bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "(moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, is Monica here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And of course, crotchless panties.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw, I love that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You cant make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting him) Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nothing!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So what are you gonna do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do we have to make the entire thing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes! Why, did youyou forget to make yours?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sticking his head back in) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "But its $2,000.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What the hell was that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, youre a freak!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, so we werent prepared!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Unagi. Im always aware.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant figure out what to make Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because it says \"Captain Ross\" on the side and \"I hate Monica\" on the bottom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. (She does the finger thing.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure! Okay, you go first.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, come here! Come here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(momentarily terrified) Maybe well have to listen and see!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I love it! Thank you so much!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, you ready to open yours?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Its a sock bunny.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, you remember how I call you bunny?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I see. Yknow umm, Phoebe makes sock bunnies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, its okay. I dont", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are totally and completely 100% forgiven.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We have got to wash that! (Referring to the sock bunny.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You have done enough!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wanna wake up early and go get it for you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No you dontget it in black, not brown.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oop, your cake is ready!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oop!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Who the hell are you?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who the hell is Carl?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The only problem!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Pat Sajak?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yep!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alex Trebek?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, of course!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chuck Woolery?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Say it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Say we are unagi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its not something you are! Its something you have!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Say it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right Carl, were next. Now remember, what is not gonna be?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats us.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats right, $2,000.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Damnit Carl!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my good God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals. Tonight, No. 3, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, the mixed tape.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Its a great class.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No. No-no. No. What would you do next?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes thats right.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I tired attacking two women, did not work.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I am so, so, so, so sorry!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(not buying it) Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (They hug.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So, are we going in there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am!! (Enter her room and closes the door behind her.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Why is Ross doing that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "DANGER!!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We should help him!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I Well, I dont think they need any help.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, \"I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who wrote it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, is that against the rules?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but it is frowned upon.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I see.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Besides, theres a big age difference.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats a Movement class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah so, Tuesday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You just thought of that in there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre on the phone!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! How bad was it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you smiling about? What is so funny?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(startled) Yeah?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That was you?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What time?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh! So-so seriously, what time?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh well, its not so bad.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, how bad is it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hows your room Rach?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Isnt that mine?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah-ha!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, we only went out once.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You dated her!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not once!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(giggles) My friends name is Joey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The nerve huh?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Refill?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I have.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats that smell?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm, no. No.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm, its Cutie McPretty.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(pushing Elizabeth into a doorway) Burt!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So did you sleep well last night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Gum!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont use a curling iron.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks Monica!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Does that smell bother you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can smell it a little, bake the pie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So its okay to date a student.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. What-what should I do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey that is so sweet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I couldnt do it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You couldnt do it?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! Youre going out with her again!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Going out with who?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, Dana Keystone from college.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, that was Dana Caplin.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey! You didnt even know her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah whatever!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no! Stay! Stay! Because you-you should you-you-you should stay!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No-noReally?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well maybe there is one thing you can do.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, is Monica here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And of course, crotchless panties.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw, I love that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You cant make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting him) Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nothing!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So what are you gonna do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do we have to make the entire thing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes! Why, did youyou forget to make yours?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sticking his head back in) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "But its $2,000.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What the hell was that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, youre a freak!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, so we werent prepared!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Unagi. Im always aware.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant figure out what to make Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because it says \"Captain Ross\" on the side and \"I hate Monica\" on the bottom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. (She does the finger thing.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure! Okay, you go first.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, come here! Come here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(momentarily terrified) Maybe well have to listen and see!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I love it! Thank you so much!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, you ready to open yours?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Its a sock bunny.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, you remember how I call you bunny?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I see. Yknow umm, Phoebe makes sock bunnies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, its okay. I dont", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are totally and completely 100% forgiven.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We have got to wash that! (Referring to the sock bunny.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You have done enough!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wanna wake up early and go get it for you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No you dontget it in black, not brown.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oop, your cake is ready!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oop!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Who the hell are you?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who the hell is Carl?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The only problem!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pat Sajak?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yep!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Alex Trebek?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, of course!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chuck Woolery?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Say it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Say we are unagi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its not something you are! Its something you have!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Say it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right Carl, were next. Now remember, what is not gonna be?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats us.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats right, $2,000.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Damnit Carl!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my good God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals. Tonight, No. 3, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, the mixed tape.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Its a great class.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No. No-no. No. What would you do next?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes thats right.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I tired attacking two women, did not work.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I am so, so, so, so sorry!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(not buying it) Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (They hug.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So, are we going in there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am!! (Enter her room and closes the door behind her.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why is Ross doing that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "DANGER!!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We should help him!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I Well, I dont think they need any help.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, \"I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who wrote it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, is that against the rules?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but it is frowned upon.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I see.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Besides, theres a big age difference.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats a Movement class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah so, Tuesday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You just thought of that in there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre on the phone!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! How bad was it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you smiling about? What is so funny?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(startled) Yeah?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That was you?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What time?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh! So-so seriously, what time?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh well, its not so bad.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, how bad is it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hows your room Rach?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Isnt that mine?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah-ha!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, we only went out once.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You dated her!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not once!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(giggles) My friends name is Joey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "The nerve huh?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Refill?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I have.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats that smell?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Umm, no. No.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Umm, its Cutie McPretty.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(pushing Elizabeth into a doorway) Burt!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So did you sleep well last night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Gum!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I dont use a curling iron.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks Monica!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Does that smell bother you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can smell it a little, bake the pie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So its okay to date a student.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. What-what should I do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey that is so sweet.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I couldnt do it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You couldnt do it?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! Youre going out with her again!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Going out with who?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, Dana Keystone from college.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, that was Dana Caplin.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey! You didnt even know her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah whatever!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no! Stay! Stay! Because you-you should you-you-you should stay!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No-noReally?!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well maybe there is one thing you can do.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)", "role": "assistant" } ]