bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Pheebs, I have to ask you", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre just staring into space.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This one? (Picks it up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It worked!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) \"Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly.\" Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) \"Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay\" Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, you go grab it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I saw it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know what youre talking about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I do not re-love her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You can live with me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! Are you serious?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh yes!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Totally!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "We dont have to come up with this now.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Changes?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is that a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See now-now youre taking them away from their home.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "In the game room!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Whoa!! Now look, dont be just blurtin stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why did you take the shower curtain down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?! Over a stupid room!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, we can handle this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Love is the best medicine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats laughter.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why do you do it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No-no, Im staying put.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why, where are you going?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey Rach!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh wow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, because of us! Because of our history.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Not at all!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?! We are?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! That would be great.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, \"Come back later, Im gettin lucky.\" (Laughs.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats very funny!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the roomrepresents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'm not so worried.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, no, me neither.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You still want to move in together right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross didnt scare you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come here, I want to show you something!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! Someones killed Square Man!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say \"Merge?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-hmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I love that!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, no!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fighting?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ive been back and forth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, \"Oh thats okay. Youll find someone.\" And then, bamn! She finds you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, m-maybe youre right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is that what I want?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Here she comes. Hold on, Im gonna make your life much easier.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, well the place was closed. Ill just copy it later.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thursdays clearly not good for ya, pick a day!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay! Here we go. Pillow.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Very good! Okay. G.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Excellent! Okay umm, doggy.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And its a magnet!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look at that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, I know what youre thinking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "OhmyGod! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, \"Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?\" \"Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?\" \"When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?\" You want her!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! (Rosss phone rings.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No-no, I bought those.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (Rachel walks away.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(under her breath) That youre a liar. (Hides the candlesticks in a drawer.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, who wouldnt?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? \"Professor Geller.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Professor and Mrs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And Mrs.?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just kidding!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Saved your ass.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, whats the matter?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you know that psychic I see?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe thats crazy!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe she would say that too you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey everyone!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) \"There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(continuing) \"subcategories. The first of these subcategories is\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) \"There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why dont you open with a joke?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Open with a joke? Its a university, not a comedy club!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(gets up) Okay!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Some uh, some visual aides.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Please dont say naked chicks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats the way I did it til I was 19.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Any good mail?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(opens and reads it) \"Benefits lapsed.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Let me see that!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. Im gonna go see my agent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, what-what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Monica!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hmm? (Rachel holds up the candlesticks.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did-did you take these back?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I loved them!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hello!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Howd the lecture go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, \"Ross you have to be funny and sexy.\" Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That youre not funny or sexy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats right!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey Estelle, listen", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Bastard!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats wrong with you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats a hernia.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, but yknow we could sneak in and watch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What the hell are you doing?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and not a very good one.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will you-will you please?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just please stop!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and lets just get that thingpushed back in.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh Joeys got a really bad hernia, but thats nothing a little laser eye surgery wont fix!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on MarriedWith Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Maybe youll die!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure, now Im scared.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but I dont wanna die!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Gimme em!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! They are mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You stole them from me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You stole them from me!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Gimme them!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You just wanna each take one?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theyre not listening too me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think you look fine.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. \"Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you.\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) \"Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Exactly.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, okay. (Leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, come on, do it one more time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) \"Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?! How do you know?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, Im sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Listen, Im really glad you got the part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(barely audible through the pain) Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But are you sure you can do this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Now, is that never talking about it again?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to the director) Hiya!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "\"Take could care of your Momma son.\" (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) \"Take could care of your Momma son.\" (Alex does nothing.) \"Come on son! Your Mommas good people!\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (Starts screaming.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(he stops screaming at action) \"Take good care of your Momma son.\" (Again Alex does nothing.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(answering it) Hello?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh no, hes not. Can I take a message?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross got married againNooooooo!!!!!!!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Have you really done this before?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, all right.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look I was going to tell you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre kidding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(overdoing it) Oh my God!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, I told her you already knew.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Another lie. You have a sickness!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You left a shoe here?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great! Thanks. (Exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(not enthused) Yeah, all right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, its not mine.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe you could be my roommate!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well theres an idea!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, she said shed be back December 26th.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "December 26th, huh maybe shes Santa Clause.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay Rach, but", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Op! Youre peeping!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look I told you", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont wanna hear \"Three failed marriages!\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about the time I said we were on a break?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh! (Stares at him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Pheebs, hows it going?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What do you mean?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shocking! Since you still have the keys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What equity investments?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You dont even have a car!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And six others.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There you are.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, she tops out at 130.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, take it easy.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now Im just polishing her up.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, but its my wax.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why not?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, so did I.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I can still do that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How are you still single?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good. What made you change your mind?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did that happen?!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Fine, Im mentally unstable.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh yes, heroin and crack.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you would know.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pheebs, I have to ask you", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre just staring into space.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This one? (Picks it up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It worked!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) \"Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly.\" Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) \"Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay\" Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, you go grab it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I saw it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know what youre talking about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I do not re-love her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You can live with me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! Are you serious?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh yes!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Totally!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "We dont have to come up with this now.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Changes?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is that a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See now-now youre taking them away from their home.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "In the game room!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Whoa!! Now look, dont be just blurtin stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why did you take the shower curtain down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?! Over a stupid room!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, we can handle this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Love is the best medicine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats laughter.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why do you do it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No-no, Im staying put.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why, where are you going?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey Rach!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh wow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, because of us! Because of our history.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Not at all!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?! We are?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! That would be great.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, \"Come back later, Im gettin lucky.\" (Laughs.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats very funny!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the roomrepresents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'm not so worried.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, no, me neither.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You still want to move in together right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross didnt scare you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come here, I want to show you something!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! Someones killed Square Man!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say \"Merge?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-hmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I love that!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, no!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fighting?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ive been back and forth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, \"Oh thats okay. Youll find someone.\" And then, bamn! She finds you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, m-maybe youre right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is that what I want?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Here she comes. Hold on, Im gonna make your life much easier.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, well the place was closed. Ill just copy it later.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thursdays clearly not good for ya, pick a day!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay! Here we go. Pillow.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Very good! Okay. G.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Excellent! Okay umm, doggy.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And its a magnet!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look at that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, I know what youre thinking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "OhmyGod! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, \"Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?\" \"Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?\" \"When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?\" You want her!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! (Rosss phone rings.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No-no, I bought those.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (Rachel walks away.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(under her breath) That youre a liar. (Hides the candlesticks in a drawer.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, who wouldnt?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? \"Professor Geller.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Professor and Mrs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And Mrs.?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just kidding!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Saved your ass.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, whats the matter?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you know that psychic I see?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe thats crazy!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe she would say that too you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey everyone!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) \"There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(continuing) \"subcategories. The first of these subcategories is\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) \"There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why dont you open with a joke?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Open with a joke? Its a university, not a comedy club!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(gets up) Okay!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Some uh, some visual aides.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Please dont say naked chicks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats the way I did it til I was 19.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Any good mail?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(opens and reads it) \"Benefits lapsed.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Let me see that!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. Im gonna go see my agent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, what-what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Monica!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hmm? (Rachel holds up the candlesticks.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did-did you take these back?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I loved them!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hello!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Howd the lecture go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, \"Ross you have to be funny and sexy.\" Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That youre not funny or sexy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats right!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey Estelle, listen", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Bastard!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats wrong with you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats a hernia.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, but yknow we could sneak in and watch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What the hell are you doing?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and not a very good one.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will you-will you please?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just please stop!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and lets just get that thingpushed back in.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh Joeys got a really bad hernia, but thats nothing a little laser eye surgery wont fix!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on MarriedWith Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Maybe youll die!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure, now Im scared.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but I dont wanna die!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Gimme em!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! They are mine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You stole them from me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You stole them from me!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Gimme them!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You just wanna each take one?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theyre not listening too me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think you look fine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. \"Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you.\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) \"Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Exactly.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, okay. (Leaves)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, come on, do it one more time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) \"Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?! How do you know?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, Im sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Listen, Im really glad you got the part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(barely audible through the pain) Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But are you sure you can do this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Now, is that never talking about it again?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to the director) Hiya!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Take could care of your Momma son.\" (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) \"Take could care of your Momma son.\" (Alex does nothing.) \"Come on son! Your Mommas good people!\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. (Starts screaming.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(he stops screaming at action) \"Take good care of your Momma son.\" (Again Alex does nothing.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(answering it) Hello?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh no, hes not. Can I take a message?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross got married againNooooooo!!!!!!!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Have you really done this before?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, all right.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look I was going to tell you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre kidding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(overdoing it) Oh my God!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, I told her you already knew.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Another lie. You have a sickness!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You left a shoe here?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Great! Thanks. (Exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(not enthused) Yeah, all right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, its not mine.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe you could be my roommate!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well theres an idea!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, she said shed be back December 26th.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "December 26th, huh maybe shes Santa Clause.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay Rach, but", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Op! Youre peeping!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look I told you", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont wanna hear \"Three failed marriages!\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about the time I said we were on a break?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh! (Stares at him.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Pheebs, hows it going?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What do you mean?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shocking! Since you still have the keys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What equity investments?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You dont even have a car!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And six others.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There you are.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, she tops out at 130.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Sure!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, take it easy.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now Im just polishing her up.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, but its my wax.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why not?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, so did I.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I can still do that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How are you still single?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good. What made you change your mind?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did that happen?!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Fine, Im mentally unstable.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh yes, heroin and crack.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you would know.", "role": "assistant" } ]