Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k | episode no. int64 1 51 | speaker stringclasses 976
values | dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k |
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8,800 | 43 | Beth | : [laughing] Oh my god! You are, aren't you? You're worried you might be fake!
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8,801 | 43 | Rick | : Sure, Beth. Try to love this more.
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8,802 | 43 | Beth | : Just glad you have to walk a mile in someone else's squid costumes.
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8,803 | 43 | Morty | : There's one. [He points to a nearby squid ship.] Hey, what're they mad at you for, anyway?
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8,804 | 43 | Rick | : Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything. Maybe jealous of my penis size, I had sex with their queen, my dick's too big, the list goes on and on.
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8,805 | 43 | Rick | : Alright, hey, one down! Probably, what, forty more to go? Forty-five? Should be pretty easy, unless killing them brings in a bigger bad or some kind of horrible mothership. Okay, let's loot their ship, find their weaknesses, be done by sundown.
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8,806 | 43 | Rick | : Huh.
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8,807 | 43 | Morty | : Wait, but if the squids are decoys and we dressed as squids...
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8,808 | 43 | Summer | : Well, I found their weakness. They don't fucking listen to me!
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8,809 | 43 | Rick | : Honestly, probably for the best.
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8,810 | 43 | Rick | : [laughing] Man, I'm good.
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8,811 | 43 | Beth | : Dad!
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8,812 | 43 | Rick | : Oh, shit. One of mine.
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8,813 | 43 | Morty | : Where are we going?
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8,814 | 43 | Rick | : Off grid, Morty. We're gonna live in the woods, like libertarians. We'll hunt rabbits and trade with, like, little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.
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8,815 | 43 | Summer | : That licks.
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8,816 | 43 | Rick | : We might be decoys, Summer. Everything about this licks.
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8,817 | 43 | Beth | : Oh, maybe now you'll empathize with the decoys you're killing!
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8,818 | 43 | Rick | : Wait, shhh. It's too quiet.
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8,819 | 43 | Summer | : You skipped quiet.
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8,820 | 43 | Rick | : I didn't skip shit. It's obviously quiet if it's too quiet.
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8,821 | 43 | Summer | : Yeah, but you're supposed to say–
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8,822 | 43 | Rick | : You know what, Summer, now it's not quiet enough!
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8,823 | 43 | Morty | : Where are we? Where's Rick?
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8,824 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : He's right here, Morty! [He appears in front of Morty, who yelps.] Oh, are we not happy to see grandpa? Does he look...different?
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8,825 | 43 | Jerry | : [at the same time as Morty] Oh, god!
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8,826 | 43 | Morty | : [at the same time as Jerry] Ugh, it stinks!
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8,827 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : Yes, recoil at the craftsmanship. I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born. Unlike you. Unlike them.
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8,828 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : You see, Ricks, they get lazy. There's always a shitty decoy towards the end. But those decoys made decoys too, and got lazy themselves. And far enough down the line...there be monsters.
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8,829 | 43 | Summer | : Ugh, we get it, you're ugly and mad about it.
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8,830 | 43 | Jerry | : [at the same time as Summer] Rick!
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8,831 | 43 | Summer | : [at the same time as Jerry] Grandpa!
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8,832 | 43 | Rick | : Kill me...[looking at Scarecrow Rick] if I ever get this arch.
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8,833 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : Hush, little decoy. Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh.
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8,834 | 43 | Beth | : You know what? You're a monster.
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8,835 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : I'm your father! At least, I can look more like him once I harvest all this yummy skin.
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8,836 | 43 | Rick | : This guy's really into skin.
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8,837 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : It's not all for me. A Rick provides for his family.
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8,838 | 43 | Scarecrow Beth | : Will I beautiful again, daddy?
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8,839 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon.
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8,840 | 43 | Scarecrow Rick | : What the–
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8,841 | 43 | Glockenspiel Rick | : Help the others!
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8,842 | 43 | Beth | : Why are you helping us?
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8,843 | 43 | Glockenspiel Rick | : Because we're all in this together. Come on! There's a place we can go!
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8,844 | 43 | Glockenspiel Jerry | : Hey, who needs all this war stuff? I found a can of varnish. This is a ticket to the world beyond the river!
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8,845 | 43 | Glockenspiel Summer | : Who wants that? I crave glorious death in decoy battle!
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8,846 | 43 | Glockenspiel Morty | : Also, y'know, depending on the varnish, might look like blackface.
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8,847 | 43 | Glockenspiel Jerry | : Excuse me for wanting to live.
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8,848 | 43 | Glockenspiel Beth | : Brothers and sisters, welcome to the cause. To |
8,849 | 43 | Decoy Summer | : Whatever.
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8,850 | 43 | Decoy Summer | : Asshole!
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8,851 | 43 | Glockenspiel Beth | : We are decoys. Brought into the world by an unloving god, and drive to destroy ourselves by the uncertainty he creates!
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8,852 | 43 | Decoy Rick | : I don't know if |
8,853 | 43 | Decoy Rick | : Sounds extreme.
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8,854 | 43 | Glockenspiel Beth | : But that violence ends today!
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8,855 | 43 | Decoy Jerry | : What about the squids?
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8,856 | 43 | Decoy Beth | : [at the same time as Decoy Summer] The squids are decoys!
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8,857 | 43 | Decoy Summer | : [at the same time as Decoy Beth] There were no squids!
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8,858 | 43 | Other Decoy Summer | : The squids are decoys who realized they're decoys and wanted to kill the other decoys.
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8,859 | 43 | Other Decoy Jerry | : Yeah, it is a lot.
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8,860 | 43 | Glockenspiel Beth | : We cannot let confusion divide us!
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8,861 | 43 | Decoy Morty | : Squids! Squids, of course, being shorthand for killer decoys!
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8,862 | 43 | Glockenspiel Rick | : Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel!
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8,863 | 43 | Glockenspiel Jerry | : I'm sorry, I didn't ask for this! I just wanna live! But there's only so much varnish! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
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8,864 | 43 | Beth | : How long before the other decoys find us?
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8,865 | 43 | Rick | : Sooner or later. Can't really run from it. Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look. It's Rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade.
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8,866 | 43 | Beth | : I'm just glad we're living to the fullest with the time we have left.
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8,867 | 43 | Summer | : [sighs happily] Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item. Who's next?
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8,868 | 43 | Rick | : Jerry? Bucket list?
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8,869 | 43 | Jerry | : I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark.
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8,870 | 43 | Rick | : Nope! Morty?
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8,871 | 43 | Morty | : I wanna ask a girl out at my weird New Mexico school.
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8,872 | 43 | Rick | : Shit. Sorry, buddy. Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming.
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8,873 | 43 | Morty | : They looked happy. Did we have to kill them?
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8,874 | 43 | Beth | : Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit!
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8,875 | 43 | Rick | : You're so mean today! I'm your dad, you like having me around!
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8,876 | 43 | Beth | : You keep putting us in danger!
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8,877 | 43 | Rick | : Whatever. This'll take forever, mind if I do something drastic?
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8,878 | 43 | Rick | : House, I need something quick. Can you whip up a |
8,879 | 43 | House | : You got it, babe.
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8,880 | 43 | Rick | : [to himself] Let's go, you little bitch. [He slaps himself.] It's showtime. [A projector descends from the ceiling and shines a blue light on his face.] Get centered.
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8,881 | 43 | Rick | : What up, you decoy motherfuckers? Come on down to Rick's house of squids, where I'm serving your ass on a platter! [A squid near the house takes off its helmet, revealing a Rick made of stone who draws a gun..] I know what you're thinking: "Fuck, a beacon! That's a great idea! He's got home turf, [a Smith family made... |
8,882 | 43 | Steve | : Sir, there seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes killing each other over the American Southwest.
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8,883 | 43 | The President | : Sounds exhausting. How many of those states voted for me, anyway?
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8,884 | 43 | Steve | : Mr. President, I think the point of the electoral collage is–
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8,885 | 43 | The President | : To preserve slavery? That's right, Steve. I have the internet too. Now take your white ass to the kitchenette and bring me a Diet Coke.
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8,886 | 43 | Rick | : Little out of character to say this right now, but you guys look really cool.
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8,887 | 43 | Morty | : We might be decoys, huh.
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8,888 | 43 | Rick | : One way to find out.
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8,889 | 43 | Second Rick | : Looks like it's calming down. You wanna get in one more "I told you so" about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is?
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8,890 | 43 | Second Beth | : Oh, fuck you.
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8,891 | 43 | Second Rick | : [rolls eyes] Whoa.
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8,892 | 43 | Second Beth | : No, you don't get to be annoyed with this! You treat life and family as so burdensome, and yet you created an ocean of us because you're terrified of losing either!
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8,893 | 43 | Second Rick | : Shit.
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8,894 | 43 | Second Beth | : Yeah.
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8,895 | 43 | Second Rick | : Look, Beth, I might not be the real Rick. But even if I'm not, he made me, or the me that made me. Which means somewhere inside of him is a version of Rick capable of hearing that. A version of Rick who's sorry. I'm sorry about the clone thing, too. I love you.
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8,896 | 43 | Second Beth | : Thanks, dad.I love you, too. You really think we're decoys?
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8,897 | 43 | Second Rick | : Eh. Who cares? We'll be the last ones left. Lucky that one did the beacon, this was gonna take weeks. [The beacon suddenly fizzles out.] Alright, let's mop up.
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8,898 | 43 | Second Beth | : Finally.
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8,899 | 43 | Second Rick | : Dressing as decoys too cute to murder. You know, I'm not sure it helped, but I'm glad we tried it.
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