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[ { "content": "I cant look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I know.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, there you are Ben!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh-huh, Im with Ben.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yknow, that party wasnt bad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! I didnt know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no, we cant walk!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hop on.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) AhOohOohhOhhOh GodOhhOhOhhOhhhh", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What college was that Dina?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Joey this is crazy!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh youll take em!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! You dont get a say in this!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ahhh! I heard \"I do\", were halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well what am I supposed to do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, come on kids! A little help here!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings penthat he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why else would I be here?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 oclock?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Concert. Yeah. That does put us inquite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, thank you. Four would be great.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(notices something in the window) Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Im sorry! Do you need a break?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the price?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Im sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pause) I dont have your boots.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well I dont have them either. Where are they?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, why dont you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (Climbs back on his back.) All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Dina) You were right. He is funny.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Dina) Really? (Nods her head at Bobby.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? Youre gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourselfwithout a husband?! You cant be a single mother alone! Youre gonna ruin your life!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh excuse me! Am I ruining my life?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Wellso-so uh, what kind of music does Numb NutsOh forget it! I cant!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well Id be scared of them, but all right.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Of course hes gonna have his Uncle Joey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats right! By his uncle too!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay Bobby, why dont we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! Seriously! Whats wrong with you?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Welllets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oo, where are the seats?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, middle balcony.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, now would you say that thats more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look at that guy by the window, wow!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes awfully short and I think hes talking to himself. And to be completely honest, hes not that good in bed.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?! So this has happened to you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, yknow, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a goodpill.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(pause) Together? Like-like to people?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (Not happy about it.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh sure, sure.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Bye.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. Can you believe that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait, Im-Im sorry. Whats the big deal about a holiday card?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey, hey thats your wife youre talking about!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No leg-chewing for us sir.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I cant think of anything were doing. (Quietly) Why cant I think of anything were doing?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, Ill see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know, were not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats because he wasnt invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Huh. Wow, this is great.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A hundred?! Well, I-I guess Ill take aMona, uhI-Im not sure about the whole uh, card thing.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Huh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hmm", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Lets do the card!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The card! I think were there!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really?! I mean, even with the card?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, you are.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No. Im very comfortable.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well would you like me to lie down on the table?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Do you feel it too?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey! So, how did your doctors appointment go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why did you do that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You wish.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I couldve had you if I wanted you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah? Come and get it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, even this is turning me on!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, yeah were moving forward. Youll be getting our card!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh! Women!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, \"So, where is this going?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh Ross? You asked me that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Like asking her to move in with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Smaller than that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Making her a mixed tape?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, bigger than that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Give her a key to your apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Have you said, \"I love you?\" You could say, I love you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I-I dont-I dont think Im quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, we hate that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is a slap in the face.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Its the semi-finalsof herbotchy ball tournament.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well now-now youre just talking crazy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Because uhwe-wewe split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Aw, we-we are so(Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer isis its going somewherefun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, well to sum up, were having fun, you look young.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "But thats not enough. So Soheres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Really.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You gave her a key to your apartment?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh great, I live on the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where?! (Ross exits.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi Roger.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, hes here to have sex with you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre welcome.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe no!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its okay, hes a virgin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, okay lets leave these two alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.", "role": "assistant" } ]