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You are keen, my lord, you are keen.
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You are witty, my lord, and sharp.
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It would cost you a groaning to take off mine edge.
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You could take my edge off, but doing it might make you moan.
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Still better and worse.
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Your jokes get better, even as your manners get worse.
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So you must take your husbands. Begin, murderer. Pox, leave thy damnable faces, and begin. Come, œThe croaking raven doth bellow for revenge
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œFor better, for worse thats the vow you take when you take a husband.
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Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing, Confederate season, else no creature seeing,
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Evil thoughts, willing hands, the perfect poison, and the opportunity to act. The darkness of the night protects me: no one can see me.
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Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected, With Hecates ban thrice blasted, thrice infected, Thy natural magic and dire property On wholesome life usurp immediately.
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You foul mixture of deadly weeds, which Hecate has cursed and infected, use your deadly properties to steal away health and life.
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He poisons him i th garden for s estate. His names Gonzago. The story is extant, and writ in choice Italian. You shall see anon how the murderer gets the love of Gonzagos wife.
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He poisons the king in the garden to get the kingdom. The kings name is Gonzago. The original story was written in Italian. Youll see shortly how the murderer wins the love of Gonzagos wife.
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The king rises.
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The king is standing up.
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What, frighted with false fire?
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What is he scared of a gun firing a blank?
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How fares my lord?
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My lord, how are you feeling?
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Give oer the play.
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Stop the play.
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Give me some light, away!
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Turn on the lights. Im leaving!
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Lights, lights, lights!
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Lights, lights, lights!
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Why, let the stricken deer go weep, The hart ungalld play. For some must watch while some must sleep. So runs the world away.
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Let the deer thats been shot go weep alone, while the uninjured deer plays. For some must watch while others must sleep thats the way of the world.
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Half a share.
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Theyd probably give you half a share of the company.
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A whole one, I.
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A whole share for me.
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For thou dost know, O Damon dear, This realm dismantled was Of Jove himself. And now reigns here A very, very pajock.
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For you know, my dearest Damon, that this kingdom lost Its Jove-like king. And now who rules? A big, big peacock.
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O good Horatio, Ill take the ghosts word for a thousand pound. Didst perceive?
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Oh, Horatio. Id wager a thousand dollars the ghost spoke the truth. Did you see?
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Very well, my lord.
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Very well, my lord.
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Upon the talk of the poisoning?
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When the actors mentioned the poison?
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I did very well note him.
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I watched him closely.
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Ah ha! Come, some music! Come, the recorders!
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Aha! Hey, some music please! Play your flutes!
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For if the king like not the comedy, Why then, belike, he likes it not, perdy.
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For if the king does not like the play, then, thats it he does not like it, I say.
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Come, some music!
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Come on now, music!
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Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.
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My lord, might I have a word with you?
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Sir, a whole history.
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You can have a whole story.
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The king, sir
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The king, sir
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Ay, sir, what of him?
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Yes, what about him?
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Is in his retirement marvelous distempered.
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Hes in his chambers now, and very upset.
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With drink, sir?
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He has an upset stomach from drinking too much?
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No, my lord, with choler.
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No, my lord, hes angry.
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Your wisdom should show itself more richer to signify this to the doctor. For, for me to put him to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into far more choler.
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Youd be a lot smarter if you told this to a doctor. If I were to treat him, he would only end up angrier.
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Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and start not so wildly from my affair.
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My lord, please try to make sense and not to veer on such wild tangents from the point of my question.
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I am tame, sir. Pronounce.
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Ill behave, sir. Speak.
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The queen your mother, in most great affliction of spirit, hath sent me to you.
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The queen your mother, who is extremely unhappy, has sent me to you.
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You are welcome.
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You are very welcome here.
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Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right breed.
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No, my lord, your polite words dont make any sense in this situation.
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If it shall please you to make me a wholesome answer, I will do your mothers commandment. If not, your pardon and my return shall be the end of my business.
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If youd be so kind as to give me a real answer, Ill carry out your mothers request. If not, Ill say goodbye and thatll be the end of my business.
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Sir, I cannot.
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Sir, I cant.
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What, my lord?
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Cant what, my lord?
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Make you a wholesome answer. My wits diseased. But, sir, such answer as I can make, you shall command. Or, rather, as you say, my mother. Therefore no more but to the matter. My mother, you say
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Give you a real answer. My mind is not right. But Ill try to give the best answer I can to you or rather, to my mother. Therefore, lets get to the point. My mother, you say
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Then thus she says: your behavior hath struck her into amazement and admiration.
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She says that your behavior has shocked astonished her.
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O wonderful son that can so stonish a mother! But is there no sequel at the heels of this mothers admiration? Impart.
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Oh, what a wonderful son I am to be able to impress my mother! But what are the details of my mothers admiration? Explain.
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She desires to speak with you in her closet ere you go to bed.
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She wants to speak with you in her bedroom before you go to bed.
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We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have you any further trade with us?
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I will obey, as if she were ten times my mother. Have you any other business with me?
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My lord, you once did love me.
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My lord, you once liked me.
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And do still, by these pickers and stealers.
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And I still do, I swear by my hands.
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Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? You do surely bar the door upon your own liberty if you deny your griefs to your friend.
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My lord, whats the cause of your anger? Youre locking yourself into a prison by refusing to reveal your problems to your friends.
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Sir, I lack advancement.
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Sir, I have no future prospects.
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How can that be, when you have the voice of the king himself for your succession in Denmark?
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How can that be, when the king himself has proclaimed you the heir to the Danish throne?
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Ay, sir, but œWhile the grass grows The proverb is something musty Oh, the recorders! Let me see one.
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Yes, but as the proverb goes, œWhile the grass grows¦ Though that is an old, stale proverb. Oh, the recorders! Let me see one.
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O my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too unmannerly.
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Oh, my lord, if Im being too bold, its only because I care about you too much to show good manners.
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I do not well understand that. Will you play upon this pipe?
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I dont understand you. Will you play this recorder?
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My lord, I cannot.
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My lord, I cant.
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I pray you.
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Please.
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Believe me, I cannot.
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Believe me, I cant.
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I do beseech you.
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I beg you.
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I know no touch of it, my lord.
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I dont know how, my lord.
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It is as easy as lying. Govern these ventages with your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.
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Its as easy as lying. Cover these holes with your fingers and thumb and blow into it, and it will produce the most beautiful music. See, here are the holes.
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But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony. I have not the skill.
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But I cant play any kind of song or melody. I dont have the skill.
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Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me. You would seem to know my stops. You would pluck out the heart of my mystery. You would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass.
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Well, look at that, how you treat me like such a fool. You keep trying to play me as if you knew exactly where to put your fingers to tease out my mystery playing the full scale of all my notes.
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And there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak? ˜Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?
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There is so much music in this little instrument, and yet you cant make it speak? By God, do you think Im easier to play than a recorder?
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Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.
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Call me whatever instrument you want even though you try to push my buttons, you cant play me.
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God bless you, sir.
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God bless you, sir.
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My lord, the queen would speak with you, and presently.
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My lord, the queen would like to speak with you right away.
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Do you see yonder cloud thats almost in shape of a camel?
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Do you see the cloud over there that looks almost like a camel?
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By th mass, and tis like a camel indeed.
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By God, it does look like a camel.
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Methinks it is like a weasel.
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To me it looks like a weasel.
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It is backed like a weasel.
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Its back is like a weasels.
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Or like a whale.
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Or like a whale.
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Very like a whale.
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Very much like a whale.
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Then I will come to my mother by and by. They fool me to the top of my bent. I will come by and by.
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Ill come to see my mother soon.
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I will say so.
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Ill tell her that.
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œBy and by is easily said.
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Its easy enough to say œsoon.
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Leave me, friends.
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Leave me alone, my friends.
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˜Tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world.
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Its now the time of night when witches roam, when graveyards open and the stench of hell breathes sickness into the world.
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Now could I drink hot blood And do such bitter business as the bitter day Would quake to look on. Soft, now to my mother.
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Now I could drink hot blood and do things so terrible it would make people tremble the next day. But wait, I must now go to see my mother.
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O heart, lose not thy nature, let not ever The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom. Let me be cruel, not unnatural.
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Oh, my heart, do not lose your humanity, dont let yourself become like Nero . Let me be cruel, but not inhuman.
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I will speak daggers to her but use none. My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites. How in my words somever she be shent, To give them seals never, my soul, consent!
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Ill speak to her as sharply as a dagger, but not use a dagger. Though my words will condemn her to hell, my soul must never make that condemnation into reality by letting me kill her.
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I like him not, nor stands it safe with us To let his madness range. Therefore prepare you. I your commission will forthwith dispatch, And he to England shall along with you.
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I dont like it. Its not safe to let his madness rage all over the place, so get ready. Im sending you to England on a diplomatic mission, and Hamlet will go with you.
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The terms of our estate may not endure Hazard so dangerous as doth hourly grow Out of his lunacies.
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My duty as a king does not allow me to let such a dangerous man as Hamlet to run loose, especially as hes getting crazier each hour.
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We will ourselves provide.
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Well get ourselves ready.
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Most holy and religious fear it is To keep those many, many bodies safe That live and feed upon your majesty.
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Its a sacred duty to protect all of those people whose lives depend on you, your Majesty.
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The single and peculiar life is bound With all the strength and armor of the mind To keep itself from noyance, but much more That spirit upon whose weal depend and rest The lives of many.
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Each person tries to avoid injury, with the full effort of his or her mind. But it is even more important to protect that person upon whose health the entire nation depends.
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The cease of majesty Dies not alone, but, like a gulf, doth draw Whats near it with it.
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A king does not die alone. Instead, like a whirlpool, he sucks down all that is near.
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It is a massy wheel Fixed on the summit of the highest mount, To whose huge spokes ten thousand lesser things Are mortised and adjoined,
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A king is like a huge wheel on the top of the highest mountain, with a thousand smaller things attached to its spokes.
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which, when it falls, Each small annexment, petty consequence, Attends the boisterous ruin.
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When that wheel rolls down the mountain, everything attached goes down with it, spinning wildly into ruin.
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Never alone Did the king sigh, but with a general groan.
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A king never sighs alone; everyone else always groans with him.
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Arm you, I pray you, to this speedy voyage. For we will fetters put upon this fear, Which now goes too free-footed.
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Please, prepare yourselves for this trip. Well put chains on this danger thats now running free.
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We will haste us.
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We will hurry.
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My lord, hes going to his mothers closet. Behind the arras Ill convey myself To hear the process. Ill warrant shell tax him home.
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My lord, Hamlets going to his mothers room. Ill hide behind the tapestry to listen in. I bet shell let him have it.
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And, as you said (and wisely was it said) ˜Tis meet that some more audience than a mother Since nature makes them partial should oerhear The speech, of vantage.
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And as you said (and you said it wisely), its good to have someone other than a mother listening to what he says since, as a mother, she naturally loves him.
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Fare you well, my liege. Ill call upon you ere you go to bed And tell you what I know.
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Goodbye, my lord. Ill come to see you before you go to bed, and tell you what Ive learned.
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Thanks, dear my lord.
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Thanks, my dear lord.
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Oh, my offence is rank. It smells to heaven. It hath the primal eldest curse upon t, A brothers murder. Pray can I not. Though inclination be as sharp as will, My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent,
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Oh, my crime is foul. It stinks all the way to heaven. It is the oldest , and worst, of all crimes: a brothers murder. I cant pray. Though I badly want to pray, my guilt is stronger than my hope to pray.
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And, like a man to double business bound, I stand in pause where I shall first begin, And both neglect. What if this cursd hand Were thicker than itself with brothers blood? Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens To wash it white as snow?
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And like a person with two things he has to do at the same time I stand paralyzed, unsure which to start first, and thus neglect them both. Even if this cursed hand of mine is covered with my brothers blood, isnt there enough rain in sweet heaven to wash it white as snow?
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Whereto serves mercy But to confront the visage of offence? And whats in prayer but this twofold force, To be forestalld ere we come to fall Or pardoned being down? Then Ill look up.
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Whats the purpose of Gods mercy if not to forgive the sinner? And doesnt prayer have these two powers: to stop us from sinning before we do, and to offer forgiveness when weve sinned? So Ill pray.
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My fault is past. But oh, what form of prayer Can serve my turn, œForgive me my foul murder? That cannot be, since I am still possessed Of those effects for which I did the murder: My crown, mine own ambition, and my queen.
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My sin is in the past. But, oh, what prayer can possibly give me what I want: œForgive me for my awful murder? That wont work, since I still have all the things I gained by committing the murder: my crown the object of my ambition and my queen.
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May one be pardoned and retain th offense? In the corrupted currents of this world Offenses gilded hand may shove by justice, And oft tis seen the wicked prize itself Buys out the law. But tis not so above.
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Is it possible to be forgiven and keep what you got from the crime? In this corrupt world, criminals can use the wealth they get from their crime to shove justice aside by bribing officers of the law. But thats not how it is heaven.
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There is no shuffling. There the action lies In his true nature, and we ourselves compelled, Even to the teeth and forehead of our faults, To give in evidence. What then? What rests?
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You cant hide from the law up there. There, every action is judged strictly on its merits, and everyone must confront their sins face-to-face. What then? What remains for me to do?
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