Datasets:
bpben
/
friends_script

Dataset card Data Studio Files
xet
Community
1
conversations
listlengths
1
62
[ { "content": "I knew you were likely to take a wife!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, whats going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I found a note on my door, \"Come to Monicas quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica and I are engaged.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God. (Hugs Chandler.) Congratulations.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where is she?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, \"Im gay! Im gay!\" Can I bring her in?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say thatI love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I mean it just wouldnt be myour-our night, if you all werent here to celebrate with meusDamnit!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "To Monica!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Yeah, youre on your own.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So when you said, \"Get up early,\" did you mean 1986?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys dont think I look 19?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, 19! We thought you said 90!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay everybody, lets go! Lets go!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh honey no, you ate it all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was afraid of that.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Know what I mean?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but I dont think we have time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure, you guys dont have this problem, youre made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You look great!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(quietly) Oh, thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You okay over there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know, yknow? I feel a little umm No, yknow what? Nevermind, Im gonna be fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! Happy Monicas night!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well thank you, you too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well sure. But I get married all the time so", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I guess. I-I I mean, do-do you think were ever gonna have that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You mean, weyou and me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no-no-no-no-no, no, no! We, you with someone and me with someone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh good, you scared me for a minute.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shake it off.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I meanno, its just cause, its just cause you and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, absolutely. Yknow like it was umm", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Surely you can think of something good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, just give me a minute! (Thinking) Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-hmm, uh-hmm, yeah, yeah, I really liked your hands.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My hands?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "One night, just-just sex. No strings attached?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, we never had that,", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, Im-Im sure it would be amazing but Igotta say I really-really dont think it would be a good idea. Yknow? I really, reallydont.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Sup? Sup dude?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(putting his hands up) Take whatever you want, just please dont hurt me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on man, really how old?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhh, youve had a lot of sex right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When? Today? Some, not a lot.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt. There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont worry about that man, that happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its happened to you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Once.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, whatd you do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I did it anyway.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fair enough, now go get ready!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (She goes to get ready.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, Monica. Mon, uh what-what you just saw", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(interrupting) Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh honey, but it is just about", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is! It is!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See yeah umm, you kinda stole my thunder!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats true.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey I swear it we just kissed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thunder being stolen!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look lets not make a big deal out of this! It was a one time thing. It doesnt even matter!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys kissed! Oh mythis is huge!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No-no, its really not huge.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, were still talking about it, arent we?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes that would be lovely.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, you can pass for 19.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Seriously?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Seriously? Seriously, no! You can play your own age which is 31!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(gasps) Im 30!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, you are not! Youre 31.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(realizes) Aww crap!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, Monica, this is ridiculous! Look", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Psss, that is whack!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, \"You look 19,\" and then they just take it away like-like, \"No you dont.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I dont think Monica is gonna take this away.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wouldnt she?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Would she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would she? (He smells something and gasps as he realizes what it is.) You ate my candy bar!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Guess who? (Enters fully.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Still thinking about it huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? (Mimicking Monica.) Especially you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(loosening his tie) Oh, who cares?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I care!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(tightening his tie) And so do I.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. Sure. (Sits down on her bed.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Am I going to let you watch me undress?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting up) No! (Exits.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I cant believe her, yknow its justits so typical.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Paris?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la (mumbles something).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Keep talking.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love you!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in a French accent) Bonjour, monsieur.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, dont say anything, you might scare it away.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its Paris, who knows were here!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(opening the door) Hi Pheebs, whats up? (She enters.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, Im just gonna need a small deposit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs, were not giving you a deposit for our wedding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I see. (Exits angrily.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "They break your heart, dont they?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow, I dont really their permission.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you You gotta do something about your eyes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They give you away! Theres just-theres just too much wisdom in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And thatll get rid of my wisdom?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe just 10 minutes for you.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I dont care!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didnt want to talk to anyone, especially me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Monica, what are you talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Ahh, third base.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its all everybody at the party could talk about!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gasps) We had a characturist!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(singing, angrily)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And yet, here we are doing it again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ugh, Monica I dont want to steal your stupid thunder!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Got me. (He shows of his hands.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just thought it would be nice if I could have just this one night!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(ignoring them) Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from your night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, somebody should. (Monica glares at him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Look uh, if were gonna do this", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Were not gonna do this, all right? Shes just gonna think that were doin it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I see, so everybody wins.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Who is it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(outside the door) Its Monica, open up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oww!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How is that ever going to happen?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know why!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No you dont know why!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! Why?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because! Because I was sad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do you mean?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I am soso happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyway sweetie, I am, Im so sorry I ruined your night.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(at the door) And uh, Rachel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(singing)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(interrupting her just in time) Hey! Heres a dollar, consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (Goes back to bed.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now (Starts singing again) \"Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who wants French toast?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, Ill have some!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering from her room) Oww!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats the matter honey?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It starts?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, so lets get started on the wedding plans!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Runs off.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(incredulous) Already?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I got some thoughts on that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(returning) Okay! (Sets down a huge 3\" 3-ring binder on the table.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What in Gods name is that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "NothingWhy?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, you said it was urgent!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right umm, a string quartet for the procession.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, the duck", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! The duck?! What the hell did the damn duck do now?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Here you go! What do you think about centerpieces?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Centerpieces!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Roses or Lilies? (Holds up a picture of each.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think theyre a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Its like one mind.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now Joey, what did the duck do?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar(Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his(Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh, Phoebe", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Ross, hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, what are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry, Im with a client right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, lets talk outside.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And they knew about it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Joey, what cha doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sweepin. Why? Turn you on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, did you my face cream?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where do you think, (pause) Zelda?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(gasps) You found my book?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah I did!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a littleerotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You got porn!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Can I, can I help you with something?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(deadpan) Yes I am.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yeah, I should probably call them.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh dad, really you dont need to", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What a sweet story.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You bought the beach house when I was 23!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What about when I started dating Chandler?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well what happened at dinner?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My parents spent the money for our wedding!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gasps) My God! What did you order?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, its gonna be okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you even understand what off the rack means?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How? I dont have any money.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I have some.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How much?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa!!! Are you kidding me?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well what?! How-how much is it?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its enough for wedding scenario eight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! (Whispers.) Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, youre not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is the most special day of our lives.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You-youre gonna have to put your foot down?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, I am!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Rach.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(quietly) Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey Rach, do you smell smoke?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well no, I dont smell anything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nothing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow, I can not believe you told him, Joey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(incredulous) I gave him an extremely professional massage!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what? This is your fault! Youre the one that didnt move his-his appointment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He said he liked that!! Oh youre right, youre right. Im sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "His daughter was hot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Gotcha.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ehh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, you work for that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, youre so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You thought about that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How many kids were we gonna have?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What else did you think about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs) Yknow what? I-I dont want a big, fancy wedding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure you do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You sure?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-hmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you so much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, totally!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh good.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello, Zelda.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who are you supposed to be?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The vicar!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you even know what a vicar is?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Like a goalie, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(nervously backing away) I-I-I-I did? (He puts a stool in front of her.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This body? (He backs into the kitchen.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont want to, Im scared.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, you guys!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, what do you think?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "About what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandlers eyes!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got glasses!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you-youve always had glasses.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No I didnt!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you sure?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Feminine.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course! (She mouths, \"I have no idea,\" to the rest of the gang.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So what do you guys want for an engagement present?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yknow what you should get em? One of those little uh, portable CD players.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I already have one.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I know I what I want!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What we want honey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, you dont want this. I want to have your grandmothers cookie recipe.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-huh, yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dying people say the craziest things.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Break my heartOh, all right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Im gonna be the mom that makes the worlds best chocolate chip cookies.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Ahoy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Hows the boat?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Great! Im finally getting into this sailing stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You could?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Ive been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Your own boat?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Do you know what I was thinkin?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh why, do you have a lecture?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then free as a bird. Whats up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah and he didnt really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, did-did you correct him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He hates to lose.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no problem, maybe Ill play with my left hand.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre not a lefty?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does anybody know me?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Whats wrong Phoebe?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, we have to get you an engagement present?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont worry about it Pheebs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No one got me an engagement present.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "An old cookie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We cant accept this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Cause its gross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! I bet I can do it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, we owe you a present.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Two! Ive been engaged twice!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That is the Coast Guard.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, just ignore the boats all right? Were not finished with the lesson yet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Im just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, boat rope.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhh, rub it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. What do you do if I say we are coming about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Id say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Times up, now your dead.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And deaf!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, I definitely taste nutmeg.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That and arrogance.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! How was sailing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(recoils in horror) Women are mean!!! (Storms out.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering with Chandler) Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! How was it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And what did he ask you not to call him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Guys?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Over here. (You can see Ross sitting at the far wall.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God Chandler! I cant believe it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You gave my father a lap dance!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why do they put so much steam in there?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, its not that big a deal!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not that big a deal? Therethere was touching of things.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont want him to tell this story for years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wasnt escaping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was trying to help out a squirrel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were trying to eat it!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(getting up) All right, Im off to see your dad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughing) Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know. Yknow, they didnt get us anything.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well hello! So, when are we gettin back out on the water matey?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh uh, I dont know the boat way to say this, but uh never!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because! Youre mean on the boat!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? I was just trying to teach you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Does a good teacher say, \"Put down the beer pinhead!?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, yknow what? I-Im sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You wont boss me around anymore?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wont boss you around.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And youll be nice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And, Ill be nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And youll be topless?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "AndJoey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you want me to learn?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, heres batch 22. Ohh, maybe thesell taste a little like your grandmothers. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Lets give it a shot.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Man, I have not made this many cookies since I was in the ninth grade.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, just a Friday night.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh, these are pretty good.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Which one was that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The ones we had right after you almost threw up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. (Burps a little bit.) Im okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nope.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know why you just dont say left.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hurrying over) Okay! Okay, youre yelling again! See that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No-no, no-no-no, very quiet, said with love, no yelling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yknow, when we did that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What do you mean you quit?! You cant quit!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Greens? Im a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, hey I did learn.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Come on.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Awww", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Left.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Damnit!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Looking up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeahNo, she was really nice to me, but shes in hell for sure.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aww, Pheeb, come on isnt there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats what you think.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was her name?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nesele Toulouse.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nestle Tollhouse?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a littleIm a little embarrassed about it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What did you do when they found out?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So I guess we wear swimsuits in here!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh were not sailing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just pull on it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What else?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hands him one) Here you go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh whoops.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Careful! Youre wasting good pastrami! (Gasps.) Oh my God! Im my dad!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its your mommy. Its your mommy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohhhh", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well that was ummOkay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It wasnt the best.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wh-what are we gonna tell him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, the lighting was okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And I have costumes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh great! That means Im stuck with, \"So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What are you gonna do Pheebs?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And say nothing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh, yeah thats right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? You mean behind my back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, so anyway Im sittin in my office and guess who walks in.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im gonna be on two TV shows!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you werent finished?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh Rach, if youre gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its the same story.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Still get a discount on wedding dresses?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im so happy for you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, these really are the days of our lives.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gasps) Oh God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I gotI get a big pay raise!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oooh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I get to hire my own assistant!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.", "role": "assistant" } ]