conversations
listlengths 1
62
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|---|
[
{
"content": "Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay, easy Martina. I think we should let them win the next game.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Let them win one.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You're not even giving them a chance!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "They have racquets don't they?!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oopsey, missed it!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I got it!!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Long! (Gives Monica the Work Laugh.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I can't believe you let them win!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I was frustrated.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It was my racquet.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I was frustrated with you!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the \"I'll see you around, Bing!\" \"Not if I see you first, Doug!\" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Maybe we should check the trash chute.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "There he is!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Just, y'know out.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What were you doing?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You walked around all night in the city by yourself?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Look, I don't have to answer your questions! Okay? I'm a big boy, I can do whatever I want!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "He hooked up!! Tell us about her!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah! No that's what I was thinking.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You two will have very hairy children.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, I didn't know you would say that.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ross! Janice?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So are you actually gonna see her again?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I am gonna see her again.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Damnit Phoebe!!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My turn? What-what are you talking about?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, \"I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours.\" And he said, \"Laundry? Is that my new nickname?\" And you said, \"No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big(Thinks)ot.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Uh-hmm.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Judge rules, no violation.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohhh.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Hey guys!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Are you serious?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohh, tough call.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, none for me. Thanks.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Just a little bit of sugar.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, you get used to it.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I just",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Really?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I thought you could use the help.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Sure! Why?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "But we're not ready to tell yet!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I know! It's just thatever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey! Hi!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay great!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I'll get back to my new job.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Man, she is really gullible.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Thanks!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay. Sometimes I feel",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Huh?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "OHMYGOD!!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I am now.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Umm, hi.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Dude, we got to talk.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Why would I be mad?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That was a half an hour?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It's your timer.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, then massage me up right nice!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It's so good, isn't it?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Say good-bye to sore muscles!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Good-bye muscles!!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(walking up with Rachel and carrying coffee) Hey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Sorry.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And you're gonna make them all disappear.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Done.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Great! Thanks, Rach!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Sure! (Pause) God, please take those off!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey Pheebs, how's it going?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Is everything okay?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Are you all right?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Pheebs! Sorry!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uhh, Pheebs' Grandmother just died.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohh my God, I'm so sorry.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Pheebs, I'm so sorry.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; \"Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter.\" And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Really? A purse?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It looks like a women's purse.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Exactly! Unisex!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "It's Phoebe.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Umm, well, umm Grandma died.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No you didn't!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Your make-up!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Why would I return it? I love this bag!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right, then you owe me $350.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(glaring at him) Joey",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What's the part, Anti-man?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi sweetie!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, how are you holding up?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey Pheebs, I'm so sorry.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Thanks!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, welcome.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Umm here's your 3-D glasses.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "So how did you know Francis?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Really?! What's your name?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You're Frank Buffay?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You just said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "But",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh my God!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?! What honey?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What happened?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "That was my dad!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh my God!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, did you catch him?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh-huh.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Wh-what did he say?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "He said, \"Nice to meet you Glenda.\" (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Why?! Why not?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What did you say to him?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right, let's go say good-bye.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "And a date with a man!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, \"Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!\" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, at least you scared someone.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What are you talking about?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No he's not!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(wincing) Yes, he is!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I'm sorry but, ow-owww-owww!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, first it's not a purse.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Noooo. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah but I didnt read anything.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, is Rachel here?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, \"I don't like your massages.\"",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(falling into that trap) I don't like your massages.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(starting to cry) See? It's no big deal.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, but now see you're crying!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(bursting into tears) My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh my God! You don't know me at all!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm crying here!!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, \"Who's the best of that?\" They'd have to go to you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Absolutely!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay. I suck!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! (They hug.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Umm, thank you for meeting with me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Huh?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "But you-you-you came to see Lilly?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "She's dead.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "17 years ago.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "That's a defense?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You make up songs?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
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