Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
7,900	30	Morty	Rename them?
7,901	30	Jessica	Squeeze them. Manhandle them. Give them the business. See if you can shuffle them. I mean, really get in there and knock them around. No wrong answers.
7,902	30	Morty	Wow. Well, okay, Jessica. L-let's give this a shot. Morty grabs her breasts and starts fondling her.
7,903	30	Jessica	Mm. Oh, Morty. What are you doing to me?
7,904	30	Morty	Uh, I-I'm just doing my best. in real life, class has ended and Morty is fondling Mr. Goldenfold.
7,905	30	Mr. Goldenfold	Morty! What are you doing to me?!
7,906	30	Morty	sleep-talking. Ah, Jessica.
7,907	30	Mr. Goldenfold	Morty!
7,908	30	Morty	Jessica.
7,909	30	Mr. Goldenfold	Five more minutes of this, and I'm gonna get mad. leans back and bites his lip.
7,910	30	Morty	Je-Jessica. Jessica.
7,911	30	Mr. Goldenfold	Not my fault this is happening.
7,912	30	Frank	Morty is at his locker, where he is confronted by a bully, Frank Palicky.
7,913	30	Morty	Uh, morning, Frank.
7,914	30	Frank	pins Morty to his locker "Morning"? What was what is that supposed to mean? You making fun of me? Are you trying to say my family's poor? takes out a pocket knife and points it at Morty's neck.
7,915	30	Morty	Oh, geez, Frank. I don't know if a knife is necessary. I mean, you know, y-you kind of had things handled without it.
7,916	30	Frank	You telling me how to bully now? Big mistake, Morty and now I'm gonna cut you, 'cause my family's rich. Frank suddenly freezes and Rick steps out from behind him.
7,917	30	Rick	There you are, Morty. Listen to me. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need an extra pair of hands.
7,918	30	Morty	Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-what'd you do to Frank?
7,919	30	Rick	It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him. Now listen I need your help, Morty. I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here and go take care of business. burps. It's important. Come on, Morty.
7,920	30	Morty	I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again.
7,921	30	Rick	Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Come on!
7,922	30	Morty	Aw, geez. Okay. I guess I can skip history. What about Frank? I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?
7,923	30	Rick	I'll do it later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go. takes off with Morty and then Summer comes by, seeing Frank's frozen body.
7,924	30	Summer	in her headOh, my God. I'm about to walk past Frank Palicky. This is the story we'll be telling our children. walks up to Frank and talks to him, oblivious to the fact that he's frozen.
7,925	30	Summer	Hi, Frank. Frank's frozen foot breaks and he drops to the ground and shatters into a million pieces, dying.
7,926	30	Summer	AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
7,927	30	Beth	performing heart surgery on a horse. Scalpel.
7,928	30	Davin	Scalpel. Jerry enters the room.
7,929	30	Jerry	Knock, knock.
7,930	30	Beth	Jerry?
7,931	30	Jerry	My manager gave me an hour for lunch, and I thought, "hey, why not swing by where your wife works?" The heart rate for the horse starts beeping really fast.
7,932	30	Tom	offscreen) We're losing him. (Beth adjusts the horse's organs.
7,933	30	Tom	offscreen. Okay, he's back.
7,934	30	Beth	Jerry, please tell me you're here for an incredibly urgent reason.
7,935	30	Jerry	Well, it's lunch. I mean, it's one of three meals that have existed for millennia. the heart rate starts beeping again.
7,936	30	Tom	offscreen) Losing him. (Beth adjusts the organs again.
7,937	30	Tom	offscreen. Stabilized.
7,938	30	Beth	Okay, I only ask, Jerry, because, as you know, my job involves performing heart surgery.
7,939	30	Jerry	Well, yeah, on horses.
7,940	30	Beth	Excuse me?
7,941	30	Jerry	Okay, Let's not rehash that fight. I sense that you're busy and will now be on my way. drops a pamphlet on the ground.
7,942	30	Jerry	Whoa! What is this on the floor? Some kind of literature for a really nice-looking nursing home. Hey, honey, crazy idea bad pitch let's put your dad here. Let's put your dad in a nursing home. Beth looks at Jerry angrily and the heart hate starts beeping again.
7,943	30	Tom	offscreen. We're losing him.
7,944	30	Beth	Hey, Tom! We know when we're losing him. WE CAN HEAR THE BEEPS!
7,945	30	Rick	There she is. All right. Come on, Morty. Let's go.
7,946	30	Morty	Oh, geez, okay. Rick and Morty go through the portal and end up in a crazy alternate dimension.
7,947	30	Morty	Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?
7,948	30	Rick	It's Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, Morty, called a Mega Tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about Mega Seeds. They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty.
7,949	30	Morty	Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing.
7,950	30	Rick	All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be— a gigantic alien monster suddenly appears behind them.
7,951	30	Rick	HOLY CRAP, MORTY RUN!!! they take off, running in complete and total fear as the monster chases them.
7,952	30	Rick	I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty!
7,953	30	Rick	having apparently escaped, they are walking through Dimension 35-C, continuing their adventure.
7,954	30	Morty	All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?
7,955	30	Rick	Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there. a weird looking monster is seen cooing and rolling around on the ground) What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? (offscreen) Look at it just lumbering around. (onscreen.
7,956	30	Morty	Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave. they come up to a cliff and Rick stops him there.
7,957	30	Rick	Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this? he and Morty are looking down upon a vast forest of interdimensional trees.
7,958	30	Rick	You see what we just stumbled upon, Morty? Any idea what that is down there?
7,959	30	Morty	The mega trees?
7,960	30	Rick	That's right, Morty the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, Morty. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school.
7,961	30	Morty	All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?
7,962	30	Rick	You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an burps) under- (burps) underfoot figure. (Rick gives Morty a pair of shoes and Morty proceeds to put them on.
7,963	30	Rick	Just take these shoes, Morty. They're burps. special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together.
7,964	30	Morty	walks off the cliff and plummets to the ground, screaming and smashing into rocks.
7,965	30	Rick	You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!
7,966	30	Beth	I am not putting my father in a home! He just came back into my life, and you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's Secret?
7,967	30	Jerry	I told you I was ordering you something for Valentine's Day. More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our son.
7,968	30	Davin	Everything cool in here, Beth?
7,969	30	Beth	It's fine, Davin.
7,970	30	Davin	Okay, cool. You know, we did something great today. There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse. Jerry closes the door on Davin.
7,971	30	Jerry	Since we're fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.
7,972	30	Beth	Look, I appreciate the stress you're under, but Morty was having trouble in school way before my dad moved in, and the only influence I can see Rick having is that, for the first time in his life, Morty has a friend. the phone starts ringing.
7,973	30	Jerry	sighs. Well, maybe you're right.
7,974	30	Beth	Uh, yeah, maybe I am. I'm my father's daughter. I'm smart. Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon?
7,975	30	Jerry	coughs) Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. (Beth answers the phone and gets a call from Morty's principal, Gene Vagina.
7,976	30	Principal Vagina	Hello? Mrs. Smith? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon?
7,977	30	Rick	standing by Morty, who is lying on the ground with his legs broken) Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on (offscreen) your legs right now. You know, you got to turn (onscreen.
7,978	30	Morty	I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!
7,979	30	Rick	Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?
7,980	30	Morty	Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.
7,981	30	Rick	Okay, hold on just a second, Morty. opens another portal and leaves Morty behind, lying on the ground to suffer for a few seconds.
7,982	30	Morty	Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh! Rick finally returns and injects Morty's legs with medicine, healing them to perfection.
7,983	30	Morty	Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you.
7,984	30	Rick	Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?
7,985	30	Morty	Sure thing, Rick. goes up the tree and gets the Mega Fruit while Rick talks to him.
7,986	30	Rick	Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. offscreen. The stuff was all over the place, Morty.
7,987	30	Morty	Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.
7,988	30	Rick	There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that burps) they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, Morty. (burps.
7,989	30	Morty	What?!
7,990	30	Rick	It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty.
7,991	30	Morty	Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?
7,992	30	Rick	There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.
7,993	30	Morty	Uh-oh.
7,994	30	Rick	When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.
7,995	30	Morty	In my butt?
7,996	30	Rick	Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.
7,997	30	Morty	Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that.
7,998	30	Rick	Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty
7,999	30	Morty	Uuuh.

7,900

30

Morty

Rename them?

7,901

30

Jessica

Squeeze them. Manhandle them. Give them the business. See if you can shuffle them. I mean, really get in there and knock them around. No wrong answers.

7,902

30

Morty

Wow. Well, okay, Jessica. L-let's give this a shot. Morty grabs her breasts and starts fondling her.

7,903

30

Jessica

Mm. Oh, Morty. What are you doing to me?

7,904

30

Morty

Uh, I-I'm just doing my best. in real life, class has ended and Morty is fondling Mr. Goldenfold.

7,905

30

Mr. Goldenfold

Morty! What are you doing to me?!

7,906

30

Morty

sleep-talking. Ah, Jessica.

7,907

30

Mr. Goldenfold

Morty!

7,908

30

Morty

Jessica.

7,909

30

Mr. Goldenfold

Five more minutes of this, and I'm gonna get mad. leans back and bites his lip.

7,910

30

Morty

Je-Jessica. Jessica.

7,911

30

Mr. Goldenfold

Not my fault this is happening.

7,912

30

Frank

Morty is at his locker, where he is confronted by a bully, Frank Palicky.

7,913

30

Morty

Uh, morning, Frank.

7,914

30

Frank

pins Morty to his locker "Morning"? What was what is that supposed to mean? You making fun of me? Are you trying to say my family's poor? takes out a pocket knife and points it at Morty's neck.

7,915

30

Morty

Oh, geez, Frank. I don't know if a knife is necessary. I mean, you know, y-you kind of had things handled without it.

7,916

30

Frank

You telling me how to bully now? Big mistake, Morty and now I'm gonna cut you, 'cause my family's rich. Frank suddenly freezes and Rick steps out from behind him.

7,917

30

Rick

There you are, Morty. Listen to me. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need an extra pair of hands.

7,918

30

Morty

Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-what'd you do to Frank?

7,919

30

Rick

It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him. Now listen I need your help, Morty. I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here and go take care of business. burps. It's important. Come on, Morty.

7,920

30

Morty

I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again.

7,921

30

Rick

Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Come on!

7,922

30

Morty

Aw, geez. Okay. I guess I can skip history. What about Frank? I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?

7,923

30

Rick

I'll do it later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go. takes off with Morty and then Summer comes by, seeing Frank's frozen body.

7,924

30

Summer

in her headOh, my God. I'm about to walk past Frank Palicky. This is the story we'll be telling our children. walks up to Frank and talks to him, oblivious to the fact that he's frozen.

7,925

30

Summer

Hi, Frank. Frank's frozen foot breaks and he drops to the ground and shatters into a million pieces, dying.

7,926

30

Summer

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

7,927

30

Beth

performing heart surgery on a horse. Scalpel.

7,928

30

Davin

Scalpel. Jerry enters the room.

7,929

30

Jerry

Knock, knock.

7,930

30

Beth

Jerry?

7,931

30

Jerry

My manager gave me an hour for lunch, and I thought, "hey, why not swing by where your wife works?" The heart rate for the horse starts beeping really fast.

7,932

30

Tom

offscreen) We're losing him. (Beth adjusts the horse's organs.

7,933

30

Tom

offscreen. Okay, he's back.

7,934

30

Beth

Jerry, please tell me you're here for an incredibly urgent reason.

7,935

30

Jerry

Well, it's lunch. I mean, it's one of three meals that have existed for millennia. the heart rate starts beeping again.

7,936

30

Tom

offscreen) Losing him. (Beth adjusts the organs again.

7,937

30

Tom

offscreen. Stabilized.

7,938

30

Beth

Okay, I only ask, Jerry, because, as you know, my job involves performing heart surgery.

7,939

30

Jerry

Well, yeah, on horses.

7,940

30

Beth

Excuse me?

7,941

30

Jerry

Okay, Let's not rehash that fight. I sense that you're busy and will now be on my way. drops a pamphlet on the ground.

7,942

30

Jerry

Whoa! What is this on the floor? Some kind of literature for a really nice-looking nursing home. Hey, honey, crazy idea bad pitch let's put your dad here. Let's put your dad in a nursing home. Beth looks at Jerry angrily and the heart hate starts beeping again.

7,943

30

Tom

offscreen. We're losing him.

7,944

30

Beth

Hey, Tom! We know when we're losing him. WE CAN HEAR THE BEEPS!

7,945

30

Rick

There she is. All right. Come on, Morty. Let's go.

7,946

30

Morty

Oh, geez, okay. Rick and Morty go through the portal and end up in a crazy alternate dimension.

7,947

30

Morty

Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?

7,948

30

Rick

It's Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, Morty, called a Mega Tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about Mega Seeds. They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty.

7,949

30

Morty

Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing.

7,950

30

Rick

All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be— a gigantic alien monster suddenly appears behind them.

7,951

30

Rick

HOLY CRAP, MORTY RUN!!! they take off, running in complete and total fear as the monster chases them.

7,952

30

Rick

I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty!

7,953

30

Rick

having apparently escaped, they are walking through Dimension 35-C, continuing their adventure.

7,954

30

Morty

All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?

7,955

30

Rick

Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there. a weird looking monster is seen cooing and rolling around on the ground) What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? (offscreen) Look at it just lumbering around. (onscreen.

7,956

30

Morty

Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave. they come up to a cliff and Rick stops him there.

7,957

30

Rick

Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this? he and Morty are looking down upon a vast forest of interdimensional trees.

7,958

30

Rick

You see what we just stumbled upon, Morty? Any idea what that is down there?

7,959

30

Morty

The mega trees?

7,960

30

Rick

That's right, Morty the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, Morty. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school.

7,961

30

Morty

All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?

7,962

30

Rick

You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an burps) under- (burps) underfoot figure. (Rick gives Morty a pair of shoes and Morty proceeds to put them on.

7,963

30

Rick

Just take these shoes, Morty. They're burps. special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together.

7,964

30

Morty

walks off the cliff and plummets to the ground, screaming and smashing into rocks.

7,965

30

Rick

You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!

7,966

30

Beth

I am not putting my father in a home! He just came back into my life, and you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's Secret?

7,967

30

Jerry

I told you I was ordering you something for Valentine's Day. More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our son.

7,968

30

Davin

Everything cool in here, Beth?

7,969

30

Beth

It's fine, Davin.

7,970

30

Davin

Okay, cool. You know, we did something great today. There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse. Jerry closes the door on Davin.

7,971

30

Jerry

Since we're fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.

7,972

30

Beth

Look, I appreciate the stress you're under, but Morty was having trouble in school way before my dad moved in, and the only influence I can see Rick having is that, for the first time in his life, Morty has a friend. the phone starts ringing.

7,973

30

Jerry

sighs. Well, maybe you're right.

7,974

30

Beth

Uh, yeah, maybe I am. I'm my father's daughter. I'm smart. Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon?

7,975

30

Jerry

coughs) Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. (Beth answers the phone and gets a call from Morty's principal, Gene Vagina.

7,976

30

Principal Vagina

Hello? Mrs. Smith? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon?

7,977

30

Rick

standing by Morty, who is lying on the ground with his legs broken) Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on (offscreen) your legs right now. You know, you got to turn (onscreen.

7,978

30

Morty

I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!

7,979

30

Rick

Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?

7,980

30

Morty

Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

7,981

30

Rick

Okay, hold on just a second, Morty. opens another portal and leaves Morty behind, lying on the ground to suffer for a few seconds.

7,982

30

Morty

Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh! Rick finally returns and injects Morty's legs with medicine, healing them to perfection.

7,983

30

Morty

Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you.

7,984

30

Rick

Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?

7,985

30

Morty

Sure thing, Rick. goes up the tree and gets the Mega Fruit while Rick talks to him.

7,986

30

Rick

Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. offscreen. The stuff was all over the place, Morty.

7,987

30

Morty

Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.

7,988

30

Rick

There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that burps) they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, Morty. (burps.

7,989

30

Morty

What?!

7,990

30

Rick

It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty.

7,991

30

Morty

Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?

7,992

30

Rick

There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.

7,993

30

Morty

Uh-oh.

7,994

30

Rick

When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.

7,995

30

Morty

In my butt?

7,996

30

Rick

Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.

7,997

30

Morty

Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that.

7,998

30

Rick

Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty

7,999

30

Morty

Uuuh.