bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Go get em Treeger.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(intrigued) Really?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, Im good.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, they thought I was a whore.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Great! Thank you very much.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "May fifth, why?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, mine's December...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I could die.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just be yourself. But, not too much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(loudly) Good luck!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh Kathy, with K or a C?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh-oh-hey!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I see you guys already met, huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Jeez, at 2", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! That's why I got up too!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is it on?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh! It's on! It's on!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "There we go little fella.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well the duck can swim.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That cold makes you sound so great.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Kath, we should get going. We're going to by hamsters.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, have fun!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know what, I like Kathy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, she's...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You love her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I don't.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, Pheebs lay off him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you, Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(turning around and doing that, \"I'm making out with someone,\" thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that \"Woo-hoo\" thing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(loudly) So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel's not here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How's it going with her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little \"playing\" ourselves.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi, Josh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (He starts to leave, and Rachel grabs him and gives him a passionate kiss.) I'll miss you.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow, cute one!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Very!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica knows.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, (clears her voice and in her normal voice) you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, (tries to sing) My sticky shoes--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! You-you look great!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I-I-I...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Who wants to make some long distance calls?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I just wanted to say, \"Hey!\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Pheebs, what are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you serious?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sneezes) Oh gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs) Right in there!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's 4", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I see what's going on here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You-you do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! You don't like Kathy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You got me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think he's stealing from me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because he's stealing from me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ughh! (Storms out after him)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you so much Phoebe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing with those?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But, I need your germs! I want my cold back! I miss my sexy voice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry, Phoebe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's okay. How's the soup?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm. (nodding her head, \"Good.\")", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohhhh!! Gross!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Is she great or what?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uhh, no-no thanks.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, look, what do you want from me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am pretending.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well then, do it better!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well where's Amanda?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey Rach, could you get me some cough drops?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, cough drops, please?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You see Amanda and I have a very special...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! (Shows her, her ring)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Gunther, kiss me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Can I sleep on your couch?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(confused) Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(really confused) Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You're welcome for a delicious dinner.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey what are you guys looking at?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, come to papa.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I know!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine by me; hope she wins.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oo! Is it for my birthday present?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I have a call in about that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'Kay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, honey, that's so sweet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and what a great way to say, \"I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It doesn't say that. Does it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! What happened?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sixty guests.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There you go, that's the spirit! Okay! Now, if you need money, I will lend you money, but just get moving!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you're not working either.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but I'm doing this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, that'd be great! Thank you!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You can pee here!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I know...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And not one of your coupons for an hour of \"Joey Love.\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, how'd it go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mon! I'm so happy for you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll have one, please. Plus my money.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(moved by the kiss) Huh...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Mitzi is.....", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(mouths \"where?\") Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh (steps on some garbage and falters) ...do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, yeah, why not?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, is everything in the car?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes. Did you settle the bill?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. I hate this part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, look what we almost left. (Picks up a coffee maker)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, that's not mine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, all right. Oh! Look what we almost took!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Just the matter of ...payment?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know what we should all do? Go see a musical.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(confused) Sure...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know... um, Grease?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rent?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes! Rent!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, so when do you want to go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, it is, at Office Max.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A pen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh-huh! You can't give her that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... \"Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "For three years?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "But Mon, you have to get our money!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, \"that massage wasn't long enough, or, \"I don't recognize any of those songs,\" or, you know, \"these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "She seems fine now.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What kind of smell?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know. Soap?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You wanna see her again, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, okay you're right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean, uh, who... who cares about a little sloppiness?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's, uh... it's endearing, really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Any luck?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called \"Invisible things for Kathy.\" (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aw, honey, that's so sweet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! Pathetic! (Grabs the crossword puzzle and starts writing.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our place, the hall! I...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, it came out to an even twenty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You didn't get the money, did you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! (Phoebe goes into the living room.) Hey, widow?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, Widow!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Go get em Treeger.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(intrigued) Really?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, Im good.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, they thought I was a whore.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Great! Thank you very much.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "May fifth, why?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, mine's December...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I could die.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just be yourself. But, not too much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(loudly) Good luck!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh Kathy, with K or a C?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh-oh-hey!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I see you guys already met, huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Jeez, at 2", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! That's why I got up too!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it on?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh! It's on! It's on!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "There we go little fella.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well the duck can swim.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That cold makes you sound so great.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Kath, we should get going. We're going to by hamsters.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, have fun!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know what, I like Kathy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, she's...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You love her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I don't.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, Pheebs lay off him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you, Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(turning around and doing that, \"I'm making out with someone,\" thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that \"Woo-hoo\" thing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(loudly) So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel's not here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How's it going with her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little \"playing\" ourselves.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi, Josh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. (He starts to leave, and Rachel grabs him and gives him a passionate kiss.) I'll miss you.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow, cute one!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Very!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica knows.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, (clears her voice and in her normal voice) you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, (tries to sing) My sticky shoes--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! You-you look great!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I-I-I...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Who wants to make some long distance calls?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I just wanted to say, \"Hey!\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pheebs, what are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you serious?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sneezes) Oh gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs) Right in there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's 4", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I see what's going on here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You-you do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! You don't like Kathy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You got me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think he's stealing from me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because he's stealing from me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ughh! (Storms out after him)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you so much Phoebe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing with those?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But, I need your germs! I want my cold back! I miss my sexy voice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry, Phoebe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's okay. How's the soup?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm. (nodding her head, \"Good.\")", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohhhh!! Gross!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Is she great or what?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uhh, no-no thanks.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, look, what do you want from me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am pretending.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well then, do it better!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well where's Amanda?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey Rach, could you get me some cough drops?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, cough drops, please?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You see Amanda and I have a very special...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! (Shows her, her ring)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Y'know...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Gunther, kiss me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can I sleep on your couch?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(confused) Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(really confused) Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You're welcome for a delicious dinner.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey what are you guys looking at?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, come to papa.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I know!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine by me; hope she wins.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oo! Is it for my birthday present?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I have a call in about that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'Kay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, honey, that's so sweet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and what a great way to say, \"I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It doesn't say that. Does it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! What happened?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sixty guests.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There you go, that's the spirit! Okay! Now, if you need money, I will lend you money, but just get moving!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you're not working either.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but I'm doing this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, that'd be great! Thank you!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You can pee here!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I know...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And not one of your coupons for an hour of \"Joey Love.\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, how'd it go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mon! I'm so happy for you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll have one, please. Plus my money.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(moved by the kiss) Huh...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Mitzi is.....", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(mouths \"where?\") Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh (steps on some garbage and falters) ...do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, yeah, why not?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, is everything in the car?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes. Did you settle the bill?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. I hate this part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, look what we almost left. (Picks up a coffee maker)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, that's not mine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, all right. Oh! Look what we almost took!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Just the matter of ...payment?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know what we should all do? Go see a musical.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(confused) Sure...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know... um, Grease?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rent?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes! Rent!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, so when do you want to go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, it is, at Office Max.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A pen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh-huh! You can't give her that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... \"Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "For three years?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "But Mon, you have to get our money!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, \"that massage wasn't long enough, or, \"I don't recognize any of those songs,\" or, you know, \"these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "She seems fine now.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What kind of smell?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know. Soap?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You wanna see her again, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, okay you're right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean, uh, who... who cares about a little sloppiness?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's, uh... it's endearing, really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Any luck?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called \"Invisible things for Kathy.\" (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aw, honey, that's so sweet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! Pathetic! (Grabs the crossword puzzle and starts writing.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our place, the hall! I...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, it came out to an even twenty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You didn't get the money, did you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! (Phoebe goes into the living room.) Hey, widow?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, Widow!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.", "role": "user" } ]