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All right. How much is Pepsi here? | A dollar sixty-nine, plus tax. |
A dollar sixty-nine, plus tax. | At Food City it's ninety-nine cents, plus tax. |
At Food City it's ninety-nine cents, plus tax. | So. |
So. | So why do you sell it for so much more? I'll tell you why-because people come here and they're like "A dollar eighty for soda? I should get it at Food City. But I don't feel like driving there. I'll just buy it here so I don't have to drive up there." That's exploiting a weakness, too, isn't it? |
So why do you sell it for so much more? I'll tell you why-because people come here and they're like "A dollar eighty for soda? I should get it at Food City. But I don't feel like driving there. I'll just buy it here so I don't have to drive up there." That's exploiting a weakness, too, isn't it? | I can't believe you just rolled a joint in here. |
I can't believe you just rolled a joint in here. | Hey, man, what happened with that old guy? |
Hey, man, what happened with that old guy? | He died in the bathroom. |
He died in the bathroom. | That's fucked up. Yo, I heard he was jerkin' off. |
That's fucked up. Yo, I heard he was jerkin' off. | I don't know. I wasn't watching. |
I don't know. I wasn't watching. | Probably saw that Caitlin chick. I know I felt like beatin' it when I saw her. Come here, bitch! You like this? Is this what you want? Hunhh? |
Probably saw that Caitlin chick. I know I felt like beatin' it when I saw her. Come here, bitch! You like this? Is this what you want? Hunhh? | Knock it off. That used to be my girlfriend. |
Knock it off. That used to be my girlfriend. | You used to go out with her? |
You used to go out with her? | We were going to start again, I think. |
We were going to start again, I think. | Don't you already have a girlfriend? |
Don't you already have a girlfriend? | Veronica. |
Veronica. | Is she that girl who's down here all the time? She came here today carrying a plate of food. |
Is she that girl who's down here all the time? She came here today carrying a plate of food. | Lasagne. |
Lasagne. | And what-you were gonna dump her to date that Caitlin chick? |
And what-you were gonna dump her to date that Caitlin chick? | Maybe. |
Maybe. | I don't know dude. That Caitlin chick's nice. But I see that Veronica girl doing shit for you all the time. She brings you food, she rubs your back... Didn't I see her change your tire one day? |
I don't know dude. That Caitlin chick's nice. But I see that Veronica girl doing shit for you all the time. She brings you food, she rubs your back... Didn't I see her change your tire one day? | I jacked the car up. All she did was loosen the nuts and put the tire on. |
I jacked the car up. All she did was loosen the nuts and put the tire on. | Damn. She sure goes out of her way. |
Damn. She sure goes out of her way. | She's my girlfriend. |
She's my girlfriend. | I've had girlfriends, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit. Shit, my grandma used to say, "Which is better: a good plate with nothing on it..." No, wait. I fucked up. She said "What's a good-looking plate with nothing on it?" |
I've had girlfriends, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit. Shit, my grandma used to say, "Which is better: a good plate with nothing on it..." No, wait. I fucked up. She said "What's a good-looking plate with nothing on it?" | Meaning? |
Meaning? | I don't know. She was senile and shit. Used to piss herself all the time. C'mon Silent Bob. |
And he got cancer by chewing fluorescent bulb glass...? | No, he got hit by a bus. |
No, he got hit by a bus. | Oh... Can I help you? |
Oh... Can I help you? | Well, that depends. Do you have a bathroom? |
Well, that depends. Do you have a bathroom? | Um... yeah, but it's for employees only. |
Um... yeah, but it's for employees only. | I understand, but can I use it. I'm not that young anymore, so I'm kind of... you know... incontinent. |
I understand, but can I use it. I'm not that young anymore, so I'm kind of... you know... incontinent. | Uh... sure. Go ahead. It's back through the cooler. |
Uh... sure. Go ahead. It's back through the cooler. | Thanks son. Say-what kind of toilet paper you got back there? |
Thanks son. Say-what kind of toilet paper you got back there? | The white kind. |
The white kind. | I'm not asking about the color. I mean is it rough or cottony? |
I'm not asking about the color. I mean is it rough or cottony? | Actually, it is kind of rough. |
Actually, it is kind of rough. | Rough, eh? Oh, that stuff rips hell out of my hemorrhoids. Say, would you mind if I took a roll of the soft stuff back there. I see you sell the soft stuff. |
Rough, eh? Oh, that stuff rips hell out of my hemorrhoids. Say, would you mind if I took a roll of the soft stuff back there. I see you sell the soft stuff. | Yeah, but... |
Yeah, but... | Aw, c'mon boy. What's the difference? You said yourself the stuff that's there now is rough. |
Aw, c'mon boy. What's the difference? You said yourself the stuff that's there now is rough. | Yeah, okay. Go ahead. |
Yeah, okay. Go ahead. | Thanks son, you're a lifesaver. |
All right, stupid question. But don't you think you're taking this a bit too hard? | Too hard?! I don't have enough indignities in my life-people start throwing cigarettes at me! |
Too hard?! I don't have enough indignities in my life-people start throwing cigarettes at me! | At least they weren't lit. |
At least they weren't lit. | I hate this fucking place. |
I hate this fucking place. | Then quit. You should be going to school anyway... |
Then quit. You should be going to school anyway... | Please, Veronica. Last thing I need is a lecture at this point. |
Please, Veronica. Last thing I need is a lecture at this point. | All I'm saying is that if you're unhappy you should leave. |
All I'm saying is that if you're unhappy you should leave. | I'm not even supposed to be here today! |
I'm not even supposed to be here today! | I know. I stopped by your house and your mom said you left at like six or something. |
I know. I stopped by your house and your mom said you left at like six or something. | The guy got sick and couldn't come in. |
The guy got sick and couldn't come in. | Don't you have a hockey game at two? |
Don't you have a hockey game at two? | Yes! And I'm going to play like shit because I didn't get a good night's sleep! |
Yes! And I'm going to play like shit because I didn't get a good night's sleep! | Why did you agree to come in then? |
Why did you agree to come in then? | I'm only here until twelve, then I'm gone. The boss is coming in. |
I'm only here until twelve, then I'm gone. The boss is coming in. | Why don't you open the shutters and get some sunlight in here? |
Why don't you open the shutters and get some sunlight in here? | Somebody jammed the locks with gum. |
Somebody jammed the locks with gum. | You're kidding. |
You're kidding. | Bunch of savages in this town. |
Bunch of savages in this town. | You look bushed. What time did you get to bed? |
You look bushed. What time did you get to bed? | I don't know-like two-thirty, three. |
I don't know-like two-thirty, three. | What were you doing up so late? |
What were you doing up so late? | Hunhh? Nothing. |
Hunhh? Nothing. | What were you doing? |
What were you doing? | Nothing! Jesus! I gotta fight with you now? |
Nothing! Jesus! I gotta fight with you now? | Who's fighting? Why are you so defensive? |
Who's fighting? Why are you so defensive? | Who's defensive? Just... Would you just hug me?! All right? Your boyfriend was accosted by an angry mob, and he needs to be hugged. |
How much money did you leave up there? | Like three dollars in mixed change and a couple of singles. People only get the paper of coffee this time of morning. |
Like three dollars in mixed change and a couple of singles. People only get the paper of coffee this time of morning. | You're trusting. |
You're trusting. | Why do you say that? |
Why do you say that? | How do you know they're taking the right amount of change? Or even paying for what they take? |
How do you know they're taking the right amount of change? Or even paying for what they take? | Theoretically, people see money on the counter and nobody around, they think they're being watched. |
Theoretically, people see money on the counter and nobody around, they think they're being watched. | Honesty through paranoia. Why do you smell like shoe polish? |
Honesty through paranoia. Why do you smell like shoe polish? | I had to use shoe polish to make that sign. The smell won't come off. |
I had to use shoe polish to make that sign. The smell won't come off. | Do you think anyone can see us down here? |
Do you think anyone can see us down here? | Why? You wanna have sex or something? |
Why? You wanna have sex or something? | Ooh! Can we?! |
Ooh! Can we?! | Really? |
Really? | I was kidding. |
I was kidding. | Yeah, right. You can't get enough of me. |
Yeah, right. You can't get enough of me. | Typically male point of view. |
Typically male point of view. | How do you figure? |
How do you figure? | You show some bedroom proficiency, and you think you're gods. What about what we do for you? |
You show some bedroom proficiency, and you think you're gods. What about what we do for you? | Women? Women, as lovers, are all basically the same: they just have to be there. |
Women? Women, as lovers, are all basically the same: they just have to be there. | "Be there?" |
"Be there?" | Making a male climax is not all that challenging: insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat. |
Making a male climax is not all that challenging: insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat. | How flattering. |
How flattering. | Now, making a woman cum... therein lies a challenge. |
Now, making a woman cum... therein lies a challenge. | Oh, you think so? |
Oh, you think so? | A girl makes a guy cum, it's standard. A guy makes a girl cum, it's talent. |
A girl makes a guy cum, it's standard. A guy makes a girl cum, it's talent. | And I actually date you? |
And I actually date you? | Something wrong? |
Something wrong? | I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it takes more than that to get a guy off. Just "being there"-as you put it-is not enough. |
I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it takes more than that to get a guy off. Just "being there"-as you put it-is not enough. | I touched a nerve. |
I touched a nerve. | I'm astonished to hear you trivialize my role in our sex life. |
I'm astonished to hear you trivialize my role in our sex life. | It wasn't directed at you. I was making a broad generalization. |
It wasn't directed at you. I was making a broad generalization. | You were making a generalization about "broads!" |
You were making a generalization about "broads!" | These are my opinions based on my experiences with the few women who were good enough to sleep with me. |
These are my opinions based on my experiences with the few women who were good enough to sleep with me. | How many? |
How many? | How many what? |
How many what? | How many girls have you slept with? |
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