bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I would love that job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! Whats goin on?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sorry Jill.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry-sorry Jill.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whatd you get?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow \"I want a job sweater.\" (Holds up the same sweater.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Apartment pants?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, you never heard of them?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, of course, of course Ive heard of them! Ross, what did you get?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A pajmena?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, wants a pajmena?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its a rug. (Jill winces.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Jill?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well. Hey", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) \"Im sorry!\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh stop.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, you stop!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Ill rest. But yknow if Im going to bed, then youre coming with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I dont you should say that even when youre healthy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a sexy voice) Come on. (Coughs loudly.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats up?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With Ross and Jill?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With Ross and my sister?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh there is no way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay then.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But great news about the apartment pants, huh?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thatll be $3.85.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) \"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(still singing) \"Amy! Happy birthday to you!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, not it here it isnt.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think youre gonna go out?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I just, Phoebe, said yknow thought she saw something between you guys.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Are-are you saying hes a geek?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No! No I, no Ross is not a geek!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah but, hes not your type.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "She-she died Jill.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(still sick) Chandler!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would you please get some rest!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(singing) \"Happy birthday to you!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What? No-no its her birthday!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "But it really", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Damnit! (Storms off.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Rach? Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did you tell your sister to ask me out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well yeah", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, \"Why not?!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh so-so not really never.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Chandler, I think Im sick.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! I really need your help!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine, Ill rub it on myself.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not now, Im sick!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh come on you big faker!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well that was before all the vaporizing action.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, if you really wanna have sex", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Worked like a charm.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi! Wh-what are you doing here?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I-I dont like it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Its kinda slutty.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah well, Im-Im a slut.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hi Jill!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi (sees Rachel and forgets her name for a moment).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel! Well, you-youre not at home, youre-youre-youre right here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. So well Ill umm, (To Rachel) Ill have her home by midnight.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why arent you home yet?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yes, its me! Sorry!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ugh, she is a slut!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hes taking off her coat!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, this is just terrible.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna(as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. (Squeaks again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey we know you steal our food.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Im good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Oh, are the drapes still closed hon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking) Is that a swing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh dont even ask!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yuck!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was like 5 years ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah you got 5 years left!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You wanna make it 6?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh Ross, hi! Hey, how are ya? There you are!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Gunther) Ill take a coffee. (To Ross) So how was your big date last night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I guess so.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, slides. (Laughs.) So really nothing happened.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right. Was it the, \"Please dont show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She asked-asked you out again?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you. Iyeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean after tomorrow night.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! Ill-Ill tell her tonight I cant see her anymore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You want me to call her right now?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah do it now, call right now.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(crying) This is my favorite part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) Yeah me too.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(crying) You didnt cry when Bambis mother died?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im not macho.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah youre right. I dont know what I was thinking.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I guess I just never really cried. Yknow? Im not a crying kind of guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on man theres gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Id be sad sure, but I wouldnt cry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, what if the puppy said, \"Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, Im rich!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where were your parents?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh they didnt want to come!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh Chandler!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Poor thing!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So that story doesnt make you cry?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Look, I dont cry! Its not a big deal! Okay?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, youre Phoebes fan!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Movies?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(laughs) I dont think so.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its not random, its Bob.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hm-mmm.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(changing the subject) Yknow Bob in Human Resources", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Im not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "In Human Resources!!!!!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre jealous of Princess Caroline?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do I have my own castle?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You didnt get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sort of", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Guys, whats going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe Buffay in Buffay", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, but you are dead inside.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right well, Id better take that back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wh-what, why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah youre right, we cantwe shouldnt watch this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Absolutely not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Probably just the first half.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Good for you Joe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Her ankle is what youre watching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well its hard to tell (Rachel gets up to get a closer look, only shes having some trouble.) Oh God, if she would just stop moving.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shes just doing her job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey sweetie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theres no back to this couch!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stop it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, \"I will always be with you,\" and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aww, I love you so", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is wrong with you?!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So you didnt mean any of that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No you robot!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Of course, what happened? (Lets her in.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, umm", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! Really?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, Id love to! Here, you wait right here and Ill go get the projector and my notes!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I havent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its Phoebe! Phoebe!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Youre making one right now!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I dont think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I would love that job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! Whats goin on?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sorry Jill.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry-sorry Jill.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whatd you get?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow \"I want a job sweater.\" (Holds up the same sweater.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Apartment pants?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, you never heard of them?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, of course, of course Ive heard of them! Ross, what did you get?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A pajmena?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, wants a pajmena?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its a rug. (Jill winces.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Jill?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well. Hey", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) \"Im sorry!\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh stop.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, you stop!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Ill rest. But yknow if Im going to bed, then youre coming with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I dont you should say that even when youre healthy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a sexy voice) Come on. (Coughs loudly.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats up?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With Ross and Jill?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With Ross and my sister?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh there is no way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay then.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But great news about the apartment pants, huh?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thatll be $3.85.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) \"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(still singing) \"Amy! Happy birthday to you!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, not it here it isnt.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think youre gonna go out?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I just, Phoebe, said yknow thought she saw something between you guys.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Are-are you saying hes a geek?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No! No I, no Ross is not a geek!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah but, hes not your type.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "She-she died Jill.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(still sick) Chandler!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would you please get some rest!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(singing) \"Happy birthday to you!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What? No-no its her birthday!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "But it really", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Damnit! (Storms off.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Rach? Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did you tell your sister to ask me out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well yeah", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, \"Why not?!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh so-so not really never.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Chandler, I think Im sick.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! I really need your help!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine, Ill rub it on myself.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not now, Im sick!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh come on you big faker!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well that was before all the vaporizing action.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, if you really wanna have sex", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Worked like a charm.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi! Wh-what are you doing here?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I-I dont like it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Its kinda slutty.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah well, Im-Im a slut.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hi Jill!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi (sees Rachel and forgets her name for a moment).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel! Well, you-youre not at home, youre-youre-youre right here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. So well Ill umm, (To Rachel) Ill have her home by midnight.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why arent you home yet?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yes, its me! Sorry!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ugh, she is a slut!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hes taking off her coat!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, this is just terrible.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna(as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. (Squeaks again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey we know you steal our food.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Im good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Oh, are the drapes still closed hon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking) Is that a swing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh dont even ask!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yuck!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was like 5 years ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah you got 5 years left!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You wanna make it 6?!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh Ross, hi! Hey, how are ya? There you are!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Gunther) Ill take a coffee. (To Ross) So how was your big date last night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I guess so.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, slides. (Laughs.) So really nothing happened.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right. Was it the, \"Please dont show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She asked-asked you out again?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you. Iyeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean after tomorrow night.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! Ill-Ill tell her tonight I cant see her anymore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You want me to call her right now?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah do it now, call right now.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(crying) This is my favorite part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) Yeah me too.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(crying) You didnt cry when Bambis mother died?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im not macho.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah youre right. I dont know what I was thinking.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I guess I just never really cried. Yknow? Im not a crying kind of guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on man theres gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Id be sad sure, but I wouldnt cry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, what if the puppy said, \"Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, Im rich!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where were your parents?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh they didnt want to come!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh Chandler!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Poor thing!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So that story doesnt make you cry?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Look, I dont cry! Its not a big deal! Okay?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, youre Phoebes fan!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Movies?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(laughs) I dont think so.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Its not random, its Bob.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hm-mmm.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(changing the subject) Yknow Bob in Human Resources", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Im not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "In Human Resources!!!!!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre jealous of Princess Caroline?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do I have my own castle?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You didnt get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Sort of", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Guys, whats going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Phoebe Buffay in Buffay", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, but you are dead inside.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right well, Id better take that back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wh-what, why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah youre right, we cantwe shouldnt watch this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Absolutely not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Probably just the first half.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Good for you Joe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Her ankle is what youre watching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well its hard to tell (Rachel gets up to get a closer look, only shes having some trouble.) Oh God, if she would just stop moving.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shes just doing her job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey sweetie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theres no back to this couch!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stop it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, \"I will always be with you,\" and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aww, I love you so", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is wrong with you?!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So you didnt mean any of that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No you robot!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Of course, what happened? (Lets her in.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, umm", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! Really?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, Id love to! Here, you wait right here and Ill go get the projector and my notes!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I havent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Its Phoebe! Phoebe!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Youre making one right now!", "role": "user" } ]