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- Giles? - Is it Johnny Giles? - Is it Johnny Giles? Can you give us a name, Mr. Revie? Can you give us a name? - When are we there? - Any moment now. On the right. - There it is! - It's there, Dad! Where are you going? - Brian! - Brian! Stop! - Dad? - You missed it. There's something else to do first. It won't take long. We welcome Brian Clough who starts his job as manager of Leeds United... taking over from Don Revie... the most successful manager in club history... - under whom Leeds won everything. - Not quite everything. Not won the European Cup. But pretty much everything else. - Daunted? - Daunted? Not at all, Austin. Looking forward to it. The biggest challenge of your life... and you'll be without Peter Taylor for the first time... - a lifelong professional colleague. - Yes, Pete's at Brighton now.
He had the opportunity to come with me. But Brighton was his choice, Leeds was mine. A surprising choice, some might say... because you've been very vocal... in your criticism of them over the years. I have. You've accused the players of dirty tactics... cheating, dissent, foul play. You've called Norman Hunter Norman " Bites Yer Legs" Hunter. Peter Lorimer falls when no one touches him. - And I was right. - But I'm curious. Why do you now show such alacrity to joining them... after such vituperative criticism of them for so long? Goodness. It will take me half an hour to explain all those words for a start. Football is a beautiful game, Austin. It needs to be played beautifully. I think Leeds have sold themselves short. They've been champions, but they've not been good champions. In the sense of wearing the crown well. They've not been loved. But then, you know, that's hardly surprising given... the type of operation that's been in place there. "That type of operation"? I presume you're referring to Don Revie... who has long been regarded as a father figure in Leeds. Now you're coming in as the outsider... the enemy, even, after all the things you've said in public. Coming in and taking over as a stepfather. Wouldn't you expect some degree of resentment to this? I would accept... and expect a strangeness... initially. Perfectly normal. But it won't be long before they realise I'm a fair man... a kind man. I'm a warm man. And maybe under me... they can experience what it's like to be in a happy family after all. But how can you be sure they weren't happy with Don all along?
Well, they wouldn't have played football that way if they were happy. - Brian! - Brian! - Brian! - Brian! Hey, get out of the way! Now, out you go, lads. Where have you been? The directors been waiting for over an hour. Brian, what's it like to be at Leeds? It's a pleasure to be here... and I'm looking forward to a very good... long - lasting relationship with Leeds United. There you go, young man. Thanks very much. Will Peter Taylor be joining you at Leeds, Mr. Clough? Wait there a second. - Wait here a minute. - Morning, lads. Lovely Yorkshire weather. It makes me wanna jump on a plane right back to Majorca. Thank you very much. There are very important people waiting. Can't keep them waiting. Not much of a welcome, is it? - Not a smile from Johnny Giles. - You're 5 days late. And did you really have to say that about Majorca? He was Revie's first choice to get your job. - Who? Johnny Giles? - Aye.
Was he now? And Bremner? Club captain. Don's son and heir. You'll never get any love out of him. - Great. - Come on, boys. Here's to happy fucking families. It should be just round here. I want you two to behave for your elderly Uncle Jimmy, all right? - See you. - Come in, Brian. Sit down there, lads. What? No one gonna offer me a drink? Like an undertaker's in here. Why did you do it? Do what? The interview for Yorkshire Television. We've had a phone call. Not so much a phone call, more a bloody tirade. From Don. He quoted some of the things you said. " How unhappy the players were under him." "What bad champions." - Looking for the response. - Bloody got one as well. - He's gone berserk. - He had it coming. He shouldn't have done that piece in the Mirror about me.
Saying he thought I was a daft choice. - Well, he's entitled to his opinions. - I'm entitled to mine. And I'm entitled to mine. I hired you to do this job... because you're the best young manager in this country. Thank you. I'm the best old one too. I also did it... under the assumption... that you would be coming here wanting the best for this club. For the city of Leeds. So why do I get the feeling this is all about you and Don? Of course it's just about me and Don. Always has been. But instead of putting frowns on your foreheads... you elders of Leeds in your blazers and your brass- fucking- buttons... it should put big white Colgate smiles on your big white faces. Because it means I won't eat, and won't sleep... until I've taken whatever that man's achieved, and beaten it. Beaten it so I never have to hear the name Don- fucking - Revie again. Beat it. The only name anyone sings in the Yorkshire ale houses... raising their stinking jars to their stinking mouths... is Brian Clough. Brian Clough uber- fucking- alles. Understand? Number 25. Manchester United- - Number 41. will play Tottenham Hotspur. - Number 22. - Come on, Pete. - Derby County- - - Derby County, second division. Here we go, that's us. will play...
- number 6, Leeds United. - Against the mighty... - Leeds! - Leeds! Leeds! Good God! Don Revie's Leeds! - Don Revie's Leeds - I don't believe it. Top of Division 1, here we come! What do you say to that, Mr. Chairman? I can hear the cash registers now. Happy days, sir! Happy days! You've done well, Brian. Take your family out for a meal. Go to the Mumtaz. Tell them it's on me. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Put the fish and chips in the bin. Tonight's on Uncle Sam. We're going posh. Chicken bhuna in town! Come on, Simon. Get your gloves, Simon. Get your coat on. - Leeds United! - Leeds! Right, you two, I want Billy Bremner and Johnny Giles... to be able to read that. Come on.
And this door has gotta be fit for Donald Revie to walk through. Well, chop - chop. There you are. Right, ladies. Spick- and- span, remember. Wash these walls down. Give the floors a proper polish. I'll be back! Come on, off you go! I want it perfect. Like a fucking carpet. We've got proper footballers coming... who know how to keep the ball on the deck. Well, you can't fucking train on it then. What a joker. Come on, Kev, keep on your man. Pass it! Yeah, yeah, again. Again. You know, he'll be making a file on us. A dossier. - Who? - Don Revie. Prepares a file on every game. Leaves nothing to chance. Knows every opponent's formations, strategies, everything. I've heard he's a superstitious twat. We grew up just a few streets apart in Middlesbrough... close to Ayresome Park. He'll have known my street, Valley Road. Probably bought sweets from Garnett's factory where me dad worked. I heard he wears the same suit to every game.
His lucky blue suit. Best manager in the country, Don Revie. Played for Sunderland, like me. A centre forward like me. - And England like me. - Give it and go! Peas in a pod, me and Don. 2 peas in a bloody pod. Right, you saw that? That's the way you do it! They're here. Well, almost. Pass it! Move! I want Billy to sign my autograph book. What are they doing? Ran out of petrol, boss. No. It's that superstition, ain't it? Every away Cup tie... Revie makes them walk the last hundred yards. Soppy twat. Billy! - Billy! Billy! - How are you doing there? All right? All right? Mr. Giles, quick picture! Mr. Revie!
Welcome to Derby, Don. A pleasure to meet you. I'm- - I'm Brian Clough. Hello. Yeah, hello, hello. It's the 3rd round of the FA Cup. Here we go. It's Derby County against Leeds United at the Baseball Ground. Come on, boys! Derby County in the white shirt... very much the underdogs... as they face the First Division champions. Playing today in their away strip of dark blue shirts and yellow shorts. Remember what I said. Giles dispossessed by Hector. Well, the atmosphere is absolutely electric. But the pitch, as ever at Derby... in poor condition and heavily sanded. Giles. Oh, that's a strong challenge on McFarland. That was diabolical! Diabolical! There have been question marks about some of Leeds players... intimidating referees. And it looks like McFarland is out of the match. That don't look good. - You all right, Brian? - Yeah. Leeds with the free kick. Delivered deep. Oh, here's Clark e. He's unmark ed at the back post. Leeds lead by one goal to nil!
Well played, Billy. Giles with the corner. Bremner. Fucking close him down! Bremner's gone down! - What? - There didn't appear to be any contact! - The referee has given a spot- kick. - He never fucking touched him, ref! He dived! He fucking dived! Well played, Billy. And that penalty spot... is lost somewhere in the middle of a desperate patch of mud. And it's 2 - nil. Leeds have won it now! Don Revie sending a clear message to his rivals. Leeds is still very much the team to beat. - Unlucky, unlucky. - Derby totally outclassed. And for Brian Clough and Peter Taylor... it's been a sobering afternoon. Didn't say goodbye. Or pay me the respect of staying for a drink. Couldn't wait to get away. Well, he cheats and all. Neither of those goals should've been allowed. We're just gonna have to beat him, Pete. Beat him if it's the last thing I do. Thanks a lot, boss. - After you, Billy. - Mr. Bremner, was that a dive?
We need to get up into the same division first. We need someone with a good head. - Experience. - I know. Our lot were like headless chickens. First thing Monday morning... I want you to go and find me that player, a wise head. - We haven't- - - No worry about money. That's my problem. Just you go and find him. Well, Simon's eaten up his mashed potato. Not now, love. Please. But it might be Pete. - Pete. - Of course it's Pete. - Yeah, of course it's Pete. - Don't be cheeky, Nigel. But it might be important. Come on, eat your carrot soup for your mother. - Hello? - You asked me to find a player... with a good head, experience. Well, I found one. He's perfect. Dave Mackay. Dave Mackay. He - He's 150. - I admit he's not young. Not young.
He's old as bloody time. But, oh, he's clever, Brian. Keeps the ball well, passes it better than anyone alive. Pete. That's enough. Come back. He's the one, Brian. Are you sure? Never been more sure of anything in me life. All right. I'll talk to Longson in the morning. Haven't got till morning. Hearts have already made him an offer. Want him as their manager. Apparently, the terms have been agreed. Well, what did you bloody call me for then? Because when I asked Bill Nick how done the deal was... he said 99% Meaning he hasn't signed. Exactly. Right, Brian, that's enough. Come and sit down. Your dinner's getting cold. Brian? Love? Come on. Open. There you go. - Where will we play him, then? - Somewhere he can see everything. Use his loaf, tell the kids what to do.
- Play him at sweeper. - Aye. He won't have to run about so much now, will he? Fat bastard. What's all this I hear about a tie shop? He got a tie shop, ain't he, in London, which he spends 2 days a week at. Fucking tie shop? It's his little nest egg for the future. No one will be wearing fucking ties in 20 years' time. I hope his footballing brain is better than his business brain. Hey. Here, come on. Get it down. Open. You know, it's illegal to sign someone on the Sabbath. Is it? Well, perhaps you should just shake on it today. And sign for it tomorrow. What? And let Hearts in again in the morning? Fuck off. I'm not leaving here without a signature. God, you'd bloody do that too wouldn't you? Come all this way just to shake hands. Dear, oh, dear. What would you do without me? Hey, you wouldn't have found him if it weren't for me. Good job we're both wearing ties. Jehovah's Witness, Dave. May the Lord be with you.
- Who the bloody hell are you? - My name's Brian Clough. I've the pleasure of playing for England against you... in an under - 23 match. I remember you now. You had a black eye. A right bloody shiner. You never stopped fucking talking. What are you doing here? I've come to talk to you about the promised land. A land of milk and honey. A little place up the M1 called Derby. May we come in? Aye. - Come on, lads! - Knees up. That's it. That's it. Come on. It's supposed to hurt. - Faster. Come on. - Come on, get those knees up. Dave Mackay. - You don't sound happy, Uncle Sam. - I'm not. What were you thinking going over my head? Why didn't you call? Because you'd have said no. Bloody right I'd have said no. The man's bloody crocked.
Pete reckons he's good for 3 more years. Is he, fuck. He's broken more bones than Eve the Knieve. Trust me, Mr. Chairman. It's money well spent. Who the fuck are they? That'll be Messrs. McGovern and O'Hare. - Hello. - Hello. Where did they come from? Me old stomping grounds, Hartlepools and Sunderland. Very reasonable too. Just doing what's best for the club. That'll be my club, Brian. My club. 5- a- sides. - Okay, lads. - Come on, move! Move now! - Mr. Mackay, over here. - Hey, you all right, fellas? Give them a smile. Pretend you're happy to be here in Derby. If you lot don't perform for us, I'll feed you to these guys, all right? - Who's got the prettiest face here? - The one in the middle. - I think it's Dave Mackay, isn't it? - I'm not answering that question. That's nice football, lads. Well done!
Now you're thinking about it! Let's play some football! Let's play some football! You're a genius, Pete. Bloody genius. How did you see it? Don't know. It's just obvious. McGovern in midfield. Mackay at the back. O'Hare up front. It's the skewer, isn't it? In the shish kebab. Beautiful. A thing of fucking beauty. - Hey, get off. - Come on! That's the way! Dave Mackay. Out to McGovern. Oh, he hit it just right! O'Hare! And it's there! Yes! Come on! Durban back to McGovern. McGovern with the shot. Durban. It's in! Oh, and a magnificent goal!
And it's a goal! O'Hare and Hector in the penalty area. O'Hare. Beautiful football! Yes! Come on! It was all so easy. - Yeah! - That's it. Derby win the Second Division. It's a magnificent achievement for Brian Clough's team. Go on, Brian. Fill it up. Fill it up. Shush, shush, look, look, look. Look. For Leeds to win the First Division title... being named Manager of the Year really is a dream come true. I've a lot of people to thank. I've had a lot of support, all year. Yeah, you enjoy it, Don. Go home, put your feet up and enjoy it. There's a good lad. Because we'll be in the First Division next season. And we're gonna have you! - Yes! Yes! - We're with you! Come on, boys. Let's go. That's it.
Right. Better go and make myself known. Behave yourselves. Right. See you, lads. - See you. - See you. All right, gentlemen, gather around, please. Well, I might as well tell you now. You lot may all be internationals... and have won all the domestic honours there are to win... under Don Revie. But as far as I'm concerned, the first thing you can do for me... is to chuck all your medals and all your caps and all your pots and pans... into the biggest fucking dustbin you can find. Because you've never won any of them fairly. You've done it all by bloody cheating. Mr. William Bremner, you're the captain and a good one. But you're no good to the team and no good to me if you're suspended. I want you fit for every game. And I want good, clean, attractive football from my captain... starting next week at the Charity Shield. And you, Irishman. God gave you skill, intelligence and the best passing ability in the game. What God did not give you was 6 studs... to wrap around another player's knee. Now, things are gonna be a little different around here... without Don. Might feel strange at first. Might pinch a little like a new pair of shoes. But... if you want your grandchildren to remember you... as being something other than the dirty buggers you once were- - If you wanna be loved as real champions... worthy champions... you're gonna have to work and improve... and change. Now... let's start off by playing some 7- a- sides. Mr. Revie never made us do that. Well, I'm not Mr. Revie. From now on, I don't wanna hear that name again ever. Next player who mentions it or what he did or didn't do in the old days... will spend a week cleaning my boots.
7- a- sides. Keep it nice and clean. Hey. And sensible. No 50I50s. Right. I'll play meself. You might learn something, Irishman. 251 goals in 274 starts. I'd like to see Don- fucking - Revie do that, eh? - First seven over here. Come on. - There you go. - Hope he's ready. - Come on, pal. Let's do it. Yes, Irishman, I'll have it here! I see nothing on, nothing on. Back to you, back to you! Go, lad, come on! Billy will have it, Billy will have it! Give it to Billy. - Yes, come on, Billy. I'm free! - Here, come on! - Close him down, close him down! - Come on. - Get that. Come on.
- Come on. Hey, 50I50, Norman. You deaf or what? - Jesus. - Good tackle. What's the matter with you? He said no 50I50s. - What are you gonna do? Book me? - Yes, I will. You're a bunch of fucking bullies. It's a fair challenge, Norman. Fair play. Up. Up. Easy, easy. Come on. 1, 2. Pass and move. - Okay? - Yeah. "251 goals in 274 starts." - "Goals." - "Goals." He should've stayed with Peter Taylor. I've heard he's the one with all the talent anyway. Well, I'll tell you. He's no Don Revie. Best team in the country, Leeds. Best players. Best stadium. Best backroom staff.
Best everything, really. Right. Last time, there was a whole division between you and Leeds. Not now. Not today. Today we're here as Second Division champions. And equals with Leeds. John McGovern and Billy Bremner, equals. - Kevin Hector and Johnny Giles. - Equals. Good lad. Equals. Alan Hinton and Peter Lorimer... - equals - Equals. John O'Hare and Paul Madeley. - Equals! - Now, come on. Chins up, chests out. - We can take this lot. Come on! - Come on! Equals, yeah! - Come on! - Go! Get out there! - Come on. Get it, lad! - Come on! - Come on, Leeds.
- Come on. Well, it's an achievement for Derby, being promoted to the First Division. But the truth is... Leeds United have the habit of reminding them... just how far they still have to go. They made us look like fools today. I mean, our boys... What was O'Hare doing? Letting Madeley bully him like that, pushing him around. Madeley's half his bloody size. O'Hare needs to toughen up. He's from the Scottish dockyards, isn't he? What about McGovern? He was useless in the middle. Whose idea was that? Yours. Good lad. He was all over the place. Like the wandering Jew. Giving the ball to anyone but his own. We need a ball player. A natural in midfield... who can hold on to it, keep possession. Giving it away too easily. Someone like... Colin Todd. Oh, now you're talking. Lovely pair of feet. I've heard he wants out of Sunderland too. They're all jumping ship up there. Go on, sign him then. What?
We can't. Longson's already told us. " Club's in debt." Having said that, Derby had moments. They played some football. They were brief moments perhaps, but they did play some football at times. - But when you come up... - Oh, bollocks to that! I didn't get us all the way to the First Division... so we could sit there mid-table and be cannon fodder for sides like Leeds. Sign the man. Hang on, hang on. Brian- - I'll handle bloody Longson. Oh, you are a disgrace! For missing the target from there, you want bloody shooting! Now, get in there! That's what I pay you for! 170 grand for Colin- fucking - Todd? Correction, "The Almighty" Colin Todd. Best technical footballer in the country. And his salary's 300 quid a week? We can't pay a footballer that. That's the way things are going, Uncle Sam. Football's all about money now. I told you never to go over my head again. I had no choice. Windows opened up. You were in the bloody West Indies. Windows?
- You mean, there are others? - Messrs. Gemmill and Hennessey. Oh, for fuck's sake. Let me ask you a question, Uncle Sam. What'd you come into football for? Support the football club of my hometown. The club I've supported all my life. Well, I'm sure we all admire your loyalty. I didn't come to be lectured by some cocky little twat from the North East. The way I see it, there's no point being in this game... unless you want to beat the best. And be the best. That's all the people of Derby want. If you really have their interest at heart- - Not just impressing your friends in the director's box. I suggest you keep your eyes on your road haulage business. Keep your opinions to yourself and start signing some fucking cheques. There's a good lad. Leave the running of this football club to the professionals. Well, professionals don't run the football club, Brian. The chairman does. If it's true football is all about money, that's the way it's going... well, that suits us chairmen just fucking fine. Because we're the ones who've got it. - Come on, to feet! - Okay, come on. Do it. That's it, lads! Frighten the shit out of them. Now, what was it last time? 5- nothing. Was it 5- nil?
We'll hit double figures this time. - I'm taking the first penalty. - It should be a smash- and- grab event. I see they've driven all the way into the car park this time. Isn't a Cup game, is it? Tosser. Hey, shut up, shut up. Come on. All right. Right. He's coming. Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! - You know what your job is today? - Yes, boss. Stay in position. Keep the shape. Stop being the wandering Jew. Good lad. Enjoy it. You deserve to. You've worked hard. This week.
Do you know what you're doing today? Be big, be strong. Any chance I get... - flatten Paul- fucking- Madeley. - Good lad. He bullies you, you bully him back. - Near post those corners we worked on. - Yes, boss. Now... come on! Come on, Derby! Come on! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! Come on, Derby! And? 2 - 1. You clever, clever, clever bastard. You should've seen O'Hare's first. Turned Bremner inside out. Beautiful. I tell you what, Brian. If we can beat this lot, we could go all the way. Oh, yeah! And back again, John Radford with him. O¡¦Hare! Ceaseless Derby pressure.
McGovern! Oh, yes! How'd you define your approach to management... apart from being brilliant? - Good lad. - 2 in the middle. O¡¦Hare! How do you react when someone says, "Boss, you're doing it wrong"? Well, I ask him how he thinks it ought to be done. And then we get down to it and we talk about it for 20 minutes. And then we decide that I was right. O¡¦Hare! And with that, Derby County are the champions of England! It's an extraordinary story. I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the country. But I'm in the top one. Some fella in London, England, named- - Some Brian- - Brian Clough. I heard all the way in America that this fella talks too much. They say he's another Muhammad Ali. There's just one Muhammad Ali. Now, Clough, I've had enough. Stop it. - Are you gonna stop it? - No, I'm going to fight him. The twin towers of Wembley Stadium. The cathedral of English football. Good afternoon, everyone. It's the Charity Shield. The opening Saturday of the 1974 season.
And our first chance to get a look at Leeds... under their new manager, Brian Clough. - Will you be supporting Leeds today? - You'll expect nothing less... having been the manager for 13 years. Fact is, I'm here today as England manager. Any words of advice for your successor before his first game? Win. The people of Leeds are used to winning. - Thanks, Dave. - Thanks, Don. Right. Right, gentlemen, thank you! Team today is Harvey in goal. Reaney, Cherry, Bremner. My captain. McQueen, Hunter, Lorimer, Clarke. Jordan, Giles and Gray. Obviously, all eyes will be on us to see how things have changed. Without Don. What might be different under me. Let's show them some of the things we've been working on. Our changes in attitude... to a new outlook. New discipline. New approach. Let's see some of you playing with a smile. There on his right, the man who takes over from Don Revie... Brian Clough, who has one championship to his credit... with Derby County. Brian Clough, starting I suppose at the top. Not a bad way to open your account with your new team at Wembley. Oh, beautifully played, Keegan. Got to hit it now.
There's a chance on here and it's block ed. Boersma's shot. And that look ed very much like a right hook by Johnny Giles. That was shocking. Keegan has been poleaxed and it was a right hook. That's a terrible foul. A minute afterwards, watch as Bremner... appears to pat him with his left hand. That right hand in the kidneys. And then down on the floor, for no reason whatsoever. And Keegan's gonna get his little bit of revenge there with a right cross. Surely, we've got to get away from this. And Kevin Keegan, having words with the referee. It rather looks as though the referee has taken stronger action. Bremner is off, and he's absolutely livid about it. For fuck's sake. They're both throwing their shirts down. And really, this is a side of English football... a face of English football we do not want to see. To dismiss the referee's authority in such a manner... cannot be good for the game. So the Cup winners... beat the League champions. William Bremner... your conduct in the Charity Shield match was deplorable... and cannot be tolerated. We understand Leeds United are taking disciplinary action... against you internally. However, the Football Association has to be seen to make an example. We have therefore decided to impose a fine of 500 pounds. Thank you. And a suspension until September the 30th. What? September 30th? That's over a month. That's 6 bloody weeks. I'll make it 7 if you carry on with language like that.
Come on. Double the fine. Treble it. Anything. Just don't suspend him for that long. Gentlemen. He's my captain. Hey, he's the best player I've got. Hello? I suppose you've heard. Suspended for 11 bloody games. Well, you're buggered. Billy Bremner's the heart and soul of that team. Plus, Mick Jones and Eddie Gray are injured. Well, like I said, you're buggered. What do I do, Pete? I need new players. Tell me who to buy. No, Brian. No one scouts players like you, Pete. You're the best. We can sort this place out together. You and me. Turn it around. It's too late, Brian. I'd have helped you once, but not now. Not after what was said. We're on our own now, remember? Each man for himself? And I think it would be better if you don't ring here again.
These are heady days for Brian Clough's Derby County... champions of England. They have the biggest night in the club's history coming up in Turin... in only 4 days' time. The semi-final of the European Cup against Juventus. But first today, they've got quite a tricky challenge. They face Leeds United whom they unseated... as the First Division champions at the end of last season. Leeds, one would imagine, will have revenge on their mind. Get me today's team sheet, could you, Joe? There's always been a strong, some might say unhealthy... rivalry between the 2 teams... and the managers in particular. It's well known there's no love lost between Don Revie and Brian Clough... What's up, Uncle Sam? A bit below stairs for you here, isn't it? Taken a wrong turn somewhere? Just seen the team sheet. Hinton, O'Hare, Todd, Mackay, that's our strongest side. Of course it's our strongest side, it's Leeds United. Would you prefer I send out the apprentices? We're at Juventus midweek, semi - final of the European Cup. Biggest night in the club's history. Couldn't you field...? What? You know. A weaker side? Am I hearing right? Is the chairman of this football club... seriously asking his manager to lose? You know what I'm saying. Against their biggest rivals? The chairman of this football club... is asking his manager to be pragmatic... and manage his resources. Prioritise. We've just embarked on a huge programme of refurbishment. Improvement.
New stand. Better floodlights. We need a good run in Europe to pay for it. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear a word of this. You've still got an hour before kick - off. I'd reconsider if I were you. I wouldn't want my employer to be unhappy. My employer? Chairman of Derby County. Chairman long before you ever showed up. Oh, that's right. You were chairman of Derby County before I came here. I remember that. When Derby County were at the fucking foot of the Second Division. When nobody had heard of them for 20 years... and nobody had heard of Sam- bloody - Longson ever. Full stop. And that's where you'd still fucking be if it wasn't for me. At the foot of the bloody Second Division... where nobody remembered you... and nobody had heard of you. There would be no Derby County without me. No League title. No champions of England. Not without Brian Clough. I'm gonna give you some good advice, Brian Clough. No matter how good you think you are or how clever... how many fancy new friends you make on the telly... the reality of footballing life is this: The chairman is the boss, then comes the directors... then the secretary, then the fans, then the players... and then finally, last of all... bottom of the heap, the lowest of the low... comes the one, who in the end, we can all do without... the fucking manager. What are you doing, Brian? You are a bloody disgrace! Hey, Bremner, you should be in the bloody book for that! - Come on.
- Look at this! Fucking come on then, you bastard! You see what your lads are doing? They don't deserve to be on the same pitch as my lads. Brian. Good luck in Europe. Peter, good luck in Europe. You fucking knobheads. Derby was unlucky, I can tell you. You bloody fool. - Are you disappointed, Mr. Clough? - Disappointed, not a bit. My players were heroic out there tonight. Effectively, we were playing the Italian champions with a reserve team. Many of my first team are injured thanks to the brutality of Leeds United. This happens when you have a chairman... who authorises a multi- million- pound refurbishment of the Directors' Box... and hospitality suites before he pays for a proper squad. It depends on your priorities, players or prawn sandwiches. I know which I'd prefer. I know which honest working - class Derby supporters would prefer too. What I am say- - We're taking you into hospital now, love. Don't worry, okay? Heart attack, eh? Been having it for 3 weeks, they reckon, one way or another. They ran all sorts of tests on me. I told them the only thing they need to know... was that I share my professional life with Brian Clough. That seemed to satisfy them. I'm only half joking, you know. - We still got jobs? - We have.
Longson has tried to put a gagging order on me, of course. "Any further utterances in public... or media appearances by Brian Clough... will be met with instant dismissal." Take notice and act accordingly. Would you like to hear my contrite reply? - Go on, then. - Written a letter to the board. You and I feel it is impossible to continue our good work... with Derby County. We therefore wish to tender our resignations with immediate effect. What? What do you think? I don't want to resign. Don't worry, they won't let us. We just won them the Championship. But it'll strengthen our position and force them to get rid of Longson. Oh, no. No, Brian, they'll never do that. He's chairman- - Look, I can't do it, Pete. I can't work with me hands tied. A chairman telling me what I can and can't do? You're picking the wrong enemy, Brian. The enemy's not Longson. It's Revie. And this obsession with Leeds. Don't be daft. We won the league, Pete. We're top dogs in Derby now, Longson can't stand it. - That's the problem. - No, it's not. It's you.
This mad ambition. It comes and it goes. Sometimes it's good. Oh, yes. Like a fire that stirs everything up. Then there's this. This thing that takes over. Destroys everything that's good in your life. Please, Brian. Please tell me that this letter is just a draught. You've not sent it. I'll be out in a couple of days. Let me talk to them. You'll all get the chance to say whatever it is you want to say in due course What are you doing? You weren't supposed to accept our resignations. Shouldn't bloody well offer them, then, should you? Look, you can't get rid of us. It'd be a disaster for the club. For the whole of Derby. You can't keep shooting your mouth off the way you have been... and issuing these ultimatums. With great reluctance... your resignations have been accepted. Look, you can't do this. - It's madness. - The decision stands. Car keys on the table and out. We're gonna create a footballing dynasty here. Derby could be one of the greats. Alongside United, Liverpool, Leeds. Now!
And don't dare show your face here again. We've just heard that the controversial former manager... of First Division Derby County, Brian Clough... has been sack ed with his assistant, Peter Taylor. The drama at Derby started in the streets outside the ground... just before kick - off. 3 quarters of an hour before the match. And there in the stand is Brian Clough. And listen to the crowd. We want Clough! We want Clough! The chairman there answering the catcalls of the Derby crowd. A big mouth, but he's a good manager. We don't want to lose him and we bloody lost. He might show off a bit sometimes, but he's brilliant. - He brought this team up. - Nobody on this world to touch him. - I think it's terrible. - You think- - ? Yeah. The club will come to an end, I think. Derby County players have officially now joined the protest... against the sacking of manager Brian Clough. - Off to bed. - The plotting's been done in black out... as the power cuts put in force by Prime Minister Edward Heath continue. Quiet, quiet. "To the directors of Derby County Football Club. We, the undersigned players, are unanimous... in our support and respect for Mr. Clough... and Mr. Taylor. And ask that they be reinstated... as manager and assistant manager with the club." - Yeah. - "Signed by... Signed by: John O' Hare, Roy McFarland, Colin Todd, Kevin Hector. - Alan Hinton...
- But not Dave Mackay. Who's just accepted the job. What? Dave Mackay? It's in the evening paper. I signed that fat fuck. Saved his professional life, gave him 2 years as a player. Dave Mackay. He wouldn't fucking dare. What have you done, Brian? I love this place. I'm happy here. So were you. It's not over yet, Pete. Lawyers are issuing a writ tomorrow against Longson. The players have called a meeting. There's talk they're going on strike. There's protest marches arranged for this weekend. Why didn't you keep your mouth shut? Hello, Derby - 220. We're never gonna find another place like this again. Brian, it's Mike Bamber on the phone. - Who's Mike Bamber? - I don't know. Chairman of Brighton and Hove Albion. Good. This way. Big smiles, lads. The Johns are back in town, eh? I've known this one since he was 16.
This one just plays like he's 16. - Are you gonna buy any more- - ? - This one, Duncan McKenzie. Take your hands out of your pockets, son. Remember that name, 28 goals last season. How many are you gonna get this year? Just more than 28, really. Yeah. That's why I got you. Not for your quick wits, for your quick boots. I think I scored 28 goals in one game once. But they're gonna do the job. They'll be the saviours of Leeds United, this lot. Lads. What you buy them for? A little poof and a pair of reserves. Waste of bloody money. Duncan McKenzie scored 28 goals last season. John O'Hare and John McGovern are both internationals. We've got 2 strikers. Allan Clarke and Mick Jones. They're internationals too. Yeah, one's injured and the other suspended. If you spent a bit more time on the training ground... you wouldn't have to waste money buying Derby rejects. I mean, we have a game on Saturday, against QPR. Or had you forgotten? No, I hadn't forgotten. Well, you haven't told us a single thing about how QPR are gonna play. Mr. Revie would've had files and dossiers prepared. Had the reserves playing the Rangers' way.
The first team looking out for this and that. Bollocks to Don Revie! You're professional footballers. Stop Stan Bowles. That's all you need to know about QPR. And I don't have to justify myself to you not how or when I conduct training... not who I buy or pick to play. No. No, not to us. But come Saturday afternoon, there'll be 40,000 people out there... who you do have to justify yourself to. - Hello? - You must be loving this. Loving every minute. Who is this? Watching it all fall apart. It's Brian Clough. What? They won't play for me. Your boys. Your bastard sons. And never will. What are you talking about? It's... It's 2:00 in the morning. Why are you ringing here? They're loyal to you. Thought you might like to know that. Loyal to big daddy Don. For God's sake, go to sleep, man. Where's your dignity? And don't ring here again.
Look, the pub's just down there. Not far to go. - No, no. - Just down there. Oh, I don't like to be Beside the seaside Hey, give it a chance. Brighton and Hove Albion? Have you seen where they are? Bottom of the Third Division. We can get them out of there like that. We did it with Hartlepools, with Derby. We cared about Hartlepools and Derby. We're from the North, Pete. What do we care about Brighton? Bloody Southerners. Look where we are. - We're almost in France. - Hey. They've got money, this lot. And ambition. Get a lungful of that air, eh? Be good for me health. You can't manage a team that's not your own people. Not what you know. Anyway, the protest movement in Derby is still in full flow. - We can still get our jobs back. - No, we won't. It's over, Brian. It's over, mate. They're never gonna take us back.
Not now. Come on. Sign today, and I'll give you a bonus of 7 grand. Each. 7 grand? You hear that, Brian? Plus, a salary that exceeds by 20% what Derby were paying you. Very generous, Mike. Terrific. But those are First Division wages. First Division is where I want this club to be. You sure you can afford it? You sure you're worth it? Cheeky sod. - We're gonna need a holiday first. - Take as long as you like. 2 weeks, somewhere hot, on you. I'll even throw in the bloody trunks. Right. Hey, come on. You get over there. Come on. Champions of the world. Peter. Hi. Brian! Come on. You're a hard man to find, Mr. Clough. Who's looking? Keith Archer.
I'm secretary of Leeds United Football Club. - Nigel, come on. - Let me have a go. I wanna have a go. I was sent by my chairman, Mr. Cussins. He wants me to speak to you face- to- face. Bloody hell. But we hate Leeds. It's the top flight, Pete. It's the First Division. But we gave Brighton our word. And they paid us the money. We can give back the money. Bollocks to bloody Brighton. I'd go mad. We'd all go mad down there. - Mike Bamber's a good man. - Oh, do me a favour. Look, he had faith in us. He offered us a job when no one else would. He offered us a job. Now someone else has offered us a better one. And not just anyone, the best team in the country. Come on, Pete. That means it'd be the Charity Shield at Wembley in a month's time. You know, European Cup after. But even if we won them, they'd be Revie's achievements. His team. No, I gave Brighton my word, Brian. I can't do it.
What? And you'd sooner fester down there with all those bloody Tories in that blue - rinse retirement home by the sea? Brighton's a small club, I'll give you that. - Bloody midgets. - But at least we'd be together. You and me, Brian. We can build them up. Make them our own. Like we did with Hartlepools, Derby- - Then? - What? - Liv. - Uh, just give us a second. - I mean, who does that? She's finally gone completely crazy. Not that I'm surprised at all. - I mean, she's always been nuts. - I know. And messing with our couple style? - There is no way I'm letting her get away with that. - Good. You know who I feel sorry for is Daniel. He's not even gonna be able to control his own wife. What? - No, I'm just saying... It's Liv. Because she never thinks about... - And? - I'm going inside. - What?
The final month before the big day is a litmus test for couples ofhow they work together, solve problems, communicate. The early, happy glow is over, and the nerves begin to set in. With some couples, it brings out the fundamental conflicts in their relationship. With other couples, the lucky ones it highlights the essential harmony of their partnership. Of course, even the luckiest bride needs something to take the edge off. Ooh, for me! AJolly Walrus cookie bouquet. Is Daniel a keeper or what? I'd just be careful. Miss Wang is a stern mistress. Video montage... If there's gonna be live pictures and, like, video footage... I know. It's, like, verging on being a digital short. I don't know how they're gonna cut me out of the footage. I'm in everything. Oh, this came for you via messenger. I can't wait to get into this one. Mr. Simmons called again asking for the update on the agreement. - Rutherford Press? That's my hometown. - I'm just gonna take this. Suppose I should just tell them you're dealing with a crisis? Oh, my God. They still print engagement announcements. I'm sort of like a celebrity back there, probably. You know, it's like, local girl makes good. Such sweet people. - Oh, wow! - What the?
That's not you. Is it? Emma looks gorgeous. - But not on the inside, which is... - Kevin. It's the best she can do, huh? - So lame. She wants to play dirty? I can play dirty. You can play dirty. I've seen you do it. I went to law school, people. I'm starting to think that 30 is the cutoff. - Mmm. - Because it's the last time men want to date women their age. A 30-year-old guy will date a 30-year-old girl. But a 35-year-old guy wants someone 30. A 40-year-old guy wants someone 30, too, or 28. - Mm-hmm. - It's a terrible planet. I know. You know what I was wondering? What are the real reasons behind Emma and Fletcher having to tie the knot? Why can't they change their date? Think about it. She's pregnant! Emma's pregnant! Oh, no. - Oh, no! - Liv?
Are you all right? What the hell is goin' on? Look, let me ini I gained five pounds. Five pounds. It might as well be 50! The dress doesn't fit! And if the dress doesn't fit my wedding's gonna be a big black hole in the history of the Plaza! Well, "A "it's our wedding, hon. And " B"... So what? Let it out. You don't alter Vera Wang to fit you. You alter yourself to fit Vera. - What do boys learn in school? - Sorry. It's not the end of the world. Really. What-What-What can I do to make you feel better? It's what you can stop doing. This is all your fault. - It's sweet of you to send me those treats, but I... - What treats? You know, the treats. The Truffle-opolis. The truffle tray. TheJolly Walrus cookie bouquet? International Butter Club? The... Honey...
I didn't send you any of that. Oh, my God, Emma! She's trying to make me fat so I can't fit into my dress! What is that? What is that? The International Butter Club? You mean, you've actually been sitting around eating sticks of butter from different lands? The final week before the wedding is do-or-die. I expect my brides to be flawless. Perfect hair, skin, nails, everything. Hello there. I need to get to the back really fast. Really, really fast, because I left something there yesterday. - It's very important that I... - I so don't care. Go on back. - Miss Allan. - Oh, hi. Hi. Bit of Honey today? That's the one I loaded. Yes, but, uh, just a pre-wedding glow. - Sure thing. - Okay, thanks. I wish you well... I hope you survive... I hope you live on, baby... So I can watch you cry... 'Cause I know in time you'll see... What you did to me...
And you'll come runnin'back... I'm gonna rain on your parade... Oh, I won't take it again... And I'll keep raining, raining, raining... Over you... Wow! What happened to you? You look like a traffic cone. Will it fade? Sort of. This is three loofahs. Is it that bad? Fletch said he didn't think it was that bad. Oh, well, honey, "Filch" is your fiancé. He probably told you you had nice hair too. This wedding stuff is not a walk in the park. - For sure. - I'm surprised. I don't know. I'm surprised I haven't been, you know, sent into my therapist's office. That's what I've heard. T-U-F-F. You should have heard me on the phone the other day... - Talking to the guy who messed up my centerpieces. - Oh, gosh. It was unbelievable. It's like one thing after another, every single time. - It snowballs. - Listen, can I get a little bit more lowlight? Yeah, especially right here.
Hold that thought, sweetie. I'm gonna get your color. Just make sure it's not so... Like, more gold base. I'm gonna rain on your parade... No, I won't take it again... And I'll keep raining, raining, raining over you... Maybe I should take up chanting. I think it's kind of... Might be necessary at this time of my life. - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. Is it good? Great! I get to do noth... Okay. I-I don't know what happened. Um... I gotta let it sit for a day or two. Maybe I'll try to strip it down to white. My hair's blue! It's blue! I have blue hair! - I'm getting married in a week. - Congratulations. In a week! A week! Come on. I know you're in here. Ah, here's your video montage.
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Fletch? Bug? Do you have something you need to tell me? - Um... - Are we about to have a little orange baby? Apparently we're registered at Babies "R" Us. Isn't that nice? Marissa. Where are you? I can barely hear you. I can't believe you told Emma. Whatever. You guys, don't get too attached to the dancers. They're paid to be nice to you. - Yeah! - New York and Japan... Hello, bride! All right, all right. Now a little birdie has just told me that we have a bride-to-be in the house tonight. - Over here! - But she has been a very bad bride. Officer Not-Your-Husband is here to arrest youI I'm a model, You know what I mean... - And I do my little turn on the catwalk - You're under arrest for being too sexy. Time to be frisked. Oh, my goodness! Great!
We got two brides in the house tonight! Whoa. Whoa, whoa. Hold upI We have two brides in the house tonight. Emma, this party is invitation only. I'm getting married too, baby! Well, I'll invite you right up there. - DJ Jazzles invites bride number two up on stage. - Why not? Come on up here, girlI We want to see the way you moveI That's what I'm talking abouti Work it out, girlI You can't even let me have my own bachelorette party? Much the way you couldn't let me have DJ Humble. That was low, Liv. By the way, did you hear? I'm not pregnant, okay? I say it's time for a dance-off. Dance-off! Dance-off! Dance-off! Dance-off! Dance-off! You say I'm so crazy... - Coming home intoxicated - Oh! Oh! - I say I just want to love you - Come on, LivI I just wanna love you, baby...
- Aw, come on, Liv. - Come on, bride number one. - I know y'all can do better than that. - Give it to me, baby... Sprockets! Break it downI Now the sexiest bride takes first prize. Let's see itI We gonna get this party started, y'allI ShowdownI Space! Check out bride number twoI They be watchin'while we wiggle around Look at 'em droolin' They ain't used to this sound I keep 'em movin' All my ladies put your hands in the air It's all right now... We gon'keep you up on your feet the whole night now... Pop them bottles Yeah, drink that up, man... Got you feelin'crazy Well, that was the plan... They was waitin'for me Wasn't ready for this... He got the game sewed up No, I'm talkin'bout Swiss... Why would you try... We got 'em shakin'everything from the hood to Dubai... Bride number two, you are the sexiest bride of the night, baby. Give it up for bride number two, y'allI Sorry, bride number one. Can't win 'em all, girl. It's weird, losing. I gotta say I'm not loving it. No, but you were both so good. Yeah, you really got up there, and you tried. - Forget it.
It's my bachelorette party, right? - Yes. Good girl. Here you go. It's like you read my mind. Oh, my God! Taxi! Taxi. Kevin. Kevin. I need coffee. Excuse me. I need coffee. I need three Advil. Yeah. Four waters. Get a splash of that Kahlúa next to wherever that paralegal is. - Hey, Elana. - Good morning. - You work too hard. I'm gonna treat you to lunch. - Okay. - Where are you, Kev? Are you in the office? - I hear you coming. Liv? - Liv, blue! Hair! - Hey, Advil. You have blue hair!
Oh, my God. I totally forgot. I was supposed to get it dyed back at 7:00. I think it's very... It's gonna be... They're gonna love it. I got it. I'm gonna figure it out. If we could all refer to the briefs I've drawn up. I've highlighted a few main points. Our discovery process in depositions and document requests maybe you guys could share that one... has yielded significant results. W - W-Wait. Okay. I am looking at the brief dated two weeks ago. - Where is the latest version? - I could have sworn that I updated these. Just a second. Goddamn it! Your hair. Yes, my hair. My hair... is blue! My hair is blue. My wedding's in a week, and I'm paying my maid of honor. Okay? Or rather Mr. Colson is. And, yes, maybe I misplaced the briefl. And, yes, maybe my best friend in the world forever hates me! Hates me!
Oh, my God. I'm gonna be a bald bride. It's so not ideal. This is who's representing us? Not anymore. Miss Lerner's off the case. I'm taking over. No, now look, calm down. I'm gonna get it dyed back. Miss Lerner. You are excused. I'm not this girl. I just don't screw up. I just don't get demoted. It's like I don't have anybody. I feel so alone. Hey. Babe, I'm right here. You miss your friend, especially now. She'd know just what to say. I'm mad at her too. She went for the hair. Girlfriends don't do that. You'll fix it. And if you can't, I love it. I do. You're like this very tall, very hot Smurf. Oh, honey. It's not just about the hair. I'm mad because maybe she's right.
And it's exhausting having to try to be perfect all the time. That's how I held it together ever since I was a kid. Ifigured nothing... Nothing bad would happen again if I was just one step ahead of everything and everybody, all the time. Life isn't perfect, hon. It's messy. You're right. I mean, I was gonna be perfect for you but now that you say it's impossible... Hey. No, you don't. No, you don't have to be perfect. I've always wanted a human wife. Yeah, the other ones are just... too hard to inflate. - Hey. - Hey. - Almost back to normal, huh? - I know, right? I have, like, one layer of skin left, but that should be okay for our wedding. So, oops, sorry, Liv. I wish I had pictures. You know? It's like I was up there, and there's this spotlight, and when I hit that rope... - Oh, my God! - Hey! Enough, enough, enough! I've heard this story 10,000 times, Emma. You've been acting a little wild lately. Okay? And I'm tired of it.
So knock it off. Lately you've been very mad and tense and excited. You know what? I just don't know how to deal with this. - Uh-huh. - And quite frankly, you have me questioning whether or not this is something about... To do with the wedding or if this is permanent. Um, well, Fletcher, it is kind of permanent. You know? It is possible that I might be mad or tense or excited more than once in the next 40 years. Is it? Really? You know what? You're doing it right now. - What? - You're being, not, I mean, not bitchy, but... I said " not bitchy." But you're right there in that neighborhood. You should have the cab, like, take a U-turn drop you off at Pleasant and Nice, where we met. Are you upset because of this thing with Liv, or because I'm having feelings? - Totally. - Because it's kind of hard to read you. My God! That's totally it. I'm upset because you have feelings. You nailed it. Okay. So in other words, then don't have so many feelings, but if I do, don't show 'em. - I shouldn't have so many... - Oh, God! I can't even talk to you right now!
You haven't tried yet. Do you realize... Do you know how hard this is for me? - I don't even know who you are. - You have not even tried to ask me about how I'm feeling. - I'm so confused. - I don't even know who you are. All right? I don't want to talk. It's a tense time. We're fine. Whatever. I was gonna go to the gym. Bye. The blank pages of my diary... That I haven't touched since you left me... - Emma? - The closed blinds in my home... - Emma! Emma! - See no light of day... Dust gathers on my stereo... 'Cause I can't bear to hear the radio... The piano sits in a shady space... With a picture of your face... Coffee stains on your favorite book... Liv Lerner's office. Hey, Kevin. It's Emma. Is Liv there?
I'm sorry, can you hold on? Just a minute, I... Sorry. It's my worst nightmare. I'm " cubicle-ized." I'm sorry, Liv's dealing with a crisis right now. Can we return? Fine. That's... Yeah. Okay, I get it. Bye. - Hey! I'm sorry. Who is this? - I'm scared to face another day... - Hello? - 'Cause the fear in me just won't go away... In an instant, you were gone... And I'm scared... Hey! Hi! - How are you? - Long time, huh? - I know. It's my fault. I've been really busy. - Oh, yeah. Right. Busy.
Nothing to do with the fact that I'm the brother of your archenemy. I mean, best friend. Hey! I have to rent a tux. You're coming with me. Come on. - Um, okay. - Come on. I'm a little surprised. I would have thought a big magazine writer would have his own tux. How you doing, Em? Hmm? How you feeling? Um, feel fine. Fine's not really a feeling though. Fine's a feeling. "I feel fine." You could say that. People say that. Yeah, sure. You can say that. Okay. It's, like... Things are crazy with the wedding. And there are all these details and... I don't know. I had this idea of how it was gonna be in my head, and... - And it's not as much fun as that. - Mm-hmm. And I don't know why. But mostly, I am fine.
Let's fix your tie. I can't look at a tie like this. - Yeah. Change the subject. - This doesn't look right without a tie. I'm gonna go with a clip-on 'cause I can't figure this out. - You have no patience. - Really? Mm-mmm. Kind of think I wait around too long. Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee. Oh, um, I-I can't. I'm late for, um... But I'll call you. Um, when I'm not... You... That... You look, um, you look really... You're gonna make a very handsome bride " giver-awayer." Thank you. And, Em, you're gonna make a beautiful bride. Really. - Yeah? - Yeah. I always thought so. Thanks. Bye. Despite it all, when morning broke on that sixth ofJune it was the perfect day for a wedding. Well, two weddings. T
- Minus three hours, people. Guard your camps, execute your duties, and we may make it out of here alive. Incoming, people. Roses for Lerner. Peonies for Allan. - Has the Allan officiant reported for duty yet? - Yes, he has. - Linens for Lerner? - Yes. Excellent. Let's move, people. This is not a dress rehearsal. Amazing. You can't even see the blue anymore. Oh, Liv. My God, you're the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Thank you. Oh, uh, excuse me a sec. She's so weird. God, I'm so nervous. I don't know why. - Is the veil supposed to go like that? - Yes. Why? Oh, no. You look fine. You know, honestly, the pressure we put on brides these days to look perfect. It's just ridiculous. You don't have to look your most beautiful on your wedding day. Okay, everybody?
Mom! You know, if you want my opinion... You know what, Deb? I don't. I don't want your opinion. Wh-What? Deb, I have been dealing with versions of you my whole life and I'm gonna tell you something that I should've told myself a long time ago. Sometimes it's about me, okay? Not all the time, but every once in a while it's my time. Like today. If you're not okay with that, feel free to go. But if you stay, you have to do your job. And that means smiling and talking about my bridal beauty and, most importantly, not making it about you. Okay? Can you do that? Yes, I'd like to. Then we're good. Harpist is Allan. Quartet is Lerner. How many times do I have to repeat myself? - Check on the grooms' status and man your battle stations. - Okay. If you're about to jump ship from one wedding let someone else know so we can create a diversion. - Okay. - I'm going to Liv's ceremony and Emma's reception. More booze. I'm gonna do a quick head count of the hot drunk single guys and then choose. - Good call. - Allan. Lerner.
Hey, Mr. Allan. How are you? - I'm good, bud. How're you? - Big day, huh? Yes. Yes, it is. I caught a glimpse of Emma when I was scouting out the enemy camp. She is beautiful, sir. Thank you, Nathan. Listen, you think I could have a word with your sister? - Not about the-the fight, about something else. - Oh, yeah. Sure. Liv. Hi! Mr. Allan! Oh, Liv. Wow. Your mom and dad would be so proud. - Thank you. - Of both of you. - Thank you. - Thanks. I just want to pass on a blessing from our generation. Not just from myself but from f-from my dear friends who would've given anything to be here today. - Good luck, sweetheart. - Oh. - Nate. - Mr. Allan, thank you.
- Good to see you. - All right. You too. Such a good man. Emma's so much like him. So, according to Ms. St. Claire, you are allowed one weak nip before the wedding, to sort of steady the nerves. - So we have scotch... - Okay. Scotch is good. We have vodka and tequila. Tequila, tequila? Tequila! Tequila! - Kevin! Tequila. - Tequila's so trashy. - No, no, no. Kevin. Kevin, listen to me. - You don't even like tequila. You take this to Marion. You tell her I switched the DVD's. She needs to play this when Emma walks down the aisle. I thought we were rising above this sort of thing. We are, which is why I need you to do this for me right now. Hurry! You'll thank me one day. I'll go get that. - That's very helpful. - Okay.
Thank you. Oh, my God. It's your parents. Come on in. Look, isn't she a bridal beauty? She sure is. Oh, my gosh. - Oh, wow, Mom. - Oh, my God! Is that my dress? Are you happy? I'm happy if you're happy. Sweetheart, you could get married in a brown paper bag, I wouldn't care. This is your day. Oh, boy, I need a tissue. - Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. - You're gonna screw up your makeup, honey. I found this when we moved to Boca, and I saved it. - Dad. What is it? - I knew there'd come a day to give it to you. Go ahead. Open it. In case you need something old or blue. It's really Liv's. Well, something borrowed then. Daddy, I need to see her. I think she feels the same way. I'll get that.
Oh, it's Marion. Uh, places, people. We're on in two. Marion, could I just run down the hallway for a second? Emma, you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Ready. - Bride one, walking. Bride one, walking. - Oh. I was a little girl... Alone in my little world... - Who dreamed of a little home for me - It's time. I played pretend between the trees... And fed my houseguests bark and leaves... And laughed in my pretty bed of green... I had a dream... That I could fly... From the highest swing... I had a dream... Ooh... Ma'am. - Oh, my God. - Okay. Okay. - I'm getting married. - Yeah. Are you happy? Uh... When I get visual confirmation on bride one walking give video a five count and roll.
And ready. Walk. I'm in Acapulco, babyI Spring breakI I'm here with Miguel. I love spring breakI I want to danceI Go, EmmaI Go, EmmaI - I love being EmmaI - I... We've been hit. Repeat, we've been hit. EmmaI Let me tell you something about that tapeI God, you swore! You swore you'd never show that to anyone. Just... Let them go. Emma! Bring it on! EmmaI I don't want to fightI - Let me just tell you something! - I don't want to fight! It's over. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. Thank God. I'm fine. Emma, what the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind? You just ruined our wedding. You happy now?
Your friend? History. 'Cause she's a bad influence on you, and she always has been. Judging by that DVD, you're a lot more like her than I thought. - Good. I hope so. - What? Fletcher, you've been my friend for 10 years. I need you to be my friend now and tell me the truth. You're in love with a girl that you met 10 years ago. Hey, what's the matter with that? Huh? She's not here anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting, Fletch. Or caving. Neither do you. We're different. We want different things. You know that's true, don't you? I knew. Good-bye. Oh, my God. Emma. I'm fine. This is all my fault. That video was never supposed to happen. I mean, it was supposed to happen, but I canceled it. I thought I did. 'Cause I could never do that to you. Emma, you're my best friend. Oh, this fighting is so dumb.
I'm so sorry about everything. I'm sorry... Too. I'm so sorry. If I ruined it for you, I don't want it anymore. If Fletcher and I were perfect for each other, then we'd be getting married, and we're not. Are you crying? Yeah. It's like a whole new me. And I just... I cry all the time. - I'm kind of a basket case. - No, Liv, I didn't want that. I'm sorry. No. No, you were right. I don't have to have it constantly together all the time. It's like... This huge wake-up call. And I'm kind of stumbling around a little bit, but... I'm awake. Will you stand up there with me? Where else would I be? Reset, people. Reset. Oh, I almost forgot something. Oh, my God. Em? Where did you find that? Two little girls saved it for us.
Come on. Hi. - Hey. Are you single? - Uh, yeah. - Are you straight? - I don't like labels. So sorry to hear about your divorce. Why? It was only my first. And next time, I'm definitely getting married at the Plaza. You treated me so kind I'm about to lose my mind... - You made me so - Very happy... - Do you wanna dance? - Yes. - Let's go. - Okay. Um... No, baby. Baby, let it happen on its own. Uh-oh. Did I make a horrible mistake and marry someone who's smarter than I am? It was quite a wedding. And as I stood there watching... I realized something I'd forgotten a long time ago. You made me so very happy... Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes, you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding.
But there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along. - Wow! You look great. - Hello. Oh, my God. You look great. Well, how was it? How was the vacation? - It was amazing. - I want to know everything about it. Actually, I don't. You married my brother. That's weird. So I don't want to know anything, ever. Should we toast? To marriage? Um, actually, I'm not drinking. Neither am I. Are you pregnant? - When are... - Me too. March third. When're you due? March third. Do you believe in love... Yes, I believe in love... - I believe it's because I've tried - Do, do, do... And if you know anything 'Bout loving anyone... Somehow you got to be satisfied...
Oh, but don't go changin' At least not for me, baby... I'm doin'what I gotta do, ooh... I'll be fine... Find a way to pass the time... While I sit here waiting on you... Oh, listen... But as soon as you get the chance, baby... You've got to... - Love me - Love me, baby... - Please - Do, do, do... - Say you love me - Love me, baby... - Pretty please - Just once... Know it's hard out there... - I can imagine how - Do, do, do... Who you are in here... - See I can imagine now - Do, do, do... Why can't reality... You don't ever have to be... Able to read my mind, ooh... I can hardly walk without burning up... So I might as well start alive... Just as soon as you get a chance... Darlin'
- Love me - Love me, baby... - Please - Do, do, do... - Say you love me - Love me, baby... - Pretty please - Do, do... Why, tell me why you wanna treat me so bad... When you know I love you... Darlin; don't you know... I'm giving you the best lovin' you've ever had... No one else for you... - Just as soon - Just as soon... - Love me - Love me, baby... - Please - Do, do, do... - Say you love me - Love me, baby... - Pretty please - Do, do... Say, won't you come love me Pretty, pretty please... Do, do, do... Said if you got the time, baby... Come and spend it with me... ♪♪ ♪ I found, I found ♪
♪ So many things ♪ - ♪ I dreamed of♪ - ♪ Dreamed of, dreamed of ♪ ♪ You fell in love with me ♪ - ♪ But I couldn't think ♪ - ♪ I couldn't think ♪ ♪ Of how it could be ♪ ♪ And I finally found him ♪ ♪ And I'm takin' the long way out ♪ - ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be ♪ - ♪ It's gonna be ♪ ♪ Somethin' special to me ♪ ♪ Somethin' special to me Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Days go by and we're still laughing ♪ ♪ He's all mine and I'm never alone ♪ ♪ Days go by and we're still happy ♪ ♪ He's all mine alone ♪ ♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪ ♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪ ♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ And I finally found him ♪ ♪ And I'm takin' the long way out ♪ - ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be ♪ - ♪ It's gonna be ♪ ♪ Somethin' special to me ♪ ♪ Somethin' special to me Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Days go by and we're still happy ♪ ♪ He's all mine alone ♪♪ It all began at the Plaza Hotel... twenty years ago in the month of June. Two mothers brought their daughters, Liv and Emma, here to the Palm Court for tea. On that afternoon, there was a wedding. There was something blue, something borrowed... and something completely magical. And two little girls from New Jersey... held in their hands a new dream- that one day they would find that one person... who would stand by them no matter what, and when they did, they too... would haveJune weddings at the Plaza.
Thank you. And yes, Your Honor, I will take this lofty man to be my husband. I always knew my wedding would be the happiest day of my life. Now I will dance with you until we have six babies and a house. Do you think they let pets inside the Plaza? Well, it's not like we're getting married until we're 16 at least. Next time, can I play the bride? Emma, you know I always play the bride. ♪ This will be an everlasting love ♪ ♪ This will be... ♪♪ Not too shabby. Caviar cocktail hour... Cigar roller, white glove service- Celadon cymbidium orchids. Great deejay. So we both admit it's beautiful. Um, yeah. But? Do you think it's the work of Marion St. Claire? Oh. Marion's a visionary. Mmm? Oh. If it had been my wedding- Oh, just say it. It ain'tJune. And it ain't the Plaza. It's the elephant in the room. Yeah. And here you are. Oh, look.
A duck made out of ice. Isn't this great? Know what else is great? Going home early and watching your backed-up TiVo? Am I that predictable? How about one more dance, and I'll give you my piece of the cake-if you let me lead. Very funny. Come on. Come on. You know I always lead. Hey. Oh. Hi, girls. Are you ready to catch this bouquet? Gotta go. - I'm so happy all of you are here. - On the other hand, always fun. I know. They take it so seriously. My work friends, sort of. My college buds-Oh, my God. Emma Allan, is that the same dress you wore to the Delta Gamma... "Kegs for a Cause" semiformal, like, a bazillion years ago? Yeah. What's your point? Because it's a classic. - If a dress works, you work it hard. - Oh. See, that is sweet. And loyal.
Girlfriends sticking up for each other. I like that, a lot. Keep that. - Anyway, are you guys ready to catch this? - Yeah. Just think about it, feel it, catch it- One, two, three! I would have seen the signs if I'd been there. It's all right there. Look at Emma's eyes-Like a hunter's. And Liv's hand-How would you like that clasped around your throat? Not that either of them can imagine hurting each other at this point. Why should they? They've been inseparable for 20 years. Okay, slow down. Why can't we run with iPods? We can't run with iPods because iPods... are for people who can't be alone with their own thoughts. I'm literally running circles around you. Do you know that? Do you know how many things I can think about at once? You know what a multitasker I am. You're not enjoying my conversation? Is that what you're saying? I'm hurt. I am very hurt, Liv. I gotta go. All right. Have a good day. Love you. Oh!
And tell me how the meeting goes. Watch this power walk. Whoo! Whoo! Hey, did you get the changes to the brief? Read and highlighted in the cab. Great. Purse. It's like the whole city is made out of lint. It's an aggressive approach, exploiting the weaknesses of our plaintiff's case, and I thinkjudicially we'll find favor... Particularly if we pull justice Givens. Thank you, Liv. Our best associate, Mr. Simmons. Maybe your approach is too aggressive. I mean, if we pound them, as you suggest, they'll hardly be in the mood to settle. Mr. Simmons, you don't- You don't know me, but I- I know you. All you need to know is how badly you want to win, because we won't be settling. You're right. She's perfect. Oh, Ms. Allan? Hey, Robert. What's up? I think Ms. Delgado is looking for you. Is she? W-Was she nearby? She... She's in her room. She's... Emma, there you are.
- Oh, God, Deb. Hi. - I know. Isn't it gorgeous? God, I feel so blessed to have this body. You know, I am so late-No, no, no. Listen. You gotta help me out here. You know the debate team? Yeah. I cannot go to the state finals. I mean, children talking about their little problems. Ugh! You gotta do it for me. Yeah, Deb, I'm already doing your late bus patrol... and pep squad and your after-school detention. You're the debate team adviser. I don't think that I should-I know. I do so much. I wish I could just do the bare minimum. I so admire you for that. Thank you. Anyway, all right, look. Here's how we'll work it out. I'll do the debate team- Okay, good. Uh-huh. If you take my Tuesday study halls for the rest of the year. Okay? Yeah, that's... No. All right.
You owe me, girl. - Get out of the hallway, kids! - You know why she does this? You're the best teacher at that school. No, I- She's trying to overwork you, so you crack under pressure. Mm-mmm. Middle school's a jungle. I don't know. I think she's kind ofsad. I mean, she's been divorced, like, three times. She's way ahead of us. I mean, where are our divorces? I gotta get married first. God, I hate Daniel! ♪♪ No, Kevin. I'm dealing with a crisis. What's your crisis? Uh, that's code for "I don't want to talk to you." Oh, I see. Well, then thank you for putting me through. See? I told you those jeans would look great on you. They aren't too tight? No, no. Not at all. But this... I mean, Emma, yellow- Not your color. Okay?
Seriously. Oh, but you know what? Try this. Because-You know what? Keep it. Well-It never hung right on me anyway. Ofcourse it doesn't hang right on you. It's... my size, and it's new. This is the Dolce blouse I told you about last week. Liv, I can't. Hey, hey. It was on sale. I practically made money on it. Liv, it's too much. Emma, Emma. Emma- just say thank you. Just- Thank you. It's beautiful. I love it. Good. Now this-Emma's stuff. Emma's stuff. Let's get rid of it at one point. You moved out, like, a hundred years ago. Okay. - Daniel's sweater? Cardigan? You wanna try that? - Yeah, love it.
Oh- Tiffany box. You're getting engaged? I'm getting engaged. I'm getting engaged! You're getting engaged! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Emma-No! Stop it. No. Liv! I have to look. Stop it! No! No! No, no! You can't stop me. I'm sorry. But he should see your face when you first see the ring. Good call. You always think ofothers, Emma. It never occurs to me like that. I mean, sometimes it does. I'm really happy for you. Promise me you won't tell anyone until after he proposes. Oh, God. I would never. I'd be out of my mind. ♪♪
I'm engaged! Can we get four tequila shots? No. No. No, no, no. None for me. Oh, right. I'm fine. Acapulco, 2006- Emma and Fletcher on a break. "Never talk about that weekend again." "I'm so lonely and confused, and very thirsty. Please, Miguel"―. Okay, okay, okay. Make it stop. Please. All right, a toast. To Liv― Congratulations to an amazing friend. And condolences to Emma, Liv's maid of honor. She will surely be the most nightmarish bride ever. It is my burden and mine alone. - I'll be repaying the favor very soon. Cheers. - Drink up. - What did I rush down here for? - Nate! I'm getting married. Get out. Yeah. Oh, my God. Sister's gettin' married here.
- Where's-Where's the groom? - Oh. Oh. He's not here. Well, he hasn't actually popped the question yet. A toast-To Daniel, who in his own world is just working late, but I guess in Liv's world has just proposed. So God bless him for wanting... to spend his life with my sister in any world. To Liv. We love ya. He's a lucky guy. Yep. The biggest day of a girl's life. I'm gonna be right back. - Damn. Should I? - I got it. I mean, they didn't get to see me graduate law school, or read Nate's first story in New York magazine. So I can't share this with 'em. I wish your parents could be here too. Whatever. It's fine. I'm fine. Liv, you're only human. You don't have to have it together every minute of every day. Former chubby girls- We're made of steel. And Splenda. We survive. Well, first of all, you weren't fat. But, yes, you do survive. Thanks, Em.
You're welcome, Liv. You're gonna be the best maid of honor. Yes, I am. What do we do first? First... Oh! I was thinking. It might be a good idea to actually get the proposal. See? It's that head for details. Yeah, right? I know. People watching this performance at home... with a huge question mark. Hey, babe? I don't think they sent us any fortune cookies. No, they sent 'em. I got them right here. Oh, good. Okay. Here we are. I'm just cuing it up. Mm-hmm. This guy's gotta go. I'm sorry. I know you like him. Mm-hmm. He's very pitchy. You know, Fletch, that is actually a real thing. Pitchy. It's not just code for someone you don't like.
Oh, okay. You're pitchy. Oh, uh, that one's mine. Please. You're really calling dibs on fortune cookies now? Yeah. It's on the right side. Okay, it's fine. Yours is the left. If your fortune's better than mine, I'm claiming it. I don't think it will be. Okay. Are you ready? One-Two. Three. What's this? I put a lot ofthought into where I was gonna do this, and, uh, I wanna do it here. This is our home, and if I'm 99 years old and we're doing exactly this in our home... TV and gettin' Chinese food- that'll be good enough for me. So, Emma Allan? Uh-huh? Will you marry me? Yes. Yes. It didn't happen tonight. - But I'm not worried, 'cause I'm sure Daniel's... I-I'm engaged. Fletcherjust proposed, like, two minutes ago. I'm engaged. - Color?
- Colorless. - Cut? - Brilliant. - Clarity? - Slightly included. - Carat? - Almost, maybejust under. More than he could afford, I'm sure. Ohhh. Engaged? Wow! Liv's engaged. You're engaged. That's-That's... C-Can I call you back? What do you mean Emma's engaged? No. Of course I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be happy? I think it's great. Yeah. No, you don't have to come here. I'm fine. I'm not gonna eat anything. Okay. And I have the perfect wedding present. You are going to live with Emma and Fletcher. You're irritating me. I can't believe it. It's so weird having this on my finger.
I mean, hey, look. It even sparkles in the rain. Blinding. Ouch. So I'm thinking about getting DJ Humble to spin at my party. I don't know though. Is that weird? You should go for it. I'm not really a big band kind of girl. Whatever. It's your wedding. Oh. My mom can't fly up until the wedding. She's too busy with work. But who cares. I've got you, right? Yeah. I'm so psyched. So would you come with me to meet her? I'm sorry. What? Meet who? Marion St. Claire. Haven't you been listening? I've got an appointment with her on Friday. You already made an appointment? Yeah. You just got engaged last night. I know. But technically, I'm already behind.
You gotta book early if you want the Plaza. The Plaza? I can't believe this. What-What's the matter? Why are you mad? I'm not mad. No, not at you. I just don't know what's taking Daniel so long. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- We don't have to talk about this. Let's just drop it. Don't worry about me. Worry about Daniel. He's gonna be dead soon. Why? What- Call you later. What are you go- Liv, you let him do this his own way. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me! Honey! Will you just marry me, already? Yeah. Okay. Isn't that what you want? 'Cause it's what I want, and I just wanna know if you want to marry me.
Don't you wanna get married? Honey, can we talk about this later? Oh, you changed your mind? I saw the Tiffany box in the closet. Right? Uh-Oh, my God. It's not a ring? If it's a key chain I'm gonna kill myself, and I'm taking you down with me. Oh. Why can't you just tell me right here and right now? Is it something that you would want? Would you want-Would you want to get married? You know what I will tell you? I have never met a more obnoxious, complicated, overbearing, gorgeous, smart, sexy woman in my life. And- If you had just waited until tonight- then you wouldn't be the woman I fell in love with, because she doesn't know how to wait. Will you hold that for a second? Yeah. Which is fine, as long as I get to spend the rest of my life... trying to catch up with her. Liv? Hmm? Will you marry me? Are you proposing? Mmm. Really? Honey, it's so out of nowhere. Liv, shut up. Yes or no? Yes. Yes.
Babe. Yes. - This is not how I planned it. - Are you kidding? Oh! I love "Bring Your Hot Girlfriend to Work" day. Totally. And that is the journey that brought... these two young brides to my townhouse on that particular afternoon. No, no, no. Don't do that. Not now. Not now. Let's go. Okay. I'm good. I'm Marion St. Claire, the most sought-after wedding planner in Manhattan. Hi. We're Marion's 1:00. Mm-hmm. We're both getting married, and we're both each other's maid of honor. No way. That's incredible. Ms. St. Claire will see you now. Hi. I'm Liv Lerner. Hi, Ms. St. Claire. Wow. This is Emma Allan. What an honor. We've been best friends for a long time.
I can't believe this. Sit. Okay. Got it. A wedding marks the first day... of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now. W-Were you aware of that? You're dead right now. I understand. Thank you. Angela, for example, will die dead. Now I've read the brief that she put together on you- june weddings at the Plaza. So it's not even a remote possibility? If you'd gone elsewhere, not a chance. But you've come to me. Call me dream catcher. I'll answer. Ooh. Dream catcher. I happen to have... three openings at the Plaza in June. Two the first Saturday, and one the last Saturday. That would be the 6th and the 27th. Oh! My parents' anniversary is the 6th. That's so meant to be. Oh, my gosh! Yeah. - Well, then I'll take the 27th. - Great. Um, you'll wanna discuss this with your grooms.
- No. - All right then. Just sign and... date these. Okay. This feels pretty good right now, I gotta say. Now, uh, we should discuss themes. Uh, elegant minimalism- Classic traditionalism- with romantic textures. And trendy infusion. - I'm impressed. - Really? Well, we love you so much. She means-She means "Thank you." Your 1:15 is here, Ms. St. Claire. Thank you... so much. I have packets for you up front. Bride to bride, there's only oneJune opening left at the Plaza. Oh, my God. Thank you. You are so sweet. Ms. St. Claire, first off, I'm obsessed with you. - Uh, it's an honor and a privilege. - Sit. Sure. June. At the Plaza. Look at them-So blissfully unaware... of the implications of their wedding date. You see, at this point, june was a mere three and a half months away- A blink ofan eye, in wedding time. ♪ Got my dreams Got my life, got my love ♪ ♪ Got my friends Got the sunshine above ♪
♪ Why am I making this hard on myself ♪ ♪ When there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be ♪ ♪ Happy ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪♪ ♪♪ Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Miss Wang- Ohh-Lace bodice. Basque waist, 10-layer tulle- You should try it on. No. No, no. I'm wearing my mom's dress. Emma, are you sure? Your mom's dress is beautiful, but is-is it your dream or hers? It's mine. It's mine. I wanna surprise her. But it is your day. Can't you just send her a big box of chocolates on Mother's Day, and get the dress you want? It's really pretty. And I do love strapless. Me too. I feel like I'm cheating on my mom's dress. I can't. I can't. I've very comfortable with my decision. I'm just gonna put it back. Put it back.
Okay. But I mean, if you like it, you should try it on. No. You saw it first. Please. That's a terrible reason. We're gonna try this on, okay? No, uh, I'm gonna... try it on. It's stunning. It's perfect. I know. Right? Mm-hmm. I should probably keep looking. Do you think there is something better than Vera Wang? I'm sorry. Do they keep that next to the something that is better than chocolate? - No. Get the dress. - What if you change your mind? Just be very careful about any pre-wedding weight gain. You don't alter a Vera to fit you; You alter yourselfto fit Vera. Weight gain. Please. Yeah. Right. Me lose control? You see these eyes? You know what that is?
Focus. That's right. Well, it's contacts- and focus. - You know, I'll take it. - Perfect. I'll get you more champagne. Marion. A terrible mistake has been made, one I assure you has never happened before... in the House of St. Claire. Your weddings have been booked on the same day. Can you say that again? I'm sorry. What? Your weddings have been scheduled for the same date. - Mother "F." - Are you insane? The Plaza is our lifelong dream. Angela... mixed up the dates. You are now both set to be married June 6, and the other bride on June 27. The next available date at the Plaza is June 15- - Perfect. I'll take it. - Three years from now. - This is no- - No, I can't- It's no problem. Hold on. It's no problem. Because I'll negotiate it. I negotiate for a living. - I'll get the other bride to switch her dates with you.
- Trust me. You can't say no to that face. Yes, well, our confidentiality agreement... means that I cannot tell you who she is, - so which one of you will choose a different venue? - I'm leaving right now, Ms. St. Claire. Word to the wise, dear- and also to you- do not use me as a reference. Hello, Angela. Just... tell us where the other bride is, and nobody's gonna get hurt. Hi. Hello, Stacy. How are you? It's Emma and Liv. You look gorgeous. Did you lose weight? You want me to change the date of my wedding? Yeah. That'd be great. No. You take the 6th, give me the 27th- She can be your wedding buddy. I'm a ball. Really. I am. Don't touch me. Let's talk numbers. Every wedding has a price, hon. What's yours? You can't buy me. So again, no.
No, no, no. A thousand times, no. Good luck, ladies. There's something wrong with you. You're not leaving until you change your- She's crazy! Just change your date. She's crazy! Somebody call Security. You won't even change your date! You're crazy! It's unnecessary for you to touch me so hard. Technically, she pushed me too. Come on. Have a nice day. Whatever. We could sue. We could sue. You're a lawyer. We could sue 'em all. We could sue the Plaza. We could sue Marion. We could sue Angela- What's the point? None of them are gonna make it right. No. It's up to us. I want you at my wedding. And whichever way this works out, one of us will just have to be married on a different day. Absolutely.
I mean, you know, I want you at my wedding. Obviously. If we can't think of any other way out of this, one of us will simply have to be flexible. Yeah. One of us will just have to change venues. Right. One of us could. Probably, um, not... the one of us who's been saving up for a decade, because she makes a pittance compared to the other one of us, but- True. I mean, or it would be, if the other one of us wasn't so desperate to get married at the Plaza... because the Plaza, practically, is the only happy memory she has of her childhood. So, oops. That's-Right. One of us will have to move her date. Yep. One of us will. And until one of us decides, we shouldn't make any concrete plans. Agreed. There's some time before we lock things in. Let's just not do anything- Right. Until one of us moves her date. Okay. So, um- Talk to you soon. One of us should- Call the other one. One of us hasn't called me yet, but you know what? She's gonna move her date. She always was the bendy one, even as a kid, remember? Yeah, she didn't sound too bendy to me. I called Fletch, and she picked up.

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