Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k | episode no. int64 1 51 | speaker stringclasses 976
values | dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k |
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8,600 | 43 | Jerry | : Come again?
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8,601 | 43 | Rick | : Christian God is real, he's been asleep for thousands of years. We're gonna sneak up there and kill him.
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8,602 | 43 | Morty | : Mob style.
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8,603 | 43 | Rick | : Whack his ass.
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8,604 | 43 | Summer | : Can I kill God?
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8,605 | 43 | Rick | : [at the same time as Morty] Fuck off, Summer.
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8,606 | 43 | Morty | : [at the same time as Rick] Pfft, as if!
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8,607 | 43 | Jerry | : Beth, do you hear this?
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8,608 | 43 | Beth | : Sweetie, don't get all worked up before your job interview.
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8,609 | 43 | Rick | : Job interview?
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8,610 | 43 | Jerry | : Yes, is that so hard to believe?
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8,611 | 43 | Rick | : Actually, yeah. Something's off.
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8,612 | 43 | Beth | : No!
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8,613 | 43 | Morty | : Shit!
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8,614 | 43 | Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted | : Hunt me, hunt me, somebody hunt me!
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8,615 | 43 | Rick | : Don't hunt him to completion!
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8,616 | 43 | Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted | : Hunt me! [He continues to shout in the background as he jumps on the dining table.]
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8,617 | 43 | Rick | : Oh. Shit. Everyone start packing, no time to explain.
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8,618 | 43 | Jerry | : Rick?
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8,619 | 43 | Beth | : Dad? What's wrong?
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8,620 | 43 | Rick | : Someone just killed a decoy family.
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8,621 | 43 | Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted | : I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted!
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8,622 | 43 | Rick | : Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay?
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8,623 | 43 | Morty | : You made clones of us?
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8,624 | 43 | Rick | : Decoys, Morty. Very different. [To Beth] Very different, sweetie.
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8,625 | 43 | Morty | : Different h-ow! [Rick pinches him.]
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8,626 | 43 | Beth | : Yeah, dad. Different h-ow?
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8,627 | 43 | Rick | : Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie. I'm cool, and it makes them feel bad. So, y'know, after that trouble with Space Beth, I made passable copies of the family and placed them around the country as a buffer zone to protect–
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8,628 | 43 | Jerry | : But why does he always want to be hunted?
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8,629 | 43 | Beth | : Jerry–
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8,630 | 43 | Morty | : It's not important right now, dad!
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8,631 | 43 | Jerry | : Sure, guys. Rick can make secret decoys of the family and place them all around the country, but fuck me if I have questions about the starfish man in a target suit.
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8,632 | 43 | Summer | : So thankful this is my Saturday.
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8,633 | 43 | Jerry | : Why was he in that cryopod?
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8,634 | 43 | Rick | : The cryopod is what confuses you? Jerry, can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes?
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8,635 | 43 | Jerry | : Well, I don't see any stakes at all.
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8,636 | 43 | Rick | : Ah, shit!
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8,637 | 43 | Jerry | : Guess we'll just be saying " |
8,638 | 43 | Rick | : Shut up and pack, Jerry. Squids just killed a decoy family.
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8,639 | 43 | Beth | : Decoy family?
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8,640 | 43 | Morty | : Is this why you wanted to get out of town?
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8,641 | 43 | Rick | : You think I'd lie to you about why we're on vacation, Morty? I wouldn't lie to you. [Morty glares at him.] Well, that's a lie. Huh.
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8,642 | 43 | Summer | : So someone out there is trying to kill us?
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8,643 | 43 | Rick | : Someone's always trying to kill us. That's what the decoys are for. They go on fun, self-contained terrestrial adventures, and–[a bomb smashes through the window] take bullets meant for us. Shit.
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8,644 | 43 | Jerry | : Ahhh! No!
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8,645 | 43 | Rick | : Ah, shit. Decoy family.
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8,646 | 43 | Morty | : I think dad was still outside. What's a decoy family?
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8,647 | 43 | Rick | : Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept. I've never really cracked it, if I'm being honest. Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead for another special episode!
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8,648 | 43 | Morty | : Oh, cool!
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8,649 | 43 | TV | : We now return to |
8,650 | 43 | Rick | : Woah, a time traveling wolf? Count me in.
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8,651 | 43 | Morty | : Yeah, I never thought of the "were" in "werewolf" like "who, what, when and where!" Clever wordplay!
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8,652 | 43 | Dracula | : When Wolf!
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8,653 | 43 | When Wolf | : Dracula! You know why I'm here.
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8,654 | 43 | Dracula | : I'm safe here, Ian! Christianity hasn't been invented yet, crosses are just baby t's to me now! I got out. Please, don't invite me back in.
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8,655 | 43 | Morty | : Huh, kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff.
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8,656 | 43 | Rick | : You're right. It shows a lack of faith in their core concept. I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the 20's and invest in the stock market, but then eat people.
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8,657 | 43 | Morty | : Yeah.
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8,658 | 43 | Rick | : Look, if you really want to know what happened to Beth's mom, it–[his watch beeps] whoop. Squid aliens just killed a decoy family.
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8,659 | 43 | Beth | : Decoy family? You made more clones?
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8,660 | 43 | Rick | : Clones are, like, thirty-two percent of all sci-fi, sweetie. You don't get to own clones. Yes, I made some decoys. They're exactly like us, with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown.
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8,661 | 43 | Beth | : Do you just get hard creating sentient life?
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8,662 | 43 | Rick | : Actually, I get hard protecting my family!
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8,663 | 43 | Summer | : Ew.
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8,664 | 43 | Morty | : Ugh, gross!
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8,665 | 43 | Beth | : Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgängers. Cool deal.
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8,666 | 43 | Rick | : The decoys are harmless, Beth.
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8,667 | 43 | Summer | : Grandpa Rick, do the decoys know they're decoys?
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8,668 | 43 | Rick | : They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum-sum.
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8,669 | 43 | Summer | : So they think they're us?
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8,670 | 43 | Rick | : That's the deal.
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8,671 | 43 | Summer | : How do you know |
8,672 | 43 | Rick | : Oh, god! We might not be real! We might be decoys! Morty, quick!
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8,673 | 43 | Morty | : What do I do?
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8,674 | 43 | Rick | : My failsafe, Morty. My final, secret failsafe. It proves I'm real, you have to help me, I'd never joke about this. [He pulls his pants down and sticks his ass in Morty's face.] There's a barcode, Morty. A barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek.
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8,675 | 43 | Morty | : What?
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8,676 | 43 | Rick | : Morty, please, I'm begging you!
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8,677 | 43 | Morty | : I'm not looking at your ass!
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8,678 | 43 | Rick | : Please, Morty, is it there? God damn it! [He tears up.] Just tell me if I'm real!
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8,679 | 43 | Summer | : Morty, do it!
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8,680 | 43 | Morty | : Gross!
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8,681 | 43 | Beth | : Dad!
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8,682 | 43 | Rick | : Summer, you fucking idiot. We're not decoys.
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8,683 | 43 | Morty | : Why did I get punished?
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8,684 | 43 | Rick | : A, decoys don't build decoys, and B, you think the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me? Christ, I'm not your mom.
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8,685 | 43 | Beth | : Fuck off.
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8,686 | 43 | Rick | : Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad. Alright, here's the plan. We're gonna hide out with a decoy family, and when these squids show up, we jump their asses. Jerry! Come on! Family emergency!
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8,687 | 43 | Jerry | : A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting? They're gluten free, sugar free, and lemon free!
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8,688 | 43 | Decoy Rick | : Think you got the wrong house, bro.
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8,689 | 43 | Rick | : Analysis mode, password 8-0-0-8-5.
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8,690 | 43 | Beth | : Kind of expected a funnier password.
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8,691 | 43 | Rick | : I didn't plan on showing them off.
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8,692 | 43 | Morty | : [examining his decoy] Damn, like |
8,693 | 43 | Rick | : Yes, Morty, like |
8,694 | 43 | Summer | : Whatever, creep. I'm gonna see how accurate you got my room.
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8,695 | 43 | Morty | : Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean like, you know, an |
8,696 | 43 | Rick | : I know about the Yosemite t-shirt, Morty.
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8,697 | 43 | Morty | : Shit.
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8,698 | 43 | Rick | : You know you can use tissues, right?
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8,699 | 43 | Morty | : I can't finish without it.
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