Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
8,300	30	Jerry	: We’re going to Alaska.
8,301	30	Morty	: What? Why?
8,302	30	Jerry	: It’s nice there. Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn’t take it well, and she wants to murder you two.
8,303	30	Morty	: What? Th-Then why are we walking?
8,304	30	Jerry	:I’m walking because I’m tired. You guys should definitely run.
8,305	30	Kiara	: [ Screams, Thud ] Excuse me, I just -- You know what? I’m -- I’m just gonna go left. No, okay, your left, that’s fine. Do you know what left is, ‘cause -- Ugh!
8,306	30	Morty	: What does your breakup have to do with us? [ Engine starts ]
8,307	30	Summer	: Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook.
8,308	30	Jerry	: [ Crash, Tires squeal ] She kind of blames you guys for the breakup.
8,309	30	Summer	: -Why?
8,310	30	Morty	:-Why?
8,311	30	Jerry	: Because I told her it was your fault.
8,312	30	Summer	: -What?!
8,313	30	Morty	:-What?!
8,314	30	Jerry	: Look, I’m not an evil person. I’m just not very imaginative! [ Warbling, Grunts, Metal twisting ] Oh! [ All scream ]
8,315	30	Rick	:Doo-doo butt Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt No. [ Jingling ] Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt
8,316	30	Beth	: Hey.
8,317	30	Rick	: Hey.
8,318	30	Beth	: Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, if you were gonna make a clone of Tommy, what would you need to get started?
8,319	30	Rick	: I don’t kn-- Tommy’s DNA?
8,320	30	Beth	: Okay, ‘cause he, um Yeah, he didn’t want to come back, so, um, he gave me this.
8,321	30	Rick	: He gave you his finger?
8,322	30	Beth	: Uh, well, what happened is
8,323	30	Rick	: -- It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.
8,324	30	Beth	: Okay.
8,325	30	Rick	: This’ll take about three hours.
8,326	30	Beth	: Okay.
8,327	30	Rick	: Hey. You want to help?
8,328	30	Beth	: Okay.
8,329	30	Beth	: I am wiped out. I guess I’ll turn in.
8,330	30	Rick	: Cool.
8,331	30	Beth	: Dad? I feel like I’ve spent my life pretending you’re a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been
8,332	30	Rick	: -- That I’m not that great a guy and you’re exactly like me.
8,333	30	Beth	: Am I evil?
8,334	30	Rick	: Worse. You’re smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I’ve never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, not unlike your friend Timmy.
8,335	30	Beth	: Tommy.
8,336	30	Rick	: Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it’ll never stop trying to throw you. And, eventually, it will. There’s no other way off.
8,337	30	Beth	: Dad, I’m out of excuses to not be who I am. So who am I? What do I do?
8,338	30	Rick	: My advice -- Take off. Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out.
8,339	30	Beth	: I can’t do that. The kids, Jerry, my job, and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC’s "The Bachelor."
8,340	30	Rick	: I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, with all your memories. An exact copy in every way. It’ll love and provide for the kids, do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV on the same allegedly ironic level as you. You could be gone a day, a week, or the rest of your life with zero consequences. The moment you decide to come back, I flip a switch, and the clone’s job is done. It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner."
8,341	30	Beth	: If nothing matters, why would you do that for me?
8,342	30	Rick	: I don’t know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. Or maybe it makes you matter. Maybe I love you. Maybe something about your mother. Don’t jump a gift shark in the mouth.
8,343	30	Beth	: I don’t know if I can do it.
8,344	30	Rick	: Then stay, and luxuriate in a life you can finally know you’ve chosen. My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you’re finally gonna chill the [bleep] out.
8,345	30	Beth	: Okay. I know what I want to do.
8,346	30	Kiara	: [ Whoosh ] Aah! [ Thud ] Ow! You can’t run forever!
8,347	30	Summer	: She’s really pissed off.
8,348	30	Jerry	: I know. It’s kinda hot.
8,349	30	Summer	: Shut up!
8,350	30	Varrix	: The hunters! They’re back! Run!
8,351	30	Morty	: -We’re not hunters.
8,352	30	Summer	: -We want to hide with you.
8,353	30	Varrix	: We’re not hiding. We’re nesting.
8,354	30	Morty	: Ooh la la.
8,355	30	Kiara	: [ All scream ] The children must be destroyed so that we can be together.
8,356	30	Summer	: You need to break up with her, Dad -- properly! [ Whoosh ] God damn it, Dad! [ Grunts ] Dump her!
8,357	30	Jerry	: Okay, okay. Kiara, let’s just run away.
8,358	30	Summer	: -Dad!
8,359	30	Morty	:-Come on!
8,360	30	Summer	: Just rip the Band-Aid off!
8,361	30	Jerry	: Okay! Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it’s me. I’m the one who wants to break up. I -- I’m not an evil person. I’m lazy, I’m cowardly, and -- and I do not know what I’m doing. Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. We’re getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. I was excited to date someone cool because it would make my ex notice me.
8,362	30	Kiara	: I would expect nothing less from humanity -- a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that
8,363	30	Trandor	:-- -Kiara?
8,364	30	Kiara	: -Trandor!
8,365	30	Trandor	: What are you doing here?
8,366	30	Kiara	: Just hunting.
8,367	30	Trandor	: Do you really expect me to believe it has nothing to do with us? You knew Earth was my domain.
8,368	30	Kiara	: I don’t like what you’re insinuating.
8,369	30	Summer	: Dad, can we go now?
8,370	30	Jerry	: Hold on a second. I’m starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound.
8,371	30	Morty	: Dad, you just got handed an Ex Machina. You’re taking it.
8,372	30	Trandor	: Varrix nests spread across 300 galaxies, and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt? That’s Gorgon shit -- total Gorgon shit!
8,373	30	Summer	: We’re home!
8,374	30	Beth	: Hey, guys!
8,375	30	Summer	: What’s for dinner?
8,376	30	Beth	: How was Jerry’s?
8,377	30	Summer	: The usual. Can we have pizza?
8,378	30	Beth	: Pizza sounds great.
8,379	30	Morty	: Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien? No.
8,380	30	Rick	: Gross.: For the alien.
8,381	30	Beth	: Aw, crap, I think Arnaldo’s is closed. Are you guys sure you want pizza?
8,382	30	Rick	: [ Whoosh ] Arnaldo’s isn’t closed in the dimension where they didn’t invent Daylight Savings!
8,383	30	Beth	: What would we do without you? I love you, Dad.
8,384	30	Rick	: Love you, too, sweetie. By the way, that wasn’t time travel. There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. I grabbed them.
8,385	30	Kiara	: [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, it’s Kiara. Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you’ve been sending me, and he got pretty pissed off. If he calls you, just ignore him! [ Beep ]
8,386	30	Carmox	: [ Beep ] This is Carmox. I have intercepted sexual communications between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara. I am coming to kill you now! [ Beep ]
8,387	30	Rick	: [ Beep]Yo, Jerry, it’s the Big R. Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya. Looking out for ya, buddy. [ Beep ] [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, it’s Rick. Don’t be mad. I [bleep] your ex-girlfriend Kiara.
8,388	30	Kiara	:Who are you talking to, Rick? Doesn’t matter.
8,389	30	Michael	:Hey, Jerry, this is Michael down at The Antique Phone rentals. Um, I’m gonna go ahead and let you off the hook for the $70 late fee. You can go ahead and keep that answering machine. Nobody really uses those anymore except for exposition on TV shows, anyways.
8,390	35	Morty	Rick, we did it! W-we got it!
8,391	35	Rick	Hurry up, Morty get in!
8,392	35	Morty	Chachi!
8,393	35	Rick	Fuck Chachi, Morty! Did you get it?
8,394	35	Morty	He helped me escape prison!
8,395	35	Rick	Did you get the Ultimate Cube?
8,396	35	Rick	Oh, it's purple.
8,397	35	Morty	You said it was purple.
8,398	35	Rick	I said mine was, I didn't know they all were.
8,399	35	Rick	And now we do, thanks to Chichi.

8,300

30

Jerry

: We’re going to Alaska.

8,301

30

Morty

: What? Why?

8,302

30

Jerry

: It’s nice there. Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn’t take it well, and she wants to murder you two.

8,303

30

Morty

: What? Th-Then why are we walking?

8,304

30

Jerry

:I’m walking because I’m tired. You guys should definitely run.

8,305

30

Kiara

: [ Screams, Thud ] Excuse me, I just -- You know what? I’m -- I’m just gonna go left. No, okay, your left, that’s fine. Do you know what left is, ‘cause -- Ugh!

8,306

30

Morty

: What does your breakup have to do with us? [ Engine starts ]

8,307

30

Summer

: Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook.

8,308

30

Jerry

: [ Crash, Tires squeal ] She kind of blames you guys for the breakup.

8,309

30

Summer

: -Why?

8,310

30

Morty

:-Why?

8,311

30

Jerry

: Because I told her it was your fault.

8,312

30

Summer

: -What?!

8,313

30

Morty

:-What?!

8,314

30

Jerry

: Look, I’m not an evil person. I’m just not very imaginative! [ Warbling, Grunts, Metal twisting ] Oh! [ All scream ]

8,315

30

Rick

:Doo-doo butt Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt No. [ Jingling ] Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt

8,316

30

Beth

: Hey.

8,317

30

Rick

: Hey.

8,318

30

Beth

: Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, if you were gonna make a clone of Tommy, what would you need to get started?

8,319

30

Rick

: I don’t kn-- Tommy’s DNA?

8,320

30

Beth

: Okay, ‘cause he, um Yeah, he didn’t want to come back, so, um, he gave me this.

8,321

30

Rick

: He gave you his finger?

8,322

30

Beth

: Uh, well, what happened is

8,323

30

Rick

: -- It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.

8,324

30

Beth

: Okay.

8,325

30

Rick

: This’ll take about three hours.

8,326

30

Beth

: Okay.

8,327

30

Rick

: Hey. You want to help?

8,328

30

Beth

: Okay.

8,329

30

Beth

: I am wiped out. I guess I’ll turn in.

8,330

30

Rick

: Cool.

8,331

30

Beth

: Dad? I feel like I’ve spent my life pretending you’re a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been

8,332

30

Rick

: -- That I’m not that great a guy and you’re exactly like me.

8,333

30

Beth

: Am I evil?

8,334

30

Rick

: Worse. You’re smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I’ve never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, not unlike your friend Timmy.

8,335

30

Beth

: Tommy.

8,336

30

Rick

: Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it’ll never stop trying to throw you. And, eventually, it will. There’s no other way off.

8,337

30

Beth

: Dad, I’m out of excuses to not be who I am. So who am I? What do I do?

8,338

30

Rick

: My advice -- Take off. Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out.

8,339

30

Beth

: I can’t do that. The kids, Jerry, my job, and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC’s "The Bachelor."

8,340

30

Rick

: I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, with all your memories. An exact copy in every way. It’ll love and provide for the kids, do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV on the same allegedly ironic level as you. You could be gone a day, a week, or the rest of your life with zero consequences. The moment you decide to come back, I flip a switch, and the clone’s job is done. It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner."

8,341

30

Beth

: If nothing matters, why would you do that for me?

8,342

30

Rick

: I don’t know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. Or maybe it makes you matter. Maybe I love you. Maybe something about your mother. Don’t jump a gift shark in the mouth.

8,343

30

Beth

: I don’t know if I can do it.

8,344

30

Rick

: Then stay, and luxuriate in a life you can finally know you’ve chosen. My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you’re finally gonna chill the [bleep] out.

8,345

30

Beth

: Okay. I know what I want to do.

8,346

30

Kiara

: [ Whoosh ] Aah! [ Thud ] Ow! You can’t run forever!

8,347

30

Summer

: She’s really pissed off.

8,348

30

Jerry

: I know. It’s kinda hot.

8,349

30

Summer

: Shut up!

8,350

30

Varrix

: The hunters! They’re back! Run!

8,351

30

Morty

: -We’re not hunters.

8,352

30

Summer

: -We want to hide with you.

8,353

30

Varrix

: We’re not hiding. We’re nesting.

8,354

30

Morty

: Ooh la la.

8,355

30

Kiara

: [ All scream ] The children must be destroyed so that we can be together.

8,356

30

Summer

: You need to break up with her, Dad -- properly! [ Whoosh ] God damn it, Dad! [ Grunts ] Dump her!

8,357

30

Jerry

: Okay, okay. Kiara, let’s just run away.

8,358

30

Summer

: -Dad!

8,359

30

Morty

:-Come on!

8,360

30

Summer

: Just rip the Band-Aid off!

8,361

30

Jerry

: Okay! Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it’s me. I’m the one who wants to break up. I -- I’m not an evil person. I’m lazy, I’m cowardly, and -- and I do not know what I’m doing. Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. We’re getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. I was excited to date someone cool because it would make my ex notice me.

8,362

30

Kiara

: I would expect nothing less from humanity -- a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that

8,363

30

Trandor

:-- -Kiara?

8,364

30

Kiara

: -Trandor!

8,365

30

Trandor

: What are you doing here?

8,366

30

Kiara

: Just hunting.

8,367

30

Trandor

: Do you really expect me to believe it has nothing to do with us? You knew Earth was my domain.

8,368

30

Kiara

: I don’t like what you’re insinuating.

8,369

30

Summer

: Dad, can we go now?

8,370

30

Jerry

: Hold on a second. I’m starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound.

8,371

30

Morty

: Dad, you just got handed an Ex Machina. You’re taking it.

8,372

30

Trandor

: Varrix nests spread across 300 galaxies, and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt? That’s Gorgon shit -- total Gorgon shit!

8,373

30

Summer

: We’re home!

8,374

30

Beth

: Hey, guys!

8,375

30

Summer

: What’s for dinner?

8,376

30

Beth

: How was Jerry’s?

8,377

30

Summer

: The usual. Can we have pizza?

8,378

30

Beth

: Pizza sounds great.

8,379

30

Morty

: Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien? No.

8,380

30

Rick

: Gross.: For the alien.

8,381

30

Beth

: Aw, crap, I think Arnaldo’s is closed. Are you guys sure you want pizza?

8,382

30

Rick

: [ Whoosh ] Arnaldo’s isn’t closed in the dimension where they didn’t invent Daylight Savings!

8,383

30

Beth

: What would we do without you? I love you, Dad.

8,384

30

Rick

: Love you, too, sweetie. By the way, that wasn’t time travel. There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. I grabbed them.

8,385

30

Kiara

: [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, it’s Kiara. Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you’ve been sending me, and he got pretty pissed off. If he calls you, just ignore him! [ Beep ]

8,386

30

Carmox

: [ Beep ] This is Carmox. I have intercepted sexual communications between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara. I am coming to kill you now! [ Beep ]

8,387

30

Rick

: [ Beep]Yo, Jerry, it’s the Big R. Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya. Looking out for ya, buddy. [ Beep ] [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, it’s Rick. Don’t be mad. I [bleep] your ex-girlfriend Kiara.

8,388

30

Kiara

:Who are you talking to, Rick? Doesn’t matter.

8,389

30

Michael

:Hey, Jerry, this is Michael down at The Antique Phone rentals. Um, I’m gonna go ahead and let you off the hook for the $70 late fee. You can go ahead and keep that answering machine. Nobody really uses those anymore except for exposition on TV shows, anyways.

8,390

35

Morty

Rick, we did it! W-we got it!

8,391

35

Rick

Hurry up, Morty get in!

8,392

35

Morty

Chachi!

8,393

35

Rick

Fuck Chachi, Morty! Did you get it?

8,394

35

Morty

He helped me escape prison!

8,395

35

Rick

Did you get the Ultimate Cube?

8,396

35

Rick

Oh, it's purple.

8,397

35

Morty

You said it was purple.

8,398

35

Rick

I said mine was, I didn't know they all were.

8,399

35

Rick

And now we do, thanks to Chichi.