start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1398958523 | 1398988183 | t3_24gnce | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a silly romantic fool.
In all honesty this was coming but all I could do was deny it was happening, again.
At first you were interested, and then you became more interested however, its always short lived. I'm weird, I'm odd, and maybe that's nice at first but it gets old quickly. I thought ma... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1398974761 | 1399003640 | t3_24hejs | t5_2to41 | 109 | rpgguy_1o1: TIFU by trying to get my kitten to come on the bed so I could pet him.
I had just woken up, laying on my side, this morning to my kitten meowing at me. He was sitting on a box of comic books next to my bed and I wanted to pet him.
To attract him over I started calling his name and moving my hand back and f... | 9 | 12.111111 | |
1398971794 | 1398999196 | t3_24h9ks | t5_2to41 | 111 | WonderboyUK: TIFU by inadvertently showing 13 year olds a video about a crackhead spider driving a car.
I, hopefully still, teach science to 11-18 year olds and was looking for a decent video clip to show students on the effects of different drugs. I found [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc) on th... | 3 | 37 | |
1398977115 | 1399037151 | t3_24hihb | t5_2to41 | 2,544 | AnalOverload: TIFU by wiping my ass with what I thought was cotton
Ok so this didn't happen today but when I was much younger. So I was with my uncle while he was remodeling a home. I would help with small things like running back and forth to his vehicle with screws or tools when he needed it. At this point in constru... | 11 | 231.272727 | |
1398977784 | 1399009574 | t3_24hjl5 | t5_2to41 | 24 | UmiShirube: TIFU by sleeping through my alarm.
So today I fucked up by sleeping through my alarm. I was meant to wake up three hours ago to drive my girlfriend who lives 45 minutes away and drive her to the airport.
My alarm went off and I snoozed right past it and now I'm up shit creek without a paddle.
I know I w... | 3 | 8 | |
1398984708 | 1399062066 | t3_24husx | t5_2to41 | 53 | traugdor: TIFU by saying no to my wife
This doesn't involve poop.
Today is my wife's birthday and she asked if we could go to a small dinner dive downtown and I, being the jerk that I am, made an excuse because I wanted to just stay home with her. 6 minutes later she texts me and says "thats fine".
I get home from wo... | 8 | 6.625 | |
1398985577 | 1399264155 | t3_24hw27 | t5_2to41 | 103 | Richy8447: TIFU (1 year ago) by fapping while on Xbox live.
So me and my friends were playing a couple games on Xbox live. One of my friends (Chris) left to go make popcorn. My other friend (George) said he would be back soon. My dumbass, thinking they would take a while, got out my kindle and began fapping. The only p... | 8 | 12.875 | |
1398986817 | 1398997254 | t3_24hxvf | t5_2to41 | 71 | [deleted]: TIFU by 'shaving' my pubes with scissors. Oh god the itching.
Generic (male, for context's sake) teenage idiot, decided to remove my pubic hair since it was getting out of hand and getting to the point in my current relationship where that stuff matters. But instead of manning up and either asking my dad to ... | 3 | 23.666667 | |
1398993255 | 1399142666 | t3_24i78w | t5_2to41 | 90 | shamkitten: TIFU by calling my students "a bunch of assholes"
First year teaching ever so I make a lot of mistakes but this one has probably been the worst. I teach freshmen in a low income school and they were acting pretty immature and picking on each other. It just slipped out.
dancingmrt: Just be glad the internal... | 7 | 12.857143 | |
1398993778 | 1399064064 | t3_24i80w | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by burning my nipples
Well... I have had some pretty dark days if I may say so myself, and this particular accident happened a few years back. When I was in the 8th grade, I was known pretty well to be the "One who does the stupid shit", and everyone was right to believe so. I was the class dipshit.
Wh... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1398985037 | 1399011770 | t3_24hv9k | t5_2to41 | 18 | NefastVoltaire: TIFU by listening to the weatherman.
So I wake up at 2 in the morning to get ready for work. It's a bit nippy out so I pull on jeans and a sweater, no t-shirt and top it off with my leather coat. The weatherman says it'll be a cold day out. Fast forward to 2:40 and I begin my 50 minute trek home.
It i... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1399012292 | 1399072640 | t3_24iv8i | t5_2to41 | 34 | Im18fuckmyass: TIFU and I am jittering with fear while writing this.
Well today I fucked up and it wasn't even 1 in the morning yet. Before I get started, I'll tell you why I did something so GD stupid.
So a while ago (maybe a month) I got handed a ticket for driving past curfew. (I am 18, but I was driving on an in... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1399017681 | 1399109648 | t3_24izjq | t5_2to41 | 11 | tsu28: TIFU deleting windows
so i tried to install ubuntu and i accedently deleted windows and all of my files. exams begin on monday
Cancani: Im sorry but what
[deleted]: I actually tried installing ubuntu so I could dual boot with windows 7 and linux a while back; it asked me if I want to use the version of linux I ... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1399011548 | 1399062547 | t3_24iujt | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by Gambling
Well I decided to try out an online casino in an attempt to earn some money. And at first it worked out quite well as i had accumulated over 1500 dollars. But I fucked up by pushing my luck. I lost it all. I then preceded to deposit more of my own money into the casino. I lost a lot of money... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1399031306 | 1399119555 | t3_24j9ih | t5_2to41 | 2,919 | honestruth1987: TIFU by shooting myself through the hand with a 9mm
So I was cleaning my 9mm M9A1 and loaded it before I was gonna put it up. I later on forgot I had loaded it and while bored home alone decided to see if I liked the weight of the trigger. I racked the slide to cock it, then managed to shoot myself ri... | 13 | 224.538462 | |
1399022802 | 1399122897 | t3_24j32r | t5_2to41 | 64 | Crazedmonkey05: TIFU by eating Golden Corral and thinking everything would be fine.
I went to Golden Corral with my boyfriend, as we haven't eaten out in a while. So everything is going good, we finish our food and leave. Walmart is just down the street so we head over there. My boyfriend gets a pair of pants, and ever... | 6 | 10.666667 | |
1399036778 | 1399391866 | t3_24jfam | t5_2to41 | 435 | TheEwokApocalypse: TIFU by mistaking spray on fake tan for deodorant...
And now I'm just sitting here, at work, with underarms so gold that Midas himself would be jealous.
Yay.
Poet-Laureate: As long as you wear a T-shirt- or shirt with sleeves, where is the problem?
It's not like redditors are getting laid...
^^^... | 6 | 72.5 | |
1399015076 | 1399405419 | t3_24ixig | t5_2to41 | 76 | simplish: TIFU by applying for a job
This is a cautionary tale for why you don't do things at 2am.
I currently work in a job with a lot of commuting and have been getting a bit fed up of the time it takes. A couple of days ago I saw something advertised at an interesting company about 10mins walk from my house and de... | 4 | 19 | |
1399020510 | 1399142000 | t3_24j1h5 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by causing a car accident.
Let me start off by saying that no one was hurt in the process, it was a very small crash. Anyways, my parents decided to do some cleaning and they had me take out a lot of useless items in the garage. Some of the stuff we throw away, but like every good Samaritan we put items... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1399041521 | 1399057729 | t3_24jlpd | t5_2to41 | 169 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating gummy fruit snacks while drunk.
My GF, friends, and I went out last night night drinking. Its last call so my GF drives me and her back to her place. We walk in and I see some fruit snacks on the counter. Immediately, my drunk self starts going to town on this jar of fruit snacks. I ate probab... | 5 | 33.8 | |
1399047217 | 1399508616 | t3_24jugl | t5_2to41 | 126 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally coughing up a load of flem down my massively obese college teachers cleavage.
As my morbidly obese teacher leaned over to help me with my work, her massive rolls of fat and cleavage rested on my desk. I've had a bad chest infection lately and out of nowhere I accidentally coughed up a ma... | 7 | 18 | |
1399048212 | 1399084008 | t3_24jw1t | t5_2to41 | 9 | blobber109: TIFU by trying to clean the crook of a tenor saxophone
**tl;dr Got a [cloth](http://img01.cp.aliimg.com/imgextra/i2/42283645/T2VxNSXdxbXXXXXXXX_!!42283645.jpg) stuck in the [crook](http://vintagemartinguitar.net/files/2010/11/-83141705664004441.jpg) of a [tenor](http://www.bandmans.com/images/TS-280G.jpg) s... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1399047429 | 1399309358 | t3_24juts | t5_2to41 | 47 | Src4mblerr: Tifu by purchasing concert tickets on Craigslist
So i have been looking for concert tickets for a while now. They were averaging $200-300 on eBay and other ticket resale websites. I looked on Craigslist and saw a deal for $75 a ticket for four tickets. I jumped on the deal, met with the guy last night and h... | 3 | 15.666667 | |
1399060683 | 1409225863 | t3_24kghm | t5_2to41 | 44 | trezegol: TIFU by submitting 2 assignments with a high rate of plagiarism.
Well, they were not submitted today, but today our marks came out... everyone apart mine. I emailed them, and they stated that sometimes marks may be delayed due to suspected plagiarism.
I relaxed, as I had checked my assignments with viper, a ... | 6 | 7.333333 | |
1399073552 | 1399148367 | t3_24l05w | t5_2to41 | 455 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking an armless girl if she needed a hand
So I was leaving a building today and there was this girl who only had one arm trying to get through the doors. She was carrying a big stack of books and seemed to be struggling, so I stepped over and without thinking, asked, "Do you need a hand?" as I open... | 7 | 65 | |
1399072145 | 1399262916 | t3_24ky98 | t5_2to41 | 85 | LongboardOwl: TIFU by getting a 200 dollar haircut
So I am 14. I am also female. I went to get a haircut and peekaboo highlights, but the hairdresser up priced it and it was supposed to be around 90 dollars, which is a bunch of money but it's ok because I rarely get a haircut., but it turned out to be 200 dollars becau... | 7 | 12.142857 | |
1398936908 | 1399100782 | t3_24fzm6 | t5_2to41 | 15 | ritzygypsy: TIFU by being a stickler for rules
This actually happened a while ago, but I just found this subreddit yesterday.
Anyway, I used to work at a consignment store. We were located about a mile from the county jail, half a mile from the nearest trailer park, and about a mile from the Pine Crest motel, where p... | 3 | 5 | |
1399078002 | 1399095036 | t3_24l5zo | t5_2to41 | 31 | Kingsgirl: TIFU by "hiding" the car keys
Well, I fucked up. I leave for work before my husband so I don't take the car keys with me, they stay at home and he drives to and from work, I carpool for mine.
So this morning I did a little grocery shopping and picked up coffee for us. Then I went about my merry way and lef... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1399083849 | 1399094010 | t3_24ld9m | t5_2to41 | 12 | Milehighhusker: TIFU By trying to use my car remote on my work badge reader to get in the building...
Bwjjwb: "It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car."
holymother: This is a good point. Never thought about it til now.
| 3 | 4 | |
1399083794 | 1399130168 | t3_24ld72 | t5_2to41 | 1,006 | minhtan_93: TIFU and had cops pull their guns on me
First off, this is a while ago, but it was pretty bad fuck-up. I discovered a new hobby a while back; airguns. It seemed like a perfect way to satisfy my desire to shoot stuff, while keeping cost and hassles down. Or so i thought.
One day, after saving up around $50... | 18 | 55.888889 | |
1399078373 | 1399100892 | t3_24l6h6 | t5_2to41 | 146 | broncosfan150: TIFU by getting in 2 car accidents.
I have had my license for a little less than a year now, and have not had any accidents. I was coming home from my friends house and wasn't paying attention and hit a car. There wasn't any damage to either car but the woman started to bitch about her neck and something... | 5 | 29.2 | |
1399079760 | 1399856397 | t3_24l88s | t5_2to41 | 25 | xiaden: TIFU by entering a never ending cycle.
About 9pm last night I decideded to be a bit proactive, and set up for today. Walk out to my car, intent on grabbing a monster from the gas station 3 minutes away, when I notice my gas lights on. Grab my wallet, and notice my bank card isn't in it. Fuck. Tear the house... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1399088153 | 1399125230 | t3_24lijd | t5_2to41 | 366 | jfbskaa: TIFU by kissing my SO mother on the mouth
Throwaway just because
So today I was saying goodbye to my SO parents, and when I was going to kiss her mother on the cheek she turned her head (as to kiss my cheek) and our lips touched. I was pretty embarrassed and just have that stupid embarassad-laugh, shooked he... | 6 | 61 | |
1399090808 | 1399134702 | t3_24llks | t5_2to41 | 145 | mognut: TIFU by burning things in my bathroom
So this happened 2 days ago,
So basically how it happened was my fiance places scent candles in the bathroom to keep it smelling nice. I was getting ready to go out and i was spraying on deodorant and thaught it would be funny to spray the deodorant on the candle. It crea... | 4 | 36.25 | |
1399086813 | 1399319934 | t3_24lgyl | t5_2to41 | 52 | ryanstarbucks: TIFU by being a jerk to a kid with 1 leg
So I went to a State Latin Day event for my high school latin class. At this event, we had to wear togas, which are difficult to walk in if it was tight like mine. So I get to a set of stairs, and without realizing there was a kid with one leg right in front of me... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1399087959 | 1399173843 | t3_24licf | t5_2to41 | 86 | ReeceAW11: TIFU by bleeding all over a girl.
Hello, my fellow fuck ups.
Today, I fucked up. So this girl I am kinda friends with, at least a 7 or 8, lost a friend last night. He was a mutual friend of ours, so I was feeling pretty shitty too. She was really really upset, and she saw me so she ran up to me and hugge... | 3 | 28.666667 | |
1399093468 | 1399132201 | t3_24lof8 | t5_2to41 | 18 | tubahero: Tifu by killing a fish.
I was at seal point or something in Monterey Bay. My friends and I had just concluded several hours of tanning, exploring, and some ultimate friz. Things went awry when we were walking back towards the cars and I saw a shadow glide past me and felt something hit me in the shoulder. I t... | 3 | 6 | |
1399057177 | 1399124189 | t3_24kar2 | t5_2to41 | 21 | alanram: TIFU by thinking I was cool enough to ride through water.
This happened a couple of weeks ago.
First off I want to clarify that this isn't about damaging a car by driving it through water.
This is about the greenway that I ride my bike through in my town. This bike/jog trail is paved but most of it sits abo... | 3 | 7 | |
1399099607 | 1399228689 | t3_24lu66 | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by punching a girl in the face
So here I am, drunken asshole leaving the bar.
I see my friend, "Oh shit, it's X!"
He's with a girl.
Try to football tackle him, one arm on one side of his body, the other on the other side of his body
My right arm punches his girl in the face
god dammit.
fuck.
I wa... | 3 | 12 | |
1399103996 | 1399398686 | t3_24lxdj | t5_2to41 | 55 | ricnus: TIFU by trying to stop my diarrhoea
So this is not exactly today, but I did find out today how I fucked up.
I have recently been experiencing some diarrhoea (would later find out that I had a bug). Being the smart man I am I thought that it would be a great idea to get into eating healthy food to help fix thi... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1399138022 | 1399208182 | t3_24msjf | t5_2to41 | 1,322 | embarassmenttt: TIFU by peeing in the bed of the guy I really liked
Had a few drinks, had some sexy times, and then passed right on out. He woke me up to drive me home, and I realized I had pissed his bed. Well there goes that. DAMMIT SELF!
Badgerfest: He might be OK with this, certainly I wouldn't dump a girl for that... | 18 | 73.444444 | |
1399154458 | 1399232425 | t3_24nfpw | t5_2to41 | 28 | getjazzywithme: TIFU by accidentally telling my mom about my dad's affair
April19872006: Is it an ongoing affair? If so how long? Or like he messed up once type thing.
two4ten99: OP literally states they've known for years.
i_pk_pjers_i: Right but that's not what that person asked, they asked if it happened once or ... | 7 | 4 | |
1399154765 | 1399393455 | t3_24ng4w | t5_2to41 | 6 | matty555: TIFU by not having a safe fireplace.
This was a few weeks ago, but fuck the police.
______
I was just sitting at home, relaxing near the fireplace, with a laptop on my lap.
Everything's fine, until the smoke alarm went off.
I was confused, because there was absolutely no sign of any smoke. That is, until ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1399159623 | 1399202590 | t3_24nmjm | t5_2to41 | 54 | nomorealcoholiguess: TIFU by drinking too much and waking up in a hospital
A friend of a friend was throwing a party at his place. Since our mutual friend couldn't come, the host was the only other person there I knew, but I had nothing else planned for the evening so I decided to go anyways. It was a great party overa... | 5 | 10.8 | |
1399163221 | 1399491101 | t3_24nr7t | t5_2to41 | 14 | Hannah_Is_A_Gnome: TIFU by scooping poop out of my butt.
Well, it wasn't today -- it was a few years ago. Although I do not have anal sex, I read in numerous anal sex manuals that fecal matter is not stored in the rectum. One day, after having a wonderful deification, I stuck my finger up in my rectum. Guess what I fel... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1399148846 | 1399174598 | t3_24n7ru | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying a comic book
This just happened, I just got home and this is one of those moment I will keep reliving in my head for the rest of my life.
Today is Free Comic Book Day, I'm not a really big fan of them, I probably read 2 online, but my girlfriend is. Since she was working all day I figured I m... | 3 | 5 | |
1399176094 | 1399861818 | t3_24o6js | t5_2to41 | 140 | frostflare713: TIFU by killing a pregnant spider and releasing its babies
My mom was in the backyard, when she tells me to come out. I do so, and she points out a large spider with bumps on its back. She wants me to kill it. Okay, I think. I'm not stepping on that thing with my slipper, so I take the next best thing av... | 6 | 23.333333 | |
1399177016 | 1399397871 | t3_24o7lw | t5_2to41 | 34 | LiLiLisa27: TIFU by not checking the bus seat...
I am an occasional user of the public transportation system. As a college student, my ID gets me free unlimited rides throughout the entire year so I take advantage of it. The only downside is you have to put up with a lot of creepers and mentally disabled folk (not all ... | 5 | 6.8 | |
1399178093 | 1399255702 | t3_24o8pk | t5_2to41 | 1,547 | ariz28: TIFU by peeing on my dog.
We have a ritual where we go into the backyard and pee together every morning. This morning he decided to not look up when he finished and he traveled under my stream. I tried my best to miss him but I was nearing the finish and didn't have enough pressure to go over him. I ended up pe... | 11 | 140.636364 | |
1399176158 | 1399183562 | t3_24o6mq | t5_2to41 | 2 | Derpy_inferno: TIFU by making a joke about being lost in the upper peninsula of Michigan
literally 5 minutes ago I made a fake story to two of my female friends on this app 'kik' about being lost in some woods in the upper P of Michigan. mind you we're in Detroit so one of them is tripping balls and the other is pretty... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1399181144 | 1399230959 | t3_24obq9 | t5_2to41 | 129 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my boyfriend I have herpes.
This actually happened a while ago but it's too hilarious to not share. So my boyfriend and I had been dating for about a month and had recently started having sex. One particular day my boyfriend noticed that I had a blister on my ass, but I didn't think much of i... | 7 | 18.428571 | |
1399196517 | 1399202170 | t3_24on3p | t5_2to41 | 40 | redeyeninja: TIFU by giving Chicken away
I live in a very small apartment with my girlfriend and two small dogs. We decided to take in a foster dog because the local rescue agency was in desperate need of a home for an 11 month old mut. Our dogs are named Pig and Cow, so naturally the new pup was named Chicken.
We had... | 4 | 10 | |
1399195489 | 1399426892 | t3_24omix | t5_2to41 | 405 | JordoHatesYou: TIFU Got beat up by old people for being a horny teenager and then saved by a pizza guy.
So reddit didn't exist a decade ago when this happened and I just recently found this sub so here goes!
So I was 16 and seeing this girl for a few months that I was pretty sexually active with, we snuck around a lo... | 12 | 33.75 | |
1399217345 | 1400077370 | t3_24p4uu | t5_2to41 | -27 | jimthesnowboarder: TIFU by calling a black person a nigger.
i was really drunk and called a black person a nigger. now i am in the hospital with my jaw wired shut.
majorkev: Did he break your jaw because you called him a nigger?
That's an over reaction in my books.
Frankly, he should go put his strengths into other ... | 8 | -3.375 | |
1399211116 | 1399331202 | t3_24oxma | t5_2to41 | 74 | spagbowl921: TIFU by accidentally slightly pricking myself with a sterile needle, before a nurse used it on a patient.
Happened a few days ago, been on my mind since.
Student nurse here. Getting all the stuff ready for the nurse to set up a line. Really nervous, don't want to screw up. Take off the cap and a slight ... | 5 | 14.8 | |
1399212122 | 1399293703 | t3_24oyo2 | t5_2to41 | 11 | ElissaJoy: TIFU by ripping off a broken nail
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IT HURTS!!!
I thought "oh yeah i'll just tear it off and fix it up with the nail file"
nope
it tore downwards and ripped off my delicate under-nail-skin. I don't think i know many worse pains.
[deleted]: Pics?
Lovelymuffin: We need pics.
ElissaJoy: Re... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1399221444 | 1399228919 | t3_24pabs | t5_2to41 | 3 | Safry99: TIFU by puking all over myself
Went out to a club, got extremely wasted, and proceeded to puke all over myself at the entrance of the club I'm front of who knows how many people. I got extremely embarrassed and proceeded to leave my friend and walk home drunk by myself. Got home and continued to puke my brains... | 3 | 1 | |
1399227365 | 1399766616 | t3_24pj45 | t5_2to41 | 293 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my date alone in a restaurant
Background:
I've been talking to a girl for the past month or two, and we are(were) both interested in each other. Roll back to Friday and we went bowling, no biggie, she's slightly put off because I had to go shortly after we got back to her house (night shift... | 15 | 19.533333 | |
1399229699 | 1400096070 | t3_24pmqk | t5_2to41 | 2,371 | [deleted]: TIFU by Running Into My SO's Mom with Jizz in my Hair
Our living situation is rather odd; we live in a 2 story house but the basement level is essentially it's own studio apartment. The only thing we use upstairs is the shower. We lived here ourselves for about a year before my BF's mom moved in upstairs (va... | 12 | 197.583333 | |
1399230650 | 1399285963 | t3_24po7k | t5_2to41 | 157 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying a rape joke near a friend who was a rape victim.
One of my female friends was annally raped in 8th grade and today a rape joke flew out of my dumbass mouth when she was around.
lilbittyf0x: Maybe just don't make rape jokes.
jemand: Yeah. I can't remember the latest statistics, but it's somethi... | 6 | 26.166667 | |
1399238299 | 1399239054 | t3_24q03f | t5_2to41 | 2 | IaAranaDiscoteca: TIFU By trying to fix my phone myself
HollowPointBullet: This is why you look at tutorials.
IaAranaDiscoteca: I watched six and read 2. And they were all identical.
HollowPointBullet: I could only imagine how you managed to ruin your phone, lol.
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1399237726 | 1399293824 | t3_24pz7d | t5_2to41 | 752 | Billy_bills: TIFU by getting anally probed
This happened a couple weeks ago but didn't have time to write my fuck up. Not sure if I should be using a throwaway but fuck it, I doubt this will get much visibility and thought anyone that would read this would get a good laugh.
So a couple weeks ago I started noticing thi... | 6 | 125.333333 | |
1399238437 | 1399247786 | t3_24q0af | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing minecraft
No throwaway, I really am too sad to care. I am typing this from a friends phone in tears.
This all starts with some of my accounts being hacked, like my reddit account. Half of some stuff I didn't post or view. Let's go back further. My brothers computer got hacked. It is a brick ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1399244191 | 1399259564 | t3_24q8tj | t5_2to41 | 183 | HotelBravo: TIFU by quoting Elf
A few friends and I were eating lunch when my friend Zoe got up to leave for an appointment at the clinic. Because my friends and I are all dorks we constantly quote shit, so, as she left, I shout out in my best narwal voice ["Bye Zoe! Hope you find your dad!"](http://youtu.be/rBSlev7NMg... | 9 | 20.333333 | |
1399228506 | 1399325995 | t3_24pkw4 | t5_2to41 | 25 | pretenditdidnthppn: TIFU by not making sure my boyfriend's family was out of earshot before having sex
Firstly let me just say I am long time lurker, but a first time poster (I just made my account!)
So my boyfriend (19M) and I (18F) are in college, long distance (we go to different colleges but come from the same ho... | 5 | 5 | |
1399255560 | 1399333573 | t3_24qpf3 | t5_2to41 | 49 | SheZowRaisedByWolves: TIFU by eating IHOP
This shit happened saturday night at roughly 9:30 pm.
My friends and I go to the IHOP to indulge in the pancakes and breakfast. Everyone is talking about life and merriment as we eagerly waited for our food to arrive. Everyone got pancakes. I got chicken and waffles.
"Woul... | 3 | 16.333333 | |
1399260725 | 1399327910 | t3_24qwpp | t5_2to41 | 73 | silentbob_: TIFU by Smacking my Grandma in the Face
So it was my grandmother's birthday today, and since it was nice out, we decided to eat outside. During our meal, a small fly had landed on my plate. I waved it away, but it would keep coming back. This happend for about 5 minutes and I was becoming very annoyed. The ... | 5 | 14.6 | |
1399262093 | 1399982952 | t3_24qyjd | t5_2to41 | 65 | Laflamablanco1016: TIFU on a dating website
So I joined this free dating website called POF. Not a bad spread, but I have terrible game. I googled some conversation starters and found a nice little gem that would be sure to help me out. Anyway.. I copied and pasted the message to 20-25 girls and sat back and waited for... | 7 | 9.285714 | |
1399234026 | 1399397296 | t3_24ptcf | t5_2to41 | 25 | insaneInsult: TIFU by wetting my pants in the elevator, They have cameras.
I came home very very drunk at 4AM. I stumble out of the taxi and enter the lobby of my apartment complex, Stole exactly two thumbtacks from the bulletin board while facing the security camera and gesturing a very drunk [''I'm taking this''.](ht... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1399289395 | 1399347610 | t3_24rmkz | t5_2to41 | 2,018 | IThinkItsChocolate: TIFU by peeing on my boyfriend
Let me start by saying this never happened to me before. My boyfriend was down on me, and it obviously felt really good. Nothing felt different. All of the sudden I get this massive urge to sneeze, "Don't do it", I think to myself," Hold it in." But five seconds later,... | 14 | 144.142857 | |
1399295072 | 1399518301 | t3_24rscb | t5_2to41 | 470 | [deleted]: TIFU BY checking in my beer before my baby
I had bought a 12 pack of yuengling (bottles) on the way home from picking 6 month old up my MIL house yesterday. When I got home I was greeted at the door by my wife and proceeded set the beer in the counter and the baby still in its car seat on the floor. Some how... | 6 | 78.333333 | |
1399271185 | 1399572407 | t3_24r8kr | t5_2to41 | 29 | MyUnclesALawyer: TIFU by making a stupid joke to a customer.
I'm still cringing at this. So I work at a food store, we sell a variety of regular foods as well as health foods, supplements, etc. I've been working there for three years, so I certainly feel "in my zone" at work and I often joke around, sometimes with the ... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1399248030 | 1399350835 | t3_24qegc | t5_2to41 | 24 | 11equals7: TIFU by giving a drunk girl a ride in my friend's mom's car
of course, she puked all over the seat, handbrake, stick... 5 minutes before she would've been home.
her parents cleaned up most of it but the smell is still there. they offered to pay for professional cleaning, but my friend's mom apparently won'... | 3 | 8 | |
1399310751 | 1399344830 | t3_24sg8p | t5_2to41 | 117 | corbett656: TIFU by not thinking before I spoke.
I was in between classes at my campus, sitting with some fellow classmates. It was me, 3 guys, and 2 girls. Both of the girls were friends and one of them said, "She's my bestest friend in the whole wide world." Now, what you have to understand is that I had been up for ... | 14 | 8.357143 | |
1399315493 | 1399527364 | t3_24so6f | t5_2to41 | 42 | id10t_pen15: TIFU by forgetting to wear shoes....
I (M) normally drive with my shoes off and leave the shoes in the car. I cleaned out the car over the weekend. This morning on the way to work, didn't realize I needed the shoes in the car til I got to work. Commute is 1 hr. I am now at work in office with no shoes, I h... | 6 | 7 | |
1399318180 | 1399363407 | t3_24ssra | t5_2to41 | 53 | GreenEyedDemon: TIFU by breaking my hand from being mad at a video game.
A couple night ago I was playing Battlefield 3 with my roommate. It was conquest on Metro, max tickets. My team was pushed back to their spawn and being spawn killed relentlessly. My roommate got a good shot on me, laughed, and I hauled off and p... | 7 | 7.571429 | |
1399316623 | 1399330431 | t3_24sq1j | t5_2to41 | 37 | krq316: TIFU by opening the internet browser in my boss's office
This happened to my manager last week, but I was present for the whole thing.
So I work at a very small, laid back construction company. My boss is out of town on business and my office managers computer crashed. She went to work in my boss's office. You... | 5 | 7.4 | |
1399324453 | 1399341262 | t3_24t3jc | t5_2to41 | 15 | apfelmuss: Tifu by going back sleep
today is the last day of classes. i woke up with ample time to get ready, an yet i went back to bed. I just woke up and its 5pm. I slept 12 hours-- i don't need that much sleep. This needs to stop.
PM_me_yourkittens: Lesson learned- Don't go back to sleep!
apfelmuss: if only I did. ... | 3 | 5 | |
1399326211 | 1399392406 | t3_24t6mn | t5_2to41 | 9 | ookaminohane: TIFUby saying that alcoholics are quiters
So this past Sunday at about 5am, my roommates and I decided to IHOP. So we get there and the waiter, who has to basically be everyone at IHOP besides the cook sits us down and is really chill and making jokes with us. Asks us why we were there at 5am and etc. The... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1399335058 | 1399927953 | t3_24tkrc | t5_2to41 | 3,163 | hoorays4throwaways: TIFU by sucking my own dick
Let me get some things out of the way. I'm a straight male. I have been in a loving relationship for years and am perfectly fine with my life. I am posting this before I head out. Here we go:
So this morning, I woke up with the typical morning wood. I took my morning pis... | 14 | 225.928571 | |
1399338506 | 1399582803 | t3_24tq3n | t5_2to41 | 88 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my crush I was suicidal
Texting my crush, like normal. I have depression, and she was really curious about it and it got really annoying. Then she brought up the death of my best friend. I talked about how it still affects me and said sometimes it felt like death was a better option.
Fast fo... | 12 | 7.333333 | |
1399341882 | 1399494432 | t3_24tvg2 | t5_2to41 | 81 | HiddenCumdumpster: TIFU by dumping cum in a dumpster
Well reddit, I fucked up big time.
I had eaten one of those "garbage candies" that come in small, green trash cans, and later I decided, "Hey, I should cum in there." So, I did.
The next day, while I was off at school, my mom decided to clean my room. I walked in,... | 6 | 13.5 | |
1399344025 | 1399403320 | t3_24tysb | t5_2to41 | 36 | heyywazzupp: TIFU by forgetting about my chemistry final
My college general chemistry 1 exam was worth 30% of my final grade. Class only met on tuesday and thursday. I completely didn't realize that my chemistry exam was on a monday and not a tuesday. Now, the absolute maximum that I can get is a C.
Edit: I passed! I ... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1399346900 | 1399357196 | t3_24u2uy | t5_2to41 | 27 | sandman369: TIFU with pushups even though I knew better
I've been struggling with some mysterious health issue for months now. I've had blood tests, ECGs, holter monitor, echogram, chest x-ray, abdominal ultrasounds, upper GI scope, yet everything always "looks normal".
My complaints were mainly that after a heavy mea... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1399342206 | 1399437775 | t3_24tw0f | t5_2to41 | 19 | canipaybycheck: /r/TIFU Mod Applications
Applications are closed.
Hey /r/tifu! We're excited to be opening mod applications today. Please read the entire post before commenting.
A couple of quick points:
* This post will be in contest mode and **votes will be ignored**. Don't waste your time or effort downvoting oth... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1399352315 | 1399791892 | t3_24u9mq | t5_2to41 | 86 | jacobane94: TIFU by trying to lock my sister out of her phone
So I was trying to unlock my sister's phone and not even coming close. I figured it'd be funny to lock her out of the phone for however many minutes because hey siblings live to mess with each other. I failed the code ten times and sat back with a smug grin ... | 6 | 14.333333 | |
1399355132 | 1399592317 | t3_24uco1 | t5_2to41 | 147 | modot66: TIFU by juicing an entire bulb of garlic and drinking it
So, I've been sick and apparently garlic is supposed to be a healthy anti-oxidant and immune system booster.
"Great, I like garlic."
Google, Google, Google... Ok, juice one clove of garlic and one lemon then drink at least once a day.
"Sure, I can ... | 4 | 36.75 | |
1399351177 | 1399422103 | t3_24u8br | t5_2to41 | 17 | ThrowawayShame1995: TIFU by almost having sex with a 15 year old guy friend
Preface so it's not as weird:
I'm a an 18 year old girl, but I look about 15 or 16. I often hang out with teenagers who are 16 or 17, but not people who are this young. I met my guy friend under kind of odd circumstances at a slam poetry cont... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1399353477 | 1399394705 | t3_24ub03 | t5_2to41 | 317 | ShitBombThrowaway: TIFU by detonating a shit bomb during a final.
I'm using a throwaway because I know some friends know my real account, and I will never admit or accept the fact that this happened to me.
I'll start this off at Sunday night around 6:00 PM. I'm at my Aunt's house for dinner. It's a known fact in our f... | 5 | 63.4 | |
1399342692 | 1399447604 | t3_24twrs | t5_2to41 | 25 | Oradi: TIFU by only lightly heeding reddits warning about hot peppers
Went out and bought some habanero and jalapeno peppers. Cut them up washed my hands and figured I'd go take a shower. Before i hopped in I took a leak but didn't touch my junk just in case. Got in the shower, washed my hands real good for another 2 m... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1399353792 | 1399975157 | t3_24ubbr | t5_2to41 | 50 | youtimestwo: TIFU by outing a coworker for sending me naked pictures
So I just started working in an office with a bunch of people I graduated with and we were having a big group training. There's a girl I've been flirting with for a while and while we still haven't gotten physical (she has a bf), there have been some.... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1399360739 | 1399487837 | t3_24uhvd | t5_2to41 | 484 | bobs_throwaway_: TIFU my life by having one night stands.
About 18 months ago, broke up with the love of my life (only I didn't realize it then).
Since then, getting laid was my priority. Being an overly-confident, 24 year old, 8/10 guy (who has the gift of one-liners) makes it pretty easy to pick up drunk girls. Ha... | 8 | 60.5 | |
1399373842 | 1399413436 | t3_24urrq | t5_2to41 | 9 | LosiToay: TIFU by crying over an exam in front of the guy I'm sleeping with
He has issues with social anxiety and wasn't in a good mood to start with. I don't think i'm getting laid for a while.
[deleted]: well its his loss if he cant handle you at an emotional low. Just because he's in a shitty mood doesnt mean you sh... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1399396335 | 1399495712 | t3_24vm43 | t5_2to41 | 51 | CoolYo: TIFU by clicking on a nsfw subreddit while on my work Wi-Fi
On my phone using Reddit is Fun, logged in with my own credentials after connecting to my work Wi-Fi. I totally forgot to log out. Seeing as I work in an IT department, I'm assuming it's easy to look up browsing histories especially if magic words like... | 7 | 7.285714 | |
1399391025 | 1399441050 | t3_24vd9h | t5_2to41 | 5 | Ghost17088: TIFU by entering the wrong amount for CF-0 and possibly failing finance my final costing me my 4.0 that I have had for the last 3 years of college.
So I was going into this exam well prepared and feeling really good about it. The exam was super easy, finished it and was feeling pretty good. Then, I talked t... | 5 | 1 | |
1399401586 | 1399471400 | t3_24vv8m | t5_2to41 | 1,313 | bobcatbro: TIFU by falling asleep in class
Not today but two weeks ago today, just took the final so fuck it right? I never knew i was into S&M, but hey, I made the decision to take an 8am class right? Wake up late, throw on boxers, basketball shorts and a t shirt, get to class late. I'm sitting in class learning... | 9 | 145.888889 | |
1399416975 | 1399467544 | t3_24wl04 | t5_2to41 | 109 | pepperamerica: TIFU by trying to be charming.
Using a throwaway just because of the cringe involved on my part in this story.
Anyway, it wasn't today, it was a few months back when I first moved to New York. The first few days were raining so I decided fuck it, I'm not going to sit around moping, I'm gonna try get som... | 8 | 13.625 | |
1399426957 | 1399504032 | t3_24wzr8 | t5_2to41 | 95 | embarassmenttt: TIFU by peeing in the bed of the guy I really liked [UPDATE]
[Original Post](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/24msjf/tifu_by_peeing_in_the_bed_of_the_guy_i_really/)
Update: guy was not okay with it (yeah, I get it). Told me not to worry about it, I texted him, no response.
BUT! I met another awes... | 7 | 13.571429 | |
1399430150 | 1399461870 | t3_24x4kh | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by spinning in the hallway
So I was spinning around the corner of a hallway in my school. I have been working on this relationship wittlh my crush that I need to make work. If you haven't guessed by now, she was right there, looking at me execute my 270° corner spin. The incident passes without any cons... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1399409093 | 1399438017 | t3_24w7zv | t5_2to41 | 53 | mckeefner: TIFU by not reading everything
Not today, but my freshman year of college. I finally decided to leave myspace and make a facebook. Cool. New college, new me....to say the least.
I got back from my first day of "big boy" classes and was feeling pretty smart so I decided I could wiz through all of the fac... | 3 | 17.666667 |
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