Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
8,800	43	Beth	: [laughing] Oh my god! You are, aren't you? You're worried you might be fake!
8,801	43	Rick	: Sure, Beth. Try to love this more.
8,802	43	Beth	: Just glad you have to walk a mile in someone else's squid costumes.
8,803	43	Morty	: There's one. [He points to a nearby squid ship.] Hey, what're they mad at you for, anyway?
8,804	43	Rick	: Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything. Maybe jealous of my penis size, I had sex with their queen, my dick's too big, the list goes on and on.
8,805	43	Rick	: Alright, hey, one down! Probably, what, forty more to go? Forty-five? Should be pretty easy, unless killing them brings in a bigger bad or some kind of horrible mothership. Okay, let's loot their ship, find their weaknesses, be done by sundown.
8,806	43	Rick	: Huh.
8,807	43	Morty	: Wait, but if the squids are decoys and we dressed as squids...
8,808	43	Summer	: Well, I found their weakness. They don't fucking listen to me!
8,809	43	Rick	: Honestly, probably for the best.
8,810	43	Rick	: [laughing] Man, I'm good.
8,811	43	Beth	: Dad!
8,812	43	Rick	: Oh, shit. One of mine.
8,813	43	Morty	: Where are we going?
8,814	43	Rick	: Off grid, Morty. We're gonna live in the woods, like libertarians. We'll hunt rabbits and trade with, like, little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.
8,815	43	Summer	: That licks.
8,816	43	Rick	: We might be decoys, Summer. Everything about this licks.
8,817	43	Beth	: Oh, maybe now you'll empathize with the decoys you're killing!
8,818	43	Rick	: Wait, shhh. It's too quiet.
8,819	43	Summer	: You skipped quiet.
8,820	43	Rick	: I didn't skip shit. It's obviously quiet if it's too quiet.
8,821	43	Summer	: Yeah, but you're supposed to say–
8,822	43	Rick	: You know what, Summer, now it's not quiet enough!
8,823	43	Morty	: Where are we? Where's Rick?
8,824	43	Scarecrow Rick	: He's right here, Morty! [He appears in front of Morty, who yelps.] Oh, are we not happy to see grandpa? Does he look...different?
8,825	43	Jerry	: [at the same time as Morty] Oh, god!
8,826	43	Morty	: [at the same time as Jerry] Ugh, it stinks!
8,827	43	Scarecrow Rick	: Yes, recoil at the craftsmanship. I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born. Unlike you. Unlike them.
8,828	43	Scarecrow Rick	: You see, Ricks, they get lazy. There's always a shitty decoy towards the end. But those decoys made decoys too, and got lazy themselves. And far enough down the line...there be monsters.
8,829	43	Summer	: Ugh, we get it, you're ugly and mad about it.
8,830	43	Jerry	: [at the same time as Summer] Rick!
8,831	43	Summer	: [at the same time as Jerry] Grandpa!
8,832	43	Rick	: Kill me...[looking at Scarecrow Rick] if I ever get this arch.
8,833	43	Scarecrow Rick	: Hush, little decoy. Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh.
8,834	43	Beth	: You know what? You're a monster.
8,835	43	Scarecrow Rick	: I'm your father! At least, I can look more like him once I harvest all this yummy skin.
8,836	43	Rick	: This guy's really into skin.
8,837	43	Scarecrow Rick	: It's not all for me. A Rick provides for his family.
8,838	43	Scarecrow Beth	: Will I beautiful again, daddy?
8,839	43	Scarecrow Rick	: Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon.
8,840	43	Scarecrow Rick	: What the–
8,841	43	Glockenspiel Rick	: Help the others!
8,842	43	Beth	: Why are you helping us?
8,843	43	Glockenspiel Rick	: Because we're all in this together. Come on! There's a place we can go!
8,844	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Hey, who needs all this war stuff? I found a can of varnish. This is a ticket to the world beyond the river!
8,845	43	Glockenspiel Summer	: Who wants that? I crave glorious death in decoy battle!
8,846	43	Glockenspiel Morty	: Also, y'know, depending on the varnish, might look like blackface.
8,847	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Excuse me for wanting to live.
8,848	43	Glockenspiel Beth	: Brothers and sisters, welcome to the cause. To
8,849	43	Decoy Summer	: Whatever.
8,850	43	Decoy Summer	: Asshole!
8,851	43	Glockenspiel Beth	: We are decoys. Brought into the world by an unloving god, and drive to destroy ourselves by the uncertainty he creates!
8,852	43	Decoy Rick	: I don't know if
8,853	43	Decoy Rick	: Sounds extreme.
8,854	43	Glockenspiel Beth	: But that violence ends today!
8,855	43	Decoy Jerry	: What about the squids?
8,856	43	Decoy Beth	: [at the same time as Decoy Summer] The squids are decoys!
8,857	43	Decoy Summer	: [at the same time as Decoy Beth] There were no squids!
8,858	43	Other Decoy Summer	: The squids are decoys who realized they're decoys and wanted to kill the other decoys.
8,859	43	Other Decoy Jerry	: Yeah, it is a lot.
8,860	43	Glockenspiel Beth	: We cannot let confusion divide us!
8,861	43	Decoy Morty	: Squids! Squids, of course, being shorthand for killer decoys!
8,862	43	Glockenspiel Rick	: Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel!
8,863	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: I'm sorry, I didn't ask for this! I just wanna live! But there's only so much varnish! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
8,864	43	Beth	: How long before the other decoys find us?
8,865	43	Rick	: Sooner or later. Can't really run from it. Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look. It's Rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade.
8,866	43	Beth	: I'm just glad we're living to the fullest with the time we have left.
8,867	43	Summer	: [sighs happily] Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item. Who's next?
8,868	43	Rick	: Jerry? Bucket list?
8,869	43	Jerry	: I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark.
8,870	43	Rick	: Nope! Morty?
8,871	43	Morty	: I wanna ask a girl out at my weird New Mexico school.
8,872	43	Rick	: Shit. Sorry, buddy. Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming.
8,873	43	Morty	: They looked happy. Did we have to kill them?
8,874	43	Beth	: Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit!
8,875	43	Rick	: You're so mean today! I'm your dad, you like having me around!
8,876	43	Beth	: You keep putting us in danger!
8,877	43	Rick	: Whatever. This'll take forever, mind if I do something drastic?
8,878	43	Rick	: House, I need something quick. Can you whip up a
8,879	43	House	: You got it, babe.
8,880	43	Rick	: [to himself] Let's go, you little bitch. [He slaps himself.] It's showtime. [A projector descends from the ceiling and shines a blue light on his face.] Get centered.
8,881	43	Rick	: What up, you decoy motherfuckers? Come on down to Rick's house of squids, where I'm serving your ass on a platter! [A squid near the house takes off its helmet, revealing a Rick made of stone who draws a gun..] I know what you're thinking: "Fuck, a beacon! That's a great idea! He's got home turf, [a Smith family made of straw drawing a plan in the dirt turns to look at the hologram] a tacit psychological advantage, and absolutely pendulous balls!" [A squid in a ship removes its helmet, revealing it to be a robotic Rick, who pilots his ship towards the beacon.] And now you're thinking "shit, that's totally what the rick-est Rick would do! I might actually be fake! [A LEGO Rick driving in a car notices the beacon, does a U-turn and removes the top of his head, pulling a gun out from it.] I pretended I didn't care if I was, but I totally did! Now the only way to prove I'm real and not him is to ice his expository ass." [Several squid ships and flying cars fly towards the beacon.] Yup. So let's do it. Come get some. What? No, Morty, I'm gonna loop it. Why is it–
8,882	43	Steve	: Sir, there seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes killing each other over the American Southwest.
8,883	43	The President	: Sounds exhausting. How many of those states voted for me, anyway?
8,884	43	Steve	: Mr. President, I think the point of the electoral collage is–
8,885	43	The President	: To preserve slavery? That's right, Steve. I have the internet too. Now take your white ass to the kitchenette and bring me a Diet Coke.
8,886	43	Rick	: Little out of character to say this right now, but you guys look really cool.
8,887	43	Morty	: We might be decoys, huh.
8,888	43	Rick	: One way to find out.
8,889	43	Second Rick	: Looks like it's calming down. You wanna get in one more "I told you so" about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is?
8,890	43	Second Beth	: Oh, fuck you.
8,891	43	Second Rick	: [rolls eyes] Whoa.
8,892	43	Second Beth	: No, you don't get to be annoyed with this! You treat life and family as so burdensome, and yet you created an ocean of us because you're terrified of losing either!
8,893	43	Second Rick	: Shit.
8,894	43	Second Beth	: Yeah.
8,895	43	Second Rick	: Look, Beth, I might not be the real Rick. But even if I'm not, he made me, or the me that made me. Which means somewhere inside of him is a version of Rick capable of hearing that. A version of Rick who's sorry. I'm sorry about the clone thing, too. I love you.
8,896	43	Second Beth	: Thanks, dad.I love you, too. You really think we're decoys?
8,897	43	Second Rick	: Eh. Who cares? We'll be the last ones left. Lucky that one did the beacon, this was gonna take weeks. [The beacon suddenly fizzles out.] Alright, let's mop up.
8,898	43	Second Beth	: Finally.
8,899	43	Second Rick	: Dressing as decoys too cute to murder. You know, I'm not sure it helped, but I'm glad we tried it.

8,800

43

Beth

: [laughing] Oh my god! You are, aren't you? You're worried you might be fake!

8,801

43

Rick

: Sure, Beth. Try to love this more.

8,802

43

Beth

: Just glad you have to walk a mile in someone else's squid costumes.

8,803

43

Morty

: There's one. [He points to a nearby squid ship.] Hey, what're they mad at you for, anyway?

8,804

43

Rick

: Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything. Maybe jealous of my penis size, I had sex with their queen, my dick's too big, the list goes on and on.

8,805

43

Rick

: Alright, hey, one down! Probably, what, forty more to go? Forty-five? Should be pretty easy, unless killing them brings in a bigger bad or some kind of horrible mothership. Okay, let's loot their ship, find their weaknesses, be done by sundown.

8,806

43

Rick

: Huh.

8,807

43

Morty

: Wait, but if the squids are decoys and we dressed as squids...

8,808

43

Summer

: Well, I found their weakness. They don't fucking listen to me!

8,809

43

Rick

: Honestly, probably for the best.

8,810

43

Rick

: [laughing] Man, I'm good.

8,811

43

Beth

: Dad!

8,812

43

Rick

: Oh, shit. One of mine.

8,813

43

Morty

: Where are we going?

8,814

43

Rick

: Off grid, Morty. We're gonna live in the woods, like libertarians. We'll hunt rabbits and trade with, like, little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.

8,815

43

Summer

: That licks.

8,816

43

Rick

: We might be decoys, Summer. Everything about this licks.

8,817

43

Beth

: Oh, maybe now you'll empathize with the decoys you're killing!

8,818

43

Rick

: Wait, shhh. It's too quiet.

8,819

43

Summer

: You skipped quiet.

8,820

43

Rick

: I didn't skip shit. It's obviously quiet if it's too quiet.

8,821

43

Summer

: Yeah, but you're supposed to say–

8,822

43

Rick

: You know what, Summer, now it's not quiet enough!

8,823

43

Morty

: Where are we? Where's Rick?

8,824

43

Scarecrow Rick

: He's right here, Morty! [He appears in front of Morty, who yelps.] Oh, are we not happy to see grandpa? Does he look...different?

8,825

43

Jerry

: [at the same time as Morty] Oh, god!

8,826

43

Morty

: [at the same time as Jerry] Ugh, it stinks!

8,827

43

Scarecrow Rick

: Yes, recoil at the craftsmanship. I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born. Unlike you. Unlike them.

8,828

43

Scarecrow Rick

: You see, Ricks, they get lazy. There's always a shitty decoy towards the end. But those decoys made decoys too, and got lazy themselves. And far enough down the line...there be monsters.

8,829

43

Summer

: Ugh, we get it, you're ugly and mad about it.

8,830

43

Jerry

: [at the same time as Summer] Rick!

8,831

43

Summer

: [at the same time as Jerry] Grandpa!

8,832

43

Rick

: Kill me...[looking at Scarecrow Rick] if I ever get this arch.

8,833

43

Scarecrow Rick

: Hush, little decoy. Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh.

8,834

43

Beth

: You know what? You're a monster.

8,835

43

Scarecrow Rick

: I'm your father! At least, I can look more like him once I harvest all this yummy skin.

8,836

43

Rick

: This guy's really into skin.

8,837

43

Scarecrow Rick

: It's not all for me. A Rick provides for his family.

8,838

43

Scarecrow Beth

: Will I beautiful again, daddy?

8,839

43

Scarecrow Rick

: Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon.

8,840

43

Scarecrow Rick

: What the–

8,841

43

Glockenspiel Rick

: Help the others!

8,842

43

Beth

: Why are you helping us?

8,843

43

Glockenspiel Rick

: Because we're all in this together. Come on! There's a place we can go!

8,844

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Hey, who needs all this war stuff? I found a can of varnish. This is a ticket to the world beyond the river!

8,845

43

Glockenspiel Summer

: Who wants that? I crave glorious death in decoy battle!

8,846

43

Glockenspiel Morty

: Also, y'know, depending on the varnish, might look like blackface.

8,847

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Excuse me for wanting to live.

8,848

43

Glockenspiel Beth

: Brothers and sisters, welcome to the cause. To

8,849

43

Decoy Summer

: Whatever.

8,850

43

Decoy Summer

: Asshole!

8,851

43

Glockenspiel Beth

: We are decoys. Brought into the world by an unloving god, and drive to destroy ourselves by the uncertainty he creates!

8,852

43

Decoy Rick

: I don't know if

8,853

43

Decoy Rick

: Sounds extreme.

8,854

43

Glockenspiel Beth

: But that violence ends today!

8,855

43

Decoy Jerry

: What about the squids?

8,856

43

Decoy Beth

: [at the same time as Decoy Summer] The squids are decoys!

8,857

43

Decoy Summer

: [at the same time as Decoy Beth] There were no squids!

8,858

43

Other Decoy Summer

: The squids are decoys who realized they're decoys and wanted to kill the other decoys.

8,859

43

Other Decoy Jerry

: Yeah, it is a lot.

8,860

43

Glockenspiel Beth

: We cannot let confusion divide us!

8,861

43

Decoy Morty

: Squids! Squids, of course, being shorthand for killer decoys!

8,862

43

Glockenspiel Rick

: Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel!

8,863

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: I'm sorry, I didn't ask for this! I just wanna live! But there's only so much varnish! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

8,864

43

Beth

: How long before the other decoys find us?

8,865

43

Rick

: Sooner or later. Can't really run from it. Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look. It's Rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade.

8,866

43

Beth

: I'm just glad we're living to the fullest with the time we have left.

8,867

43

Summer

: [sighs happily] Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item. Who's next?

8,868

43

Rick

: Jerry? Bucket list?

8,869

43

Jerry

: I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark.

8,870

43

Rick

: Nope! Morty?

8,871

43

Morty

: I wanna ask a girl out at my weird New Mexico school.

8,872

43

Rick

: Shit. Sorry, buddy. Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming.

8,873

43

Morty

: They looked happy. Did we have to kill them?

8,874

43

Beth

: Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit!

8,875

43

Rick

: You're so mean today! I'm your dad, you like having me around!

8,876

43

Beth

: You keep putting us in danger!

8,877

43

Rick

: Whatever. This'll take forever, mind if I do something drastic?

8,878

43

Rick

: House, I need something quick. Can you whip up a

8,879

43

House

: You got it, babe.

8,880

43

Rick

: [to himself] Let's go, you little bitch. [He slaps himself.] It's showtime. [A projector descends from the ceiling and shines a blue light on his face.] Get centered.

8,881

43

Rick

: What up, you decoy motherfuckers? Come on down to Rick's house of squids, where I'm serving your ass on a platter! [A squid near the house takes off its helmet, revealing a Rick made of stone who draws a gun..] I know what you're thinking: "Fuck, a beacon! That's a great idea! He's got home turf, [a Smith family made of straw drawing a plan in the dirt turns to look at the hologram] a tacit psychological advantage, and absolutely pendulous balls!" [A squid in a ship removes its helmet, revealing it to be a robotic Rick, who pilots his ship towards the beacon.] And now you're thinking "shit, that's totally what the rick-est Rick would do! I might actually be fake! [A LEGO Rick driving in a car notices the beacon, does a U-turn and removes the top of his head, pulling a gun out from it.] I pretended I didn't care if I was, but I totally did! Now the only way to prove I'm real and not him is to ice his expository ass." [Several squid ships and flying cars fly towards the beacon.] Yup. So let's do it. Come get some. What? No, Morty, I'm gonna loop it. Why is it–

8,882

43

Steve

: Sir, there seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes killing each other over the American Southwest.

8,883

43

The President

: Sounds exhausting. How many of those states voted for me, anyway?

8,884

43

Steve

: Mr. President, I think the point of the electoral collage is–

8,885

43

The President

: To preserve slavery? That's right, Steve. I have the internet too. Now take your white ass to the kitchenette and bring me a Diet Coke.

8,886

43

Rick

: Little out of character to say this right now, but you guys look really cool.

8,887

43

Morty

: We might be decoys, huh.

8,888

43

Rick

: One way to find out.

8,889

43

Second Rick

: Looks like it's calming down. You wanna get in one more "I told you so" about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is?

8,890

43

Second Beth

: Oh, fuck you.

8,891

43

Second Rick

: [rolls eyes] Whoa.

8,892

43

Second Beth

: No, you don't get to be annoyed with this! You treat life and family as so burdensome, and yet you created an ocean of us because you're terrified of losing either!

8,893

43

Second Rick

: Shit.

8,894

43

Second Beth

: Yeah.

8,895

43

Second Rick

: Look, Beth, I might not be the real Rick. But even if I'm not, he made me, or the me that made me. Which means somewhere inside of him is a version of Rick capable of hearing that. A version of Rick who's sorry. I'm sorry about the clone thing, too. I love you.

8,896

43

Second Beth

: Thanks, dad.I love you, too. You really think we're decoys?

8,897

43

Second Rick

: Eh. Who cares? We'll be the last ones left. Lucky that one did the beacon, this was gonna take weeks. [The beacon suddenly fizzles out.] Alright, let's mop up.

8,898

43

Second Beth

: Finally.

8,899

43

Second Rick

: Dressing as decoys too cute to murder. You know, I'm not sure it helped, but I'm glad we tried it.