Unnamed: 0
int64 0
9.62k
| episode no.
int64 1
51
| speaker
stringclasses 976
values | dialouge
stringlengths 1
1.81k
|
|---|---|---|---|
8,600
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Come again?
|
8,601
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Christian God is real, he's been asleep for thousands of years. We're gonna sneak up there and kill him.
|
8,602
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Mob style.
|
8,603
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Whack his ass.
|
8,604
| 43
|
Summer
|
: Can I kill God?
|
8,605
| 43
|
Rick
|
: [at the same time as Morty] Fuck off, Summer.
|
8,606
| 43
|
Morty
|
: [at the same time as Rick] Pfft, as if!
|
8,607
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Beth, do you hear this?
|
8,608
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Sweetie, don't get all worked up before your job interview.
|
8,609
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Job interview?
|
8,610
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Yes, is that so hard to believe?
|
8,611
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Actually, yeah. Something's off.
|
8,612
| 43
|
Beth
|
: No!
|
8,613
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Shit!
|
8,614
| 43
|
Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted
|
: Hunt me, hunt me, somebody hunt me!
|
8,615
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Don't hunt him to completion!
|
8,616
| 43
|
Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted
|
: Hunt me! [He continues to shout in the background as he jumps on the dining table.]
|
8,617
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Oh. Shit. Everyone start packing, no time to explain.
|
8,618
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Rick?
|
8,619
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Dad? What's wrong?
|
8,620
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Someone just killed a decoy family.
|
8,621
| 43
|
Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted
|
: I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted!
|
8,622
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay?
|
8,623
| 43
|
Morty
|
: You made clones of us?
|
8,624
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Decoys, Morty. Very different. [To Beth] Very different, sweetie.
|
8,625
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Different h-ow! [Rick pinches him.]
|
8,626
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Yeah, dad. Different h-ow?
|
8,627
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie. I'm cool, and it makes them feel bad. So, y'know, after that trouble with Space Beth, I made passable copies of the family and placed them around the country as a buffer zone to protect–
|
8,628
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: But why does he always want to be hunted?
|
8,629
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Jerry–
|
8,630
| 43
|
Morty
|
: It's not important right now, dad!
|
8,631
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Sure, guys. Rick can make secret decoys of the family and place them all around the country, but fuck me if I have questions about the starfish man in a target suit.
|
8,632
| 43
|
Summer
|
: So thankful this is my Saturday.
|
8,633
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Why was he in that cryopod?
|
8,634
| 43
|
Rick
|
: The cryopod is what confuses you? Jerry, can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes?
|
8,635
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Well, I don't see any stakes at all.
|
8,636
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Ah, shit!
|
8,637
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Guess we'll just be saying "
|
8,638
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Shut up and pack, Jerry. Squids just killed a decoy family.
|
8,639
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Decoy family?
|
8,640
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Is this why you wanted to get out of town?
|
8,641
| 43
|
Rick
|
: You think I'd lie to you about why we're on vacation, Morty? I wouldn't lie to you. [Morty glares at him.] Well, that's a lie. Huh.
|
8,642
| 43
|
Summer
|
: So someone out there is trying to kill us?
|
8,643
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Someone's always trying to kill us. That's what the decoys are for. They go on fun, self-contained terrestrial adventures, and–[a bomb smashes through the window] take bullets meant for us. Shit.
|
8,644
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: Ahhh! No!
|
8,645
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Ah, shit. Decoy family.
|
8,646
| 43
|
Morty
|
: I think dad was still outside. What's a decoy family?
|
8,647
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept. I've never really cracked it, if I'm being honest. Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead for another special episode!
|
8,648
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Oh, cool!
|
8,649
| 43
|
TV
|
: We now return to
|
8,650
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Woah, a time traveling wolf? Count me in.
|
8,651
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Yeah, I never thought of the "were" in "werewolf" like "who, what, when and where!" Clever wordplay!
|
8,652
| 43
|
Dracula
|
: When Wolf!
|
8,653
| 43
|
When Wolf
|
: Dracula! You know why I'm here.
|
8,654
| 43
|
Dracula
|
: I'm safe here, Ian! Christianity hasn't been invented yet, crosses are just baby t's to me now! I got out. Please, don't invite me back in.
|
8,655
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Huh, kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff.
|
8,656
| 43
|
Rick
|
: You're right. It shows a lack of faith in their core concept. I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the 20's and invest in the stock market, but then eat people.
|
8,657
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Yeah.
|
8,658
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Look, if you really want to know what happened to Beth's mom, it–[his watch beeps] whoop. Squid aliens just killed a decoy family.
|
8,659
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Decoy family? You made more clones?
|
8,660
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Clones are, like, thirty-two percent of all sci-fi, sweetie. You don't get to own clones. Yes, I made some decoys. They're exactly like us, with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown.
|
8,661
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Do you just get hard creating sentient life?
|
8,662
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Actually, I get hard protecting my family!
|
8,663
| 43
|
Summer
|
: Ew.
|
8,664
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Ugh, gross!
|
8,665
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgängers. Cool deal.
|
8,666
| 43
|
Rick
|
: The decoys are harmless, Beth.
|
8,667
| 43
|
Summer
|
: Grandpa Rick, do the decoys know they're decoys?
|
8,668
| 43
|
Rick
|
: They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum-sum.
|
8,669
| 43
|
Summer
|
: So they think they're us?
|
8,670
| 43
|
Rick
|
: That's the deal.
|
8,671
| 43
|
Summer
|
: How do you know
|
8,672
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Oh, god! We might not be real! We might be decoys! Morty, quick!
|
8,673
| 43
|
Morty
|
: What do I do?
|
8,674
| 43
|
Rick
|
: My failsafe, Morty. My final, secret failsafe. It proves I'm real, you have to help me, I'd never joke about this. [He pulls his pants down and sticks his ass in Morty's face.] There's a barcode, Morty. A barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek.
|
8,675
| 43
|
Morty
|
: What?
|
8,676
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Morty, please, I'm begging you!
|
8,677
| 43
|
Morty
|
: I'm not looking at your ass!
|
8,678
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Please, Morty, is it there? God damn it! [He tears up.] Just tell me if I'm real!
|
8,679
| 43
|
Summer
|
: Morty, do it!
|
8,680
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Gross!
|
8,681
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Dad!
|
8,682
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Summer, you fucking idiot. We're not decoys.
|
8,683
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Why did I get punished?
|
8,684
| 43
|
Rick
|
: A, decoys don't build decoys, and B, you think the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me? Christ, I'm not your mom.
|
8,685
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Fuck off.
|
8,686
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad. Alright, here's the plan. We're gonna hide out with a decoy family, and when these squids show up, we jump their asses. Jerry! Come on! Family emergency!
|
8,687
| 43
|
Jerry
|
: A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting? They're gluten free, sugar free, and lemon free!
|
8,688
| 43
|
Decoy Rick
|
: Think you got the wrong house, bro.
|
8,689
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Analysis mode, password 8-0-0-8-5.
|
8,690
| 43
|
Beth
|
: Kind of expected a funnier password.
|
8,691
| 43
|
Rick
|
: I didn't plan on showing them off.
|
8,692
| 43
|
Morty
|
: [examining his decoy] Damn, like
|
8,693
| 43
|
Rick
|
: Yes, Morty, like
|
8,694
| 43
|
Summer
|
: Whatever, creep. I'm gonna see how accurate you got my room.
|
8,695
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean like, you know, an
|
8,696
| 43
|
Rick
|
: I know about the Yosemite t-shirt, Morty.
|
8,697
| 43
|
Morty
|
: Shit.
|
8,698
| 43
|
Rick
|
: You know you can use tissues, right?
|
8,699
| 43
|
Morty
|
: I can't finish without it.
|
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