bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "I'm ok.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Did you just say \"break up with Charlie\"?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Are you serious?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi! Sorry, I'm late.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, what's the bad news!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Who's Gladys?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sarcastic) Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I would give her up, for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I couldn't let you do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But I want to.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I don't want you to.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But I insist!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I insist harder!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, that landed in your food!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Joe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sounds disappointed) Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks surprised) What!? Of course I did!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not lying to you, I watched it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I watched it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Keep going Pinocchio!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you watch the tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(In a sarcastic \"of course not\"!-tone) No!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Rolls his eyes) I guess!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say \"What's wrong? Answer the question\")", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(annoyed) May 12th?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(annoyed) um... I've never heard of a \"Boscodictiasaur\".", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh come on!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But you are a liar.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What did I just say?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You still here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "He really is a chameleon.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(faking happiness) Oh, my!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(offended) I like that poster!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Sarcastic) No! Stop!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Skeptical) Really?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I have to break up with Charlie?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You're crazy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Crazy!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "O-oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enters from his bedroom) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, we're not keeping this!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But it's an original Buffay...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! I sold that to Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes I can! (pushes her back again)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No you can't. She's yours!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's yours!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "SHE'S YOURS!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's yours!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! (there's a pause)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's m-i-i-ne!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I want Gladys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Excellent!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, what do you say?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Lying is wrong!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And?... AND?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm a pretty little girl.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I knew it!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Your ex-boyfriend is insane.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of \"Underdog\"?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Damnit!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Too little, too late, Benji!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(indignant) No!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "or...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Gladys?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're mean!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, don't be such a baby!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey you guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That's funny, we were doing the same thing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So what did you two do about it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) We?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pointing at himself) Little people?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pointing at himself) Celebrity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What...? NO!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It isn't mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Mhm... it's moist.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(he enters) Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, good!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Absolutely.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, uhm... what are you gonna do today?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, what!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Be-caaauuuse...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Seriously?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when youll see the look on Emmas face, I swear you wont regret it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good, you dont want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Irrational, huh? All right, well, Ill remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah, thats the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, ok, here we go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hello, is this the creepy residence?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, Im glad youre here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I dont know if you wanna use it, but", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I wont be needing a veil, I actually wont be wearing a dress at all!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, no, were not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just cant imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We, you know, were different! We dont care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I dont need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats right. Youre making a commitment and thats the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "City Hall.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its ok, its ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But you already gave all your money to charity!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ill just ask for it back!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont think you can do that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, careful.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, shes got like three hairs!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know (she touches Emmas head) but theyre just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I promise you shes safe! No watch how much she loves this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here we go! (He starts pushing Emma)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, careful, ok. (Emma giggles) Oh, shes smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See, I told you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, shes a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, absolutely!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, its in the diaper bag.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "The donation we made earlier, we k, we w, we want it back.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didnt want, but it turns out we do.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, thats not fair! A persons wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didnt have a graduation party! And I didnt go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to kill me or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Would you like something to drink?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. Were really excited about getting this process started.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, because we love kids. Love em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really? What is it?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Of course it was!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "RAT BASTARD!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright fine. I'll do it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you hold a spider.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(He freaks out and starts jumping around brushing his sweater) WHAT? WHERE? WHERE?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "IF you hold a spider.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Guys!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Everything doesn't sound fine!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm ok.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Did you just say \"break up with Charlie\"?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Are you serious?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi! Sorry, I'm late.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, what's the bad news!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Who's Gladys?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sarcastic) Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, I would give her up, for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I couldn't let you do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But I want to.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I don't want you to.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But I insist!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I insist harder!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, that landed in your food!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Joe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sounds disappointed) Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks surprised) What!? Of course I did!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not lying to you, I watched it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I watched it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Keep going Pinocchio!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you watch the tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(In a sarcastic \"of course not\"!-tone) No!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Rolls his eyes) I guess!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say \"What's wrong? Answer the question\")", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(annoyed) May 12th?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(annoyed) um... I've never heard of a \"Boscodictiasaur\".", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh come on!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But you are a liar.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What did I just say?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You still here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "He really is a chameleon.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(faking happiness) Oh, my!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(offended) I like that poster!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Sarcastic) No! Stop!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Skeptical) Really?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I have to break up with Charlie?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You're crazy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Crazy!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "O-oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enters from his bedroom) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, we're not keeping this!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But it's an original Buffay...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! I sold that to Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes I can! (pushes her back again)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No you can't. She's yours!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's yours!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "SHE'S YOURS!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's yours!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! (there's a pause)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's m-i-i-ne!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I want Gladys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's mine!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Excellent!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, what do you say?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Lying is wrong!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And?... AND?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm a pretty little girl.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I knew it!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Your ex-boyfriend is insane.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of \"Underdog\"?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Damnit!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Too little, too late, Benji!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(indignant) No!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "or...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Gladys?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're mean!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, don't be such a baby!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey you guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That's funny, we were doing the same thing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So what did you two do about it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) We?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pointing at himself) Little people?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pointing at himself) Celebrity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What...? NO!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It isn't mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Mhm... it's moist.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(he enters) Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, good!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Absolutely.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, uhm... what are you gonna do today?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, what!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Be-caaauuuse...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Seriously?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when youll see the look on Emmas face, I swear you wont regret it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good, you dont want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Irrational, huh? All right, well, Ill remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah, thats the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, ok, here we go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hello, is this the creepy residence?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, Im glad youre here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I dont know if you wanna use it, but", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I wont be needing a veil, I actually wont be wearing a dress at all!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, no, were not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just cant imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We, you know, were different! We dont care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I dont need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats right. Youre making a commitment and thats the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "City Hall.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its ok, its ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But you already gave all your money to charity!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ill just ask for it back!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont think you can do that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, careful.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, shes got like three hairs!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know (she touches Emmas head) but theyre just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I promise you shes safe! No watch how much she loves this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here we go! (He starts pushing Emma)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, careful, ok. (Emma giggles) Oh, shes smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See, I told you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, shes a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, absolutely!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, its in the diaper bag.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Its for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "The donation we made earlier, we k, we w, we want it back.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didnt want, but it turns out we do.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, thats not fair! A persons wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didnt have a graduation party! And I didnt go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to kill me or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Would you like something to drink?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. Were really excited about getting this process started.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, because we love kids. Love em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Really? What is it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Of course it was!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "RAT BASTARD!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright fine. I'll do it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you hold a spider.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(He freaks out and starts jumping around brushing his sweater) WHAT? WHERE? WHERE?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "IF you hold a spider.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Guys!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Everything doesn't sound fine!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.", "role": "assistant" } ]