out and date but I said I did not want to date at the time, fine she continues to flirt and I admit I lead her on to a certain point.
... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1396540932 | 1396575997 | t3_22414z | t5_2to41 | 1,047 | thedeepdarksecrets: TIFU by having my dick maimed by a back massager
This is my first post to reddit so I hope you will all forgive me if the events I’m about to recall did not technically occur today. That being said; let us begin.
Growing up my family had a handheld back massager, basically a handle with two vibrati... | 11 | 95.181818 | |
1396545284 | 1396797336 | t3_2248nh | t5_2to41 | 290 | Imadoctah: TIFU by playing strip poker in the patio section of a grocery store at 3am
So in all actuality this happened a few years back, but I wanted to share.
It was a summer night, still in high school at the time, no job, no reason not to spend the we hours of the morning being a moron. There were 9 of us, and we... | 6 | 48.333333 | |
1396548646 | 1396682120 | t3_224edl | t5_2to41 | 64 | random_access_cache: TIFU by accidentally constipating myself before a two day trip in the desert
This is the story of how I managed to clog up my stomach.
Yesterday I went on a two-day school field trip. A day before that I went to get a Schniztel (a shcniztel in a baget, not just a schnitzel). Anyways, my mom told ... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1396554531 | 1406658936 | t3_224ol6 | t5_2to41 | 481 | DeadlyBreakdown: TIFU by participating in a phone interview while shitting.
I'm not very good at making a story interesting so I'll just tell you all wtf happened. A week ago I got a call for my dream job. This phone call simply set up a phone interview for today at 3pm. I knew this and was waiting, making sure i had a... | 7 | 68.714286 | |
1396557706 | 1396583980 | t3_224u99 | t5_2to41 | 44 | corpsefire: TIFU by putting the wrong number on my job applications, every single one.
**tl;dr** needed a job or I'd need to move out, filled out applications at every place currently hiring, got the last digit wrong on phone number for every application, potentially retarded and/or homeless.
---
Today I managed a fa... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1396570845 | 1396658392 | t3_225fet | t5_2to41 | 75 | colincush: TIFU by eating food from a third world street vendor
I was drunk as fuck and this guy was selling hot dogs from a street cart. In my stupor they looked like a gourmet meal. I just had to have one.
A day later, I pooped a worm. Not a dead worm, not a tape worm. A FUCKING LIVE WORM...IN MY SHIT
I'm terrified... | 6 | 12.5 | |
1396579846 | 1396613201 | t3_225sis | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by being drunk
Champagne room. $1000.
AwkwardTalk: Get a handy at least?
ando710: Yes... so there's that.
AwkwardTalk: I've gotten more for less. Wait until before they close then just hit the girls up. Sorry about your lose, bro. :(
ando710: Im chalking it up to part of the experience... won about t... | 5 | 0.6 | |
1396590759 | 1396591658 | t3_2265s2 | t5_2to41 | 64 | Shrtbuspdx: TIFU by breaking the wall while shaving my legs.
Let me start this out by saying I'm a small girl. I weigh maybe 135lbs and tower over the smallest of folks at an epic 5'3. That being said...my weight made the wall come crashing down.
I've lived in my house for a bit. Every few weeks I shave my legs in th... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1396598790 | 1396649483 | t3_226cmk | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: Tifu by getting high and pooping.
So I got baked around seven, had a sandwich at 8, went to take a shit at 12, got up, flushed, put my pants all the way back on. At this point, being as baked as I am, vividly hallucinating at the mirror, I couldn't for the life of me remember if I had shit yet. In my inebria... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1396618542 | 1396650229 | t3_226tn5 | t5_2to41 | 768 | Jdim10: TIFU by thinking my closet was my bathroom
So last night I'm having a ball of a time doing shot of vodka with my friends and end up going to bed shot faced. I wake up in the middle of the night having to piss like a waterfall. Well my closet is located to the right of my bathroom and in my drunken stupor I jump... | 8 | 96 | |
1396618233 | 1396627598 | t3_226t8u | t5_2to41 | 57 | VoicesDontStop: Today My Brother Fucked Up
toothworm: Oh no.. Do you know what your brother's reasoning behind that was? D:
VoicesDontStop: He thought that I helped my mom pick out the bag, it was a plastic bag, she got it because he loves cats.
toothworm: Oh D: well I hope you get your trip :)
VoicesDontStop: I'm not... | 9 | 6.333333 | |
1396622346 | 1396973493 | t3_226yx6 | t5_2to41 | 13 | ShowersUp: TIFU by using really soft toilet paper
Some back story real quick:
I fell asleep at around 3 or 4 yesterday and woke up at 9. I took an amazing six hour nap. I had matzo-ball soup with chicken. I didn't go back to sleep until 3 this morning.
So here's the real story; kinda short but I still feel on edge ab... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1396628303 | 1396960759 | t3_2278k8 | t5_2to41 | 24 | BiTcHsLaYeR16: TIFU by "Dutch Oven-ing" myself
So I have been sitting in bed for about am hour now, and I have been farting constantly, unaware of their horrendous odors under my blanket. I decided to get out of bed, removing my blanket, and by god, it was the worst thing I have smelled that I can remember. They were t... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1396638739 | 1396642609 | t3_227pqy | t5_2to41 | 33 | willgameforgold: TIFU by rubbing hot curry powder in my eye
Or rather, my girlfriend did.
The stage was set, the mince was cooking and a new pot of hot curry powder was opened. We did a quick dab with the tongue on finger to taste, by Jove it was hot.
A moment later she rubbed her eye, seconds past, the look of both ... | 3 | 11 | |
1396654070 | 1396736307 | t3_228dwt | t5_2to41 | 209 | Dylek: TIFU by hitting my girlfriend and then laughing at her
Now let me start off by saying I would never, under any circumstance, consciously hit her.
It's 7am in the morning and were both fast asleep. She's on my right side, and both of us are sleeping on our backs. I was having a crazy dream. I can't say I rememb... | 4 | 52.25 | |
1396657911 | 1396662612 | t3_228j57 | t5_2to41 | 44 | BGYeti: TIFU by making a "Your mom" joke.
So it is coming to the end of our work day when we get a truck in with product, as per usual procedure we offload the truck, count the merchandise and then send it down to the basement via a ramp to be put into inventory. One of our newer coworkers said he would go to the botto... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1396657346 | 1396889357 | t3_228if4 | t5_2to41 | 220 | DaAngla: TIFU by forgetting I had a multi-tool
Alright, so I haven't posted here before, so I'll try to keep it simple.
I got a multi-tool from my girlfriend as a gift.
I use it at work (I work retail and its extremely useful for opening boxes and doing general B.S. throughout my shift) well I brought it to school by a... | 9 | 24.444444 | |
1396660645 | 1396710749 | t3_228mmc | t5_2to41 | 1,230 | PDvaughn147: TIFU by taking my husband's advice
I was going to use a throwaway for this but eh.
So the past few days I've been pretty constipated. Ok, REALLY constipated. I had to leave early from work today because my stomach was so full and upset that I threw up my morning coffee. I have a doctor's appointment on T... | 18 | 68.333333 | |
1396660669 | 1396708466 | t3_228mnd | t5_2to41 | 22 | clubswithseals: tifu by slapping the wrong thing
So about 45 minutes ago I had a girl over, we were really baked and starting hooking up. As she's on top of me (cowgirl) she says "you know you can slap it" I kid you not guys: I slapped her pussy with my johnson. Immediately after, I realized what she meant and I burst ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1396672188 | 1396787580 | t3_2290ee | t5_2to41 | 17 | Buffalofeet: TIFU by basically yelling 'BIG BLACK DICK?!' at a kid and his mother while exitting an elevator.
My friend and I were leaving another buddy's apartment. We could hear family feud on tv from a neighbouring apartment as we were waiting for the elevator down. As we get in the elevator my friend starts talking... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1396667468 | 1396724767 | t3_228v1o | t5_2to41 | 27 | VRFireRetardant: TIFU and scratched my moms car, had the police called on me, probably jacked up my insurance rates and lost all of my parents trust.
So I'm a teenager and have been driving for about 2 months now and today I parked the minivan in a plaza the way I normally would. On my way out of the plaza I panicked a... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1396681288 | 1396712979 | t3_2298yj | t5_2to41 | 15 | Justdone101: throw me away.
Justdone101: I'm a piece of garbage and I fucked up today.
SpontaneousLightBulb: Everyone fucks up! That's why fucking up, can be kind of funny. Sure, it's embarrassing, but all you wanted to do was experience a little bit of life. That's clear enough. Keep up with your hopes and dreams, an... | 3 | 5 | |
1396674081 | 1396715213 | t3_2292df | t5_2to41 | 141 | condomballoon: TIFU By making a condom balloon
After everything was done and over with we were both laying on the floor. I decided to blow the used condom up and make it into a balloon (who doesn't do that :p) just like I have many times. This time was a bit different though. I put a little hole in the balloon so it co... | 6 | 23.5 | |
1396694490 | 1396770163 | t3_229hue | t5_2to41 | 533 | HaveASeatChrisHansen: TIFU by thinking my new roommate was gay.
So, I live in a 4 bed/1 bath apartment. We had to kick out a girl right before the end of March because she turned out to be a drug addict. (She's in inpatient rehab now so that worked out for the best). We scrambled to get a new roomie and were lucky enou... | 9 | 59.222222 | |
1396700381 | 1396912293 | t3_229lzy | t5_2to41 | 143 | tmama1: TIFU and broke my $600 tv
Playing Mortal Kombat 9 and I'd kept my patience throughout it all. It came down to the final match.
Raiden vs Shao Kahn. For 4 fucking hours. I finally lost my patience. For the first time in my life I threw my controller at the floor.
It bounced up and cracked my new smart tv...
... | 6 | 23.833333 | |
1396693001 | 1396902985 | t3_229gxr | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by not reading the ingredients
I recently purchased a load of Soda, which is one of the most versatile chemicals I know. I specifically purchased it to combat bad breath, which I had done before with store-bought Soda. Thus, I dipped my toothbrush into it. What I did not know is that apparently, Soda ca... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1396713582 | 1396736803 | t3_229zu2 | t5_2to41 | 76 | dirteanne: TIFU by cutting chicken (nsfl)
This happened yesterday. I work at a grocery store, and was helping out in the deli. They'd been extremely short handed lately so I was knocking out as much as I could to help out. I start working on cutting the 20lbs of chicken needed for the chicken salad. The knives are all ... | 5 | 15.2 | |
1396715653 | 1397746253 | t3_22a2o9 | t5_2to41 | 843 | The_Seldom_Seen_Kid: TIFU by maiming my dick with a box cutter
So I’m a college student with a retail job at a local grocery store. For convenience purposes, every employee here wears a store lanyard from which your locker key, badge and a box cutter are dangling. I had just been cutting up some cardboard boxes when my... | 12 | 70.25 | |
1396721492 | 1396815525 | t3_22aavx | t5_2to41 | 384 | [deleted]: TIFU - A tale from my high school years
EDIT- [LINK TO UPDATE](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/22kuyv/tifupdate_the_backseat_of_a_strangers_van/)
Although these events did not occur on this day, I was reminded of them today. I was a senior in high school, enjoying my final months of abusing my upper c... | 3 | 128 | |
1396725751 | 1397163766 | t3_22aguu | t5_2to41 | 438 | buttfever: TIFU by showing a stranger my penis
I've been subbed to TIFU for a while, and know that this isn't nearly as bad as some of the horrible things you people do, but it just happened to me, and I my first thought was of you.
It's a lazy Saturday, and after a stressful week at work, I decided to sleep in. I wa... | 6 | 73 | |
1396728773 | 1396842048 | t3_22al0w | t5_2to41 | 5 | goldxero: TIFU by locking myself out of my wireless network
So I'm over at my dads place and im using his internet. i notice that the internet is really slow because hes watching streams/movies/etc on it. so, scumbag me decided to log onto his router, which is not configured because he isnt tech savvy. I go and mac fil... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1396732316 | 1396736292 | t3_22apzi | t5_2to41 | 29 | Quencher_: TIFU By sleeping in class
I was dozing off in my college class. My teacher hates it when people sleep in her class, so she keeps asking me questions. After about 10 minutes in, she gets pissed that I'm still dozing off, teacher looks at me and says
"Mr. Quencher_ can you please pass arou... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1396730135 | 1396763363 | t3_22amxp | t5_2to41 | 34 | FireChickens: TIFU by accidentally cursing out a customer's mother.
I'm currently an auto- technician working for a fairly large company here on the east coast.
I was test driving a customer's car to hear a noise they were complaining about and I noticed that they left their cell phone in the car. As I'm driving, t... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1396736167 | 1396824472 | t3_22avf2 | t5_2to41 | 99 | Rain_Cat: TIFU by not standing up and clapping at a softball game.
I really hate softball, but I was persuaded by my friends to go. Well halfway through the game, I had my earphones in and on Reddit, and my friends kept trying to make me stand up, but I really did not want to because I was tired and I just thought our ... | 3 | 33 | |
1396747487 | 1396748996 | t3_22bae6 | t5_2to41 | 98 | nebbylittleprick: TIFU by ripping the tip of my penis and duck taping it shut
This event and this sub-reddit inspired me to finally make an account and make my first post... oh boy
Okay, I’m a junior in High School, so I’ve been masturbating for a long time now. As I think most people would agree, if you do the same o... | 4 | 24.5 | |
1396741725 | 1396895763 | t3_22b32c | t5_2to41 | 188 | Murican_Freedom1776: TIFU by going camping, returning home, having a huge meal and having sex [NSFL]
Today I got back from backpacking. I went backpacking for 3 days, all I ate was some pasta. It rained the whole time so starting a fire was out of the question. I ate dry noodles. So when I get home my girlfriend sugges... | 7 | 26.857143 | |
1396740281 | 1397005000 | t3_22b139 | t5_2to41 | 44 | dogfunky: TIFU by forgetting to BCC and revealed hundreds of email addresses
Yeah, this is another forgetting to BCC story. But this is for business, my small startup that I run with a friend.
Two months ago we hosted a few giveaways on reddit to promote our kickstarter. Asked people to fill out a form and after a few... | 7 | 6.285714 | |
1396782142 | 1396822130 | t3_22c5rz | t5_2to41 | 1,301 | lollygaggler: TIFU by farting in the parking garage, startling a young mother and child
In the parking lot, I "let one go". Obviously, I misjudged the audio value of that expulsion of gas, and since it was a parking garage where acoustics cause such utterances to resonate, I startled the poor the lady unloading her ch... | 12 | 108.416667 | |
1396789568 | 1396908831 | t3_22cbe6 | t5_2to41 | 256 | vikingnurse: TIFU by blaming farts on a patient
So, this happened when I was a nursing student working at the ICU along with my studies.
I was training an awful lot at that times (up to 8-9sessions/wk), and therefore eating a LOT of protein shakes, chicken, beans and such in order to maintain+gain some weight, resulti... | 6 | 42.666667 | |
1396810210 | 1396816101 | t3_22d1o0 | t5_2to41 | 11 | realizmbass: TIFU by almost killing my mother.
Recently, a lot of my friends have been having a giggle about shooting squirrels and rabbits in their backyards with bb guns. When I was around 10 or so, I had this bb gun but the magnet in the chamber broke, so I just put it under my bed until I figured I would fix it. ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1396823585 | 1396830288 | t3_22dm0q | t5_2to41 | 75 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sending this lovely piece of fanfiction to my friend's mom...
"Sonic plunged his manhood into Tail's rear crevice, and repeatedly started thrusting into his behind. Suddenly, a rocket ship flew out of Sonic's cock. The rocket flew into Tail's ass and blasted his internal organs apart. Wh... | 4 | 18.75 | |
1396819982 | 1396840630 | t3_22dgn8 | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling into the bathtub while taking a dump and breaking my laptop screen
BACKGROUND STORY: Well I'm strange, and when I go for a crap, I stand on the toilet seat and squat (Weird I know, but it's much easier for me as I have bad constipation a lot) And my laptop was resting on my sink while I was o... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1396829213 | 1396854243 | t3_22du2x | t5_2to41 | 1,285 | forrman17: TIFU by nearly sending a schoolbus into a ditch by farting.
Back in my middle school days I had a lot of digestive problems which later turned out to be Crohn's disease. During this particular month, my body decide to produce the most potently putrid farts imaginable that *lingered* for up to 5 minutes.
T... | 9 | 142.777778 | |
1396828468 | 1396838123 | t3_22dsz1 | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: Im sick. He's Indian.
MystreyRedditor: I don't get it. someone care to explain?
ferthur: If memory serves, the US government gave polio infected supplies to the Indians, as a way to reduce their population, way back in like the early or mid 1800s.
| 3 | 20.666667 | |
1396834982 | 1396941012 | t3_22e2cf | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with the girl of my dreams.
(TL;DR at bottom)
10* (Not 8. I'm 20, fuck math) years ago, I was in 5th grade, and spent my pre-school hours at a daycare. There was a girl there, Megan, that was a super bitch to me. However, 4 years later, I fell for her. Hard. But Megan had a boyfriend, so I ... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1396833140 | 1397229276 | t3_22dzrm | t5_2to41 | 57 | [deleted]: TIFU by fapping... too loudly
My mom never sleeps at night, it's not just insomnia, she's totally unpredictable - like a psychopath. Anyway, one night I tried to fap in peace, I was like "Eh, no one's up". Let the shame begin.
After a while, I kept hearing footsteps past my room door. "Abort mission!"
The... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1396838114 | 1396891928 | t3_22e70l | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming a hispanic didn't know english
So today I wanted directions so I asked a hispanic looking guy (in America) doesn't sound so bad does it? except the way I started to ask him: "Oi mate, Do you speak American?" I have no clue Why I assumed he didn't or why I called english american or even why ... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1396843391 | 1396938624 | t3_22eebg | t5_2to41 | 250 | obsceneonetwo: TIFU by pissing on the girl I've had a crush on all year
I have had a crush on this girl since the beginning of last semester and recently we started hanging out. Last night we went out drinking and dancing. We were with my friends, but it was the first time we went out *together*.
The night was going ... | 8 | 31.25 | |
1396876018 | 1396971991 | t3_22f7bf | t5_2to41 | 94 | iwillcallyoudude: TIFU by waking up sick and going to the office anyway
Woke up feeling like death this morning. Sneezing, coughing, chills, just overall misery. I was going to call in sick to work, but I am taking the second half of the week off already and have a rather important project in process that I really ne... | 11 | 8.545455 | |
1396886569 | 1396925699 | t3_22fmq3 | t5_2to41 | 721 | WhydoIhavetocheapout: TIFU by purchasing cheap clothes.
This happened a few years back, but I hope you'll appreciate it.
I pretty much live and die in [leggings](http://imgur.com/phTPLcD), but they're not the most endurant of clothes so I often have to replace them. To get good quality ones, it usually costs me aroun... | 8 | 90.125 | |
1396886267 | 1396902613 | t3_22fm7y | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by not clearing out my backpack
So yesterday I met up with a friend of mine. I ended up obtaining a few grams of cannabis to hold me over until the end of the school year. After coming back to my dorm, I set my backpack (with the bud in it) on my bedroom floor and go on with the rest of my day.
This m... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1396898416 | 1396961875 | t3_22g7be | t5_2to41 | 18 | articletosew: "TIFU"Told my friends new boyfriend that her soon to be ex is dangerous and for him to keep an eye out....
At a party the other night and it was the first time I met him. I know she is really happy and it was not my intention to get involved or harm this relationship. He asked and I was honest. I was d... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1396898112 | 1396909758 | t3_22g6rt | t5_2to41 | 75 | procrastination_plus: TIFU ... My friend thought I was interested in a white power band from the 70s.
There's a guy who does awesome remixes under the name RAC (Remix Artist Collective) and is finally releasing original music. He's got a concert in my area coming up, so I posted a link to the ticket sales and tagged a... | 3 | 25 | |
1396906035 | 1397161049 | t3_22gkqc | t5_2to41 | 36 | peanutismint: TIFU by accidentally making 'Miley Cyrus Face' at my job interviewers.
Went for a job interview at a pretty big tech firm. All the way there in the car I could feel this really painful sore or something on the side of my tongue. I didn’t know what it was or if it would be visible to others, so as I walked... | 4 | 9 | |
1396911381 | 1396945884 | t3_22gtoi | t5_2to41 | 1,079 | --Aja--: TIFU by turning on the windshield wipers to get rid of a spider but my window was open and the bastard flew in and hit me in the face
smallkidbigcity: I've done something similar except the spider was on the dash and i tried to flick him out the open window. The wind caught him and he flew straight back in an... | 8 | 134.875 | |
1396918022 | 1396929351 | t3_22h4mk | t5_2to41 | 75 | nearlyTIFU: TI(almost)FU - In response to the 'TIFU by showing my dick on Chatroulette' thread
So this is a one and done account, just thought some people might be interested in my story that was almost the same as /u/bagatell's. Never told this story to anyone before and hope I'm not violating community rules or anyth... | 3 | 25 | |
1396920490 | 1396971207 | t3_22h8n0 | t5_2to41 | 742 | DAt42: TIFU by borrowing an insult off of reddit.
Saw an AskReddit post the other day about the best insults and decided to try one out today.
*Me and my friends always have fake fights*
Friend: "What's the matter, can't think of anything to say?"
Me: "I just need some time to get my comeback off your mom's face."
... | 9 | 82.444444 | |
1396920790 | 1396975474 | t3_22h948 | t5_2to41 | 35 | prepareyourailerons: TIFU by indirectly calling my Professor a Stupid Whore.
I was sitting in my Comp II class (Writing II), and we were doing a group activity in order to refine the kind of causes that could lead to the phenomenon we chose for our research papers.
The subject of discussion at the time was one chick's... | 7 | 5 | |
1396919977 | 1396995179 | t3_22h7tl | t5_2to41 | 11 | k1rby33: TIFU by ruining any chances I ever had with my crush
Ok so this didn't happen today, but I still feel like I need to let it out.
I used to go to this school, and there was this girl called Megan (not her real name), and she used to have a hugeeeee crush on me; it was clear to everyone including me. Thing is ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1396927339 | 1396965830 | t3_22hji4 | t5_2to41 | 235 | [deleted]: TIFU by casually complaining to my father about my screaming vibrator
Today I was taking a shower in my parents' house. All was going well, my mind wandering, (as it often does while showering) when I suddenly find myself thinking about my boyfriend. More specifically, thinking about the, *ahem*, ridiculousl... | 3 | 78.333333 | |
1396930326 | 1396944991 | t3_22hnu6 | t5_2to41 | 81 | dr_victory: TIFU by accidentally huffing glue and having a near-death experience
Okay so it was like a month ago rather than today, but damn I can't think of a time I've done something dumber.
It's around one in the morning on a Monday, my roommate and I get a sudden burst of energy and decide we need to do put our in... | 3 | 27 | |
1396923743 | 1397137628 | t3_22hdx1 | t5_2to41 | 63 | chucklebuckle5: TIFU by shitting pants at school assembly
In the 9th grade my whole school was called to the gym for the school talent show. Now first I must point out that when i was little i hated to shit in public places, i always felt awkward shitting around other people. Now i have never shit at school before and ... | 6 | 10.5 | |
1396941882 | 1397054339 | t3_22hzt8 | t5_2to41 | 38 | Proteinsocks: TIFU by confronting my cumsock thief.
(I apologize for bad english, not my 1st language)
So, next to my bed, Inside my bedside drawer, is where I keep my precious socks. Yeah, those sort of socks.
I buy a pack of soft socks and use them just to come in and when they start to smell i throw them away.
T... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1396946915 | 1397007005 | t3_22i3qi | t5_2to41 | 87 | scraps120: TIFU by losing a fight with a cockroach.
A little backstory: I'm from and I live in South Africa in a small town surrounded by farms so bugs, snakes and creepy crawlies don't phase me that much. I just CANNOT handle being around cockroaches for some reason. It's the only irrational fear I have.
Okay so, la... | 6 | 14.5 | |
1396957713 | 1396983054 | t3_22ic1c | t5_2to41 | 134 | sickest_AUS_: TIFU by asking "would you rathers" with my mates
So it was the end of school and we were at the train station waiting for the train to come. On the bus going to the train station, me and three of my mates were trying to think of the worst "would you rather" questions that just make you cringe and shit. I ... | 7 | 19.142857 | |
1396933634 | 1397248945 | t3_22hrxd | t5_2to41 | 16 | Tad_Nugent: TIFU by washing a load of laundry with a fish oil capsule in the pocket
May I just start by stressing how extremely important it is to check all of your pockets before throwing your clothes in the wash?
TIFU by forgetting that very important step. I ran a load through the washer and dryer (shared, in my ap... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1396963167 | 1396986467 | t3_22ii0m | t5_2to41 | 371 | jumnhy: TIFU by chafing the skin off the head of my dick.
So I woke up this morning, feeling good, happy to have slightly-better-than-wintry temps outside. It was around 6:30, and I wanted to go for a good half hour run. I got up, threw on a tanktop and some synthetic athletic shorts, hopped into my shoes, and took off... | 9 | 41.222222 | |
1396947932 | 1396984017 | t3_22i4ge | t5_2to41 | 142 | Vika_Fett: TIFU by leaving my laptop on....
I had played a prank on my friend the other day and he decided to have his pay back.
I left my laptop turned on and left the dorm ( boarding school i study in) i came back an hour later and didn't use my laptop the whole night because i was tired and didn't find the need to u... | 6 | 23.666667 | |
1396969283 | 1397002148 | t3_22iqw3 | t5_2to41 | 369 | shatpantthrowaway: TIFU by spray-shitting down the side of my apartment building
So just let me precede this recollection of horrific events by saying that I hadn't eaten anything other than pita chips, red pepper hummus and cheap beer for the previous 48 hours leading up to this fiasco. I also, get the shits from eati... | 7 | 52.714286 | |
1396967071 | 1396984853 | t3_22inj4 | t5_2to41 | 35 | ilash44: TIFU by eating a pizza lunchable
I was starving last night after work. In a brilliant move i decided I'd have one of my daughters pizza lunchable. No less then 20 minutes later I'm on my porch watching Trailer Park Boys, while having a beer. Life is good right? Wrong. I start to feel a rumble in my stomach. So... | 5 | 7 | |
1396969115 | 1396996594 | t3_22iqlo | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by having confidence for once..
I have social anxiety problems the thought of meeting up with people I don't know is like hell for me, Ideas just rushing around about how I can fuck up and what can go wrong and the feeling of dread. So what I'm about to tell you is out of character for me.
I'm sitting... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1396973741 | 1397003670 | t3_22iygh | t5_2to41 | 6,097 | happygamerwife: TIFU by accidentally crushing a kid's prom hopes and dreams with my daughter...
So it's Senior Assassin week - you know the game, buy in for $5 and get a target, shoot them with a water gun somewhere not in their house or on school grounds and get assigned a new target, game ends when one person is left... | 14 | 435.5 | |
1396973500 | 1397063588 | t3_22iy0z | t5_2to41 | 91 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally turning on my stove while my suitcase was on top of it.
I live in a small apartment, and my washing machine is in my kitchen. There isn't a lot of extra space, so I tossed my suitcase on top of my stove while I unloaded its contents into the washing machine. A few minutes later, while si... | 4 | 22.75 | |
1396976725 | 1396986609 | t3_22j3gy | t5_2to41 | 64 | Rob_G: TIFU by trying to take a selfie with David Wright
I went to the diner last weekend and right as I was sat, I saw this guy that I went to high school with sitting a few booths down. The last thing I wanted to do was get into a fake “Hey, how’s it going, so good to see you, how’s life,” type of conversation, but I... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1396979644 | 1397016873 | t3_22j8lv | t5_2to41 | 37 | thetrishashow: TIFU by sneezing and ruining my underpants, then trying to get fancy when cleaning my butt.
I got my period yesterday morning (same old, same old every month). I usually wear pads just because I'm a virgin and it's what i've always worn since I was like 12. So I went about my business as usual yesterday.... | 6 | 6.166667 | |
1396985891 | 1396991311 | t3_22jjf3 | t5_2to41 | 23 | 6PoundsSoft: TIFU by not wearing a belt.
I work in a charity shop where it is my job to lug the heavy things around (wardrobes, chests of drawers and so on.) They tell you to wear things that you don't mid getting ripped/dirty because the job can get a little tough sometimes when we have to deal take things down large ... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1396994088 | 1397017015 | t3_22jxmu | t5_2to41 | 19 | party_in_my_pants: TIFU by unknowingly formatting 500GB drive containing 1,5y worth of working files
TIFU for the second time ( [this was the first](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13yqvj/tifu_by_accidentally_deleting_12gb_of_psdai/) ) , but this time it's about 500% more serious.
* Being a graphic designer and ... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1396996463 | 1397166137 | t3_22k1hs | t5_2to41 | 539 | fuckthisgayearth2: TIFU by paying $250 for a prostitute to take my virginity and now I have blue balls
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
**A little backstory:**
I'm a 25 year old virgin (can I still say I am...?). I'm not a super awkward lanky kid. I look like your typical 25 year old and am quite easy to talk with and ... | 5 | 107.8 | |
1396993391 | 1397009259 | t3_22jwfv | t5_2to41 | 13 | pancakeinvasion: TIFU by spilling nail polish remover on a chair belonging to a wood table worth over $1,000.
The worst part? It belongs to the family I nanny for who just replaced their old table for being all scuffed up.
:(
swordfishtrombonez: How bad is it?
pancakeinvasion: Pretty bad, it was just the chair seat, b... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1396996882 | 1397124157 | t3_22k25c | t5_2to41 | 47 | letsgrillsteak: TIFU by giving a criminal $100 at Walmart.
I fucking hate Walmart, but I knew they have a good selection of spray paint so I went there today to get some for a project of mine.
After I grabbed all my shit I headed for the register when a girl stopped me and started talking to me. She said she was doing... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1397012554 | 1397064656 | t3_22kr1h | t5_2to41 | 10 | 2_Headed_Cat: TIFU by leaving the gas stove on
I made dinner, and went to turn the stove off. Only I didn't, the nob wasn't all the way off. When I went back into the kitchen after eating, I immediately smelled gas, noticed the problem, and turned it off right away. I then opened as many windows as I could, turned the ... | 5 | 2 | |
1397015198 | 1397108125 | t3_22kuyv | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate - "The Backseat of a Stranger's Van"
[LINK TO ORIGINAL](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/22aavx/tifu_a_tale_from_my_high_school_years/)
I was asked to update when I got the story. Sorry for the wait. I dont have a scanner, so I retyped it all. Ignore any typos, I didn't take the time to proof... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1397014551 | 1397062245 | t3_22ktzk | t5_2to41 | 4 | uganda-roast: Failed Drug Test for Probation
dancingmrt: Yeah bro, you fucked up.
I faced a felony charge for mushroom possession (ca law) about 3years ago. since it was my first drug conviction, I qualified for PC 1000 program, which basically boiled down to about $700 in charges and classes, requiring 5 random test... | 4 | 1 | |
1397020208 | 1397078186 | t3_22l1jl | t5_2to41 | 19 | McDuffSmith: TIFU By Thinking a Girls Phone Was Taken by Her ex.
I've been creeping this subreddit for almost 3 months, but had nothing to post until now.
So, I fucked up.
I've known this girl for 3, going on 4 years now and I've always liked her and she knows it. We haven't talked that much in resent months (and eve... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1397026328 | 1397324846 | t3_22l7uu | t5_2to41 | 160 | insideme999: TIFU It is inside me.
Aka ecently i've been experimenting with putting items inside my manhood. The urethera to be more specific. Today, I decided, in all my triumphant glory to stick a piece of plant down there. My thoughts of "this will feel good," and "how kinky," were enough to dissipate any logic that... | 6 | 26.666667 | |
1397041769 | 1397083294 | t3_22ljxh | t5_2to41 | 2,716 | crankdant: TIFU by insulting my new trainer's wife
I recently moved to a new City - not too far away, but far enough that I needed to find a new place to train MMA. So I joined a commercial gym with a yearly contract as it's the only place with a martial arts team.
When I joined they gave me a few "free" personal trai... | 11 | 246.909091 | |
1397068521 | 1397071723 | t3_22mgmf | t5_2to41 | 10 | TheGraveSin: yes, got that going for me :p
pawlup: lie to me. just edit it in. i need my fix. just once. please? do it for me.
TheGraveSin: ....and then i shit myself, the smell adding to the tears that were already welled up in my eyes
| 3 | 3.333333 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.