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fandom.1000waystodie | # Gang Banged
"Gang Banged", Way to Die #412, is the third death to be featured in "", which aired on August 1, 2011.
Plot.
After a long day of whacking, Silvio and Big Tony liked to unwind with a little steam. Little do they know, Niccolo, the son of a black market booze dealer, is on a quest for revenge after Silvio shot his father in the head. With his gun in hand and hidden under a towel, Niccolo enters and waits for the right moment. Tony and Silvio seem to recognize him. When Silvio asks who he is, Niccolo reveals himself and prepares to fire, but slips on the seat causing him to slip and misfire the gun into a steam pipe. As Silvio and Big Tony run out in time, Niccolo falls in front of the leaking steam pipe, which sends steam heated to 350 °F (177 °C) onto him. The steam melts half of his face, and he dies within minutes if not seconds.
Transcript.
Narrator: In the 1920s, pro-ambition unleashed a wave of violence across the US. Crime syndicates were born, and for a vicious war for control of the boomstraid.
Narrator: After a busy day of whacking, Silvio & Big Tony like to relax with nice steam.
Big Tony: Fixed at the track, you're gonna make a bungle.
Narrator: But he never knew who you going to meet at the bathhouse. This, is Niccolo. His family made a nice piece of chain selling black market booze.
Narrator: Until Silvio put a bullet, in his father's head.
Bob Davidson: The 1930s was a time of great unrest of a pivil and er... the mob for variety reasons including the ending of prohibition.
Bob Davidson: The most frequent method of killing was by gunshot. If it was a revenge, killing, it'll tend to be little more gruesome. For example: If they thought someone was a snitch, the tongue might be cut. The... victim may will be castrated and its general stuff in his mouth.
Silvio: Do I know you, kid?
Niccolo: No.
Narrator: Niccolo had been following Silvio & Big Tony for a week. He thought the steam room would be a best chance.
Silvio: What's your name?
Niccolo: My name is Niccolo. I believe you know my father!
Niccolo: (Screams)
Narrator: The wet floor caused Niccolo to slip and misfire. The bullet wound up puncturing the steam pipe. Temporally stun from his fall, he got a scolding blast of 350-degree pressurize steam.
Narrator: Niccolo's face blistered like an overcooked eggplant. His brain tissue fused, shorts circulating his heart. And...
Narrator: stopped.
Dr. Vyshali Rao: In this case, a gentleman was exposed to an instantaneous blast of 400 degrees steam. Which would melt and liquify and accratize any tissue, in its way. Including pinuses all the way up to the brain itself.
Dr. Vyshali Rao: Death would... results in minute if not seconds.
Narrator: Niccolo tried to avenge his father's death.
Silvio: Do I know you, kid?
-Narrator: But, instead he followed him to the grave.<br>
-Niccolo: My name is Niccolo.
Niccolo: (Screams)
Narrator: Yo, Niccolo, it's-a turn-a the other cheek,
Narrator: not-a burn-a the other cheek!
Alternative Name.
Also known as "Hit Me Baby" on the Spike TV website
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on the Spike TV website
"A mafia hit man plans to assassinate the underboss of a rival family in a steam room, but his shot misses and blasts open a steam pipe which scalds him to death."
| Gang Banged |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gangrene Gangster
| Gangrene Gangster |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gas-Hole
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"Gas-Hole", Way to Die #502, is the first death featured in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.
Plot.
On May 19, 2002, in West Glacier, Montana. A bank robber named Cisco, who robbed a bank in Missoula, hides out in the wilderness. He now has enough money to make a new meth lab. He celebrates by drinking. Unfortunately, he accidentally smashes his last bottle of bourbon on a rock, much to his anger as he throws his broken bottle onto the ground. Wanting to get drunk but having no booze left (and not willing to get caught by authorities by setting foot in a bar or liquor store), he siphons the gasoline from his motorcycle, thinking he can drink it because it contains ethanol, the form of alcohol found in almost all forms of booze. However, he is unable to keep it down, and when he vomits it back up into his campfire, he is engulfed in flames, causing him to be burnt to a crisp. Sending the bank robber and failed meth lab creator straight to Hell, where he will continue making his best imitation of a toasted marshmallow. Cisco should have known that gasoline doesn't "just" contain ethanol.
Transcript.
Narrator: Robbing a bank, bad idea. Drinking gasoline, even worse. Puking his deadly firewater into an open fire, the worst idea he ever had. One wonders if any of this ran through Cisco's dim brain while he was doing his best imitation of a marshmallow. Who cares? One less meth-dealing biker to worry about.
| Gas-Hole |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gas Holed
"Gas Holed", Way to Die #278: is the third death featured in "Putting A Smiley Face On Death", which aired on September 14, 2010.
Plot.
A proctologist named Dr. Butera with a fetish for women's rears begins to operate on a pole dancer named Maki, who damaged her rectum during a porno movie shoot. Prior to the operation, Dr. Butera forgets to advise her not to eat anything 12 hours before the operation. On the day of the operation, Butera's cauterizer ignites Maki's flatulence (due to a chilli dog she ate), creating a fireball which travels through his windpipe and incinerates his lungs, killing him.
| Gas Holed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gasketballed
"Gasketballed", Way to Die #226, is the third death to be featured in "Unforced Errors", which aired on February 8, 2009.
Plot.
Meet Jack and Sally. They love having sex, just like any other college student, horny. Then all of a sudden, Jack sees something - a giant basketball. It was left there from yesterday's pep-rally, but both of them want to go in there because they can have not only sex privately, but also have fun.
It was Sally who was the first to see the inside. It looked very cool. They decided to go in through the zipper. Soon, they were having fun. Jack's voice was so funny and both of them found out this was a great place indeed.
Unfortunately, after several minutes, they needed fresh air - the helium of the ball was getting the better of them. But disaster struck - the magic zipper was no-where to be found. Soon, they both suffocate of lack of oxygen.
"Once they locked themselves in their funhouse, it was only a matter time before their fun turned to none."
Transcript.
Narrator: Jack & Sally are like any other college Southmores,
Jack & Sally: (Giggle)
Narrator: horny.
Sally: (Giggles)
Narrator: By the looks of it, Jack's barking up the right tree. But then, up vision appears.
Jack: Check this out.
Narrator: Across the campish green, something draws them like malls to a flame: a giant basketball.
-Sally: Oh my god.<br>
-Narrator: A leftover from yesterday's pep-rally.
Sally: You have to get inside of it.
Narrator: The perfect place for a once in a lifetime quicky.
Sally: Planting the hole, planting the hole.
Narrator: Sally finds the way in and pulls it zipper down faster than Jack's fly.
-Narrator: A peek inside leads to a surprising discovery.<br>
-Sally: (Laughs)
Sally: (On helium) This is so cool! (Giggles)
Narrator: The party balloon is filled with helium.
Jack: Go in!
Sally: (On helium) Oh yeah! (Laughs) Oh my god.
Jack: (On helium) Nooooo!
Narrator: Once inside, they are laughing gas chamber, Sally and Jack, are feeling no pain.
Sally: (On helium) (Laughs)
Jack: (On helium) (Echoes) We're in the giant basketball.
Dr. S. Thomas Carmichael: The thing we get when we going in the operating room, so they're actually going under anesthesia, slowly getting anesthetize,
-Sally: (On helium) (Laughs)<br>
-Dr. S. Thomas Carmichael: shutting down the brain function, at the same time, they're asphyxiated. And it's gonna slowly produce a disordered neurotransmission in the brain, and shut higher order senders in the brain off.
Narrator: At first, it's all fun in games. But after a while, their lightheaded helium buzz, become something else.
Jack: (On helium) (Coughs) Woo!
Narrator: Something... a lot worse.
Sally: (On helium) I feel so weird.
Jack: (On helium) Yeah... I think er... (Coughs) we should probably get... some air really quick.
Narrator: These 2 college kids, should've hit the books over the heart. A helium monium environment might be fun to play in. You just can't live with it.
Narrator: Jack & Sally spent their last moments, disoriented, unable to find the magic zipper.
Jack: (On helium) Keep looking! (Coughs)
Narrator: Finally succumbing to the lack of oxygen.
Jack & Sally: (On helium) (Cough)
Narrator: Once they locked themselves in their funhouse, it was only a matter time before their fun turned to none.
| Gasketballed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gay Died
| Gay Died |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gene Ruebsamen
Gene Ruebsamen is a robotic engineer. He interviewed these two deaths in "1000 Ways to Die" where the CGI is explained.
| Gene Ruebsamen |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Getting A Rise From The Dead
Getting A Rise From The Dead.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 40.
Originally aired February 16, 2011.
Title reference: A zombie-related event in this episode (See "Way to Die #209").
-- This is the Original Episode --
Sign Offed.
Way to Die #298
On September 21, 2005, in Ocean Beach, CA. A sign spinner has been showing off his skills to impress a beautiful barista at a nearby coffeehouse. When a rival spinner shows up across the street, the two start trying to outdo each other and win the barista's attention. After the first spinner nearly gets hit by a passing car, he accidentally slashes his jugular vein with the edge of his sign (now jagged from repeated hits against the pavement) and quickly bleeds to death.
Alt names - Spin Head
Chef Boy-R-Dead.
Way to Die #512
On March 14, 2004, in New York, NY. A sous-chef works hard to gain the trust of her domineering chef in an attempt to steal his PDA, which contains his recipes. When the chef leaves for the night, the sous-chef steals the PDA from his pocket. Hearing a noise, the sous-chef drops the PDA and squeezes herself inside the restaurant's dishwasher. The chef returns, gets his PDA, and leaves again. Soon afterward, another employee turns the machine on, spraying the sous-chef with hot water that scalds her to death.
Alt names - Et Tu Fay
Par For The Corpse.
Way to Die #209
On October 29, 2009, in Eugene, OR. In a parody of grindhouse-style zombie horror movie trailers, a teenage couple making out in a cemetery are scared off by a sickly, shambling man thought to be a zombie. The narrator then explains that the "zombie" is actually a cemetery groundskeeper with little respect for the dead suffering from a fatal allergic reaction to the fungicide he sprayed on the cemetery grass (which he unknowingly ingested by way of chewing on the golf tees he had in his mouth while using the cemetery as his personal golf course).
Alt names - Skin Game
Dip N' Die.
Way to Die #206
On April 8, 2007, at the Arizona Border. An illegal immigrant-hunting vigilante is driving along the border, chewing tobacco. His truck suddenly hits a rock, causing him to bite his tongue while chewing tobacco, which triggers a bout of erectile glossitis and causes the man to choke on his swelling tongue.
Alt names - Tongue in Cheek
Dead Fella.
Way to Die #178
On September 19, 2004, in Atlantic City, NJ. Two mobsters attempt to kill a third mobster who plans on testifying against them in court. They stand in front of his car at opposite sides and attempt to shoot through the windshield. However, the car has been outfitted with bulletproof glass, and one shooter's bullet ricochets into the other's carotid artery, killing him.
Alt names - Rico-Chet
Double-O-Severed.
Way to Die #555
On May 6, 2007, in New York, NY. A spy committing corporate espionage climbs down a hotel's air duct to install a listening device outside the room which an important meeting is to take place there. His assistant nephew accidentally turns on the duct's fan, which catches the spy's rope and winds it up. He bleeds to death when the fan blades sever his legs.
Alt names - I Spy A Spy's Eye
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Snakenstein.
Way to Die #441
On December 2, 1937, in Berlin, Germany. An unethical scientist interested in reanimation is only able to bring animal parts back to life, using chemicals and electric current. When he experiments on a rattlesnake carcass, a spasm in its muscles causes the fangs to drive into his neck, injecting him with a lethal dose of venom.
Alt names - One Deadly Bite
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Getting A Rise From The Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Ghost Busted
"Ghost Busted", Way to Die #134, is the last death to be featured in "Tweets From the Dead", which aired on March 26, 2012.
Plot.
Two wannabe/rookie ghost hunters named Chester and Lester begin filming the pilot episode for their show, "The" "Ghost Molesters", in the Rodella, an abandoned house which formerly served as a brothel and has a reputation for being haunted. They try to find spirits of prostitutes and have sex with them. At one point, the duo discover a staircase into the attic, which they believe to be the main sex chamber. While in the attic, Chester and Lester discover a ghostly cloaked figure and as they try to investigate it, the figure chases them away and they run out screaming.
The "ghost figure" reveals himself to be the Rodella's owner who was long annoyed by the numerous break-ins on his property. The men run away, with Lester descending to the ground off the ladder, and Chester making a dash for the car. Once Lester descends the ladder, in a panic, he knocks a wrench off the roof and it hits him in the head, knocking him out.
Lester is then run over by Chester with their own car. The wheels crushed his spine, fractured his arms and legs, exploded his heart, and ruptured his lungs, causing Lester to bleed out and die instantly. Upon realizing that Lester was not following him or even in the car, Chester runs out, only to find that he had accidentally killed his partner. Horrified, he shouts, "NOOOOOO! LESTER!!!"
| Ghost Busted |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Glow Job
"Glow Job", Way to Die #207, is the fourth death featured in "Dead Wrongs", which aired on September 28, 2010.
Plot.
A drug dealer named Rush does business at a rave, but gets bored when business slows down. Rush then breaks the cardinal rule of drug dealing ("Never get high on your own supply") and takes a few hits of ecstasy. In his high, he injects himself with fluid from a glow stick and dies of phenol poisoning and kidney failure.
Transcript.
Narrator: It's 5 o'clock in the morning and this rave isn't its death rows. Most of the crowd have gone home or have been carded off to the local emergency room.
Jenna Davis: At a typical rave, there's not lot of security, there's lot of music, a lot of drugs, a lot of sex, and a lot of good times.
Narrator: But now, only the hardcore party is remained, and this guy. A drug dealer named Rush.
Rush: What do you want?
Narrator: Rush's the guy go to when you wanna keep your buzz going. The inside of this clee, was stuffed with everything from ecstasy to heroine.
Rush: Hey, yo. What you want?
Man: Ones with pix.
Rush: This, yeah?
-Man: Yeah.<br>
-Rush: It's hard, man, this is hard, it's 50.
Narrator: Rush, was a predator, not a partier. Tonight, Rush broke the card rule drug dealing: Never get high on your own supply.
Narrator: He popped a couple of hits of ecstasy, and not used to be so wasted, he freaked out.
Narrator: This is why yo mama told you not to do drugs. All watching flies out the window and you do stupid things. Like empty abulo glow stick into a kitty pool, and smear it all over your bodies.
Narrator: One stupid idea let to another.
Narrator: Rather than smear it, Rush mainline the glowing glue straight to his arm.
Narrator: He led up like a nuclear reactor.
Narrator: And then... melt it down.
Narrator: The mixture of chemicals in glow sticks creates a biproduct called phenol. Once it enters the blood stream, phenol shuts down the nervous system and triggers kidney failure. The Nazi's experimented with phenol executions during World War II.
Narrator: Rush preyed on innocent kids who just wanted to party. But when he tried to join in, he wound up... x'd out.
| Glow Job |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Goel Keeper
| Goel Keeper |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Golden Die-Angle
| Golden Die-Angle |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Golden Die-angle
"Golden Die-angle", Way to Die #507, is the first death to be featured in "Fatal Distractions", which aired on October 5, 2010.
Plot.
Ting (Portrayed by Surawit Sae Kang) was hired by the Southeast Asian drug lords to protect their opium. Ting has a way to treat trespassers by decapitating them without showing any remorse. He would display their severed heads on his posts as a warning for upcoming potential poachers/trespassers. One day, Ting receives a word/call from somebody that a couple more poachers/trespassers, who are being initiated, are out. Ting prepares his machete, hops on his ATV and chases the two wannabe drug smugglers. In the heat of the chase, the two wannabe drug smugglers hide and Ting turns his speeder around, but he forgets one important thing; the barbed-wire fence that he installed a few days earlier. As his speeder drives through the fence, the top wire of the fence ironically decapitates Ting.
Transcript.
Narrator: The golden triangle in southeast Asia's where most of the world's opium is grown.
Narrator: It pulls in billions for the drug lords. Who hired guys like Ting, to protect their prophets.
Richard Lichten: If you're caught trying to poach poppy fields in the golden triangle, what these drug cartels will do is torture you. One of the ways they'll torture is take a hungry rat, put it in a box and then shove your head in box and let the rat eat your face off, into your eyeballs, into your brain and kill you that way.
Narrator: Ting, had his own special way of discouraging trespassers.
Narrator: In fact, Ting had a thing for heads.
Narrator: After cutting them off, he would mount them on posts around the compound. As a heads-up warning to other potential poachers.
Narrator: Most of time, Ting would sit back and enjoy the perks of the job.
Narrator: But when duty called...
Ting: Okay.
Narrator: he was all business.
Narrator: Just another couple of drug lord wannabes who thought they'd go into business for themselves.
Drug smugglers: (Scream)
Narrator: Ting was on them like a fly on water buffalo dung...
Narrator: But he got turned around in the heat of the chase,
Narrator: and forgot about a new booby trap wire he had rigged a few days ago.
Narrator: And Ting's head, and his body, went their separate ways.
Dr. Boyd Flinders: This guy was traveling along at such high speed, he ran into barbed wire...
Dr. Boyd Flinders: right at the level of his neck. The sharp barbs on the wire cut through the soft tissue and the wire itself acting like a garret took his head right off.
Narrator: The drug trade was a dangerous and risky business.
Narrator: Ting flipped his death coin in the air, and when it came down, it read...
Narrator: heads, you lose.
| Golden Die-angle |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gone Fission
"Gone Fission", Way to Die #692, is the fifth death featured in "Sudden Death," which aired on December 22, 2010.
Plot.
Somad and Siraki were two wannabe terrorists who construct a plutonium nuclear bomb, which is bad news. The good news about them is that they are more of a threat to themselves than they are to the rest of the world. Before working, Siraki catches Somad with his headphones and Somad ignores him (because the song he is listening to is "Toxic" by Britney Spears, his favorite celebrity). Again, Siraki tells Somad to take his headphones off and he finally does as he was told. They finally get to work. What they didn't know is that the plutonium nuclear core is nicknamed "The Demon Core", because several scientists attempting to experiment on it died afterwards.
Just as Somad was about to place the last tungsten carbide brick for a test on the plutonium core, he burped after eating a camel burger, which caused him to fumble the brick as it made brief contact with the core. An incredible bright blue light flashed and exposed Somad and Siraki to a massive surge of radiation, comparable to being within a mile at Nagasaki's ground zero, causing both of them to fall unconscious and start vomiting. They were so overcome with radiation, they couldn't even crawl out of the lab. Within a few hours, the surge destroys their immune systems and both men are overcome with extreme nausea and become bedridden, leaving them extremely fatigued and their muscles to be eaten away, and eventually, the two die of bacterial pneumonia and asphyxiation as their lungs fill with fluid.
Transcript.
Narrator: Nuclear terrorism is no joke, but little did Somad and Siraki know that they were just one burp away from becoming weapons of gas destruction.
Segment Description.
Description as seen on Spike TV's website
| Gone Fission |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gone Green
"Gone Green" Way to Die #612, is the first death featured in season 5 finale: "Locked and Low Dead", which aired February 29, 2012.
Plot.
A rich socialite named Sharon throws a St. Patrick's Day party and plans to show off the $3,000 antique green dress she shoplifted, which contains Paris Green dye (a poisonous dye containing a chemical called copper acetoarsenite, common in rat poison). During the raucous party, everyone gets drunk and hurls champagne all over Sharon and her dress. In the morning, while everyone wakes up with severe hangovers, Sharon wakes up to find that she's been dyed green, then takes off her shoplifted dress, vomits green slime, and finally dies of organ failure from the dye seeping into her skin.
Transcript.
Sharon: (Whimpers)
Narrator: Sharon had no scroplist. And she had no marbles. But she found that even on St. Patty's Day, it ain't easy... being green.
| Gone Green |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Good Riddance
| Good Riddance |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gooed Riddance
"Gooed Riddance", Way to Die #802, is the sixth death to be featured in "", which aired on December 8, 2010.
Plot.
A group of women who met at summer camp when they were fourteen have a ten-year reunion, curious to see what their lives would be like. Besides their love of alcohol, they were still the same young girls at heart. All of them played pillow fight, except for one obnoxious woman named Carly, who became a mean girl and wants nothing to do with her childish friends anymore. They then play "chubby bunny" and Carly wins just as before. However, the marshmallows melted in her mouth due to body temperature and collected in her trachea, choking her to death.
Transcript.
"(Sexathon is playing)"
Slumber Party Girl #1: Ladies, welcome to my room.
Narrator: 10 years ago, when these girls were just 14, they formed a bond at summer camp. They thought would last forever. They made a solemn vow to meet 10 years later. They were curious to see how life had changed.
"(Carly sits on the couch)"
Slumber Party Girl #2: "(To the rabbit plush)" And you used to sleep with me every night, didn't you?
Narrator: The first obvious difference was their choice of refreshments.
Slumber Party Girl #1: We got the vodka, ladies!
"(Slumber party girls cheer)"
Narrator: In other ways they were still the same giggling group of little girls.
Slumber Party Girl #1: But first: Pillow fight!!
"(James Brown Bond is playing, Slumber party girls pillow fighting, meanwhile Carly is displeased)"
Narrator: They hadn't changed that much at all. Except for Carly.
"(Repeat After Me is playing)"
Slumber Party Girl #1: Come on, Carly, get in it!
Narrator: It seems in the last 10 years, Carly has gone from being a cute little girl to a fully mature bitch on wheels.
Carly: I cannot believe I am even here...
"(Slumber party girls apply lipstick)"
Carly: Yeah, it doesn't matter how much makeup you put on, 'cause I'm still gonna be hotter than you. "(Giggles)"
"(Slumber party girls roll their eyes up)"
Narrator: The other girls were beginning to regret saving Carly from drowning at camp 10 years ago.
Slumber Party Girl #2: Carly.
Carly: Yeah?
Slumber Party Girl #2: Have ever played the game "Chubby Bunny"?
Carly: Yeah, if I recall, I beat you all. "(Grins)"
Slumber Party Girl #2: Well, why don't we play?
Carly: Alright, let's do it!
"(Orchestra Extreme for Joe is playing)"
Jaclynn Robinson: Insecurity is a key component and females that act out as Mean Girls whenever they bully other girls they get this sense of control, they feel popular, they feel loved by all girls that are backing them up. So this just validates their behavior.
"(Sex Mex is playing, Chubby Bunny Round 1, Carly begins)"
Carly: Chubby Bunny.
Slumber Party Girl #1: Chubby Bunny.
Slumber Party Girl #3: Chubby Bunny.
Slumber Party Girl #2: Chubby Bu... Bunny!
"(SPG #2 throws the marshmallow out, eliminated, Carly claps her hands, [] is playing)"
Narrator: One by one they dropped out of the competition...
"(SPG #3 is eliminated)"
Narrator: Until, surprise...
-Slumber Party Girl #2: Go, go, go, go ,go, go, go, go, go!<br>
-Slumber Party Girl #3: Come on! Come on, come on! You have to beat her.
Narrator: The bi[a]tch with the biggest mouth won.
"(SPG #1 is eliminated, Carly overjoys of win)"
Narrator: Winning gracefully not in Carly's vocabulary. But right then, all words fail the young happy...
"(Carly's expression turns happiness to shock when she realizes..., [] is playing)"
Slumber Party Girl #1: Oh my god.
"(...that she chokes herself!)"
Slumber Party Girl #2: Spit it out.
Slumber Party Girl #1: Carly.
Narrator: She was drowning again.
"(Carly falls off the bed)"
Slumber Party Girl #2: Oh my god...!
Narrator: But this time, there was nothing her friends could do about it.
"(SPG #1 tries to help Carly by removing marshmallow but too late, she dies; Demonic Introduction is playing, CGI shows the marshmallows melts, choke the throat)"
Dr. George Fallieras: Any airway obstruction can easily lead to asphyxiation. Unfortunately in Carly's case, her body heat melted this marshmallow right inside her trachea causing a seal and this led to an unfortunate and most likely panic to death for Carly.
"(Recap, SPG pillow fighting, [] is playing)"
Narrator: Somewhere along the way, Carly lost her innocence,
Carly: I cannot believe I am even here...
Narrator: and turned bitchy and mean.
Carly: Chubby Bunny.
Narrator: Life became a bitter pill that she just... couldn’t...
"(Carly chokes herself with marshmallows, falls off the bed)"
Slumber Party Girl #2: Oh my god...!
Narrator: swallow.
| Gooed Riddance |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Goon Interrupted
"Goon Interrupted", Way to Die #412, is the sixth death to be featured in "Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death", which aired on February 23, 2011.
Plot.
Marco is a hitman who pleads insanity and is sent to a mental hospital after his trial for murder. He then attempts to escape from his fifth-floor ward by climbing down a laundry chute, but the weight of the laundry dumped onto him (Since on that day, it was laundry day) from higher floors causes him to lose his grip. Marco falls 50 feet and lands on a concrete floor, suffering a broken leg, punctured lungs and a fractured skull and dies on the spot.
"This niandophore was never known for his brains. The chute was hard to maneuver down. Very slippery and he was starting from the 5th floor. Even worse: It was laundry day. As soon as he started climbing down, a hundred pounds of urine steam sheets and towels, came raining down on his head. Marco struggled to hold on, but lost his grip...50 feet from freedom."
Transcript.
Narrator: Marco might look like a fruitcake,
Narrator: but he's just a hitman who got caught.
Victim: NOOOOO!!!
Narrator: Copt in the insanity plea, and he was sentenced to a hospital for the criminally insane.
Narrator: But the last thing Marco wanted was to rupt short bunch of looney tunes.
Narrator: He immediately started planning his escape. Then it came to him.
Narrator: The laundry chute.
Narrator: When the orderies were distracted, Marco made his move.
Narrator: This niandophore was never known for his brains.
Narrator: The chute was hard to maneuver down. Very slippery and he was starting from the 5th floor. Even worse: It was laundry day.
Narrator: As soon as he started climbing down, a hundred pounds of urine steam sheets and towels, came raining down on his head.
Narrator: Marco struggled to hold on. But lost his grip, 50ft from freedom.
Dr. Boyd Flinders: This individual who fell 50ft, landing on the hard concrete...
Dr. Boyd Flinders: Initially landed feet first. He snapped his femur, by breaking a too thick. His spleen, just exploded. And he also crushed his skull, and it causes immediate death within few minutes.
Narrator: Marco was a cold blooded hitman...
Victim: NOOOOO!!!
Narrator: who faked his way into the looney bin...
Narrator: and became...
Narrator: a big hit.
| Goon Interrupted |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gorgeous Gorge
"Gorgeous Gorge", Way to Die #892, is the second death to be featured in "Death Gets Busy", which aired on February 22, 2009.
Plot.
Natasha (Arielle Brachfield) is a supermodel, right now Natasha is feeling a little less than super, living out of a suitcase, empty hotel rooms, her life of glamor is a full time grind, the worst of all is her constant dieting. In her world, "If you're not thin, you're out." What's Natasha's secret? She starves herself, to make matters worse, she's fallen into a pattern of extremely destructive behavior, bulimia.
She calls room service and asks to bring her everything. This has become a common ritual for Natasha, each time it's a struggle between love and hate for food, In the end the compulsion to binge always wins over. By literally stuffing herself with every kind of dish imaginable, Natasha hopes that the empty feeling will go away, because of her fear of becoming overweight, Natasha's not planning on digesting any of this food. Before Natasha could jam her fingers down her throat to induce vomiting, her pattern of self-abuse came to a sudden end. Her stomach ruptures from peritonitis and her death became instant.
"This has become a common ritual for Natasha. Each time, it's a struggle between love and hate for food. In the end, the compulsion to binge always wins over. By literally stuffing herself with every kind of dish imaginable, Natasha hopes that the empty feeling will go away. Because of her fear of becoming overweight, Natasha's not planning on digesting any of this food."
Transcript.
Narrator:
Narrator: This has become a common ritual for Natasha. Each time, it's a struggle between love and hate for food. In the end, the compulsion to binge always wins over. By literally stuffing herself with every kind of dish imaginable, Natasha hopes that the empty feeling will go away. Because of her fear of becoming overweight, Natasha's not planning on digesting any of this food.
Narrator: Natasha made her living off her looks, in the end, she wound up dying for them.
| Gorgeous Gorge |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gory Holed
"Gory Holed", Way to Die #826, is the second death featured in "Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever", which aired on August 22, 2011.
Plot.
Bernie is an elderly man who managed to purchase a computer through money from social security checks. When his wife walks in and says they planned to go to the movies, Bernie blows her off to use an adult chat room and poses as a 24 year old male and talks to an 18 year old blonde female (who is in reality, also another dirty old man). When Bernie asks for pictures, the dial-up modem slows the download down and makes Bernie impatient. To pass the time, Bernie impatiently bounces up and down in his swivel chair (causing a friction between the cylinder parts and the gas within, which later heats up and explodes), waiting for his porn. This causes the cylinder from the chair to rocket up and impale Bernie in his rectum, sending him into shock, and killing him, sending the unfaithfully perverted old man to Hell as he deserves. When his wife checks in, she’s horrified and saddened to see him dead, and starts sobbing over her husband's demise.
"His dial-up modem was making his download take forever. But then...his CHAIR exploded."
Transcript.
Narrator: His dial-up modem was making his download take forever. But then...his CHAIR exploded.
Narrator: Bernie couldn't wait for his porn to download...and then he got the shaft... from a fatal upload.
| Gory Holed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Grateful Bed
"Grateful Bed", Way to Die #120, is the fourth death to be featured in "Come On, Get Deathy", which aired on
January 20, 2010.
Plot.
Joey was a guitar player who wanted to become a famous musician. He was listening to a segment of his recording of his title track for his album, "Baby Baby Baby", when suddenly...
"But then, reality came knocking."
""JOEY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!" -"His landlord, clearly pissed off with the fact Joey isn't paying his rent.
The landlord knocks on his door, conveniently on the lyric, "When the landlord comes a-knocking, I'll be rocking out of here". Joey was trapped and hid in his murphy bed. When the landlord knocks the door down, Joey stays in the bed and waits. However, when the landlord leaves, Joey's murphy bed is stuck and he cannot get out. To make things worse, Joey had soundproofed his room with cheap egg cartons and nobody could hear his muffled cries for help. Joey then suffocates to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: There are 2 things about Joey that I identify him as a typical musician:
Joey: (Monologuing) Ladies and gentlemen, the first song of my new album: Baby, Baby, Baby. With my smash hit, Baby, Baby, Baby.
-Joey: (Singing) Baby, baby, baby. Baby, thank god, you were.<br>
-Narrator: 1: He lived in a complete fantasy world he was already a huge star, and 2: He was broke.
Joey: (Monologuing) Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen!
Tommy Kende: To become a... a successful musician, you literally have to put your balls on the chopping block. I've been in situations where I literally had no idea where uh, the next dollar was gonna come from. Sometimes you can use it as an excuse to say "You know what? I'm just doing this for my art, man." But, if you don't how to pay the rent, you'll end up on the street.
-Joey: (Singing) I said... baby, baby, baby... Baby, baby, baby.<br>
-Narrator: The street, was right way Joey was headed. He was 3 months behind on his rent.
Narrator: Joey was putting his life into a new song, hoping that "this" would be his big hit.
Joey: (Singing, on the laptop) ...When the landlord comes a-knocking, I'll be rockin'...
Joey: (Singing, on the laptop) ...out of here.
Narrator: But then, reality came knocking.
Landlord: (From the corridor) JOEY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!
-Narrator: His landlord didn't sound too happy.<br>
-Landlord: (From the corridor) HEY, JOEY!!!
Landlord: (From the corridor) PAY THAT FREAKIN' RENT!!!
Narrator: Joey was trapped. He had nowhere to hide, except... his wall-bed.
Joey: (Breathes complicatedly)
Landlord: Never rent to a FREAKIN' musician!!
Narrator: Joey had ditched his homicidal landlord. But he now was faced with a bigger problem: the bed was stuck.
-Joey: (Breathes complicatedly)<br>
-Narrator: And with the mattress and covers, sealing up the cracks, he was running out of air.
Dr. Pavel Bindra: Time's your enemy. You are... backed up against the mattress, the mattress could be against your mouth, and your nose, which is the only way you can get air and oxygen into your body.
Dr. Pavel Bindra: The mechanics can be against you, because mattress could be pressing against you, and you can't expand or contract the chest. And you basically choked off... the oxygen supply to the lungs. Which then freshen out the blood, you basically asphyxiate to death.
-Joey: (Muffles for help)<br>
-Narrator: Joey had soundproofed his pad with cheap egg cartons. No one could hear his muffled cries for help. Over the next hour, he went from rockstar...
Narrator: to stone-cold dead.
Joey: Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen! You're too kind, you're too kind.
Other Quotes.
"PAY THAT FREAKIN' RENT!!!" -Joey's landlord screaming at Joey to pay rent"."
"NEVER RENT TO A FREAKIN' MUSICIAN!!!" -The last thing Joey's landlord says before leaving the room, and before Joey suffocates"."
| Grateful Bed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gratefully Dead
Gratefully Dead.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 18.
Originally aired January 13, 2010.
Title reference: A pun on the folk-rock band Grateful Dead.
-- This is the Original Episode
Mercury in Uranus.
Way to Die #599
On July 28, 1979, in Norman, OK. A frequent hospital patient who pleasures himself by sticking common objects up his anus returns when he claims to have gotten a shampoo bottle stuck in his rectum by slipping in the shower. While left alone after the bottle is removed, he finds a drawer containing glass rectal mercury thermometers and shoves nine of them taped together up his anus. When startled by the doctor, the man jumps back on the bed and breaks the thermometers while they are still inside of him, causing internal bleeding and mercury poisoning.
Alt names - Thermometers of Terror
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
A Turn For The Purse.
Way to Die #297
On October 9, 2003, in Dallas, TX. A stripper living in a suburban town has her purse stolen by a mugger on a bicycle, who threatens her with a screwdriver. A nearby man sees the mugger and goes after him. The mugger speeds away, but hits his bike on a rock and flies onto a lawn, where he impaled on his screwdriver through his heart. The stripper then takes her purse back and calmly walks away.
Alt names - Invasion of the Purse Snatcher
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Dead Weight.
Way to Die #102
On March 9, 2002, in Newton, MA. A drunk weightlifter makes a bet with his workout partner that he can lift a 350 pound I-beam he found at a construction site, but ends up dropping it on his chest after losing his grip, crushing his windpipe.
Alt names - Crushed
Cult Evaded.
Way to Die #310
On September 20, 2000, in Encino, CA. A teenaged girl who has been in foster homes for most of her life is taken in by an extremely devout Christian couple. On her first day living with them, they are immediately convinced that she is possessed by the Devil because of her tattoos, piercings, dark make-up, and interest in the Goth subculture (including having a boyfriend who is Goth), so they and two friends from their church try to exorcise her by tying her to the ground inside an enclosed tent and burning a large amount of coal and incense to rid her of the alleged demons inside her. As the coal and incense create more smoke inside the tent, everyone (except for her, who was so low to the ground that she had a layer of fresh air above her) drops dead from carbon monoxide inhalation. She then unties herself and happily heads off to the mall, unfazed over their deaths.
Smoke-A-Doped.
Way to Die #463
On October 14, 1997, in Newark, DE. A man refuses to have sex with his sex addict girlfriend unless she quits smoking. The woman finds a box of nicotine patches in her bathroom and puts a month's worth of them all over her body, thinking they will make her break her addiction overnight. However, the excess of nicotine overloads her system and she dies of cardiac arrest.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Two Stoopid.
Way to Die #655
On March 15, 2005, in Portland, ME and Reno, NV. This episode features two deaths in one, and both take place at the same time but in different states:
Alt names - Double Death
Cream-ated.
Way to Die #204
On August 20, 2008, La Crosse, WI. A man who suffered mental and sexual abuse from his sadistic uncle in a cow costume develops a fetish for drinking milk straight from a cow's udders. On this particular occasion, he is kicked in the head when he accidentally bites the cow's teat, and dies when his brain bleeds out inside his skull.
Alt names - Cow-Punked
| Gratefully Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Grave Errors
Grave Errors.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 42.
Originally aired March 2, 2011.
Title reference: This must be the second episode to do so; which was saying "Unforced Errors".
-- This is the Original Episode --
Curl Up And Die.
Way to Die #786
On November 1, 1972, in Beverly Hills, CA. A hairstylist, known for seducing his female clients with Quaaludes and vodka and still under the influence of the cocktail from a fling moments before, begins to work on his next client. The hairstylist passes out from the drugs and lands on the floor with his neck on top of a heated curling iron. As the curling iron burns through the man's neck, the dead tissue blocks his trachea, which creates asphyxiation.
Alt names - Hair Die
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Who Ded?.
Way to Die #281
On September 16, 2005, in New Orleans, LA. Two college-aged women disguised as disaster relief workers for Hurricane Katrina rob a church. Upon stumbling into the flooded basement, they step into the water and are immediately electrocuted by a severed power line under the water.
Alt names - Sore Looters
Crack Piped.
Way to Die #151
On January 2, 1903, in Manhattan, NY. Two tunnel-working scam artists, attempting to exploit the pneumatic tubing systems of the early banks, cut one of the tubes and stuff in a block of wood to catch the money capsules. As more capsules back up in the line and pressure builds, they pull the block out, causing the pipe to explode and inflict fatal shrapnel injuries to both men.
Alt names - Tube Much Pressure
Thanks A-Clot.
Way to Die #753
On February 12, 2005 in Cebu Island, Philippines. A psychic surgeon who scams the sick into believing he can cure them touches the mucus of a leper with a runny nose. Some time later, he contracts leprosy, and dies of a lung clot.
Alt names - Dr. Doctor
Odds Are You're Dead.
Way to Die #594
On December 3, 2004, in Mercer, NJ. A loan shark confronts a scissor lift operator over a debt. When operator refuses to come down, the shark cuts the hydraulic brake to the scissor lift. The lift comes crashing down on the loan shark and decapitates him.
Alt names - Morning Shift
Chemi-Killed.
Way to Die #405
On July 31, 2003, in Bethesda, MD. A lab assistant, enraged by the rejection from her married co-worker who had sex with her and regretted it, goes on a rampage in the laboratory, destroying his latest experiment. She grabs a flask of sodium azide and smashes it into a sink full of water. The sodium azide converts to hydrogen azide gas, which burns the skin off her face and destroys her lungs.
Alt names - Down the Drain
i-Boned.
Way to Die #327
On June 12, 2009, in Cincinnati, OH. A cell phone addict annoying and infuriating others with her chatter at a movie theater dies when the defective battery in her phone short circuits and the phone explodes, sending shrapnel into her inner ear and brain.
Alt names - Battery Dead
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Grave Errors |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Greased Is The Word
"Greased Is The Word", Way to Die #89, is the fifth death to be featured in "Up With Death", which aired on December 16, 2009.
Plot.
Gomer, a parolee let out after doing time for a failed stick-up attempt, plans his next attack to be on a jewelry store. To prepare for it, he puts on a fish-net mask and takes out his gun. However, due to the mask blocking his vision, Gomer ends up walking into the wrong store. Even worse, the store he was in was a gun shop, and Gomer was shot to death by the clerks and customers inside when he pulls out his gun. They shot him multiple times until he received a fatal shot to the heart, with death becoming instantaneous, ending his final stick-up attempt as a failure as he is sent to the hell he deserved.
""Gomer's last stick-up was his last act on earth, but his fame lives on. On the internet, the gun shop security cam video has two million hits and counting.""
Transcript.
Narrator: Gomer's last stick-up was his last act on earth, but his fame lives on. On the internet, the gun shop security cam video has two million hits and counting.
| Greased Is The Word |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Great Hanged
Great Hanged, Way to Die #434, is the seventh and the Final Segment in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.
Plot.
Hank told his wife that he writes children's books and is currently working on his first best-seller, but in reality, he spends every day drinking beer with his friends. Since his wife is a surgeon who earns a lot of money, he doesn't have to take care of anything. After thinking that his wife is returning home and he hasn't written anything, he needs to come up with a situation where he doesn't need to give an explanation for the unwritten books, so his friends tell him that they'll tie him to a tree, making his wife think that he got robbed and, therefore, he was unable to work. Tied to a tree with his arms above him, Hank waits for his wife to return, but she is busy taking care of a long and complicated operation before returning home. He starts to have trouble breathing and his heart couldn't take the breathing resistance anymore, so it stops for good and Hank dies from heart failure, ceasing his dishonest tellings forever. Later on, his wife finally comes home and expresses horror upon seeing his hanging corpse.
| Great Hanged |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Green Grosser
| Green Grosser |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Grilled
"Grilled", Way to Die # 407, is the first death to be featured in "Think Globally, Die Locally," which aired on March 19, 2012.
Plot.
Hung Lo, a jewelry shop owner, is obsessed with gangster rapping. He uses it to bully, torture, tease, and harass his workers into making jewelry with toxic legumes called rosary peas (which contain abrin). Eventually, they couldn't take anymore of his badmouth rapping, or his bullying, teasing, harassing, torturing, and provoking, so they decide to fashion a gold grill lined with rosary peas as a way of revenge. As Hung Lo begins wearing the grill, it poisons him, until he finally dies by multi-organic failure, as foam oozes from his mouth.
Hung Lo's lyrics (warning: strong language).
English
"Nothing could be fine-a than to be with me in China!"
"I'm a badass mother"
"A Chinese brother"
"Heads up, bitches! Look at me!"
"I've got my own sweatshop jewelry factory!"
"I hire my own workers, pay them next to nothing"'
"If they don't like it, f*** them!"
"If you give me some sass"
"I'll pop a cap in your ass!"
Latin American Spanish
"¡En China no hay mejor, que este buen señor!"
"¡Soy un chino recio!"
"¡No me gusta el necio!"
"¡Miren perras! ¡Miren bien!"
"¡Tengo mi negocio y lo quiero en un santamien!"
"Tengo mis obreras, no les pago nada"
"Y si no les gusta, ¡Les meto mi espada!"
"¡Si no va ligero!"
"¡Les meto una lata en el trasero!"
Latin American Spanish (Translated to English):
In China there is no better than this good man!
I'm a tough Chinese!
I don't like the fool!
Look bitches! Look well!
I have my business and I want it in a jiffy!
I have my workers, I don't pay them anything
And if they don't like it, I put my sword in them!
If it doesn't go light!
I'll stick a can up their asses!
| Grilled |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Guitar Zeros
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"Guitar Zeros", Way to Die #66, is the third death featured in the episode "Cure for the Common Death, Part I", which aired on March 22, 2009.
Plot.
Chinese best friends Li and Feng are a duo of devoted heavy metal music fans who work day jobs as toy factory employees assembling toys for export to the West. Due to their extreme obsessiveness with the genre, they constitute a minority of heavy metal fans who don't think logically. Every night, most especially on weekends, Li and Feng rocked out to heavy metal until dawn break, the loud music blasting from their tiny apartment. Their jamming included air-guitars, air-drums, moshing, headbanging, and screaming.
One night, they jump on and off their beds right after destroying their air guitars, dangerously close to an open window. Li jumps on the bed near the window, but he slips and falls right out the window 60-feet down to the pavement. Feng, who had just witnessed his roommate's demise, can't bare to live without his lifelong friend, so he intentionally jumps off his bed right out the window after making one last Chinese warlord scream and he too, dies instantly on the sidewalk and abandons his and Li's apartment. Now, Li and Feng's bloody corpses were lying lifeless on the sidewalk, only inches away from each other.
"Feng can't bear the thought of breaking up the band. He gives one last Chinese warlord scream and follows his rock-and-roll brother out of the window."
| Guitar Zeros |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gum's the Word
"Gum's the Word", Way to Die #261, is the fourth death to be featured in "Death On A Stick", which aired on August 3, 2010.
Plot.
Raul was a predatory nurse who tricked elderly women into giving him their money and making out with him. When he finds out that his current target has bad breath, he heads to the bathroom for mints, but ends up swallowing denture-whitening tablets by mistake. He then takes a drink of water, which turns out to be dissolved denture cleaner. The two denture products destroy his insides, and he dies in ten minutes due to a lack of oxygen in his blood.
Transcript.
Narrator: Raul was a fake, who lied to get what he wanted. In the end, you can say he died of...truth decay.
| Gum's the Word |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Guns N' Noses
"Guns N' Noses", Way to Die #465, is the fourth death featured in "Killing Them Softly", which aired on March 9, 2011.
Plot.
After capturing and killing a diamond smuggler and put the rough diamonds in a tray, a ruthless warlord named Tomo celebrates by snorting "brown-brown" (cocaine laced with nitroglycerine-laced gunpowder), after some sniffles he bleeds to death, but the death don't was by the combination of cocaine and gunpowder.
He was unaware that the tray holding the mixture is contaminated with diamond dust from the rough diamonds that he got; when he snorts the mixture, the particles lacerate his arteries, ripped up his lungs, and sliced up his heart, causing him to bleed to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: Tomo was really going at it, snorting line after line of the drug. But brown-brown was making Tomo... 'bleed-bleed.
Narrator: Tomo: the gun-shooting cocaine-gunpowder tooting warlord learned a valuable lesson. Diamonds don't last forever...Being dead does!
| Guns N' Noses |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Gut Busted
"Gut Busted", Way to Die #117, is the first death to be featured in "", which aired on March 29, 2009.
Plot.
Dave "the Egg" Vespucci is an overeating, beer-drinking slob out on a date at a wings restaurant with his girlfriend Audrey. While on the date, Dave suffers from a bout of chronic belching which disgusts his date. Unbeknownst to Dave, the peptic ulcers in his stomach had began to bleed out, resulting in the burping. Dave convinces Audrey to punch him in the gut, thinking it will cure the burping. The hard blow to Dave's gut causes his stomach to rupture and all its contents to spill out into his body cavity, as he burps one last time.
"Today Dave was really letting it fly. Audrey was mortified. All she wanted was a nice lunch, not a trip to the zoo."
| Gut Busted |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Habeas Corpse
"Habeas Corpse", Way to Die #64, is the first death to be featured in "Unforced Errors", which aired on February 8, 2009.
Plot.
Ian Campbell (Lee McDermott) was impressed with his law firm's new office, but the one thing Ian was impressed with the most was himself. One of his favorite pastimes was hitting on the firm's new female associates. You would think a smart lawyer would know better, but Ian was a sexual harassment case in a $1,000 suit. Ian had a joke he liked to play to impress the ladies: in a conference room on the 40th floor, he'd get a running start and throw himself into the window. The tempered glass would always bounce him back, but this time, it doesn't happen. Ian runs towards the window and shatters it. He falls 40 stories and dies from a shattered skull, his brain herniated onto the streets, and a broken spinal cord.
Transcript.
Ian: Great view, isn't it?
Narrator: Ian Campbell was very impressed with his law firm's new offices.
Narrator: But the one thing Ian was impressed with, was himself.
Ian: Did you know I have a Lamborghini?
Narrator: One of his favorite pastimes was hitting on the firm's new female associates.
Narrator: You would think a smart lawyer would know better, but Ian was a sexual harassment case in a $1,000 suit.
Okorie Okorocha: Partners and law firms, have a lot of power and influence over the careers of brand new associate. You really need this job, and you really at this guy's mercy.
Ian: Great view, isn't it?
Narrator: Ian had a prank he liked to play to impress the ladies: in a conference room on the 40th floor, he'd get a running start and throw himself into the window.
Narrator: The tempered glass would always bounce him back.
Laurel Herter: The tempered glass is just unpredictable.
Laurel Herter: Was developed as a safety technique, so that um... people would get cut on, but on sudden impact, it can just explode.
Ian: This building's amazing. Watch this.
Narrator: Maybe this sleazebag lawyer just ran out of luck... or maybe it was the way his Rolex caught the glass... Because Ian took a running start...
Ian: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: and never stopped.
Male Worker: Oh my god!!!
Ian: (SCREAMS)
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: Once he discovered that their eminent death is there, they... most likely would have pissed on themselves.
Narrator: I say. (Only used in the UK Version)
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: He probably died instantaneously, from the skull shattering on the ground and his brain herniating out the street. His... spine probably shattered, along with his skull and... severing his spinal cord, killing him.
| Habeas Corpse |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hacked Off
"Hacked Off", Way to Die #371, is the sixth death to be featured in "Think Globally, Die Locally", which aired on March 19, 2012.
Plot.
A disgustingly fat computer hacker named Alton was a hacker, who hacked his own pacemaker to manually control his heart rate. However, his teenage neighbor Johnny played his video game using his wireless video game controller. Hacking the pacemaker left it vulnerable to other wireless devices so when Johnny's controller got crossed with Alton's pacemaker, Johnny was unknowingly controlling Alton's pacemaker with every push of the buttons. Once Johnny stops playing the game out of frustration when he loses as he throws his controller onto the ground, Alton dies from cardiac arrest due to irregular heartbeat.
Transcript.
Narrator: Uh-oh... a fat slob.
Johnny: MOM, SHUT UP!!!
Narrator: Alton was a hacker who hacked his own ticker, then a gamer took over and his ticker went quicker. The gamer groaned, but it was Alton... who got owned.
| Hacked Off |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow
"Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow", Way to Die #412, is the second death to be featured in "Stupid is as Stupid Dies", which aired on September 21, 2010.
Plot.
Joan Meikin (Lauren Olipra) is a beautiful free-spirited painter and talented artist who is also a nudist. She paints every day, but she has one big problem. She suffers from an annoying disease known as trichophagia, an obsessive need to ingest hair. For months, she was unable to digest regular food and grows weaker and weaker, and whenever she goes to the bathroom, she vomits and it exits her mouth along with clumps of hair and goes into the toilet. And she doesn't know about her disorder and ignores her problems. Eventually, after Joan eats her own hair, her health deteriorates until she collapses and becomes comatose and she dies from eating hair, sending her to heaven. At the morgue, the coroners find a trichobezoar (ball of hair) clogged within Joan's intestines.
"What's a bezoar?"
Doctor: "It's a...ball of...hair!"
"It's also what killed her."
| Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Half-Offed
"Half-Offed", Way to Die #745, is the first death to be featured in "Death Be a Lady Tonight", which aired on July 25, 2011.
Plot.
Ted was a middle-aged, well-dressed, arrogant executive who was a big shot blowhard who hurt others for fun. On this day, he is filled with impatience and anxiety, because he was late for the airport since his employee forgot to make a wake-up call for him at the hotel. His impatience grew when he had to wait in line for a taxi, while furiously berating his incompetent employee. Minutes later, Ted steals a cab from a woman in front of him. The bellhop notices this and orders the rude man to let the woman take the cab, but Ted, being the entitled man that he is, claims that the ride is rightfully his. While Ted is arguing with the bellhop and pleading his case, he fails to notice a utility truck passing by with a tow line swinging loose. The hook got caught in the cab's trunk as Ted closed it, and the steel cable pins a surprised Ted to the cab. The businessman frantically struggles to get free, but to no avail. The cable tightens around a bewildered and frightened Ted, and slices clean through his portly body, splitting him completely in half with his intestines spilling all over the place.
Transcript.
Ted: What? Okay, that's exactly what the jerk-off in a counting said, and you- you agreed with him?
Narrator: Meet Ted. A big shot blowhard who gets off by making everyone around him miserable.
Ted: You forgot to make the wake-up call for me at the hotel!
Narrator: What Ted lacks in people skills: He makes up for in the patience.
Ted: Oh, great! Now we got to stay in the line for a damn taxi. You know, I can't straight for once. You- you think ahead... and maybe get a car for me.
Narrator: Ted the bully, usually gets what he wants.
Narrator: Or else, he just takes it.
-Bellhop: Sir!! Sir, hold on a minute!<br>
-Ted: Hey! Yeah.
-Ted: Her cab is mine now! I'm late for the airport, I need this cab right now! What are you doing?<br>
-Bellhop: Sir! Sir, come on!
Marc Fogel: On a typical night, 12-hour shift er... the average would be about 30 passengers. The out of the 30 passengers at night, 6 to 8 people would be fighting over the cab, somebody would fist fight and that's kind of an average at night.
-Ted: She can find another cab another minute!<br>
-Bellhop: Have a little respect!
Ted: Get your hands off my cab!
Ted: (Groans)
Narrator: Looks like Ted's gotten himself into a tight squeeze.
Narrator: What Ted didn't see, because he was too busy being a tool.
Ted: I need this cab right now!
Narrator: Was a utility truck, passing a little tow line, swinging loose. The hook got caught in the cab's trunk.
Ted: (Groans)
Narrator: The steel cables have tightened...
Narrator: sliced clean through his body.
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: Bisection injured first to an injury which the bottom half the body separated from the upper half. The through the... mid-section, there is really only one bone, you have to cut through and that's the reternal body at the low of the spine. His bisection injury...
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: would've cause massive hemorrhage from the veins and arteries and the gut. This would've cause almost instant death.
-Ted: ...that's exactly...<br>
-Narrator: Ted was a major douche, who badgered and bullied people he interacted with.
Ted: You think ahead... and maybe get a car for me.
-Bellhop: Sir!! Sir, hold on a minute!<br>
-Narrator: Waiting your turn is for other losers, not him.
Ted: Get your hands off my cab!
Narrator: A nicer person might have offered to share that cab.
Ted: (Groans)
Narrator: But instead, Ted went... halfsies.
Alternative Description.
An ill-tempered businessman tries to steal someone else's cab when he gets hit by a truck carrying a spool of wire which gets caught between the taxi and truck aluminum siding and his body is sliced in two. (Spike TV website)
| Half-Offed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Halo to the Dead
| Halo to the Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hammer Head
"Hammer Head", Way to Die #742, is the fourth death to be featured in "Young, Dumb, and Full of Death", which aired on November 9, 2010.
Plot.
Chester was the school's new janitor at an all-girls preparatory school, but he was secretly an ephebophile. He usually spied on the girls playing field hockey with binoculars and a video camera. When one of the girls made a wild swing that caused the ball to fly off course, Chester managed to dodge it. He was too distracted by filming the field hockey players that he failed to notice a member of the track and field team preparing for a hammer throw. The hammer hit Chester on the right side of his temple, causing immediate skull fracture which tore major blood vessels inside his skull and instant death.
Transcript.
Narrator:
Narrator: Instead of perving out, Chester, the school's new janitor, should've cleaned up his act.
| Hammer Head |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Handi-Crapped (190)
| Handi-Crapped (190) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Handi-Crapped (212)
| Handi-Crapped (212) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Handi-crapped (190)
"Handi-crapped", Way to Die #190, is the first death featured in "", which aired on August 29, 2011.
Plot.
Trevor may look like a handicapped supervising accountant (with those bandages and sitting on a motorized wheelchair), but he faked his injury, and he was suing his company for $3 million. When he went into his office, he gets up from his wheelchair and receives a phone call. Unbeknownst to him, he failed to lock his office door all the way as Trevor's secretary, Sarah, catches him in the act and goes to report him to the company's boss, Harvey. Trevor angrily follows her in his wheelchair all the way to the elevator, threatening to fire her if she ever said one single word to Harvey about his fake injury, but when the elevator door closes as she loses him, his wheelchair pushes it, bashing through, and sends him falling many stories down the shaft, breaking his skull, arms and legs, causing death by massive trauma.
| Handi-crapped (190) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Handi-crapped (212)
"Handi-crapped", Way To Die #212 is the fourth death to be featured on "Dying to Tell the Story" which aired on December 29, 2010.
Plot.
Hank is a arrogant and cowardly surfer who had no problem in parking his convertible in handicapped parking spaces. When he is confronted by Pat (a handicapped Vietnam War veteran who lost his leg), Hank refuses to confront him face to face, opting instead to drive away. The surfboard pivots sideways due to quick acceleration of his car, hits the handicapped sign and severs Hank's head from his spinal cord, killing him instantly and sending him to hell.
"Oh. Bummer, dude."
Goof.
When Hank dies, the horn goes off even though he isn't applying enough force with his head to blow the horn.
Segment Nicknames.
Surfin' Turd (Spike TV)
| Handi-crapped (212) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hang Dunked
"Hang Dunked", Way to Die #284, is the sixth death to be featured in "The End is Weird", which aired on October 19, 2010.
Plot.
An egotistical bully named Rodney White hogs a basketball game. Rodney plays a match with a couple of the players and does a slam dunk after kicking one of the players in the groin and using him like a platform. To rub his feet in the other players faces, he put his head through the basket gloating all his glory until they demanded to continue playing in hopes of putting Rodney in his place. However, as he drops down, his necklace gets caught in the net and acts like a makeshift noose, snapping his neck, and he dies twenty seconds later. Sending this so-called pro-baller and egotistical bully to hell where he deserves.
"Rodney's favorite move was something he called 'The Nutcracker'. The showboating creep hung from the rim, lording it over the others, until...he dropped. And his necklace became a noose."
Transcript.
Narrator: Rodney was a bully on the court who couldn't even jump worth a damn. But at least in the end, he got some great hang time.
| Hang Dunked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hard Balled
"Hard Balled", Way to Die #156, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Dead Wrongs", which aired on September 28, 2010.
Plot.
School jock Brooke is a popular athlete who is part of the school's lacrosse team but is also a notorious bully, known to physically harass anyone he views as inferior (a new student, a geeky chess club member, and a nerdy marching band leader).
On one afternoon, he tries to impress two females during a lacrosse practice and then harasses his victims again. As Brooke gives another shot, he is distracted by the school's popular girl walking by, unaware of the ball as it hit Brooke in the perfect place, causing commotio cordis and leading to his death of arrhythmia, much to the shock of the co-eds and Brooke's lacrosse partner.
Transcript.
Brooke: Douchebag!
Narrator: Some words of advise for a very dead Brooke. Bully for you. What was the word you used?
Brooke: Douchebag!
Narrator: Exactly!
| Hard Balled |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hard Lives, Easy Deaths
Hard Lives, Easy Deaths is the second episode of Season 1 of "1000 Ways To Die". It features six segments, the last of which being an Escaped Death segment. It originally aired on May 21, 2008.
It's the last episode to be narrated by series creator, Thom Beers.
Deaths.
Way to Die #293: Freeze Died.
A man working at a mafia-owned South Philadelphia meat packing company is deliberately locked in a walk-in freezer out of revenge for stealing cuts of meat and getting his employer's 17-year-old granddaughter pregnant, and dies of hypothermia.
Way to Die #713: Dive Bombed.
A group of friends fly themselves home from Cabo San Lucas in a private plane shortly after going scuba diving. At 12,000 ft, they all suffer from decompression sickness and crash, causing the plane to explode and killing everyone aboard.
Way to Die #91: De-Coffinated.
A land dispute between two brothers in Haiti ends with one brother asking a witch doctor to poison the other with tetrodotoxin, causing paralysis. Believed to be dead, the poisoned brother is buried alive, and his corpse is later found by grave robbers, having succumbed to suffocation. Shortly before the brother's death, he tried to claw his way out with his fingers, wearing them down to the bone.
Way to Die #606: Wet Dream.
A man who wants to live like a fish constructs a fish suit out of waterbed material and attempts to use it. The suit is so constricting, however, that he cannot get into the water fast enough, and he dies from heat exhaustion.
Way to Die #112: Fur Burger.
In the 2nd century, one method of execution was wrapping the victim in freshly killed animal skins, tying him to a tree, and leaving him to be eaten alive by whatever carnivores happened to be in the area (a flock of vultures in this case).
Escaped Death #2: Shayna Richardson.
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
| Hard Lives, Easy Deaths |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Harmored Car
"Harmored Car", Way to Die #350, is the first death to be featured in "Dirt Nap", which aired on November 8, 2011.
Plot.
Two dangerous, heavily armed, first-time criminals named Eddie and Tyrone are pulling off their first armored truck heist. They were extremely inexperienced, and when they pounced, they made a few rookie mistakes: 1): the armored car they were robbing was stopped on a busy street and a nearby pedestrian called 911, and 2): they took too long tying up the guards, giving officers plenty of time to respond. A shootout began between police and Eddie and Tyrone. Tyrone opened fire with a semi-automatic assault rifles, while cowardly Eddie decided to hide in the truck, let alone watch all the action. When Eddie stupidly peeks out the back door to watch the action, Tyrone takes a bullet to the chest. The bullet didn't kill Tyrone since he was wearing a Kevlar Bulletproof Vest that was five times stronger than steel, but Eddie wasn't so lucky; when Tyrone took the bullet to the chest, he was sent flying into the door of the truck, breaking Eddie's neck in the process, resulting in his death within a few minutes. Sending the very stupid, heavily armed, failed armored car heisting, first time criminal straight to Hell. When Tyrone took the bullet to the chest, he was incapacitated, at that point, officers then took him into custody, but when they went into the back to pick up Eddie, they find out that he had died.
"The cops took Tyrone prisoner, but got a big surprise when they went to get Eddie."
Transcript.
Tyrone: In the truck!
Narrator: He should have died, but didn't.
Policeman: On your face down!
Narrator: The cops took Tyrone prisoner, but got a big surprise when they went to get Eddie.
Narrator:
Narrator: The botched robbery attempt got Tyrone life in prison. His cowardly partner, Eddie, got a stiffer sentence: death.
| Harmored Car |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Harry He-Done-Y
"Harry He-done-y", Way to Die #14, is the third death to be featured in "The End is Weird", which aired on October 19, 2010.
Plot.
A magician named Harry Houdini proved that he can cheat death by doing a barrage of magic tricks. Houdini first claimed to free himself from a straitjacket. He also claimed to free himself from a chair. When Houdini was at his house, a fan of him walked by. He wanted to find out if the great Houdini was ever discovered. The fan tried to claim Houdini if he was invincible to pain. Houdini accepted it. Then the fan gave Houdini some punches, but the great magician stood strong, seemingly proving the fan right. The fan walked away proud. However, Houdini collapsed nine days later due to septic shock of his ruptured appendix.
"A couple of sharp punches to the mid-section, and the fan walked away satisfied. But those seemingly harmless punches had just set in motion Houdini's death clock."
Transcript.
Narrator: In the 1920s, the highest paid entertainer in all of show in the business was artist named Harry Houdini.
Narrator: A Hungarian immigrant, Houdini wowed audiences around the world by freeing himself from all kinds of death-defying scenarios.
Micah Cover: Harry Houdini was arguably the greatest showman of all time.
Micah Cover: And probably one of the best marketing geniuses...
Micah Cover: Everything he did was an illusion that was crafted specifically to give him as much success in respectability as possible.
Narrator: For stardom can go to one's head. And Houdini was no exception.
Narrator: He frighted on the worship of his fans.
Narrator: And came to believe his own invincibility.
Narrator: And then one day, a fan dropped by to see if the great Houdini was everything he'd hurt.
Narrator: A couple of sharp punches to the mid-section,
Narrator: and the fan walked away satisfied.
Narrator: But those seemingly harmless punches had just set in motion Houdini's death clock.
Narrator: A few days later, after finishing up his world trick, Houdini collapsed onto the stage.
Narrator: He died 2 days later, in the hospital death.
Narrator: Houdini had been suffering from . He thought it was nothing more than a stomachache.
Dr. George Fallieras: Harry died from...overwhelming . He's been...
Dr. George Fallieras: exploded like a all blown balloon, filled with a bunch of possum bacteria. You can punch right into the air that you received, was enough to burst all the contents throughout his . Eventually all these organs would fail. The kidneys, the lungs the heart and then... it's lights out.
Narrator: Houdini should have known, you can escape from just about anything, except...your own fate.
| Harry He-Done-Y |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Harry Houdini
Harry Houdini (; born Erik Weisz, later known as Ehrich Weiss or Harry Weiss; March 24, 1874 – October 31, 1926) was a Hungarian-born American escape artist, illusionist, stunt performer and mysteriarch, noted for his escape acts.
He first attracted notice in vaudeville in the United States and then as "Harry 'Handcuff' Houdini" on a tour of Europe, where he challenged police forces to keep him locked up. Soon he extended his repertoire to include chains, ropes slung from skyscrapers, straitjackets under water, and having to escape from and hold his breath inside a sealed milk can with water in it.
In 1904, thousands watched as he tried to escape from special handcuffs commissioned by London's "Daily Mirror", keeping them in suspense for an hour. Another stunt saw him buried alive and only just able to claw himself to the surface, emerging in a state of near-breakdown. While many suspected that these escapes were faked, Houdini presented himself as the scourge of fake spiritualists. As President of the Society of American Magicians, he was keen to uphold professional standards and expose fraudulent artists. He was also quick to sue anyone who imitated his escape stunts.
Houdini made several movies but quit acting when it failed to bring in money. He was also a keen aviator and aimed to become the first man to fly a powered aircraft in Australia.
| Harry Houdini |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hats All Folks!
"Hats All Folks!", Way to Die #501, is the first death featured in the Season 3 finale "If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You", which aired on January 5, 2011.
Plot.
Barnaby, a hat maker and salesman in the 1800s, took the phrase "Mad as a Hatter" literally, when he wore his own hat and began acting stark-raving mad toward his customers. When Barnaby's first customer arrived, he screamed, and stabbed his own hand. He also made another customer wear a woman's hat before calling him a "swine". Barnaby then slapped his face and sent him out. He even had delusions of seeing his customers act mad themselves, even though they actually weren't. There's actually a reason why Barnaby along with other hatters at the time acted mad. The hatters had glue that contained mercury that was used in felting the hats and when they breathed in the vapors from the boiling glue, it resulted in them suffering from mercury poisoning. In Barnaby's case, his years of exposure to the toxic mercury fumes compromised his nervous system, resulting in severe brain damage, erratic behavior and hallucinations. Not only did he lose his mind and his customers... he also lost his life. Thus, he closed up shop forever. His death shocked an upcoming customer so much that she scurries out of his shop.
"Finally, with his brain fried, his immune system shutting down, and his major organs damaged beyond repair, the mad hatter once known as Barnaby... closed shop. Forever."
Transcript.
Narrator:
Barnaby: SWINE!!
Barnaby: OUT! OUT!
Narrator: Finally, with his brain fried, his immune system shutting down, and his major organs damaged beyond repair, the mad hatter once known as Barnaby... closed shop. Forever.
Female customer: (Screams)
Narrator: For Barnaby, making hats was a living, but the making made him mad. He lost his mind, his customers, and his health. And then... it made him dead.
| Hats All Folks! |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hawksbill sea turtle
| Hawksbill sea turtle |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Heart Beat Down
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<username>Kenny Stewart</username>
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"Heart Beat Down", Way to Die #109, is the fourth death to be featured in "", which aired on October 31, 2011.
Plot.
Charles was a convicted murderer. He recently received an electro-convulsive treatment at the hospital. Later, the nurse finds Charles in a catatonic state. However, he had faked his catatonic state and awakens before beginning his escape attempt.
He briefly tries to strangle the nurse, before going out the door and dropping her on the ground before making a break towards the boundary fence. He tries to open the gate on the fence to no avail, before attempting to climb it. However, the shock treatment disrupted his heart's natural rhythm, causing him to die from a heart attack, sending him straight to Hell, where he belongs.
"Charles was a resilient psychopath, and he was playing possum waiting for the right moment...to escape. He had been faking his catatonic state ever since the shock treatment wore off. With the orderlies hot on his trail, Charles was desperate. But the shock treatment did leave its mark... on his heart."
Transcript.
Doctor: Strap him.
Charles: NOOOOOO!!!!! (GROWLS)
Narrator: It's 1954 and Charles the convicted murderer, is about to get introduced to a popular psychiatric treatment of the times.
Charles: I will kill you!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL!!!!
Narrator: The electro-convulsive therapy. Otherwise known as shock treatment.
Doctor: Administering first dose.
Charles: (GROANS)
Kevin Buckins: Electric shock therapy is a treatment for people who have states of psychosis that are severe an entry the bull another ways. First use in 1930s to induce seizures. Believing that it will set the brain right, reboot the brain. One of the greatest controversies surrounding electric shock therapy's people have claim to lost years of memory of their lives, which is usually recoverable to some extent.
Charles: (Groans)
Narrator: Charles was a resilient psychopath, and he was playing possum.
Nurse: Charles? Charles?
Narrator: Waiting for the right moment...to escape.
Nurse: (Screams for help) Help!!
Charles: STAY BACK! STAY BACK OR YOU'LL DIE!
Narrator: He had been faking his catatonic state ever since the shock treatment wore off.
Charles: If you follow me, I will kill you!!
Narrator: With the orderlies hot on his trail, Charles was desperate.
Narrator: But the shock treatment did leave its mark... on his heart.
Charles: (Groans)
Dr. Boyd Flinders: Electric shock therapy isn't just in the brain, is to the whole body, it's like a mini electrocution. And it'll disrupt the natural rhythm of your heartbeat causing what's known as , lack of coronation of a heartbeat, he had suffered a heart attack, and died.
Narrator: Charles was a bad guy...
Charles: (GROANS)
Narrator: who thought he could beat his shock treatment.
Narrator: But then his heart took a pounding, and then it stopped...
Narrator: beating.
| Heart Beat Down |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Heart On
"Heart On", Way to Die #403, is the sixth and final death featured in "I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)", which aired on April 5, 2009.
Plot.
A mentally unstable/ill pyschpath named Lucas who has never been with a woman before, learns from a magazine that you could even rig a cow heart up to a car battery and use it as a sex toy.
Lucas buys a cow heart from a local slaughterhouse and nicknames it "Bessie", having sex with it after rigging it up to the battery. When it does not work for him, Lucas hooks the cow heart up to a 110-volt wall socket and is electrocuted to death when he tries to have sex with it again, sending the monster called Lucas to Hell where he deserved.
| Heart On |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Heath Smudger
| Heath Smudger |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Heim-Licked
| Heim-Licked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Heim-licked
"Heim-licked", Way to Die #514, is the first death featured in "Death Certificates", which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
Chip is an exercise instructor who blatantly favors women who are skinny and attractive (to the point of feeling them during the exercises), and liked to insult overweight women. One in particular, Patty, had to put up with his arrogant behavior. At one point, she went to eat one of her snack cakes, when Chip belittled her again while eating the cake, much to the disgust of the other women. As Patty left, the foolish instructor began choking on the snack cake, at which the women laughed, thinking that he was faking it.
Desperate, he attempted a D.I.Y. heimlich maneuver, only to bounce off of an exercise ball and impale himself on a sprinkler at the roof of his mouth, but this did not kill him. The force of the impact caused Chip's neck to snap back, breaking the C2 and C3 vertebrae, and severing the spinal cord, killing him instantly.
Transcript.
Narrator: The girls think Chip is joking, but he's really... choking. He tries a do-it-yourself Heimlich maneuver... and nails the landing.
Narrator: Chip got off of making fun of fat people. But then he went from joking, to choking...to croaking.
| Heim-licked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Her Own Damn Fault!!!
"Her Own Damn Fault!!!", Way to Die #556, is the seventh and last death featured in "Death Takes A Vacation", which aired on November 14, 2011.
Plot.
On July 27, 2004, in Chatsworth, California, a lecherous wife named Kimberly invites her husband Dan's boss named Joe and his boss's wife Leah for a game of tennis. When Kimberly publicly tries to seduce Joe, Leah serves a ball that hits Kimberly in the head, stunning her. She stumbles against the hand crank Dan has used to tighten the net with, releasing it so that it strikes Kimberly in the head. The blow leads to her death from a skull fracture and swelling of her brain.
Transcript.
Narrator: Hey guys, here's someone you never wanna find yourself married to.
TV: (Buzzes)
Narrator: A lazy, boozy,
Narrator: and 2-timing hen. Say hello to Kimberly.
Dan: Honey, please...! Please don't mess up for me.
Dan: Please.
Narrator: Her hubby Dan was stupid enough to invite his boss and his wife over for tennis.
Dan: Honey, this is Leah, this is Joe...
Joe: Hi.
Narrator: For Kimberly,
-Kimberly: Hello.<br>
-Joe: Nice to meet you.
Narrator: it was time to let the games begin.
Kimberly: You too play with my husband and we're gonna play together. (Chuckles)
-Dan: Well I guess it's you and me.<br>
-Leah: (Sighs)
Dr. Hernando Chaves: A lot of relationships gets stale. And marriages need infusions of energy and spiciness to help keep them alive and fresh. Females wanna be desired. They wanna feel attractive, they want their mates to put them on a pedestal, make them like the princess and the queens as they are. If her husband's not provided that for her, she may want to go out and see that for somebody else.
Narrator: As the match proceeded...
Narrator: A monkey in heat would've been embarrassed by Kimberly's behavior.
Kimberly: Hold on, you guys.
Narrator: Joe's wife, Leah, said what was on everyone's mind.
Leah: Inappropriate!
Dan: Honey, please!
Kimberly: I'm sorry I have to stretch a little, you know. (Chuckles)
Narrator: Kimberley's too busy flirting to pay attention to the game...
Narrator: Until one of Leah's serves got her attention.
Kimberly: Ah!
Joe: Ow!
Joe: Oh!
Narrator: Before the match, Dan had tightened the net with the hand crank. When the stunned Kimberly staggered over, she accidentally triggered the safety release, and went from flirty... to hurty... to dead.
Eddie Paul: The average tennis net is set about 500 pounds...of tension. She...hit the er... locking mechanism on the rachet. When she did, the 500 pounds force on some of the rachet, with multiplied over the span of the crank links increased to 2000 pounds of force, that swinging around a pretty good speed, nailed on the side of the head and reamplified that force, killed her in the spot.
Kimberly: You too play with my husband...
Narrator: Kimberly was an embarrassment to her husband and everyone else.
Narrator: But then, fate had an ace in the hole.
Leah: Inappropriate!
Narrator: And it became game...
Narrator: set...
Kimberly: Ah!
Narrator: match made in Hell.
| Her Own Damn Fault!!! |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Herod the Terrible
| Herod the Terrible |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hertz So Good
"Hertz So Good", Way to Die #121, is the second death to be featured in "The End is Weird", which aired on October 19, 2010.
Plot.
Tom and Tammy were your average couple in love. Like couples, they went to the movies, took long walks, went to dinner, but unlike other couples, these exhibitionists make love in public. One day, Tom got a Prince Albert piercing to add punch to his and Tammy's relationship. While making love on a power Transformer, the voltage hits Tom in the piercings, causing him to be electrocuted to death. Tammy, while shocked that her boyfriend is dead, is lucky because she felt a little more than a tingle and her feet weren't on the ground during the electrocution.
""One afternoon, the El Dante lovebirds decided to "get it on" on a power Transformer. In general, not a good idea. More specially, it was a really bad idea because this transformer was old and defective. As soon as Prince Albert met Lord Transformer...Master Tom had a premature electrocution.""
| Hertz So Good |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hi-Jack Offed
"Hi-Jack Offed", Way to Die #754 is the sixth death to be featured in "Tweets From the Dead" which aired on March 26, 2012.
Plot.
Percy, a hijacker looking to hijack a vehicle hitchhike on the road. When a truck driver named Johnny and his boss, a former female boxer named Dallas, stop to help him, Percy pulls out a gun. Threatening to shoot them, Percy forces them out of the truck. Dallas shoved him and he falls backward onto the truck's air brake hose, which enters his rectum, and knobs through his ribs, making Percy into a "human flesh balloon". Percy screams in terror and pain, and collapses onto the road, as both Dallas and Johnny take a few steps back. Eventually, enough air fills into Percy, causing him to explode, killing him almost instantly. Johnny and Dallas scream in horror upon seeing Percy's scattered remains, not helped by the fact that some of Percy's blood splatters onto them and their truck!
Transcript.
Narrator: Percy was a small-time crook who tried to steal a big rig. He never could get his life together and now...he's just...scattered!
| Hi-Jack Offed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hillary Snuffed
"Hillary Snuffed", Way to Die #203, is the second death featured in "Young, Dumb, and Full of Death", which aired on November 9, 2010.
Plot.
A former reality TV star named Hillary, under the delusion that she's still famous, snorts cocaine at a party using a platinum coke straw. A man attempts to take her picture as she's snorting cocaine, and treats the privacy invasion as a paparazzi attack. She calls in her bodyguard, who snatches the camera from the man and punches him in the face. The man falls on top of Hillary as she's doing a line, and the coke straw gets lodged in her nose, puncturing her frontal lobe and causing a fatal brain hemorrhage.
| Hillary Snuffed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Him-Paled
"Him-Paled", Way to Die #237, is the third death to be featured in "Death, The New Black", which aired on July 18, 2011.
Plot.
A jackass pervert named Duncan uses his camera phone to get upskirt photos of women. While standing behind a woman (who is wearing a skirt with no underwear) at a street side coffee vendor, a construction worker see Duncan attempt to take a photo and advert the act, the woman freaks out, and the construction worker standing next to her goes to beat up the pervert verbally.
Meanwhile, another construction worker 8 floors up trips over a sandbag and lets go of a reinforcement bar, which falls from the sky and impales the pervert from his shoulder through his side, impaling his heart, killing him instantly.
Transcript.
Narrator: There's a lot of degenerates in this world, Duncan definitely qualifies.
Narrator: His perv specialty: upskirting.
Thomas J. Peepus: The reason why I take the upskirt photos because the internet is just not as personal, it's very impersonal, you can always see it whenever you want, and when you're...in person and you see something like that with like a cell phone camera or something, it's just a bigger thrill... you go to like a farmer's market or something like that, you can get a good shot because...people aren't really noticing anything... and maybe one out of ten girls...aren't wearing panties and you can get that shot.
Narrator: Duncan had the def touch of master upskirter.
Narrator: But he wasn't always able to get his shot.
Narrator: On this day, a coffee wagon by a construction site, it was fertile ground. But he had yet to catch the holy grail of upskirting: the no-panties bullseye. But then a woman standing in line looked promising. Why? No pantyline.
Narrator: Duncan was so caught up stalking his naked prey, he failed to notice the brawny construction worker.
Construction Worker: What the hell are you doing?!!
-Duncan: Man, I didn't do anything.<br>
-Woman: Oh my god!
-Narrator: He was about to get a major ass-whoopin'.<br>
-Duncan: But I didn't do anything!
Construction Worker: You's a sick bastard!
Duncan: I didn't do anything.
Construction Worker: The hell!
Duncan: Gimme a break, man.
Narrator: ...until fate stepped in...
Duncan: What are you talking abou-
Narrator: and took him out.
Narrator: A work crew repairing a roof, 8 floors above provided the perfect death formula. One clumsy construction worker...
Narrator: plus one piece of rebar,
Narrator: and the world is minus one, perfect.
Dr. Rob Shapiro: The rebar which fell from...30 to 40 feet... would have entered our victim at about 20 to 25 mph. Going through his left chest, it would have gone through his lung, the heart, through his diaphragm and out his side. Pretty much killing him instantly.
Narrator: Up-skirting is a low-down dirty way to get your rocks off.
Construction Worker: What the hell are you doing?!!
-Duncan: Man, I didn't do anything.<br>
-Woman: Oh my god!
Narrator: Hey Duncan,
Duncan: What are you talking abou-
Narrator: this is why the internet was invented... loser!
| Him-Paled |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hole 'n Done
"Hole 'n Done", Way to Die #279, is the second death featured in "Think Globally, Die Locally", which aired on March 19, 2012.
Plot.
Martin Manser, an elderly golfer who failed to make it as a professional, competes against Hazel Atkins in the finals of a mini golf championship. Martin soon goes into a streak of bad luck, and ends up beating beaten by the much sweeter Hazel, who wins the trophy along with the $1,000 prize from the championship. In a fit of rage, Martin throws his putter at the scoreboard. The putter breaks, and ricochets back, causing the sharp end to impale Martin in the chest, piercing his heart and killing him instantly.
| Hole 'n Done |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hole N' Done
| Hole N' Done |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Homie's Dead
"Homie's Dead", Way to Die #182, is the second death to be featured in "", which aired on February 8, 2012.
Plot.
As Brad and Tracey slept in their bed, they open the window trying to let the warm air out of their room. Little did they know was that open windows can give a burglar such as Vince the chance to break in and steal things. While they are both asleep, Vince sneaks in and begins to plunder the house. When he plays with an object that makes a sound, he wakes up Tracey, who in turn, wakes Brad up. Brad pulls his gun out of the drawer and quietly exits the bedroom to investigate. But when he checked, Tracey loudly asks what's going on, prompting Brad to tell her to be quiet. However, the volume of Tracey's speaking alerts Vince, who grabs a baseball bat out of his bag and hits Brad on the head, killing him and sending him to heaven. Terrified, she tries in vain to resuscitate Brad after he dies, but it was no use; her husband was a goner.
Vince threatens to kill Tracey if she takes a step towards him, not allowing her to continue CPR. Eventually, Vince finishes robbing the house and is about to escape, when suddenly Brad lifts himself up off the floor, exiting heaven and returning to earth alive. It turns out that while Tracey was performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation with Brad, her hands pushing against his chest made his heart beat again, thanks to which, Brad regained consciousness, a rare form of circulation called Lazarus Syndrome.
Stepping out of the window door, Brad has revived and confronts the thief. The shock of seeing the man he supposedly killed causes Vince to lose his grip on the rope, fall off the balcony and land on the sidewalk. The impact breaks the back of his skull like an egg, killing him. When Tracey saw her husband alive, she felt relieved, knowing that he survived and that the crisis was over.
| Homie's Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Homie-Cide
| Homie-Cide |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Homie-cide
"Homie-cide", Way to Die #448, is the fifth death to be featured in "If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You", which aired on January 5, 2011.
Plot.
Enrique is a wannabe movie actor who joins a Hispanic gang to get into character for an upcoming low-budget gangster film. He survives getting beat up to see if he can take it. After surviving his final initiation and being accepted, he is struck by a cadaver thrown off an overpass by a rival gang, causing a skull fracture and fatal brain hemorrhaging.
Transcript.
Narrator: Enrique was wishing they used a stunt double for this scene. But he toughed it out. Even if he didn't get the part in the movie, he'd always have the locos to fall back on. But then a plot twist nobody saw coming.
Narrator: Aspiring actor Enrique wanted a part so bad, he immersed himself in gang life, but it was just pretend until that big O.G. in the sky yelled Cut!
Narrator: That's a wrap, homie!
| Homie-cide |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hoop Screams
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| Hoop Screams |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hose-Whipped
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<username>Dark Arcanine 33</username>
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<comment>Dark Arcanine 33 moved page Hose-Whipped to Hose Whipped</comment>
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| Hose-Whipped |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hose Whipped
"Hose Whipped", Way to Die #241, is the second death featured in "Deadliest Kitsch", which aired on October 24, 2011.
Plot.
A group of protesting women get hosed by flunky police officer Lenny, who was too dumb to pass the police exams. The women getting hosed protest against animal cruelty at a local pharmaceutical company. However, Lenny couldn't handle the water pressure, and he lost his grip of the hose. After whipping back and forth at over 30 MPH (48 km/h), the hose lethally goes out of control, tripping Lenny and then slamming into his skull with its brass nozzle, with death becoming instantaneous.
Transcript.
Narrator: What do we have here? Animal contest?
Narrator: No. More like animal cruelty protest.
Narrator: This was a perfect opportunity for Lenny to air out his cruel streak. But the tubby loser couldn't handle the 1200 pounds per square inch of water pressure blasting out of the nozzle. Whipping back and forth at over 30 miles per hour, the out of control hose became a lethal weapon. First, it took Lenny's legs out, and then it took...him out.
Narrator: Lenny was a frustrated rent-a-cop who thought he was a bad ass. All it took was some protesters, a hose, and a shattered skull to put him in his place...a very dead place.
Trivia.
This death is similar to Cop Out, as both victims were corrupt police officials and both died from brain and skull injuries.
| Hose Whipped |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hot-Air Buffoon
| Hot-Air Buffoon |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hot Blooded
| Hot Blooded |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hot Shot Part D'uh
"Hot Shot Part D'uh", Way to Die #513, is the fourth death to be featured in "The One About Dumb People Dying", which aired on February 8, 2011.
Plot.
Charlie and Jevetta. a bottom-feeding thieving couple, return to their hotel room after robbing luggage from an airport. Jevetta had recently stolen some jewelry and clothing, and Charlie takes pictures of her wearing the jewelry. As Jevetta goes to the bathroom to try on one of the dresses and put on make-up, Charlie finds a bottle of what he thinks is imported rum. He drinks the liquid, but it speeds up his heart so much that it explodes, and he dies on the bed, overheated from a massive cardiac arrest. Jevetta tries to wake him up, but it's no use.
What Charlie didn't know that the "rum" was actually liquid cocaine he inadvertently stole from a drug smuggler. Charlie drank 3 ounces of pure cocaine with an extra kick of kerosene mixed in.
| Hot Shot Part D'uh |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Huffington Toast
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"Huffington Toast", Way to Die #98, is the fourth death to be featured in "Dead to Rights", which aired on February 17, 2010.
Plot.
This death is seen through the lens of a security camera. Three paint huffers are getting high from a paint can. Then they find even stronger toxic chemicals, not knowing they were industrial-grade solvents. One huffer asks for another to pour the contents on him so he can huff the smell directly from his clothes and stay high. However, it removes all the heat from his body. So, he asks them to warm him up with a match. However, the match ignites the solvent, engulfing him in flames and he eventually dies of fourth-degree burns and protein loss.
Transcript.
Narrator: While tagging the warehouse wall with graffiti, they came across a box of unlabeled liquids, which were later determined to be industrial grade solvents. Their fumes are far more powerful than aerosol paint cans.
Narrator: The result of the investigation? The other two accomplices were charged for manslaughter. The third huffer? He went straight to the morgue.
| Huffington Toast |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hummus Among Us
"Hummus Among Us", Way to Die #267, is the second death featured in It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World, which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
Two Libyan rebels, Habib and Hadal, who were rejoicing in their country's newfound independence, met up with two Al-Qaeda operatives. When they got inside the shop, Habib and Hadal offered to sell a cache of weapons, government stockpiles and hummus. With the two Al-Qaeda operatives itching to get back to killing infidels, Habib and Hadal figured to seize that chance. Habib initially offers everything and a shot gun for free at a price of $5,000, but the Al-Qaeda operatives demanded a price of $2,000. The negotiations went on, and then Habib offered everything at just $3,500 plus two barrels of hummus, but the Al-Qaeda operatives refuse to pay more than $3,000. So, Hadal has Habib fire an automatic rifle as a demonstration, who aims the gun at an image of Gaddafi, but when he pulled the trigger, he lost control of it and it started firing randomly while the others fall to the ground to avoid it, with some bullets making holes in a hummus barrel.
When Habib manages to stop the gun, Hadal, who is recovering from the ground, gets mad, starts hitting him and snatches the rifle away from him, and then, everyone noticed something wrong with the hummus barrel. Habib thought the hummus was smoking and Hadal tried to assure the Al-Qaeda operatives that they had plenty of hummus, but one of the Al-Qaeda operatives told him that it was gas, not hummus. But it wasn't just any gas, it was sarin and mustard gas, both of which are lethal. The contents spew out and fill the shop with mustard and sarin gas, killing everyone as the contents are entering their noses, forming blisters on their skins, attacking their nervous systems, and causing them to lose their muscle control, leaving them to urinate, defecate and suffocate.
Transcript.
Al Queda Operative #2: No hummus. This is gas.
Narrator: Habib and Hadal were a couple of gun runners who thought they'd make a killing. Instead, they shot up a hummus barrel, and got some bad gas.
| Hummus Among Us |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hurry Up and Die
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Hurry Up and Die.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 31.
Originally aired October 26, 2010.
Title reference: Spoofs the Stereophonics' song "".
-- This is the Original Episode --
Drunk Die-er.
Way to Die #957
On September 9, 2009, in St. Louis, MO. A drunk driver, who was just released from prison for vehicular manslaughter, crashes his car and is mistakenly pronounced dead at the scene. When authorities find out he is an organ donor, they bring him to the hospital to remove his organs while he is still alive. The doctors never find out he is not dead yet and take out his heart, finally causing his death.
Alt names - Early Harvest
Jersey Gore.
Way to Die #523
On August 14, 2008, in Newark, NJ. An obnoxious man known as Nicky "The Predicament" works on his car with extremely loud death metal music playing while his female neighbor constantly and angrily tells him to turn it down. He slides out from under his car down the driveway and into the path of a street sweeper he did not see or hear coming. He gets crushed under the wheels and is shredded by the bristles, leaving a bloody mess on the road.
Alt names - Clean Sweep
Cast Offed.
Way to Die #132
On October 3, 1996, in Purvis, MS. While using a log splitter to prepare firewood for upcoming cold weather, a drunk Southern man gets his arm caught in the machine and breaks it. He decides to save his welfare money by creating a cast and putting it on himself, but he fails to set the bone properly and makes the cast too tight. When he cuts it off a month later, globules of bone marrow leak into his bloodstream and form a fat embolism in his heart, killing him.
Alt names - Boned Redneck
Lesboned.
Way to Die #412 (Note: This is the fifth death to have this number)
On June 9, 2008, in Parker Strip, AZ. A bisexual real estate agent notorious for having sex with her clients seduces a wealthy, lesbian prospective customer. After a tour of the house, pool, and eventually the laundry room, they strip and have sex on top of the dryer. Their movements cause its fuel line to come loose and the room fills with natural gas. When the water heater turns on automatically, it ignites the gas and sets off an explosion that kills both women.
Alt names - Burning Loins
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Lazy Laudromat".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Tapped Out.
Way to Die #597
On June 16, 2005, in Rockford, IL. Two aspiring amateur wrestlers with dreams of going pro assault each other with increasingly insane objects, including fluorescent light bulbs. During practice, one wrestler slashes his partner in the chest with a weed whacker. While the partner who got slashed in the chest survives, the first wrestler collapses and dies from toxic shock caused by inhaling the mercury vapor from the broken bulbs and particles of mercury that entered his blood through earlier wounds.
Alt names - Rasslers
Mail Order Fried.
Way to Die #284 (Note: This is the second death to have this number)
On August 14, 2002, in Olathe, KA. An obnoxious mailman who has a second job as the target at the local carnival's dunk tank insults the customers with embarrassing secrets he culls from their mail. Over time, balls that miss the target repeatedly hit the fuse box for the tank's water heater and damage the wiring until it makes contact with the water. When one customer (a former professional baseball player who spent two years playing the game in Japan) hits the target, the mailman falls into the tank and is electrocuted.
Alt names - Shock and Awww
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Fecal Attraction.
Way to Die #330
On September 17, 2002, in Provo, UT. A Keith Richards-esque rock star and notorious drug addict freaks out when he runs out of drugs and his band gets stranded in a dry town, until one of his roadies suggests that he try jenkem. When he is no longer able to defecate, he finds a port-a-potty, sticks his head in, and gets high, but suffers from a brownout and loses consciousness. Because his heads still in the toilet, he asphyxiates from lack of oxygen and excess of methane gas to his hemoglobin.
Alt names - Toilet Victimized
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Hurry Up and Die |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hydrate-Dead
| Hydrate-Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hydrate-dead
"Hydrate-dead", Way to Die #529, is the sixth death featured in "Star Death: The Last Generation", which aired February 8, 2012.
Plot.
A competitive, perfectionist clothing entrepreneur named Christine constantly drinks large amounts of water and runs for exercise. While trying to out-race her rival, Billie, from several past marathons, she collapses and dies due to swelling of the brain caused by water intoxication.
Transcript.
Narrator: Christine was an A-type who thought life was a game. She definitely won the water drinking competition, but lost in the life event.
| Hydrate-dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hydrau-Licked
| Hydrau-Licked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hydrau-licked
"Hydrau-licked", Way To Die #414, is the first death to be featured on "Cure for the Common Death, Part II" which aired on December 15, 2010.
Plot.
Jesse was a low-rider, meaning he had a low-riding car and competing in low-riding competitions. He was pretty good at it too, but, his only problem was he would get insanely jealous if somebody made eyes at his girlfriend, Pinki. On this day, Jesse was competing against another low-rider, when he caught him looking at Pinki. In a jealous rage, Jesse forgets to screw in a bolt that keeps the hydraulic spring connected to his car. At the end of the match, Jesse wins. However, his car then rears up to an almost vertical angle, so when it comes down, the spring shoots out from under the car. It hits Jesse in the chest and ultimately knocks him right underneath the car. The 2-ton car jumps up and down on his chest and head, crushing him in an instant and also killing him instantly. Sending this blowhard low rider to hell. A terrible accident, all because of an unscrewed bolt and it was his own fault. Pinki was horrified that the wheels crushed his rib cage and fractured his skull, bleeding into his brain.
"His car reared up in victory, but when it came down..."
Transcript.
Narrator: His car reared up in victory, but when it came down...
Narrator: Jesse was a little guy with a hot chick and a cool car. But he overheated and wound up... beyond repair.
Pinki: Oh my god!
| Hydrau-licked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Hydro-Co-Done
"Hydro-Co-Done", Way To Die #157, is the fifth death to be featured in "Dead to Rights", which aired on February 17, 2010.
Plot.
A couple named Joshua and Sophia decide to pop a couple of painkillers and drink champagne in a hot tub. They were too intoxicated to notice their tub's thermostat was broken. It kept slowly gaining temperature and the couple eventually died of their .
Transcript.
Narrator: We come upon the strange and grizzly scene: A young couple in the prime of their life, lying dead in their hot tub. It'll later determined they were boiled alive.
Joshua: Champagne...
Sophia: Oh...
Narrator: These two loved the good life.
Joshua: And lobster.
Sophia: Oh...!
Narrator: They also enjoyed the high life.
Narrator: They would swallow a mouthful of painkillers,
Narrator: climb into the hot tub,
Sophia: (Giggles)
Joshua: (Laughs)
Narrator: pop a bottle of bubbly,
Joshua & Sophia: (Laugh of joy)
Narrator: and drift away,
Narrator: numb, dumb, and full of cum-fort. They were playing with fire. The rising water temperature was magnifying the effect of the booze and drugs.
Joshua: Do you feel it, baby?
Sophia: (Laughs)
Dr. Kim Henderson: The that metabolize drugs in your body are mean to function at the certain temperature and that's body temperature. Core body temperature increases enzymes, they remove...
Dr. Kim Henderson: drugs and alcohol from your body don't function as well. And so you end up getting a higher... level of drug in your body.
Sophia: Is this too hot in here?
Narrator: Things still might turned out okay,
Narrator: except for a broken thermostat. At 110 degrees is as hot as hot tub should ever get. But would nothing to keep it in check, the temperature kept climbing. All they had to do was get out, but they were too damn wasted.
Joshua: I feel good...
Narrator: By the time the water hit 150 degrees,
Narrator: they were already suffering from first-degree burns. When the temperature reached 175, tissue damaging second-degree burns set in.
Narrator: Soon after, they went into shock.
Dr. Joel Teplinsky: means that your body doesn't have enough blood pressure, because the fluid levels low, the heart doesn't work, goes to the shock.
Narrator: Drugs,
Joshua & Sophia: (Laugh of joy)
Narrator: alcohol
Narrator: and a broken switch created a proving deadly storm.
Joshua: (Echoes) Do you feel it, baby?
Narrator: When their bodies were finally discovered, there was nothing left... but stoned soup.
| Hydro-Co-Done |
fandom.1000waystodie | # I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
"I'll Sleep When I'm Dead", Way to Die #992, is the fifth death to be featured in "Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever", which aired on August 22, 2011.
Plot.
A man named James suffers from fatal familial insomnia. One night, he decides to take a drive in order to clear his head, but accidentally hits and kills a pedestrian crossing the street since he can't focus well due to his very bad fatigue. James continues to drive until he gets back home and washes away all the blood from his car. James' guilty conscience only makes his insomnia worse. Instead of turning to the police, he checks into a sleep clinic. Unable to sleep due to hallucinations of his victim's face, he lies awake without sleep for two months and dies from a massive stroke and a heart attack, thus sending him to Hell, and after he died, the doctor comes by and asks him if he can hear him, unaware that he was dead.
"Night after night, he'd lay awake in his bed hallucinating...the stranger he killed in every face he saw."
| I'll Sleep When I'm Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # I-Boned
"i-Boned", Way to Die #327, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Grave Errors", which aired on March 2, 2011.
Plot.
A woman named Janice (Brooke Hasalton) seems to intentionally annoy everyone by talking on her cell phone no matter where she was at, even at the movies. Even if Janice was threatened with a gun, she wouldn't stop being such a nuisance.
Suddenly, something killed her, and it was... Her own phone. As her phone continually heated up the electrolyte battery fluid inside the phone, it caused thermal bubbling up and the phone overheated and exploded in her ear. Shrapnel from the exploded phone went through her ear and into her brain and like her phone she died from hemorrhaging. In other words, she and her phone were dead. Sending this nuisance of a woman straight to Hell, where she won't be occupied by her phone.
"Nothing was going to stop her except...her own phone."
Transcript.
Narrator:
Janice: Stop with the "shhh"! It's very annoying.
Narrator: Nothing was going to stop her except...her own phone.
Janice: Ha-ha.
Narrator: Minutes later, she was just like her phone... dead.
| I-Boned |
fandom.1000waystodie | # I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)
I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up).
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 12.
Originally aired April 5, 2009.
Title reference: Popular quote from the 1999 movie "The Sixth Sense". (it might also be a reference for Way to Die #302)
Note: This is the third episode not to feature the death of a female.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Water Logged.
Way to Die #447
On August 12, 2007, at The Reservoir, in New River, AZ. A college student jumps from a cliff into a lake and hits the water at an angle and speed that causes water to rush into his rectum, bursting his large intestine. He passes out from massive internal bleeding and pain and drowns to his death.
Funny Boned.
Way to Die #302
On January 19, 1997, at Lindsey's Pub, in Mesa, AZ. An easily amused man dies of cardiac arrest after laughing for 36 hours straight over an unknown (and unmentioned) punchline to a joke, sending him to Heaven.
Alt names - Good to the Last Laugh
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Bowed Out.
Way to Die #72
On November 21, 1995, at Owanda Steel Corp., in Kobe, Japan. A nervous Japanese man and his future boss bow to each other. They accidentally bump heads, which causes an unknown aneurysm inside the would-be employee's brain to rupture, killing him from a stroke.
You're So Vein.
Way to Die #277
On July 5, 2007, at Statesvillee Prison, in Albuquerque, NM. An inmate being executed by lethal injection initially does not react to the chemicals that were injected, because the strap restraining his arm is acting as a tourniquet. When his restraints are undone, he confronts the witnesses. But before he can do anything, the poison takes effect, finally killing him.
Doggie Style.
Way to Die #85
On April 2, 2001, at La Paz Liquor Store, in Jasper, TN. A drunken would-be shoplifter flees a convenience store with just a hot dog. He shoves the whole thing down his throat and chokes to death on it.
Heart On.
Way to Die #403
On October 19, 2005, at Hillendale Ranch, in Tooele County, UT. A mentally unstable man attaches jumper cables to a cow heart he bought from a slaughterhouse and tries to use it as a sex toy. At first, he attached the cow heart to a car battery, but when it did not work for him, he tried hooking it up to a 110-volt wall socket, and he gets electrocuted.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Escape Death Segment 12.
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # I Spy A Dead Girl
| I Spy A Dead Girl |
fandom.1000waystodie | # I Spy A Dead Guy
"I Spy A Dead Guy", Way to Die #519, is the fifth death featured in "Death Certificates", which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
Jimmy Dugan, a former CIA agent who went into business for himself, now works undercover to steal company secrets. In his newest mission, he was hired to steal computer files from a rival software company. While waiting for his chance, Jimmy was looking at a computer room where a man is working there while he is brooming the floor, and soon after the man leaves the room, he heads to the computer to proceed to his mission.
While stealing the files, a security guard busts him, asking him what is he doing in the room. Jimmy, due to his nature that he's able to escape when he's caught, stops stealing the files and leaves the computer, and to escape, he runs into a storage closet and climbs inside of a garbage chute while the security guard counts 1 to 3 for him to come out with his hands up, ending up inside of an incinerator.
Once the incinerator activates, he screams in pain as the flames with the temperature of above 850 °C/1,560 °F immediately burn through his skin, muscles and bones, boil and evaporate all of his blood cells, and shut down all of his organ systems, cremating him.
Transcript.
Narrator: Jimmy Dugan has no idea where he is.
Jimmy: Oh no...
Narrator: The only thing he knows, is he doesn't wanna be here.
Jimmy: This can't be good...
Narrator: He's right about that.
Jimmy: What's that noise?!
Narrator: That noise, is the last thing he hears, before he dies.
Jimmy: (Screams)
Narrator: But his mission was about to become... impossible.
Narrator: Dugan was about to go from ex-spook... to exed out.
Narrator: Dugan chose to use the skills he learned as a spy for a life of crime. In the end, he came in from the cold...
Narrator: but couldn't take the heat.
| I Spy A Dead Guy |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Ich Bin Ein Stoner
"Ich Bin Ein Stoner", Way to Die #500, is the first death to be featured in "Eat, Pray, Die", which aired on August 8, 2011.
Plot.
Friedrich is a witch hunter who had gone mad after eating grain with ergot in it. Going into a frenzy, he runs out and causes amok, causing people to think he is a sorcerer who had either shown his true colors, or accidentally put a hex on himself. Ironically, he had just accused a young girl for being a witch. In his village, the people were extremely superstitious. He would prick the accused person's mole with a needle. If it bled, they are humans, if not, they will be executed by stoning. The girl received the latter when her mole didn't bleed. Unlucky for Friedrich, his mole didn't bleed. therefore the superstitious people stone him and a rock to the head and gut causes his demise, putting an end to his witch hunts permanently.
Transcript.
Friedrich: (Screams)
Narrator: Back in 1384, this was one way to have a bad day.
Friedrich: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: Friedrich has become a raving lunatic after...
Narrator: ...eating grain that was infected with a hallucinatory fungus called ergot.
Friedrich: (SCREAMS)
Dr. Faryl Reingold: Ergot is a fungal disease that affects grasses, um, mainly rye. It contains 12 alkaloids that are derived from lysergic acid diethylamide, which is also known as LSD.
-Dr. Faryl Reingold: You're experiencing things like hallucinations, there's also a physical sensation of burning. There's been references to the appearance of ergot and its effects, going as far back as the bible.<br>
-Friedrich: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: This was the dark ages. A time of ignorance and superstition.
Friedrich: (Screams)
Narrator: When somebody lost his mind like Friedrich, it was assumed to be the work of the devil.
Friedrich: "Eine hexe!" (A witch!)
Narrator: He was branded a witch.
Narrator: Ironically, Friedrich, as the head of his village, recently accused a young girl of being a witch.
Young Girl: "Nein, ich bin keine Hexe...!" (No, I'm not a witch...!)
Narrator: And condemned her to death by stoning.
Narrator: "Nein! Nein, bitte!" (No! No, please!)
Narrator: He came to his conclusion by using a popular witch-hunting test at the time. He'd (did) find a mole on the accused body and prick it with a needle. If bled, you'll be pure. If not...
Young Girl: Ah!
Narrator: Start praying...
Friedrich: "Sie ist eine Hexe!" (She's a witch!) "We loss nie! Stein!" (Take her! Stone her!)
Young Girl: "Nein, ich bin keine Hexe!!!" (No, I'm not a witch!!!)
Friedrich: (Screams)
Narrator: The villagers used Friedrich science on Friedrich. Moles are simply benign growths of discolored skin. Whether they bleed or not is just random luck. Unlucky for Friedrich, his mole was bloodless.
Villager: "Er ist eine Hexe!" (He's a witch!)
Villager: "Esse maila!" (Witch!)
Narrator: Friedrich went from being high...to getting stoned. The brutal pounding broke bones and caused internal bleeding. But it was rock to the head, that did him in.
Dr. Steven Burstein: The rocks are thrown with tremendous momentum... at the subject. Striking the body in all locations.
CGI Human: (Moans)
Dr. Steven Burstein: But it's the blow to the head, destroying or compressing the brain tissue. That ultimately causes... the demise of the subject.
Narrator: In the Dark Ages, people lived in fear of what they didn't understand...
Young Girl: "Nein, ich bin keine Hexe...!" (No, I'm not a witch...!)
Narrator: Friedrich condemned others to death based on superstition.
Young Girl: Ah!
Friedrich: "Stein!" (Stone her!)
Young Girl: "Nein, ich bin keine Hexe!!!" (No, I'm not a witch!!!)
Narrator: Until... he got a taste...
Friedrich: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: of his own medicine.
Alternative Name.
Also known as "Witch Hunt" on the Spike TV website
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on Spike TV's website:
"An ambitious German cleric accusing a young woman of witchcraft is suddenly accused himself, and is subsequently stoned to death."
| Ich Bin Ein Stoner |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Ichiboned
"Ichiboned", Way to Die #1, is the second death to be featured in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.
Plot.
A young Japanese couple named Hiroto and Sakura have been married for seven years and are very much in love with each other. However, they have never engaged in sexual activity, as both are too nervous to do so. One day, the two finally decide to set their anxieties aside and consummate their marriage. That evening, Hiroto returns home back from work, and the two take a drink of some plum wine. Gaining courage from consuming the alcohol, the couple take it to the bedroom. This time, there is no holding back, as Hiroto and Sakura experienced orgasms during their first and final occasion of sexual intercourse in their lives. After their simultaneous climax, they succumb to heart attacks and die peacefully in their sleep. Sending them to heaven.
Transcript.
Hiroto: "たぶ...多分、今日なら... (Tabu...Tabun, kyou nara...)" (Ma...Maybe, today...)
Narrator: Meet Hiroto and Sakura.
Narrator: Their love for each other was without equal. But they had a big problem: After 7 years of marriage, there was still unable to consummate their union. And it's not like they didn't try, they did. Hundreds of times.
Narrator: But it always ended the same way: Both of them on the edge of their bed, on the verge of passing out, from .
Narrator: The intensity of their feeling frighten the young couple. And they were always pull back and hold off sex for another day.
Dr. Ava Cadell: When I have couples come to see me for counseling from the press cultures, I always stop them off... with... very gentle foreplay.
Dr. Ava Cadell: And so within 6 weeks, they are able to have sexual intercourse. But it leads up to it, it doesn't all happen at once.
Hiroto: "乾杯。(Kanpai.)" (Cheers.)
Sakura: "乾杯。(Kanpai.)" (Cheers.) (Giggles)
Narrator: Then one day, Hiroto came home from work. Determine to seal the deal with his sweet Sakura. After a bottle of plum wine, they were ready to give it another shot.
Hiroto: "よし、行こう。(Yoshi, ikou.)" (Okay, let's go.)
Narrator: This time, there was no holding back. Locked together as one, they were heading to the promise land.
Narrator: Sadly, it was a case of too much, too soon. The young couple locked eyes, then passed out, dead, in their lover's bed from heart attacks.
Dr. Ava Cadell: Not having sex for years "can" have a negative effect on the heart, because the heart is not used to it. You know, you have to build up your stamina.
Narrator: It might have been their special love had only a one-way door to ecstasy. Because Hiroto and Sakura, hit the bullseye. The big O, and died, never to return from their simultaneous orgasmic bliss. Tragic? Maybe. But of all the 1000 Ways to Die,
Narrator: this one gets our highest ranking. Ichiban. Number One.
| Ichiboned |
fandom.1000waystodie | # If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You
If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 38.
Originally aired January 5, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the answering machine greetings.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Note: On Pluto TV, this is the final episode in the streaming service, as it loops through Seasons 1, 2, & 3.
Hats All Folks!.
Way to Die #501
On December 12, 1849, in Danbury, CT. A hat maker's constant exposure to mercury (which he uses to felt hats) not only drives him to insanity, but destroys his internal organs, causes metalicizing of the blood stream, destruction of the brain and death.
Alt names - Mad Hatter
Tone Death.
Way to Die #937
On October 17, 2009, in Brooklyn, New York. An I-Dose dealer uses military subsonic equipment to amplify the hallucinogenic effects of his music for a new I-Dose file called "Satan's Jackhammer" and ends up dying from sonic pressure.
Alt names - Over-I-Dose
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Caulk Blocked.
Way to Die #877
On April 25, 1998, in New York, NY. A wannabe hip-hop queen and aspiring songwriter gets butt implants to get the attention of a male rapper who prefers women with big butts (and has dedicated a hit song to those kind of women). However, the surgeon she hired was a fraud, and her butt implants were made of common bathroom caulk instead of medical-grade silicone. The syringe the surgeon used accidentally hit an artery and sent the caulk into her circulatory system where it clogged her heart and led to cardiac arrest.
Alt names - Ass Full Of Caulk
Deaf Jammed.
Way to Die #130
On October 19, 2003, in Detroit, MI. A car thief who targets women gets his windpipe crushed and the blood supply to his brain cut off after his deaf target rolls up her car window with his head still stuck in the window.
Alt names - Wind-Owned
Homie-Cide.
Way to Die #448
On July 31, 2004, in East L.A., CA. A wannabe actor joins a Hispanic gang to get into character for an upcoming low-budget gang film. After surviving his final initiation and being accepted, he is struck by a cadaver thrown off an overpass by a rival gang, causing a skull fracture and fatal brain hemorrhaging.
Alt names - Drive-By Corpsing
OMG! SUV! R.I.P..
Way to Die #320
On July 15, 2007, in Burbank, CA. A con artist specializing in filing frivolous lawsuits deliberately breaks his leg while trying to get hit by a blonde on her cell phone driving an SUV. She pulls over to help and finds him resting against the rear bumper of a car parked in front of her. When she accidentally knocks her SUV into neutral after getting back in to grab her cell phone, the car rolls forward and pins the man in between the two bumpers, crushing him to death.
Alt names - Squeeze Play
Dead-dy Dearest.
Way to Die #172
On May 25, 1994, in Sandusky, OH. An extremely overprotective father and former Army soldier scares his daughter and her boyfriend by firing a gun at her boyfriend after suspecting that the two are having sex. The father then remorselessly explains to his enraged daughter that the whole thing was a prank and that the gun is loaded with blanks. The man demonstrates by aiming the gun at his head and firing. Ironically, the man dies from getting shot in the head by the force of the blank hitting him in his temple.
Alt names - Point Blank
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Implo-dead
"Implo-dead", Way to Die #503, is the seventh death to be featured in "Death Puts On a Dunce Cap", which aired on November 2, 2010.
Plot.
Homicidal crack addicts Darnell and Anita are a duo of wanted criminals due to a string of murders and robberies they committed to feed their addiction. In order to evade the law, they use one of the secluded rooms of an old abandoned building as their hideout and drug den, where they lived for five days.
One day, unknown to them, the building was scheduled for demolition. Darnell and Anita hide in a shadowy corner in silence when they hear the calls and footsteps of a construction worker making a final check to ensure no person was inside the building.
As soon as the construction worker finished his round, the two resume their celebration. However, the crews activate the dynamite, at which point the falling building crushes them to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: But this time, they were about to experience more of a rush than they ever imagined.
Narrator: Darnell and Anita were hard criminals who love to crack. Too bad, because this time their habit didn't just kill them, it crushed.
| Implo-dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Incu-bation
| Incu-bation |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Info-Pain-Ment
"Info-Pain-Ment", Way to Die #185, is the fifth death featured in "Crying Over Spilled Blood", which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
A workout fanatic named Gunther creates his own line of home fitness equipment made out of bamboo. Gunther has hired some old buddies to film the commercial, but gets frustrated with them and when his "bamboo" barbell snaps, Gunther storms off, leaving the cameraman and his other buddy alone. They then discover a "bamboo" exercise bench, one of them decides to mess with it, yelling in a silly caveman voice: "Gunther likes the muscles! Gunther want more muscles!!" much to the cameraman's amusement." "Not long afterwards, Gunther comes back and asks them if they were making fun of him and if he looks funny. The tension of the exercise bench causes a piece of bamboo to fly off and impale Gunther through the ear and brain, killing him, much to the shock to his friends.
Transcript.
Narrator: While Gunther goes off to calm down, Harold and Lloyd check out his next creation.
Narrator: Gunther knew bamboo does have the tensile strength of steel, but he didn't account for the all-conquering power of stupidity. BAM! BOO! You're... dead.
| Info-Pain-Ment |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Injecti-cide
"Injecti-cide", Way To Die #930, is the fifth death to be featured in "Death Puts On a Dunce Cap", which aired on November 2, 2010.
Plot.
Cydra is an elderly, former supermodel and beauty queen who wants to regain her looks. Her gay best friend named Kyle, brings in his plastic surgeon boyfriend, Ravi, to help. Cydra was pleased with the results and wanted more, but botox was too expensive. While looking on the internet for less expensive treatment, she finds an article saying that injecting corn oil into the face is much more effective and she decides to use corn oil as a substitute for the expensive injections.
After a trip to the supermarket, Cydra goes ahead and injects the oil into her face to keep her skin looking fresh and beautiful. Even though the constant injections are actually disfiguring her face, she believes she's becoming more beautiful. Eventually, the oil makes her bleed out from her eyes and lips and causes cell death in her heart and lungs, and eventually, death to herself.
Transcript.
Narrator: If that sounds stupid, that's because it is.
Narrator: In a desperate attempt to regain lost beauty, Cydra discovered the new price of oil: death.
| Injecti-cide |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Inquisi-Torn
"Inquisi-Torn", Way to Die #919, is the sixth death to be featured in "Death On A Stick", which aired on August 3, 2010.
Plot.
Father Gomez was an inventor who designed torture devices. He was denounced as a heretic during the inquisition. His life began to take a turn for the danger zone because he also invented something he called the Spanish donkey also known as the wooden horse. It was essentially a board with a sharp wedge standing on four legs. The victim, in this case, Father Gomez; would straddle the board like a horse and have cannonballs tied to their legs and left to sit on it as the wedge and the combined weight of the cannonballs and their body tore their pelvis. Father Gomez was the first victim to be placed on his own device and slowly dies from blood loss.
| Inquisi-Torn |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Isle of the Dead
| Isle of the Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World
It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 73.
Originally aired July 15, 2012.
Title reference: Spoofs the title of the 1963 comedy film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World".
Note: Most of the death titles appear to be in all caps.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Signed Out.
Way to Die #522
On June 19, 2006, in Columbus, OH. When a lazy man's wife announces that she is divorcing him, he repeatedly injures himself to make it look like he was abused by her. Paramedics arrive and put him on a stretcher as police confront his wife, but it rolls down a hill until it hits a rock. The man is launched off the stretcher and lands on top of a curved road sign, impaling himself through the stomach.
Alt names - Long Day's Gurney
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Suicide Signs"
Hummus Among Us.
Way to Die #267
On October 21, 2011, in Bengahzi, Lybia. A black-market arms dealer offers to sell a cache of weapons to a terrorist group. While firing a rifle as a demonstration, he hits a barrel of sarin and mustard gas (mislabeled as containing hummus), and the contents spew out and kills everyone in the room.
Alt names - Gas Attack
Tread Marked.
Way to Die #160
On March 5, 2006, in Vernal, UT. An outlaw is pulled over by a cop for D.U.I, but wrestles the cop's gun away and prepares to shoot him. Up the road, a junk scavenger finds a truck tire and tries to pull it onto the bed of his pickup. He drops it, and it rolls down the road and knocks the outlaw away; the man dies from multiple injuries sustained during both this hit and his impact with the ground.
Alt names - Tire Straits
Piss Offed.
Way to Die #90
On January 21, 2003, in Keystone, CO. A ski instructor with a urine fetish seduces his students and persuades one of them to urinate on him during sex. The bed's worn out electric blanket shorts out as a result and electrocutes them both.
Alt names - Whiz Bang
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Ski Scold"
Waste Dead.
Way to Die #135
On September 10, 2010, in North Perkin, IL. A stripper and her planking-obsessed midget boyfriend stumble upon a playground, which is the perfect place for him to plank. While he poses on one end of the seesaw, a block of blue ice that was dropped from a passing plane lands on the other end and catapults the midget up into the air. He lands on the top crossbar of the swing set with enough force to cause fatal internal bleeding in his chest.
Alt names - Plank Spanked
Rubbed Out.
Way to Die #431
On July 12, 2002, in Great Falls, VA. After being sneezed on by a homeless man who rummaged through his trash and drank his discarded cup of coffee, a germaphobe gives himself a bath in a tub filled with isopropyl alcohol. Enough of it absorbs through his skin and into his bloodstream to induce lethal alcohol poisoning.
Alt names - Alcohol Bath
Killer Tan.
Way to Die #263
On August 15, 2009, in Ocean City, NJ. A pair of obnoxious 20-something New Jerseyites are at a salon in their quest to get the perfect tan. After spraying themselves by hand with DHA, they climb into a stand-up spray tanning booth and light a cigarette. The spark from the lighter ignites the DHA fumes in the booth. It explodes, killing them both.
Alt names - Jersey Score
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Tan of Terror"
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Jablowni
"Jablowni", Way To Die #309, is the fourth death to be featured in "Death, The New Black", which aired on July 18, 2011.
Plot.
An arrogant twenty-something bodybuilder and "jabroni" named Sal orders his beleaguered and stupid girlfriend to inflate a pool raft. After she gets fed up to inflate, he inflates the raft with flammable tire sealant and throws it in the pool.
Once he climbs in, he claims himself a "Freakin' Genius" and lowers his arm and the cigarette makes contact with the raft, and it explodes due to the ashes popping the raft and igniting the tire sealant. The explosion was so intense it ends up cracking his skull, causing brain hemorrhage and his death. Mandy and her friends are shock to see Sal's dead body floating in the pool.
| Jablowni |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Jack 'n' Croak'd
| Jack 'n' Croak'd |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Jack 'n Croaked
"Jack 'n Croaked, Way to Die #177, is the fourth death to be featured in "Bringing in the Dead", which aired on January 6, 2010.
Plot.
Jasper (Danny Ezpone) was a famous Jack Daniel or Moonshiner. Jasper has been a moonshiner for many's a year. Not only Jasper sold moonshine, he tested some of his own moonshine. After a while, he forgets that in his storeroom is a safe. In it was where he sold his secret formula. However, Jasper was the only one who knew the code and testing his own product got him so drunk he can't remember the combination. Frustrated, Jasper gave his safe the boot. However, Jasper did not open his safe but he did open a large gash on his big toe, which later became infected. After two weeks, on Jasper's death bed, his assistant (Bill Oberst Jr.) came in to give Jasper one last drink. Jasper took the last drink and right before he died of septic shock, his final words were, "Batch number 7 sure was the one." He is now sent to heaven, where he can make more moonshines.
Following this, the assistant, covers Jasper's body.
Transcript.
Jasper: Batch number 7 sure was the one.
Narrator: Jasper died the way he lived. Sipping on the good stuff.
| Jack 'n Croaked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Jaejin Eum
Jaejin Eum is a restaurant employees throughout the . He recently interviewed in Tenta-killed.
| Jaejin Eum |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Jake N' Baked
Jake N' Baked, Way to Die #518, is the third death to be featured in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.
Plot.
Jake Basso has the ideal personality everyone expects from a metal worker: punctual, friendly and thorough, but there was one problem he had: he was a narcoleptic. Off and on, he sleeps anywhere--the bathroom, his home couch, even at his work place. One day, Jake falls asleep in a curing oven. Not knowing that Jake is in the oven, Manny, a friend and co-worker, turns on the oven at 600 degrees Fahrenheit for 12 hours, baking Jake alive. After 12 hours have passed, the co-worker opens the oven and is horrified to see Jake burnt to a crisp, sending him to heaven.
Transcript.
Narrator:
Narrator:
Manny: (SCREAMS)
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan:
Narrator: Twelve hours of extreme temperatures left Jake extra crispy.
| Jake N' Baked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Jason Romero
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<revision>
<parentid>60958</parentid>
<timestamp>2023-02-13T09:42:12Z</timestamp>
<contributor>
<username>Kenny Stewart</username>
</contributor>
<minor/>
<comment>/* See also */</comment>
<origin>62641</origin>
<model>wikitext</model>
<format>text/x-wiki</format>
Jason Romero is an EMT Paramedic was featured in "1000 Ways to Die" TV Show who explained or interviewed about these deaths, his outfit looks identical to David Svoboda. He is also a medic.
| Jason Romero |
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