text
string | humour_label
int64 | language
string |
|---|---|---|
what do you do when a chemistry teacher dies? barium
| 1
|
en
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How to bring pacman to life Scratch your head and think of the Wakas. Soon you'll see pacman while brushing your teeth
| 0
|
en
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It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle. Until one side mysteriously disappeared
| 1
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en
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I really want to buy one of those grocery store check out dividers... But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back.
| 0
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en
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What did the boys do ToGetHer? Roam And Tick things..
| 0
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en
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just checked weather . if anyone is curious what's in my wardrobe, find me tomorrow . i will be wearing every article of clothing i own .
| 1
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en
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My girlfriend wanted a so we got one They've been going at it for too long now
| 0
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en
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Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels? Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!
| 0
|
en
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Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum? He was just minding his Ps and Qs.
| 1
|
en
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What did the Golden Gate bridge say to the Golden Gate river when they broke up? I'm over you.
| 0
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en
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i tried to catch some fog. but i mist
| 0
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en
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for lent i've decided to give up my new year's resolutions, now pass the girl scout cookies .
| 0
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en
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How do you keep a blonde busy for years? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.
| 0
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en
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Corrected: What do you call India's top TV Show? Dan Singh with the Sitars
| 1
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en
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Where did the farmer find his missing baby horse? In the foliage.
| 0
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en
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YouTube is the nicest company ever. They just want to even the playing field so their competitors have a chance to catch up to them
| 1
|
en
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I'm so terrified of asking my wife to clean up after cooking breakfast that... I've been walking on eggshells all day long!
| 0
|
en
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If I had a dollar for every gender. I'd have two dollars
| 1
|
en
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What's a surfers favorite move A Sandy Hook
| 1
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en
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What's Michael J. Fox's favorite drink? a milkshake
| 0
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en
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Ever since Jim got cancer, he's been feeling really crabby
| 0
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en
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Tried to phone the huge thumb helpline. Dialled the wrong number.
| 0
|
en
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what is the smallest mall? small !
| 0
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en
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Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements? The liter.
| 1
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en
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when i was young i was scared of the dark. now when i see my electricity bill i am scared of the lights
| 1
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en
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The food in our school canteen is perfect. If your a bug!
| 1
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en
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What's an Xbox fanboys' least favourite film? P.S. I Love You
| 0
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en
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I just gave my new secretary a sexy dress for her first week's salary. Next week, I'm going to raise her salary
| 1
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en
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Old musicians don't die. They just decompose
| 1
|
en
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what does a tornado and a woman have in common? it starts with a little blowing but at the end your house is gone
| 0
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en
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Why do fireman take out the people from building before they put the fire out by water? Because bros before hose.
| 1
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en
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What does s funeral and wedding have in common After the ceremony a stiff gets buried
| 1
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en
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What makes a salami excited? When the ham is cured!
| 0
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en
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really? everybody was kung fu fighting
| 1
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en
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what do you call a kid who tells bad jokes? a redditor
| 1
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en
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what do you get when you cross an insomniac , an agnostic , and a dyslexic? someone who stays up all night , wondering if there is a dog .
| 1
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en
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Mercury Remember when Freddie Mercury said,"Don't stop me now"? Guess nobody did.
| 1
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en
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Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
| 0
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en
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as a german i have to ask : you know what really grinds my gears? nothing . our engineering is perfect .
| 1
|
en
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What do you call the excessive bleeding after an abortion or miscarriage? The fountain of youth
| 1
|
en
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love is blind, said the blind to the deaf i can see that .
| 0
|
en
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I don't have a sense of entitlement. but I deserve one
| 0
|
en
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i used to think no one cared what i have to say. then i joined reddit now i know it's true
| 0
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en
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I went to a blind tasting session the other day. It was a waste of time, they tasted the same as people who can see
| 1
|
en
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hey kevin , why do you like fungi on your pizza? cause i'm a vegetarian .
| 0
|
en
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I need to order faster internet then :D Lag makes you violent, not the games :D
| 0
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en
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The colour you see when you close your eyes Yeah same as those people that you think about autobot
| 1
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en
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What is Chris Brown's favorite cooking appliance? A Black and Decker
| 0
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en
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i went to a wedding for two antennae The ceremony was pretty bad, but the reception was amazing
| 1
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en
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My friend abandoned me because I'm insecure No wait, he's back. He just went to get some water.
| 0
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en
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What is a creationist's favorite button in pokemon? B to cancel evolution
| 0
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en
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My aunts zodiac sign was cancer funny, the way she died... Killed by a giant crab
| 0
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en
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do you know why women love zombies? because zombies love what's on the inside , not the outside !
| 1
|
en
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A person went to the firing range It was a teacher only day
| 1
|
en
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What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico? Kindergarten dropout.
| 1
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en
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toast i'd like to propose a toast, but i'm all out of bread .
| 1
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en
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What becomes packed between periods? School Hallways
| 1
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en
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Hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for; like happiness and perfect abs.
| 0
|
en
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what did the atlantic say to the pacific? nothing . it just waved .
| 1
|
en
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when i wake up every morning , things always go well. i'm like the optimistic amputee who always starts his day off on the right foot
| 1
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en
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HR: Can you explain this. Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes
| 0
|
en
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Puns leave me numb. Mathematical puns leave me number
| 1
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en
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what's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? you should know , you've only read it twenty times .
| 0
|
en
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Sequencing. What's the key to a good joke?
| 0
|
en
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Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his saw? He got a little behind in his business.
| 1
|
en
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what do you call a dwarf psychic on the run? a small medium at large .
| 1
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en
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How did Hellen Keller break her arm? Reading a sign on the highway
| 0
|
en
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how many canadians does it take to change a light bulb? none , they don't change light bulbs , they accept them the way they are .
| 1
|
en
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Me: Woohoo, I survived Thanksgiving! I can relax now. Anxiety: Haha...Christmas.
| 0
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en
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hy haven't you ever seen any elephants hiding up trees? Because they're really, really good at it.
| 1
|
en
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Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest natural resources which must be preserved at all costs
| 1
|
en
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what's the best thing to bring to your holiday party? a christmas tree . because they're lit .
| 1
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en
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Kennedy can drive a dodge But he can't dodge a bullet
| 0
|
en
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When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside
| 1
|
en
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I don't care that i can't scrape cheese. I have grater problems to worry about.
| 0
|
en
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Four out of five dentists recommend brushing to deal with plaque. The other one recommends attaching a lion head to it
| 1
|
en
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Learn to solve your problems like a constipated mathematician. Just work it out with a pencil
| 0
|
en
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i just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together english .
| 0
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en
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What's the difference between a Snickers and my girlfriend? Snickers satisfies.
| 1
|
en
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Come over to the Nerd side. We have Pi
| 0
|
en
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what do you call an english teacher who used to have anxiety? past tense .
| 1
|
en
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did you hear about the murder of the door maker? the police said it was an open and shut case .
| 1
|
en
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When Egypt had no internet, it was called Gypt.
| 1
|
en
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I have to give up spreadsheets for forty days. Excellent.
| 0
|
en
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My wife just told me to put the toilet seat down. I don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place
| 1
|
en
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Why did Kevin's Ice cream fall down? Because he was hit by a truck
| 0
|
en
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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven acht nein.
| 0
|
en
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anyone hungry? i read there's some leftover cat .
| 0
|
en
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I dont trust atoms. I heard they make up everything
| 0
|
en
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what's the best thing about switzerland? i don't know , but their flag is a big plus .
| 1
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en
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A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. The librarian tells him he'll only lose it
| 1
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en
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Once you hit the speed of light... Once you hit the speed of light, you have infinite mass. So you know what? That's my problem: I'm not fat, I'm fast.
| 1
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en
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Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He's OK now
| 0
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en
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Taco Bell is planning on doubling the 'meat' in their ingredients. Unlike Cadbury, they're informing us in advance
| 1
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en
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America, a land. where many people think the moon landings were fake but professional wresting is real
| 1
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en
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I like my men like I like my chess players. They know how to make an opening
| 1
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en
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what do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier? a drill sergeant
| 1
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en
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What is relationship of Buddhism and reposts. ? When someone starts a joke with Buddhism it will end up with reposts.
| 1
|
en
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Missed Connection: You were attractive. I awkwardly overreacted to your presence
| 0
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en
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" how do you know that god isn't a woman? " because i'm not a sandwich .
| 1
|
en
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