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fandom.1000waystodie | # DEAD IN YOUR SLEEP
(LOGO SPLATS)
BACKGROUND VOICE (DUE TO THE ORIGINAL BEING ERASED THIS IS THE UK VERSION):ARE YA GETTIN TIRED? I HOPE YOU'RE NOT GONNA FALL ASLEEP DURING THE EPISODE? YOU DON'T WANNA MISS THE SMOKER WHO TRIED TO QUIT THE FUNNY DUDE WHO CAN DO TRICKS TO FATE THE DR THAT COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH HIS MEDICAL LIFE THE GUY THAT GOT EATEN BY HIS OWN PET THE DEER HATER WHO COULDN'T GIVE LOVE THE SWIMMER WHO COULDN'T LEAVE THE RAY THE PIPER THAT PLAYED A DEADLY NOTE & FINALLY THE KARATE STAR WHO GOT CARRIED AWAY;I'M CHALLENGING YOU;YOU BETTER STAY AWAKE;YOU'LL BE IN TROUBLE FOR MISSING THE NEXT EPISODE OF 1000 WAYS TO DIE*THE WOLVES MAUL THE OWNER AS THE SHADOW FALLS & THE HEART SHOWS THE LOGO*
BACKGROUND VOICE (MEGAPHONE):
| DEAD IN YOUR SLEEP |
fandom.1000waystodie | # DEATH WINS!
(LOGO SPLATS)
BACKGROUND VOICE:I'M SO HAPPY THAT THE REBOOT DOESN'T HAVE MUCH STUPIDITY ESPECIALLY SINCE THE FOLLOWING DON'T HAVE IT;I'M MAINLY TALKING ABOUT THE GUY WHO GOT THE TOOTH THE GERMAN HELPER WHO GOT TACKLED OR THE ROADCROSSER WHO GOT STONED HOW ABOUT THE POINT IN THE PENIS THERE'S THE POROUS GUY WHO GOT THE MOST DISTURBING MEAL & THE CRITIC WHO BIT IN THE WRONG FUNGI & FINALLY THE DOPEY SURPRISE OF THE BAKE;EVEN WITHOUT STUPID THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE A NEXT EPISODE OF 1000 WAYS TO DIE*THE KOMODO DRAGON BITES THE HAND AS THE SHADOW APPEARS & THE HEART SHOWS THE LOGO*
RON (MEGAPHONE):WARNING THE STORIES PORTRAYED IN THIS SHOW ARE BASED ON REAL DEATHS & ARE EXTREMELY GRAPHIC NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITIES WITH NO ACTORS OF THE DECEASED SOME OF THE DEAD WERE UNLUCKY MANY WERE BORED MOST WERE INCREDIBLY STUPID DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRY ANY OF THE ACTIONS DEPICTED...YOU WILL DIE
BACKGROUND VOICE:DEATH IS EVERYEHERE MOST OF US TRY TO AVOID IT OTHER CAN'T GET OUT OF IT'S WAY EVERYDAY WE FIGHT A NEW WAR AGAINST GERMS TOXINS INJURY ILLNESS & OTHER CATASTROPHE THERE'S A LOT OF WAYS TO END UP DEAD THE FACT THAT WE SURVIVE IT ALL IS A MIRACLE CAUSE EVERYDAY WE LIVE WE FACE...1000 WAYS TO DIE
(DATE:APRIL 5TH LOCATION:BROOKLYN NEW YORK)
BACKGROUND VOICE:WHY IS EVERYONE HAVING GOOD HAPPINESS WITH AN OFFICER WATCHING?
OFFICER LALTOM JAMES DANIEL:WHAT'S EVERYONE HAPPY ABOUT? & WHY DO I SMELL TOILET WATER
AMYLEW MELISSA PATTERS:THE TOILET WATER TECHNIQUE IS FROM GERMAN RESIDENT BROCK"THE POINTER"SCHMINK HE'S BEEN DOING HIS OWN BUSINESS OF TOILET WATER FOR HELPFULNESS
ARTOM RELLIN RUSSPIN:THAT'S RIGHT;HE'S EVEN USED IT TO HELP BROCCOLI ALLERGIES & HIS KNOWLEDGE TO TOILET WATER NOT BEING USED FOR JUST TOILETS HAS PUT HIS RISK OF HELP TO THE ANTI-ALLERGY ZONE
BLOWY POLLY PARROT:HE LIVES AT THAT HOUSE OVER THERE NEAR THE CIRCLE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD
LALTOM:WOW THAT GUY SURE HAS 1 SECRET;THIS SHOULD BE THE MOST NOTABLE OF ALL NEWS FLASHES TO BE VIRAL*CUT TO BROCK'S HOUSE WHERE HE SEES A CAMERA*
LINTOM FERRELL RUTH:BROCK THE BROCK I'M SCOOP RUTH FROM THE VIRAL NEWS CLUB;EVERYONE'S WONDERING WHAT TOILETS ARE YOU PLUMBING TODAY?
BROCK MEIRSCHEI SCHMINK:OH I'M NOT PLUMBING TOILETS LINTOM;FOR YRS I'VE BEEN LEARNING ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS THRU THE INTERNET MY PARENTS NEVER TOOK ME TO SCHOOL SO I GOT MY EDUCATION THRU HOME THE MOST THING I'VE LOOKED UP MORE ARE THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF TOILET WATER & MY MAIN CONCERN IS BROCCOLI ALLERGIES;I LEARNED THAT IF EPIPENS ARE GONNA KEEP THEM FROM REACTING I KNEW THAT TOILET WATER WILL KEEP THEM GOING DOWN;WHEN I DIE I WANNA BE TIED TO THIS POLE SO THE NEXT TIME I'M SEEN I WILL BE COMPLIMENTED;ALSO I'VE BEEN WANTED TO MAKE MY OWN VIRAL VIDEO OWN BROCCOLI BEING TREATED WITH TOILET WATER;YEA IT DOES HAVE BAD ORGANISMS IN IT BUT EVERYTIME I USE IT I CLEAN IT AFTERWARDS & I DRINK IT & I SURVIVE IT
MEIRLO SCHILLEI SCHMICK:HEY BROTHER
BROCK:HI MEIRLO WHAT'S UP
MEIRLO:I HEARD ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS;MOM & DAD ARE WATCHING YOU THERE FROM A DISTANCE
LALTOM:SO BROCK WHAT'S ELSE THERE TO YOUR THING WITH TOILET WATER & BROCCOLI ALLERGIES
BROCK:WELL LALTOM;TOILET WATER CONTAINS ORGANISMS ORGANISMS & CHEMICALS THAT SOME OF THE 1'S OUT THERE ARE ALLERGIC TO;NOT ONLY THIS BUT SOME CRITTERS ARE ALSO ALLERGIC TO BROCCOLI & OTHERS DON'T LIKE IT (CROWD:WOW)
SCHEELA MEIP SCHMINK:HE HAS A PT
BACKGROUND VOICE:THIS NOTABLE MOMENT IS GOING INTO HARMONY OF THE TOILET UNTIL...SOME JERK CONFRONTS THE GERMAN EXPERT
ROLLTOM JACKLE NIGHTROFE:BROCCOLI YOU LITTLE GERMAN IDIOT I SPENT $42 ON YOU FOR TOILET WATER & MY ALLERGY ISN'T EVEN CURED
BROCK:OH SHRIMP DO YOU WANT A LITTLE MORE TOILET WATER IF I DIDN'T GIVE YOU ENOUGH
ROLLTOM:NEVER
BROCK;SORRY BOUT THAT;HE'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING*HE HEARS WHAT BROCK SAID & LOST IT*I MEAN REALLY BUT DON'T GET TOO WORRIED IT'S NOT LIKE SOME WEIRDO IS GONNA WHACK ME IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER*ROLLTOM DOES SO WHICH MAKES HIM COLLAPSE DEAD*THE CROWD IS SHOCKED EVEN HIS SISTER CRIES (SCHEELA & MEILOTOM:OH MY GOD*
STEVEN KIM:IN THIS CASE HE HAD A THINK SPOT THAT WAS HIGHLY SENSITIVE IN HIS HEAD SO WHEN ROLLTOM HIT THE HAMMER ON HIM HIS HEAD SUFFERED TRAUMA AS BLOOD LEAKED & HE WAS DEAD BEFORE HE HIT THE GRASS
BACKGROUND VOICE:BROCK WAS NONE OTHER THAN A VEGGIE PLUMBER BUT WHEN ROLLTOM TOOK HIM DOWN GOD'S TOILET WAS PUT IN HIS DREAMS
MEILTOM:GOOD JOB SON*THEY BOTH LEAVE WHILE MEIRLO IS STILL DISMAYED*
(WAY TO DIE #60 BROCK-OH-LEAK)
(DATE:JUNE 4TH KOMODO ISLAND,INDONESIA)
BACKGROUND VOICE:HAVE YOU BEEN WONDERING IF DRAGONS ARE STILL IN EXISTENCE? WELL IN CHINA YOU'LL FIND LOTS OF DRAGONS HOWEVER IN KOMODO ISLAND THEY HAVE 1'S THAT DON'T BREATH FIRE & THEY'RE HARMLESS DESPITE THEIR TOXIC BITES THEY DEFINITELY DON'T BITE THEIR FRIEND WHO LIVES ON THEIR ISLANS
KUNGLEEWUNG AI LIO:HEY LITTLE GUYS I MADE YOU ALL SOME BREAKFAST
BACKGROUND VOICE:KUNGLEEWUNG LIVED ON THE ISLAND EVER SINCE HER PARENTS CHECKED OUT LEAVING HER ALONE FOR WEALTH PURPOSES
JULES SYLVESTER;THE KOMODO DRAGON IS IN THE LIZARD FAMILY BUT CAUSE OF THEIR SIZE THEY'RE TECHNICALLY NOT LIZARDS THEY'RE MORE RELATED TO SEALS & SNAKES & THEY'RE BITE WON'T KILL YOU UNLESS YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO THEIR VENOM
BACKGROUND:HER KOMODO FRIENDS WERE ALSO GIVEN A BOUNCY BED BY HER;IT WAS MADE AS SOFT MATTRESSES & OTHER BOUNCY SURFACES & SHE MADE SURE IT WAS GONNA BE SAFE FOR THEM;NOT ONLY WAS ANYBODY BESIDES HER NOT ALLOWED TO GO NEAR IT*AFTER THE SCENE WHERE SHE PUTS UP A CLEANER SIGN SAYING DON'T GO NEAR IT WE SEE GINO*THIS 1 WOMEN ALWAYS GOES ON IT WHICH MAKES THE KOMODOS FURIOUS
KUNGLEEWUNG:GINO WHAT THE MANTLE ARE YOU DOING? CAN YOU NOT SEE THE SIGN?
GINO CHUNG FALOOSH:IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW I LIVE IN A HUT A FEW INCHES FROM THE ISLAND & I VISIT THIS ISLAND I CAN CHECK THINGS OUT IF I WANT
KUNG:OH IS THAT SO? WELL LET ME TELL YOU 1 THING*SHE PUSHES GINO & THEY START TACKLING EACH OTHER*
BACKGROUND VOICE:THE KOMODOS WERE SHOCKED AT THE 2 RIVALING BUT OUT OF THEM ALL THIS 1 WHICH NAME WAS DICKLINNA WAS THE MOST DEFENSIVE SO AS SHE FUMED SHE RAN UP TO THE 2 & GRABBED KUNG'S ARM WITH HER MOUTH
KUNG:THANKS DICKLINNA;SEE NOW YA KNOW THAT LIZARDS DON'T HARM NOW PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR & STAY AWAY FROM THEIR BOUNCY BE-*SHE FALLS DEAD WHICH SHE WAS DEAD BEFORE SHE HIT THE ROCK GROUND*
BACKGROUND VOICE:OH DEAR LOOKS LIKE THE ALLERGY WAS REACTING QUICK
BAL RAJ:IN THIS SITUATION WHEN DICKLINNA BIT HER FRIEND ON ACCIDENT THE VENOM WENT THRU HER BLOODSTREAM DRYING THE BLOOD CELLS & SHE SUFFERED ANAPHOLACTIC SHOCK BEFORE SHE DIED
BACKGROUND VOICE:KUNGLEEWUNG WAS A HAPPY HUMAN KOMODO ON THE INDONESIAN ISLAND BUT WHEN IT CAME TO A RUSTLE WITH GINO DICKLINNA FAILED TO HELP & NOW SHE'S A KOMODO DEATH JADI PANJANG MANUSIA NAGA*THE KOMODO DRAGONS MOURN AS THEY WATCH HER DEAD*
(WAY TO DIE #1 TOXIC TOOTHIO)
BACKGROUND VOICE:COMING UP THIS GUY PICKS UP A TRICK VEGGIE
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(DATE:AUGUST 20TH LOCATION:MOAB UT)
BACKGROUND VOICE:DID YOU KNOW THAT NOT EVERYONE LOVES VEGETABLES? WELL THIS GUY ISN'T A VEGETARIAN BUT IS OBSESSED WITH THEM
DULLINTOM JOJO BARTHOLOMEW:HEY SIR GOOD VEGGIES HUH
BACKGROUND VOICE:DULLINTOM WAS FED NOTHING BUT VEGGIES WHEN HE WAS LITTLE UNLESS IT WAS CAKE OR SWEETS ON HIS BIRTHDAY HE DIDN'T REALIZE HE LOVED EATING THEM UNTIL HE MOVED OUT OF HIS PARENTS HOUSE BUT HE USE TO HATE EATING THEM
PENTOM MORIIS PLACQUE:SO WHAT VEGGIE ARE YOU GETTIN TODAY
DULLINTOM:I'M GETTIN 1 OF EVERYTHING OF COURSE MY MOTHER MAY HAVE BEEN ABUSIVE BUT NOW I KNOW I LOVE VEGGIES
PENTOM:ALRIGHT DO WHAT YOU WISH
BACKGROUND VOICE:THIS ABUSED VEGGIE LOVER HAS TRIED 1 VEGGIE AT A TIME NOW HE KNOWS IT'S TIME TO EAT THEM ALL AT THE SAME TIME
DULLINTOM:LET'S SEE WHERE ARE THE MUSHROOMS OH HERE THEY ARE;WAIT WHAT'S THAT? OH RED MUSHROOMS
YELLIM PRONTY TENTIANO:HELLO DULLINTOM ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN HANDLE EATING ALL THESE VEGGIES
Dullintom:Of course i can;you can NEVER eat too many veggies especially when abused
Yellim:ok that's $80
Dullintom:ok here's 200 no cash vack please*takes his reciept*bye
Yellim:wow i've NEVER come acrossed somebody who chose to pay & not get cash back
Background voice:after a good shopping Trip he's ready to eat*he starts eating whole 1 by 1;many moments later he's done*
Dullintom:wow i feel lots of camel toe in my cruel happiness now
Background voice:but things weren't goinfpg great later that day;he parties as a celebration to his veggie consumption but he wasn'T gonna celebrate for long as his party gets slower he becomes ill every second & gets vegged out*he collapsed on the kitchen counter dead*turns out those red veggies dullintom bought for $33 were High produced toadstools they're not poisonous but they only kill if you're allergic
david svoboda:Despite the fact toadstools are in the same family they're not the same & doesn't have the same enzymes but you can still be allergic so when our traumatized veggie lover bit into it the cells acted up as he suffered anaphylactic shock & he died right on the spot
Background voice:if dullintom wasn't abused by an idiot of a woman he wouldn't have been a good snob but then the toads got to him & he was stooled
(Way to die #543 retoaded)
(date:december 8th location:california beach)
Background voice:did you know that rockfish come in many form? They're loveable when it comes to this dudio
Caltom shemmy prudence:oh what cuties back in the water sweetie
Background voice:caltom was a fisher who only took rockfish from the water just to bond them & release them back in this case he doesn't torcher fish
Jules sylvester:some rockfish look a bit like stonefish but they fool you real good but rockfish are more harmless both are harmless but you're able to be Allergic to venom depending on you
Background voice:not only did caltom live on the beach he was also near an unknown desert that was made by some con artist despite the sand being realistic but a mirage is still available;a miracle is something that is disguised to the real thing But not everything you see is not there
Caltom:well not much cars are out thet must be at home;hey what's that? That must be a rock fish but i can tell it might not be as this is a mirage place;huh i'll look just to makesure*goes over to it*wpw it is a rockfish it must be dead i should get a pool to put it in & adopt it
Background voice:he knew all about rockfish but 1 day the pervert con artist crosses his path
Jiltom horace jacklay:hey dude how'd you enjoy my dEsert
Caltom:that's your desert?
Jiltom:let me explain (caltom:ok) ya see i was kicked out of egypt cause my parents were terrorist & they had no cash for the family so I decided to be a professional business man & create my own desert;I might be a con artist but I'm not so please forgive me
Caltom:of course you really out did Yourself do ypu have a gift shop i wanna take my new pet morthie the rockfish & make her better
jiltom:I don't have a shop but I can let you have my 2nd ladder pool it'll have lots of room for morthie to swim
Caltom:ok
Morid pinza kashille:jiltom what the shinpad did you do
Jiltom:i was supporting the family Mother
Morid:well if you want cash take it from this freak friend of yours*she pushes them apart making caltom step on morthie in the process;this makes him feel pain & he was dead before he hit tge road*
Background voice:oh dear looks like the little guy was still alive & turns out he was allergic to her
Dj green:when morthie's spikes impaled her owner's foot the venom travel thru the body & the toxins cause him death immediately
Background voice:caltom's fishy memorials made a good happines to him & jiltom's connection but as morid made him to bad contact eoth morthie he was fishy with the pavements;well little Fish you & caltom will have to go to heaven together
(Way to die #243 rocky roadkill)
(date:November 6th location:France)
Background voice:have you heard of the french Drain? Well it does exist if you ask a cook like monzilotom he's all about it;ya see he is a cook who uses his home as a restaurant & he has this faces labeled 1 of them is for dungeon beetles worldwide but the other has sanitized faces but iT's sanitized as in Cleaned for edible
Drew badger:feces does have harmless chemicals but it won't kill you unless you're allergic you can also consume KOpi luwak
Background voice:another thing about this french heart of sweet faces he runs his restaurant 24 hrs;when he was little his family worked at a restaurant but 1 day they quit & become poor so he took him upon himself to supoort the family
Monzilotom jocky pedro (not everyone has a lat name by the way):thanks sir come again
Background voice:little did monzilotom know...some jerk had been onto him for yrs
Jockpotom izzy lemm:that french idiot he's gained more luck than i did & nothing changed in my family Well if he wants to outshine me it's time for revenge
Background voice:jockPotom didn't know but he actually did have an allergy to feces
Jockpotom:hey pedro i have lots of chocolate soup fondue if you want it
Monzilotom:ok*he gives it to him & he eats it:pretty soon he's done*
Jockpotom:thanks sir
Monzilotom:hey why exactly would i spend $600 for a desert from you when i can go to the cafe & get a french cake for $6
Jockpotom:let's just say it's for my opportunity to give & spread proper family business
Monzilotom:makes sense i better get home i'm bound to get sick*this food seems to have accidentally killed him as he goes outside he was dead Before falling on his chest*
Background voice:called it
Vyshali rao:when the french cook bit into the feces he suffered allerhic reactions from his stomach to his organs & he died as his digestive system shut down
Background voice:monzilOtom broke another frenchman's heart when it came to cash if it wasn't for the accidental but fatal revenge he wouldn't be a dead dung beetle au revoir cook
(Way to die #23 dung a roo)
Background voice:up next you'll cry when your penis gives you the pt
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(DATE:JULY 2ND LOCATION:MANATEE COUNTY,FLORIDA)
BACKGROUND VOICE:EVER HEARD OF EPIPENS? THEY'RE THERE FOR ALL ALLERGIES;WHEN RAYTOM WAS LITTLE HE WAS ALL CURIOUS ABOUT ALLERGIES AS HE GREW UP HE WAS ALL ABOUT HELPING OTHERS USING HIS OWN EPIPEN HE DIDN'T HAVE TO USE IT ON HIMSELF AS HE WAS NEVER ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING
DAVID SVOBODA:IF ALLERGIES ARE IN YOU EPIPENS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT IT'S EASIER THAN AVOIDING IT
BACKGROUND VOICE:1 DAY WHEN HE WAS ON A STROLL HE NOTICED A GIRL HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION BUT WHAT HAPPENED*HE PULPS HER WITH HIS EPIPEN BUT SHE STARTLES IN THE PROCESS*
FIZZA RALPH LESLIE:HEY LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU COME?
RAYTOM DIXIE RALPHIE:I WAS JUST HELPING WITH YOUR ALLERGIES
OFFICER DEETOM ASHLEY PETER:HEY WHAT'S GOING ON
FIZZA:HE SCARED ME
RAYTOM:IT'S NOT MY FAULT I WAS HELPING HER*SHE HITS HIM & THEY START TO TACKLE BUT THE OFFICER HALTS IT*THANKS SIR*BLOOD IS NOW DRIPPING FROM HIS PENIS AS THEY NOTICE;HE DROPS DEAD*
BACKGROUND VOICE:TURNS OUT AS FIZZA HIT HIM THE EPIPEN POKED HIS PENIS WHICH HAD A SENSITIVE SPOT AS WELL AS A COUPLE VEINS WHICH IS VERY RARE
PAVEL BINDRA:WHEN HE POKED HIMSELF WITH THIS GADGET THE SENSITIVE SPOT WAS IN PAIN AS THE BLOOD MADE CONTACT WITH IT & AS HIS BLOOD WAS GOING OUT OF HIM HE DIED 48 SECONDS LATER
BACKGROUND VOICE:RAYTOM WAS ALL ABOUT THE ALLERGY LIFE IF A SWEET WOMAN HADN'T LOST HER TEMPER HE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD HIS 1ST PERIOD & THAT'S FINAL 1
(WAY TO DIE #654 EPIPENIS)
(DATE:MARCH 5TH LOCATION:GORDAN RAMSAY'S KITCHEN)
BACKGROUND VOICE:WELL IS THIS HELL'S KITCHEN? NO THIS IS PATRICK OR SHOULD WE SAY PATRICKTOM WHICH IS HIS REAL NAME
PATRICKTOM HENSON COOTER:SO GORDAN WHAT D'YA THINK?
GORDAN RAMSAY:I LOVE IT;YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE COOK
DANNY CHAN:GORDAN RAMSAY IS THE MOST STRICT OF ALL COOKS I'M LUCKY I WAS NEVER ON HIS SHOW
PATRICKTOM:SO GORDAN WHAT CAN I DO SINCE THIS IS THE LAST COMPETITION OF THE YR
GORDAN:WELL ACTUALLY I WAS THINKING YOU'D TEACH EVERYONE & SHOW THEM YOUR SECRET TO THESE LOVELY FOODS*MANY DAYS LATER HE'S GIVING THE TUTORIAL*
PATRICKTOM:THEN AFTER YOU PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE IT TURNS OUT LIKE THIS*THEY CHEER*THANKS FOR THE WARM WELCOME
BACKGROUND VOICE:IT'S NOT EASY TO BE A CHEF FOR LIFE PATRICKTOM'S DISH KNOWN AS SUE-FLAY OF HAPPINESS CONTAINED RAW MEATS & OTHER RAW FOODS;HE SURVIVED ALL RAW FOODS BUT WHAT REALLY WILL KILL HIM IS THE FACT THAT HE'S ALLERGIC TO STEAM & THE TUNA'S IODINE ACTED AS A TRIGGER TO THE STEAM'S CHEMICALS
PATRICKTOM:UM GUYS DO YOU HAVE DOCTOR ACCESS I FEEL FUNNY
GORDAN:I DON'T THINK SO*PATRICKTOM STARTS GETTING ILLER BY EACH SECOND*HE FALLS DEAD WHICH WE'LL SEE HIM IN THE COUNTER AFTER THE CGI*
ROBERT EITCHES:WHEN THE COOK ATE HIS OWN CREATION THE TUNA MADE CONTACT WITH THE STEAM & HIS BLOOD PRESSURE BECAME WEAK TO THE PT HE ASPHYXIATED & HE DIED BEFORE HIS HEAD HIT THE COUNTER*AS HE FALLS DEAD WE SEE HIM ON THE COUNTER & THE OTHERS ARE LEFT WATCHING IN SHOCK*
BACKGROUND VOICE:ISN'T THAT THE HEART TO END HELL'S KITCHEN EARLY
GORDAN:OH WELL LEAST I CAN USE HIS DEAD BODY FOR COOKING
BACKGROUND VOICE:PATRICKTOM WANTED TO IMPRESS A VAIN BRITISH HEAD CHEF & HE MADE HIS HEART TO NEW HEIGHTS BUT ONCE HE WAS DONE WITH HIS FINAL DISH HE WAS A STEAMING MEAL HIMSELF
(WAY TO DIE #759 COOKER ERROR)
| DEATH WINS! |
fandom.1000waystodie | # DEATH WINS! (NEVER DELETE THIS PAGE)
| DEATH WINS! (NEVER DELETE THIS PAGE) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dallas Die-ers Club
<ns>0</ns>
<revision>
<parentid>24008</parentid>
<timestamp>2018-11-04T22:22:00Z</timestamp>
<contributor>
<username>ImFictionalAdmin</username>
</contributor>
<origin>40191</origin>
<model>wikitext</model>
<format>text/x-wiki</format>
| Dallas Die-ers Club |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dalva's Disaster
| Dalva's Disaster |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dana Plateau
| Dana Plateau |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dangerous Timberwolves
| Dangerous Timberwolves |
fandom.1000waystodie | # David Svoboda
<ns>0</ns>
<revision>
<parentid>61984</parentid>
<timestamp>2023-02-03T18:41:31Z</timestamp>
<contributor>
<username>TheStinging38</username>
</contributor>
<comment>/* Interviewed Deaths */</comment>
<origin>62413</origin>
<model>wikitext</model>
<format>text/x-wiki</format>
David Svoboda is an EMT Paramedic who interviewed these deaths to be explained about that dead victims with CGI.
| David Svoboda |
fandom.1000waystodie | # De-Blade-Dead
| De-Blade-Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # De-Coffinated
"De-Coffinated", Way to Die #91, is the third death to be featured in "Hard Lives, Easy Deaths", which aired on May 21, 2008.
Plot.
Two brothers are fighting over a land dispute. When one of the brothers pushes the other to the ground, the brother on the ground (James) is infuriated and plans revenge. He seeks out a witch doctor and asks him to poison his brother with "tetrodotoxin". Two days later, James is believed to be dead. But, he is actually paralyzed in a zombie-like state, and he cannot move or scream. James could only watch in horror as he is being buried alive. Some time later, two grave robbers dig out his coffin, but when they see his corpse, they flee in shock. Turns out, James's paralysis has worn off, and he tried to claw his way out, wearing his fingers down to the bone, before succumbing to suffocation.
Transcript.
Narrator: The island country of Haiti knows a finger tour about death. With a history ranching a cult ritual and a Vudu practices, death is deeply invaded in Haitian culture. They even turn it into a commodity. One of Haiti's biggest exports are human cadavers for research purposes. But it's on the Vudu scene where Haiti truly garners major death cudos.
James' Big Brother: This town belongs to me!!
Narrator: These 2 brothers are squared off over a land dispute. After accusation, insult and a shove, the man on a ground, James is thinking about revenge.
Narrator: He seeks out a Vudu witch doctor and arranges a nasty surprise for a brother to enemy.
Narrator: That white powder seems harmless enough... But it contains a slow-acting poisoning called tetrodotoxin or TTX.
Narrator: Tetrodotoxin can be extracted from pufferfish. Which in some cultures consider a delicacy. But, with a big risk.
Dr. Cyrus Rangan: Tetrodotoxin is a nerve toxin that is found in certain fish that it served in Japan.
Dr. Cyrus Rangan: When... people eat pufferfish, they...sometimes will eat it at to get the badge of honor. And the badge of honor is to eat just enough pufferfish to get just enough the tetrodotoxin poison, to cause local poisoning within the mouth. When you eat too "much" of the pufferfish, or you eat inappropriate parts of the pufferfish, such as the internal organs, then you become poisoned with tetrodotoxin.
Narrator: Just 2 days after coloring with angry brother, James was announced dead.
Woman: (Cries)
Narrator: But, when they bury him, he was paralyzed in a zombie-like state. Still conscious, yet unable to move or scream. He could only watch, as he was buried alive.
Dr. Cyrus Rangan: If you have severe enough poisoning, you can even get more blood pressures, abnormal heart rhythms, and then paralysis that would start the lower parts of your body and ascends towards the upper parts of your body.
Narrator: After his burial, James' casket was dug up by graverobbers. When the robbers open the casket, they were faced with the horrific sight of James, who spent the last minutes of his life, trying to crawl his way out of the casket until his fingers wore warn down to the bone.
| De-Coffinated |
fandom.1000waystodie | # De-Faced
| De-Faced |
fandom.1000waystodie | # De-Throned
| De-Throned |
fandom.1000waystodie | # De-faced
"De-faced", Way to Die #290, is the fifth death to be featured in "Dirt Nap", which aired on November 7, 2011.
Plot.
Wilbur was an abusive husband and father who bought a snow-blower due to the weather. Wilbur's wife left the basement because she didn't want to listen to him anymore. After that, Wilbur drank a beer, which then started his death clock. In his intoxicated state, along with the snow-blower filling the room with carbon monoxide, and just as he is about to try and oil the spinning blades of the snow-blower, he falls face first into them in which they all slam into his skull and slices his brain off, causing massive bleeding within his skull, killing him within seconds. By the time his wife came in, she was horrified to see his faceless corpse.
Transcript.
Narrator: It was a Minnesota's first big snowstorm of the winter.
Narrator: And Wilbur was ready. He had just bought a brand new .
Wilbur: (Burps)
Narrator: All he needed to do was run the engine for a while to break it in.
Jon Wright: The North American continent, United States average is a... little over 100 snowstorms per year, we average about 1,200 deaths per year... of after a major snowstorm: accidents, downed power lines, trees, collapsing groves on commercial residential buildings. In some cases, avalanches were just too much snow comes careening down a mountainside can cause some tremendous loss of life.
Narrator: Wilbur spent all his time in the garage. Pretending to tinker, while pounding beer after beer. The truth of the matter was...
Wilbur: (Burps)
Narrator: he was useless as a handyman "and" a family man.
Wilbur's Wife: Wilbur?
Wilbur: What?
Wilbur's Wife: Comes me dinner the kids.
Wilbur: I'll be in there when I'm there, okay?!
Narrator: While the snowblower was airing out, Wilbur decided to do some drunken chores.
Narrator: Every man of the north, needs a sharp axe.
Wilbur: (Burps)
Narrator: At this point, Wilbur was feeling more than the effects of the beer.
Wilbur: (Coughs)
Narrator: His snowblower had been coughing up exhaust for the last 2 hours. Filling the garage up with deadly carbon monoxide.
Narrator: A woozy Wilbur decided it was the right time to oil the spinning blades of the blower.
Wilbur: (Burps)
Wilbur: (SCREAMS OF PAIN)
Narrator: Hmmmmmmmmmmm... Maybe not.
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: Falling forward into the blades of the running snowblower caused massive lacerations of his scalp, face and neck. Now the major arteries of the face are severed, causing massive hemorrhage.
Narrator: A drunk Wilbur was preparing with the harsh Minnesota winter...
Wilbur: (SCREAMS OF PAIN)
-Wilbur's Wife: (Screams of horror) Oh my god!!<br>
-Narrator: It turned into a face-off.
Wilbur's Wife: (Screams of horror)
Narrator: Wilbur lost, and his face... came off.
| De-faced |
fandom.1000waystodie | # De-throned
"De-throned", Way to Die #259, is the last death featured in "", which aired on December 8, 2010.
Plot.
Duke, a bastardized biker, forces a cocktail waitress, Cherry, to serve him by cleaning up his messes to pay off a debt. After Duke cleans his motor engine with gasoline and goes to another biker rally, Cherry cleans up the gasoline, throws it away into a toilet without thinking, and forgets to flush it. After Duke returns, he feels like taking a dump, so he goes to the bathroom and lights a cigarette. After throwing the lit cigarette into the toilet, the combination of methane from the feces and the gasoline ignites, results in an explosion, causing Duke to fly off the toilet seat like a rocket. Duke dies from the explosion stopping and rupturing his veins as well as shattering his pelvis, much to the delight of Cherry, as she is now free from the bastard biker.
Transcript.
-Duke: (Laughs)<br>
-Narrator: Duke, was a first-class A number 1 bastard.
Duke: What are you doing over here? You missed over here.
-Narrator: Cherry was a down on her look hot tell witches, who made a mistake for borrowing money from Duke, to pay back a gambling debt.<br>
-Duke: (Laughs)
Duke: Get a move on, Cherry! Board stays carpet!
Narrator: Being a mean, cruel son-of-a-bitch, Duke was making Cherry paid off by being his personal slave.
Duke: You missed the spot. (Laughs)
Narrator: Duke did everything he could to make Cherry's time there are living hell. Like, cleaning motorcycle parts in the living room, with gasoline.
Duke: Cherry! Clean up this mess, I'm at now with the boys!
Narrator: She did her best to accommodate the ill-tempered Duke, a few more weeks and she'll be all square, and out of there.
Cherry: I got the place clean for you.
Duke: Oh... You missed a spot.
Duke: I'm gonna take a dump.
Narrator: Taking dumps was the one thing Duke excelled at.
Narrator: Nobody could let it fly like this guy. But this dump was about to take a turn for the worse.
Narrator: While Duke was out, Cherry cleaned up the spilled gasoline.
Narrator: Without thinking, she dumped it in the bowl, but forgot to flush.
Narrator: So when Duke celebrated another successful bowel movement with a smoke... you know what hit the fan.
David Leslie: It's not the liquid itself that burns, but the vapors that created by the liquid. The contents that were already in the toilet, combine with the natural methane gas and when the cigarette was add it to the mixture, it gained the ignition source and it blew up.
Narrator: Duke's lard ass was launched off the crapper like a skunk missile.
Dr. Daniel Kharrazi: With a close proximity explosion to the perennial and pelvic region, the force that's transmitted to that region can cause significant disruption of the pelvic elements. That can cause immediate disruption of the blood vessels and causes exsanguination, which causes death very quickly.
Narrator: And so, another douche bag bites the dust. Let's take a moment while we offer this crapped out creep a few last words.
Duke: (Laughs)
Narrator: Hey, Duke... blow it out your ass!
| De-throned |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead-dy Dearest
"Dead-dy Dearest", Way to Die #172, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You", which aired on January 5, 2011.
Plot.
Mike is a stubborn and overprotecting father to his daughter, Megan, considering he was a war vet back in the day. His stubborn behavior scared her mother away, but Megan was stuck with him; lately, it was difficult for her to keep a boyfriend. One night, Megan and her new boyfriend, Nick are studying in Megan's room. When Mike hears some giggling in her room, he brings out a gun and shoots it at Nick, which turns out to be a joke, because Mike put blank bullets in the gun, but when he tries to demonstrate by pointing the gun at his own head and firing with blank bullet, the joke is soon after on him: he ironically dies due to the pressurized force of the blank striking so close to his temple that it causes brain hemmorage, killing him instantly, and leaving Megan and her boyfriend horrified by his lifeless corpse.
| Dead-dy Dearest |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Before They Know It
Dead Before They Know It.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 45.
Originally aired March 23, 2011.
-- This is the Original Episode --
SP-Effed.
Way to Die #317
On April 26, 2004, in Las Vegas, NV. A young, disobedient woman who always borrows her roommates' belongings without asking mistakes psoriasis cream for moisturizer before stepping into her roommate's new tanning bed (which no one is allowed to use). The psoralen in the cream, activated by the tanning bed's ultraviolet radiation, gives her massive second degree burns all over her body and she collapses on her horrified roommate and dies of heart failure and severe dehydration.
Alt names - Blistering Vice
Ji-Had It Coming.
Way to Die #127
On September 24, 2006, in Afghanistan. An award-winning American reporter denounces her U.S. citizenship, converts to Islam, and marries a Taliban leader. She celebrates by firing off several rounds of an AK-47 into the air during her wedding to fit in with the crowd, but loses control of the gun and dies when one of the bullets hits a metal pitcher and ricochets into her skull, where it bounces inside and causes massive bleeding and immediately fatal wounds.
Alt names - Terrorist Wedding
Crate and Buried.
Way to Die #264
On August 15, 2004, in Darfur, Sudan. Two thieves in Sudan steal supply crates needed for refugees. As the men celebrate, they suddenly get crushed to death by a falling, two-ton supply crate that had a faulty parachute.
Alt names - Air Maul
Lost In Transfusion.
Way to Die #458
On May 16, 2002, in Chicago, IL. In order to beat a company drug test, a cocaine-addicted <a href="http%3A//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/crane_%28machine%29%7Ccrane"></a> operator injects himself with blood that matches his type, stolen by his girlfriend who works as a hospital cook. However, he does not listen when she warns him to warm the blood before injecting it. He stores the blood in the refrigerator overnight before injecting it in the bathroom moments before his drug test. Once the cold blood enters his heart, the man is killed in seconds from fibrillation and tachycardia.
Alt names - Cold Blooded
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Arriva-deadci.
Way to Die #678
On September 8, 2008, in Rochester, NY. A mobster on parole is granted permission to be on a work release program, but slacks off and orders his co-workers to do his work for him. When his parole officer visits him, the mobster tricks her into thinking that he is doing as he's told and moves a dumpster. However, he gets distracted when he sees his co-worker talking to his parole officer about his job performance and forgets to lock the wheels on the dumpster, which ends up rolling down the hill and pinning him against a second dumpster. The mobster is killed when the sharp end of the first dumpster punctures his abdomen and extrudes his intestines from his body.
Alt names - Crying Over Spilled Guts
Miss-Ur Head.
Way to Die #402
On March 6, 1925, in Marseille, France. A French criminal is executed via guillotine. His head is studied by a scientist out to prove that the guillotine is an inhumane form of capital punishment by showing officials that the victim who died still shows some signs of life after being decapitated.
Alt names - Off With His Head
Note: This is one of the few deaths that is not based on stupidity or unusual circumstances. Instead, it is an experimental procedure and a means of capital punishment.
Eye-Sick-Kill.
Way to Die #247
On November 29, 2008, in Cedar Springs, MI. A perverted stoner gets fired from his job as a mall Santa after two of his female elves report him for sexual harassment. As the man bangs on the door to get his boss to let him in, an icicle falls from the roof's edge. The man looks up just in time for the icicle to impale him in his eye and through his brain.
Alt names - Silent Night
Note: This segment was based on a similar death scene from "Black Christmas".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Dead Before They Know It |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Eye
"Dead Eye", Way to Die #197, is the fifth death to be featured in "Dead and Deader", which aired on February 15, 2009, and the sixth death to be featured in the episode, which aired on October 24, 2011.
Plot.
Coach Jacousky, a high school physical education teacher, teaches a group of tired, unenthusiastic students how to throw a javelin. After the students do a shoddy job of throwing, Coach Jacousky demonstrates in front of the students, making an impressive throw. Running to retrieve it, he turns his head around and yells "that's how you do it" to the students, only to turn his head back around...and impale his right eye through the javelin's exposed edge. The javelin is then driven into his brain. The students react in disgust when they run to the coach, with one of them taking pictures.
"If he wasn't such a blow-hard, he'd still be winning arm wrestling bets at the local sports bar. But Jacousky forgot the one lesson teachers have been screaming for all eternity: pay attention."
"Mr. Jacousky's fatal error cost him his life. But one rule he followed to the very end: Keep your eye on the javelin."
| Dead Eye |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Fella
"Dead Fella", Way to Die #178, is the fifth death to be featured in "Getting A Rise From The Dead", which aired on February 16, 2011.
Plot.
Two mobsters named Leo and Tony are setting out after former mobster Vito, who had been nabbed by FBI agents and agreed to testify against them in court. When the two see Vito getting in his car, a Chrysler 300C, they fit their pistols with silencers and get to work. Leo and Tony are on opposite ends of Vito's car and prepare to make the hit. When Vito drives by, Leo takes his chance but alas Tony never took his chance. What Leo and Tony didn’t know, however, was that the feds had installed bulletproof glass on Vito's car. When Leo fired his pistol, the bullet ricocheted off the windshield, and sliced through Tony's carotid artery at which point he bleeds to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: Leo and Tony were a couple of good fellas. Who worked as enforcers for the mob.
Tony: You don't think I can do it?
Narrator: Leo was a made man. And he had taken junior hitman Tony under his wings, to smooth the rough edges off his whacking technique.
Fred Solmor: You do your first hit... They make you become a made man,
Fred Solmor: and you build your own crew. And they learn as they go. You can't just walk up and whack a guy. It's not done that way anymore. If you do... your ass is back in the can for murder one.
Narrator: Today, it was personal. Vito was a fellow mobster who had been nabbed by the feds. The word was he was ready to cut a deal, and bring down Leo and the rest of his crew.
Leo: Time to go. Let's get his car.
Narrator: The two killers fitted their guns with silencers and went to work.
Narrator: Leo fired...
Narrator: but Tony never got the chance.
Leo: How did we both miss him?!
Leo: Tony!!
Leo: Tony, what the hell happened?
Narrator: Leo didn't know the feds had installed bulletproof glass on the stoolie's car. The silencer slowed Leo's bullet,
Narrator: and just enough so that ricocheted off windshield, and caught Tony in the neck.
Peter Leffe: Ricochets are a function of a number of variables. The angle at the surfaces to the incoming bullet... the velocity of the bullet, and the characteristics of the surface itself.
Leo: Ah...
Narrator: The bullet found Tony's carotid artery.
-Narrator: And he bled out, within seconds.<br>
-Leo: God dammit...
Narrator: Tony was a young hitman hoping to get made.
Tony: You don't think I can do it?
Narrator: But then his partner's bullet took a bad bounce.
Narrator: And now Tony will be layin' low... forever.
| Dead Fella |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Fixe
"Dead Fixe", Way to Die #554, is the fourth death to be featured in "Die-abestic", which aired on February 1, 2012.
Plot.
Sebastian is a food critic notorious for writing negative reviews on the restaurants he visits, some restaurants even closing due to his bad-mouthing reviews. One day, Sebastian visits a newly-opened restaurant called Cafe Vistro. One of the waitresses, aware of the critic, hatches up a plan with the chef to get him to write a good review: get him drunk off martinis. In his drunken state, he accidentally swallows part of an olive toothpick while eating the meals given to him. Two days later, while writing his bad review on Cafe Vistro, Sebastian begins to suffer from peritonitis caused by an abscess the toothpick formed in his intestines, which he believes was just indigestion. However, when he visits the next restaurant, he vomits blood induced by his peritonitis, and dies shortly after.
| Dead Fixe |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Heat
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"Dead Heat", Way to Die #657, is the fifth death to be featured in "Bringing in the Dead", which aired on January 6, 2010.
Plot.
Suzette is cooking for Brett, her new boyfriend, and forces him to smell some exotic, imported spices. Little did Suzette know, Brett has asthma, but he doesn't tell her because he thinks it makes him weak. To make matters worse, his inhaler soon runs out of medicine, and he begins to asphyxiate, but Suzette refuses to believe what he does, thinking he's just faking it. She didn't notice until she puts her head on Brett's chest. It was too late, when Brett dies from massive asthma attack.
Transcript.
Narrator: Suzette was cooking of a plan. Make a good dinner to bag to her boyfriend. And the chef had all the right ingridience.
Suzette: Not only is this gonna be the best meal of your life, it's gonna be the best... night of your life.
Narrator: Suzette was always the hottest dish in the kitchen. As for her cooking, she was guilty of over spicing.
Suzette: All about the spices you have to smell them, just smell it.
Brett: (Smells)
-Brett: (Coughs)<br>
-Suzette: These are all important from media.
Dr. Steven Kim: What makes foods spicy... are .
-Suzette: That aroma! I love it!<br>
-Dr. Steven Kim: This particular molecule stimulates the neuroreceptors in your body, and that will actually result in inflammatory response.
-Brett: (Coughs)<br>
-Narrator: Suzette knew sooner had asthma.
Narrator: Brett thought it made seen a week. So he kept it in secret. A few hits from his inhaler, said her straight.
Brett: Can we skip dinner?
Suzette: NO! I told you: you have to go sit down.
Narrator: Brett would forced to sample her cooking before she let him loose, on her full course body.
-Suzette: Smell this one. Smell.<br>
-Brett: (Coughs)
-Suzette: Absolutely normal.
-Narrator: But this was turning into Brett's last supper.
Suzette: Are you okay?
Brett: I'm good.
Dr. Steven Kim: When you inhale spices as suppose to eating it, it goes directly to your alveoli with your lungs. It goes directly into your blood stream very rapidly.
Suzette: Now I want you to smell, no, get down and smell it!
-Brett: (Coughs)
-Suzette: Oh my god, it's incredible!
Narrator: The over spice chicken triggered the mother of all asthma attacks. And to makes matters worse, Brett's inhaler ran out.
Brett: (Coughs)
Suzette: Wha-What's wrong?
Dr. Robert Eitches: When you inhale the thing that you're allergic to,
Dr. Robert Eitches: chemicals get release like histamines, and that causes nucleus production. If you have too much histamine releases, you can then have overwhelming response that could be potentially... fatal because it can make you stop breathing.
Brett: (Breathes heavily)
Suzette: Om my gosh, stop doing that!
Suzette: (Gasps)
Narrator: Suzette tried to lure her new man with her culinary skills, with disastrous results.
Suzette: (Whispers) Oh my god, he's dead!
Narrator: Instead of eating in, Brett became... takeout.
| Dead Heat |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Kacynski
"Dead Kacynski", Way to Die #374, is the second death to be featured in "Locked and Low Dead", which aired on February 29, 2012.
Plot.
Dalen is a paranoid, nihilistic, misanthropic, anarchistic, sociopathic and psychotic conspiracy theorist who lives off the grid with his girlfriend Elaine in an isolated shack where its electricity is powered by a wall of car batteries. One day, Elaine is preparing Molotov cocktails for Dalen, who plans on firebombing a federal court house in an act of domestic terrorism as part of his numerous terrorist attacks. When she asks if they are going to hurt people, Dalen kicks her out as he doesn't tolerate anyone opposing and/or questioning his methods. Before leaving, he writes his chronicle on a mimeograph, but a spark from poorly ground spark plugs causes the car batteries to explode. Dalen is covered in battery acid and also suffered from multiple broken bones from the blast, in addition, hot shrapnel hit his face, killing him.
| Dead Kacynski |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Light Green Light
"Dead Light Green Light", Way to Die #944, is the sixth death featured in "Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral", which aired on February 22, 2012.
Plot.
Steve (Art Roberts) is an infamous scalper and aspiring con artist who sells tickets for sporting events, and also a con artist; unbeknownst to his patrons, the tickets are fake, allowing him to easily rip them off of their money. When a man has his ticket identified as fake and is ordered to the back of the line, he confronts Steve in anger. Attempting to make a run for it, he hits the walk button to get across a busy street, but ends up being hit by a car, despite the signal saying walk. What Steve didn't know is that a slug crawled into the electrical box controlling the traffic lights and its' slimy body shorted out the circuits. So when the light read "walk" for Steve, it also read green for traffic. Steve dies from massive internal bleeding due to his rib cage being broken and his lungs being punctured, and he was dead by the time he hit the pavement.
| Dead Light Green Light |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Me Stallion
"Dead me Stallion!", Way to Die #568, is the eighth and final segment featured in the Episode "Dead on Dead" that was aired on February 24, 2010.
Plot.
Deniece hasn't seen her best friend Charline in a long time, so she spends some time with her. Since Deniece is interested in horses, they went to a barn. While checking out the horses, she tells Charline that she's done with her boyfriend Rob. His penis was too small, so Deniece asks Charline if she knows someone with a big penis. She comes up with the idea of doing it with a stallion. At first she refuses to do it, but eventually she tries it out. After seconds of the horse riding her, she falls dead on the floor, bringing this unusual one-night stand to a dead stop. Because the horse's penis is 60 centimeters (or about 24 inches) long, it kept damaging the uterus, which is well-supplied with blood, until she succumbed to exsanguination.
| Dead Me Stallion |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Me Stallion!
| Dead Me Stallion! |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Meat-Eorite
"Dead Meat-eorite", Way To Die #913, is the seventh death featured in "Death On Arrival", which aired on December 7, 2009.
Plot.
At an outdoor pool party, a socially awkward man named Stan tries to make friends by telling them about Christianity, but is unsuccessful. Later; while standing beside the pool trying to make friends with a girl (who; like the others, found him a buzzkill and was uninterested in talking with him), a stray meteorite descending towards Earth strikes Stan through the chest, killing him instantaneously.
"Stan showed up alone looking for a like-minded soul. Little did he know, he had a date...with fate."
| Dead Meat-Eorite |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Mime ☺
"Dead Mime ☺", Way to Die #211, is the sixth death to be featured in Death Takes A Vacation, which aired on November 14, 2011.
Plot.
A mime named Marcello liked to harass other people, but they hate him, thinking that it is annoying. He buys a pickle from a nearby stall. When Marcello eats the pickle, he chokes on it to death, possibly due to being mute for a long period of time. When a pedestrian saw Marcello choking, more people, who came towards him, started clapping and laughing, thinking that was part of the act, and nobody was there to help him. Thus, resulting in Marcello’s death due to lack of oxygen from choking on the piece of the pickle that he ate.
Transcript.
Narrator: Do you like mimes? If you answered "yes" then turn the channel and go watch something on . But the rest of ya, check it out: you're gonna like this one...
Narrator: Marcello, thought by wearing a stupid outfit and performing his lame-ass mime shticks, he had a license to annoy.
Man with sunglasses: Go back to France, mime.
Dr. Lano Woodley: A person is extremely frustrated ran mimes, because they do not have any kind of verbal relation at all, and because we view them as a visible in society... it gives them license to invade anybody's personal space.
Narrator: Marcello was playing at all the mime classics: Stuck in a box, the rope-pull... But nothing was working.
Man: I hate mime.
Narrator: Marcello finally snapped. And cross the mime-line. He went from simply annoying...
Narrator: to insulting, to inappropriate, to harassment.
Narrator: Even passive-aggressing mimes have to eat, time for lunch.
Narrator: Like all mimes, Marcello made no money. All he had to eat was one...dill...pickle.
Marcello: (Coughs)
Narrator: Now what? He's choking.
Audience: (Laughs)
Narrator: But look, people are laughing.
Dude, that's sick!
Narrator: The audience loves it. Maybe he's onto something.
Narrator: Hmmmmm, Maybe not.
David Svoboda: With the complete airway obstruction with this pickle, he was unable to... let air in, or passively let air out. With a lack of oxygen being able go to the lungs and then to your blood, and then oxygen and blood to the brain, you will soon die after, due to lack of oxygen.
Narrator: Marcello may very well have been the world's most obnoxious mime...
Man: I hate mime.
Narrator: but he finally got a crowd with his new routine called, "I'm not pretending to choke on a pickle! I really am! And, now I'm... dead!"
| Dead Mime ☺ |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Necked
"Dead Necked", Way to Die #280, is the fifth death featured in "Die-abestic", which aired on February 1, 2012.
Plot.
During Thanksgiving holiday, a spoiled brat college student named Cannon decides to throw a redneck-themed party as a joke on his cousin Amos, who was visiting from Alabama (Even though Amos was a law school valedictorian). While the cheap booze and Twinkie casseroles were appetizers, Cannon goes inside to get what he calls the "best part". He comes back out with a frozen turkey, which he drops inside of a deep fryer. The reaction creates steam under the turkey, which expands rapidly and causes the turkey to shoot out of the deep fryer like a cannonball. Cannon, who was peeking into the deep fryer, is hit directly in the face by the turkey, forcing the cartilage of his nose to go into his brain, killing him instantly, much to the horror of Amos and the other college students.
Transcript.
Narrator: Cannon's redneck party was an insultingly bad joke. Amos took it in good humor. In the end, it was Cannon who cried...fowl.
| Dead Necked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead On Arrival
"Dead On Arrival", Way to Die #614, is the fifth death featured in "Death Takes A Vacation", which aired November 14, 2011.
Plot.
A drug smuggler named Garcia creates a tie-dyed T-shirt soaked in his homemade LSD with enough to blow the minds of everyone in the State of Oregon, so he can avoid detection at the airport.
Garcia gets nervous and begins sweating, causing him to absorb a massive overdose (100,000 times the dose) through his skin, resulting in terrifying hallucinations (including a man with a pig's face, an elderly-looking person and a killer clown), his heart raced to 280 beats per minute, his circulatory system soared to the stroke zone, his mind shut down, and he suffers a heart attack, stroke, and fatal hypothermia, all of which kill him.
| Dead On Arrival |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Weight
"Dead Weight", Way to Die #102, is the third death to be featured in "Gratefully Dead", which aired on January 13, 2010.
Plot.
A drunk weightlifter named Pete makes a bet with his workout partner Hank that he can lift a 350-pound I-beam he found at a construction site. Pete tells Hank to watch how he could lift "The Crusher", but Hank left. However, he lifts it too high, loses his grip, and drops it. "The Crusher" crushed Pete's windpipe, killing him instantly.
"Unfortunately, The Crusher...crushed Pete's windpipe."
Transcript.
Narrator: Pete, was a workout warrior.
Pete: Yes!!
Narrator: All his free time in every penny earning construction job, was invested in his physic.
Pete: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: He pounded the heavy bag, shadowboxed, and did everything he could, to puff up his pecks.
Pete: (SCREAMS)
Jeff Mulvin: The exercise is just sense of well-being and feeling great and so they do as they start to little more, little more...
Pete: (SCREAMS)
Jeff Mulvin: really basing with they do they just replacing that as an addiction for drinking or drugs, 'cause it get that samey forming feeling for the workout.
Pete: (Screams)
Narrator: But Pete enjoyed drinking as well. He and his workout partner would pound down shots to killer and play the dead weight challenge.
Pete: Let's go!!
-Pete: Watch.<br>
-Narrator: Pete and his buddy Hank tested their manhood on various pieces Pete collected from construction site.
Pete: (Growl-laughing)
Jeff Mulvin: To drinking and struggle the waste, the first tenesse you have is think "Oh, I can pop a lot of weights, I can do a faster and stronger"...
Pete: You ain't got it.
Jeff Mulvin: The muscle's first they can pump little hard, and so do overdo it, and they already gone beyond they should go and then all the sudden the muscles should give out right away.
Narrator: But nothing was too heavy for these muscle heads.
Hank: You see?
Pete: Watch this, watch this! Watch.
Narrator: Pete like to call the 350-pound piece of I-beam: "The crusher".
Hank: Yeah, whatever, man...
Pete: (Moans)
Narrator: Unfortunately, The Crusher... crushed Pete's windpipe.
Dr. Ramon Cestero: Looks likely this new individual died from a trachea obstruction, from a...
Dr. Ramon Cestero: crushed larynx or trachea, once they are crushed, it's very difficult to open the backup. So this person is most likely suffocated.
Narrator: Pete's pecks had pumped their last piece of iron.
| Dead Weight |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead Wrongs
Dead Wrongs.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 28.
Originally aired September 28, 2010.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Pam Caked!.
Way to Die #179
On October 19, 2007, in Beaumont, TX. A cruel high school cheerleader captain gets jealous when a new girl joins the cheerleader squad, becomes the new flyer, and dates the quarterback who was previously dating the captain. On homecoming night, as the girls are about to do the heel stretch formation with the new girl on top, the captain lets her go, and she falls. Before the captain can gloat, she steps in front of the banner and gets trampled by the football team as they run through it, killing her.
Alt names - Jeer Bleeder
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Bibli-killed.
Way to Die #124
On June 6, 2006, in Hancock, IA. Two con artists posing as preachers go around the country handing out Bibles and having sex with their female customers. One day, they end up at a farm, where they attempt to have sex with the farmer's granddaughter. Hearing the commotion, the farmer's wife chases the men with a shotgun. They hide in a grain silo. However, when one of the men uses a lighter to see where they are, he ends up killing himself and his partner by causing a dust explosion.
Alt names - E-I-E-I-OWW
Note: This segment was otherwise known as "E-I-E-I-OUCH!".
Eel Effects.
Way to Die #779
On May 10, 2007, in Washington, D.C.. At a sushi chef school, only 2 out of 25 students have graduated. As a custom, the head sushi chef shares shots of sake with his students to celebrate their graduation. After he passes out drunk, the students decide to put a Japanese eel down his pants as payback for the chef's abusive punishments (one of which was threatening to shove an eel up their rectums). The eel slithers through his rectum and eats its way out causing him to bleed to death.
Glow Job.
Way to Die #207
On May 1, 2006, in Los Angeles, CA. A drug dealer does business at a rave, but gets bored when business slows down. He then decides to take a few hits of ecstasy. In his high, he injects himself with fluid from a glow stick and dies of phenol poisoning.
Alt names - Glow Schmoe
D-Parted.
Way to Die #557
On September 20, 2008, in Reno, NV. A recently divorced woman (played by Christina DeRosa) attempts to seduce three construction workers into her house. When she asks one of them to put sun tan lotion on her back while wearing nothing more than a bikini, he looses control of the concrete saw, which launches the blade at the woman and bisects her through her torso, causing instant death.
Alt names - Blade Sunner
Pornicated.
Way to Die #746
On April 19, 2010, in Tucson, AZ. A porn addicted compulsive hoarder throws out everything in his wife's vanity to make room for his dirty movies, prompting his long-suffering wife of 35 years to leave him. Unfazed, the man continues to feed his addiction, but forgets to eat and drink. Disoriented, he begins to stagger his way out of the house, but because he has been hoarding so much X-rated (NC-17-rated) material over the years, he gets trapped, collapses on the floor from severe dehydration, and dies.
Alt names - Hoard Knock Life
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Hard Balled.
Way to Die #156
On April 2, 2006, in Durham, NC. A lacrosse player and a bully hurls lacrosse balls at other students to impress some girls. One ball bounces off the wall, and when he is distracted by the most attractive girl at the school walking by, it hits him in the chest and triggers commotio cordis, causing him to die of arrhythmia.
Alt names - Jock Shocked
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Dead Wrongs |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead and Deader
Dead and Deader.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 5.
Originally aired February 15, 2009.
Title reference: Spoofs the 1994 movie title "Dumb and Dumber"
Note: This is the second episode not to feature the death of a female.
-- This is the Original Episode --
A junkie who loved injury / a man who loves women, not the toilet / a man who knew guns were dangerous / a man gets the alcohol down his liver / a man who loves javelin gets poked / a man gets rubbered out.
Wel-Dead.
Way to Die #504
On March 13, 2005, at House of Steel, in Long Beach, CA. An adrenaline junkie working at a metal shop connects a welder to his ear piercings to administer an electric shock and adrenaline rush. He turns the voltage on the welder to the maximum setting, and the electricity disrupts his natural electrical rhythms, causing cardiac arrest and killing him.
Trailer Trashed.
Way to Die #230
On May 1, 1979, at Roger's RV Park, in Aberdeen, SD. A newly married man attempts to unclog his new RV's toilet with bleach since other attempts to unclog it are unsuccessful. The bleach reacts with the sewage to form chlorine gas, which suffocates him.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Nite Capped.
Way to Die #171
On December 31, 2003, at Echo Park, in Los Angeles, CA. A group of revelers celebrate New Year's Eve by shooting a stray bullet into the air. Unfortunately, the bullet comes back down and hits a man in the shoulder several miles away. The bullet goes through his shoulder and pierces his heart, killing him.
Sh*t Faced.
Way to Die #385
On September 19, 1983, at Dunkeler's Home, in Sparta, KY. An alcoholic recovering from throat surgery asks his wife to give him an enema consisting of sherry. The alcohol bypasses his digestive tract and is absorbed directly into his bloodstream unfiltered by the liver, causing alcohol poisoning and he later dies.
Alt names - Alcohol Victimized
Dead Eye.
Way to Die #197
On May 15, 1993, at Milhouse High, in Glendale, CA. A high school physical education teacher demonstrates the javelin and makes an impressive throw. Running to retrieve the javelin, he turns around and yells to the class, only to impale himself through the eye on the javelin when he turns back around, driving it into his brain.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Domin-a-Dead.
Way to Die #319
On February 27, 2006, at The Kitty Patch, in Tonopah, NV. A 32-year-old virgin goes to a prostibule looking to have sex with a hooker, and chooses between a Pocahontas-like prostitute and a hooker in a French Maid outfit, until he is chosen by a dominatrix, who makes him wear a latex suit and a ball gag as she ispunishing him by whipping him with a riding crop. The man soon has an allergic reaction to the latex suit (which he was unaware he had), and to his bad luck, his cries of distress were muffled by the ball gag and the dominatrix thought he was groaning from pleasure, not pain. The allergy only gets worse, and the man dies from a fatal anaphylactic shock.
Alt names - Rubbered Out
Note: This is the first death on the show with an alternate title.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
My Will be done-immediately!.
Way to Die #93
On March 4, 1998, a retired man suffers an unexpected fatal Heart Attack while spending Time with his Friends and Wife at a Club.
Escape Death Segment 5.
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Dead and Deader |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead in your sleep (go see a doctor)
| Dead in your sleep (go see a doctor) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead in your sleep (please don't delete this page or i'll block you)
| Dead in your sleep (please don't delete this page or i'll block you) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead on Dead
Dead on Dead.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 24.
Originally aired February 24, 2010.
Title reference: Play on "red on red".
-- This is the Original Episode --
Weenie Roast.
Way to Die #101
On July 20, 2001, in Climax, KS. A group of men and women on a camping trip after spending the day at a Christian retreat play truth or dare. A man is dared by one of the women to urinate on an electric fence. The man declines, though another man follows through with the dare and is electrocuted when his urine makes contact with the fence.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Reef Stew.
Way to Die #202
On June 14, 1981, at Fijian Islet. A Fijian tribe in the South Pacific cannot find meat during typhoon season, so they are forced to omit it from their diet, only to grow hungrier as the days continue. One night, two drug smugglers wash up on their island in search of provisions, to the delight of the tribe. The men are beaten unconscious, stripped naked, boiled alive for five hours, and eaten.
Alt names - Danger Island
Fiddle Licked.
Way to Die #889
On February 8, 2008, in Washington, D.C.. A Middle-Eastern terrorist named Abdul Mohammad Yassin poses as a rug salesman out on a date. Meanwhile, a Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) agent named Anna poses as a violinist at the same restaurant, attempting to kill the man with an experimental laser gun hidden in her violin case. The gamma radiation rays from the gun succeed in causing thermal damage on a molecular level to the terrorist's brain, killing him instantly.
Alt names - A Violin of Violence
Snakey Breaky Neck.
Way to Die #224
On March 2, 1987, in Manaus, Brazil. A spoiled rich man named Preston vacations in the Brazilian jungle with a tour guide. Ignoring his tour guide's warnings, he lies down for a nap, and wakes up to find tarantulas crawling all over his body. In horror, he runs out of his tent and leans against a tree. A boa constrictor then wraps around his neck, strangling and suffocating him to death.
Beer Bashed.
Way to Die #540
On April 24, 1998, in Malibu, CA. A rugby team throws a beach party after losing another game. One of the players gets drunk and throws a keg of beer into a bonfire in addition to bullying some of his team members. After a while, the rest of the team abandons him because of his alcoholic behavior. Shortly after they leave, the keg explodes and the metal scraps from the keg cut through his body.
Bad Assid.
Way to Die #321
On September 21, 2005, in Downers Grove, IL. Four friends are bored on a rainy day, until a fifth friend shows up with some LSD. One girl, having recently broken up with her boyfriend, takes two hits. The quintet begin to swim around in an empty pool, thinking it is filled with water. The girl who took two hits dives in, and dies when she bellyflops against the bottom of the pool.
Alt names - Belly Flip-flop
Tree Mugger.
Way to Die #176
On April 7, 2001, Flathead Forest, MT. A nature enthusiast chains himself to a tree in protest to it being cut down. A grizzly bear shows up and bites into the man's stomach and pulls out his intestines.
Dead Me Stallion.
Way to Die #568
On May 5, 2000, in Ojai, CA. Denise, a zoophilic, visits her friend who owns several horses. Eyeing a stallion, she sneaks into the horse's stable and proceeds to engage in anal sex with the stallion. The horse's penis perforates Denise's colon, killing her.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Dead on Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dead to Rights
Dead to Rights.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 23.
Originally aired February 17, 2010.
Title derived from: A popular video game series of the same name.
Note: For some reason, the deathcard theme sounds low-quality and/or mono.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Blown Job.
Way to Die #118
On April 21, 2001, in La Jolla, CA. A woman who is addicted to energy drinks attempts to get a promotion at her job, but her sexist (and unbeknownst to her, bisexual) boss will only give her the promotion if she performs fellatio on him. She refuses (despite tolerating his other acts of sexual harassment) and, in disgust, guzzles down multiple energy drinks. When she sees a new male employee get the promotion by doing what she would not do, she immediately gets angry and furiously confronts her boss. Her anger, combined with extreme amounts of caffeine, causes her to go into cardiac arrest from a caffeine overdose.
Alt names - Blown Away
Note: This is the second death to assigned these titles.
Anger Damagement.
Way to Die #355
On August 6, 2002, in Lawrence, KS. A group of friends gather at one's house to watch professional wrestling. The new guy, who met one of the friends at an anger management class, starts picking fights with the guys. He is killed when he runs headfirst into the widescreen television, embedding glass shards in his face, breaking his neck, and electrocuting himself.
Alt names - TerrorVision
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Wrin-Killed.
Way to Die #235
On June 8, 2008, in Pittsburgh, PA. A purse snatcher attempts to steal an elderly woman's purse. The woman, however, has 30 years of experience in Taekwondo, and beats him severely before crushing his windpipe as impressed passers-by watch in amusement.
Huffington Toast.
Way to Die #98
On March 17, 2008, in Seattle, WA. Three huffers get high off aerosol fumes from spray paint cans. Later, they find jars of solvent, and one decides to pour it on himself, attempting to get higher. The liquid evaporates quickly and absorbs his body heat and, in an attempt to get warm, he asks his friends for a lighter. When one hands him a lit match, his clothes quickly catch fire and he burns to death. His friends run off, and are later arrested for manslaughter.
Hydro-Co-Done.
Way to Die #157
On July 26, 2003, in Las Vegas, NV. A couple get high in their hot tub after overdosing on painkillers and drinking champagne. The temperature gauge malfunctions, and the temperature of the water rises to the boiling point, but they are both too intoxicated to react and are boiled alive.
Samu-Fry.
Way to Die #218
On September 18, 2001, in Tustin, CA. Two Japanese-American teenagers attempt to engage in a katana battle after watching a samurai movie and playing samurai video games. When they take their fight outside, one of the teenagers attempts to land a deadly strike on his friend, but his katana hits a low-hanging power line and he electrocutes himself.
Screwged.
Way to Die #236
On December 24, 1988, in Lansing, MI. An elderly Scrooge attacks a group of carolers gathered outside his house during a hailstorm by throwing rotten fruit at them. As the carolers run off, a large hailstone hits the man on the head, fracturing his skull.
Alt names - A Christmas KO'd
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "The Grinch Of Hail"
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Safecracked Pitch.
Way to Die #214
On May 23, 2005, in Oakland, CA. Maury is out for a walk when he sees a security vault being installed in someone's house. Later that night, Maury breaks into the house and tries to open the safe to no avail. Instead deciding to take the safe, Maury slides it outside and has to push it down several stairs. Not wanting to make any noise, Maury decides to guide the safe quietly down the steps. One slip causes the vault to fall down the stairs and eventually onto Maury, crushing him.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Dead to Rights |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deadliest Catch
"Deadliest Catch", Way to Die #283, is the sixth death featured in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.
Plot.
An easily agitated electrician named Randall tries his hand at fishing to calm his nerves/anger, but is frustrated by not being able to make a catch. Randall strings a 12,000 volt electrical wire into the lake in order to kill the fish as he laughs evilly while asking God if he did see what he was doing, but accidentally steps barefoot off the wooden boat seat onto the metal of the boat floor, electrocuting himself to death and killing him instantly.
"I'm not a fisherman, I'm an electrician!"<br>
-Randall, about to make the dumbest decision of his life
Transcript.
Narrator: Randall is an electrician with a short fuse. To keep from all loading, he spends his days off fishing.
Narrator: It's a perfect therapy, as long as he catches fish.
Randall: Ah! Guide my lure, bring me every fish in this lake.
Narrator: But today, the only thing Randall's catching is a massive migraine.
Randall: (SCREAMS OF ANGER)
Narrator: His main circuit flipped from sane to psycho.
Randall: WHERE ARE YOU?!! COME DOWN HERE!! (SCREAMS OF ANGER)
Randall: I'm not a fisherman, I'm an electrician!
Narrator: Randall's going to use all the tools of his trades, to bringing his catch.
Randall: AH!
Narrator: He'll need a power source. So he taps into the counties 12,000 volt power lines.
Kim Hopkins: There are actually fishing techniques that use electricity. I've actually seen this... where fish were... literally leaping out of the water right onto the deck of the boat. Trying to escape the current that they were fear.
Randall: (GROWLS)
Narrator: Next, he lays the cable out carefully and floats a hundred feet of livewire out to his killing ground.
Randall: Hey, God! You see this? Huh?
Narrator: Finally, he completes the circuit, and drops his megavolt trunk treasure into the deep.
Randall: (Laughs evilly)
Narrator: One by one, the fish go belly up, but Randall isn't going to be satisfied, until he's zapped every last one of God's little fishes.
Randall You're looking, God?! You see what you gave me?!
Narrator: Like most things to good to be true, it was.
Randall: (Laughs evilly)
Narrator: Randall's high voltage fish fryer suddenly turns against the fishermen.
Randall: I don't use no lure! I don't have...
Randall: God! Dah...
Dr. Steven Burstein: He... shocked the bejeezus out of himself. And he was literally paralyzed and frozen because none of the nerves would work. Because nerves work via electrical transfer.
Narrator: The first time Randall completed the electrical circuit, the wooden bench insolated him from terminal shock. But once his body touched the electrified metal boat, his fate was sealed. Randall will be spending eternity...sleeping with the fishes.
| Deadliest Catch |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deadliest Kitsch
Deadliest Kitsch.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 56.
Originally aired October 24, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the Discovery Channel TV series "Deadliest Catch".
Note: This is the sixth episode not to feature the death of a female.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Bull-Heavia.
Way to Die #642
On March 24, 2010, by somewhere in the Middle East. The dictator of an unnamed Middle Eastern country regularly videotapes speeches blaming the United States of America for the country's poverty and political unrest and promising that the U.S. will pay for its decadent ways. In private, however, the dictator is obsessed with America, often dressing up as a cowboy in a private room filled with American memorabilia and a table with a model replica of Washington, D.C. After installing a new mechanical bull in his room, he goes to ride it, but his subordinate doesn't know how to make it go faster and ends up throwing the leader from the bull and onto his Washington, D.C. model., where the Washington Monument statue impales him right in the heart.
Alt names - Bleader
Hose-Whipped.
Way to Die #241
On May 27, 2008, in Philadelphia, PA. A low-rent security guard (who has dreams of being a full-fledged police officer, despite recently failing the police exam) attempts to stop a group of scantily-clad animal rights protesters in front of a pharmaceutical company by blasting the protesters with a fire hose on full power. When the pressure becomes too much for him to hang onto, the hose slips under his legs and knocks him to the ground. The brass nozzle of the hose slams into his skull at over 30 miles per hour.
Alt names - Hosed
Suffer-cated.
Way to Die #820
On November 16, 2009, in Bloomington, IN. An obsessed cyclist is forced to take care of the dog his girlfriend left behind when she abandoned him. During his training in an altitude tent, the neglected dog (noticing the cyclist's water bottle on top of the tent) jumps up and shuts off the air supply. The cyclist desperately tries to get out, but ends up making the altitude tent fall to the floor (doorside down), and the man suffocates from lack of oxygen.
Alt names - Cheating Edge
Rocked Out.
Way to Die #307
On April 14, 2006, in Dodge City, KS. A rock climbing instructor who leers at and gropes his female students is forced to help a man (who weighs 250 pounds) learn how to rope climb. The rock climbing instructor is too distracted by his female coworker to notice that the 250-pound man is slipping. The rope wraps around the instructor's neck, nearly strangling him to death. He tries to get out of it by cutting the rope, but this only succeeds in making the fat man fall on top of the instructor. The instructor dies of a broken neck and brain hemorrhage.
Alt names - Between a Rock and a Dead Place
Chicken Boned.
Way to Die #917
On August 1, 1998, in Cedar Rapids, IA. A bored group of friends decide to play "chicken" (performing dangerous stunts to see who will back out first). One of the boys challenges the other to hold a lit M-80 in his mouth. When the second boy backs out, the first cries in victory but accidentally swallows the M-80, which enters his trachea, and blows apart his throat, causing him to drown in his own blood.
Alt names - Chicken Brittle
Toe Jammed.
Way to Die #508
On September 14, 2005, in Toledo, OH. A hospital janitor with a fetish for feet and unconscious women sneaks around giving pedicures to sleeping or comatose female hospital patients while sucking on a foot-shaped lollipop. While finishing a pedicure on a coma patient, the janitor accidentally lets a hospital tray swing towards the woman's kneecap, triggering the patellar reflex. The coma patient involuntarily kicks the man in the face, causing the lollipop to lodge in his throat and the janitor to choke to death.
Down With The Clown.
Way to Die #260
On July 23, 2008, in Los Angeles, CA. A birthday party clown stalks a horror-core hip-hop band called "Infernal Clown Posse" (played by real-life clown-music group Insane Clown Posse) with hate mail and plans to sabotage one of their concerts. The clown rushes to the front row, but is knocked unconscious when one of the group members hits him in the head with a soda pop bottle. After regaining consciousness a short time later, the clown becomes enraged, runs backstage and goes to unplug their speakers. The clown, still drenched in soda, which contains a high concentration of salt, is electrocuted to death.
Alt names - Insane Clown Posse
Note: This death features the song "In Yo Face" performed by ICP... Also this segment is otherwise known as "Down Clown Town Frown".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Deadliest Kitsch |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deadliest Munch
"Deadliest Munch", Way to Die #444, is the sixth death featured in "Death On Arrival", which aired on December 7, 2009.
Plot.
Tanya and Sasha are a young lesbian couple (Sasha is the breadwinner while Tanya is the smoking hot housewife). After Tanya burns their dinner, she pulls off her robe, revealing "dessert", which is a candy bikini. As Sasha begins to chew on the G-string, it snaps, causing candy to lodge down her windpipe. She then chokes to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: The chicken took a lickin', Tanya's candy was dandy, but in the end, Sasha wound up... dead meat.
| Deadliest Munch |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deaf Jammed
"Deaf Jammed", Way To Die #130, is the fourth death to be aired on "If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You" which aired on January 5th, 2011.
Plot.
Mickey was a carjacker. But even worse, he only targeted women and he didn't care if they were pregnant or disabled. This despicable and loathsome scumbag was stalking a woman walking to her car alone. She got in her car and was about to shut the back window. Mickey saw a chance to make his move. He poked his head and left arm through the window, but before he could pull the car door lock, the automatic glass window closed on his neck, crushing his windpipe and stopping his ability to breathe. The woman drove off with Mickey hitching a ride. His painful gasps for help were heard by no one because the driver is a deaf woman. A mile later and a couple of minutes without air left Mickey unconscious. The driver, oblivious to his presence, finally looked in the mirror and saw Mickey's head sticking out the window. She rolled down the window and Mickey dropped dead on the road.
"Five blocks later, by the time the driver realized she had an uninvited passenger, Mickey's brain was completely drained of blood...and Mickey was roadkill."
Transcript.
Narrator: Look at this guy...
-Narrator: Five blocks later, by the time the driver realized she had an uninvited passenger,<br>
-Deaf Driver: (Gasps)
Narrator: Mickey's brain was completely drained of blood...and Mickey was roadkill.
Narrator: Mickey was a total waste of life. He preyed on the weak. The best thing to say about him? He's dead. There. Aren't you happy?
| Deaf Jammed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deat-Beat Drag Boat
| Deat-Beat Drag Boat |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death, The Final Frontier
Death, The Final Frontier.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 74.
Originally aired July 15, 2012.
Title reference: A spoof of the "Star Trek" quote "Space, The Final Frontier."
Note: This is the final episode of the series.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Pebble Bitched.
Way to Die #509
On July 16, 2010, in Williston, ND. Two redneck brothers at a barbecue are attempting to pick up the same girl. They decide to settle the conflict by using their trucks to play tug-of-war. As they rev their engines, their tires kick up gravel toward the girl and one rock strikes her in the temple, causing a skull fracture and brain hemorrhage.
Alt names - Pit-y Party
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Pebbles of Punishment"
No Fun-Gus.
Way to Die #661
On October 5, 2005, in St. Louis, MO. A recovering alcoholic brings his callous, alcoholic wife to his sobriety party. She humiliates herself, devours several homemade pizzas, pours liquor into the punch bowl, and guzzles the mixture. The woman dies from a reaction caused by the ink cap mushrooms and the alcohol she consumed, as ink cap mushrooms become poisonous when mixed with alcohol.
Alt names - Mushroom Capped
Pain Saw.
Way to Die #161
On May 28, 2003, in Pratt, KS. A man tries to get the attention of his attractive neighbor by tying a rope to his chainsaw and swinging it over his head. The rope gets tangled and pulls the chainsaw into his neck, partially beheading him, but bleeding him out enough to die of shock.
Alt names - Unchained Malady
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "The Kansas Chainsaw Massacre"
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Ring-A-Ding Dead.
Way to Die #408
On June 13, 2008, in Portland, OR. A hipster with a habit of crashing and stealing from yard sales finds a ring in a box and puts it on, not realizing that it's a ring-sized gun. When the homeowner tries to take the ring back (which belonged to his grandfather), a scuffle breaks out and the weapon fires, hitting the thief in the face.
Alt names - One Ring To Kill Them All
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Ring of Fire"
Ass-Plosion.
Way to Die #830
On January 4, 2001, in Del Mar, CA. A Scottish bodybuilder successfully eliminates his opponents in a Strongest Man competition by cheating. When he has to lift a large rock, the pressure caused by his body expels his intestines out his rectum and he has a massive heart attack.
Alt names - Strongman's Sad Day
Lac-Toasted.
Way to Die #399
On August 15, 2006, in Waterloo, IA. A flasher harasses a group of mothers feeding their babies in the park, and drinks one of the baby bottles. The mothers -- who are revealed to be members of an underground fight club called "M.I.L.F" ["Moms I'd Like To Fight"] -- are incensed and beat up the man. The man doesn't die from getting pummelled by the mothers, but from a fatal allergic reaction to peanuts (the breast milk he drank earlier came from a mother who had been eating peanuts before nursing her child).
Alt names - Bobby Slammed
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Got Monstrous Milk?"
Phlegm Phatale.
Way to Die #656
On November 17, 2007, in Elmira, NY. A couple are on their first date after meeting over the Internet. The male is a complete germaphobe, spraying everything with disinfectant and even using a neti pot to cleanse his sinuses before meeting the woman. However, by using tap water in the pot instead of distilled, he contracts a "Naegleria fowleri" infection that attacks his brain and kills him.
Alt names - Neti Say Goodbye
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death, The Final Frontier |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death, The New Black
Death, The New Black.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 48.
Originally aired July 18, 2011.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Splat-Formed.
Way to Die #147
On September 5, 1977, in Harlem, NY. A cocaine dealer, who was also addicted to the drug he sold, goes to a disco to show off his moves and have fun. When he trips in his platform shoes, the spearheaded end of his male symbol necklace pierces his jugular vein, and he bleeds to death faster than normal due to the cocaine and dancing giving him a rapid heartbeat.
Alt names - Dead as Disco
Who Fart-Dead?.
Way to Die #325
On November 10, 2008, in Seattle, WA. A group of sorority pledges enter a sauna contest, in which the one who can stay in the longest gets to skip Hell Week. One pledge has been eating beans and broccoli for a week, giving herself severe gas. Her continuous farting forces all the other pledges to flee the sauna in disgust, but before she can get out, she dies from dehydration, high body core temperature, and second/third degree burns all over her body.
Alt names - Hot Boxed
Him-Paled.
Way to Die #237
On May 10, 2008, in Philadelphia, PA. A pervert uses his camera phone to get upskirt photos of women. While standing behind a woman (who is wearing a skirt with no underwear) at a streetside coffee vendor, the woman freaks out and the construction worker standing next to her goes to beat up the pervert. Meanwhile, another construction worker 8 stories up trips over a sandbag and lets go of a piece of rebar with falls from the sky and impales the pervert from his shoulder through his side, impaling his heart.
Alt names - Rubbed Out
Note: This features the fourth instance of an interview being kept in shadow for criminal protection and the first of a possible fake name for a voyeur named Thomas J. Peepus.
Jablowni.
Way to Die #309
On June 2, 2006, in West Deptford, NJ. An arrogant twenty-something bodybuilder orders his beleaguered girlfriend to inflate a pool raft. After she gets fed up and quits, he inflates the raft with flammable tire sealant and throws it in the pool. Once he climbs on he lowers his arm and the cigarette makes contact with the raft and explodes due to the ashes popping the raft and igniting the tire sealant. The man is thrown from the explosion into the air and come back down smashing through the water, cracking his skull and causing brain hemorrhage.
Alt names - Rafted
Ass-Hoppered.
Way to Die #213 (Note: This is the second death to have this number)
On April 20, 2010, in Humboldt County, CA. Two men in rural California attempt to grow marijuana for money, but end up smoking their stash. The two get "the munchies," but having no food, one man decides to eat a grasshopper. Unknowingly allergic to a protein in the bug's exoskeleton, he goes into anaphylactic shock and dies when his throat swells shut.
Alt names - Bake Out
Ball Sacked.
Way to Die #497
On October 3, 2007, in Coalville, WV. An angry football coach has been reduced to working at a small-town high school after being fired for cheating. As he tries to toughen up his players in an outlawed "Bull Ring" drill, the coach is hit by a player, stumbles from the hit and into the path of a kicker's kick, which hits him in the groin. The kicker was given lead insets in his cleats just before practice and the force of the kick causes the coach's pelvis to shatter and a piece of bone to lodge into his kidneys and give him a fatal case of septic shock.
Alt names - Sports Nut
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Big Boned.
Way to Die #306
On December 17, 2004, in Reno, NV. Two drunken insurance salesmen crash a beauty pageant for plus-sized women. One of the men heckles the contestants by mooing and making fat jokes. The three finalists step out on the end of the runway (which was not meant to hold their weight) to yell at him. The runway support snaps and all three women (who, when combined, weigh 997 pounds) fall on the heckler and crush him to death.
Alt names - Crushed by the Competition
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death, The New Black |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Be Not Stupid
Death Be Not Stupid.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 9.
Originally aired March 15, 2009.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Gas-Hole.
Way to Die #502
On May 19, 2002, at Glacier National Park, in West Glacier, MT. A wanted drug dealer hides out in the wilderness. Wanting to get drunk, but having no booze (and not willing to get caught by authorities by setting foot in a bar or liquor store), he siphons the gasoline from his motorcycle, thinking he can drink it because it contains ethanol, but is unable to keep it down. When he vomits it back up into his campfire, he is engulfed in flames.
Alt names - Confusing Beverages
Ichiboned.
Way to Die #1
On November 21, 1987, at Tanaka Residence, in Tokyo, Japan. A young, shy Japanese couple that has been married for seven years are too repressed to even consummate their marriage by making love. One day, after a bottle of plum wine, they try again, and this time succeed. Their hearts were not physically ready for such a shock, however, and they both die from cardiac arrest after achieving simultaneous orgasms.
Alt names - Love at First Strike
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Jake N' Baked.
Way to Die #518
On December 15, 1990, at H.A. Metal Works, in Long Beach, CA. A narcoleptic metal worker falls asleep in a curing oven. When a friend/co-worker locks him in and turns the oven on to 600 °F for 12 hours, not knowing the man is in the oven, he is burned alive.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Die It.
Way to Die #734
On June 12, 2003, at Darlene's House, in Evanston, IL. A woman, desperate to lose weight, swallows tapewormlarvae. They eat everything she does, and eventually breed, spread throughout her body, and start consuming her internal organs, killing her.
Alt names - As the Tapeworm Turns
Pained Gun.
Way to Die #499
On September 20, 2006, in Simi Valley, CA. A pair of high-school boys film themselves doing drive-bys on people with a paintball gun as part of a hare-brained plot to become viral video stars on YouTube. When the gun malfunctions, one of the boys shoots the canister of CO2 at 200 mph into the larynx of his friend, which breaks his neck and kills him. (This features the youngest person to have been killed in any of the stories to date.)
Note: This features the one of the youngest people to have been killed in any of the stories to date.
Deadliest Catch.
Way to Die #283
On July 17, 2000, at Laguna del Perro, in Willard, NM. An easily agitated electrician tries his hand at fishing to calm his nerves, but is frustrated by not being able to make a catch. He strings a 12,000 volt electrical wire into the lake to kill the fish, but accidentally steps off the wooden boat seat with his bare feet onto the metal of the boat floor, electrocuting himself.
Alt names - Electrocuted Fisherman
Escape Death Segment 9.
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Be Not Stupid |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Be a Lady Tonight
Death Be a Lady Tonight.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 49.
Originally aired July 25, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the popular jazz standard song "Luck Be a Lady". In addition to this, three of the casualties are females.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Half-Offed.
Way to Die #745
On July 15, 2001, in Reno, NV. An obnoxious impatient executive bullies his way through a taxi line and steals the cab from a woman with several bags, demanding the ride is his. As he's arguing with the woman and the bellhop, a tow truck speeds by with a loose hook, which gets caught in the taxi's trunk, pinning the man against the cab, quickly slicing him in half, and severing his spinal cord, bisecting him.
Alt names - Taxi-Scab
Smoke Stalked.
Way to Die #459
On March 8, 2004, in Holbrook, AZ. A psychotic ex-girlfriend stalks her newly-married boyfriend and his happy wife to the point that her invasions become threatening. Desperate to take their minds off the stalker, the couple go on vacation, during which the stalker tries to break in through the chimney and gets stuck. Trapped for a week, she slowly dies of a mix of starvation, dehydration, and suffocation until her body's finally freed by her returning boyfriend, noticing her corpse is preventing him from starting a fire in the flue.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Sudden Death.
Way to Die #619
On July 21, 2006, in Emmett, MI. A fantasy football fanatic annoys everyone at a sports bar with his repeated yells at players and shouting out how many points they gained or cost him in his fantasy league. When he tries to change the shown game to another more favorable one, he triggers a bar fight and manages to slip off, only for a piece of a shattered beer mug to fly towards him and pierce through his neck, slicing his jugular vein and carotid artery, causing him to bleed to death within moments.
Alt names - Last Call
Note: This segment was not to be confused with 1000 WTD -- Episode #36.
Raider of the Lost Narc.
Way to Die #271
On February 22, 2002, in Sterling, CO. A junkie, desperate for her fix, calls in a bogus 911 call, sending a hospital's paramedics speeding out. Hiding behind a dumpster and watching the ambulances head out, she quickly rushes in through the open garage door and pockets several bottles of morphine before trying to rush back out through the closing door. But, dropping one of the bottles, she reaches back to try to retrieve it and is crushed by the garage door, which had a broken safety shutoff switch.
Alt names - Achin' Ambulance
Bats All Folks.
Way to Die #324
On May 22, 2005, in Hohhot, China. An unscrupulous antiquities trader and tomb raider sneaks into a cave and steals a 1,000-year-old warrior statue, only to awaken a colony of bats. One of the bats bites the tomb raider in the neck, infecting him with the SARS virus, which kills him two weeks later.
Alt names - Gone Batty!
Pimp My Death.
Way to Die #257
On April 3, 2005, in Washington, D.C.. A hooker charms her way into a desperate married man's hotel room on the pretense of finding him attractive. But when she reveals her profession and insists on $2,000 for the night, the man refuses to pay leading to her calling her pimp. When the man arrives, she uses their confrontation as a chance to take the $2,000 from the man's wallet, then tries to hide in the bathroom to be able to make her getaway, only for her boss to shove the man into her, causing her to fall into the edge of a marble sink and split her head open.
Alt names - Curtain Call Girl
Note: This features the fifth instance of an interviewee being kept in shadow for criminal protection in the case of an escort named Natasha Noriega.
Drone Boned.
Way to Die #370
On November 5, 2008, in Korengal Valley, Afghanistan. A pair of terrorists who have killed American soldiers with rifles and homemade bombs hide out in an abandoned building. Meanwhile in Nevada, an American pilot (and former video game master) uses a predator drone to flush out the terrorists. The drone finds its way into the abandoned building and fires a missile at its target. The missile explodes, blowing up the two terrorists, and leaving nothing left but a severed hand.
Alt names - Predator Drone Attack
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Be a Lady Tonight |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Behind Bars
| Death Behind Bars |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Bites!
Death Bites!
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 14.
Originally aired December 9, 2009.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Ass Phyxiated.
Way to Die #451
On April 6, 2005, in Omaha, NE. A travelling salesman with a fetish for fat women meets an extremely overweight woman, seduces her and manages to get her to have sex with him. She passes out on top of the man after climaxing and suffocates him.
Alt names - Plumper Humper
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Work Of Fart.
Way to Die #103
On March 3, 2005, in Boston, MA. To prepare for a fraternity farting contest, a college student hires a flatulence trainer known for his unconventional methods. The trainer applies a lit blow torch to the student's buttocks and is killed when the student's gases set him on fire.
Crash-endo.
Way to Die #76
On September 9, 1996, in New York City, NY. A talented but clumsy violinist who worships her hands rolls on top of her ankle and falls down a flight of stairs. Refusing to break the fall with her hands, she slams her head against the wall when she reaches the bottom and dies of a skull fracture.
Vermin-ated.
Way to Die #505
On August 4, 2003, in Macon, GA. A convicted robber on the run hides in a drainage pipe and gets stuck. Later that night, rats appear and start eating him alive, eventually eating into his brain.
Alt names - Mort's Bad Day
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
French Fried.
Way to Die #105
On December 23, 1988, in Milwaukee, WI. A French maid performs for a dying elderly millionaire in bed who is hooked up to a respirator to bring oxygen into his body. The maid plugs Christmas lights in and wraps them around herself, which causes the house's circuits to overload and the power to go out. The respirator stops operating, and the man dies from lack of oxygen.
Bomb-Bino.
Way to Die #803
On June 27, 1994, in Palermo, Italy. An Italian man who made the mistake of borrowing money from the Mafia without being able to pay them back is forced to dig his own grave as two mobsters, ignoring his pleas, have a picnic nearby. While digging, the man unearths a World War II fragmentation grenade, which he throws at the mobsters' picnic area, not knowing what it is. The grenade explodes in the mobsters' faces, killing them instantly, but the man is spared because the mound of dirt he created from digging acted as a barrier.
Die-Agra.
Way to Die #186
On November 4, 2001, in Darien, CT. A woman in a failing marriage secretly grinds up three Viagra pills and puts them into her husband's beer in an attempt to "jump start" his sex drive. The man then gets a call from his mistress and takes three more Viagra pills before going to her house. The mistress later drops another three pills into his beer. During sex with his mistress, too much blood rushes to his penis because of the 900 mg overdose of Viagra, depriving his brain of blood and eventually killing him.
Alt names - Too Much Medication
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Bites! |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Certificates
Death Certificates.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 71.
Originally aired July 15, 2012.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Heim-Licked.
Way to Die #514
On June 16, 2010, in Orlando, FL. A fitness camp instructor partial to attractive women tries to intimidate an overweight client and make her quit (since he can't legally tell her to leave, or he'll get sued for discrimination). When she finally leaves in frustration, he mockingly eats some of the junk food she leaves behind but begins to choke. He tries to bounce on a yoga ball to perform a Heimlich maneuver, but then falls on a lawn sprinkler and impales himself through the mouth and breaks his neck.
Alt names - Boot Camp
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
This Bird Has Flu.
Way to Die #265
On September 18, 2008, in Lima, Peru. A Peruvian man smuggles birds over international borders by sedating them and taping them to his ankles under his pant legs. Not realizing that the birds are infected with avian flu, he contracts it from them and soon asphyxiates to death due to fluid accumulation in his lungs.
Alt names - A Bird In The Pants
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Bird Flu Horror"
Keester Sunday.
Way to Die #360
On February 11, 2009, in Portland, OR. Two cocaine smuggler brothers get caught and put in the back of a transport vehicle. While the cop searches their car, one of the smugglers has the other pull a hidden water balloon filled with cocaine out of his rectum to hide the evidence, the cop told them that he would search their bodies. After popping it, they then proceed to ingest all the loose cocaine, but this causes them both to die of heart attacks.
Alt names - Keester-Concealed
Kill Bill & Billie.
Way to Die #249
On May 12, 2010, in Altoona, PA. Suspecting his wife of adultery, an argumentative husband hires a hitman to follow her and, if he finds her with a man, kill them both. Meanwhile, the husband goes to a motel and hires a prostitute, who turns out to be his wife. As they begin arguing again, the hitman (who followed the husband's orders to the letter) comes in and shoots the wife and the husband.
Alt names - Honeymoon Killers
I Spy A Dead Guy.
Way to Die #519
On December 20, 2008, in Boston, MA. A former CIA agent, now working in industrial espionage, breaks into an office to steal information. When a security guard catches him, he locks himself in a closet and dives through a hatch in the wall, falling down a garbage chute and into an incinerator. The unit switches on and quickly incinerates the man, leaving nothing but his skeleton.
Alt names - In-Sin-Erator
Eye So Horny.
Way to Die #187
On August 8, 2001, in Clayton, GA. Two brothers get drunk on their own moonshine and pretend they are in a bullfight. One brother grabs a moose head from the fireplace and charges, but he trips and impales himself through the eye on the antlers of a stuffed deer head.
Alt names - Manse-Meat
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Moose on the Loose"
North By Northwasted.
Way to Die #411
On July 22, 2009, in Lompoc, CA. A director is trying to recreate the airplane scene from the film "North by Northwest", using little people as actors and a remote-controlled plane. The actor in Cary Grant's role jumps out of the way of the plane, which flies past the director and slashes his carotid artery with its wing.
Alt names - North By Northwaste
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Certificates |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Gets Busy
Death Gets Busy.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 6.
Originally aired February 22, 2009.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Deep Fried.
Way to Die #610
On October 26, 1999, at Tool & Die Works, in Akron, OH. A metal shop worker with serious anger issues is fired after his co-workers and boss grow tired of the man's outbursts. When he returns to work to get revenge on his boss, the latter shoves the former in self-defense into a vat of hydrochloric acid, which eats away at the former employee's flesh and internal organs.
Alt names - Acid Bath
Gorgeous Gorge.
Way to Die #892
On May 2, 2004, at Beechwood Hotel, in New York City, NY. A supermodel who uses bulimia to keep herself thin orders everything on the room service hotel menu and stuffs her face with food. When she goes to the bathroom to throw up, her stomach splits open from eating too much food and she dies from a peritonitis.
Alt names - Too Much Junk Food
Re-Tired.
Way to Die #347
On June 4, 2005, at Ted's Tire Service, in Bakersfield, CA. A porn addict reads a dirty magazine while inflating a truck tire. Distracted by the magazine, the man forgets to check on the tire. After a while, the tire explodes from over-inflation, lodging pieces of shrapnel from the metal tire rim into his brain and killing him.
Alt names - Tire Blast
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Botoxicated.
Way to Die #652
On August 16, 1998, at Debbie's House, in Carbondale, IL. A woman desperate to get rid of her wrinkles hires an inexperienced doctor to administer Botox in her home. The man unknowingly injects pure botulinum toxin into her face, resulting in intense pain and paralysis. While lying in a hot tub trying to relax, the woman's entire body becomes paralyzed and she slips underwater and drowns.
Choke-A-Lot.
Way to Die #498
On March 27, 1975, at Homefood Cafe, in Peachtree City, GA. Two dim-witted kitchen aides play by throwing cocoa powder at each other in a confined room. The powder impairs the alveoli in their lungs and they suffocate to death.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Sex Ray.
Way to Die #629
On March 12, 2001, at St Jude's Hospital, in Jackson, MI. A man is having an x-ray of his head taken when the doctor and nurse begin having sex in the control room. They accidentally hit the exposure button repeatedly while having sex, eventually giving the patient a lethal dose of radiation and frying his brain, killing him.
Alt names - X-Ray Attack
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Last Strike.
Way to Die #200
On November 10, 1992, in Los Angeles, CA. a University Football Player gets wasted, so much so that he gets police attention, trying to run from the cops he smashes through a Mirror thinking that his reflex was someone else and bleeds to death from a cut Jugular Vein.
Escape Death Segment 6.
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Gets Busy |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death List
WARNING:
The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic."
"Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted.
""YOU WILL DIE!"
"The human body is remarkably resilient..."
"Every day we fight a new WAR against GERMS, TOXINS, INJURY, ILLNESS, CATASTROPHE and Calamity."
"The fact that we survive at all is a miracle..."
"Because, every day we live..."
"We face '1000 WAYS TO DIE"'.""
| Death List |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Locations
| Death Locations |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Mysteries
| Death Mysteries |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Not Be Stupid
| Death Not Be Stupid |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death On A Stick
Death On A Stick.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 25.
Originally aired August 3, 2010.
Title reference: A spoof to the saying "Food on a Stick".
-- This is the Original Episode --
A peeper takes a bath / a pool hopper goes belly-up / the three soldiers got blown up / a gigolo goes gums up / a bachelorette takes a mouthful / a monk takes on a donkey / a boy band hits rock bottom
Blood Bath & Beyond.
Way to Die #354
On May 11, 2005, in Queens, NY. A landlord uses a fiber optic scope to spy on young female tenants. One day while spying on a woman from below in her bathroom, the above floor collapses from water damage due to all the holes he drilled and the tub (with the bathing woman inside of it) crushes his head.
Note: This features the second time an interviewee has been kept in shadow for criminal protection, a voyeur known as "Paul".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Easy Slider.
Way to Die #418
On May 17, 2008, in Henderson, NV. A couple finds a pool to hop into while the owners are away. After getting drunk and playing in the pool, the guy takes out a tarp and prepares to slide in the pool not noticing the nail (from when he was playing with a nail gun earlier) sticking up in the center of it. He then slides down the tarp, has his intestines torn out, and is killed quickly (but painfully) from blood loss and hypovolemic shock by the time he lands in the water.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Mine Over Splatter.
Way to Die #337
On May 8, 1985, in Da Nang, Vietnam. Three former Vietnamese soldiers are arguing about what is the best aphrodisiac and decide to settle the score once and for all by playing Russian roulette. The three all dodge the bullet in the gun they use for the game and feel so invincible that they stomp the ground, which sets off an underground land mine left over from the Vietnam War that was buried underneath their shack. The explosion demolishes the shack and leaves nothing but a severed head from one of the men.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Gum's the Word.
Way to Die #261
On December 9, 2003, in Palm Springs, CA. A male nurse who has sex with and robs old women of their money and valuables targets an old lady who has bad breath (a disgusting fact the man finds out after the old lady kisses him). After feeling sick, he runs into the bathroom and ingests several denture whitening tablets he believed were mints. After washing them down with water that had more denture cleaner dissolved in it, the chemicals dissolve his digestive tract while removing the oxygen in his blood. He bleeds and suffocates to death on the bathroom floor.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Bird Brained.
Way to Die #378
On May 31, 2007, in New York, NY. A politically conservative bachelorette has a party in a limousine with her friends. She plans on just getting drunk on champagne, until her friends give her absinthe. In her drunken stupor, she sticks her head out of the limousine's sunroof and a low flying pigeon flies into her open mouth, snapping her neck and killing her.
Alt names - One Flew Over the Bachelorette
Inquisi-Torn.
Way to Die #919
On June 6, 1483, in Cordoba, Spain. An inventor of the Spanish Donkey named Father Gomez is denounced as a heretic during the Spanish Inquisition. He is then placed on his own device and slowly is split to death.
Boys 2 Dead.
Way to Die #87
On June 23, 2009, in Canoga Park, CA. A has-been/over-the-hill/one-hit wonder boy band performs at a dive bar to a less-than-excited audience. While invisioning a roaring crowd of fans, the lead singer then decides to crowd surf, though the audience does not catch him and he lands on the floor, snapping his neck and dying.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death On A Stick |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death On Arrival
Death On Arrival.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 13.
Originally aired December 7, 2009.
Title reference: A slight reworking of Dead on arrival or D.O.A. (not to be confused with Way to Die #614.)
-- This is the Original Episode --
Titty Titty Bang Bang.
Way to Die #948
On June 6, 2006, in San Diego, CA. A woman decides to become a stripper after months of doing low-level work temp work and not earning enough to support her dreams of being an actress. Thinking that her breasts are too small for her to be a good stripper, she decides to get large breast implants to compensate. However, the plastic surgeon who gave her the implants was unlicensed and the implants she got were substandard and filled with water containing dissolved oxygen instead of silicone. While on a plane, the atmospheric pressure causes the implants to expand and explode, blowing out the woman's chest and killing her from heart exposure.
Alt names - Bad Explosions
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Forked-Up.
Way to Die #714
On July 13, 2006, in Chester, PA. Two men under the influence of marijuana decide to play on a forklift. One drives while the other is pulled on a platform behind him attached with a rope, but when the rope gets caught under the tire of another vehicle, the rope constricts around the rider so tightly that it severs his torso.
UninTented.
Way to Die #590
On June 15, 2009, in Jerome, AZ. During a hike in the desert, a nymphomaniac dumps her boyfriend after discovering that he cannot satisfy her. She spends the rest of the time masturbating inside her tent until a freak wind sweeps the tent into the air with her still inside. After flying for a while, the tent crashes into the roof of a shed, fracturing the woman's skull and killing her. The man who discovers the tent on his porch later opens it to find the dead body.
Tali-Bombed.
Way to Die #123
On April 1, 2005, in Patna, Iraq. Two would-be terrorists plan to blow up a police station with a bomb involving a suitcase filled with Semtex using a GPS timer. They set the timer for one hour from one of their watches, but he forgot to reset it for daylight savings time, causing the bomb to blow up, killing both men.
Alt names - Bomby McBomber
Vike-O-Done.
Way to Die #515
In the year 1011 AD, in Hvarslo, Norway. A Viking kills and decapitates his rival, and he swings the severed head in victory. However, the teeth of the head accidentally strike his thigh, causing an infection that he dies of blood poisoning ten days later.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Deadliest Munch.
Way to Die #444
On June 7, 2008, in Stockton, CA. A lesbian comes home to find that her lover burned their dinner for the evening. To lighten the mood, the woman's lover reveals that she is wearing a candy bra and G-string. The lesbian begins eating the G-string, but it snaps and then she chokes to death on it.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Dead Meat-Eorite.
Way to Die #913
On May 11, 2006, in Woodland Hills, CA. At an outdoor pool party, a man tries to make friends by telling them about Christianity, but is unsuccessful. Later, while standing beside the pool to talk to a girl, a stray meteorite descending towards Earth strikes him through the chest, killing him.
Alt names - Meteorite Strikes
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death On Arrival |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Over Easy
Death Over Easy.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 4.
Originally aired February 8, 2009.
Title reference: A spoof to the saying "Eggs over Easy".
-- This is the Original Episode --
A smoker gets flamed / a beautiful dreamer who can't wake up / a pool-shot that cannot swallow / peeping perverts, the ultimate night snack / freaks in animal suits do wild things / an inmate gets caught in a broken wire
Butt F***ed.
Way to Die #316
On December 21, 1978, at Mercy Care, in Mobile, AL. A man falls asleep while smoking and sets himself on fire. He is rescued, taken to the hospital, and wrapped from head to toe in bandages soaked in burn medicine to treat his 3rd-degree burns. After 3 weeks in the hospital without a cigarette, he bribes a nurse to let him outside for a few minutes. He smuggles a cigarette out and lights up, but the ashes from the cigarette ignite his bandages. As he struggles to put the fire out, his wheelchair rolls down the ramp, and at the bottom, his oxygen tank explodes causing 4th degree burning.
Alt names - Fire Man
Frightmare.
Way to Die #818
On June 15, 1995, at Alexis' Apartment, in Fargo, ND. A woman suffers from SUNDS (Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome) , and dies in her sleep from cardiac arrhythmia, brought on by an intense nightmare she could not wake up from involving a demonic Freddy Krueger-like dwarf choking her.
Alt names - A Nightmare on SUNDS Street
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Oprah Winfried.
Way to Die #97
On November 12, 1986, at Folsom Prison, in Folsom, CA. An obnoxious, abusive and Machiavellian former death row inmate who was going to be executed via the electric chair has his sentence commuted to life without parole, much to the disgust of his lawyer, and the inmate celebrates by watching "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on his metallic prison toilet, only for the TV reception to go off. Desperately, he tries to fix it, but is ironically electrocuted to death after he grabs the exposed portion of the power cord with his hand.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Alt names - Tues-Baked
Em-Bear-Assed.
Way to Die #412
On April 16, 2001, at Mojave Desert, in Palmdale, CA. A man under the influence of magic mushrooms comes across a group of furries in animal costumes having fun by being engaged in an orgy around a campfire in the desert and attempts to join in, but is rebuffed. He mistakes a nearby mother brown bear for one of the participants and not noticing that the bear was real, the man is mauled to death.
Alt names - Un-BEAR-ably Attack
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Midnight Choker.
Way to Die #625
On December 18, 2006, at Jack's Bar, in Gary, IN. A man impresses bar patrons by swallowing a billiard ball (the 8-ball in particular) and then bringing it back up. He tries to repeat the trick with the larger diameter cue ball, but the increased size prevents the ball from passing back up his throat, choking him.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Window Pained.
Way to Die #269
On August 22, 1998, at Su Su's House, in Atlanta, GA. A peeping tom spies on a woman dancing around her house in lingerie. He partially enters a window to get a better look, but is spotted and accidentally hits the window support. The window breaks his neck between the C2 and C3 vertebrae, killing him.
Note: This has the first instance of an interviewee being kept in shadow for criminal protection, in the case of a voyeur named "Nick".
Broke-Back Cowboy.
Way to Die #133
On April 12, 1996, Wade, a Wanna-be Cowboy who wants to become a big Actor. is talking to his manager when suddenly his horse trips over a stone sending wade to the floor, breaking his neck and killing the cowboy
Escape Death Segment 4.
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Over Easy |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Penalties
Death Penalties.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 61.
Originally aired January 25, 2012.
Note: This episode only had six deaths, as opposed to the normal seven, with the sixth and final segment being twice as long as the others, making this episode the only episode with six deaths that is not from Season 1.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Recep-Shunned.
Way to Die #496
On July 3, 2010, in Warwick, RI. An obnoxious wedding singer performs an insulting song, making fun of the groom being tricked into marrying the bride, who is pregnant and has herpes. When the groom goes to punch the singer, the best man tries to calm him down, only to be pushed away into the microphone stand, causing the microphone to lodge in the singer's throat. The wedding singer, as a result, dies from asphyxiation.
Alt names - Wedding Swinger
Dyin' Maiden.
Way to Die #874
On September 4, 1789, in Lyon, France. During the French Revolution, a spy posing as a maid tries to kill a magistrate to get his money, but is stopped by the magistrate's assistant. For committing treason, the maid/spy is sentenced to death by being shoved inside an iron maiden and impaled.
Alt names - Iron Maid
Teri-Yucky.
Way to Die #358
On October 5, 2006, in Bremerton, WA. A master chef at a Benihana-style Japanese grill restaurant owns a set of precious knives. One night, the busboy of the restaurant steals the knives to role-play as the chef. When he throws one of them high in the air, he manages to catch it, but it severs a support rope holding up a giant Buddha head decoration. The decoration slams into the busboy and causes him to face plant into the hot grill, which scorches his face and kills him from fatal burns.
Alt names - Burning Japanese
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
No Guts... All Gory.
Way to Die #950
On September 23, 2001, in Leesburg, FL. A common street thief who regularly mugs passersby goes after a diving equipment vendor as he's loading his merchandise into his car. The vendor uses a knife to stab at the street thief (despite that fighting back against an armed mugger is ill-advised) and the knife gets lodged in the thief's side. As the thief tries to pull it out, he presses a button that releases a burst of nitrogen (the knife in particular is used to subdue sharks during deep-sea diving excursions), which causes the thief's viscera to explode all over the parking lot.
Alt names - Knife Surprise
She-Manned.
Way to Die #24
On November 3, 2007, in Venice Beach, CA. A female bodybuilder who works as a fetish actress for weak men who are attracted to physically strong women is taking a bath to prepare for her best customer. While under the influence of muscle relaxants and alcohol, she slips into the water, but gets out before she can breathe in any more water. However, while trying to crush a watermelon between her thighs for her best customer, she chokes to death and dies from dry drowning.
Alt names - Wet & Dry
Apocalypse Harley.
Way to Die #445
On April 16, 2011, in Hollywood, CA. A Marlon Brando-esque mercenary has been hired to take down a Charlie Sheen-esque TV actor who has been in the news for his erratic, misogynistic behavior, and his cocaine abuse. When the mercenary has the actor cornered in his mansion, the actor races to the kitchen to snort cocaine and get his machete. While running circles around the mercenary, the actor trips and stabs himself in the heart with his own weapon. He manages to utter, "Winning!" to one of his live-in prostitutes before dying.
Alt names - Apocalypse Charlie
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Penalties |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Puts On a Dunce Cap
Death Puts On a Dunce Cap.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 32.
Originally aired November 2, 2010.
Note: This was a mistake episode
-- This is the Original Episode --
Tenta-killed.
Way to Die #959
On March 14, 2003, in Seattle, WA. An overprotective, traditional South Korean-American immigrant father named Kim who aims to scare away his daughter's boyfriend Ree (a Westernized Korean American) invites him for a traditional South Korean dinner. After the boyfriend Ree eats live prawn and sea worms, Kim requests for him to swallow a live baby octopus. Once the hopeful suitor declines, Kim eats his own, only for the baby octopus' suction cups to attach itself to Kim's trachea, causing him to choke to death.
Alt names - Eaten Alive
Orspasm.
Way to Die #268
On December 24, 1993, in Beaverton, OR. A woman who suffers from persistent genital arousal disorder is abused by her sadistic boyfriend, who takes pleasure in making her suffer involuntary orgasms. One day, as the couple climb up the stairs, the boyfriend pokes his lover in the back with a vibrating back massager. The woman goes into one of her spasms and ends up knocking her boyfriend down the stairs. The fall breaks his neck and severs his spinal cord, causing him to suffocate to death.
Alt names - Cluster F**ked
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Cluster Victimized".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Furdered.
Way to Die #61
On June 4, 2010, in Upper Peninsula, MI. A hunter in the Michigan wilderness dressed in the pelt of an animal travels through the forest. After climbing out of one of his own spike traps and falling inches away from a bear trap, he is shot by another hunter who mistakes him for an animal. The bullet enters the man's neck and exits his hip, and he bleeds to death.
Alt names - Pitfall
Vuvu...Whatever, He's Dead.
Way to Die #398
On November 21, 2009, in Tucson, AZ. At a soccer match, a soccer-obsessed nuisance buys a vuvuzela and vigorously blows it, straining to blow harder with each successful sound. The pressure caused by blowing the horn nonstop causes a brain aneurysm.
Alt names - Feelin' Horny
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Vuvuzelized".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Injecti-cide.
Way to Die #930
On January 11, 2008, in Monterey, CA. An elderly, former supermodel and beauty queen injects corn oil into her face to keep her skin looking fresh and beautiful as a substitute for expensive Botox injections. Eventually, the oil makes her bleed out from her eyes and lips and causes cell death in her heart and lungs.
Alt names - Filler' Up
Scratch n' Snuffed.
Way to Die #220
On November 2, 2008, in Hattiesburg, VA. A politician drops dead after being voted out of office, being humiliated by widespread news of a scandal] involving visits to South America to see his Brazilian mistress, and going broke after his wife abandons him. When the politician was on one of these trips ten years earlier, he was bitten by a triatominae. After numerous visits and numerous bits, he to develop Chagas' disease, which in turn led to a fatal cardiac arrhythmia.
Alt names - Buggered
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Indecent Insect".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Implo-dead.
Way to Die #503
On July 27, 2009, in Baltimore, MD. A crack-addicted couple on the run from the law for committing murder and robbery hide out in an abandoned building, not knowing that it is slated for demolition. When the crew sets off explosives to bring down the building, tons of falling rubble crush the couple to death.
Alt names - Smacked Down
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Puts On a Dunce Cap |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Takes A Vacation
Death Takes A Vacation.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 59.
Originally aired November 14, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the movie from 1962 with James Stewart; "Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation".
-- This is the Original Episode --
a bouncer who got beamed / a japanese rockstar causes suicide / a food vendor who gets deep fried / a chemical owner who tried to stop a leak / a drug smuggler gets a lethal tie dye / a mime who pickled up / a tennis girl who hit her target
Velvet Dope.
Way to Die #272
On May 21, 2010, in Philadelphia, PA. An ill-tempered bouncer (and former convict) repeatedly refuses to let two men into a club for not having money or good looks. One of the men becomes impatient and nudges the bouncer, who drives him back against an overhanging support beam. The beam snaps, with one piece impaling the bouncer through the head.
Alt names - Dead Carpet
Bull-Shido.
Way to Die #965
On December 11, 2006, in Osaka, Japan. After the suffocation death of his band mate (from Coffin to Death), a Japanese rock star realizes that he's untalented and a disgrace to the music world, so he decides to commit Japanese ritualistic suicide. After he slices his stomach open, he waits to bleed to death only to be decapitated by a family member and his sword.
Alt names - Urning Japanese
Batter Upped.
Way to Die #899
On January 26, 2003, in Abilene, Texas. A food vendor at a carnival tries to seduce his co-worker in the booth by erotically feeding her "a la" "9 1/2 Weeks". His co-worker enjoys it, until the food vendor tries to make out with her. The co-worker resists and dumps a bucket of flour over his head and runs off to her car. The food vendor goes after her, but ends up running into a pole and face-planting into a deep-fryer, which gives him fatal burns. The woman forgets her keys so she goes back, and sees much to her horror, the man's frying corpse.
Alt names - Fried D'oh
Caught In A Lye.
Way to Die #771
On September 25, 2001, at the Czech Republic. A chemical plant owner lies to safety inspectors about his waste disposal practices. When one of them notices a pipe leaking hazardous sodium hydroxide solution, he tries to stop the leak by closing a valve. Instead, the chemical spews all over him, destroying his skin and body tissues.
Alt names - Mud Fried
Dead On Arrival.
Way to Die #614
On November 6, 2002, in San Francisco, CA. A drug smuggler creates a tie-dyed T-shirt soaked in blotter acid so he can avoide detection at the airport. The smuggler gets nervous and begins sweating, causing him to absorb a massive overdose through his skin and suffer a heart attack, stroke and massive hyperthermia.
Alt names - Acid Washed
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Tie Die".
Dead Mime ☺.
Way to Die #211
On June 26, 1997, in Portland, OR. An annoying mime who resorts to harassing passersby in a park stops to eat a pickle for lunch. One piece gets lodged in his throat and causes him to choke to death, but the passersby do not stop to help, thinking that this is part of his act.
Alt names - Never Mime
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Never Mine About It".
Her Own Damn Fault!!!.
Way to Die #556
On July 27, 2004, in Chatsworth, CA. A lecherous wife invites her husband's boss and his boss's wife for a game of tennis. When the woman publicly tries to seduce the boss, his wife serves a ball that hits her in the head, stunning her. She stumbles against the hand crank used to tighten the net, releasing it so that it strikes her in the head. The blow leads to her death from a skull fracture and swelling of her brain.
Alt names - Game Set Splat
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Tennis the Menace".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
| Death Takes A Vacation |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death Watch
Death Watch.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 20.
Originally aired January 27, 2010.
Title Derived from: The 1980 film of the same name with Romy Schneider.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Washed And Fried.
Way to Die #238
On September 28, 2001, in Simi Valley, CA. Desperate to make extra money, five strippers pose as college cheerleaders offering car washes. As they are washing an elderly widower's dirty van, the exposed cord of a power buffer gets wet and electrocutes all five women.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Bad Hair Day.
Way to Die #300
On August 14, 1956, in Los Angeles, CA. A woman on a double date refuses to let her boyfriend make out with her, fearing her bouffant will be ruined. Finally, the boyfriend gets frustrated with her and the two step outside to smoke cigarettes, with the woman's boyfriend lighting hers for her. However, the flame from his lighter sets fire to her hair, saturated with hairspray. The woman dies when the fire spreads to her scalp, burning her brain.
Micro-Whacked.
Way to Die #539
On October 21, 1992, in Pomona, CA. A full-blown drug addict gets high after taking meth, cocaine, prescription drugs, and PCP all at once. He gets so high that everything becomes too slow for him, including his lava lamp. The man decides speed up his lava lamp by putting it in a microwave to speed up the wax. Eventually, the lamp explodes, scalding him with hot wax and lodging broken glass into his face and brain.
Alt names - Micro-Waxed
Pussy Whipped.
Way to Die #88
On May 12, 2000, San Francisco, CA. A man who has a hatred of and an allergy to cats grudgingly agrees to look after his girlfriend's cat while she is away. He drinks heavily to pass the time and dull the frustration of his girlfriend giving more attention to her cat than him, getting ever more embittered and intoxicated. He then tries to kick the cat, but the rug he is standing on slides and he hits his head on a fireplace base. As he loses consciousness, the man rolls over and lands face-first in the cat's water dish and drowns from breathing in the water.
Alt names - Cat-astrophie
Blend-Dead.
Way to Die #457
On September 19, 1998, in Austin, TX. A woman tries to achieve longevity by eating healthy foods grown in her own garden blended together in a smoothie. Unknown to her, her landlord has been spraying rat poison in her garden when she is not home. Due to her ignorance of what the landlord has been doing, she consumes the poisoned produce, which thins her blood and makes her increasingly ill. Foolishly believing she needs more smoothies to regain her health, she continues to consume her poison-laced produce. Later, she sprawls across a medicine ball, causing all her blood to rush to her head until she eventually dies of a brain hemorrhage.
Alt names - Ratted Out
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Shanks for the Memories.
Way to Die #116
On June 19, 2009, in Atlanta, GA. A disgruntled, "has-been" golf star and her husband spend their days getting drunk, fighting, and insulting each other at public golf courses. In the middle of a heated argument, the couple loses focus and crashes their golf cart. The cart rolls down a hill, crushing both of them.
Snake Du Jour.
Way to Die #142
On August 21, 2001, San Jose, CA. The head chef of a black market restaurant that serves dangerous and endangered animals is bitten on the cheek by a king cobra that he was attempting to prepare into one of his dishes. The venom of the snake eventually shuts down his nervous system.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death Watch |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death be not Stupid
| Death be not Stupid |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death by Request II
| Death by Request II |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death by Request III
| Death by Request III |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death by Request IV
| Death by Request IV |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death of Sum Young Guy
"Death of Sum Young Guy", Way to Die #159, is the third death to be featured in "Fatal Distractions", which aired on October 5, 2010.
Plot.
Big Mike was a man who loved eating, especially at buffets. Big Mike then walked into an All You Can Eat Chinese buffet. He then went on binge eating Chinese food, which was loaded with MSG (), a flavor enhancing chemical which is normally harmless but has been researched into its potential to result in people eating to excess.
Devouring any food he could get his hands on, Big Mike stopped only once when he was choking after a fifth plate of spare ribs. The owner of the buffet, however, saved him from choking and he resumed eating. After he was done stuffing his face, Mike did not pay the owner a tip and grabbed a bunch of fortune cookies to eat, and the owner told him to leave.
While leaving, Mike suffered from a sudden heart attack caused by the sheer amount of food and MSG he had gorged on. As he fell, the back of his head struck the ground, cracking his skull open like the shell of an egg. The owner of the restaurant approached and attempted to wake him up, but it was already too late.
Transcript.
Narrator: There's 4 words that get Big Mike outpounding the pavement: All, You, Can, Eat.
Narrator: He spends his days going from one Chinese Buffet to the next.
Narrator: Today was Friday. Which meant it was Madame Cheng's turn to take the big hit.
James Shin: All when a person comes in and won't stop eating it considerably cut it to the prophet margin. (Giggling) It's really frustrating when people coming to restaurant and he just won't leave, they sit there for hours on in, and order to... you know, dish after dish.
Narrator: Mike was addicted to the Chinese food enhancer, MSG. It was the opposite of have an appetite present, it made him want to eat, "more". After his 5th plate of spare ribs, he had the spip.
Big Mike: (Coughs)
Owner: Hi'ya!
Narrator: Quick action on Madame Cheng's part, and Mike got back on his feet.
Narrator: After breaking his own record for stuffing his face, it was time to go.
Owner: No tip?!?
Big Mike: Pfft. Not gonna tip you.
Owner: Don't come back!
Narrator: Don't worry, he won't. The amount of MSG that he build up in his system, was ricking habit on his fat cloat heart.
Narrator: He had shortness of breath. A sharp pin shut up his left arm. His eyes glue wide, and he hit the deck. Like a giant eggroll.
Dr. Reza Jamehdor: Our hearts actually have glutamine receptors, ingesting large amounts of... this MSG which as modern sodium glutamine, can lead to arrythmias. for arrythmias sustained equally to death.
Narrator: A funny thing about Mike's Chinese food related heart attack. An hour later, he wanted to die again!
| Death of Sum Young Guy |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death of Vengeance
| Death of Vengeance |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death on Strike
| Death on Strike |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral"
Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral".
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 64.
Originally aired February 22, 2012.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Spastic Surgery.
Way to Die #711
On February 5, 2004, in Greensboro, NC. A woman who has recently had gastric bypass surgery chews out her husband and forces him to divorce her while the two dine out at a fancy restaurant. While arguing with him, the woman has a coughing fit, which causes her to bleed out excessively and bring forth a pair of forceps (which were left inside her by her plastic surgeon) from her lacerated stomach.
Alt names - Bor D'oh
Rhymes With "Rich".
Way to Die #191
On November 18, 2007, in Grosse Pointe, MI. A gold-digging personal trainer targets a wealthy businessman who has hired her to help him and his wife stay in shape. After the wife screams at her husband for having an erection from the trainer's seductive ways, the trainer celebrates by practicing her clean and jerk with a 150-pound barbell. However, she lifts it too fast and collapses on a step aerobics platform. The impact from the fall snaps her neck, severing her spinal cord.
Alt names - Diet and Exercise
Less Is Mormon.
Way to Die #258
On May 20, 2001, in Amity, OR. A polygamist cult leader is set to wed his fourth wife. His latest wife gets nervous and runs off into the woods. The other cult members go after her, stepping into fatal traps set up around the compound to keep cult members from escaping alive. The groom ends up dead from one of his traps—a spiked board that impales the victim when stepped on like a rake.
Alt names - Whip Trap
Wine And Die.
Way to Die #689
On October 1, 2002, in Napa Valley, CA. A nerdy, virgin college student takes a female foreign-exchange student from Sweden to a vineyard for a wine tasting, only to find it closed for the off-season. Having brought their own wine, they get drunk and climb into a fermentation vat to make out. Both of them soon asphyxiate due to the carbon dioxide emitted by the fermenting grapes.
Alt names - Wine and Dine
Die-Rect TV.
Way to Die #420
On September 29, 2009, in Brooklyn, NY. A squatter decides to tap into his neighbors' cable television line for some free entertainment when he sees that they are watching a marathon of "1000 Ways to Die". He climbs up to their exterior cable box, but tumbles down the building's fire escape, and gets impaled through his mouth and brainstem by the screwdriver he had between his lips.
Alt names - Flashbite
Dead Light Green Light.
Way to Die #944
On April 18, 2005, in Everett, WA. A scalper selling fake tickets to local sporting events gets caught by an angry customer who was just turned away from having counterfeit tickets. The scalper hurries across the street, but is hit and killed by an SUV, even though the pedestrian signal is green (the traffic light was shorted out by a slug that crawled into the electrical box to escape the sun).
Alt names - The Traffic of Terror
Extinguished.
Way to Die #346
On December 12, 2006, in Ashville, NC. A bitter ex-jock, whose college prospects were ruined by failed drug tests, now plays dodgeball at a community center. After one aggressive victory against a group of nerds (all of which are heads of Internet companies that are making more money than the jock ever will), he yells at his teammates and tries to spray them with an old, improperly maintained fire extinguisher. The container explodes and the handle lodges in his chest, destroying his heart.
Alt names - Dodgeball Extinguished
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral" |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever
Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever.
A cheating husband has sex with his mistress, then gets mauled to death / A man in a sex chat room gets the shaft / A cheating bride-to-be sniffs bath salts until she collapses / A former mailman stealing packages steals a box from a judge and takes in a deadly chemical / A man who suffers fatal familial insomnia hallucinations of his victim's face until he dies of a stroke / A terrible musician tries to fix a sink and has a hard time until he drowns / A broke construction worker gets drunk and forgets about some dynamites he put in his back pocket and is blown in half
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 53.
Originally aired August 22, 2011.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Trip to the Maul.
Way to Die #591
On September 10, 2003, in Bozeman, MT. A man takes his mistress into the woods to have sex to escape his wife, when suddenly, he goes blind from vasoconstriction (temporary or permanent blindness from sexual intercourse). The now-blind man runs screaming out of the tent, and runs afoul of a grizzly bear, who mauls him.
Alt names - Love Is Blind
Gory Holed.
Way to Die #826
On October 16, 1995, in Trenton, NJ. A dirty old man gets Internet installed on his computer so he can go on online sex chatrooms. While on one of these chatrooms (posing as a younger man while another dirty old man poses as an eighteen-year-old blond model), the old man impatiently bounces on his computer chair while waiting for the Internet page to upload (the old man had a dial-up modem), the chair snaps out from under him. A broken piece lodges into his rectum and causes fatal bleeding.
Alt names - Uploaded
Died-Zilla.
Way to Die #468
On April 12, 2008, in Middlebury, VT. After snorting bath salts from her gift baskets for days on end, a cheating bride-to-be (who had previously been in rehab for a drug addiction) gets hyperthermia due to the chemical MDPV in the bath salts, and collapses at the altar.
U.P.F'D.
Way to Die #334
On December 1, 2003, in Olympia, WA. A former mailman who was forced into early retirement now steals packages in front of peoples' houses. After stealing a box from the doorstep of a prominent judge, he opens it and gets hit in the face with anthrax that was set up on a jack-in-the-box-style mechanism. The bacteria kills the man a week later.
Alt names - Special Deliverance
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.
Way to Die #992
On August 22, 2002 in Cleveland, OH. A man suffering from fatal familial insomnia takes a night drive and accidentally hits and kills a pedestrian. After he gets home, he cleans his car and drives to a sleep clinic. Unable to be cured and frightened from hallucinating his victim's face, he lies awake for months and eventually dies of a massive stroke.
Alt names - Laid to Rest
Kitchen Sunk.
Way to Die #325 (Note: This is the second death to have this number)
On May 14, 2003, in Echo Park, CA. An untalented musician refuses to fix a clogged sink after being asked by his girlfriend. After his girlfriend comes back, he finally helps her. With no idea what to do, he turns on the garbage disposal. His long beard gets sucked into the disposal, pulling his face into the murky dish water, and drowning him.
Alt names - Sinking Feeling
Blast Call.
Way to Die #460
On March 11, 2009, in Chicago, IL. A demolition worker short on cash for booze draws a bull's-eye on his chest and challenges anyone to chuck darts at it in exchange for free drinks. As the game continues, the man gets so drunk that he collapses and suddenly blows apart when he hits the floor. The demolition worker unknowingly had a pack of blasting caps and a stick of dynamite in his back pocket, the force of which caused the explosion.
Alt names - Halfs All Folks
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deathcards
| Deathcards |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deep Fried
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"Deep Fried", Way to Die #610, is the first death to be featured in "Death Gets Busy", which aired on February 22, 2009.
Plot.
It's not hard to figure out how Angry Ed got his nickname. Here's his story:
He occasionally got angry at the traffic on the highway, which is normal for him to get mad at traffic. His lunch included a can of cola, but Ed accidentally spills it on his sandwich, so he smashed the sandwich with his soda and threw them onto the floor in a fit of rage.
There honestly almost wasn't anything that didn't make Ed see red. One day at work, he was busy working on a sheet of metal, but he accidentally smashed his thumb with a hammer and he got angry at himself for this mistake. At his work, his employees thought Ed's anger was a running joke. But his foreman noticed his outburst, and decided that the joke had run thin.
"YOU'RE FIRED!!!" -Ed's foreman after so long with not being able to put up with Angry Ed.
Believing that Ed's outbursts at work could cause potential harm, or even death to the other workers, the foreman fires Ed. Of course, Ed got angry at this. In fact, getting fired turned Ed into a heat-seeking anger missile. Before he left, Ed decided to give the foreman a piece of his mind. He notices the foreman working on a vat of hydrochloric acid, and wanting to get revenge.
"Ed goes hand to hand and wounds up taking a bath... in a tub of hydrochloric acid."
The foreman, in self defense, accidentally shoves Ed into the vat. The acid immediately burns his skin, fries his eyeballs, and pours into his wide open mouth. Once the acid was inside his body, it destroys his major organs, including the heart, lungs and intestines within seconds, killing Angry Ed and putting an end to his uncontrollable outbursts, once and for all.
Transcript.
Narrator: Ed goes hand to hand and wounds up taking a bath... in a tub of hydrochloric acid.
Narrator: This wasn't just Ed's last day of work. His uncontrollable blood-boiling rage made sure this was Angry Ed's last day... period.
| Deep Fried |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Deep Sleep (Walk)
"Deep Sleep (Walk)", Way to Die #393, is the sixth death to be featured in "Sor-Dead Affair", which aired on February 29, 2012.
Plot.
Jessica was one of the 25 million people in the U.S who sleepwalk. She suffers from sleep-eating, constantly eating raw vegetables and salads in her sleep. Jessica eats a salad a night before. Then on the next night in her nightly walk, Jessica begins craving chocolate in her sleep. Due to her only stocking raw vegetables and salads, she sleepwalks out of her boat to find some chocolate. However, Jessica accidentally sleepwalks to the edge of the dock and plunges into the water. Although Jessica lived on a boat, she didn't know how to swim. Even if she did know how, she couldn't, because she's sleepwalking. Jessica drowns underwater before she was able to wake up.
| Deep Sleep (Walk) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Descent Of A Woman
| Descent Of A Woman |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Descent of a Woman
"Descent of a Woman", Way to Die #592, is the second death to be featured in "That's "Mister Death" To You", which aired on July 11, 2011.
Plot.
Sarah was a germaphobe with OCD. In an attempt to wipe all the germs away, she cleans the house. Sarah falls off a ladder and crashes on the mirror, but survived. She embeds a shard in her armpit, which punctured her axillary artery but also blocked the puncture from drawing blood. As Sarah was going outside, the pain of the glass in her armpit was getting worse, but when she pulled the shard out (which is very stupid), she bled to death anyway after pulling it out and unplugging the puncture to her axillary artery, causing massive trauma, killing Sarah within a few seconds.
Transcript.
Narrator: It's so hard to connect the clean of doubt. Once Sarah died from the glass shard to ironic death to bled to her tinter...?
Narrator: Isn't it ironic when a woman who was so determined to wipe the world clean of dirt and germs wound up leaving a really... big... mess?
| Descent of a Woman |
fandom.1000waystodie | # DestRoid
"DestRoid", Way to Die #417, is the second death to be featured in "", which aired on March 29, 2009.
Plot.
Mike Arms was an amateur bodybuilder who worked out constantly with the goal of becoming a bodybuilder. Each time, he would stick a needle full of steroids in his leg which gave him incredible strength and size. But inside his body, his heart was beating irregular beats. He had something called cardiomyopathy, or an abnormal heart beat. One day, while working out, the cardiomyopathy took its toll. Mike had an arrhythmia, and died of Cardiac Arrest. Sending him to Heaven, where he can continue pumping up without worrying about his heart.
"Early baldness, shrunken testicles, and a cholesterol count through the roof were a small price to pay for a bigger, badder Mike. But while his body was getting pumped on the outside, it was breaking down on the inside."
| DestRoid |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Destroid
| Destroid |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dia De Los Morons
| Dia De Los Morons |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dia de Los Morons
"Dia de Los Morons", Way to Die #318, is the seventh and final death featured in "Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're Dead", which aired on August 15, 2011.
Plot.
Zach (Mike Hatch) and Angela (Kim Bray) were two annoying and easy-to-hate trick-or-treaters going door-to-door at 2 in the morning. They knocked on the old man's home, but the old man wants to know if they know what time is it. They go around the neighborhood, committing pranks such as teepeeing a house, smashing jack-o-lanterns and spraying each other with aerosol silly-string. For their final prank, they plan to ignite a bag of dog feces to sit on the front steps of a home. However as Zach sparks up his lighter, the solvent based silly-string ignites, causing his skeleton costume and himself to be engulfed in flames within seconds. To make things worse, Zach's skeleton costume is made of polyester; also highly flammable and prone to deepening burns. The fire burns through Zach's skin and deep into his bones, killing him and sending the prank-loving manchild to purgatory to be judged. Angela panicked when Zach caught alight; she started banging on the door, screaming for help, unaware that it is already too late to help Zach.
Transcript.
Angela: (Screams like a boar)
Narrator: Zach and Angela got their yucks at other's expense. Didn't they know... tricks are for anyone under the age of 16? In other words... kids.
| Dia de Los Morons |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Diary of the Dead
| Diary of the Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-Agra
"Die-Agra", Way to Die #186, is the seventh and last death featured in "Death Bites!", which has been originally aired December 9, 2009.
Plot.
Cole was at his house having a meal with his wife Janine, who was trying to seduce him for both of them to make love. It is revealed that he has a condition called erectile dysfunction (ED), and from this, he became less sexually active in front of his own spouse, contributing to their marriage slowly falling apart. In order to remedy this, Cole has to take sildenafil, or Viagra medication (with each pill having a mass of 100 milligrams, as evidenced by the narrator), but in this segment, he didn't handle its recommended dosage properly (at least, 1 pill per day, evidently speaking). He was secretly given 3 pills of Viagra (which is 300 milligrams, in total) via putting them into a glass of beer by Janine (in which she crushed them first with a mortar and pestle tool set before blending them into that drink), who thought that it could help save their failing marriage, but it didn't worked as she had hoped for. Then after, he gets a text message, which turns out be from his mistress, revealing that he's also cheating on his wife behind her back, even with his current condition. To prepare his love-making action with said mistress at that moment, Cole took 3 of his own Viagra pills (another 300 milligrams) while in a bathroom. As said mistress was preparing herself for that same action, she, too, secretly gave Cole 3 more Viagra pills (one more amount of 300 milligrams), via mixing them into a glass of beer, as well, prior to his arrival to her. In total, Cole took 9 times of that medication (more specifically, 900 milligrams), more than its recommended dosage. During sex with his mistress, too much blood races through Cole's system, maily from his Viagra overdose, resulting in a fatal heart attack, to which he falls on her, as she herself reacts to that with discomfort.
Transcript.
Narrator: Janine's marriage was as dead as her husband's penis.
Janine: I'm not wearing any panties tonight.
Cole: Huh.
Narrator: Cole's erectile disfunction had turned him... cold. But Janine had a plan:
Narrator: Without telling him, she ground up 3 ED pills into his beer. That's... 300 milligrams of blood rushing penis poppers. This Janine thought, would finally get a rise out of her hubby.
Dr. Shetal Desai: The use of erectile dysfunction drive is increasing nitroxide. Nitroxide is actually compound, that's responsible for a dilating all vessels of our body. Including the vessels that lead to our heart.
Janine: Honey. I want you to do me on the table right now.
Cole: (Chuckles) Like what?
Cole: Uh... Hold on.
Narrator: Right then, Cole received a text message from his mistress.
Narrator: Before taking off, Cole slipped into the bathroom to take... 3 of his own magic love pills. Little did he know, his girlfriend was making triple sure... her lover boy would be up for the job. She dropped 3 of her own man makers into a beer.
Jessica Leroy, MA, MFT: If you're a man and... you're unable to achieve the quality erection, that is going to do something yourself a steam. And you're gonna be worried next time in your situation, it's just not gonna happening at.
Cole's mistress: Hey, baby.
Cole: How are you?
Cole's mistress: Drink this before we get started to hope your luck.
Narrator: Okay, before we continue, let's do the math:
Narrator: His wife slipped in 300 milligrams. Cole himself, took 300 more. And his secret lover doused him with another 300. That's 9 times the recommended dosage.
Narrator: This guy was about to pin the lovemeter.
Cole's mistress: Wow.
Cole's mistress: WHOOOOOOO!!! (Laughs)
-Cole's mistress: (Moans)<br>
-Cole: (Moans)<br>
-Narrator: With his veins and arteries fully dilated, blood rush from Cole's head to...
-Cole's mistress: (Screams of tension)<br>
-Narrator: his other head.
Narrator: His mistress didn't mind,
Cole's mistress: Whooo!!
Narrator: and Cole didn't notice his vision was fading. His oxygen depleted brain was shutting down. His heart was red-lining. But none of that matter. He was about to blown. With one final thrust...
Cole: (SCREAMS OF HUGE PAIN)
Narrator: In one glorious burst of passion, Cole had come...and gone.
| Die-Agra |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-Arrhea
| Die-Arrhea |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-Brator
| Die-Brator |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-Drant
| Die-Drant |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-Namite
| Die-Namite |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-Rect TV
| Die-Rect TV |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-abestic
Die-abestic.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 62.
Originally aired February 1, 2012.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Spit-Ill.
Way to Die #215
On July 4, 2007, in Marietta, GA. A southern belle working a kissing booth for charity at a carnival is stealing the money from the jar. When her high school crush walks up to the booth, she is more than willing to make out with him. However, he had been chewing sunflower seeds, and the belle had an allergic reaction to the sunflower seed oil and died of anaphylactic shock.
Alt names - Sloppy Seconds
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Tow F.U..
Way to Die #462
On August 28, 2006, in Union, NJ. A tow truck driver was also a scam artist. He would put fake 'No Parking' signs up and then overcharge customers when he illegally towed their car or does any other services. When a woman with a broken down car agrees to pay his high prices to get her car towed, the lazy tow truck driver accidentally hooked onto the cars steering rod instead of the tow link. While the car is being towed, the tensed steering rod breaks and the towing hook flies into the driver's head, crushing his skull.
Alt names - Tow Schmuck
Tipping Point.
Way to Die #296
On May 8, 2001, in San Francisco, CA. Two rival waitresses working at a failing sports restaurant fight over who gets to serve a table filled with male softball players. When the fight gets physical, one waitress climbs atop the bar to body slam the other waitress, but she misses and lands on a spiked receipt holder that was knocked on the floor during the fight. She panics when she sees the receipt holder stuck in her silicone-filled breast and pulls it out. The blood from her pierced breast and heart leak out and she dies of exsanguination.
Alt names - Gratuity Violence
Dead Fixe.
Way to Die #554
On March 22, 2009, in Boston, MA. A food critic – notorious for his caustic reviews on restaurants – gets drunk on martinis during his latest assignment (a plan hatched by the chef and the bartender who know about the critic and decided to get him drunk so he'd write a good review). In his drunken state, the critic accidentally bites and swallows a plastic sword-shaped toothpick in his martini. The bitten piece wedges in his stomach wall and the critic dies days later of perionitis.
Alt names - Critical Condition
Dead Necked.
Way to Die #280
On November 24, 2006, in New Suffolk, NY. A spoiled teenager throws a redneck themed party as a joke on his country cousin (despite that his country cousin is a law school valedictorian). When the cousin arrives, the spoiled teen decides to "prepare the main course" and deep-fry a frozen turkey. When the frozen turkey is dropped in the pot of hot oil, the reaction creates steam under the turkey, which expands rapidly and propels it out of the pot, and into the face of the teenager, jamming the cartilage of his nose into his brain and killing him instantly.
Alt names - Scold Maid
Strang-Girled.
Way to Die #366
On September 26, 2005, in Bellevue, WA. A cheating wife selfishly steals the neck massager from her husband who was using it after a long day at work. She rejects his concerns for her and goes into the bathroom to relax with a massage and a bath. However, her chain necklace gets tangled in the massager and strangles her.
Alt names - Necks Victim
Pop and Lox.
Way to Die #94
On February 12, 1984, in Bronx, NY. An arrogant, Jewish-American princess who's into break-dancing holds a rap battle in her backyard against a rival team over who boasts the biggest sound in the neighborhood. During the battle, the break-dancer drops dead from Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome caused by her high-energy dancing and the soundwaves disrupting the rhythm of her heart.
Alt names - Ache Dancer
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Die-abestic |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-arrhea
"Die-arrhea", Way to Die #276, is the sixth death featured in "Cure for the Common Death, Part II", which aired on December 15, 2010.
Plot.
An obnoxious, renowned jockey named Pedro who was evicted from his hotel becomes desperate to win a horse race so he can retire for good, so he becomes anorexic and starts abusing illegal Chinese laxatives to lose enough weight to race. Pedro surprisingly wins, but dies from massive dehydration, potassium deficiency, and renal failure from the laxatives he took and no fluids to replenish his electrolytes.
Segment Description.
Description as seen on the Spike TV (now Paramount Network) website
| Die-arrhea |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-brator
"Die-brator", Way to Die #342, is the seventh death featured in "Fatal Distractions", which aired on October 5, 2010.
Plot.
Freda is the misandristic, sadistic, hateful, psychotic, delusional, Machiavellian, ruthless and sociopathic leader of a fringe feminist party and hate group known as the Centuries of Womyn (C.O.W.), who are notorious for their sexually violent crimes against men.
She returns to her hotel room from a seminar to find a "vibrator" from her lesbian lover, unaware that it's really a 1000-kilovolt taser that resembles a vibrator.
After inserting it into herself and activating it, the taser electrocutes Freda, causing her to go into cardiac arrest and die.
Transcript.
Freda: Well, women...
Narrator: Take cover, men.
Freda: ... fight back!!
Narrator: The very things we hold precious... are under attack!
Freda: Men are a disease.
Narrator: This is Freda. She's the founder of an ultra radical group of feminists called: Centuries of Womyn. Or...
Narrator: COW.
Freda: All war, all violence, all aggression, on planet earth, is caused by men.
Narrator: The C.O.W.s are cult of man haters with Freda as their messianic leader. Think David Koresh in a push-up bra.
Freda: Testicles are weapon of mass destruction (WMD). It's time to fight back!!
Orsolya Dunai: Men are considered enemies due to their innate nature of wanting and even needing to control other groups and have power, especially in the world of capitalism, where men seize the power of corporations and social structures for their own gender.
Narrator: The cows are totally underground and have been linked for several incidents involving humiliating acts of sexual violence, on unsuspecting men...
Narrator: in broad daylight.
Freda: TWIST & PULL!!!!
C.O.W.s: TWIST & PULL!!
Freda: TWIST & PULL!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Rally over, the fiery Freda would head back to her hotel room and unwind the best way she knew how.
Narrator: Sometimes, a woman's best friend is battery-powered.
Narrator: A new vibrator sent by her lover back home need a workout.
Narrator: But it didn't work out as expected.
Freda: (Moans of pain)
Narrator: It wasn't a vibrator her lover sent to her, it was a 1000-kilovolt electric shock device. What the C.O.W.s referred to as... a "manswer".
Narrator: Freda's new anti-man device sent a shock through her system that SHUT her up, forever...
Dr. Pavel Bindra: Even though the tasing was happening from an area distant from the heart, it induced ventricular fibrillation whereby the heart is unable to pump blood out properly... enough to induce cardiac arrest and she died, affectively she's stimulated herself to death.
Freda: It's time to fight back!!
Narrator: Freda formed the COWs because she wanted to wage war on men.
-Freda: TWIST & PULL!!!!<br>
-C.O.W.s: TWIST & PULL!!
Narrator: Men, you can breathe easier now that...
Freda: (Moans of pain)
Narrator: Freda... can't.
| Die-brator |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-drant
"Die-drant", Way to Die #506, is the fifth death to be featured in "The End is Weird", which aired on October 19, 2010.
Plot.
He was born with all his fingers and toes, he wasn't dropped on his head as a baby, but for reasons even his parents can't fathom, Benny grew up to be the biggest asshole on the block. Benny was a 26-year-old man with the mentality of a 14-year-old who loved to play incredibly dangerous and immature pranks on his neighbors, whether it was putting sugar in the gas tank of someone's car or spreading a neighbor's front porch with oil.
However, one day, Benny wanted to cause a wreck by flashing a mirror at people who dare to drive down his street. He blasted one car with the mirror and the car hit the fire hydrant. Benny got his wish, but unfortunately for him, Lady Karma had also decided that today was the day he finally got what was coming to him; the hydrant flew towards Benny and struck him in the head with a devastating amount of force, completely shattering his skull, killing him within seconds and sending the psychopathic man child down to hell where he belongs.
"The mirror was stupid fun for this crapulous creep. But what Benny really wanted was to cause a wreck. He angled the mirror just right. The blinding light hit the perfect spot, and Benny finally got his wish, or... he finally got what was coming to him."
Transcript.
Narrator: He was born with all his fingers and toes, he wasn't dropped on his head as a baby, but for reasons even his parents can't fathom, Benny grew up to be a total A-hole.
Narrator: 26 going on 14, a good day for Benny was destroying somebody's car.
Narrator: Or cracking open someone's skull.
Benny: (Chuckles)
Narrator: The meaner his pranks were... the more fun Benny had.
Narrator: Even a simple mirror, became a weapon for this neighborhood punk terrorist.
Benny: C'mon, you stupid son of a bitch, come on!
Benny: Yeah! (Laughs) Drive safely!
Narrator: Benny blasted anyone who dare drive down his street.
Dr. Vahe Ghazikhanian: By varying angle of the mirror preduspect the incoming ray, you're controlling the angle of reflected way, and therefore your- you can aim it at er... eyes of the driver. Over 97% of the light is reflected.
Benny: ...like fishing the bell.
Narrator: The mirror was stupid fun for this crapulous creep.
Benny: Gotta present for ya.
Narrator: But what Benny really wanted was to cause a wreck. He angled the mirror just right.
-Benny: (Laughs)<br>
-Narrator: The blinding light hit the perfect spot, and Benny finally got his wish.
Narrator: Or...
Benny: Woah!
Narrator: He finally got what was coming to him.
Dr. Reza Jamehdor: In this situation, there was such significant blood injury, a lot of it was transmitted to the back part of the skull. This created a fracture which a lot from brain tissue to rupturing to death incurving within seconds.
Benny: Come on, you stupid son of a b****, come on! Yeah! (Laughs)
Narrator: Sometimes when people are as a big a jerk as Benny,
Benny: Got a present for ya.
Narrator: you don't have to wish them harm.
Narrator: They'll just care of it themselves.
Benny: Woah!
| Die-drant |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die-rect TV
"Die-rect TV", Way to Die #420, is the fifth death to be featured in "Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral", which aired on February 22, 2012.
Plot.
Phillip, a New York squatter living in a condemned building, has been having trouble watching TV since broadcasting went digital in June of 2009. The thing of it is, he steals electricity to power his pad. His next-door neighbors are yuppies, who have cable. On this day, they are watching a "1000 Ways" marathon, and the current episode in the marathon is "The End Is Weird". Phillip decides to tap their box by rigging their line undetected. However, after successfully rigging, Phillip slips and rolls down the building's fire escape, causing his screwdriver, which he held to open the cable box, to impale him through the mouth and sever his brain stem.
| Die-rect TV |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die Hard
| Die Hard |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die It
"Die It", Way to Die #734, is the fourth death featured in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.
Plot.
Darlene had a very overweight problem. She tried many diet solutions, including eating cabbage, grapefruit, even chocolate (no idea how that is supposed to work), but nothing worked. She tried one more solution after ordering tapeworm larvae online. She swallows the worms, and they make their way into Darlene's intestines. They ate everything that "she" ate. 3 weeks have passed since then, and Darlene had dropped 4 dress sizes. However, the worms weren't finished--they eventually reproduced all over her body. 2 months later, Darlene started to feel a little ill, and she lost sixty pounds. Because of her so-called "diet", she died on her couch after talking to her friend on the phone. Darlene finally dropped to a size-8 dress, which she wore...in her grave, sending her to heaven where she can stay thin for the rest of her life.
Transcript.
Narrator: Darlene finally fit in a size 4 dress. Too bad she wore it...at her funeral.
| Die It |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die Jump
"Die Jump", Way to Die #228, is the third death to be featured in "Locked and Low Dead", which aired on February 29, 2012.
Plot.
Larry is hired by a production company to find an attractive high jumper to star in an Olympic-themed commercial. Infatuated with a star named Jessi, he insists on choosing her but the businessman refuses to do so unless Jessi can demonstrate the ability to high jump. Jessi attempts to do so, but misses the mat causing a hairline fracture on the back of her spinal cord. Disoriented after getting back up, she accidentally stumbles onto the track where a long jumper, who is running high speed, stampedes her and causes Jessie's spinal cord to dislocate and shatter due to the hairline fracture received from missing the mat, shutting down her nervous system, as well as her heart and lung functions.
| Die Jump |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Die Laughing
"Die laughing", Way to Die #195, is the eighth and final death featured in "Putting a Happy Face on Death", which aired on December 30, 2009.
Plot.
Jimmy, a hazardous material removal worker hates his job, but enjoys getting high off nitrous oxide (laughing gas). Jimmy experiments with a gas mask, hooking it up to a tank of nitrous oxide and pumping it full of the stuff. Wanting to take his high to the next level, he dons his Hazmat suit and connects it to the nitrous oxide tank which fills up automatically. After a few minutes of breathing in nothing but laughing gas, he suffocates and dies.
| Die Laughing |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Died-Zilla
"Died-Zilla" Way to Die #468, is the third death featured in "Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever." which aired on August 22, 2011.
Plot.
Katie was a drug abuser who got out of rehab. She snorts bath salts her bridesmaids gave her at her bridal shower. Once "high", she messes with the groom or his best man, trashes her dressing room and becomes a Bridezilla. Once the wedding day arrives, she is so high, her fiance, Travis, is concerned and confused and so are the wedding guests. When the ”I do’s” came, Katie collapses at the alter, dying of overheating of the core body temperature (hyperthermia) from the bath salts she snorted, causing her to go into cardiac arrest, causing death. Sending the bride from hell back to Hell. In the aftermath, Travis fist-bumps one of his groomsmen, relieved that he avoided the trainwreck of a marriage.
"As the preacher drones on, Katie's pulse is redlining and her body temperature is climbing. Finally, right when it was time to do the 'I do'...her balt-salted heart said 'I don't'...and Katie said 'I'm done'."
Transcript.
Narrator: As the preacher drones on, Katie's pulse is redlining and her body temperature is climbing. Finally, right when it was time to do the 'I do'...her balt-salted heart said 'I don't'...and Katie said 'I'm done'.
Narrator: Katie was the bride from hell. She snorted like Scarface. She screwed like Linda Lovelace. And then she died like any other out of control substance abuser. I now pronounce you...dead.
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on Spike TV's website
"A pushy bride ingests some Ivory Wave to take the edge off when she goes into super Bridezilla mode and collapses from hypothermia."
| Died-Zilla |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Died Zilla
| Died Zilla |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dill D'oh!
"Dill D'oh!", Way to Die #149, is the third death to be featured in "Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death", which aired on February 23, 2011.
Plot.
Mr. Roger Franklin was a retired chemistry teacher who was sent to a nursing home by his greedy children who had him declared incapable of caring for himself just so they could get his money. He does demonstrations for the other residents (despite being reprimanded by Peter who was a mean-spirited nursing home aide), including one in which he uses a pickle to conduct electric current (which amused the residents). Peter arrives and tells Roger not to use electric devices. When Peter grabs the equipment to confiscate it, he completes a circuit that sends an electric shock through his heart. Not listening to Roger, Peter gets electrocuted and dies of cardiac arrest. After his death, Roger gloats him.
| Dill D'oh! |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Ding-D'oh
| Ding-D'oh |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dip 'N Die
"Dip 'N Die", Way to Die #206, is the fourth death featured in "Getting A Rise From The Dead", which aired on February 16, 2011.
Plot.
A man named George Pucker is a member of a vigilante illegal-alien hunting group called "The Minutemen". George also had an addiction to chewing tobacco, chewing the equivalent of 4 packs of cigarettes a day. George goes down a dirt road and hits a big rock, causing him to bite his tongue while chewing tobacco. George also suffered from a rare genetic condition called erectile glossitis, which caused his tongue to swell up due to the tobacco juices entering the wound. George ultimately chokes to death on his swelling tongue.
Transcript.
Narrator: If you're one of those pinheads who believe everyone should be carrying guns...
-Narrator: chewing tobacco and hunting down illegal aliens. You're going to love this asswipe.<br>
-George: Alright! (Spits) Woo!
George: Yes, sir! 12 gauge! That's my deal right there.
Narrator: Say hello to George Pucker.
George: You 4's ready?
Minutemen: YEE-HAAAH!!!<br>
Narrator: George, is a member of that illegal alien-hating vigilante group of the minutemen.
Minuteman: ...we gotta get some aliens.
George: Let's go, follow me!
Narrator: George was addicted to his chew. He consumed the tobacco equivalent of 4 packs of cigarettes a day.
Narrator: A good day for George was to drive around with his cheeks bursting with chew, looking for undocumented along the Arizona-Mexico border. 40 miles of bad road can take a lot out of anyone, and on this day old George hit a big rock...
George: OW!
Narrator: and bit down hard on his thick tongue.
Minuteman: What's going on? It's been in a while. You alright?
George: Oh... going through, I'll be-I'll be alright...
Minuteman 2: You alright?
Narrator: But George... "wasn't" alright. He didn't know he had it and he sure couldn't pronounce it.
-Narrator: But George had a genetic condition called erectile glossitis.<br>
-Minuteman: WOO!!
Dr. Robert Winters: Erectile glossitis is a very rare condition which can cause severe swelling of the tongue, in the matter of minutes, it can set off a very wild and uncontrolled inflammatory response...
Narrator: It was like the opposite of anaphylactic shock. Instead of his throat swelling around his tongue, his tongue filled up his throat and within minutes, he experienced a horrible choking-to-death fate.
George: Get some aliens!
Narrator: George was a gun-toting, chewing, spitting ignoramus who thought his paranoid bitter hatred of illegals was protecting his country. In the end,
Narrator: he did do his country a big favor...
Narrator: by dying.
| Dip 'N Die |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dip N' Die
| Dip N' Die |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Dirt Nap
Dirt Nap.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 58.
Originally aired November 7, 2011.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Harmored Car.
Way to Die #350
On April 22, 2006, in Hutchinson, KS. Two amateurs attempt to rob an armored car and successfully tie up the guards, but a passer-by calls 911. The police arrive and exchange gunfire with the robbers, one of whom hides in the car. Just as he peeks out of an open door, his partner is hit and falls backward, driving the door shut and breaking the first robber's neck.
Alt names - Heavily Armed
Way to Die #915
On November 13, 2005, in Los Angeles, CA. An angry woman goes to a spa run by two Thai women. After enduring her constant complaints, the masseuse and spa owner decide to give her a free bikini wax. One of the waxing strips catches fire and ignites her pubic hair when it is brought too close. The spa workers put out the fire, but the smoke sets off the sprinkler system and drenches everybody in the room. The woman dies from anaphylactic shock caused by aquagenic urticaria (a rare, allergic reaction to water) before she can run out.
Alt names - Water-Waxed
You've Got Dead Male.
Way to Die #294
On October 18, 2009, in Daytona Beach, FL. A vandal rides around a neighborhood and smashes mailboxes with a wooden baseball bat while his girlfriend drives. One previous victim, a retired metalworker, has reinforced his box with a steel post; unable to destroy it, the vandal pounds on it until his bat breaks, sending a splinter into his heart.
Alt names - Face Plant
Shop 'Till You Drown.
Way to Die #634
On February 9, 2004, in Corpus Christi, TX. A woman selling fake designer clothes to a client for high prices is thrown out by her client's husband (who hates his wife's personal shopper friend because his wife keeps spending money on her, and the husband lost most of his money to the current economic downturn). As she leaves, she falls into the couple's swimming pool, gets tangled in its cover, and drowns.
Alt names - Drown And Out
De-Faced.
Way to Die #290
On January 22, 2003, in St. Cloud, MN. A man warms up his recently purchased snowblower by letting it run in his garage while he drinks several beers. The combination of alcohol and carbon monoxide exhaust fumes causes him to become dizzy and fall onto the blades, shredding his face.
Alt names - Snow No
Ex'd Ex.
Way to Die #630
On March 27, 2001, in Sleepy Hollow, NY. A couple on a hayride are stalked by the female's former boyfriend. When he surprises them by popping out dressed as an axe murderer, the current boyfriend knocks him off the cart. He falls to the ground, and the wheels crush his lungs and intestines, causing his death from being run over, bisecting him in the process.
Alt names - Haunted Prey Ride
Colon-Gross-Opy.
Way to Die #730
On August 18, 1995, in Denville, NJ. A girl with a very high competitive streak holds various contests with her two male roommates. To prepare for a farting contest, she decides to cheat by squirting a can of whipped cream up her rectum to produce gas. However, the nitrous oxide gas from the can causes quick freezing and immediate necrosis of her intestinal tissue, resulting in swelling. Before she bleeds to death, she farts out her blood and dies of hemorrhage.
Alt names - Colon Gross
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die. (Doesn't Work Because It Direct To ParamountNetwork.com)
| Dirt Nap |
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