bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "WHAT THAT'S A REAL NAME!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view porn.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok honey. that was close.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nooooooooo!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yeah I didn't disguise that very well did i.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(enters) Hey", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sits down) Hi", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "what, how do we know, we never slept with you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "and who's fault is that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "It's open.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! (She dances around with happiness)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "WHAT!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "WHAT! WHY?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good yeah just be honest with him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll get it", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "ok", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How could you not remember that we slept together?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I dunno!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": ".and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "ok I can't do this.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "so you don't think I'm a total freak", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi honey I'm home!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh it was great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Chandler looking confused) Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "does what always have to be sharks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "let ME be a part of this!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "no they don't", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh hey you guys, I couldnt get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thursday? But thats Halloween.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "[Its just] So spooky, thats all.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Its my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think its a little to soon to show my true colors.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Rachel!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all havent been together the six of us in such a long time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you talking about? Were all together right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Um, Mon, Chandlers not here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, dear god!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Good morning everyone, its nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(laughs) Well, dont believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, thats true. Alright, lets get started, by take a look at last quarters figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I cant remember why. (to everyone", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Alright, lolook. I dont smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, its fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? Thats almost rude, that Im not.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(loud) Ken, please! No, I cant, I cant smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cigarette)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(from outside) Trick or treat! (Its obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(opening the door) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, and treat it is. (Monicas breasts.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hmhmm. (ties up)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my ??? outfit that cant contain my breasts.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is not, what Im wearing. Im ovulating and Chandlers gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys wont be late for my dinner, will you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. Well probably be the first ones there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting Chandler.) Heyhey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, dont people know, youre not allowed to smoke in public spaces?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You smoked!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! I just happened tdo a lot trivias about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound and the breasts of a Greek goddess.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(embarrassed) Im gonna go. (leaves to stairs)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(naughty in doorway) Welcome home. Ive missed you. join me in the bedroom?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No thanks, Im good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(comes over) O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so Im feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You dont need a shower.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Huhdid you smoke?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two packaa carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But its over, I made a decision, Im not gonna smoke anymore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gets a pack out of his jacket)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But, those are for you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Alright, well just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, shes stuck in terrible traffic.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well thats now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, what were the other two?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, lets see. The first one is", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, its the first time, were leaving the baby and hey, I know how hard it is for you, but but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. Shes great with kids.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She is?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ya.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about (?) Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, you only heard Monicas side of that. That little fatso was a terror.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ish. I just dont think I can bear it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why dont you, why dont you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then Ill meet you there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-A.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You need to learn some new slang.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im serious. Cmon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What Oh! (points inside)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [cant get in there] (?), the babys fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a\|Tell your] story walking. (?)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was just going to say that I left my keys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Where is everyone? Theyre forty minutes late.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, u-uch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What about me, he? Only had one lunch today.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, theyre comin, were waitin right here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joseph! (to waiter) Thou neednt worry, they shant be long.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "One really does have a stick up ones ass. Doesnt one?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, its chilling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So what? Dont you have any will power?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will power? Ive watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You said that was sexy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "kay, look", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats right, because I forbid you to smoke again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You forbid me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mhmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont joke (?) with me, okay? Im very, very upset right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then, I might as well (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ill tell you what were gonna do", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine. What!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sex! This is the last day Im ovulating, and when we dont do it now, well have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You serious? (follows)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right, fine, Ill do it, but no talking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Huh, and no cuddling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And no kissing your neck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good, I hate it when you do that", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And lots of kissing your neck.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, well the ??? is not home.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Uch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright, I cant, I cant wait that long. You have to do somethingknock that door down!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, yyou know, everything is gonna be fine. The babys sleeping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What if she jumped out the bassinet?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Cant hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, I left the water running.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, did I leave the stove on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in 609 - TOW Ross Got High, first aired 1999-11-25.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is the window open? Because if theres a window open, a bird could fly in there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think youre right. I think listen, listen!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ubb.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty birds aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Boy, are you gonna be sorry if thats true.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Maybe we should just eat now.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wha-a how about this", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "But it happens? (waiter leaves) Im gotta go to the bathroom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, you cant go. No-no-no, I cant hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you ask me to stay, Ill pee. (leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, fine, Ill move. Alright, you dont have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you. Wach.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebes chair) Pheebs, who the helluhuhh!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Spend more time with the tie. Thatll make a baby.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I cant do this. I cant make luv to you while were fighting this way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh sure, now youre Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncles funeral", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, Im not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, youre right. Mnya, we shouldnt do it like this. Huch. For what its worth, Im, Im sorry. I shouldnt have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mean it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are incredible. Unless, IIm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dyou want to?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, lets celebrate life!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "kay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, youre okay. Im so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great. So lets get going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, Im never leaving her again.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uhh. You are welcome.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what? Lets not talk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettesno big deal.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, blablablabaybaybay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Leave it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldnt have sex with me while were fighting.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You tricked me to get me into bed?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats right, I got mine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel so used.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I guess theyre not coming. You wanna just order?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Both it is, thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im so sorry", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We got locked out of the apartment, we", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats a great storycan I eat it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And then Rachel wasnt sure she could leave the baby.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "N-it wasnt easy, but its your birthday and I did what I got to do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And thats Judy over there at the bar with Emma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh honey, this is for the best, thus Im not distracted, worrying about Emma, how shes doing at home and Im being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She spit up. Judy! She spiJudy! Look alive, Judy! (they sit down) Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks. Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave? What should I have?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow this ??? is incredible.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Ill have the fixed salad and the duck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yah, Ill have the soup and the salmon.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering with husband) Happy birthday!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Son of a bitch!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wher-where have you been?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we had a little fight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would never lie to get someone into bed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isnt it? How dyou get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach, cmon, Emma is fine. Youre turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yguys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean the lully story?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(childish) Huh-huh, they already know it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys, weve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(returned) No, no, its okay, I already told the waiter what they want.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would you do that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, control your woman!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aw what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "N-no, Emma dropped her sock.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Moms here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, she still has not noticed that the babys sock is on the ground.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "s a good toast.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Ross) Could you please get her attention?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "W-oa Mommy! (gestures to his not understanding mother)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(getting up) Oh, for gods sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) Im sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didnt even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, its too late now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, ??? think thats us?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uch, you see, Im ovulating.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, thats what she says. But maybe youre not ovulating at all, maybe its just a clever ruse to get me into bed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just cant get enough.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Joey) You not gonna believe this", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So? Did have sex, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats the matter with me? Why Im such a girl?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returns) Okay, that was Mike.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, hi, were so sorry. Youre totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, Im gonna take off.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, Im not tnot that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh thank god, if Phoebes going, can we please take Emma home?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know, I think thats a good ideaour babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, yguys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See ya. Well, this is just us.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, Im, Im probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do, do you gonna do it now?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We dont have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey! Joey.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats the best birthday ever.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, you're screaming.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(yawning) Oh, that's great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(clearly not so interested) Awesome.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh no, I want to.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It really is.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a \"yeah, yeah, yeah\" way.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(indignant) What, the blonde with no bra?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a \"gotcha\" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay... (Ross opens the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And she's a little mannish...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(gasps) Oh my God! David!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Who cares, it got you here.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe he didn't give you a chance.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He said", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well... That had been your window.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? The scientist guy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Continue...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you gonna do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You have to tell David!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Heeeeeey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (and she walks away)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, he came up...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) Were you there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sandy, that's exactly what it is...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, that's pretty.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on a yeah, right tone) Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, it's weird!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(she's got that \"yeah, try to say it\" look on her face) Yes?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "King?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a \"whatever\" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oooh... *I really can't hear what she says* come here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You gotta be at least bi...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Seriously? She actually said that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooooo! Being funny is your thing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Without that, you just got \"lame with women\".", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi! There you are.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says \"you're welcome\" without a sound)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oof...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, wait, wait!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, I should have told you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I am happy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "WHAT THAT'S A REAL NAME!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view porn.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok honey. that was close.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nooooooooo!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yeah I didn't disguise that very well did i.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(enters) Hey", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sits down) Hi", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "what, how do we know, we never slept with you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "and who's fault is that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "It's open.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! (She dances around with happiness)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "WHAT!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "WHAT! WHY?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good yeah just be honest with him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll get it", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "ok", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How could you not remember that we slept together?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I dunno!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": ".and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "ok I can't do this.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "so you don't think I'm a total freak", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi honey I'm home!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "oh it was great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Chandler looking confused) Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "does what always have to be sharks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "let ME be a part of this!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "no they don't", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh hey you guys, I couldnt get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thursday? But thats Halloween.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "[Its just] So spooky, thats all.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Its my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think its a little to soon to show my true colors.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Rachel!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all havent been together the six of us in such a long time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you talking about? Were all together right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Um, Mon, Chandlers not here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, dear god!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Good morning everyone, its nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(laughs) Well, dont believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, thats true. Alright, lets get started, by take a look at last quarters figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I cant remember why. (to everyone", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Alright, lolook. I dont smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, its fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? Thats almost rude, that Im not.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(loud) Ken, please! No, I cant, I cant smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cigarette)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(from outside) Trick or treat! (Its obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(opening the door) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, and treat it is. (Monicas breasts.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hmhmm. (ties up)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my ??? outfit that cant contain my breasts.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is not, what Im wearing. Im ovulating and Chandlers gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys wont be late for my dinner, will you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. Well probably be the first ones there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting Chandler.) Heyhey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, dont people know, youre not allowed to smoke in public spaces?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You smoked!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! I just happened tdo a lot trivias about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound and the breasts of a Greek goddess.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(embarrassed) Im gonna go. (leaves to stairs)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(naughty in doorway) Welcome home. Ive missed you. join me in the bedroom?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No thanks, Im good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(comes over) O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so Im feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You dont need a shower.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Huhdid you smoke?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two packaa carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But its over, I made a decision, Im not gonna smoke anymore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gets a pack out of his jacket)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But, those are for you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Alright, well just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, shes stuck in terrible traffic.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well thats now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, what were the other two?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, lets see. The first one is", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, its the first time, were leaving the baby and hey, I know how hard it is for you, but but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. Shes great with kids.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She is?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ya.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about (?) Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, you only heard Monicas side of that. That little fatso was a terror.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ish. I just dont think I can bear it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why dont you, why dont you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then Ill meet you there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-A.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You need to learn some new slang.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im serious. Cmon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What Oh! (points inside)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [cant get in there] (?), the babys fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was just going to say that I left my keys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Where is everyone? Theyre forty minutes late.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, u-uch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What about me, he? Only had one lunch today.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, theyre comin, were waitin right here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joseph! (to waiter) Thou neednt worry, they shant be long.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "One really does have a stick up ones ass. Doesnt one?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, its chilling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So what? Dont you have any will power?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will power? Ive watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You said that was sexy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "kay, look", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats right, because I forbid you to smoke again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You forbid me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mhmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont joke (?) with me, okay? Im very, very upset right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then, I might as well (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ill tell you what were gonna do", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine. What!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sex! This is the last day Im ovulating, and when we dont do it now, well have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You serious? (follows)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right, fine, Ill do it, but no talking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Huh, and no cuddling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And no kissing your neck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good, I hate it when you do that", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And lots of kissing your neck.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, well the ??? is not home.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Uch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright, I cant, I cant wait that long. You have to do somethingknock that door down!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, yyou know, everything is gonna be fine. The babys sleeping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What if she jumped out the bassinet?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Cant hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, I left the water running.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, did I leave the stove on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in 609 - TOW Ross Got High, first aired 1999-11-25.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is the window open? Because if theres a window open, a bird could fly in there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think youre right. I think listen, listen!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ubb.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty birds aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Boy, are you gonna be sorry if thats true.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Maybe we should just eat now.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wha-a how about this", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "But it happens? (waiter leaves) Im gotta go to the bathroom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, you cant go. No-no-no, I cant hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you ask me to stay, Ill pee. (leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, fine, Ill move. Alright, you dont have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you. Wach.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebes chair) Pheebs, who the helluhuhh!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Spend more time with the tie. Thatll make a baby.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I cant do this. I cant make luv to you while were fighting this way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh sure, now youre Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncles funeral", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, Im not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, youre right. Mnya, we shouldnt do it like this. Huch. For what its worth, Im, Im sorry. I shouldnt have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mean it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are incredible. Unless, IIm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dyou want to?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, lets celebrate life!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "kay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, youre okay. Im so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great. So lets get going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, Im never leaving her again.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uhh. You are welcome.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what? Lets not talk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettesno big deal.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, blablablabaybaybay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Leave it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldnt have sex with me while were fighting.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You tricked me to get me into bed?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats right, I got mine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel so used.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I guess theyre not coming. You wanna just order?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Both it is, thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im so sorry", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We got locked out of the apartment, we", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats a great storycan I eat it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And then Rachel wasnt sure she could leave the baby.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "N-it wasnt easy, but its your birthday and I did what I got to do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And thats Judy over there at the bar with Emma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh honey, this is for the best, thus Im not distracted, worrying about Emma, how shes doing at home and Im being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She spit up. Judy! She spiJudy! Look alive, Judy! (they sit down) Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks. Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave? What should I have?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow this ??? is incredible.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Ill have the fixed salad and the duck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yah, Ill have the soup and the salmon.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering with husband) Happy birthday!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Son of a bitch!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wher-where have you been?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we had a little fight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would never lie to get someone into bed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isnt it? How dyou get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rach, cmon, Emma is fine. Youre turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yguys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean the lully story?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(childish) Huh-huh, they already know it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys, weve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(returned) No, no, its okay, I already told the waiter what they want.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would you do that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, control your woman!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aw what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "N-no, Emma dropped her sock.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Moms here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, she still has not noticed that the babys sock is on the ground.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "s a good toast.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Ross) Could you please get her attention?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "W-oa Mommy! (gestures to his not understanding mother)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(getting up) Oh, for gods sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) Im sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didnt even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, its too late now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, ??? think thats us?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uch, you see, Im ovulating.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, thats what she says. But maybe youre not ovulating at all, maybe its just a clever ruse to get me into bed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just cant get enough.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Joey) You not gonna believe this", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So? Did have sex, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats the matter with me? Why Im such a girl?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returns) Okay, that was Mike.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, hi, were so sorry. Youre totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, Im gonna take off.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, Im not tnot that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh thank god, if Phoebes going, can we please take Emma home?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know, I think thats a good ideaour babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, yguys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See ya. Well, this is just us.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, Im, Im probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do, do you gonna do it now?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We dont have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey! Joey.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats the best birthday ever.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, you're screaming.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(yawning) Oh, that's great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(clearly not so interested) Awesome.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh no, I want to.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It really is.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a \"yeah, yeah, yeah\" way.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(indignant) What, the blonde with no bra?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a \"gotcha\" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay... (Ross opens the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And she's a little mannish...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(gasps) Oh my God! David!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Who cares, it got you here.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe he didn't give you a chance.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He said", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well... That had been your window.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? The scientist guy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Continue...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you gonna do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You have to tell David!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Heeeeeey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (and she walks away)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, he came up...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) Were you there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Sandy, that's exactly what it is...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, that's pretty.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(on a yeah, right tone) Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, it's weird!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(she's got that \"yeah, try to say it\" look on her face) Yes?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "King?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a \"whatever\" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oooh... ***I really can't hear what she says*** come here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You gotta be at least bi...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Seriously? She actually said that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooooo! Being funny is your thing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Without that, you just got \"lame with women\".", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi! There you are.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says \"you're welcome\" without a sound)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oof...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, wait, wait!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, I should have told you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I am happy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.", "role": "user" } ]