bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "I know, yeah!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Which one, they all suck!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking puzzled) I don't think so.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to the receptionist) Hi there!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "And... taped back together.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(imitating the receptionist's tone) through the glass doors.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Alright-y then.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I need to talk to you about Charlie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, if you don't know what the word \"acrimonious\" means, just don't use it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Get to the problem!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking down) Are you wearing two belts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(checking) EH, what do you know!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(after a short hesitation) Fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The Metsss!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, all right, so I'll take her to the MET.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got to tell me exactly what to do there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, Come on!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why are you here?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What!?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to! (leaves)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(In a strange heavy accent) Hello \"ja\", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, then I'm Swedish...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, what's your name?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh... what an interesting name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ja!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is something wrong?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, it's just that uhm... it feels so good... Ikea... (pause) Yeah, say hey, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, do you have any idea what you just said?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(shaking his head as if to say", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phonetically? (Looks confused)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on \"Days\" I had to say \"Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy\".", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow. What does that mean?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means \"you're gonna get eaten by a bear\".", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! (Reaches out to touch the imaginary painting).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! (Slaps his hand)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(stares at her intently, then yells) It was a \"Wendy's!! \"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Singing) \"Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! \" And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Ja! Ja!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... (Phoebe looks devastated)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(now lifts her head) Phoebe!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know it's me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can you come here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How could you not tell me you worked here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't have to tell you everything!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Tips not included.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good for you Pheebs!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, how was the Met?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What do you mean?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "That was going to be my next argument.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Charlie) You're ready?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Glad I could help man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey sweetie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Doctor Connelly just called.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) \"Doctor Connelly just called\". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) \"Doctor Connelly just called! \" But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually it's both of us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh... what does that mean?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(weeping) Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry too.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, we're gonna... we're gonna figure this out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(still weeping) I know.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(imitating the receptionist's tone) Good morning receptionist.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, yeah... It's... \"climax your way to better skin\".", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey Rach!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, well...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's the matter, Pheebs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like \"Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!\". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Exactly!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, that'll be great!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's not what we're gonna do!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, DAMN IT!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(long pause) Ok.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not gonna find any clothes in there!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey, you guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey guys!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's in Barbados.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But you come first!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm there!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Bye, see ya. (she goes)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting down on the couch) Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So-so what did the doctor say?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you're ruling out surrogacy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, I don't have to learn what that means?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stopping Joey) ah-ha!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you feel about all this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(puzzled) What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, that's not what you want...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I'll take some of that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, that's for men!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "On Melanie Griffith in \"Working girl\". I think what you want is over here.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who else?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You like Joey?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(whispering) Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(annoyed) Oh, I get it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So can we keep this between us?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi honey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is \"spermtastic\"!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! \"Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm\"!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(bringing the beer to Zack) Zack!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Tell me about yourself, Zack!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, great!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sticks her head out too) Well, get back in there and talk!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(comes out again) What!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh! We have a problem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! What are we gonna do?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(yelling at the stranger) Alright! Enough out of you!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! How's it going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Barbados.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, just wake him up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey guys! Dinner's ready!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, there's enthusiastic and there's just plain gay!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You don't like him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright! Just follow my lead!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I know, yeah!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Which one, they all suck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(looking puzzled) I don't think so.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to the receptionist) Hi there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "And... taped back together.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(imitating the receptionist's tone) through the glass doors.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Alright-y then.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I need to talk to you about Charlie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, if you don't know what the word \"acrimonious\" means, just don't use it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Get to the problem!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking down) Are you wearing two belts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(checking) EH, what do you know!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(after a short hesitation) Fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The Metsss!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, all right, so I'll take her to the MET.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got to tell me exactly what to do there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, Come on!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why are you here?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What!?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to! (leaves)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(In a strange heavy accent) Hello \"ja\", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, then I'm Swedish...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, what's your name?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh... what an interesting name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ja!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is something wrong?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, it's just that uhm... it feels so good... Ikea... (pause) Yeah, say hey, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, do you have any idea what you just said?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(shaking his head as if to say", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phonetically? (Looks confused)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on \"Days\" I had to say \"Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy\".", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow. What does that mean?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means \"you're gonna get eaten by a bear\".", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! (Reaches out to touch the imaginary painting).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! (Slaps his hand)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(stares at her intently, then yells) It was a \"Wendy's!! \"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Singing) \"Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! \" And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Ja! Ja!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... (Phoebe looks devastated)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(now lifts her head) Phoebe!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know it's me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can you come here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How could you not tell me you worked here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't have to tell you everything!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Tips not included.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good for you Pheebs!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, how was the Met?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What do you mean?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "That was going to be my next argument.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Charlie) You're ready?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Glad I could help man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey sweetie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Doctor Connelly just called.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) \"Doctor Connelly just called\". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) \"Doctor Connelly just called! \" But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually it's both of us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh... what does that mean?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(weeping) Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry too.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, we're gonna... we're gonna figure this out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(still weeping) I know.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(imitating the receptionist's tone) Good morning receptionist.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, yeah... It's... \"climax your way to better skin\".", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey Rach!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, well...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's the matter, Pheebs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like \"Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!\". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Exactly!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, that'll be great!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's not what we're gonna do!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, DAMN IT!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(long pause) Ok.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not gonna find any clothes in there!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey, you guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey guys!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's in Barbados.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But you come first!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Bye, see ya. (she goes)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting down on the couch) Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So-so what did the doctor say?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you're ruling out surrogacy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, I don't have to learn what that means?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stopping Joey) ah-ha!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you feel about all this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(puzzled) What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, that's not what you want...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I'll take some of that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, that's for men!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "On Melanie Griffith in \"Working girl\". I think what you want is over here.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who else?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You like Joey?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(whispering) Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(annoyed) Oh, I get it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So can we keep this between us?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi honey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is \"spermtastic\"!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! \"Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm\"!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(bringing the beer to Zack) Zack!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Tell me about yourself, Zack!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, great!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sticks her head out too) Well, get back in there and talk!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(comes out again) What!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh! We have a problem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! What are we gonna do?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(yelling at the stranger) Alright! Enough out of you!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! How's it going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Barbados.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, just wake him up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey guys! Dinner's ready!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, there's enthusiastic and there's just plain gay!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You don't like him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright! Just follow my lead!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you", "role": "assistant" } ]