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Please, get the hell out of here. | I know I'm your hero. |
I didn't think they even enforced this. | Living proof. |
Living proof. | I thought you never sold cigarettes to kids. |
I thought you never sold cigarettes to kids. | I don't; you did. |
I don't; you did. | Really? |
Really? | Little girl. Maybe five years old? |
Little girl. Maybe five years old? | Holy shit. That girl? |
Holy shit. That girl? | As opposed to the hundreds of other children you let buy cigarettes whenever you work here. |
As opposed to the hundreds of other children you let buy cigarettes whenever you work here. | Then how come you got the fine? |
Then how come you got the fine? | Because I'm here. |
Because I'm here. | You're lying. |
You're lying. | I swear. I couldn't make this kind of hell up. |
I swear. I couldn't make this kind of hell up. | Then why aren't you like screaming at me right now? |
Then why aren't you like screaming at me right now? | Because I'm happy. |
Because I'm happy. | You're happy? |
You're happy? | I'm happy. |
I'm happy. | You're happy to get a fine? |
You're happy to get a fine? | No. I'm happy because Caitlin came to see me. |
No. I'm happy because Caitlin came to see me. | Now I know you're lying. |
Now I know you're lying. | I'm not. She just left. |
I'm not. She just left. | What did she say? |
What did she say? | She's not going to marry that guy. She went home to tell her mother. |
She's not going to marry that guy. She went home to tell her mother. | You're kidding. |
You're kidding. | I'm not. |
I'm not. | Wow. You've had quite an evening. |
Wow. You've had quite an evening. | She went home, she's getting ready, and we're going out. |
She went home, she's getting ready, and we're going out. | I feel so ineffectual. Is there anything I can do for you? |
I feel so ineffectual. Is there anything I can do for you? | Watch the store while I go home and change. |
Watch the store while I go home and change. | What happened to title dictates behavior? |
What happened to title dictates behavior? | This is my way of spitting water at life. |
This is my way of spitting water at life. | Hey, what about Veronica? |
Hey, what about Veronica? | No! Don't bring it up. I don't want to think about that now. Let me enjoy this hour of bliss. I'll think about all of that later. In the meantime, nobody mentions the V word. |
No! Don't bring it up. I don't want to think about that now. Let me enjoy this hour of bliss. I'll think about all of that later. In the meantime, nobody mentions the V word. | You're a snake. |
You're a snake. | In my absence, try not to sell cigarettes to any newborns. |
In my absence, try not to sell cigarettes to any newborns. | You want me to bring the VCR over here so we can watch this? |
You want me to bring the VCR over here so we can watch this? | I might be leaving early to go out with Caitlin, in which case you'll have to close the store tonight. |
I might be leaving early to go out with Caitlin, in which case you'll have to close the store tonight. | All right, but you're missing out. Chicks with dicks. |
All right, but you're missing out. Chicks with dicks. | I'll read the book. |
Who eats cock? | Bunch of savages in this town. Hey, Caitlin's in the back. You might want to see if she's okay; she's been back there a long time. |
Bunch of savages in this town. Hey, Caitlin's in the back. You might want to see if she's okay; she's been back there a long time. | There's no lights back there. |
There's no lights back there. | I told her that. She said she didn't need any. Why don't you join her, man. Make a little bathroom bam-bam. |
I told her that. She said she didn't need any. Why don't you join her, man. Make a little bathroom bam-bam. | I love your sexy talk. It's so... kindergarten: Poo-poo; wee-wee. |
I love your sexy talk. It's so... kindergarten: Poo-poo; wee-wee. | Fuck you. |
You just fucked a total stranger? | Shut the fuck up! |
That's all bullshit. You know what the real problem here is? | I was born. |
You didn't have to choke me. | Why the fuck did you tell Veronica that I was going to dump her for Caitlin? |
Why the fuck did you tell Veronica that I was going to dump her for Caitlin? | I thought I was doing you a favor. |
I thought I was doing you a favor. | Thanks. |
Thanks. | You were saying how you couldn't initiate change yourself, so I figured I'd help you out. |
You were saying how you couldn't initiate change yourself, so I figured I'd help you out. | Jesus. |
You still didn't have to choke me. | Oh please! I'm surprised I didn't kill you. |
Oh please! I'm surprised I didn't kill you. | Why do you say that? |
Why do you say that? | Why do I say that? Randal... forget it. |
Why do I say that? Randal... forget it. | No, really. What did I do that was so wrong? |
No, really. What did I do that was so wrong? | What don't you do? Randal, sometimes it seems like the only reason you come to work is to make my life miserable. |
What don't you do? Randal, sometimes it seems like the only reason you come to work is to make my life miserable. | How do you figure? |
How do you figure? | What time did you get to work today? |
What time did you get to work today? | Like ten after. |
Like ten after. | You were over half an hour late. Then all you do is come over here. |
You were over half an hour late. Then all you do is come over here. | To talk to you. |
To talk to you. | Which means the video store is ostensibly closed. |
Which means the video store is ostensibly closed. | It's not like I'm miles away. |
It's not like I'm miles away. | Unless you're out renting videos at other video stores. |
Unless you're out renting videos at other video stores. | Hermaphrodites! I rented it so we could watch it together! |
Hermaphrodites! I rented it so we could watch it together! | You get my slapped with a fine, you fight with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us chased out of a funeral by violating a corpse. To top it all off, you ruin my relationship. What's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? You know what the real tragedy is? ... |
You get my slapped with a fine, you fight with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us chased out of a funeral by violating a corpse. To top it all off, you ruin my relationship. What's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? You know what the real tragedy is? ... | Fuck you. Fuck you, pal. Listen to you trying to pass the buck again. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to attend a wake? Who tried to win back an ex- girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody, blame yourself.... |
Do you work tomorrow? | Same time. What about you? |
Same time. What about you? | I'm calling out. Going to hit the hospital-see how Caitlin is. Then try to see Veronica. |
I'm calling out. Going to hit the hospital-see how Caitlin is. Then try to see Veronica. | You wanna grab something to eat tomorrow night... after I get out of here? |
You wanna grab something to eat tomorrow night... after I get out of here? | I'll call you. Let you know. |
I'll call you. Let you know. | All right. Good luck with Veronica. If you want, I can talk to her, you know, and explain... |
All right. Good luck with Veronica. If you want, I can talk to her, you know, and explain... | No thanks. I'll take care of it. We've got a lot of shit to talk about. |
No thanks. I'll take care of it. We've got a lot of shit to talk about. | Helluva day. |
Helluva day. | To say the least. |
To say the least. | Do you need a hug or something? 'Cause I would have no hang-ups about hugging you... you know, you being a guy and all. Just don't knead my ass when you do it. |
Do you need a hug or something? 'Cause I would have no hang-ups about hugging you... you know, you being a guy and all. Just don't knead my ass when you do it. | Get the fuck outta here already. |
Get the fuck outta here already. | I'm gone. I'll talk to you tomorrow. |
Sounds to me like somebody needs to hit the gym. | Excuse me? |
Excuse me? | I heard you strain when you put the milk in the bag. That milk only weighs about seven pounds. |
I heard you strain when you put the milk in the bag. That milk only weighs about seven pounds. | I didn't strain. I sighed. |
I didn't strain. I sighed. | I don't think so. That was a grunt; a deep inhalation of oxygen to aid in the stretching of muscles. I'm a trainer. I know what that sound signifies: you're out of shape. |
I don't think so. That was a grunt; a deep inhalation of oxygen to aid in the stretching of muscles. I'm a trainer. I know what that sound signifies: you're out of shape. | I don't think so. |
I don't think so. | Oh, I do. You made the same noise when you reached across the counter for my cash. Your muscles are thin and sadly underutilized. |
Oh, I do. You made the same noise when you reached across the counter for my cash. Your muscles are thin and sadly underutilized. | They are not. |
They are not. | Yes, they are. You're out of shape. |
Yes, they are. You're out of shape. | What are you talking about? There's no fat on this body. |
What are you talking about? There's no fat on this body. | No fat, but no tone either. You don't get enough exercise. |
What? When? When did all this shit happen? | Hey man, that was a long time ago. Don't let it get to you. |
Are there any balls down there?! | 'Bout the biggest pair you ever seen! NYNNE!! |
Go open the video store. | Yeah, you cock-smoking clerk. |
Yeah, you cock-smoking clerk. | How many times I gotta tell you not to deal outside the store. |
How many times I gotta tell you not to deal outside the store. | I'm not dealing. |
I work, just like you. You're more of a crook than I am, dude. | How do you figure... HEY! You can't roll a joint in here! |
How do you figure... HEY! You can't roll a joint in here! | Relax brother. What I mean is that you sell the stuff in this store at the highest prices around. A dollar seventy-nine for wraps-what's that shit? |
Relax brother. What I mean is that you sell the stuff in this store at the highest prices around. A dollar seventy-nine for wraps-what's that shit? | It's not my store. |
It's not my store. | And these aren't my drugs-I just sell them. |
And these aren't my drugs-I just sell them. | The difference is you exploit a weakness. |
The difference is you exploit a weakness. | What's that mean? |
What's that mean? | You sell to people that can't stay away from an addiction. |
You sell to people that can't stay away from an addiction. | All right. How much is Pepsi here? |
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