start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1397654972 | 1397709651 | t3_236gnf | t5_2to41 | 1,556 | C3SR: TIFU By burning my wife's ass hole.
Not today but happen a few months ago. New to this sub so I thought this would be the appropriate place to share my story.
So after a while of doing the same ol' stuff with my wife I decided to surprise her by trying to fuck her in the ass. She was always open to the idea of ... | 12 | 129.666667 | |
1397658879 | 1397660274 | t3_236m43 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not suppressing my feelings
I am feeling those feels I pushed away (and there are alot of feels about a whole variety of things).
Today is going to be a long day.
fruitellla: Wanna talk about it?
Theoisme: Do you have a couple of hours :P
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1397657422 | 1397875682 | t3_236jxv | t5_2to41 | 78 | Not_Invited: TIFU and had a threesome behind a pub.
I was super beyond drunk and high and went down on some girl while she gave my friend a blow job. I was OUTSIDE of a PUB at about 4am. I'm pretty sure daylight was happening actually.
Oh God.
EDIT: Yup, I'm female.
tammerlian: The fuck up is you going down on some r... | 9 | 8.666667 | |
1397660657 | 1397725294 | t3_236os0 | t5_2to41 | 149 | bhefferman: TIFU by agreeing to insert a butt plug during sex
I will firstly admit this hasn't happened to me but my mate has just told me, so I therefore can’t think of a better place to let the world know of this tale.
On Saturday night after we had many drinks my mate (to protect his identity, let’s call him Tom) w... | 7 | 21.285714 | |
1397670936 | 1397749482 | t3_2375lg | t5_2to41 | 62 | mapcat: TIFU by sneeze-frying my laptop
So I've had my MacBook Air for about a year now and I can't really imagine life without it. It's just a gorgeous machine that never complains about the ludicrous amount of Netflix that I put it through.
I was casually just browsing in bed the other day when a sneeze caught me un... | 27 | 2.296296 | |
1397664772 | 1397672920 | t3_236v9m | t5_2to41 | 7 | AbominusWhite: TIFU by vomiting in a priest's foot
Hello guys! Actually this sh*t happened some years ago, maybe 8 (I was about 10 at that time), but perfectly fits in this sub.
I'm a christian guy, but I'm not. You understand it? I was baptized, and everything that christians do but I don't give a fuck about it. Yep,... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1397673723 | 1397694256 | t3_237abw | t5_2to41 | 12 | dizzykitty: TIFU by drunk texting my lesbian co-worker
This happened the other day. I was in a real shitty mood all day and was kind of being lame to my co-workers. After work I got really drunk and decided I should ask my co-worker out as a way of apologizing for my shitty behavior. My first attempt was not very well ... | 4 | 3 | |
1397680661 | 1397690711 | t3_237mdy | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by not knowing what I did and getting my heart broken :(
My girlfriend broke up with me two hours ago. We're in high school, she's a freshman, I'm a junior. We've been dating 3 months. Literally the hour before we broke up, we were talking and laughing about Prom. I told her I'd wear a Bowtie (she LOVES... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1397691997 | 1397750713 | t3_23854g | t5_2to41 | 12 | Tht1nick: TIFU by jumping out of a second story window at school. And ratting out my friend.
So today i woke up at around 6:40 and i only had 20 minutes before i had to go catch my bus for my long commute to school. I get to school like any other day and it starts out normal, first block auto mechanics (im in highschoo... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1397695427 | 1397832574 | t3_238ab9 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my wife's friend.
(Preface: she and her husband have a very open relationship; not with other people, but discussing sexual matters is no issue for them)
I texted her this morning after receiving a snapchat of "good morning". I texted her to see what she was doing.
STOP. GAME OVER.
...Shoul... | 5 | 3 | |
1397699687 | 1397852716 | t3_238gjz | t5_2to41 | 15,016 | Sproutedonthenumber9: TIFU after applying for over 30 jobs.
So I was happily sending away my resume online using various jobseeking websites. Not getting much in the way of response, until I received this one yesterday.
http://i.imgur.com/5kiOCX3.png
iluomo: So I'm missing something....what profile did you attach this... | 21 | 715.047619 | |
1397707614 | 1397859845 | t3_238s97 | t5_2to41 | 174 | Analvibe: TIFU and broke my girlfriend's vibrator while it was in my ass
My girl just left the house, so I decide that it would be a good time to pleasure myself. During this session, I get the wild idea to stick my girlfriend's vibrator up my butthole. It didn't really do anything for me so I tried moving it in and ou... | 6 | 29 | |
1397712496 | 1397722236 | t3_238xyu | t5_2to41 | 8 | eric22vhs: TIFU by backing up my iphone
I must've misunderstood something because the result is now I lost all data on my phone, including contacts, texts, notes, apps, everything. I completely blank phone now.
micerl: Is it the first time you have done a backup of the phone? If not, everything should be saved in your ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1397713915 | 1397889787 | t3_238zfu | t5_2to41 | 161 | lobersh: TIFU
If you have roaches don't pop a handful of sunflower seeds in your mouth
EVILEMU: fuck dude, My bag of seeds is right on the floor next to my desk. I'm elevating that shit.
jerrybob: Roaches can climb.
Cyridius: And fly.
Isak922: May as well just burn your house down and go live in the Space Station.
La... | 6 | 26.833333 | |
1397716754 | 1397779759 | t3_23920m | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by listening to all the bands I used to during high school...
So basically, a fair few years ago I was in high school. During this time I was a massive music fanatic. Loved basically every Genre (still do). I just wanted to collect all the music I could.
I was part of a music swap with a friend where ... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1397709722 | 1397738336 | t3_238uua | t5_2to41 | 24 | trianglecaremare: TIFU by passing out in the operating room
The truth: This actually happened one job ago, but I was too ashamed to admit it then.
The back story: I was working in labor and delivery and my job was to assist doctors when patients had to have surgery. What I failed to mention when I was hired was my sy... | 3 | 8 | |
1397722401 | 1397749410 | t3_2396dw | t5_2to41 | 23 | Nikolai_Blak: TIFU by deleting a folder dear to me.
I'm a neat freak so I'm always sorting out shit. Today I decided to finally organize my music library of 1,000+ songs all with terrible tags and shoddy album art. I ended up deleting pictures, moving around some and moving old pictures from my laptop to my new compute... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1397728020 | 1397813923 | t3_239a6x | t5_2to41 | 25 | pizzainsteadofblood: TIFU and lost a buttplug inside my girlfriend.
She panicked and ran to the bathroom to try and poop it out, it didn't work so she tried squatting on the floor and ended up pissing everywhere. She got it out, went back to bed and finished me off!
gg249: you were trying to cram the base in there too
... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1397724804 | 1398027364 | t3_23982d | t5_2to41 | 21 | martymar18: TIFU by not checking to see of the soda I had contains caffeine
I used to drink a lot of soda. Much of it was caffeinated. Since went off to college and became to cheap to actually buy soda from the dining hall or with a meal, I lost most of my caffeine tolerance. As such I try to be very careful about drin... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1397680081 | 1397744255 | t3_237lf9 | t5_2to41 | 24 | JedLeland: TIFU by trying to say hi to a friend
Not actually today, but back in college, about 21 years ago. I feel like I may have posted this before, maybe in a thread somewhere else, possibly while drunk.
I was a Sociology major before I switched to Psychology, which I ultimately got my degree in. My school didn't ... | 3 | 8 | |
1397696299 | 1397748191 | t3_238blc | t5_2to41 | 16 | whatisdelicious: TIFU by getting banned from FBLA
This happened like eight years ago (fuck I feel old) but I only just discovered this subreddit today. Spent a good hour so far at work reading and laughing instead of working. Figured I'd submit this one. It's certainly not as bad some of the other ones (just finished r... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1397742231 | 1397969294 | t3_239nfs | t5_2to41 | 35 | MaikHell: TIFU my career and personal by being caught loitering
First visit ever to the US, I was there on business to open an office. A visa was in process of being accepted. Walking the streets a girl hooks me up, say a price and I say, why not, got cuffed, mug shot, visa denied...you imagine the sand slide down to h... | 7 | 5 | |
1397743430 | 1397747532 | t3_239p43 | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking on the beach.
Disclaimer: Alright I lied, this happened four months ago.
So it was the morning of new years eve, I'd been staying at a beach house with my parents for a couple of days thanks to a family friend. From this house the beach was only about two minute walk, so like the previous tw... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1397750925 | 1397903294 | t3_23a10l | t5_2to41 | 57 | 14fuckupthrowaway: TIFU tricked into social oblivion by my room mate
This wasn't actually today, but when I was 13. But I wanted to share anyway.
When I was 13, I attended a really prestigious private Boarding School in England, so I lived in my boarding house with other guys. And most of the girls were pretty salty b... | 7 | 8.142857 | |
1397754397 | 1397776383 | t3_23a74q | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU: Complained about woman talk at work
Today, about 2 hours ago i complained that I did not need to hear two female employees talk in detail about feeling a baby go through the body during pregnancy and lactating, etc. Now all of the females in the office are bitter towards me and/or making stupid fucking... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1397755264 | 1397841497 | t3_23a8o6 | t5_2to41 | 11 | upads: TIFU Erotic prank back fired(NSFW)
Reading all the "fire bird" fuck ups have gave rise to an idea. Instead of waiting for my boyfriend wipe spice on his little bro, how about I give him a taste of TIFU and post a record of his reaction?
I hid a few chilli under my palm when I was about to give him the b. I stuf... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1397759603 | 1398003866 | t3_23ag70 | t5_2to41 | 79 | emilyann1874: TIFU and destroyed my boyfriends MacBook
On my boyfriends birthday, my 10 day period had finally slowed down enough so that we would be able to have sex (thank god). We had both been out drinking and things started getting pretty hot and heavy.
My legs were hanging off the side of my bed and he was stand... | 14 | 5.642857 | |
1397759278 | 1397976286 | t3_23afmg | t5_2to41 | 21 | NismoJase: TIFU by purchasing moustache wax online
And i can't even grow a moustache.
What is wrong with me?
Butt_Plug_Inspector: just think outside of the box. well-styled pubic hair just may be the next trend.
dralcax: Or perhaps in the box.
Butt_Plug_Inspector: heyoooo!
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1397695887 | 1398196248 | t3_238b08 | t5_2to41 | 32 | xkranda: TIFU by slicing an avocado
Full disclosure, this happened Sunday. So I'm a 36 year old woman, about to go out to see a Broadway show with my mom and sisters. Just before it's time to leave, I start preparing lunch for the rest of the family - simple - salad with avocado. I love me some avocado goodness. So I b... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1397750319 | 1397785617 | t3_23a01l | t5_2to41 | 98 | ittastedbad: TIFU by deciding to try using a pee bottle.
Hello.
So I've read stories on reddit before about people using pee bottles. Usually when someone is too lazy to get up and pee, they just use a bottle and do it at their desk/chair.
Last night i had had a few cocktails and was feeling a bit lazy. I reach... | 6 | 16.333333 | |
1397765009 | 1397830404 | t3_23apc9 | t5_2to41 | 3,489 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to masturbate discreetly. (x-post from r/cringe)
So yesterday, I got home from class and found my roommate entertaining some of her friends in the living room. My roommate is a really sweet/innocent girl. She blushes and says "oh my" if I make any crude jokes about sex.
Anyways, I get home an... | 10 | 348.9 | |
1397754510 | 1397819376 | t3_23a7c5 | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by vandalism my building. Worst part is I did it suddenly and in such a way that the building manager knows it was me.
I was walking by this inside stairwell area and the building is no-smoking. Somebody had just been smoking there recently - I smell it a lot on the cold days because whoever it is, is t... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1397767201 | 1397819528 | t3_23at52 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Peanutbuttersodemy: TIFU By locking my keys in my car
My first TIFU please forgive any mistakes.
So I have a 2013 dodge challenger with keyless entry remote start all the good stuff well it is supposed to be impossible to lock your keys in as the car can sense the keys and prevent it from locking. Well my girlfriend s... | 3 | 5 | |
1397769557 | 1397836412 | t3_23ax69 | t5_2to41 | 6 | negralence: TIFU by getting caught
so my dad is a hardcore Mormon, and while I am Mormon I don't dwell in it as deeply.
I was out with my girlfriend who had a pretty crappy day. we took a walk in the park and such (me trying to make her feel better the goods you know). well it quickly evolved to us making out in my c... | 3 | 2 | |
1397768857 | 1397848091 | t3_23avzq | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU By being both Mr Hands and Dr. Slippy Fists.
http://i.imgur.com/rfprfa8.png
Yeah... I did this.
I've been in contact with not only this woman from HR at a company i really really want to work at and other job prospects for a while with my name as Mr Hands, and my G+ profile as Dr Slippy Fists.
... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1397777204 | 1397785836 | t3_23b98w | t5_2to41 | 30 | sk8terisbored: Tifu by having sex with by girlfriend
Today I done fucked up.
So to start I'll give some quick background. I'm 20, I live with my parents, and my girlfriend is 16. Before I go further I'll point out that where I live this is not illegal due to the fact that she is exactly 3 years and 8 months younger. H... | 3 | 10 | |
1397786498 | 1397822347 | t3_23bn49 | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by delivering food, like 20 mins late.
my coworker and i are in a lot of shit..
long story short, not sure if coworker and i will have a job on monday :(
story too long and complicated to explain.. but here we go..
it was for over 30 people, had to travel by foot, didnt know our way, co-worker who h... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1397783341 | 1397826263 | t3_23biik | t5_2to41 | 102 | SingerBaby: TIFU mildly by sending an Instant Message to my boss.
Yup. This is one we've all heard before -- and one I'm sure many of us have done before. I can now add my name to that list. I need to share my embarrassment.
I've been working for my company for about 9 months. I am a recent graduate with a degree in s... | 5 | 20.4 | |
1397793310 | 1397840543 | t3_23bwh6 | t5_2to41 | 39 | the_slacker99: TIFU by pissing myself in front of my friend
This all happened last July.
I was at a college campus for a conference. We were staying in the dorms with all different girls we didn't know that well. So its one of our last days there (it was a week long event) and by then, we established our morning bath... | 9 | 4.333333 | |
1397794773 | 1397796146 | t3_23byd9 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: Tifu and took the addresses of thousands of redditors making them think I'm a terrorist pyscho
So a long time ago I was dating a guy from OkCupid and we he told me he had won a lifetime supply of reese's peanut butter cups. I told him I'd never eaten a peanut butter cup and he got so excited he put my addres... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1397797689 | 1397808354 | t3_23c1zi | t5_2to41 | 38 | doyouknowwatiamsayin: TIFU by trying to steal liquor from my friend's boss during the company Christmas party...and I got caught.
Obviously this story didn't happen today, as it occurred during Christmas. My roommate (we'll call her Rachel) and a good friend (Belinda) were working for a professional food lab. They mad... | 6 | 6.333333 | |
1397795929 | 1397853004 | t3_23bzvo | t5_2to41 | 73 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting my pants.
My boyfriend's car was in the shop for a few weeks so I had to take him to work every morning around 7, then I had to get myself to class at 9. We don't go out much but we happened to get randomly trashed one night, both with awful hangovers the next morning. As we left our place t... | 7 | 10.428571 | |
1397746331 | 1397836402 | t3_239tii | t5_2to41 | 9 | throwawaytrumpethump: TIFU by vomiting
I'm a recovering bulimic and today after a month without vomiting I threw up so hard that I knocked my phone into the boke and spilled it over the carpet trying to catch it :(
MerryJobler: Congrats on making it a month, but sorry about your phone. I'm actually not sure what happ... | 6 | 1.5 | |
1397803205 | 1397951642 | t3_23c7hu | t5_2to41 | 31 | Tenchi98: TIFU by trying to take down a Football player (ONE YEAR UPDATE)
So it has almost been exactly twelve months since I broke my collarbone. Tomorrow will be the day I broke it, around 9:00AM - 9:45AM Pacific time. I posted in tifu one year ago, http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1ctrdx/tifu_by_trying_to_take_... | 7 | 4.428571 | |
1397802831 | 1397833934 | t3_23c764 | t5_2to41 | 59 | uzk: TIFU by using aloe vera soap
...on my dick.
So I'm getting ready to sleep and I decide hey, why not take a quick fap before I hit the sack. I ran out of lube so I grabbed some soap from the bathroom and started to use it. Within about 30 seconds my dingus suddenly becomes the surface of the sun, and, a tiny bit c... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1397817879 | 1397873600 | t3_23ci0y | t5_2to41 | 52 | youarenothing: TIFU by spilling my guts about being miserable and depressed to someone who didn't really need to hear it
I have a friend, who is a girl -- it's worth mentioning because she's practically my only female friend (and I generally don't have a lot of friends to begin with), and it just so happens I'm a littl... | 4 | 13 | |
1397833552 | 1398499088 | t3_23cyyw | t5_2to41 | 949 | R0WB04T: TIFU by leaving pony porn on my phone at work
This actually happened yesterday, but a fuck up nonetheless.
I work at a place that requires me to drive a route in the afternoon while I'm on-site during the morning. Throughout a normal day, when things are slow, I go on my phone to browse reddit. No big deal, e... | 18 | 52.722222 | |
1397837170 | 1397915270 | t3_23d4v1 | t5_2to41 | 119 | cclthrowaway: TIFU in another country
Background context: I am an Australian currently in Sweden for an exchange program organised through university
So this morning I was at uni (in Sweden) meeting up with a few mates for a group assignment. We decided to met up early so I got up at an ungodly hour that was far earli... | 5 | 23.8 | |
1397837049 | 1397985790 | t3_23d4nz | t5_2to41 | 107 | curioussb: TIFU by farting
So my boyfriend is visiting me, and he's been staying at my parents house with me for a couple days now. And girls just don't fart in front of guys.
Now my boyfriend has been telling me for a while now that it's okay if I fart in front of him, because it's totally normal, blah blah blah. And... | 11 | 9.727273 | |
1397836338 | 1398127664 | t3_23d3hr | t5_2to41 | 9 | fallingshoes: TIFU by forgetting to kill the spider
I was shaving this morning, looked up, and saw a spider. Meant to kill it once I was done, but forgot for about 15 minutes. Looked again and it was gone.
MillsTheGreat: How big was the spider?
fallingshoes: Bigger than Jesus.
MillsTheGreat: Are you from Austrialia? T... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1397801247 | 1397938610 | t3_23c5ph | t5_2to41 | 16 | pep48ito: TIFU By forgetting to wear my gloves
TIFU I work at a factory that makes Bellevilles, which are metal discs ranging from small to very large we store them in large barrels, so today I'm helping my boss move some bins in the machine room and he was on the Fork lift, trying to get a barrel on the forks and he s... | 6 | 2.666667 | |
1397838224 | 1398176606 | t3_23d6h4 | t5_2to41 | 45 | Vitenskapsmann: TIFU by dropping my iPhone into a stranger's piss and plunging my hands in after it
Okay, this didn't happen today, but the first anniversary of when it happened is fast approaching.
So I was in Paris with a bunch of my friends last year, and we decided to go to Disneyland for a day. The thing about Di... | 3 | 15 | |
1397831804 | 1397845878 | t3_23cwcf | t5_2to41 | 28 | eaglesfan15: TIFU by accidentally making fun of people with missing limbs
The other day I was sitting with a bunch of people before our weekly meetings to plan events for our community. One event in particular that we had coming up was a petting zoo. I was exclaiming to my friend about how odd it was that we were able ... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1397849146 | 1397887616 | t3_23doe9 | t5_2to41 | 534 | littlethrowaway778: TIFU By making my sisters new boyfriend think I'm into incest
So, this morning I felt like spanking the old meat. Like most mornings. I loaded up my laptop and fired up my favourite porn site and began loading up a few tabs worth of action. Now, this particular website has a lot of videos titled "Br... | 5 | 106.8 | |
1397851971 | 1400070850 | t3_23dt3n | t5_2to41 | 42 | southeast_boarder: TIFU by Using the Wrong Figure of Speech
Ok so this happened last summer and was probably the biggest foot in mouth moment of my life. It's kind of long so I apologize.
Background:
In the summers I worked as a lifeguard at my city's local pool and a few days out of the week some daycares/boys&g... | 6 | 7 | |
1397853881 | 1397945840 | t3_23dw8q | t5_2to41 | 35 | PoopShoeThrowaway: TIFU by shitting my pants in public
Since it's a nice day outside, I promised my son I'd go with him to a park about 3 min from our house after lunch. Which I did.
While he played on the playground, I just walked around the perimeter listening to a podcast on my MP3 player. After about 20 min, he st... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1397858363 | 1397874807 | t3_23e36c | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU on my daily bus ride
I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes
TurtleStrangulation: pics or it didnt hap... | 6 | 6 | |
1397858243 | 1397943152 | t3_23e2zv | t5_2to41 | 206 | bill_azeitfa_gates: TIFU by trying to hide the sound of me pooping from my girlfriend
Not doing this on my main account because I'd rather not be identified.
A romantic overnight stay in a ~500 occupant four star hotel at the heart of a popular English city for our first year anniversary turned out to be a lot more ev... | 7 | 29.428571 | |
1397842679 | 1397870767 | t3_23ddre | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending the wrong resume.
My friend told me about a great opportunity with her company that pays really well. She gave me her email to send her my resume. Shortly after I got her email I doctored up my resume to send to her. Even though I'm still a college student I figured I might as well send my re... | 3 | 3 | |
1397865156 | 1397941642 | t3_23ecx4 | t5_2to41 | 870 | Error2011: TIFU by finishing for the first time [NSFW]
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a really long time and tonight I wanted to surprise him with some awesome start of the weekend sex. I figured I would warm myself up a little bit, so I could focus on him. I decided I would just watch some porn a... | 7 | 124.285714 | |
1397877179 | 1397907549 | t3_23esfz | t5_2to41 | 473 | Nowhereman123: TIFU by putting a credit card where no credit card should go
Today, I was driving with my Mom and a few siblings and we had to stop and pick up gas. It was cold out, so no one really wanted to go get out to put the gas in. Of course, I volunteered bravely to go and pump the gas. I got out, and my mom giv... | 6 | 78.833333 | |
1397878909 | 1397933953 | t3_23eumk | t5_2to41 | 21 | Makeit_rainCash: TIFU by showing my physics teacher porn.
This was senior year of high school I went to six flags (amusement park) for senior day with my physics class, that had less than 10 people in it, and my 24 year old very religious missionary teacher. I went to a private Christian school. It was supposed to be r... | 3 | 7 | |
1397873936 | 1397884401 | t3_23eoh5 | t5_2to41 | 12 | TheMysticalBaconTree: TIFU by browsing reddit/procrastinating when I should be writing my final paper.
I've noticed that a lot of posts on /r/tifu are from the past. Well this one is from the present; in fact, it is still happening as I type. I have a final paper that was due last Friday. I already got an extension unt... | 3 | 4 | |
1397883655 | 1398390128 | t3_23f058 | t5_2to41 | 368 | firearmtifu: TIFU by discharging an AR-10 (.308) battle rifle in my house. Pics of carnage included.
This was last Sunday.
Full album here. http://imgur.com/a/5xwDq
I was mishandling a firearm in my house. I squeezed the trigger on a loaded rifle. Ended up blowing up my parents washing machine.
I can't describe how ... | 15 | 24.533333 | |
1397883890 | 1397928719 | t3_23f0ee | t5_2to41 | 64 | Derp1121: TIFU by opening a sound byte from a friend at a bible study
Well not exactly today, more like three and a half years ago, but this is one of my biggest fuck ups.
I was going through a rough break up, so i was talking to this girl I was trying to rebound with. She invited me to a bible study with some of her ... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1397884758 | 1397950669 | t3_23f1be | t5_2to41 | 182 | DoggyKisses: TIFU by not listening to my dog
So I've been seeing this girl I met through my buddy and his wife and she is a very sweet and kind. We decided tonight we'd go to my place to watch a movie.
A little backstory:
I have a 4 Year old black Newfoundland dog. They're rather large, but they're big sweethearts. ... | 4 | 45.5 | |
1397893778 | 1397961208 | t3_23f8vc | t5_2to41 | 1,564 | GreatestOfAllTime96: TIFU by not going to the doctor soon enough
Alright this isn't actually my story. This happened to my friend but he doesn't have a reddit account so I'll tell it for him. So really it's a TMFFU (today my friend fucked up)
And it is bad.
My friend posted in a private group on Facebook on Wednesda... | 10 | 156.4 | |
1397901080 | 1397949331 | t3_23fdfe | t5_2to41 | 16 | CharlesOrchard: TIFU by putting nudes on my story on snapchat
I recently broke up with a girl and within a week this chick was really in to me. I kinda felt the same about her so I just went along with it. I'd been texting her and met her a couple of times but nothing too serious.
Suddenly though, I received a bikini s... | 13 | 1.230769 | |
1397916856 | 1397924287 | t3_23fpna | t5_2to41 | 38 | Labryss: TIFU by being an accidental racist.
This actually happened last night, but it was so late that I thought I'd post it in the morning.
I'm a first year student at a Canadian University living in residence and its set up like apartments. My friend down the hall sends me a text asking me to hide her alcohol in my... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1397897394 | 1398130376 | t3_23fb8p | t5_2to41 | 9 | collopyj: TIFU by breaking my housemates heart.
She and I have kissed on more than one occasion, and confessed our affections for one another (never sex though). It's awkward because we live with two others and we know it can't keep happening, it's not healthy for the household.
It's a great house, spacious, good loca... | 3 | 3 | |
1397921709 | 1397928311 | t3_23fvgt | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking someone was blowing a kiss at me.
Happened last night. He's an acquaintance of mine…and I thought he was sarcastically blowing a kiss in my direction… turns out he was blowing a brokiss at the guy sitting next to me. What is so bad about that, you might ask? Well…when I thought I was the one... | 3 | 16 | |
1397926142 | 1398009453 | t3_23g1hc | t5_2to41 | 128 | phantomphaggot: TIFU by eating too much Chipotle
So I was about to go walking around Yosemite with my family and we picked up some Chipotle beforehand. Normally Chipotle gives me the shits (like it does to everyone) except today it was much worse. I was hungry so I decided to get 2 burrito bowls instead of one. That wa... | 6 | 21.333333 | |
1397927963 | 1398036805 | t3_23g44t | t5_2to41 | 81 | jehanprouvaire: TIFU by going to work early
I work at a small library on my campus, and I agreed to cover an 8-10 shift for one of my coworkers. I wake up early on my day off and open up by myself, which I thought was a little strange because usually at least one of my bosses shows up that early as well but didn't thin... | 3 | 27 | |
1397939780 | 1398131439 | t3_23glkn | t5_2to41 | 151 | hurtyvagina: TIFU by being a horny female
So today (about half an hour ago) I decided I would do something about the growing horniness that was coming over me. Since I am lonely, I had no one to help me. So I laid down in bed, turned on some porn on my phone and started rubbing. But that wasn't enough for me. Oh no, I ... | 9 | 16.777778 | |
1397936597 | 1397945503 | t3_23ggt9 | t5_2to41 | 40 | ClassyTurkey: TIFU by telling my GFs grandma about possibly applying for a job overseas. Haven't told GF yet.
So at GFs grandma's house for an early Easter Lunch with the family. Grandma and I start talking about life goals and my current job. This then leads to how happy I am with the current job and my answer was, "W... | 4 | 10 | |
1397943190 | 1398177417 | t3_23gqg6 | t5_2to41 | 6 | jxnpope12: TIFU by downing a 5-hour energy and a 12oz. Red Bull on an empty stomach.
Fuck finals.
I think I might die.
Fuck.
shadowlurker_j: Wait, what?
jxnpope12: [Drank one of these](http://www.target.com/p/5-hour-energy-lemon-lime-energy-shot-6-pack-1-93-fl-oz/-/A-12032548?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=google_pl... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1397943927 | 1398102075 | t3_23grhf | t5_2to41 | 25 | coreys07: TIFU by losing my Indian food virginity
TIFU...I thought it would be a good idea to lose my Indian food virginity. With 3 girls, and one other guy. We arrived at the restaurant and I was immediately spitting game about how something has be hotter than the devils diarrhea to make me feel "uncomfortably spicy i... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1397945508 | 1397947140 | t3_23gtpe | t5_2to41 | 7 | VanMisanthrope: TIFU by trying to cook
Today, I thought that I knew how to cook. So I decided to make alfredo pasta and fry some sausages to mix in when that was done.
1. Burn the sauce horribly
2. Overcook the sausage
3. Manage to dump all the spaghetti into the sink instead of the colander.
4. Give up and make pi... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1397953904 | 1398111967 | t3_23h50u | t5_2to41 | 59 | plahplahplah: TIFU by ruining my chance of being apart of a loving family again
backstory: I dated a girl for a year and we broke up. I became extremely close with her family; they practically became my family since my own family doesn't pay attention to/nourish/love me. I was with them almost every day for a year. She... | 13 | 4.538462 | |
1397952496 | 1398108986 | t3_23h350 | t5_2to41 | 85 | licktapus: TIFU by pulling my ex-bf's foreskin back
This happened about a year ago...
So, my ex-bf has an uncircumcised penis and he'd never pulled his foreskin back. We were fooling around and I was trying to pull it back over the head for some unknown reason. I pulled his foreskin back and it got stuck behind the he... | 7 | 12.142857 | |
1397748929 | 1397955542 | t3_239xsb | t5_2to41 | 8 | ishmale11: TIFU by having out of date soup for breakfast. It tastes... so bad.
So I have a bit of a cold, which means I can't taste or smell anything really.
Series of events:
Not quite awake,
Heats up soup,
Eats soup,
Decides to clear out sinuses half way through eating of soup,
Come back to soup to see a strang... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1397954821 | 1398017554 | t3_23h67b | t5_2to41 | 33 | jurressicaa: Tifu by laying my boyfriends Xbox on the wrong side while it was on.
So I just now fucked up by placing my boyfriends Xbox on it's side. Normally it's fine doing that but I accidentally put it on the wrong side (vents down) and the console was still on. Instantly the game that was in it (gta5) sounds like ... | 8 | 4.125 | |
1397959472 | 1397975993 | t3_23hc5x | t5_2to41 | 1,857 | teehee14: TIFU by eating two pounds of almonds.
This was a few years ago.
I was in the Army and purchased that week's groceries. Groceries that included a week's worth of almonds in the form of a huge two pound bag.
Normally that would last me the week and well beyond. Not this week. I had inadvertently signed... | 11 | 168.818182 | |
1397959684 | 1398132218 | t3_23hcf6 | t5_2to41 | 14 | kbobdc3: TIFU by taking a screenshot on garry's mod.
I took a screenshot of a *slightly* racist scene on garry's mod. I thought my friends would get a kick out of it. I accidentally had the "upload to facebook" box checked. Didn't realize it until I checked my news feed (the next day).
since I have no shame, I'll just... | 10 | 1.4 | |
1397963125 | 1402157237 | t3_23hgtm | t5_2to41 | 57 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU (Actually a friend of mine) by setting myself on fire inside my school.
Yeah, sorry. Not me who did this, but he's a friend of mine. And I was there for the whole incident, so I'm not retelling this.
I don't have a story for you today, so I figured I'd post an old story from about a year ago tha... | 11 | 5.181818 | |
1397962524 | 1398052812 | t3_23hg17 | t5_2to41 | 8 | IWCtrl: TIFU by disregarding vehicle maintenance
(Actually a few days ago, but fuck it)
When I bought the car I own, I was told that it would run well forever IF the timing belt didn't break. I was told also that I should get said timing belt serviced ASAP, since the last service date was unknown.
The belt snapped wh... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1397956043 | 1398023127 | t3_23h7q2 | t5_2to41 | 75 | CaptainEightBall: TIFU by texting my boss a picture of Danny Devito's ass
So not too long ago a friend of mine got me into It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. In my free time I've been watching all of the episodes on Netflix and got to the Christmas episode. So in this episode, there's a scene where Danny Devito's cha... | 4 | 18.75 | |
1397977084 | 1397992761 | t3_23hvrn | t5_2to41 | 3 | Murican_Freedom1776: TIFU by having sex [NSFW]
Let me start by saying this: http://youtu.be/CCWSDyz7hhc
Me and my girlfriend had a lot to celebrate last night. First off, she is graduating this summer, and I just got over a bad upper respiratory infection that turned into pneumonia.
To celebrate, I took her out on ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1397971717 | 1398100625 | t3_23hqxs | t5_2to41 | 62 | Johwya: TIFU by blinding some guy
A couple of years ago a couple of family members and some friends rented a house out in east Texas. This particular house is on top of a hill overlooking prime dove hunting area. [imagine this](http://wallpapersfor.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/house_on_a_hill_1920x1080.jpg). We were o... | 5 | 12.4 | |
1397984668 | 1397990983 | t3_23i0un | t5_2to41 | 2 | milofski: I may have impregnated my girlfriend
sj_ouch: If her period was due yesterday, then she is definitely not at her most fertile time. The most fertile time in the cycle is (if on a fairly regular monthly cycle) two weeks after the first day of her last period/two weeks before the first day of her next period.
... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1397975052 | 1398021970 | t3_23hu3i | t5_2to41 | 49 | Shiennar: TIFU. Swimwear, swimminglessons and you.
In my country it is obligatory for every child to go through swimminglessons when participating in your five first years in school. My school treated this as no different, and once every week two grades travelled together to the local pool to learn how to swim and all ... | 3 | 16.333333 | |
1398002693 | 1398013632 | t3_23idpq | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by venting at the bar to a seemingly nice woman
My boyfriend was pretty drunk and in the bro zone and I felt pretty ignored. I don't really have female friends to talk or vent to, and all of our group were his buddies, so I went outside for air. Most bar girls I wouldn't air my dirty laundry to, but Hea... | 8 | 7.25 | |
1398015980 | 1398025985 | t3_23ivep | t5_2to41 | 722 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my friends mom I want to fuck her
### Removal
Removing all text from the post. All this has done is made my situation worse. If I had known that I would be scrutinized like this, I would have kept this to myself.
**For those that want to know what this is all about: PM me.**
I will not be r... | 10 | 72.2 | |
1398015400 | 1398128168 | t3_23iujx | t5_2to41 | 124 | RoomCleaner: TIFU By Letting my mother clean my room.
So my mum was going to paint my room so she was cleaning up first it was all fine she was dusting away and spraying shit with window cleaner. Then she reached my bed and I do try my best to hide my wanking habits but sometimes there is a stray sock that may or may n... | 6 | 20.666667 | |
1398016982 | 1398090371 | t3_23iwwa | t5_2to41 | 210 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to hide a stain with another stain.
A couple years ago at work, when I was smoking outside, a girl I worked with was sitting on my lap right on my shit for a few minutes. When I got back upstairs I was sitting at my desk and I noticed I had a cum leak spot on my pants. Ok sit there for half ho... | 4 | 52.5 | |
1398013388 | 1398202025 | t3_23irjp | t5_2to41 | 1,096 | theartistsaysno: TIFU by mistaking my period for chocolate.
Seeing as today is Easter, I was enjoying a nice chocolate egg in my bed, pre-breakfast of course, when I realized I needed to poop. Alright fine, down to to the toilet, out comes the shat. Nothing wrong going on. except there is the ~~very small~~ major an... | 12 | 91.333333 | |
1398019965 | 1398811009 | t3_23j1bh | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying a camera on eBay
Older digital SLR, been thinking about getting into photography as a sobriety project.
Got it yesterday, piece of shit has broken pins in the compact flash card slot. Had I done any research at all I wouldn't have fucked this up and I'd be able to take pictures with a workin... | 4 | 10 | |
1398026778 | 1398038902 | t3_23jbbc | t5_2to41 | 53 | potajedechicharo: TIFU by dropping my cellphone
I had left my cellphone sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter while I took a shower. After a few minutes, I hopped out of the shower to reach for the towel. Suddenly the phone comes alive with notifications from work. So, with wet hands I scooped it up and fumbled... | 4 | 13.25 | |
1397987446 | 1398039455 | t3_23i2ig | t5_2to41 | 25 | simplemath: TIFU by accidentally overdosing on my sleeping pills.
This was a few days ago, but whatever. I recently was prescribed sleeping pills by my doctor because I have bad insomnia, but many of the kinds haven't worked and I've been left tired and sleepless.
One of the pills she prescribed me worked the first t... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1398035104 | 1398054200 | t3_23jnby | t5_2to41 | -40 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a FAKE reddit post.
readysteadyjedi: > I have a passion for storytelling, and **I'm kind of decent at it**.
Stop lying already dude.
Catform: Well... I would like to think I am decent at it.... Sorry for having faith In myself
OfficerTwix: You either suck at story telling, suck at math, ... | 6 | -6.666667 |
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