Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
8,000	30	Rick	And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y- burps. you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.
8,001	30	Morty	In my butt?
8,002	30	Rick	Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty.
8,003	30	Morty	Oh, man.
8,004	30	Principal Vagina	The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.
8,005	30	Beth	What? Why didn't you notify us?
8,006	30	Principal Vagina	I done been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?
8,007	30	Jerry	Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?
8,008	30	Principal Vagina	Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school. they stop to see Summer and some other students, crying at an obituary for Frank.
8,009	30	Beth	Summer?
8,010	30	Summer	sobs. What kind of God lets this happen?
8,011	30	Principal Vagina	We had a little incident. A student was frozen to death. chuckles. And there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place. I won't let them.
8,012	30	Announcer	The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
8,013	30	Alien	So, I told him, "give me the blimfarx," you know? This-this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency.
8,014	30	Alien	It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like, that's what we eat on Girvonesk.
8,015	30	Announcer	The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
8,016	30	Rick	Morty comes up to him, who is waiting in line to get through security.
8,017	30	Morty	Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy. They hurt.
8,018	30	Rick	That means they're good ones. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-
8,019	30	Gromflomite	Okay, next through. stops Morty. Except you. You go over there.
8,020	30	Rick	Why does he have to go over there?
8,021	30	Gromflomite	Random check. He's got to go through the new machine.
8,022	30	Rick	What new- burps. what new machine?
8,023	30	Gromflomite	It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt.
8,024	30	Rick	Run, Morty! Run! grabs Morty and they run through security and dart for the exit.
8,025	30	Morty	Aaaaaah!
8,026	30	Gromfomite	Red alert! team of Gromflomites starts chasing after Rick and Morty.
8,027	30	Morty	Ohhhhh! Rick pushes over a giant capsule, with an alien fetus over, smashing some Gromflomites, to slow them down.
8,028	30	Morty	Ohhhhhh! an alien is seen smoking a hookah and Morty runs past him and accidentally inhales the smoke from the hookah while Rick comes from behind and slaps the alien in the face, causing the alien to cry; he then coughs up a life form from the smoke and the lifeform starts running through the glarp zone and goes through the entire aging process from developing fetus to decomposing corpse, over the course of three seconds.
8,029	30	Morty	Aaaaah!
8,030	30	Rick	Don't think about it! he and Morty are cornered but Morty activates the grappling shoes and runs up the wall with Rick.
8,031	30	Rick	Ooh! Oh, nice, Morty! The student becomes the teacher. the Gromflomites reveal that they can fly and then Rick and Morty start running away.
8,032	30	Morty	Whoooooo! he and Rick run through the equipment on the ceiling, before they slip off to the ground.
8,033	30	Alien	Aah! Aw, hell, no, dawg. You know me I'm just trying to— Rick and Morty crash to the ground and he dies; they then run to the portal computer.
8,034	30	Rick	I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, Morty. Cover me. he tosses Morty a gun.
8,035	30	Morty	Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody.
8,036	30	Rick	They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots! Morty shoots a Glenn, blowing his leg off, and making blood gush out as he drops down in pain.
8,037	30	Glenn	Aaaaah! My leg is shot off!
8,038	30	Other Gromflomite	Glenn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!
8,039	30	Morty	They're not robots, Rick!
8,040	30	Rick	It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here! Morty continues shooting the Gromflomites and even kills some innocent bystanders while Rick hacks into the portal to take them back home.
8,041	30	Morty	Holy crap! This is insane! Rick opens the portal and takes Morty in with him.
8,042	30	Rick	Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here! the portal opens up in the lunchroom at school and Rick and Morty land on the table where Jessica and her friends are eating.
8,043	30	Jessica	Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?
8,044	30	Morty	Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop. nervously laughs.
8,045	30	Jessica	You're Morty, right?
8,046	30	Morty	Yeah. Rick grabs Morty and takes him way.
8,047	30	Rick	You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass. Rick and Morty are stopped by Jerry, Beth, and Principal Vagina.
8,048	30	Jerry	Oh, look, honey. It's our son with Albert Ein-douche.
8,049	30	Beth	What?
8,050	30	Jerry	I'm an angry father, not an improviser.
8,051	30	Rick	Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your-your parents and I are very disappointed in-in this behavior... No? No takers? Rick and Morty are back at home in the garage while Jerry and Beth start taking all his things and packing them up so he can move to the nursing home.
8,052	30	Rick	You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning.
8,053	30	Jerry	You're beyond our reasoning!
8,054	30	Rick	Takes one to know one.
8,055	30	Beth	Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
8,056	30	Rick	What what are you guys doing with my stuff?
8,057	30	Beth	We're moving you to a nursing home.
8,058	30	Rick	A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun.
8,059	30	Jerry	Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the Boy Scouts every Christmas.
8,060	30	Beth	What does that mean?
8,061	30	Jerry	It's personal.
8,062	30	Morty	Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all.
8,063	30	Jerry	Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.
8,064	30	Rick	What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?
8,065	30	Beth	Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.
8,066	30	Rick	I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?
8,067	30	Jerry	Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?
8,068	30	Morty	I do?
8,069	30	Jerry	Well, duh doy, son. Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.
8,070	30	Morty	Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.
8,071	30	Rick	Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.
8,072	30	Morty	Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't.
8,073	30	Rick	The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!
8,074	30	Morty	1.77245385... Whoa!
8,075	30	Beth	What the hell?
8,076	30	Jerry	checks Morty's answer with calculator. Holy crap. He's right.
8,077	30	Rick	Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics.
8,078	30	Morty	"The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system." Wow! I'm so smart!
8,079	30	Jerry	But—
8,080	30	Rick	I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child. He has a special mind. That's why he's my little helper. He's like me. He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life. He's too smart for school. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me.
8,081	30	Beth	Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop.
8,082	30	Jerry	No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But he has to keep going to school.
8,083	30	Rick	Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication. Summer butts in, crying over the death of Frank.
8,084	30	Summer	crying. Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!
8,085	30	Rick	No idea what you're talking about. Summer leaves, crying.
8,086	30	Jerry	Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you.
8,087	30	Beth	You know what? Okay. she and Jerry leave.
8,088	30	Morty	Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.
8,089	30	Rick	Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
8,090	30	Morty	Aw, man.
8,091	30	Rick	Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty. Starting right about now.
8,092	30	Morty	Ohh, man. losing consciousness) Oh, geez! Ohh. (drops to the ground and starts moaning as he has a seizure.
8,093	30	Rick	I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more adventures. excitedly looks down upon him, telling him about their future adventures.
8,094	30	News Anchor	: In local news, child murderer Joseph Eli Lipnip is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal injection, his execution already drawing dozens more spectators than the death of TV news. Carla?
8,095	30	Carla Johnson	: The man that once ate his own son
8,096	30	Beth	: Wow. He’s really getting executed after all this time. You know the son that he ate was --
8,097	30	Summer	: Your best friend -- Tommy. We know. Stop true-crime bragging.
8,098	30	Beth	:I was traumatized, Summer. Okay, your generation wouldn’t get that.
8,099	30	Summer	: Bitch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast.

8,000

30

Rick

And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y- burps. you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.

8,001

30

Morty

In my butt?

8,002

30

Rick

Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty.

8,003

30

Morty

Oh, man.

8,004

30

Principal Vagina

The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.

8,005

30

Beth

What? Why didn't you notify us?

8,006

30

Principal Vagina

I done been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?

8,007

30

Jerry

Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?

8,008

30

Principal Vagina

Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school. they stop to see Summer and some other students, crying at an obituary for Frank.

8,009

30

Beth

Summer?

8,010

30

Summer

sobs. What kind of God lets this happen?

8,011

30

Principal Vagina

We had a little incident. A student was frozen to death. chuckles. And there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place. I won't let them.

8,012

30

Announcer

The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.

8,013

30

Alien

So, I told him, "give me the blimfarx," you know? This-this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency.

8,014

30

Alien

It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like, that's what we eat on Girvonesk.

8,015

30

Announcer

The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.

8,016

30

Rick

Morty comes up to him, who is waiting in line to get through security.

8,017

30

Morty

Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy. They hurt.

8,018

30

Rick

That means they're good ones. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-

8,019

30

Gromflomite

Okay, next through. stops Morty. Except you. You go over there.

8,020

30

Rick

Why does he have to go over there?

8,021

30

Gromflomite

Random check. He's got to go through the new machine.

8,022

30

Rick

What new- burps. what new machine?

8,023

30

Gromflomite

It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt.

8,024

30

Rick

Run, Morty! Run! grabs Morty and they run through security and dart for the exit.

8,025

30

Morty

Aaaaaah!

8,026

30

Gromfomite

Red alert! team of Gromflomites starts chasing after Rick and Morty.

8,027

30

Morty

Ohhhhh! Rick pushes over a giant capsule, with an alien fetus over, smashing some Gromflomites, to slow them down.

8,028

30

Morty

Ohhhhhh! an alien is seen smoking a hookah and Morty runs past him and accidentally inhales the smoke from the hookah while Rick comes from behind and slaps the alien in the face, causing the alien to cry; he then coughs up a life form from the smoke and the lifeform starts running through the glarp zone and goes through the entire aging process from developing fetus to decomposing corpse, over the course of three seconds.

8,029

30

Morty

Aaaaah!

8,030

30

Rick

Don't think about it! he and Morty are cornered but Morty activates the grappling shoes and runs up the wall with Rick.

8,031

30

Rick

Ooh! Oh, nice, Morty! The student becomes the teacher. the Gromflomites reveal that they can fly and then Rick and Morty start running away.

8,032

30

Morty

Whoooooo! he and Rick run through the equipment on the ceiling, before they slip off to the ground.

8,033

30

Alien

Aah! Aw, hell, no, dawg. You know me I'm just trying to— Rick and Morty crash to the ground and he dies; they then run to the portal computer.

8,034

30

Rick

I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, Morty. Cover me. he tosses Morty a gun.

8,035

30

Morty

Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody.

8,036

30

Rick

They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots! Morty shoots a Glenn, blowing his leg off, and making blood gush out as he drops down in pain.

8,037

30

Glenn

Aaaaah! My leg is shot off!

8,038

30

Other Gromflomite

Glenn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!

8,039

30

Morty

They're not robots, Rick!

8,040

30

Rick

It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here! Morty continues shooting the Gromflomites and even kills some innocent bystanders while Rick hacks into the portal to take them back home.

8,041

30

Morty

Holy crap! This is insane! Rick opens the portal and takes Morty in with him.

8,042

30

Rick

Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here! the portal opens up in the lunchroom at school and Rick and Morty land on the table where Jessica and her friends are eating.

8,043

30

Jessica

Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?

8,044

30

Morty

Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop. nervously laughs.

8,045

30

Jessica

You're Morty, right?

8,046

30

Morty

Yeah. Rick grabs Morty and takes him way.

8,047

30

Rick

You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass. Rick and Morty are stopped by Jerry, Beth, and Principal Vagina.

8,048

30

Jerry

Oh, look, honey. It's our son with Albert Ein-douche.

8,049

30

Beth

What?

8,050

30

Jerry

I'm an angry father, not an improviser.

8,051

30

Rick

Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your-your parents and I are very disappointed in-in this behavior... No? No takers? Rick and Morty are back at home in the garage while Jerry and Beth start taking all his things and packing them up so he can move to the nursing home.

8,052

30

Rick

You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning.

8,053

30

Jerry

You're beyond our reasoning!

8,054

30

Rick

Takes one to know one.

8,055

30

Beth

Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.

8,056

30

Rick

What what are you guys doing with my stuff?

8,057

30

Beth

We're moving you to a nursing home.

8,058

30

Rick

A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun.

8,059

30

Jerry

Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the Boy Scouts every Christmas.

8,060

30

Beth

What does that mean?

8,061

30

Jerry

It's personal.

8,062

30

Morty

Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all.

8,063

30

Jerry

Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.

8,064

30

Rick

What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?

8,065

30

Beth

Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.

8,066

30

Rick

I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?

8,067

30

Jerry

Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?

8,068

30

Morty

I do?

8,069

30

Jerry

Well, duh doy, son. Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.

8,070

30

Morty

Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.

8,071

30

Rick

Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.

8,072

30

Morty

Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't.

8,073

30

Rick

The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!

8,074

30

Morty

1.77245385... Whoa!

8,075

30

Beth

What the hell?

8,076

30

Jerry

checks Morty's answer with calculator. Holy crap. He's right.

8,077

30

Rick

Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics.

8,078

30

Morty

"The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system." Wow! I'm so smart!

8,079

30

Jerry

But—

8,080

30

Rick

I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child. He has a special mind. That's why he's my little helper. He's like me. He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life. He's too smart for school. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me.

8,081

30

Beth

Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop.

8,082

30

Jerry

No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But he has to keep going to school.

8,083

30

Rick

Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication. Summer butts in, crying over the death of Frank.

8,084

30

Summer

crying. Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!

8,085

30

Rick

No idea what you're talking about. Summer leaves, crying.

8,086

30

Jerry

Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you.

8,087

30

Beth

You know what? Okay. she and Jerry leave.

8,088

30

Morty

Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.

8,089

30

Rick

Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.

8,090

30

Morty

Aw, man.

8,091

30

Rick

Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty. Starting right about now.

8,092

30

Morty

Ohh, man. losing consciousness) Oh, geez! Ohh. (drops to the ground and starts moaning as he has a seizure.

8,093

30

Rick

I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more adventures. excitedly looks down upon him, telling him about their future adventures.

8,094

30

News Anchor

: In local news, child murderer Joseph Eli Lipnip is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal injection, his execution already drawing dozens more spectators than the death of TV news. Carla?

8,095

30

Carla Johnson

: The man that once ate his own son

8,096

30

Beth

: Wow. He’s really getting executed after all this time. You know the son that he ate was --

8,097

30

Summer

: Your best friend -- Tommy. We know. Stop true-crime bragging.

8,098

30

Beth

:I was traumatized, Summer. Okay, your generation wouldn’t get that.

8,099

30

Summer

: Bitch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast.