bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "I can't believe we are even having this discussion.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She really said that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "'Tonight' tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How could you lose him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. The left one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Which ones?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Entering) Hey.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel lost Marcel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, how?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He- he pooped in my shoe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which one?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Anybody wanna trade? Oh...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A monkey. Have you seen a monkey?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. You, uh, you want some?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, what? What-what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "...Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know, I'm sorry-", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "See? I've even called Animal Control!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You called Animal Control?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi, thanks for coming.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Turned out it was a hat.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Cat!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "My uncle Marcel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, is that who the monkey's named after?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, but there isn't always time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The Luisa from home room!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, none at all.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "None.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A monkey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes have you seen any?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh. Then, no.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh-my-God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whaaat!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Something just brushed up against my right leg!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Look, Phoebe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What're you gonna do?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh gosh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, you don't know that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, forget it, okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi, did you order some bananas?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Gimme back my monkey.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Then what's with all the bananas?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Marcel! What've you done to him?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, gimme my monkey back.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Alright, I want my monkey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, c'mon, Luisa!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That'd be good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Barry?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "We have got to start locking that door!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nope.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's because I'm in front of them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh. I thought that was an alp.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, high school was not my favourite time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, that is so sick.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel violated. And not in a good way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So have you called her yet?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Her answer machine?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, why didn't you say anything?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase \"Yes indeedy-o.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, what's going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, they're just talking...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? What? What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Rach!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How'd it go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not a good day for birds...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's, that's nice twice!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Duh, where've you been?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I have my reasons.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow... Wow!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I've been honing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was with the dishes?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Great, now he's waving back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What kinda stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You cook naked?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, what about Mindy?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I had a bra.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Can I use your phone?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe she never got your message.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "...desperate, needy, pathetic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How many beeps?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She answered.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How'd he take it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, do I?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You-you had what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sex in his chair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, uh... what were you thinking?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Please. If she said to you, \"Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now,\" what would you say?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "If it helps, I could slide over.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where are you going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello? Hello?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So how's Mindy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Brrrrrrr!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hell is filled with people like you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) He's back! The peeper's back!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(ducking) Get down!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Get down?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "...And boogie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(intrigued) Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "..Naughty!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right, I'll see you guys later...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why don't you just take it with you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why don't you just call her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't you have to pee?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'S'why I'm dancing...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Mindy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, you.... So, what's up?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure we should... So.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Of course!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Was that all you wanted to ask me?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh sure it is!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, what- what would make you think that?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What? What's what you were afraid of?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I am so sorry.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(watches them for a while) Oh my.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Four letters", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ring dammit, ring!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nngghhh!!!!!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"Heating device.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Radiator.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Five letters.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rdtor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So she's a woman! So what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The green dress? Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey. Got a second?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh, we are here to break up with you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't believe we are even having this discussion.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She really said that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "'Tonight' tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How could you lose him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. The left one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Which ones?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Entering) Hey.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel lost Marcel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, how?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He- he pooped in my shoe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which one?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Anybody wanna trade? Oh...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "A monkey. Have you seen a monkey?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. You, uh, you want some?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, what? What-what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "...Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know, I'm sorry-", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "See? I've even called Animal Control!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You called Animal Control?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi, thanks for coming.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Turned out it was a hat.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Cat!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My uncle Marcel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, is that who the monkey's named after?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, but there isn't always time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The Luisa from home room!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, none at all.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "None.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A monkey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes have you seen any?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh. Then, no.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh-my-God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whaaat!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Something just brushed up against my right leg!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Look, Phoebe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What're you gonna do?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh gosh.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Marcel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, you don't know that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, forget it, okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi, did you order some bananas?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Gimme back my monkey.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Then what's with all the bananas?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Marcel! What've you done to him?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, gimme my monkey back.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Alright, I want my monkey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, c'mon, Luisa!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That'd be good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Barry?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "We have got to start locking that door!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nope.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's because I'm in front of them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh. I thought that was an alp.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, high school was not my favourite time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, that is so sick.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel violated. And not in a good way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So have you called her yet?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Her answer machine?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, why didn't you say anything?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase \"Yes indeedy-o.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, what's going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, they're just talking...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? What? What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Rach!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How'd it go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not a good day for birds...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's, that's nice twice!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Duh, where've you been?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I have my reasons.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow... Wow!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I've been honing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was with the dishes?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Great, now he's waving back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What kinda stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You cook naked?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, what about Mindy?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I had a bra.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Can I use your phone?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe she never got your message.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "...desperate, needy, pathetic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How many beeps?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She answered.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How'd he take it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, do I?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You-you had what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sex in his chair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, uh... what were you thinking?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Please. If she said to you, \"Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now,\" what would you say?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "If it helps, I could slide over.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where are you going?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello? Hello?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So how's Mindy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Brrrrrrr!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hell is filled with people like you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) He's back! The peeper's back!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(ducking) Get down!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Get down?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "...And boogie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(intrigued) Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "..Naughty!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right, I'll see you guys later...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why don't you just take it with you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why don't you just call her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't you have to pee?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'S'why I'm dancing...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Mindy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, you.... So, what's up?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Sure we should... So.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Of course!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Was that all you wanted to ask me?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh sure it is!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, what- what would make you think that?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What? What's what you were afraid of?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I am so sorry.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(watches them for a while) Oh my.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Four letters", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ring dammit, ring!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nngghhh!!!!!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"Heating device.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Radiator.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Five letters.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rdtor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So she's a woman! So what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The green dress? Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey. Got a second?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh, we are here to break up with you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?", "role": "user" } ]