Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
8,900	43	Second Morty	: We're losing the costumes?
8,901	43	Second Summer	: Thank god, this decoy outfit smells like ass.
8,902	43	Second Rick	: Fuck you, Summer.
8,903	43	Second Rick	: Shit, that guy's awesome. Okay, listen, he might actually be the real Rick. But whatever happens–
8,904	43	Summer	: Wait! We don't have to do this. We're both Summers. Shouldn't we at least try molly before we die?
8,905	43	Second Summer	: You know what, yeah. Fuck this noise.
8,906	43	Second Summer	: Wait, I don't know who to shoot.
8,907	43	Both Mortys	: Summer!
8,908	43	Second Summer	: I can't deal with this. I had to kill myself. You have too, to.
8,909	43	Both Mortys	: Summer!
8,910	43	Rick	: Fuck you, I'm real! I'm the smartest man in the universe!
8,911	43	Second Rick	: Probably not even wrong. But that's just it. I'm not a man. I'm God!
8,912	43	Second Rick	: You're just made in my image.
8,913	43	Rick	: Fuck you.
8,914	43	Second Rick	: You the, uh, Summer I came with?
8,915	43	Second Summer	: Probably.
8,916	43	Second Rick	: Good enough. Morty?
8,917	43	Morty	: Yeah.
8,918	43	Beth	: I'm here, too.
8,919	43	Second Rick	: Holy shit, that was insane! I love you guys, I've totally changed!
8,920	43	Second Rick	: Oh, fuck.
8,921	43	Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted	: You shoulda hunted me.
8,922	43	Second Rick	: What? Who—were you significant? Like, did we tee you up? You want to be hunted? God, I have so many questions. Why? What happens if– [he dies.]
8,923	43	Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted	: Somebody hunt me!
8,924	43	Rick	: Pretty cool adventure, huh? Big, long road trip adventure through space? Even ran into Space Beth. Maybe that'll happen more often!
8,925	43	Space Beth	: Let's not overdo it.
8,926	43	Rick	: Oh, shit. Looks like someone killed the decoy family.
8,927	43	Beth	: [at the same time as Space Beth] Decoy family?
8,928	43	Space Beth	: [at the same time as Beth] Decoy what now?
8,929	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Hello?
8,930	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Oh, oh my god! Oh my god!
8,931	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: No! No, no no, no no no no no!
8,932	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Nooooo!
8,933	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Oh god. Yes, yes, sweet death.
8,934	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Why am I still alive? Oh, god. Is there anything left? Hello?
8,935	43	Woodpecker	: What is it?
8,936	43	Dolphin	: A relic...from a kinder past.
8,937	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Wait, cowboys?
8,938	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Christianity again?
8,939	43	Glockenspiel Jerry	: Oh god, why can't I die? This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone!
8,940	47	Morty	: Are we - are we gonna put it back when we're done with it?
8,941	47	Rick	: Why? The only thing of value on it is the secret treasure map. The rest is just instructions for running a country, and I'm pretty sure they're online.
8,942	47	Morty	: It just feels a little wrong -
8,943	47	Rick	: Morty, are you gonna be a fucking American nerd or are you gonna be cool and steal the constitution with Grandpa? Here, hold this while I crack the hermetic seal.
8,944	47	Morty	: W-Why not just use this again?
8,945	47	Rick	: Morty! You just destroyed the map and activated the giant assassin hidden in the Statue of Liberty!
8,946	47	Morty	: I'm sorry - W-wait, what?
8,947	47	Rick	: It was a Trojan horse, Morty. Never trust the French. Alright, fun's fun, but now the federal government's gonna be pissed again. Way to go. And on America's birthday or whatever the fuck Thanksgiving is.
8,948	47	Soldier	: Rick and Morty! You are under arrest and surrounded by an anti-portal shimmer! Come out with your hands up!
8,949	47	Jerry	: Well, happy Thanksgiving to me. Can't wait to see what a "shimmer" does to my prostate.
8,950	47	Beth	: Dad, can you just end whatever this is -
8,951	47	Rick	: I understand you're upset Mr. President. It's honestly all Morty's fault. But in the meantime, you really want to keep your army of pointlessly camouflaged Eagle Scouts off my lawn.
8,952	47	The President	: Don't tell me what I want you anti-American piece of shit! You terrorist!
8,953	47	Rick	: You know, you use that word so much it's lost all meaning, Mr. P. It's like, at this point, what's a terrorist? It's a guy you don't like. Big deal.
8,954	47	Rick	: Told you to stand down. You just lost two soldiers over here. Good men. Might be time to look at the terrorist in the mirror.
8,955	47	The President	: You want a war?! I'll put your outer-space ass in a goddamn Phantom Zone with a bar of kryptonite soap around your neck. You're done, Sanchez! You hear me?
8,956	47	Rick	: Oof. He's really pissed this time.
8,957	47	Summer	: Why don't you guys just fuck and get it over with.
8,958	47	Rick	: Okay, well thank you, Summer, but I think I've got a better option.
8,959	47	Beth	: Dad, no.
8,960	47	Rick	: Ehh, hands are tied, sweetie. I have to turn myself into a turkey and trick the President into giving me a Presidential turkey pardon.
8,961	47	Jerry	: Again? How many times have you done this?
8,962	47	Rick	: I don't know, Jerry, how many years have I lived here? Careful how you answer that.
8,963	47	Morty	: Geez, Rick, y'know, y-you've done this a lot. Don't you think the President might see it coming this time?
8,964	47	Rick	: He probably will, Morty. That's all part of the dance. In the past, I've inserted myself into the potential turkey pardonee population by brainwashing the presidential turkey wrangler prior to the ceremony.
8,965	47	The President	: But this time, the turkey wrangler's been euthanized and the turkeys will be transported by armored military vehicles.
8,966	47	Rick	: Vehicles manufactured by ghost corporations that I control.
8,967	47	The President	: Which we have audited.
8,968	47	Rick	: Allowing me access to...
8,969	47	The President	: Central computer...
8,970	47	Rick	: To track the...
8,971	47	The President	: Real armored transports, which he can never...
8,972	47	Rick	: Totally track and sneak aboard.
8,973	47	The President	: And even if he does, he'll be on a truck full of turkeys and fully armed marines.
8,974	47	Rick	: Who won't recognize me because the human eye is inherently face blind to turkeys.
8,975	47	The President	: Fortunately, those marines won't have human eyes. They'll have turkey eyes.
8,976	47	Dwayne	: Jesus ever-loving Christ, why don't you two just fuck and get it over with?
8,977	47	The President	: Careful, Dwayne. You're only Vice President because I need 10% of the white vote.
8,978	47	Dwayne	: There's a giant French assassin attacking New York, and you're using the war room to measure dicks with your alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend?
8,979	47	The President	: Rick Sanchez is more dangerous than some steam-powered French bitch, and New York can handle its own global emergencies. General? Initiate Operation Deep Gobble.
8,980	47	Mary Lou	: Coop, not on Thanksgiving.
8,981	47	Coop	: It's what I trained for, Mary Lou.
8,982	47	Mary Lou	: It ain't our fight.
8,983	47	Coop	: Baby. That little race car driver you got bakin' in your belly. What world would you want him rearin' up in? One where some... spiky-haired Doctor Who in a lab coat can change the color of the sky? Or a world where he can fill his pickup with hot dogs and drive it to a jukebox full of our demographic's current favorite music?
8,984	47	Mary Lou	: Obviously the latter, but --
8,985	47	Coop	: Well, that world, Mary Lou, the one with those meals, vehicles and songs people in this 30-mile area prefer... that world needs a few good men. In a secret Pentagon lab. Turning into turkeys.
8,986	47	Mary Lou	: You come back without feathers, Coop.
8,987	47	Bartender	: God, I love this country.
8,988	47	General	: These pills contain tracking chips that identify each of you as individuals. That will be important later.
8,989	47	Turkeyfied Marine 1
8,990	47	Turkeyfied Marine 2	: Let me look at you, scum. get outta here, you wobbleneck.
8,991	47	Turkeyfied Marine 3
8,992	47	Turkeyfied Marine 1
8,993	47	Mr President	: Stay frosty, gentlemen. I want this pardoning pipeline airtight.
8,994	47	Soldier	: Sir! We have hacked the garage door. We are in. Eyes on the bogey.
8,995	47	Mr President	: Or you've got eyes on a robot.
8,996	47	Soldier	: All due respect, sir, I know flesh when I see it!
8,997	47	Turkeyfied Rick	: Those flesh-covered [burps] robots should buy us some time. The pardonable turkeys should be on that truck. Ship, go stealth.
8,998	47	Turkeyfied Marine 1
8,999	47	Turkeyfied Rick	: Huh. Turkey Marines. The President came to play. Jam those two radios.

8,900

43

Second Morty

: We're losing the costumes?

8,901

43

Second Summer

: Thank god, this decoy outfit smells like ass.

8,902

43

Second Rick

: Fuck you, Summer.

8,903

43

Second Rick

: Shit, that guy's awesome. Okay, listen, he might actually be the real Rick. But whatever happens–

8,904

43

Summer

: Wait! We don't have to do this. We're both Summers. Shouldn't we at least try molly before we die?

8,905

43

Second Summer

: You know what, yeah. Fuck this noise.

8,906

43

Second Summer

: Wait, I don't know who to shoot.

8,907

43

Both Mortys

: Summer!

8,908

43

Second Summer

: I can't deal with this. I had to kill myself. You have too, to.

8,909

43

Both Mortys

: Summer!

8,910

43

Rick

: Fuck you, I'm real! I'm the smartest man in the universe!

8,911

43

Second Rick

: Probably not even wrong. But that's just it. I'm not a man. I'm God!

8,912

43

Second Rick

: You're just made in my image.

8,913

43

Rick

: Fuck you.

8,914

43

Second Rick

: You the, uh, Summer I came with?

8,915

43

Second Summer

: Probably.

8,916

43

Second Rick

: Good enough. Morty?

8,917

43

Morty

: Yeah.

8,918

43

Beth

: I'm here, too.

8,919

43

Second Rick

: Holy shit, that was insane! I love you guys, I've totally changed!

8,920

43

Second Rick

: Oh, fuck.

8,921

43

Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted

: You shoulda hunted me.

8,922

43

Second Rick

: What? Who—were you significant? Like, did we tee you up? You want to be hunted? God, I have so many questions. Why? What happens if– [he dies.]

8,923

43

Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted

: Somebody hunt me!

8,924

43

Rick

: Pretty cool adventure, huh? Big, long road trip adventure through space? Even ran into Space Beth. Maybe that'll happen more often!

8,925

43

Space Beth

: Let's not overdo it.

8,926

43

Rick

: Oh, shit. Looks like someone killed the decoy family.

8,927

43

Beth

: [at the same time as Space Beth] Decoy family?

8,928

43

Space Beth

: [at the same time as Beth] Decoy what now?

8,929

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Hello?

8,930

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Oh, oh my god! Oh my god!

8,931

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: No! No, no no, no no no no no!

8,932

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Nooooo!

8,933

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Oh god. Yes, yes, sweet death.

8,934

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Why am I still alive? Oh, god. Is there anything left? Hello?

8,935

43

Woodpecker

: What is it?

8,936

43

Dolphin

: A relic...from a kinder past.

8,937

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Wait, cowboys?

8,938

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Christianity again?

8,939

43

Glockenspiel Jerry

: Oh god, why can't I die? This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone!

8,940

47

Morty

: Are we - are we gonna put it back when we're done with it?

8,941

47

Rick

: Why? The only thing of value on it is the secret treasure map. The rest is just instructions for running a country, and I'm pretty sure they're online.

8,942

47

Morty

: It just feels a little wrong -

8,943

47

Rick

: Morty, are you gonna be a fucking American nerd or are you gonna be cool and steal the constitution with Grandpa? Here, hold this while I crack the hermetic seal.

8,944

47

Morty

: W-Why not just use this again?

8,945

47

Rick

: Morty! You just destroyed the map and activated the giant assassin hidden in the Statue of Liberty!

8,946

47

Morty

: I'm sorry - W-wait, what?

8,947

47

Rick

: It was a Trojan horse, Morty. Never trust the French. Alright, fun's fun, but now the federal government's gonna be pissed again. Way to go. And on America's birthday or whatever the fuck Thanksgiving is.

8,948

47

Soldier

: Rick and Morty! You are under arrest and surrounded by an anti-portal shimmer! Come out with your hands up!

8,949

47

Jerry

: Well, happy Thanksgiving to me. Can't wait to see what a "shimmer" does to my prostate.

8,950

47

Beth

: Dad, can you just end whatever this is -

8,951

47

Rick

: I understand you're upset Mr. President. It's honestly all Morty's fault. But in the meantime, you really want to keep your army of pointlessly camouflaged Eagle Scouts off my lawn.

8,952

47

The President

: Don't tell me what I want you anti-American piece of shit! You terrorist!

8,953

47

Rick

: You know, you use that word so much it's lost all meaning, Mr. P. It's like, at this point, what's a terrorist? It's a guy you don't like. Big deal.

8,954

47

Rick

: Told you to stand down. You just lost two soldiers over here. Good men. Might be time to look at the terrorist in the mirror.

8,955

47

The President

: You want a war?! I'll put your outer-space ass in a goddamn Phantom Zone with a bar of kryptonite soap around your neck. You're done, Sanchez! You hear me?

8,956

47

Rick

: Oof. He's really pissed this time.

8,957

47

Summer

: Why don't you guys just fuck and get it over with.

8,958

47

Rick

: Okay, well thank you, Summer, but I think I've got a better option.

8,959

47

Beth

: Dad, no.

8,960

47

Rick

: Ehh, hands are tied, sweetie. I have to turn myself into a turkey and trick the President into giving me a Presidential turkey pardon.

8,961

47

Jerry

: Again? How many times have you done this?

8,962

47

Rick

: I don't know, Jerry, how many years have I lived here? Careful how you answer that.

8,963

47

Morty

: Geez, Rick, y'know, y-you've done this a lot. Don't you think the President might see it coming this time?

8,964

47

Rick

: He probably will, Morty. That's all part of the dance. In the past, I've inserted myself into the potential turkey pardonee population by brainwashing the presidential turkey wrangler prior to the ceremony.

8,965

47

The President

: But this time, the turkey wrangler's been euthanized and the turkeys will be transported by armored military vehicles.

8,966

47

Rick

: Vehicles manufactured by ghost corporations that I control.

8,967

47

The President

: Which we have audited.

8,968

47

Rick

: Allowing me access to...

8,969

47

The President

: Central computer...

8,970

47

Rick

: To track the...

8,971

47

The President

: Real armored transports, which he can never...

8,972

47

Rick

: Totally track and sneak aboard.

8,973

47

The President

: And even if he does, he'll be on a truck full of turkeys and fully armed marines.

8,974

47

Rick

: Who won't recognize me because the human eye is inherently face blind to turkeys.

8,975

47

The President

: Fortunately, those marines won't have human eyes. They'll have turkey eyes.

8,976

47

Dwayne

: Jesus ever-loving Christ, why don't you two just fuck and get it over with?

8,977

47

The President

: Careful, Dwayne. You're only Vice President because I need 10% of the white vote.

8,978

47

Dwayne

: There's a giant French assassin attacking New York, and you're using the war room to measure dicks with your alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend?

8,979

47

The President

: Rick Sanchez is more dangerous than some steam-powered French bitch, and New York can handle its own global emergencies. General? Initiate Operation Deep Gobble.

8,980

47

Mary Lou

: Coop, not on Thanksgiving.

8,981

47

Coop

: It's what I trained for, Mary Lou.

8,982

47

Mary Lou

: It ain't our fight.

8,983

47

Coop

: Baby. That little race car driver you got bakin' in your belly. What world would you want him rearin' up in? One where some... spiky-haired Doctor Who in a lab coat can change the color of the sky? Or a world where he can fill his pickup with hot dogs and drive it to a jukebox full of our demographic's current favorite music?

8,984

47

Mary Lou

: Obviously the latter, but --

8,985

47

Coop

: Well, that world, Mary Lou, the one with those meals, vehicles and songs people in this 30-mile area prefer... that world needs a few good men. In a secret Pentagon lab. Turning into turkeys.

8,986

47

Mary Lou

: You come back without feathers, Coop.

8,987

47

Bartender

: God, I love this country.

8,988

47

General

: These pills contain tracking chips that identify each of you as individuals. That will be important later.

8,989

47

Turkeyfied Marine 1

8,990

47

Turkeyfied Marine 2

: Let me look at you, scum. get outta here, you wobbleneck.

8,991

47

Turkeyfied Marine 3

8,992

47

Turkeyfied Marine 1

8,993

47

Mr President

: Stay frosty, gentlemen. I want this pardoning pipeline airtight.

8,994

47

Soldier

: Sir! We have hacked the garage door. We are in. Eyes on the bogey.

8,995

47

Mr President

: Or you've got eyes on a robot.

8,996

47

Soldier

: All due respect, sir, I know flesh when I see it!

8,997

47

Turkeyfied Rick

: Those flesh-covered [burps] robots should buy us some time. The pardonable turkeys should be on that truck. Ship, go stealth.

8,998

47

Turkeyfied Marine 1

8,999

47

Turkeyfied Rick

: Huh. Turkey Marines. The President came to play. Jam those two radios.