text string | humour_label int64 | language string |
|---|---|---|
"Johnny Depp looks good in that outfit! " "That's Diane Keaton." | 0 | en |
I had to return my Bonnie Tyler Sat Nav It kept telling me to turn around, and every now and then it fell apart | 0 | en |
War Machine is such a hard worker. That he even took his work home with him | 1 | en |
me: if santa is all knowing, then he could solve every crime but he just doesn't hostage: can i go to the bathroom me: no | 0 | en |
Passion of the cross was a great movie They really nailed it on the crucifixion sence. | 1 | en |
i want to pass away peacefully , in my sleep , like my grandpa did. not screaming in a car crash like the passengers in his car | 0 | en |
you know what really makes me smile? facial muscles . | 0 | en |
him : do you want to run away with me? me : we won't actually be running , right | 0 | en |
when a jehovah witness dies, heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home . | 1 | en |
Why Is A Man's Mind Dirtier Than A Woman's? A woman changes hers more often. | 0 | en |
I thought I broke my sewing machine... ...but it seams fine now. | 0 | en |
what does a dog see in the mirror? a chair | 1 | en |
What baked treat shares its name with a gynaecological apparatus? Flapjacks. | 1 | en |
So one physicist asks another physicist So what's new? The physicists responds, C over Lambda. | 1 | en |
SPOILERS: Finding Dory was just a Movie. about her for getting home | 0 | en |
If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material | 0 | en |
what did the ocd man get thrown in jail for? organized crime . | 1 | en |
if i ever start a customer service company, i'm going to name it ' hold please ' . | 0 | en |
Have you guys ever eaten Ethiopian food? Eh, that's okay. Neither have they. | 1 | en |
why was the pilot jealous of the chef? because of his ground thyme . | 0 | en |
Quitting smoking was the easiest thing I've ever done. I've done it hundreds of times | 1 | en |
Whenever I struggle with my identity, I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I find it's the best place for self reflection. | 1 | en |
Women love shy guys with some sensitive sensibilities. They also love confidence and assertiveness. So, have multiple personality disorder. | 1 | en |
Why was the Sun mad at all the clouds? Because they kept throwin shade | 0 | en |
what are you listening to right know? candy shop . | 0 | en |
I work as a Lie Detector for police interrogations. At least it's honest work | 1 | en |
If they want to increase the use of public transit, they should start using a scale at the DMV license renewal counter. | 1 | en |
What do you call a calm Asian man? A Mellow Yellow | 1 | en |
Chadwick Boseman was a real Chad Even though it is a DEAD meme | 0 | en |
I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You've probably seen our posters | 1 | en |
if my life flashes before my eyes, i hope it's not the special edition with all the deleted scenes i've blocked from my memory . | 1 | en |
another " iron man " joke iron man is a superhero. iron woman is a command | 1 | en |
Thousand Oaks? More like Hundred Oaks. | 0 | en |
"Pistorius" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would have use to make someone's legs disappear. This is Frankie Boyles joke, not mine | 0 | en |
Remember when we spent an entire year learning cursive? That's why the other countries are winning. | 1 | en |
did you hear about the underwater snooker player? he was a pool shark ! | 0 | en |
How do you turn a duck into a chart topping soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers | 1 | en |
Why aren't burgers too good at basketball? Too many turnovers! | 0 | en |
my new thesaurus arrived today , and it's terrible. and another thing , it's terrible | 0 | en |
I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe. But that would Just ruin the load | 0 | en |
how do you stop an angry rhino from charging? you take away its credit card | 1 | en |
what's large , grey and doesn't matter? an irrelephant . | 0 | en |
I think I'm going to adopt a kid. Recycling is important, after all | 1 | en |
I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable | 1 | en |
my favorite selfies are the ones people post of themselves looking off in the distance, like they didn't realize they were taking a selfie | 1 | en |
Every day me and my dog go for a tramp in the woods We enjoy it, but the tramp's getting a bit fed up | 1 | en |
I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke. But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp | 0 | en |
There is a special species of bird that is really good at holding stuff together. They're called velcrows | 1 | en |
Wanna hear a joke about eye fluid? It's vitreous humor. | 0 | en |
So I saw a truck called 'The Morse Deliverers' reversing yesterday, For some reason it just kept on saying 'S' | 1 | en |
What's the best thing about cot death? You get a good night's sleep before you find out. | 1 | en |
what's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? you can roast beef , but you can't pee soup . | 0 | en |
what do you call a blind deer? no eye deer | 1 | en |
Why don't blind people have an opinion? Because they dont have a point of view. | 1 | en |
What's the difference between my Dad and an elevator? An elevator can support a family. | 1 | en |
If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims | 1 | en |
The flat earth theory is somewhat true As many people saw the end of their world on top of Mt Everest | 1 | en |
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered | 1 | en |
whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? one has hope in her soul , the other has soap in her hole . | 0 | en |
Women think that they can do the same things as men. But they haven't successfully oppressed an entire gender | 1 | en |
When I was younger I used to learn a new word and then find ways to awkwardly shoehorn it into conversation. Talk about a classic bildungsroman | 1 | en |
Difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? I can actually believe that there's a painting of Jesus | 1 | en |
What is the only car that can actually get you girls? A pickup truck | 1 | en |
what do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? a widow . | 1 | en |
why is it bad for blind people to skydive? it scares the hell out of the dog | 0 | en |
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas ! | 0 | en |
I just got married today It's unreal. I can still remember the the exact moment when every woman in the world became instantly more attractive | 0 | en |
santa is always jolly, he knows where the naughty girls live . | 0 | en |
You hear about the guy who got lost in Africa? He didn't know where Togo. | 0 | en |
Why did the African man stop sipping his cup of water? He realised it's for the whole family to share | 1 | en |
i love dry erase boards. they're remarkable | 1 | en |
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge | 1 | en |
why wasn't jesus born in the usa? because god couldn't find three wise men and a virgin . | 0 | en |
Urban Outfitters: the most expensive way to look poor. | 1 | en |
Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle? To fit in the box. | 0 | en |
A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. "It wasn't my fault! " credit to my awesome science teacher | 0 | en |
Why are elephants wiser than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant | 1 | en |
I took a piano lesson with Elton John. He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool | 1 | en |
my wife told be that i don't understand the concept of irony. which was ironic because we were in the car at the time | 1 | en |
I'm going to rewrite history. History | 0 | en |
oh , you're straight? well , so is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet . | 0 | en |
lpt: what to do when someone is having a seizure in a bathtub throw in a load of laundry . | 0 | en |
An emo and leaf falls, which lands first? The leaf because the emo got stopped by the rope | 0 | en |
if you leave without a reason, don't bother coming back with an excuse . | 0 | en |
What is the difference between a freezer and a kid? One of them still works when you pull the meat out. | 1 | en |
i finally read to the end of the dictionary today. it turns out the zebra did it for me | 1 | en |
TIFU by quitting my job as a train driver and downing a bottle of ketchup. I went off the rails and straight on the sauce | 1 | en |
Staying in every night and watching sitcom reruns, it's like every night is Prom Night. | 1 | en |
A new study has proven. A new study has proven that people who have more birthdays live longer | 1 | en |
What is a java programmers favorite bird? A BlueJ | 0 | en |
i just found a halloween candy on my lawn and ate it. so i guess i am able to live off the land if i ever needed to | 1 | en |
What did the little boy with no limbs get for Christmas? Cancer. | 0 | en |
What will they now use on photos for LGBT magazines? an airbroosh | 1 | en |
I heard a tree talking to me the other day, but I couldn't understand what it was saying... then I realized I was in vietnam. | 0 | en |
My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie. | 1 | en |
what do you call your mum who is shorter than you? a minimum . | 1 | en |
You can call me a bike Because I love it when people ride me but I love it even more when little kids ride me | 0 | en |
some people have a way with words, others not have way . | 1 | en |
What band was Harambe In? Gorillaz | 0 | en |
Why do I vape? It's how I let off a little steam. | 1 | en |
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