Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
7,700	30	Morty	: What? How?
7,701	30	Jerry	: Can I just, uh, tell her it’s because of my kids? You know, like, you don’t like the shape of her head, or
7,702	30	Summer	: -- That’s you, Dad! That’s you! You’re a baby and an idiot!
7,703	30	Jerry	: I think that’s been established, Summer. Now help me!
7,704	30	Summer	: First, I want you to admit that you’re a closet racist, a beta-male sexist, and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation by only thinking of yourself.
7,705	30	Jerry	: Okay.
7,706	30	Summer	: I want to hear you say it.
7,707	30	Jerry	: [ Sighs deeply ] Look, I’m a closeted racist, and I’m sexist and selfish, and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things because I’m stupid.
7,708	30	Summer	: Thank you.
7,709	30	Jerry	: Now you’re gonna help me, right?
7,710	30	Morty	: She just did.
7,711	30	Summer	: Yeah, clean up your own mess.
7,712	30	Jerry	: Wait, wait, what? Oh, man.
7,713	30	Tommy	:All right, everybody. Next item on the docket -- I would like to have sex with some of you, and then eat the babies. [ Froopys murmuring ] I thought you’d like that. I do keep rolling out the hits, don’t I? [ Bang beth slams door open ] Oh! It’s the Magic Crayon Lady! Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner. And by "make dinner," I mean
7,714	30	Beth	: -- Tommy, I’m going to take you to the real world.
7,715	30	Tommy	: Well, this is the real world.
7,716	30	Beth	: No, you don’t understand! Your dad -- Uh, people think your dad ate you!
7,717	30	Tommy	: So? You doy-oy! People should eat people. Just leave me alone!
7,718	30	Beth	: Tommy, you don’t understand. I have to make this right because it’s my fault that you’re in here. I’m Beth.
7,719	30	Tommy	: -Beth? -The destroyer!
7,720	30	Beth	: Oh, suck it up, Princess Incest. You fell into some honey.
7,721	30	Tommy	: Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey.
7,722	30	Beth	: I respect your right to believe I pushed you.
7,723	30	Tommy	: Oh, do I get to have that? Is my reality like a little side of fries -- a little Kwanzaa you’re willing to slide my way?
7,724	30	Beth	: Yes, because I’m focused on saving your father’s life because I’m not a petty piece of [bleep]
7,725	30	Tommy	: So, then, it should be pretty easy to say, "Sorry I pushed you."
7,726	30	Beth	: Real easy and not necessary, since you coming home will save your dad’s life whereas nothing is changed by anyone stroking your batshit-crazy ego.
7,727	30	Tommy	: Sorry, forgive me. Uh, I’ve been in Froopyland for quite a while. Have apologies changed?
7,728	30	Beth	: Tommy, I’m sorry you think you deserve an apology. Oh, my God. I’m my father.
7,729	30	Tommy	: Uh, will someone just kill this B-word?
7,730	30	Beth	: [ Grunts ] Hi-ya! Oh, my God. I’m my father! Ya! Ooh!
7,731	30	Pink Sentient Switchblade	:It’s stab time!
7,732	30	Froopies	: Ooh!
7,733	30	Math Teacher	: And that’s why one pussy plus two pussies makes a bunch of pussies. Come on, y’all, I’m trying to make this appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles.
7,734	30	Jerry	: Hi, I need to pull Morty out of school. Come on, Morty.
7,735	30	Bully	: Ha! You heard your daddy, Morty. you have to leave school. Wait, what are my values?
7,736	30	Summer	: Dad, what’s going on?
7,737	30	Jerry	: We’re going to Alaska.
7,738	30	Morty	: What? Why?
7,739	30	Jerry	: It’s nice there. Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn’t take it well, and she wants to murder you two.
7,740	30	Morty	: What? Th-Then why are we walking?
7,741	30	Jerry	:I’m walking because I’m tired. You guys should definitely run.
7,742	30	Kiara	: [ Screams, Thud ] Excuse me, I just -- You know what? I’m -- I’m just gonna go left. No, okay, your left, that’s fine. Do you know what left is, ‘cause -- Ugh!
7,743	30	Morty	: What does your breakup have to do with us? [ Engine starts ]
7,744	30	Summer	: Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook.
7,745	30	Jerry	: [ Crash, Tires squeal ] She kind of blames you guys for the breakup.
7,746	30	Summer	: -Why?
7,747	30	Morty	:-Why?
7,748	30	Jerry	: Because I told her it was your fault.
7,749	30	Summer	: -What?!
7,750	30	Morty	:-What?!
7,751	30	Jerry	: Look, I’m not an evil person. I’m just not very imaginative! [ Warbling, Grunts, Metal twisting ] Oh! [ All scream ]
7,752	30	Rick	:Doo-doo butt Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt No. [ Jingling ] Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt
7,753	30	Beth	: Hey.
7,754	30	Rick	: Hey.
7,755	30	Beth	: Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, if you were gonna make a clone of Tommy, what would you need to get started?
7,756	30	Rick	: I don’t kn-- Tommy’s DNA?
7,757	30	Beth	: Okay, ‘cause he, um Yeah, he didn’t want to come back, so, um, he gave me this.
7,758	30	Rick	: He gave you his finger?
7,759	30	Beth	: Uh, well, what happened is
7,760	30	Rick	: -- It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.
7,761	30	Beth	: Okay.
7,762	30	Rick	: This’ll take about three hours.
7,763	30	Beth	: Okay.
7,764	30	Rick	: Hey. You want to help?
7,765	30	Beth	: Okay.
7,766	30	Beth	: I am wiped out. I guess I’ll turn in.
7,767	30	Rick	: Cool.
7,768	30	Beth	: Dad? I feel like I’ve spent my life pretending you’re a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been
7,769	30	Rick	: -- That I’m not that great a guy and you’re exactly like me.
7,770	30	Beth	: Am I evil?
7,771	30	Rick	: Worse. You’re smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I’ve never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, not unlike your friend Timmy.
7,772	30	Beth	: Tommy.
7,773	30	Rick	: Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it’ll never stop trying to throw you. And, eventually, it will. There’s no other way off.
7,774	30	Beth	: Dad, I’m out of excuses to not be who I am. So who am I? What do I do?
7,775	30	Rick	: My advice -- Take off. Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out.
7,776	30	Beth	: I can’t do that. The kids, Jerry, my job, and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC’s "The Bachelor."
7,777	30	Rick	: I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, with all your memories. An exact copy in every way. It’ll love and provide for the kids, do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV on the same allegedly ironic level as you. You could be gone a day, a week, or the rest of your life with zero consequences. The moment you decide to come back, I flip a switch, and the clone’s job is done. It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner."
7,778	30	Beth	: If nothing matters, why would you do that for me?
7,779	30	Rick	: I don’t know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. Or maybe it makes you matter. Maybe I love you. Maybe something about your mother. Don’t jump a gift shark in the mouth.
7,780	30	Beth	: I don’t know if I can do it.
7,781	30	Rick	: Then stay, and luxuriate in a life you can finally know you’ve chosen. My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you’re finally gonna chill the [bleep] out.
7,782	30	Beth	: Okay. I know what I want to do.
7,783	30	Kiara	: [ Whoosh ] Aah! [ Thud ] Ow! You can’t run forever!
7,784	30	Summer	: She’s really pissed off.
7,785	30	Jerry	: I know. It’s kinda hot.
7,786	30	Summer	: Shut up!
7,787	30	Varrix	: The hunters! They’re back! Run!
7,788	30	Morty	: -We’re not hunters.
7,789	30	Summer	: -We want to hide with you.
7,790	30	Varrix	: We’re not hiding. We’re nesting.
7,791	30	Morty	: Ooh la la.
7,792	30	Kiara	: [ All scream ] The children must be destroyed so that we can be together.
7,793	30	Summer	: You need to break up with her, Dad -- properly! [ Whoosh ] God damn it, Dad! [ Grunts ] Dump her!
7,794	30	Jerry	: Okay, okay. Kiara, let’s just run away.
7,795	30	Summer	: -Dad!
7,796	30	Morty	:-Come on!
7,797	30	Summer	: Just rip the Band-Aid off!
7,798	30	Jerry	: Okay! Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it’s me. I’m the one who wants to break up. I -- I’m not an evil person. I’m lazy, I’m cowardly, and -- and I do not know what I’m doing. Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. We’re getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. I was excited to date someone cool because it would make my ex notice me.
7,799	30	Kiara	: I would expect nothing less from humanity -- a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that

7,700

30

Morty

: What? How?

7,701

30

Jerry

: Can I just, uh, tell her it’s because of my kids? You know, like, you don’t like the shape of her head, or

7,702

30

Summer

: -- That’s you, Dad! That’s you! You’re a baby and an idiot!

7,703

30

Jerry

: I think that’s been established, Summer. Now help me!

7,704

30

Summer

: First, I want you to admit that you’re a closet racist, a beta-male sexist, and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation by only thinking of yourself.

7,705

30

Jerry

: Okay.

7,706

30

Summer

: I want to hear you say it.

7,707

30

Jerry

: [ Sighs deeply ] Look, I’m a closeted racist, and I’m sexist and selfish, and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things because I’m stupid.

7,708

30

Summer

: Thank you.

7,709

30

Jerry

: Now you’re gonna help me, right?

7,710

30

Morty

: She just did.

7,711

30

Summer

: Yeah, clean up your own mess.

7,712

30

Jerry

: Wait, wait, what? Oh, man.

7,713

30

Tommy

:All right, everybody. Next item on the docket -- I would like to have sex with some of you, and then eat the babies. [ Froopys murmuring ] I thought you’d like that. I do keep rolling out the hits, don’t I? [ Bang beth slams door open ] Oh! It’s the Magic Crayon Lady! Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner. And by "make dinner," I mean

7,714

30

Beth

: -- Tommy, I’m going to take you to the real world.

7,715

30

Tommy

: Well, this is the real world.

7,716

30

Beth

: No, you don’t understand! Your dad -- Uh, people think your dad ate you!

7,717

30

Tommy

: So? You doy-oy! People should eat people. Just leave me alone!

7,718

30

Beth

: Tommy, you don’t understand. I have to make this right because it’s my fault that you’re in here. I’m Beth.

7,719

30

Tommy

: -Beth? -The destroyer!

7,720

30

Beth

: Oh, suck it up, Princess Incest. You fell into some honey.

7,721

30

Tommy

: Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey.

7,722

30

Beth

: I respect your right to believe I pushed you.

7,723

30

Tommy

: Oh, do I get to have that? Is my reality like a little side of fries -- a little Kwanzaa you’re willing to slide my way?

7,724

30

Beth

: Yes, because I’m focused on saving your father’s life because I’m not a petty piece of [bleep]

7,725

30

Tommy

: So, then, it should be pretty easy to say, "Sorry I pushed you."

7,726

30

Beth

: Real easy and not necessary, since you coming home will save your dad’s life whereas nothing is changed by anyone stroking your batshit-crazy ego.

7,727

30

Tommy

: Sorry, forgive me. Uh, I’ve been in Froopyland for quite a while. Have apologies changed?

7,728

30

Beth

: Tommy, I’m sorry you think you deserve an apology. Oh, my God. I’m my father.

7,729

30

Tommy

: Uh, will someone just kill this B-word?

7,730

30

Beth

: [ Grunts ] Hi-ya! Oh, my God. I’m my father! Ya! Ooh!

7,731

30

Pink Sentient Switchblade

:It’s stab time!

7,732

30

Froopies

: Ooh!

7,733

30

Math Teacher

: And that’s why one pussy plus two pussies makes a bunch of pussies. Come on, y’all, I’m trying to make this appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles.

7,734

30

Jerry

: Hi, I need to pull Morty out of school. Come on, Morty.

7,735

30

Bully

: Ha! You heard your daddy, Morty. you have to leave school. Wait, what are my values?

7,736

30

Summer

: Dad, what’s going on?

7,737

30

Jerry

: We’re going to Alaska.

7,738

30

Morty

: What? Why?

7,739

30

Jerry

: It’s nice there. Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn’t take it well, and she wants to murder you two.

7,740

30

Morty

: What? Th-Then why are we walking?

7,741

30

Jerry

:I’m walking because I’m tired. You guys should definitely run.

7,742

30

Kiara

: [ Screams, Thud ] Excuse me, I just -- You know what? I’m -- I’m just gonna go left. No, okay, your left, that’s fine. Do you know what left is, ‘cause -- Ugh!

7,743

30

Morty

: What does your breakup have to do with us? [ Engine starts ]

7,744

30

Summer

: Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook.

7,745

30

Jerry

: [ Crash, Tires squeal ] She kind of blames you guys for the breakup.

7,746

30

Summer

: -Why?

7,747

30

Morty

:-Why?

7,748

30

Jerry

: Because I told her it was your fault.

7,749

30

Summer

: -What?!

7,750

30

Morty

:-What?!

7,751

30

Jerry

: Look, I’m not an evil person. I’m just not very imaginative! [ Warbling, Grunts, Metal twisting ] Oh! [ All scream ]

7,752

30

Rick

:Doo-doo butt Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt No. [ Jingling ] Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt

7,753

30

Beth

: Hey.

7,754

30

Rick

: Hey.

7,755

30

Beth

: Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, if you were gonna make a clone of Tommy, what would you need to get started?

7,756

30

Rick

: I don’t kn-- Tommy’s DNA?

7,757

30

Beth

: Okay, ‘cause he, um Yeah, he didn’t want to come back, so, um, he gave me this.

7,758

30

Rick

: He gave you his finger?

7,759

30

Beth

: Uh, well, what happened is

7,760

30

Rick

: -- It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.

7,761

30

Beth

: Okay.

7,762

30

Rick

: This’ll take about three hours.

7,763

30

Beth

: Okay.

7,764

30

Rick

: Hey. You want to help?

7,765

30

Beth

: Okay.

7,766

30

Beth

: I am wiped out. I guess I’ll turn in.

7,767

30

Rick

: Cool.

7,768

30

Beth

: Dad? I feel like I’ve spent my life pretending you’re a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been

7,769

30

Rick

: -- That I’m not that great a guy and you’re exactly like me.

7,770

30

Beth

: Am I evil?

7,771

30

Rick

: Worse. You’re smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I’ve never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, not unlike your friend Timmy.

7,772

30

Beth

: Tommy.

7,773

30

Rick

: Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it’ll never stop trying to throw you. And, eventually, it will. There’s no other way off.

7,774

30

Beth

: Dad, I’m out of excuses to not be who I am. So who am I? What do I do?

7,775

30

Rick

: My advice -- Take off. Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out.

7,776

30

Beth

: I can’t do that. The kids, Jerry, my job, and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC’s "The Bachelor."

7,777

30

Rick

: I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, with all your memories. An exact copy in every way. It’ll love and provide for the kids, do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV on the same allegedly ironic level as you. You could be gone a day, a week, or the rest of your life with zero consequences. The moment you decide to come back, I flip a switch, and the clone’s job is done. It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner."

7,778

30

Beth

: If nothing matters, why would you do that for me?

7,779

30

Rick

: I don’t know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. Or maybe it makes you matter. Maybe I love you. Maybe something about your mother. Don’t jump a gift shark in the mouth.

7,780

30

Beth

: I don’t know if I can do it.

7,781

30

Rick

: Then stay, and luxuriate in a life you can finally know you’ve chosen. My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you’re finally gonna chill the [bleep] out.

7,782

30

Beth

: Okay. I know what I want to do.

7,783

30

Kiara

: [ Whoosh ] Aah! [ Thud ] Ow! You can’t run forever!

7,784

30

Summer

: She’s really pissed off.

7,785

30

Jerry

: I know. It’s kinda hot.

7,786

30

Summer

: Shut up!

7,787

30

Varrix

: The hunters! They’re back! Run!

7,788

30

Morty

: -We’re not hunters.

7,789

30

Summer

: -We want to hide with you.

7,790

30

Varrix

: We’re not hiding. We’re nesting.

7,791

30

Morty

: Ooh la la.

7,792

30

Kiara

: [ All scream ] The children must be destroyed so that we can be together.

7,793

30

Summer

: You need to break up with her, Dad -- properly! [ Whoosh ] God damn it, Dad! [ Grunts ] Dump her!

7,794

30

Jerry

: Okay, okay. Kiara, let’s just run away.

7,795

30

Summer

: -Dad!

7,796

30

Morty

:-Come on!

7,797

30

Summer

: Just rip the Band-Aid off!

7,798

30

Jerry

: Okay! Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it’s me. I’m the one who wants to break up. I -- I’m not an evil person. I’m lazy, I’m cowardly, and -- and I do not know what I’m doing. Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. We’re getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. I was excited to date someone cool because it would make my ex notice me.

7,799

30

Kiara

: I would expect nothing less from humanity -- a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that