conversations
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[
{
"content": "Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I guess.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(sees the table) Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Guess!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Umm, a flea market?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohh, yes.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yknow? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Almost.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "How much was it?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It was only 500 bucks.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "500 bucks at a flea market?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh no.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "A dollar?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, what period is it from?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Uh, its from yore. Like the days of yore. Yknow?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(gasps) White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey! Were here!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You like it?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh no!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Its my new apothecary table!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well why not?! Shell-shell love it! Its the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Why did you do that?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Because she hates Pottery Barn.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "She hates Pottery Barn?!!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh, yeah! I still cant believe she hates Pottery Barn!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ross, get over it! Its not like she hates you.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Huh. Yknow whats not one of a kind? A twin!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay. HeyOoh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Sure!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "He got it a flea market!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hi!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually its just gonna be me again tonight.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What happened to Janine?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh thats too bad.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, shes been in there all day (Points to her room), uh high fever, a nose problem Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Kay!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No-no, she really is sick!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Then why-why is she going to a play?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(loudly) What?!! (Quietly) What?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And I am not blah, I am a hoot!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I know! I know! Come on, please-please you guys, dont-dont be mad. Im sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Yknow? And it was our first date! Plus, shes really sick!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No, you shNo you said you made that up!!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Come on you guys, come on please-please just give her another chance, huh? Shell come around I promise.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Of course we will, come on we gotta make dinner.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(from the hallway) I do not like that woman!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(shouting) I can hear you!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am loud!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new(On Rachels glare)old sheet?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohh!!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "My apothecary table!!!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ross, where did you get this?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wow! Oh my God, well if theyve ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh yes.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well this doesnt even smell like opium.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, one more time.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Perfect decibel.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(loudly) I know!!!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "So uh, what are you guys doing?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh nothing, were just talking. Yknow, blah-blah-blah.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, Id like to but, (extremely quietly) Im not sure we have time to go.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "We owe you?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, \"No!\")",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You dont think I know that!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I know, I know. I went a little crazy.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ah!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well theres yore. And uh, yknow, yesteryear.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh honey he doesnt need my help.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, come on! I think hes ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No! I do want to!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, she does want to.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "She does want to.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ugh, those bastards! Lets go.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and thewait a sec! This is our exact living room!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have thethat lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay! Okay-okay lookno I did, I just wanted this stuff and I know how you feel about Pottery Barn. Just Come on dont be mad.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I cant! I cant! Unless Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didnt buy that lamp?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?! No! Im not gonna move out!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "But are you saying that you would move out if I didnt buy that lamp?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Thats right!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "But at least the apothecary table is real.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, this-this-this was great. Didnt everybody have a great time?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Thats totally understandable.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Dont worry about it.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Absolutely!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh well then, good night!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Good night! (They go into their respective apartments.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "See? Eh, wasnt that fun?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(bursting in) I knew it!! Yknow, youre not so quiet yourself, missy!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) \"Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Lets go! Right now!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What did I tell you about the hall?!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Now come on. (They hug like men.) Well, Im glad we worked things out.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Bye. (Leaves to resume her garbage removal task.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(chasing her) Youd better run!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Did you hear that?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah uh, what am I gonna do?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, Im sorry man. (Pause) You wanna go watch?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! (They head downstairs.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "How ya doin?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey so, did uh, did she move out?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Pretty much, yeah.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, when its not right, you know it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You okay?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! Yeah. Ill be all right.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yknow what would cheer you up?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Im giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(laughing hysterically) Youre right! That did cheer me up!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(showing them the page) Here, check it out. Its the first one, too.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I made that joke up.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, tell Dan, Thanks.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Seriously?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, you tell a lot of jokes!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, I guess.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Hey guys.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(jumping up from his chair) Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Its my joke.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Its my joke.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Lets go watch it at your place.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Joey, why is your cable out?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Whoa ho.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Sure.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Not so much.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(entering) Hey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(relieved) Its only you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Wh-wh-what are you doing?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "We are looking at a Playboy.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(thinks) I dont know.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Me neither.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Rachel.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You forget how many great songs Heart had.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, Im not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay (he goes to sit down).",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Thats a good idea.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Do you know whats a bad idea?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Picking Rachel.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Its coming from the living room.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(entering) Hey, you guys.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Monica, what are you doing?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I guess it was kinda funny.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(To Monica) Well, people are different.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I cannot believe her.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I know. Where do you wanna go eat?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Im sick of Japanese. Were not going there.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh, yeah, Ill take a coffee. Thanks, man.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "No, thank you.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You got it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Joey, what are you doing?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Joey, do you work here?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "See, now its weird again.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hah!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That true, I am flaky.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, totally.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Thats great. Good for you guys.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am not high maintenance!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I am not a pushover!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Who said you were?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, Im flaky. Ill say anything.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "So, youd hire me, right?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Its my joke.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Its my joke.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yknow, I dont think were going to settle this.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Lets have Monica decide.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey Mon.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Mon, get out here!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Why do I have to decide?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Because youre the only one that can be fair.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, Chandler, you go first.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Can I finish my story?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Do you want me to pick you?!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "See, I would never snap at you like that.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Continue.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Im not arguing with that.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, Ive heard enough. Ive made my decision.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Its your joke.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Is not.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi, Chandler. There you are.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hi, oh hi.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Really? Ive heard better.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ahhh! You are on my list.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(happily) Im off the list. (Sits on the couch.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wow! That is a bad audition.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "How-how did you lose your job here?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, what are ya gonna do?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Thats great. Thanks Rach.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I pick you, Phoebe.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, well, I kinda thought.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No way.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Im not answering that.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! Im getting more dates than ever!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah Joey that is so gross!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "How about a scone on the house baby?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(giggles) Im pretty.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey does anyone have any gum?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yknow what? Im good! Im good!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(entering) Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be at work?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Im so sorry youre sick.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Im not sick!! I dont get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings and for pansies!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Im gonna grab you some tissue.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I dont need a tissue! Im fine-d!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Im fine-d. Im fine-d! Yknow, its a really hard word to say.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yes?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh my God, Jill!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh my God, introduce us!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "This is Chandler. (Points at him.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "And you know Monica and Ross!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hi Jill.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Never mind, I got it.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Wow! What did he say?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Rach? (Points to Jill.)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You bought a boat?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Of course, yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ooh, I like cards.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(to a customer) Are you all finished here?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What?!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
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