bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "(not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It worked!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, she Rach, not it, she.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im not so sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, I am losing my mind.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yep.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yep, can you believe it?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah actually we dont. (Ross walks off)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didnt even do anything wrong.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(turns back) What! (Angrily) You didnt do anything wrong?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I said I didnt technically.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) \"accidentally\" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) \"accidentally\" proposed to Rachel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know I shouldve. (Makes quote marks again.) \"Im sorry.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not using it right, Joe.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Im gonna go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, look, I dont know what else to do. I said Im sorry!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im not gonna hit you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No I dont.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A little bit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Little bit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(excited) A little bit more.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, hit me", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hit me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hit me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joe Im not kidding", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) Hit me, hit me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(shouts) Hit me! Hit me!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You ducked!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im sorry! It was a reflex!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, this really hurts!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is the matter with you?!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) \"Oops.\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Try feeding her again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I already fed her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, thats why I said again!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enters) Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, you guys, just stay here, Im gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Im kinda part of this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I knew I should have married Chandler.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay whats up", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah (smiles).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Who says that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "People whove never ever been to Paris.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Excuse me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The Sooner State, whatever that is.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, so how is it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I broke my thumb.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You, you want me to help you with that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just Ross!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its pretty, Okay date of birth?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know my birthday.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure, May...tember.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "October 18th.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Occupation? Dinosaurs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually Im a palian Dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, Rachel I guess.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just ah just put roommate.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont think that we are.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But you two were supposed to be together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah thats what she said.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So I dont wanna be just anybody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And youre Okay with that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, for what its worth, with Rachel I dont think youll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) \"anybody.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(makes quote marks) \"Thanks.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! How long has she been crying?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "About a week and a half.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach, try holding her a different way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Have I gone deaf?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You must be a fireball in bed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are the official baby crier stopper!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes I am!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre never leaving the apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Say what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay so listen Im gonna go lay down.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering, loudly) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh so there cant be any yelling.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Were moving to Tulsa", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(loudly) What!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what I really really want?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What, Rach?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(smiles) Right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No its really okay Monica!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know, ah, Ive been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, its not my fault. Its a natural instinct.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monday?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How long do you have to go for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They said it could be up to a year.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A year?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Do you have to go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We were gonna go see the Jets!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't believe you guys are moving.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I call their apartment!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Laughs)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uhuh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look at you all grown up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Done. Oh good, really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs) Poophack... (Laughs)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah... All right, well that rules out Lana Titweiller", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Enters) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I've got good news!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's great! How?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. I can't be away from you for that long.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, you said that without gagging!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! (They high-five.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dr. Wiener.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, what was it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hiccups.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Enters) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, give me something. What's his name?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mike.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mike? Okay! What's his last name?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Excuse me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know what she's talking about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why don't you go see Dr. Gettleman?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross said he died.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He saw a therapist?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why? What was it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That I was going to eat him.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "MIKE!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Atta boy!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, look...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Laughs) From school.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Mike, 'attorney at law'!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's so sweet. Find anything?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Slim Pickings.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nothing, huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'Slim Pickings'...That is so cheesy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "'So Cheesy' also has an opening.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thanks doctor.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you not know each other?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm out of here (She leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Good night!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're right. (Pause) Maybe I shouldn't go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How far outside?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Manhattan.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think you should take the job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How was the pediatrician?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You promised you wouldn't say anything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He's a brilliant diagnostician!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why did you go along with that?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Prove it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uhuh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Walks In)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at this. My two best friends!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "With the circus? He's behind the elephant.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I am a single parent.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, I helped you find Waldo!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Enters) Oh good, you haven't left yet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where have you been?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Promise to call me when you land.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course I will call you. I love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you too. (They kiss)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Awww. (They hug) Bye!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye honey. (They hug)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love you so much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know that too. (They kiss)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can I talk now?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He had to board.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There isn't that's what I'm saying. (All happy)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god you're right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry I didn't catch.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh Ross Geller", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "do you have a compact in your purse?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(goes to cry) No", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "you look great.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "how come?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "didn't till just now.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "hot not hot (she turns around) Hot!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(turns round) gesundheit", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "really, great, did I actually ask you?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "so how'd the date go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So he hasn't called?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "now I feel terrible this is all my fault.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We are a rare breed.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "do you have any cake?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(laughs) No", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Damn super cuts!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis--vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It worked!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, she Rach, not it, she.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im not so sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, I am losing my mind.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yep.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yep, can you believe it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah actually we dont. (Ross walks off)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didnt even do anything wrong.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(turns back) What! (Angrily) You didnt do anything wrong?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I said I didnt technically.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) \"accidentally\" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) \"accidentally\" proposed to Rachel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know I shouldve. (Makes quote marks again.) \"Im sorry.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not using it right, Joe.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Im gonna go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, look, I dont know what else to do. I said Im sorry!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im not gonna hit you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No I dont.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A little bit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Little bit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(excited) A little bit more.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, hit me", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hit me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, give me the bag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hit me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joe Im not kidding", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) Hit me, hit me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(shouts) Hit me! Hit me!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You ducked!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im sorry! It was a reflex!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, this really hurts!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is the matter with you?!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) \"Oops.\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Try feeding her again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I already fed her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, thats why I said again!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enters) Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, you guys, just stay here, Im gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Im kinda part of this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I knew I should have married Chandler.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay whats up", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah (smiles).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Who says that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "People whove never ever been to Paris.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Excuse me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The Sooner State, whatever that is.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, so how is it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I broke my thumb.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You, you want me to help you with that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just Ross!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its pretty, Okay date of birth?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know my birthday.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure, May...tember.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "October 18th.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Occupation? Dinosaurs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually Im a palian Dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, Rachel I guess.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just ah just put roommate.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont think that we are.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But you two were supposed to be together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah thats what she said.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So I dont wanna be just anybody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And youre Okay with that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, for what its worth, with Rachel I dont think youll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) \"anybody.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(makes quote marks) \"Thanks.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! How long has she been crying?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "About a week and a half.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach, try holding her a different way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Have I gone deaf?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You must be a fireball in bed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are the official baby crier stopper!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes I am!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre never leaving the apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Say what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay so listen Im gonna go lay down.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering, loudly) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh so there cant be any yelling.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Were moving to Tulsa", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(loudly) What!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what I really really want?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What, Rach?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(smiles) Right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No its really okay Monica!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know, ah, Ive been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, its not my fault. Its a natural instinct.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monday?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How long do you have to go for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They said it could be up to a year.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A year?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Do you have to go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We were gonna go see the Jets!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't believe you guys are moving.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I call their apartment!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Laughs)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uhuh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look at you all grown up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Done. Oh good, really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs) Poophack... (Laughs)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah... All right, well that rules out Lana Titweiller", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Enters) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I've got good news!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's great! How?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. I can't be away from you for that long.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, you said that without gagging!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! (They high-five.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dr. Wiener.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, what was it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hiccups.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Enters) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, give me something. What's his name?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mike.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mike? Okay! What's his last name?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Excuse me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know what she's talking about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why don't you go see Dr. Gettleman?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross said he died.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He saw a therapist?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why? What was it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That I was going to eat him.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "MIKE!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Atta boy!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, look...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Laughs) From school.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Mike, 'attorney at law'!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's so sweet. Find anything?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Slim Pickings.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nothing, huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'Slim Pickings'...That is so cheesy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "'So Cheesy' also has an opening.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thanks doctor.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you not know each other?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm out of here (She leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Good night!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're right. (Pause) Maybe I shouldn't go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How far outside?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Manhattan.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think you should take the job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How was the pediatrician?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You promised you wouldn't say anything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He's a brilliant diagnostician!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Sure.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why did you go along with that?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Prove it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uhuh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Walks In)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at this. My two best friends!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "With the circus? He's behind the elephant.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I am a single parent.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, I helped you find Waldo!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Enters) Oh good, you haven't left yet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where have you been?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Promise to call me when you land.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course I will call you. I love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you too. (They kiss)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Awww. (They hug) Bye!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye honey. (They hug)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love you so much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know that too. (They kiss)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can I talk now?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He had to board.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There isn't that's what I'm saying. (All happy)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god you're right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry I didn't catch.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh Ross Geller", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "do you have a compact in your purse?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(goes to cry) No", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "you look great.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "how come?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "didn't till just now.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "hot not hot (she turns around) Hot!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(turns round) gesundheit", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "really, great, did I actually ask you?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "so how'd the date go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So he hasn't called?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "now I feel terrible this is all my fault.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We are a rare breed.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "do you have any cake?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(laughs) No", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Damn super cuts!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis--vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.", "role": "assistant" } ]