id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
8Nj9nq2vPXz6w5z5Gbib6BOtsYIaFoY4 | ay5l0q | {
"description": "pouring hot water on my \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for pouring hot water on my “friend”. | Sorry for formatting, on mobile.
So this happened probably around a decade ago, I was around 8 or 9 and I had this “friend” Matthew, he was more of just a kid we hung out with cause we were kids and hung out with whoever we could in our neighborhood, but anyway, onto the story.
So Matthew liked to aggravate me, he found it fun to see me get in trouble for getting mad, and one day he went a little too far and got me REALLY mad about something, can’t remember what but I just about had steam coming out my ears. I had recently gotten a super soaker and had so much fun with it, plus it was summer so it was a fun way to cool off.
So I go into my house and get my super soaker and fill it with SCALDING hot tap water, planning to spray Matthew with the water. After it was full I ran outside to spray him, and I do a few times. He has almost no reaction probably because the air cooled the water before it hit him, and this only gets me angrier, so I open the super soaker and pour as much as I can on his back, he gasps in shock and does a weird forward bend to avoid having more on him, then he takes off (he was walking his bike home but he decided to ride after that...)
As he’s riding up the street he starts yelling for his dad, now his whole family is kinda nuts, his dad would often ride loud dirt bikes around the neighborhood late into the night, Matthew and his mom once showed up uninvited to my birthday party, his parents hated me and were just general assholes. So his dad hears him yelling and I go pale in the face and run into my house, meanwhile Matthews dad is screaming for me to “DON’T FUCKING MOVE LITTLE SHIT! I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!” Stuff like that.
So a minute later he knocks and my mom answers, I have to apologize to Matthew AND my super soaker gots thrown away. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
5aVm5y9EtQ8mePfn8mB5FFoOqDiJecOQ | 9x1qhc | {
"description": "getting an employee fired",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For getting an Employee Fired? | This happened a little over a year ago but I am curious to see Reddit's opinion on this because half of my friends think I was the asshole, and the other half think I was doing my job...
I am a former employee of Sprint, while working for Sprint I was a keyholder/floor manager. So I helped maintained the other reps in store, had special managerial codes and sat in all manager meetings. Anyways we had hired a rep in the summer of 2017 (Gonna call him Big D). Big D started and right away me and him had issues, he couldn't close his float the right way, he was a sleazy salesman who consistently messed up customer phone accounts which I had to always fix. So all around we never liked each other, but I put up with it. Until last fall. Big D was heading to lunch and was going around boasting about how he was going to get super drunk and messed up while on lunch so that his afternoon was easier. Well at Sprint there is a no drinking on the job policy, the only time you could drink was at store parties after hours when off the clock. As soon as I caught wind of Big D saying he was going to get drunk on lunch, I immediately reported it to my assistant store manager, store manager, and district manager. He obviously came back into work drunk, was immediately pulled into the main office and suspended while an internal review went underway. He was fired two days later and was jobless with two kids. I sort of felt bad but really didn't either cause he did it to himself. Last I heard he found a job at a grocery store... sooooo AITA for getting this man fired? Or did I save a lot of people from a headache? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
avS1ZxO8EwLgzAkhEcUxaLAElQcbQ2nR | aaepx2 | {
"description": "ghosting one of my best friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for ghosting one of my best friends? | I've known my best friend (I'll call her Stacy for this post's purpose) for about 8 years. She had a rough childhood, and I kinda grew up being her support system. She has always been very emotionally draining to all her friends, starts drama, etc. Over the years she has lost most of her friends (our mutual friends) because of this, but I've stuck around. Recently it's been getting more difficult to stick around.
About 6 months ago, her shitty boyfriend broke up with her, and kind of to rebound she decided to start sleeping with a man who is twice her age. I am very uncomfortable with this, I think that this kind of behavior gets girls into very abusive situations, and she has a history of picking bad dudes. She can do what she wants, but she was constantly asking me for my advice. When I told her, she would say "you're right but I'm going to do it anyway". She starts sleeping with her ex, and asks me for my advice, I tell her, then she tells me she is gonna do it anyway. She starts doing drugs and skipping her college classes, then complains when she gets bad grades and a drinking ticket. She starts sleeping with her only other long term friend's ex boyfriend. When the friend finds out Stacy is doing with that, she gets mad, they "friend break up" and then Stacy proceeds to be extremely cruel to her on social media (calls her a c*nt publicly). Stacy calls me all the time to break down, ask me for advice, then tell me she will ignore it anyway. It's getting hard to watch her ruin her life and not be able to do anything.
I've made the decision I don't want to be friends with her anymore. It's pretty easy to avoid her during semester as I go to college out of state and she is studying in our hometown. As of right now I still take her calls, respond to texts, etc. I come home on breaks and right now I'm making excuses to not see her. I have never cut a friend off before, the only time I've ever ended friendships is by growing apart, relationships were always mutual. I am very non confrontational. The reasons I just want to disappear are: I live across the country 75% of the time and it's not like I need to see her much, I also don't want her to have to deal with the stress of being called out like that or facing a "betrayal" from me. I was her best friend, I was always there for her, and I think it's easier for her to just think I'm an asshole ignoring her than to face me telling her exactly why I'm leaving, last thing is I am p scared to have that conversation. Ghosting seems logical to me but I know it has such a negative image. WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ietrw8zHwIVg5nwmjNyHIbA8EviE9F0g | 9v1rdd | {
"description": "insulting my Girlfriend's parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Insulting My Girlfriend’s Parents? | Some background information. I’m currently a Sophomore in college, at the beginning of this school year I met a freshman girl and we hit it off really well and started dating around the end of September.
This is when my girlfriend tells her parents about me and instantly her mom does not like me, solely because I’m an atheist and she’s very Christian. I first found out about this when my girlfriend called and said that she was crying. She believes I’m trying to turn my girlfriend into an Atheist too. I’ve told her, through my girlfriend, that I respect her and my girlfriend’s belief and would like it if respected mine, though that did little to change her stance. It wasn’t until I offered to go to there church with them if I ever visited there home town that her mom seemed more open to my girlfriend dating me.
Cut to a few weeks later, here family is in town to visit and invite me out to dinner, which I accept. For the most part it’s a good time, up until they go to leave and my girlfriend’s roommate accidentally slipped that I’ve spent the night, to which they yelled at my girlfriend until she was brought to tears. Keep in mind that we’re both two consenting adults and I’ve never pushed her to do anything she’d be uncomfortable with, something she’s repeatedly told me she’s grateful for.
Afterwards, her mom starts calling her more and more, both to see if I’m over when I’m not “suppose to be” and to yell at my girlfriend about her grades. Turns out my girlfriend has been struggling through most of here classes, even failing one, but didn’t tell me.
Her parents and I both had different responses to this.
What I did:
-Stop spending as much time with my girlfriend, always making sure she gets her work done before I come over.
-Suggest my girlfriend test herself for ADD after she told me that she’s having difficulties focusing in class. (I have ADD and I explained how I have the same trouble when I’m not on my medication).
- Push her to schedule an appointment with her doctor about possibly getting ADD medication.
- Suggest that she talks to her RA for questions about where to get help.
- Help her study in classes where I have knowledge about.
- Push her to email her academic advisor to talk about future classes and if she should drop calc or not.
What her parents have done (in the span of about a week):
- Tell her to break up with me because I’m the sole reason she’s struggling with classes.
- Belittle her and tell her that’s she’s not ready for college.
- Threaten to take away her phone and her car.
- Threaten to take her out of school before the semester even ends.
- Tell her that Satan (and by extension me) is fighting for her soul.
- Yell at her when she decided to drop calc, even though her academic advisor agreed that it was the best course of action.
- Make her cry constantly.
Because of all this I increasingly get upset at her parents, saying how they’re hurting instead of helping. When my girlfriend told them that I’m doing a lot to help her, they say I have no idea what I’m doing because I’m only 20. To which I argue that I’m one of the best people to help her improve because:
1. I’ve gone through a lot of the struggles she’s going through the previous year and have a better understanding on how to adapt to college life.
2. My girlfriend was the first in her family to go to college, so her parents have no idea what she’s going through or how hard it can people for people to adjust to college life. (Explaining how it’s not uncommon for freshmen to struggle their first year)
I also argue that her mom is immature for taking her anger out on her daughter, something my girlfriend said she’s always had to deal with and that she’s use to. Saying how she does it because she cares.
When I tell my girlfriend that I want to talk to her parents about this she said that I would only make things worse. But after seeing my girlfriend, someone I care about, going from smiling and laughing to crying every time her mom called (multiple times a day), took a toll on me and I needed someone to vent to. So I decided to talk to her cousin, who I’m friends with on Snapchat, about this. Little did I know that my gf’s mom was with her cousin at the time and saw some of the things I said, I’m also guessing that her mom told her cousin what to say back.
Next thing I know, my girlfriend calls me telling how her mom is yelling at her and that her mom was extremely pissed. My girlfriend tells me how she’s upset with me for doing this and that I only made things worse, something I felt horrible about.
We’re still dating, but our relationship was strained for a few weeks, only starting to get better at the beginning the the month. Though last I checked her mom’s stance on me is that “I will never be welcomed in her home or her family”, and I share no love towards her parents.
Am I the asshole for getting up and insulting my girlfriend’s parent’s parenting skills?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
U5hkY6ZmBOZwesC4ox9kbpyJo5qtgiSj | aaumso | {
"description": "not allowing my partner and son to have dog",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA. For not allowing my partner and son to have dog. | About 6 months ago our dog had to be put down, he was an 11 year old dog suffering from seizures and general old age related issues.
He was a good dog but towards the end he was peeing in the house and generally destroying the first house we actually owned and while I loved him to bits it was getting very trying towards the end as I was trying to get the house nice and he was messing it up nearly as fast as I was fixing it up.
Anyhow it's been a 6 months and my partner and son are talking about getting another dog, now in principal I don't have a problem.
My issue is we are all out during the day for school and work. I think it's cruel to get a dog and leave it alone all day, as a minimum it will be alone for roughly 7hours a day. I honestly think that once the novelty of a new dog wears off the new dog will become a chore rather than a pleasure and I really don't like the idea of having the poor animal going nutty from boredom for our entertainment.
Am I the arsehole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xWyFW1v0jJCOKjHAimPRrH59UvgmzBRj | acxpwx | {
"description": "hooking up with the love of my friend's life",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for hooking up with the love of my friend’s life? | First-time poster, on mobile. TL;DR at bottom. Forgive the long post but I think all the details are important to be fair to both parties.
The title may make it sound like we’re fourteen but we’re both in our 20s. My friend (let’s call him Pat) and I have been friends for ~9 years. We met this girl (let’s call her Dana) 5 years ago at university. The three of us remained friends throughout university. Dana would always be the one to invite us to do something together. We have remained friends since graduation, seeing each other every once in a while. I have since moved to another state 1,500 miles away for work.
This past summer, Pat and Dana both had time off of work and decided to come visit me. We stayed in a popular city about an hour from me. Our first night out, we went out to the bar. We all got slightly drunk. In our Uber on the way back to the Airbnb, Dana leaned over to me and said we should hook up. I have had romantic feelings for her ever since we met. So, I obliged and we started kissing in the back seat while Pat sat in the front passenger seat.
When we got back to the Airbnb, Dana went to the bedroom and told me to join her in a few minutes. I was waiting in the living room when Pat told me that he had strong feelings for her, that he pretty much loved her. He had never told me or Dana this. I told Pat I had feelings for Dana too. I don’t remember the entirety of the conversation. There was only one bed and one couch in the Airbnb so I told Pat I was going to share the bed with Dana, rather than sleep on the floor. I went to the bedroom and Dana and I resumed hooking up.
The rest of the weekend Pat proceeded to act weird (moping, disappearing without warning and not answering calls or texts). At one point, Pat told Dana how he felt. Dana decided to leave early because she felt uncomfortable with the whole situation, but mostly Pat’s behavior. Pat and I then went out to the bars.
At the third bar, after a decent amount of alcohol, Pat told me he never wants to be friends with me again. He said it was because I knew he liked Dana and hooked up with her anyway. I did not know until he told me the night Dana and I hooked up. We knew her for five years and he never told me, never asked her out or made a move, and never even initiated hanging out with Dana. It was always Dana. Pat has not been successful with women because he is very shy. I thought he had good chemistry with Dana and I even suggested he ask her out multiple times over the years, including the night she and I hooked up, but he never did. I honestly did not know he liked her but thought he should try as this is the only girl he’s ever been close with and he is too shy to ask out a stranger. He needed a more outgoing person, such as Dana, to initiate something.
Before Pat left, I tried to explain that I didn’t know he liked her but he wouldn’t hear me out. He reaffirmed that he never wants to be friends with me again, while I want to reconcile.
TL;DR: I hooked up with a girl my (former) good friend loves. She and I were both slightly drunk. She initiated it. The guy and I have been friends for 9 years and friends with the girl for 5 years. I had no idea he loved her until he told me, after the girl and I already started hooking up. He now very much hates me.
So, Reddit. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
yKowrLgddkNDEpSrFTIkd0uiAyLiOtfU | acs0nd | {
"description": "setting two friends up, knowing another had a crush on one",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for setting two friends up, knowing another had a crush on one? | So I have 3 friends. Michael, Johnathan, and Melanie.
Melanie and I were talking about girls one day, and she mentioned how she’s been wanting to get back into the dating scene.
This reminded me of Michael telling me the exact same thing just the day before. I know from talking to her that Michael is Melanie’s type. I got really excited because I know they’re both looking, so I showed Melanie a photo and asked if she wanted his number.
Immediately she was keen to the idea. I told Michael I gave her his number, gave him her Snapchat, and told him to give her a chat.
They’ve been talking for a month now, and finally went on a date and both have been texting me after the date about how much fun they had, and how great the other is, and how I’m a great wingman
Only problem is, I set them up, completely forgetting but having the knowledge that my friend Johnny was trying to date Melanie too.
He had been trying for about a month and Melanie was unresponsive to it. Shes been friendly with him, like close friends friendly, but not “I want to date” friendly.
Johnny misconstrued it as “I want to date” and thought she liked him too, but wouldn’t do anything.
at first I was hyping johnathan to do it, but then I set Melanie and Michael up and realized what I did. I stopped hyping Johnny and tried to steer him away from liking her with “I think she’s talking to someone. You should go for someone else, something would have happened by now man.”
Lucky it worked. He’s over her now, he was a bit upset because he realized she didn’t like him (they went to a bar and she went home with a different guy) and she never did like him to begin with. But holy shit I feel like an ass. It would be different if she found someone else’s, but i set her up. In the moment I forgot all about Johnny and was excited to setup Melanie and Michael.
AITA for setting them up? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4kgh4sSGYFqwo0BeEj5Be0nu2fIxqhpU | aybnd7 | {
"description": "not supporting a toxic ex-friend through mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not supporting a toxic ex-friend through mental health issues? | This happened about 5 years ago, but sometimes I think about this ex-friend (T). We first met at a school club where we bonded over similar interests and read the same books. Basically, it was great. Then came high school and the pressure level is over 9000! High school was when she really became toxic. I’ll list some. Firstly, she started mocking her friends, which left me uncomfortable because they treat her sincerely. Secondly, I was failing tests, but I studied my ass off and improved my grades. Her response? "Oh no, all of you are catching up to me." Secondly, I did a lot of volunteer work then. T did not join me, which is totally fine. But then a mutual friend (M) would sometimes ask me "why exactly" am I doing volunteer work. I began to suspect if T was behind M's weird questions, because T often showed disdain for volunteer work and humans in general.
T, M and I called ourselves the three musketeers. Over time, they grew closer and hung out together without me. Once I had a bad day and called M to vent, only to find out T and M were going for a movie date together without me. M told me they didn’t ask me out because they "didn't think" I would be free. I was TA and flipped. We resolved that issue, but I overreacted big time. From there on, this trio dynamic was on the rocks.
I gradually realized T was never happy for my successes. When I got into my dream college, she didn't congratulate me; she made it about how people were achieving their dreams but she wasn't. T applied for a medical degree but when I asked if she wanted to volunteer at a hospital, she told me she wasn't interested in helping others. Eventually, she didn't get into the course but a mutual acquaintance did. T didn't think that person deserved it and dissed her. T also cut connections with her long-time bestie ("B") when B became a Christian. T was nihilistic and saw it as a betrayal, calling her B things like a "hoe".
Fast forward to college, and I'm working on a project with... B! B asked me why T cut her off and I was honest with her about T’s opinions on B. When I finished, B then went on a LONG exposé about how T mocked me behind my back for 6 years. T gave me a nickname: "fallacy in motion". If I was too stupid to be her friend, then why did T keep me around? To make herself feel good? I also used to write fiction and we both wrote similar stuff. I was worried about seemingly plagiarising T but she told me I wasn't doing it. Turns out T accused me of plagiarism to B... among other things. That was the last straw. I went no contact on T afterwards.
2 years ago, M asked if I could help her with T’s depression. M said that T's insults and bitterness was to cover her deep sense of inferiority to others. I declined on the spot. One question M asked me stuck with me: "Don't you know she would also feel hurt that you stopped talking to her?"
AITA for not supporting a toxic ex-friend through depression? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rb8XKamms3LpWIhysT7qb3UuUoPNDpIE | au8x3n | {
"description": "asking for my money back when my friend is in hospital",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for asking for my money back when my friend is in hospital? | So there is my friend who i know from high school, we were in same school for 2 years, and we don't normally talk to each other.
I do job in another state, so we only text each other.
around a month ago (23-24 jan ) He asked me that he was in need for some urgent cash, he will pay me back on 3-4 feb, He asked for around 300$ but I didn't had extra money, he said he was in emergency, and he neer fast cash,
So I told him that I will borrow money from my other friend, but he had to pay me back on time, because I'm borrowing money for him.
He said that his check will get clear on 3-4 feb but make it 7-8 so, anyhow he will pay me before this date.
so after that there were no msgs since we don't talk too much.
on feb 14 I messaged him that I borrowed the money from my friend, and you still haven't paid, He told me that He was in some relatives marriage and he will pay me back before 20th feb, I told him that if you are going to pay me before 20th then atleast tell me about it.
I said fine but please pay me back before 20th because I need to give my friend his money back.
Actually I already paid my friend back his money on 7th feb, because I didn't want to spoil our relationship.
Anyway he didn't pay me on 20th as well.
I messaged him today and said hello and how are you, he sent me a picture of himself in hospital and his damaged car, that he is in hospital after some accident, He doesn't have serious injuries but he had some stitches on his lips so he can't talk.
I didn't bring up any conversation regarding the money just told him to take rest and get well soon.
But I'm still a little angry that he himself haven't said anything like I will pay you on some other day or anything, and that what makes me pissed off.
I talked about this to my gf and she said that I shouldn't tell him to pay my money back now, but after when he is healthy then I should tell him.
But I don't know deep down I think I should have asked him about that, will that make me an asshole?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
MEqAZZsavjsOjdEiDluCNjM2ekqajqNv | b9xjjk | {
"description": "getting upset at my mom for doing as she pleased with my donation",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For getting upset at my mom for doing as she pleased with my donation? | So I recently went through my clothes and books to see what I could donate to the community aid centre. I eliminated about 80% of my wardrobe (jackets, shirts, sweaters, jeans, pants). Now I am 21 and have bought all these pieces of clothing as well as everything I own with my own money since the age of 15 when my parents started to refuse to pay for anything for me.
Now as a child, my family often had to use this particular community aid store as we struggled financially. And now that I am at a point where I finally have stuff to give, I figured it would be only right to give back to a store that helps the less fortunate and employs many people with disabilities.
Anyways, there was at least a few hundred dollars worth of clothes that my mom said she would bring to the drop off centre since she was going there. Yet, when I came home, I found out that instead of respecting my very clear wishes of donating it to the less fortunate, she gave it to her friend who is by no means struggling.
I approached her respectfully and said that I was upset that she went against what I trusted her to do and that since they were my belongings that I paid for and I would’ve at the least appreciated she ask to give the clothes to her friend. But instead, she became her aggressive self whenever I mention something that bothers me and she called me a selfish jerk.
TLDR; I got rid of most of my clothes which I paid for to donate to the less fortunate, my mom gave them away, without my consent, to her friend who is by no means in need of it. And then I got called selfish for mentioning how it made me feel upset. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
i2f5pquwNceWglQacdLRX6CI77JMTfXa | ass2d7 | {
"description": "telling my husband that I'm tired of feeding his mother",
"pronormative_score": 71,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my husband that I'm tired of feeding his mother? | Brief backstory is my MIL (mother in law) has been a widow for about 4 years now. She is 50 and in great health. Once she became a widow she has turned into the biggest mooch. I swear this woman should teach a class how to mooch. She has been given free trips all around the world (NYC, Vegas, Newfoundland, Chicago..to name a few). She also has completely stopped buying groceries. She either eats out or weasles her way into free meals at people's houses.
For the last 4 years she arranges visits to see the grandchildren around meal times in order to get a free meal. She has NEVER visited her grandchildren unless it's a meal involved in the last 4 years. Sometimes she comes about an hour before a meal, eats, then leaves to go to another function, which leads me to believe she only came for the food not to see the kids.
She's a very picky eater. I've gotten to the point that I'm resenting feeding her. Ive started making food I know she dislikes on purpose to deter her but then my husband gets upset with me. If we order out when she happens to show up for a meal she will have the audacity to place her own special order. Example we order pizza but she wants a order of ribs on the side and you guessed it, never pays a cent.
Then to top this all off, the woman expects me to wait on her. She won't even carry a dish to the sink let alone help me clean up after a meal.
AITA for telling my husband I'm done and visits need to be place outside of meal times? He tells me most people wouldn't care as much as I so and that I'm being unreasonable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 68,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 71,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
aDEh7z3i1tul8roXbWohBQkgOcstafBI | aylbs7 | {
"description": "not telling my girlfriend I was transgender",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 38
} | AITA for not telling my girlfriend I was transgender? | I don't use Reddit very much and I learned about this sub from YouTube, so bare with me.
Also a bit of backstory, I came out in freshman year of high school and started medical treatment soon after. Everyone in my family is also a late bloomer and the women aren't very well versed in the chest area, so working out for a few months along with taking testosterone made my already fairly non-existent chest fats go away. Basically: I looked like a feminine cis boy even with my shirt off.
Alright along with the story. I'm 22 and had been dating my (ex) girlfriend for a little more then a year. My girlfriend was completely fine with not having sex as I had stated when I first met her that I didn't like to hook up. About a week ago, she asked me why I hadn't ever tried to have sex with her. After she had tried to get an answer out of me, I finally told her that I was peen-less. I had originally thought her to be really understanding, but she was really mad. She accused me of being a liar, a fake, a lesbian catfishing her, a whole lot of nasty stuff. Turns out she was really homophobic, which I didn't know because she didn't have any openly gay friends. She ended up blocking me on everything and told all her friends, who sent me a shit ton of hate texts.
TLDR, I told my girlfriend of one year I was transgender and she didn't take it well at all.
So, should I have told her sooner or just kept it a secret? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 27,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 38
} | WRONG |
qp8dgTVCiTcfjVwO5lQTutQvPBE5iNvC | b36332 | {
"description": "expecting a name when someone I don't know calls",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for expecting a name when someone I don't know calls? | Typically someone calls and says "Is so-and-so there?" and then expects a response. I feel like an ass always having to ask "Who's this?"
Is it really so hard to say "Hello, this is I, is so-and-so available?"
Or am I just nit-picking? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
m5HDpJAXYF4LnIaSBdU7skanz4RYHXfU | 9zvdkh | {
"description": "getting irritated at a friend for trying to equate himself getting dumped to me crippling myself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting irritated at a friend for trying to equate himself getting dumped to me crippling myself? | I thought this seemed like a pretty black and white situation where he was in the wrong and i was acting normally, however a bunch of people are telling me that I was being an asshole, in another thread.
Here's the comment that I figured everyone would agree with, but that is apparently controversial:
>there really should be a different class of depression for when you get depressed because your life has fallen apart from medical problems that are totally beyond your control. i had an accident a few years ago and i got super depressed for a few months because i was practically bedridden (i only left bed to use the bathroom). i got better on my own pretty much overnight when i healed up enough that i was able to walk again.
>i had a friend trying to help by bonding or whatever because he'd been depressed after his last breakup and it honestly just felt insulting, because what he was going through and what i was going through were completely different
the two top replies are:
>You were insulted by a friend trying to empathise with you and help you? Because you thought your pain was greater than his, despite not being able to feel what he was going through? Depression doesn't always relate to your physical condition in such a simplistic way.
and:
>That’s extremely shitty of you. A friend tried to help you and you were offended because his problems weren’t the same as yours? What a fucking asshole.
Very interested in feedback because i've complained about it a few times in real life, and i really don't want to look like a dick if this is actually a thing I'm wrong about
[Here's the context,](https://np.reddit.com/r/TooMeIrlForMeIrl/comments/9zhcb1/toomeirlformeirl/ea9qh5o/) but there's not really much more to it than what I've copied here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
IAhgWUN7iqENx1ACygxIVPhWf01yovv9 | a8tel1 | {
"description": "compromising the stability of a friend group over my problems with an individual within it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for compromising the stability of a friend group over my problems with an individual within it | I have been lucky to have many long time friends who have stayed close. We travel yearly together and get along well.
This has always been strained for me by one member, labeled X. While some of the friends have dropped out of college, pursued nontraditional lives, whatever, X has made a circus of his adult life.
I will preface my problems with X with his current situation.
X attends college, but has failed his way into a neverending cycle of GEs and nondeclaration. He is the child of self-made parents from an impoverished background. He has adopted strong right wing ideologies, citing his parents as evidence of his beliefs. He is out of shape. He has held one job not given to him by his parents, but he is decent at it. His significant other seems to impose very strong gender roles on their relationship, and manipulates him. She is not really a part of the circle, but I do note her as an influence on his demeanor.
End his current situation, described as observed by myself and others around him.
Recently I had a disagreement with X. We have them often. Generally, they are around how he behaves in public. I let him spout his political views and foul humor privately without objection. In vast contexts I have heard him use horrendously racist language "in jest," only to voice very concerning and decidedly serious views on race and peripheral matters moments later. Multiple times he has been engaged in public by strangers who are disgusted by his displays. To his credit he does not ask for defense from his friends. I don't think anyone would help if he asked.
The straw that broke the camels back came when I was sharing stories about my friends in college. I was discussing an event I attended for a friend, hosted by his ethnic club.
Immediately X began making pointed jokes about my friend and his heritage. Furthermore, he made hard judgements and assumptions that were not jokes. He was vocally ashamed that I would associate with him.
I blew up at him, and we are no longer speaking.
Some of my friends within the group have told me to move on from the argument for the health of the friend group. They claim him to be joking, but I think it's rationalizing. I have never seen X accept humility in his conflicts with other members of the group, which are considerable in number.
So, this is how problems with X are generally resolved, since he is stubborn and frankly aggressive. The other party says, "fuck it it's not worth it to cause this much trouble" and acquiesces.
I have accepted the bitter pill in these situations in the past. But it is clear to me now that he has become an issue in need of addressing. I have refused to bow in the matter. I have made my stance clear and stated that either X changes or he stays out of my proximity.
It has been a great source of stress to my friends, since it implies ultimatum between X or myself.
tl;dr
Is refusing to bow down in a significant argument and clash of ideals a dick move when it jeopardizes the stability of multiple friendships? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vBsjkv9icbE110gX8h8se3a4G4t7C6s8 | asqjp8 | {
"description": "having a phone call in the bus",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA Having a phone call in the bus | About half an hour ago I was sitting in a bus. Next to me was a young woman having a phone call, normal voice volume, standard phone call with no crazy topics.
All of sudden I hear the bus driver go: "WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP THAT, IT IS INCREDIBLY ANNOYING" . He was referring to her having a phone call in the bus. She got startled and started to cry.
Note: She was sitting multiple rows behind the bus driver, so not next to him or something.
I was incredibly shocked by the drivers reaction and started to write an online complaint.
As i was writing the complaint i was wondering if the bus driver was actually an arsehole, or if it's : his bus, his rules. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ogw9K6QNTdZmCvdrSJKqBLhWvOZA5FCz | b7j1ti | {
"description": "yelling at my ex husband because he's not listening to me and the gps",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for yelling at my ex husband because he's not listening to me and the GPS | Disclaimer: This is not me, but my mom writing this. So every 'me' and 'I' is actually my mom.
My ex, our kids and I went out of town to see my mother for couple of days, since she is in hospice. We all went to my sister in law's parents house for dinner. We all had a good time and our kids wanna head back to the hotel and go swimming.
My ex got his GPS working and was going to what it is saying, but then he begins wondering why the GPS was not taking him to the right direction that he wants to go. So after a little bit, he begins to get frustrated. So I decided to pull my GPS and help him out.
After seeing the directions on where to go, I told him to turn the direction my GPS is saying to go, but he seems that he doesn't want to listen to me. I then got a bit angry and told him to turn. He told me not to raise my voice at him, which I wasn't, I was only just trying to help him, because I can see that he is frustrated and confused. Well, he seems that he doesn't want to listen. So I got angry and yelled at him to listen to me.
He then slammed on the breaks and told me to get out, but I refused. I started yelling at him and cussed a few words in front of my kids, telling him to listen to me. He still won't listen, and tells me to get out again. So, I slammed my phone on the floor, crossed my arms and I was burning mad, because I know from our previous arguments that he would never listen to me. He then made our daughter hold the phone and help him head to the right direction back to the hotel. Finally, he was able to follow it, and eventually, we had reached the hotel.
So, who was the asshole in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
D1ZBhvfTrrwalxFgxlXHJC2TXVd5aVmv | ao9vm7 | {
"description": "accidentally bumping a table while my friend was doing a sketch and refusing to apologise",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for accidentally bumping a table while my friend was doing a sketch and refusing to apologise? | (I'm posting this on behalf of a friend who doesn't have Reddit, so anything not in parentheses is from his pov)
So I was doing work in class and my friend was doing a sketch at the same time. I accidentally bump an already shaky table and it screws up her sketch ( keep in mind that she has anxiety and even little things can ruin her whole day). Friend proceeds to get mad and explain how she's had to restart the sketch multiple times. I say that the table of shaky and that it's no big deal. Friend proceeds to start crying in front of the whole class, and still no apology. ( I suggested that he apologise but he doesn't think it's necessary). Finally, she apologized for getting angry and doesn't talk for the rest of the class.
Is he the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
zNeiVCSv4mlAl2aJcPaIWl5euxzRIR5V | b2ryy3 | {
"description": "defending my ex girlfriend in front of my current girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for defending my ex girlfriend in front of my current girlfriend? | A couple weeks ago I (20M) got into an argument with my current girlfriend (23F), I’ll call her Jen, about my ex girlfriend (22F), Megan, because she wouldn’t stop talking about her. Megan and I used to date for a couple of months. She became friends with one of my roommates, and goes out with her to the bars every once in a while. Coincidentally, she knew my other roommate from high school, so she had two friends at my apartment.
We ended things and I got a new girlfriend, but I still tried to stay friends with Megan so we’d talk often. Jen didn’t like this. We actually all three met up one night and had an adult discussion about it but Jen wouldn’t say to her face that she was upset with Megan texting or snapchatting me every day (because she always initiated the conversation with me), instead she just said it behind her back. I realized it wasn’t worth the time/effort so after at least a dozen arguments I blocked her from Snapchat after she took back her DVD player from my house so I’d have a “reason to” and that was pretty immature of me, which upset Megan.
Megan would come over more often after this to “hang out” with my roommates and wouldn’t care if me and Jen were home. This bothered Jen a lot, and I had to continue listening to her complain about Megan even though I wasn’t talking or engaging with her in anyway, even if she was over.
She would say things like, I can’t get away from this bitch, at school (they have classes together at university), where she’s always wearing the stupid Burberry scarf you bought her in front of me, and now in your apartment? Why don’t you go out and tell her this is not okay? Tell her to leave. She’s not welcome here. I don’t like her. So this is where I might have messed up because I said, “why do YOU care so much about this girl? You sound really insecure and I already blocked her. I feel like this is all the talk about and I’m getting tired of it. Why don’t you leave instead?”
Honestly, I was just really done hearing about Megan and I couldn’t stand it anymore. She was a daily conversation that I didn’t want to have anymore. So Jen starts crying and tells me that I don’t care about her, I don’t love her and makes a big scene when she leaves in front of my ex and roommates. I feel like a dick, but I wanted to ask reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
npPj9bAU9804tkiBgbcRCJadWcISsaoN | aquz4i | {
"description": "refusing to go see one of my friends far away in fear of my safety from bad drivers and horrid road and weather conditions",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for refusing to go see one of my friends far away in fear of my safety from bad drivers and horrid road and weather conditions? | I live in a country where military service is mandatory for all male citizens at the age of 18 for 2 years. My friend is in the military now and he was lucky enough not to be stationed too far from the capital, only a 3 hour drive away. He called the other day and said that his family is coming to visit him on Sunday and if I want to come. I told him I'll confirm on Friday. So today he called and I agreed pretty quickly but then I saw the weather and started to regret the decision. It had snowed in the capital and it was snowing heavily all across the country. The road to the military base is through a lot of narrow, winding, icy mountain roads in fog and the drivers here aren't very good at all. I called my parents who are currently outside of the country leaving me to take care of my studies, sibling, house and our store and my dad vehemently disagreed with my decision saying that he's been on those roads in these conditions and they are extremely bad and who knows what kind of car you'll have to go with and that on Sunday I have to be here to take care of the store and stuff. So I called my friend and said that I have to stay behind and take care of some important things for the store and he sounded pretty sad and a little upset/angry about it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
CkC7gJxCxL4wvAQN6CMRxzCh3qSis2v1 | avlzhi | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend after she confided in me that she doesn't like sex",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend after she confided in me that she doesn’t like sex? | She told me this a month after I lost my virginity to her.
We went from full on sex, to her not even wanting to kiss me. In a week.
For a month it was always “I’m not really in the mood” or “I’m on my period” or “Not now, later” For a month I blamed myself. Tried to find out what was wrong. Eventually she told me that she doesn’t like sex. Anything related, even stuff like kissing.
I feel disgusting. My first time being fully intimate with a partner was a lie. She didn’t want me. I feel like I’m some sort of sexual predator.
I have been in the other side. I’ve been sexually manipulated by a person and it was awful. Now I just feel like the manipulator. And I’m angry. Because she wasn’t honest with me.
Anything intimate with her repulses me. Honestly anything intimate with everyone at this point. She made me feel this way and I absolutely hate myself.
And I think I want to break up with her. I feel so betrayed. But I also feel like breaking up with her is judging her based on her sexuality. It was brave if her to tell me this.
But I feel disgusting. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
YcOZTylOn1U501wm848ybLDp7elTTy0I | accmld | {
"description": "bullying a bully",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for bullying a bully? | I am in high school and a bit of an odd situation. I am the biggest kid at my school (I'm 6'8") and I am a star athlete. I am relatively famous in my neck of the woods. But I am not a jock. When I am not playing or practicing I am either playing video games, D&D, or MTG. So I kind of live in both worlds but most of my friends are the nerd type not the jock type.
One friend of mine is constantly bullied by one kid, I don't know why but it is always him. The school has giving the kid a couple referrals and sent him home from school once but that's it and it hasn't helped.
So the other day I got sick of it and confronted the bully. I threatened to kick his ass and made him beg for my friends forgiveness on his knees in front of what seemed like half the school and he ended up crying.
I have no interest in bullying him or anyone else again I just wanted him to stop bullying my friend. And I figured since the teachers telling him not to haven't stopped him maybe finding out what it feels like would.
His mom his pissed and wants me suspended and kicked off the teams. But my coach is definitely not going to let me get kick off the team and it looks like he is going to stop me from getting any sort of suspension either.
I know the whole 2 wrongs don't make a right thing but am I still an asshole for 1 wrong in order to stop a constant wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
YiG5CtqzuagNfVgzdmfbpRRXMv98eE7X | aw8lx2 | {
"description": "telling my roommate I don't like the guy she's dating, cause he's into Loli porn",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | WIBTA for telling my roommate I don't like the guy she's dating, cause he's into Loli porn? | So my roommate has just been on a date with this guy, and she seems really happy, so i'm glad for her.
She told me all about this amazing art he draws and how talented he is, so i asked her if i could see his art one day since it sounded really interesting.
Well today she showed me, the first red flag for me was when she went into Devianart.
The first thing i saw was a page filled with very vulgar furry art. (He was really talented tho).
it was very cringy to look at, but i just went along and told her how amazing i thought the art was and how talented he was.
She said i could look at the page myself sometime if i wanted to check more of his art out, so i did.
He had some art where you had to be 18+ to view, so i logged in and viewed it.
It was basically furry porn, Scooby doo porn (yes ik), my little brony porn and then loli.
He had a bunch of drawings of a mother and daughter (the daughter looked about 7 years old) that laid in bed while they were naked and the mother was touching her. It was disturbing and gross to look at.
My roomate is a lot older than me and i dont really think she's into internet culture. So i dont think she even saw those drawings or knows what a furry or Brony is.
She seems so happy for this guy, but i just can't get over the stuff i saw he made.
She's only been my roomate for about 1,5 month, so its prob not something i should interfere in.
So would i be the asshole to tell her about how i feel about the guy she's dating. Or should i just keep my mouth shut? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
ka10ZbFOpXQnfqx6nQOmtKW8V92ImwOw | axeubc | {
"description": "not giving an elderly woman a ride home in the pouring rain",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving an elderly woman a ride home in the pouring rain? | This happened about seven or eight years ago, but I still think about it almost every single day.
I, 22 female at the time, had just graduated college and was living on my own for the very first time. Since I was working a crap job, I was only able to afford living in a neighborhood that wasn't known to be the best; in fact, it was pretty infamous in our state for being one of the worst. However, I was super excited to finally be on my own and start gaining some Independence.
One day, around 11 p.m., I was at one of those 24 hour gas station/convenience stores to grab a late dinner. It was pouring rain outside. I'm talking about the kind of rain that turns the world white. The kind of rain where you're completely soaked within seconds of stepping outside, even if you have an umbrella. As I went to unlock my car, I was approached by an elderly woman, maybe 65 or 70, and she said something along the lines of, "I hate to ask you this, but would you mind giving me a ride home? It's raining so hard and I don't have an umbrella."
She tells me where she lives, which is an apartment complex on my way home, about a two minute drive away from the store. Maybe 10 minutes walking. Most notably, a place that was known for his high crime area and drug uses.
Now, my mom had been against me moving out. And she filled my head with all of the stories in the news about abductions, or Good Samaritans being lured into well laid traps. So I started thinking, is this about to happen to me? Will she lead me to an inescapable place, and I'm suddenly surrounded with no way to defend myself?
I told her that I was sorry, but I was going the other way, and got in my car and drove an extra 10 minutes around to get home.
Ever since that day, however, I have been eaten up with guilt. What if she had no one else, and approached me because she thought I look friendly and would help her? How long did she have to wait at that gas station station before getting home? DID she make it home? Did I make the right choice?
So please Reddit. Some days I feel justified, and some days I feel like a giant asshole. I just need to know. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XngRZ8z0mhZXANjz6GnQqQfDqjCGEVAP | aybp5z | {
"description": "staying on a subreddit and discord that promote sobriety when I honestly don't want to be sober forever",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for staying on a subreddit and discord that promote sobriety when I honestly don't want to be sober forever? | Preface: I've been dealing with alcohol and cocaine addiction since 2015. I've gotten 2 runs of more than 500 days but I relapsed in October and have been drinking about every other week since.
When I was about 9 months sober last time i found a discord about being sober that i really liked. The owner of the server has seen me running a drug centric server and asked me to be a mod there. Things are going well and I get past a year. Then about 18 months in I have a massive falling out with my AA homegroup and get drunk. Since then I've been drinking and partying pretty much every time I get paid. I dont risk my job or house but I keep getting drunk. Thing is, I dont want to be sober forever. I have enough time before that I know the answers to the questions newcomers ask. But I'm not living the life I suggest. I feel like a fraud. So, am I the asshole for trying to help newcomers with advice I know works even when I'm not willing to follow it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
OMVdMmysXuVRzee1hkZeDaSAbd0bwsTK | abm01o | {
"description": "wanting to break up with my asexual girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to break up with my asexual girlfriend? | I started dating a girl about a month ago who I thought was heterosexual, cause I had no reason to believe she wasn't. We went on a date and had a good time, but it wasn't until a little more than a week ago that she told me she was asexual. This threw me off guard and made me reconsider the relationship. I'm a heterosexual male, and I want to have sexual intimacy in a relationship. I've talked it over with her and she said sex just isn't something she finds appealing and doesn't really want it to be a part of the relationship.
I just don't think that we can fulfill each others' needs as a couple. I still like her as a friend, and she's a great person, but I think all she can be is a friend. The rest of my friends are calling me a giant asshole and saying I'm putting my own selfish needs above her. I think that we all deserve someone who will make us happy and fulfill the needs in a relationship. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
A50bvz9fQdiTrl7Q3Ww2KksHPN1aiqac | af623q | null | AITA for disinterest in my girlfriend's interest in AITA? | During a nice relaxing early morning, listening to Soma FM's beautiful Drone Zone, my girlfriend on her Reddit binge discovered this subreddit. It is worth noting here that many (including her) consider me an empathy-lacking contrarian.
She started excitingly reading through the posts, and comments and I tended to favour people not being the asshole quite strongly, even in cases when most of the community were 'for asshole'. I thought my relatively strong dismissiveness of this subreddit and it's community would be enough to display how uninterested I was.
After a minute of quiet reading with Drone Zone droning on in the background, she finds another AITA post, a really boring one about some kid complaining about how their parents organise their food (fucking first world problems right there) and in the spirit of being honest and forthcoming, I politely asked her to stop reading during it "to be honest I'm just not that interested" and she reacted rather negatively,and is now withdrawn and ignoring me.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
BEPqeUbz2aWdioJ0RsBiNRal6af5JtYI | acuuii | {
"description": "threatening to call the cops on my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for threatening to call the cops on my roommates? | My roommates tend to play music really late into the night. They have a big speaker that is set up right next to my bedroom door and I can feel the vibration from it when it's on.
Last night they were staying up really late. Around 1am I ask them to turn it down and they did, so I went back to sleep. But, I woke up again at 3am when they turned it back up. This time I went into the living room and asked them to turn it off, because it was 3 in the morning. They laughed at me and then turned it up louder while I was talking. So then I said I'll just call the cops then and shut my door.
My roommates are all under 21, and probably knew they didn't want the cops here, so they shut off the music completely after I threatened to call them. They then decided to talk loudly in the living room and I could hear them calling me an asshole. One of them even threatened to break my door down and kick my ass.
So am I the asshole here? I feel like it's reasonable to not want music to be blasted at 3am, but this stuff happens constantly with my roommates and they insist that it's normal. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
y2PNPfLYGdvVDpXKproMQkQA5Lstr8UM | a1nuf7 | {
"description": "turning off the laundry machines in my apartment building when tenants are using it past usable hours",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA For turning off the laundry machines in my apartment building when tenants are using it past usable hours? | I'm new (30yo male) to living in a reasonable/nice/average apartment building filled with young people. Moved to new city because of job. I live in the apartment next to the laundry room on the first floor.
*The rules of the laundry room goes: laundry hours between 7am to 11pm.
The noise keeps me up at night, doors slamming, people moving, laundry machines active. The landlord strongly suggests that I should call the police on other tenants (if I see them not respecting the rules). Which is apparently okay with the city and police. The landlord has put up signs, emails, directly contacted people through email and by talking to tenants directly.
Recently I've begun turning off the machines if they're in use past 11pm. Last night I turned off some dryers at 11:35pm and the other tenants picked up their damp clothes at roughly 12:15am.
Its a dick move I feel however I know everyone knows the rules because it's been made obvious and clear. Do I want to call the cops? Not really but obviously it's the appropriate thing to do. I'm thinking I'm fighting fire with fire. The international students across the hall from me continue to use it past 11pm even though my landlord and I mentioned it to them in person. I'm trying to get my beauty sleep by the time someone starts using the machines next door to me.
TLDR: People aren't obeying the laundry room rules. Since I live right next to it and I go to bed early during the week I've started turning off the machines in use past 11pm and screwing people over with their laundry.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
1EAP2RSyzBUXMfVb1ZsCdb5KjkS78PgP | au3ctr | {
"description": "telling her I don't really care",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling her I don't really care? | My sister is worried about my moms smoking habit.She wants to stage an intervention. My mom lost a lot weight recently. I told her look she's 55 and independent we can't force her. We are in our late 20's and I told her and intervention would not even work if we were children. I have tried in the past and even bought her a vape. She asked me if I even care. I told her not really and she asks if I would be sad if something happens to her.. I said I wouldn't be surprised if she had issues due to her smoking. She was upset and claimed I don't care if they died. I told her I mentally prepared myself for the death of our parents a long time ago because they really don't take care of themselves at all. She said I sound like a sociopath and started crying.. I told her I care about her and her well being but she was just so mad but honestly they are not that old where I have to take care of them tbh. It probbaly does not help my relationship with my mom is not that great. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WH4eQIeTUghy7zmiVSk4tDxcwEfB1I97 | b89gws | {
"description": "limiting my housemate's overnight guests",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I limited my housemate’s overnight guests? | I (26f) currently live in a 3/2 house with 1 roommate (23m). I own the house and my roommate approached me through a mutual friend asking to live with me. I’m currently in school and figured I could use the extra money. I wasn’t looking for a roommate but really just did a favor since his previous roommates sucked. Seemed to be a good fit. Before he moved in we had a conversation about overnight guests. He said he has some friends who live out of state that may come visit him a couple times a year and they may stay for weekends. I told him that was fine. Had him sign a month-to-month lease agreement. While there are no explicit terms in the agreement, this conversation about guests seemed very straightforward. Now it’s been almost a year with very minimal issues. However, his friend who lives 4 hours away started coming over frequently. At first it was on days my roommate wasn’t working. Now the past 2 months his friend has been here at least 45 out of the 60 days. He is here while my roommate goes to work. This didn’t bother me at first, but now it really does. He showers here. (There’s a slight difference in the bill). Uses some of my things in the common spaces. Slows down the WIFI. Leaves the door unlocked when he goes out for a little. (this scares me because 90% of the valuables in the house are mine.) neither of them have ever cleaned anything in the common spaces besides the dishes they use, even though they do track in a lot of dirt. He stays in my roommates’ room all day long while my roommate is at work and sleeps on his floor. This is why I’m not sure if I’m being dramatic about this occurrence because the guest isn’t severely limiting the use of common spaces. I wouldn’t be as bothered if I rented this home instead of owned it. When I allowed him to move in I thought I had signed up for 1 roommate. Not 2. I honestly find it odd that 2 straight men just sit around all day in a bedroom doing nothing. What makes a 4 hour drive appealing at that point? I barely know this man who has pretty much moved into my home. I’ve politely expressed my concern to my roommate and my concern was completely disregarded. So, wibta if I limited his overnight guests staying? Would you be bothered by a man you barely know in your home being there while you and your roommate are out for the day? How would you bring it up again, if you think I’m being fair? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
izRZ0C6bjEq5ELQhSgwbImAZs9pC5rLA | amt3gj | {
"description": "letting a horde of zombies kill my dad because he was trying to make me mad by picking up the items I wanted",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For letting a horde of zombies kill my dad because he was trying to make me mad by picking up the items I wanted | Me and my dad play this one zombie survival game together (I can’t think of the name atm) and while doing so I noticed he kept picking up items I wanted and was about to pick up, I figured it was just cuz I didn’t bother to say anything so he didn’t know any better, until I started specifically running over to collect items, just for him to run in front of me and pick them up, I was upset since I had the proper materials in order to use those items, it wasn’t until I started to look over at him as he did it when I saw the large, smug smile on his face, he was doing this on purpose because he wanted to tick me off, because he found it funny, it was the last straw when I repeatedly told him about an item I wanted, and told him to wait until I made some room in my inventory so I could pick it up, he gave me the okay to start cleaning out my inventory, but as I was doing so he ran over and picked up the item, I looked over at him and he had the biggest grin on his face, and was chuckling as well, this is when I knew I wanted some revenge, we got to a horde of zombies and my dad asked if I was ready to start fighting, I eagerly replied “yep” but as soon as the fight began I decided to get my payback, once the zombies came pouring in I walked off to the side and left them all to him, he kept asking me to help and was wondering why I wasn’t doing anything, once he died he was obviously mad at me but I told him “sorry, just getting some payback” I died too of course since I didn’t have him to help me, once we were both dead he asked me “why weren’t you helping me???” And I calmly replied “you were making me mad” he rage quit and said he didn’t want to play anymore
TL;DR My dad was purposely ticking me off by collecting items I specifically said I was prepared to pick up (or in more blunt terms, calling dibs on) so I wanted to take some revenge by leaving him to take on an entire horde of zombies by himself which resulted in death (I died too either way)
AITA in this situation or is what I did justified? considering he was purposely trying to make me mad | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WG8i7CEespax97lM5sG87fyQiKthXg52 | alrkvj | {
"description": "doing stuff with a girl on New Years and then she cuts off all contact with me after",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for doing stuff with a girl on New Years and then she cuts off all contact with me after? | So this was this new year, and some context, I’m Male and 16, and she’s the same age, now, we were both at a mutual friend house, and we used to know each other but hadn’t seen each other in 3 years or so.
So we’re both there with her younger brother, and our friend and her younger brother, so later into the night we get drunk, and end up making out, but then at about 5 in the morning we end up spooning and I won’t go in to detail, but I fingered her (sorry for the crude language) now, I want to make it clear now, that while we were both a bit drunk she was clearly consenting, and was keeping my hand down there if I tried to pull away. So this happens, we go to sleep.
Next morning, everything’s good, we kiss a little bit more, but then that afternoon once I’m on the car in the way home, I try and text her and she reads it and doesn’t respond, so I leave it and try again later.
Eventually I get a message back saying that she was fine in the morning, but then as she remembered more she felt more embarrassed, and then said she didn’t want to talk to me anymore, so I left her alone
Am I the asshole? I feel terrible about it still, and don’t know if I did something wrong | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fKZISBXMioMy2aEK68egtvn1oeI4qq3B | aq5hw7 | {
"description": "ditching my girlfriend on Valentine's to go to dinner with another girl",
"pronormative_score": 63,
"contranormative_score": 78
} | AITA For ditching my girlfriend on Valentine's to go to dinner with another girl | So my best friend (21F) and I (22M) are going out to dinner tomorrow night on Valentine's day because she's moving away for University and it's the most convenient day for both me and her to have one final meet up before she leaves on Sunday.
My girlfriend (20F) and I had agreed a few weeks back that we wouldn't do anything major for this occasion and what we would do would be on the Friday rather than the Thursday since it's just easier for both of us with work and school. So, me thinking that this Thursday was not really Valentine's day, organised to meet with my bestie on that date.
Oh hell was I wrong in thinking that though. Upon telling my love this news, she sulked, threatened our relationship and then tried to guilt trip me into not going by saying things like "You can go, just dont expect me to reply to any messages because I'll probably be crying by myself" and the likes. Also a sprinkling of cheating allegations being thrown around on her part. Unfortunately this is a pretty standard routine with any fight between us but I love her so what can I say.
I'd also like to point out me and my friend have known each other for close to 3 years and shes in a happy relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 17 months and as far as I am aware of, neither of us have done anything close to cheating. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 69,
"OTHER": 54,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 63,
"WRONG": 78
} | WRONG |
oQXsCZ1iM3PE3H6UOtej4CylEV8e8e6t | b74drf | {
"description": "not telling 2 of my friends they are being laid off",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling 2 of my friends they are being laid off? | My company is downsizing, but basically just told our group that they are “pretty much safe” for the rest of the year. In the mean time, I am being offered a promotion. During the pitch meeting to me, they disclosed that part of my new job would be doing parts of my friends jobs, because “they are being let go”. At this point it’s still a secret, and not only would telling them probably cost me my promotion, it would probably cost me my job too. I’ve worked with them for over 10 years, and both have kids getting ready for college. Telling them wouldn’t change anything, but it might help them prepare for the inevitable. Am I the Asshole because I am worried about what might happen to me rather than telling my friends?
And yes, I realize all I need is to throw in a red swingline stapler to make this completely cliche. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
r5pzOeMLtEI0wkeieww5gXKAK3lRKriU | aea6og | {
"description": "proposing to my gf after my sister was proposed to by her bf, but having the wedding before theirs",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for proposing to my gf after my sister was proposed to by her bf, but having the wedding before theirs? | Context: my sister was proposed to ~October last year, and I proposed to my gf in November. I knew I was going to propose to my gf for a while, as we moved in together earlier this year and this was the final “step” if you will.
When my sister congratulated me she said something along the lines of “congrats, don’t get married before me” I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not, so I convinced my fiancée to move the date to after my sisters.
All was good until this week. My fiancée found out she will have clinicals late this year. And we can’t do our wedding when we planned. My mother also wanted to see if we could move it up anyway because my parents might move this year. So we wanted to go to the original date we wanted which is before my sisters wedding. Well apparently my sister blew up at that, saying stuff like “if his wedding is before mine then I don’t want to go”. And I had my mother call me telling me I’m breaking up the family. IM breaking up the family, not my sister who threatened to not attend my wedding because of a date. We have legitimate reasons to move it. We have already done enough for my sister, as my fiancée had to change her wedding colors because they matched my sisters originally.
Now my sister has finally said she would come but my mother keeps saying “there will be a problem between them now”,”Christmas is going to be awkward now, I hope you’re happy” ??
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
3ivQGVHYb6N1UqHgpnBObbNzehDGA5xM | ajhje8 | {
"description": "cursing off the convenience store guy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for cursing off the convenience store guy? | I regularly frequent a local convenience store and get subs. They’re more expensive than other places nearby, but they’re not a franchise and I like supporting a local small business. I usually spend about $50 every time I go there for a few subs and some drinks and snacks. I always get my subs with extra cheese. This time I went there and I saw an additional charge of $10.50. I asked what it was for, the guy said it was for extra cheese. I’ve never been charged for this before. I said that (politely) and he just looked at me. Whatever, I was annoyed but hungry so I just paid it. So now I’m up to $40.50 for 3 sandwiches. When I get home, there is a total of 1.5 slices of cheese on 2 of the subs, and 2 slices of cheese on the other. I call the store and tell him this. He said “yes, that’s extra cheese”. I explain that charging me $10.50 for 5 slices of cheese is exorbitant. He says “no you cheap.” I told him I will never spend money at that store again and in my cheese-induced rage I ended the conversation with a “go fuck yourself.” I am pissed about the cheese, but I feel like an asshole for cursing at him. I’ve worked in restaurants and customer service and I’ve never been the type of customer to curse at an employee. I still feel guilty about this a few hours later now. Was the fuck warranted, or am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xsUtdCgJdKLfuk3qqM12JO9XFyn74nd1 | b4y6dt | {
"description": "not getting my friend a wedding present",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not getting my friend a wedding present? | So to start off I know presents aren't required, but they're nice and I try to always give something from the registry, even if it's small.
Background: These friends are not super close, my husband knew the guy (N) from a previous job, but they're close enough that we invited them to our wedding. They couldn't come, but when I saw the girl (S) at my work, she said maybe we could do a "spa night" with some of my friends and that she could bring stuff, and that would be our wedding present. Of course I was like "you don't have to get us anything", but she insisted so I said yes. Fast forward to the "spa night". She rolls up with a bunch of Mary Kay stuff and instead of a spa night, my other friends and I were bombarded by an obvious sales pitch. Some of us even bought small things because we felt kind of pressured.
This month, S and N got married but we were unable to attend because we'd moved states. I'm also severely ADHD so I kept remembering and forgetting to get them a present. They got married yesterday, and when I told my husband he said that he didn't think we should get them anything anyway because of their "present" to us. He also would have rathered them have given us nothing, which I agree with. I know we can still send a present, but I kind of agree with him. We don't live in the same state anymore and we probably won't see them again because like I said we aren't super close. In addition to this we have another really close friend getting married soon and I'd rather spend the money on their present. So WIBTA if I didn't get them anything and just congratulated them on their big day? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SpDuRklFhqtwwJWBrOTqNGuZ4xAJetdM | a5njb9 | {
"description": "not wanting to go to my friend's house ever again",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go to my friend's house ever again? | I have a good friend with three kids, two of which are the same age as mine. When we had our first babies, we did everything together and were great support for each other.
Her third child is still having naps during the day so sometimes it's best for us to hang out at her house. Which I dread.
Her house is filthy. Not just 'I have three kids and haven't tidied up' kind of mess - way worse than that. Her couch is always sticky with some food stuffs and has crusted milk on the arms from gosh knows when. The floor is a mixture of sticky and crusty with crumbs, sand, food etc.
They can't eat at the dining table because it's a mountain of washing and so the kids eat on the floor in the lounge room, making even more mess. Instead of cleaning the mess off the floor, she lets the dogs in to lick it all up. Which creates more mess because the dog hair is everywhere. One time I came around, her one year old looked like he had a beard from the amount of hair that was on his face. I cleaned it off and she just laughed, saying he always has a beard.
The kids each have a separate room but their doors can't be fully opened because there is stuff everywhere. They have to stand on top of mountains of toys and clothes to get to their beds. The kitchen bin is always overflowing and the youngest is often found playing with overflowing rubbish that has fallen out the top.
She has a supportive husband so she doesn't need to go to work, plus has a nanny come in two days a week to help out. Her parents also come around a couple of times a week to fold laundry and clear her dining table. She's in good mental health and is a wonderful mother, but I don't know whether she sees how bad her house is getting.
I really don't want to go around to her house and have started keeping track of her baby's nap times so I can suggest activities outside of the house. I like spending time with her and our kids get along great, but the filth just gets to me. I'm almost at the point of telling her I don't want to go over there any more. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yBfiP1MfGSpyfq3XnCecG3onbmhsJXPv | a6nqyo | {
"description": "not feeling sorry for a student who failed the class I'm a ta for",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not feeling sorry for a student who failed the class I’m a TA for? | So there was this student of mine who didn’t do half of his labs, wouldn’t keep up with my emails (I generally talk about lab changes and give pointers for their designs), wasn’t very independent, kept relying on me the day before the lab was due, and just overall not good at managing his time. I don’t judge because I don’t know what goes on in his life, but it was his responsibility to say something. My advisor’s class is not one to be taken lightly; the material is difficult (this is a senior undergrad or first-semester grad class in analog design), and procrastinating is the easiest way to at most a C, maybe barely a B if lucky and the average is low enough. I’d feel sorry for him having gotten a D if he were a better student... I wanna feel sorry for him, but I don’t... AITA? Also in my dept the minimum to pass is a C. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2ooOJTKwd6ahASzfWVshapO6Jh9YbtoT | b3u0tz | {
"description": "not sharing/eating from my gfs food or utensils",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not sharing/eating from my gfs food or utensils. | My GF and I got into an arguement this afternoon because I really do not like to share anyones utensil, even from my own mother, and would only share someone's food if they're going to waste it, by cutting off or removing the part they ate from, I just can't help it and will not do it.
She wanted me to finish off some drink and burger for her, and I refused the drink because I honestly cannot, it just feels eugh, and was about to cut off her burger bite mark and she started getting really moody and arguing like "do you really think im that dirty wow, you can kiss me but can't share food", and I said I know I can't help it. So AITA for doing this?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2MN3RABrh8OWmOFuzWgNY4YadCj5fRzb | al7x1p | {
"description": "leading my partner on",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for leading my partner on? | I'm in a relatively new 'relationship', and it's going ok. We get on well, see each other often, and have a good time together. From their perspective (as far as I know) everything is going swimmingly and we are on track to start moving forward, but I know that it's going nowhere. And yet, I've not ended it.
There are basically three reasons I'm not enjoying it like I should be, all of which make me think that I'm an asshole.
1. I don't find them particularly attractive.
This is the big one, and the one that I'm really ashamed of. They've got a great personality, an amazing sense of humor, and 'get' me really well. But physically, I'm just not really into it. I think I should be able to look past it, but I just don't seem to be able to.
2. The sex is pretty mediocre.
Pretty much a direct consequence of number one, but I feel like it's important enough to be mentioned. It's a big part of our time together and I just don't really enjoy it. I also obviously have to maintain the illusion that I do, which is frankly exhausting.
​
So my conscience is telling me that I shouldn't be dragging this out, that I need to stop seeing them before it gets too serious. But I haven't yet, and can't seem to bring myself to. For one, I do like them. They're a good source of fun, and definitely improve my life significantly. Selfish I know, but I don't want to lose that. We also have some good mutual friends, and I don't want there to be any splits in the friendship group. I don't think it will be an issue, but I don't know how invested my partner is in the relationship so I can't say for sure.
​
So, what is the verdict? Am I an asshole for dragging this out and wasting someone's time, or is it all ok as long as we are having a good time? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
KDYgDMUb4Po1USwddYvvdksY4iKXMGMu | a4gap1 | {
"description": "telling my apartment building that my roommate has a pet",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | WIBTA if I told my apartment building that my roommate has a pet? | I’m in college and live off campus with three other girls. From the get go, two of my roommates bullied me and were mean to me for no reason.
They treat me like I don’t live at the apartment and are just generally rude towards me. Living with them is hell and I’m in the process of finding a new place to live for next semester (they don’t know this; side note: we all have separate leases)
I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just kind of like fuck it and have gotten a bit petty because they’re assholes to me no matter what I do.
Anyways, so my one crazy roommate bought a gecko without asking anyone. Absolutely no pets are allowed in our apartment building and there is a $1500 fine if they find out you have one.
I’m thinking about telling my building that my roommate has a gecko when I move out because she made my life a literal hell this past semester.
She’s loaded, so I’m not even sure that $1500 would actually make a dent in her pocket. That’s not why I’d do it though- it’d be more of a final fuck you towards them.
WIBTA?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
a84o2WYibjbElwzhVeECA2eojCzaB1gd | b56j3p | {
"description": "getting angry with my roommate for reeking up the apartment with blunt smoke",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry with my roommate for reeking up the apartment with blunt smoke.. | Basically I've asked him a few times nicely to not let it happen given that we aren't in a legal state and have actually been fined for it before by management which I had to pay for.
I smoke weed myself as well however I am not so blatant about it and don't enjoy to live in a cloud of smoke. I tried talking to him calmly again about it but he clearly didn't give a fuck or respect my position which pissed me off. We're in college and I'm not trying to be that guy but at the end of the day it's illegal and I'm not trying to let someone's stupidity fuck up my future. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
M98djaSEErnKH4d6nUTojAb7XplrP0Nt | 9uaav4 | {
"description": "telling my coworkers to solve their own problems",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my coworkers to solve their own problems? | I'm the youngest in an office of 6 people. The old timers can't fix their printers or email properly half the time and since I was born into the age of technology it makes sense for me to solve their problems in 30 seconds as opposed to them solving their own problems over the course of an hour.
I know I'm paid the least, so from a utilitarian perspective it would make sense to trade my time for theirs at such a low ratio of time wasted. But at the same time, I have a demanding workload and was not expressly hired to sherpa 60 year olds through the workday.
AITA if I tell them to suck it up and fix their own problems? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LjHEC14UEgwLq2U0w8u2PaqfdSNXlpVb | a84ad0 | {
"description": "not always cleaning every day",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not always cleaning every day? | Hello everyone, not really sure of the rules or anything so sorry in advance.
I recently (about 2ish months ago) moved in with my lovely boyfriend and our good friend. We are all in our 20ies, and this is our first move (second but still fresh for my bf). My BF works part time and has college part time, so is out most of the weekdays, but is very helpful with cleaning up when I ask, not necessarily just thinking by himself to clean if you know what I mean? Our friend works about 8-3:30 on weekdays (he can start/finish whenever, just has a certain amount of time a week he has to do). He on the other hand, is not good at cleaning up. I am currently not working due to health issues, particularly my chronic anxiety (I know it’s a bit silly haha). This means I am home most of the day every day. I do have pretty bad fatigue which means I can’t do too much stuff physically, and I get rather exhausted fairly easily.
My friend does not clean up, he only washes the dishes when asked. He is a wonderful human and so I feel awful for saying this stuff, and I feel like I couldn’t tell him how I feel because of that. However, he constantly makes mess everywhere and leaves stuff all around the house, I have asked him politely on a few occasions to put stuff away and the like but he always forgets or doesn’t bother. I understand he has a lot of work to do during the day, but when he’s at home it feels like he uses this as an excuse to not do anything, he has plenty of time. Both him and my boyfriend fail to even close cupboards after opening. I’m sorry it’s something so minor but is it really that hard to close a cupboard after opening it? And the food mess everywhere. It’s horrible. I spend about an hour every day just cleaning the kitchen alone after the two of them, only for it to immediately get messed up after they come home. Bags are just left in the living room floor when they come in. Cups everywhere. Clothes everywhere. Hairs all over the sink and bathroom floor??? I don’t understand how they even make so much mess.
I’m sorry for ranting so much. But I’ve asked them so many times just to even wipe up a spill if they make one and then they don’t. They leave food in the sink to smell. The whole house is a mess and I hate it but as soon as I clean it it just gets so messy again, it makes me so sad. It’s like they come home and say ‘wow it’s so clean’ and then proceed to fuck it all up like they don’t even care. My friends room is disgusting, so I know the majority of it is him. I’ve seen him do it.
I have brought this up to the both of them several times, they say they’ll try but they are busy most of the day so it’s difficult. /I understand/ that they work all day, but they are back by 5 at the latest and play games for hours, is it that difficult to clean a small mess after cooking, or close a cupboard. My friend said to me that because I’m home all day that I can do it, and that he doesn’t have much time so it’s difficult. He’s a good guy, but it feels like he expects me to just clean up after him just because I’m not working. I feel like I should because I’m not working so I have the time and I should be useful to them, but I don’t know. It feels like I’m his mother.
Am I the asshole for expecting them to clean up after they make a mess?
I’m really sorry this is so long and incoherent I just don’t know what to do. I feel so pathetic about it am I making a hue thing over nothing? Our flat just looks like a dump if I go a day without cleaning. Sorry I feel horrible to say this about them when they are such good people who are obviously busy. Am i just being selfish? Should I just accept this and keep cleaning? I just feel a bit anxious about the whole thing haha.
So sorry it’s so long. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
wLUEemzcQM6EcDvq3pBHVQlgGXfsmrOU | anbwl9 | {
"description": "shaming a woman for leaving her dog in the car on a mild day",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for shaming a woman for leaving her dog in the car on a mild day? | Some background: I’m a veterinary nurse in Australia. I feel like I am biased as we have had a lot of very hot weather recently which has lead to seeing a lot of patients at my clinic for heatstroke - including some that have died.
Today is a mild day. Only 27°C (about 80°F) but when I pulled into the carpark of my local supermarket I noticed this dog in the car next to me. He’s somewhat brachycephalic (squish faced) which are the breeds at greatest risk of heat stroke. He was also in the sun and was panting.
To the owners credit, the window was down a fair bit, at least 1/3 of the way but I had just done a drive in the sun with no air conditioning and was feeling uncomfortable.
The owner caught me taking pictures of her car (I took these in case I had to contact the RSPCA or police if she didn’t return) and had a go at me. She said she was only gone “two seconds” to which I said “it doesn’t matter.” And so on.
In summary - AITA for giving this lady a hard time when it was just a mild day? Is my nursing background making me an asshole extremist?
[Panting dog in question ](https://imgur.com/a/bOD2doE) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
68cmfxtJpc9QxfUN2qvi1SLwvjws1HlI | b9vo19 | {
"description": "telling one of my classmates to stop interrupting the class",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told one of my classmates to stop interrupting the class? | I'm doing this cooking course for unemployed/young people and funnily enough I'm the youngest one, at 23 years of age. Most of the people there are 30-50+, and we're about 25 of us, although usually there's like a few missing every day.
Since we've started the course a week ago, there's this mid/late 30s dude who just *won't stop interrupting* the lessons all the time. As in, he will bring up completely unrelated stuff, or talk about this or that, or bring a topic that was talked about 10 minutes before because "he doesn't understand".
Most of the other classmates are getting tired of this, and the teacher isn't exactly a very good teacher in the sense that she's just...too soft. I'm not sure if it's because we're all adults or just her good nature, but she does kind of let the students step all over her a fair bit.
I'm getting tired of this too, because it's not like he's adding anything to the conversation, but just being incredibly disrespectful, so, I ask, would I be an asshole if next time he interrupts multiple times, I said something? Maybe asking him to just stop interrupting? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ADwLae9aLk0q5ZWBkcS2hJWT4DxKWtSJ | avzwme | {
"description": "ghosting the dealership",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for ghosting the dealership? | I've been sitting on this since December, but it still bugs me from time to time. This December I'm in the market to get a "new" car. I've been looking online for weeks and have narrowed my search. I take a day off work and start test driving and looking. I had been avoiding it, but there was one at the dealership that I felt was reasonably priced online, and had most of what I was looking for. So I drop by. The salesman let's me know it just arrived and isn't ready to be sold yet (so why's it online?) but he insists that I take it for a spin. "Works for me". Almost 1 hour later they have finally located the car in another lot that we have to drive too. Long story short, I spend 4 hours total at this dealership to test drive the car for 20 min. Anyhow, test drive goes well. I like it, I'm interested. We sit down to start looking at paperwork. 45 min, he finally has the right paper work. The price of the car is $2k more than sticker due to fees and taxes. (I get dealership fees, I get taxes. But two grand for a $14k car??). They are also only offering $500 for my trade in, where others had offered between $1,500 and $2,500. At this point, we are about $3,000 over what I expected to pay, and I'm irritated, so I don't even bother negotiating. I shake his hand. Tell him to call me when the cars ready and I might consider it(I hadn't found one I was ready to buy at this point). I leave and go look at another car I had found online while I was sitting around there waiting. I buy this other car the next day(guy gave me $2k for the trade in and dropped the price $1k. No dealership BS fees either).
So the dealership salesman calls and texts me the next two days. I don't reply. I'm too busy buying this other car, and I wasn't interested anymore. End of day 2 I get this voicemail:
"Mr. Xxxxxx, I know you're a business man. I'm a business man myself. And I call and text you several times yesterday, you asked me to do that, and you have yet to return my calls. That sir, that's just not what business men do, ok, in terms of trying to consummate something. Uh, you didn't want the vehicle, you know, you could have called me and shared that. I understand we get busy, I get busy too, but I always try to do what I say I'm going to do. But it's apparent you don't want the car because you never got back to me. I just didn't expect it to go like that. I'll talk to you hopefully in the near future sometime. Bye."
Keep in mind, I test drove 7 or 8 cars, and not one of them left a scathing voicemail calling out my ethics. I've worked retail, I've worked outside sales. I get that sometimes it's part of the business for someone not to get back to you if they've moved on! So am I the asshole for ghosting the used car salesman?
TLDR: test drive car I like. Price comes back way to high. Buy different car somewhere else. Never let salesman know. He leaves a bitchy voicemail. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
dRWEugpne0uJSBr6aJPuyYU20mh6YX93 | a45frc | {
"description": "kicking a special needs child out of my restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 324,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for kicking a special needs child out of my restaurant? | Using an alt for obvious reasons.
It’s last Friday night. My wife and I run a small mom & pop restaurant in the US. We are always busy on Friday nights, when we are filled to capacity we have 300+ in our restaurant.
We welcome people and groups from all background and all walks of life. We do not discriminate against anyone and take care of every customer like they are family.
We are mainly and chicken and seafood grill. We serve other items, but our main selling point is our hot wings and shrimp.
There was a family that came in last week from out of town with a special needs child. He was being very loud the whole time and screaming. I politely asked the family if they could calm him, as we were filled to capacity and the screaming was disturbing half the guests in our restaurant.
He calmed down, then about 5 minutes later he started back again except this time he was cursing and screaming racial slurs at an African American family sitting behind them. This is where I drew the line. The mother was distraught about it and apologized refusely, but I couldn’t let them stay. I asked them to leave, though I did give them 50% off their meal (I don’t feel like I should have.)
I let the African American family eat for free and gave them a voucher for a free order of hot wings, which they said they would use soon.
My thought process is, they were using slander and racist slurs against a large percentage of our clientele. I couldn’t have that.
Am I the asshole? My family tells me that I singled them out and embarrassed them in front of everyone, but if this was a national chain they were in doing this then they would have been kicked out immediately with no exceptions. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 296,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 28,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 324,
"WRONG": 28
} | RIGHT |
dMWCRypl7W55IUtmtECLAK42mfub6NSf | ae9xk4 | {
"description": "lighting my cigarette on a hookah on the sidewalk",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for lighting my cigarette on a hookah on the sidewalk? | I was walking down the street in the evening a while back, and having had a couple beers, I felt like a smoke.
I walked past a hookah bar that had tables in front, and a table of people had a big hookah going next to it on the sidewalk.
I pressed the butt of my cigarette into the charcoal on top for a few seconds and walked away taking a drag, but one of the men at the table stood up and started yelling at me saying that I had to ask before doing that.
So AITA for not asking before I lit my cigarette on that stranger’s hookah? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
hP8XUYoF7t8yYZGQrTtej12T8yxAizhk | b5sads | {
"description": "telling my brother his girlfriend is the worst",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I told my brother his girlfriend is the worst? | Nobody likes my brothers girlfriend, not even my brother but he stays with her for the sex and that’s it. My brother has never had trouble with girls but his new girlfriend makes him miserable. She constantly nags and fights him over dumb things. My brother is a know it all of sorts so when she digs her heels in and it turns out my brother was right, that day is over. If they are together she won’t stop touching him, even if he says stop or they are in public. She is making him a miserable asshole when he is with her since he talks to her in a condescending way. It’s not that’s she’s dumb but my brother is just has to very obviously hold back in conversations. It’s starting to effect my brothers and I relationship since I cannot hangout with just him anymore. The phone calls about my brother not answers texts in 10 mins is beyond annoying.
So am I the asshole for wishing my brother was not with this girl? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
z8C1cOa9fq0CYEEFYhr38aiwceVSp5Ev | aelvn8 | {
"description": "breaking my best friend's balls",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA - for breaking my best friend’s balls? | Long-time lurker, first time poster.
Some context... I (M34) have a best friend (F33), who’ve I’ve been close with for 14 years. We’ve never had any romantic involvement with each other and we’re solidly in a “love you like a sibling” type friendship. Recently, she got involved with a guy who was cheating on his GF to bang her. She went on about how close they were getting, how much she liked him, how much he liked her, etc. There’s other details that I won’t get into, but suffice to say that, from my perspective, it looked like this guy was playing her for sex. So I told her that. A few times. Fast-forward a few weeks and, surprise-surprise, the guy tells her that he’s staying with his GF and so they break things off. A few other things were happening concurrently with her - her own relationship with her (now ex) BF was falling a part and she had to move back in with her parents, a friend of hers died of cancer (after a year’s long struggle) and she had some weird skin reaction so her face was pretty busted for a number of days. This all culminated in some texts back-and-forth between us and I was breaking her balls about getting involved with some loser and that her face was gross (not my actual words, but you get the idea). It’s important to note that we definitely have a well-established dynamic of ball-breaking and that she had previously complained about her ex-BF for being too sensitive about such things. She’s since freaked out at me for what I said to her, even though at the time we were texting, I backed off and apologized once she told me she was offended. It’s been 2 days since that and she’s still going off on me and I keep apologizing and saying I wasn’t trying to offend, be mean, etc and that I was just breaking balls, but she’s not accepting it. I feel caught off guard by the whole thing, but do appreciate why she got upset in the first place (obviously she’s going through a hard time right now and I was a little insensitive and crossed the line), but the fact that it’s going on for days and now she’s basically not talking to me, unless to telling me to fuck off, is causing me to question myself. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
UdZ02eJXPgr3PEk4XQ3Umf49B4QFCSN6 | az0wxa | {
"description": "getting on the wrong bus after school",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA getting on the wrong bus after school | Back in high school (6 years ago) I used to get on a my friend’s school bus with and talk to them for a little bit while the bus was in the lot. Then I’d get off and go over to my bus before they all left the lot. I never caused any trouble. I simply sat next to my friends, talked for a bit, and then left (I didn’t really know anyone from my own bus).
One day, while exiting my friends bus, the driver shut the door, locking me inside. She told me that I was not allowed to leave the bus because I always come on and sit there and I don’t ride that bus. I told her that was unfair, and I was never told that this was a problem before — I had been doing this for almost 3 months with no issue.
I tried asking her to open the doors, telling her that this bus did not stop near my house, and that my parents would be very upset if she forced me to go to the wrong stop. This led to an escalation, and she refused to open the doors.
I was not going to ride this bus home to a neighborhood miles away from my house, so I decided to just sit on the stairs by the door in protest to force her to open the doors. I knew she couldn’t leave with me there, and I felt justified if she wanted to call an administrator over. Meanwhile, a line of students formed outside the bus door trying to get on.
Finally, after maybe 30 seconds, the bus driver caved and opened the door. Immediately a large student came running towards me up the stairs, threatening me with statements like “Bitch do it again and I’ll fuck you up” and similar statements. The bus driver did not acknowledge this student’s actions, and continued to express her anger over my presence. I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and walked off the bus.
I never went back on the bus, but me and my friends made a point to hang out right outside her door until the last possible second. We never had any incidents after that, but she always watched us closely.
Even now thinking back on the story, I feel that my actions were appropriate. In my opinion, what she attempted to do was kidnapping, and would have left me stranded miles from my house. Even though I wasn’t supposed to be on the bus, calmly asking me to leave would have worked just fine. I wasn’t there to cause an issue, just to talk to friends.
Disclaimer: This is based on my memory from 6 years ago. It’s possible I’m remembering some details wrong, but I know the group of friends I hung out with were not the type to cause trouble for the adults at the school.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
cM0pk6K2r9neOceB1NfVIQ4RD5kA3Spm | a2b5ov | {
"description": "making out with a girl on her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making out with a girl on her birthday? | Ok so throwaway account here on account of my age (17) and what I'll say here.
This is pretty long so I appreciate it if you're taking an interest in this.
So there was this cultural exchange program at my school in which around 16 foreign students came to my country for a few weeks; I hosted a guy who had previously hosted me in his country a few months back. One day, one of his peers approached me - I'll just call her "Peggy" - and started talking to me; I could speak her language (though as well as her) and I was super nervous.
I usually become really serious and reticent when talking to pretty girls and here it was no exception. The first time Peggy talked to me I was thinking "What the hell am I doing" and "I'm in over my head" non-stop. I don't think I'm really attractive or charming; this girl was the exact opposite.
Peggy and I talk on several outings and since our conversations gradually get more suggestive and her friends are encouraging me to do something, I invite her to my friend's pool, hoping to do something intimate with her. Peggy agrees and seems to be enthusiastic about it. The pool party would happen to be one the same day as her and her sister's birthday.
I had never had real physical intimacy with anybody before. The closest thing to this that I ever had was when a girl that I "dated" a few years prior kissed me on the cheek; that blew my mind back then but ultimately meant nothing and the relationship was too toxic/broken to continue. This thing with the pool could have been my first opportunity to do something like kissing or maybe something that went even further. I don't think I was ready for sex yet but I know I wasn't against the notion; I was actively aiming to do something sexual with Peggy.
So the day before the pool party rolls around. I get told that one of my classmates (I'll call her Yanny), who's hosting Peggy's fraternal twin sister, is planning a surprise birthday party for both of them the next day. On account of this, I have to cancel the pool party. And they're all leaving in two days.
I cancel with Peggy (much to her chagrin) and I have to tell her that I don't know what's happening the next day but that she had to be there. The next day I show up to Yanny's affluent house with the student I'm hosting, and Peggy and her sister arrive in the evening. At this point her friends are actively encouraging me to try and do something with her at this point and so one of her friends does me a favour and gets them to play hide-and-seek.
I ask Peggy if she would like to go for a walk; I unlock a padlock to the house's driveway gate and me and Peggy leave out onto the street. We walk, talk, and eventually make out - this blew my mind and it was an amazing experience, being in fact so amazing that neither I or her notice the dozens of text messages and frantic phone calls we'd been getting from everybody back at the house.
We stop once we notice people running outside looking for us and a car drive around as well. Yanny's elder sister pulls up in her car and tells us to get back the house.
It turns out we'd been gone for like an hour and they had been waiting on Peggy to cut the cake and sing happy birthday to her and her sister.
I was absolutely petrified. We went back to the house and I tried my best to hide from everybody out of pure shame. I apologized profusely to Yanny and her family for making them so anxious. She was extremely embarrassed and so was I; everybody knew of what had happened and even the principal of her school was there at the party.
Yanny's parents were probably extremely pissed since they made sure that, in the remaining two days they were in the country, that the students couldn't go on an outing without adult supervision. The next day there was a small dinner for the students at the school and I could tell I was being watched. Yanny's dad, Yanny's mom, and Peggy's "host dad" were conspicuously positioning themselves so that they always knew where I was. Just as I managed to go for walk with Peggy again, Peggy's host dad started calling for her and saying that they had to go home. I don't think that normally he would have done that and he did it solely to prevent her from doing anything with me.
Peggy ended up leaving and we've parted ways probably forever. \**Sigh*\* It's been like 2 months and I still feel awful for embarrassing her in front of all those people - and at her own birthday party, no less. I also feel pretty raw at the fact that I hosted this nice student and the whole time I was chatting up his friend (and took her out at her own birthday party like an asshole) under his nose.
It feels cathartic to express everything I've just said. I wanna know; I am the asshole or what? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0VfX5zIMU4fOMWzQRdkWNSG3tlHPaqzw | a72guz | {
"description": "being upset that my partner wants us to get separate beds",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset that my partner wants us to get separate beds? | Basically we just moved in together less than 2 months ago and my partner is blaming not being able to sleep in the new house on having to share a bed with me. He's never been in a relationship or lived with someone before now and I think that he just needs to give it some time so he can get used to the new space and sharing a bed with someone but he thinks the solution is that we sleep in separate rooms. This really has me feeling hurt because the best part of my day is waking up beside him and being able to snuggle up before work and I just feel like he isn't giving it a chance. The other part is that the spare room isn't a spare room it's my lab where I work on all my biology experiments and do my writing and there is no room for a bed there without me giving up my hobbies and there is one other room but it's his office and he isn't willing to give it up for the extra bed and is putting it on me... I think the solution here is to give it some more time for things to settle and maybe to get him a pair of earplugs. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GTeCM1o4aKk54vHMXFHk0aCdqs2vYowh | au338s | {
"description": "not letting my brothers brother in-law take a kitten",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not letting my brothers brother in-law take a kitten | So to start this off, we need some backstory. My brother and his wife went through some hard times a couple months ago. Back in May he started having a lot of trouble with his back, he's young so it was very surprising. He ended up getting diagnosed with a couple pretty bad things (won't go into detail). So during this, they ended up moving in with me and my parents (I'm a minor so I still live at home). Our houses are next door so it's not a HUGE deal. But.. we ended up starting big renovations on their house right before this, so their house was semi inhabitable and they no longer had the money to pay for it since he lost his job because of his back and her job barely pays (less than $500 monthly).
So they've lived here for 9 1/2 months now. It's been hard. We had to rearrange bedrooms and just change some things around. But nothing too hard. (Here comes the good part).
Her family is pretty crazy (its recognized by most everyone so I hope it doesn't sound biased) and so is she. They expect everything and don't want to give in return. So she has this attitude the whole time, we'll make dinner, she won't even say a thank you and then she'll leave her plate on the table and walk away (most times being quiet through dinner). So this goes on for a couple months.. in just about every aspect of life... (note you: my parents are currently paying nearly every bill of theirs, house payment, electric, phone bill ect.) and shes never even thanked them for a thing.
BACKSTORY OVER: HERES THE AITA!!!
They brought their fixed cat and unfixed cat over (both females). Well surprise surprise, their car got pregnant from our unfixed males. So they don't even take care of their cats, my mom does the litter, I feed them most of time. He works, so I get that.. but she just recluses in "her room" the whole time. So now, their cat gave birth and they're almost age to be able to give away and her sister and brother in law want one. They already have a cat.. and they lock in the bathroom, and when it's not locked in the bathroom it's being terrorized by their two big obnoxious dogs (80+ pounds). Since me and mom have been the ONLY person taking care of them, we claimed the kittens as her own. So her sister asked for the prettiest one of them all (he's a beautiful grey and white long hair) and I said no. I've been taking care of them and I don't want any (especially that one) going and being terrorized. Her sister got mad and claimed them as "(sisters names) cats" so it's her choice. I still refused and theres a bit of an argument going on now...
TL;DR: Brother and sister in law moved in with us and their cat got pregnant. They haven't taken care of the kittens at all but want to claim them as their own and send them to a home that I don't think it would be treated well
So AITA for not wanting the cat to be treated bad and thinking I have the say since I take care of them? | HISTORICAL | {
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yeu7YIe0HogNzBIA4kv6g0Z7zbSoBJw2 | 9tvy8l | {
"description": "asking for my dogs balls back at the dog park",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for asking for my dogs balls back at the dog park | Maybe this is a little tame for y’all, but here it is.
New city, new dog park, first time there. I bring tennis balls with me even though most dog parks have them laying around. My dog needs a LOT of exercise and won’t return balls that don’t smell like her slobber. We get to the park and I start throwing. Her first ball get taken by another dog, I say “it’s all good, that’s why I bring two”. Start throwing the second one, after a couple throws it gets taken by another dog. My dog is pretty polite but sly (stray for the first year) so instead of challenging for her things back she’ll try to sneak it back. Anyway, both dogs are growling at her when she shows that she wants one back. She goes back a forth, and one of the dogs drops the ball and growls/barks/snaps at her. The both owners are watching this and just chatting about something else. The owner of the snapper says something like “guess that’s her ball” in too friendly of a tone. I just stand there for at least a minute, so that someone does something (they know the two balls were the ones I brought and it obvious my dog wants one back). I say “could I get one of my balls back?” In probably a semi-frustrated tone. A third owner says “there’s plenty around the park”, I say “she only likes the one that smell like her”, then the two thief owners wrestle the balls away from their dogs and give them back. They all kind of scoff and I’m thrown a bunch of shade the rest of the time I’m there. Besides maybe ostracizing myself from my new park, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 25,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
6hBAKbLQOVxapHd1UgLdUu3TYLUtXt8M | akz0ci | {
"description": "not doing my share of the cleaning",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not doing my share of the cleaning? | So my gf and I moved in to our new place a couple of months ago, it worked out well because I got a job in the same town as her college and the place is right beside her college. So obviously being a student she has no money most of the time so I pay about 80% of the bills. Because of this when it comes to the housework I don't really put that much effort in. I do somethings but she definitely does more. Cooking we're about 50/50. It's just washing clothes and cleaning floors that I never really do. And we alternate on washing dishes. I just feel like since she only has 20 hours a week it's kinda fair with me paying for almost everything. I just feel bad if I get home to find my dishes are done or the laundry I was going to hang is up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
HqK0p6Wwwhil9SBsdMi0BXJAXvGX8cGt | b2an1k | {
"description": "making a joke with my friends in front of a carnival worker",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making a joke with my friends in front of a carnival worker? | A couple friends an I went to our local carnival a couple weeks ago. Everyone knows that carnivals are known for ripping you off and rigging games, so we weren’t surprised when we showed up and found out they weren’t selling bracelets for the rides, but we had to pay for every ride we went on.
This immediately ruined the mood but we decided to only pay for one ride, and take a bunch of pictures then just walk around and hang out like normal teenagers.
Two of my friends saw this basketball game where you shoot and can win jerseys, but you could tell it was rigged. They didn’t care, and we were all having fun. Then I went to do this game where you are supposed to hang from a bar for 2 minutes. I lost of course.
So now this is where I am curious if I was an asshole. We walk up to this toddler like game with basketball hoops. We were in line and the lady told us to wait. We did, she came up to us then did the thing where they pretend they are making you a deal by offering less money to play their game. I could tell this game wasn’t really rigged, but it was definitely a rip off. So I warned my friend and told him, “hey be careful, we all know all carnival games are rigged”.
She flipped her shit. She went on a rant about how she hears about carnival games are rigged all the time, and that they can’t be rigged or the game will be taken down. Then I walk away but my friends stay. I hear her say after, “ I was going to offer you this __ for 20$ but you know...” then glares at me. They ended up walking away, and it really ruined the mood. We left shortly after. My friends defended me after, but didn’t really say anything as it was happening. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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jBqbPqfngSvGGXRK1z3YKcRd8fTylXRW | b0s8gf | {
"description": "complaining about free accommodations",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for complaining about free accommodations? | Okay, so this happened some time back. Right around age 30, all of my best friends from high school started getting married. The most most successful guy in our group, Kurt, announced his engagement, and that it would be a destination wedding. He and his fiancée would be renting several adjoining beach houses, where the wedding itself would be held, and where most of the guests would stay. My friends Karen, Gina, Gina's husband Tim, my fiancé Ron and I were all offered accommodations there, which we eagerly accepted.
The time came to leave, and the five of us all piled in a car to make the 12 hour journey. It was a long drive, but we were a tight-knit group and and kept the hours in the car fun. Still, it was a relief to finally arrive at our destination.
When we pulled up to the address we were directed to, we were suitably impressed. It was a massive, four story house, directly on the ocean. We eagerly spilled out of the car and were greeted by our host, the groom. He welcomed us inside and offered us the tour.
We piled into the elevator (!), and began at the top. Kurt began leading us from room to room (or, suite to suite, more like), pointing out the sumptuous spaces and remarking on who would be staying there -- college friends and work friends, mainly. I don't remember exactly, but over 3 floors there were between 10 and 12 bedrooms total, most with their own en suite bath.
We finally reached the bottom floor -- the basement. Kurt stepped down a short hallway, extended his arm and said, "This one's your room." The five of us crowded into the doorway. We were greeted by the sight of a small box of a room, outfitted with a pair of twin bunks. Stunned, I opened my mouth and said the first thing that came into my head: "There aren't enough beds!"
Immediately, Gina, Karen, Ron and Tim started admonishing me, insisting to Kurt that this was just great, and thanking him for providing it. I was embarrassed to be the only naysayer, but I doubled down and reiterated the obvious.
Look, I got it. We were the oldest friends, the ones he least felt the need to impress. And we were a very close, easygoing group; I had absolutely no issue with the five of us being put into one room. But sharing a twin bunk bed, or, what? someone sleeping on the floor? when all the other guests were kitted out in luxury stung a bit.
Eventually, Kurt was able to dig a rollaway bed out from somewhere, so the problem was solved! But my friends (while relieved to have the 5th bed) thought my response was ungracious, that I made my friend feel bad unnecessarily, and reminded me our stay there was free. So, AITA for pointing out to our host that he had not provided enough beds? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
ck584HwdMpc5JpRdyJWcT508IZqNyhC2 | aif911 | {
"description": "wanting the bigger bedroom",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for wanting the bigger bedroom | So my family (younger sister, mum, dad, and I) are currently in the process of moving house, and there are two rooms (parents have taken the third) one big rectangular one, and another one which while still fairly large, has lots of odd corners and dips, making it more of a cross shape. My sister and I have to decide between ourselves who gets what, and obviously, we both want to larger room. Her reasoning is that she practices dancing in her room (she dances for a studio) , that I will only have it for 1.5 yrs before I leave for university, and that all I do in my current room is sit at my desk or on the bed, which is fair enough in all honesty.
My reasoning is that my desk doesn't fit in any of the gaps, making placing it quite awkward, and I'm only going to have it for 1.5yrs, so after I've left she can enjoy it for another 5 or so.
My parents have taken her side and called me selfish for 'thinking I take priority' - is this true? I'm not looking for anybody to settle our debate, I just want to know whether I'm in the wrong or not :)
Thanks for reading!
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
WXywqRDu93WPqhW7UHIe6Cz21XwEwvQ8 | asvp9l | {
"description": "cleaning my shoes with my sister's toothbrush",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for cleaning my shoes with my sister’s toothbrush? | I already posted this somewhere else but it fits here as well.
Our parents died when I was young so my my two older sisters raised me and my other sister. We were always short on money so they couldn’t afford to buy us a lot of things. However on my 15th birthday I was given my first pair of vans and they were white. My sister had a boyfriend at the time being 17 and all so he invited her to a family party and she asked me if she could burrow my vans. I’ve always hated sharing and didn’t want to let her use them but I was in a good mood and told her she could. It had rained for a couple of days so I asked her to please take care of them and not get them muddy. She come back on the next day evening and since she had a part time job she left but my shoes were left on the doorway completely muddy. Well the mud was dry already but they were white shoes come on. I didn’t even have time to confront her about the issue but I was so pissed and annoyed at her that she couldn’t even do the simplest thing. I was alone that day in the apartment and thought of a way to get back at her for my self satisfaction. We all know of that hack of using toothpaste to clean white shoes so I scrubbed them for like half an hour with toothpaste and her toothbrush and I’ve never done something so petty in my life. I don’t regret it till this day and haven’t told anyone personally. I guess at some point I did feel regret whenever she was nice all of a sudden but I end up taking it back.
Also I forgot to mention that she’s those kind of people that believes they’re always right and will disagree with you about anything. She’ll belittle anything you like or show any interest in and I hate that about her. I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t let her burrow my shoes she’d have made my entire weekend miserable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
KvaA4nVVn37rhXzjS3RK8xK1JbGudXqH | b6z3k0 | {
"description": "not wanting to work to cover a coworkers shift after a 73 hour work week",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to work to cover a coworkers shift after a 73 hour work week. | First off, this is first time posting so go easy on me.
So I work nightshift at a open kennel dog daycare/boarding business. We have a no kennel policy so the dogs have to be accessed beforehand hand so that they can roam the facility freely, all the while under watch of employees and separated by size and age. Since its "no kennel" there is someone in the building at all times and we have back up nightshift possitions to ensure there is someone there at all times.
This past week was spring break for most highschools in my town so the numbers for night shift skyrocketed. Normally during the week the numbers are under 10 dogs. But this week the numbers have been anywhere from 25 to 40. Because of that they had the night shift and backup come in so the night would go smoothly. Me and another coworker, call them (coworker 1) clocked in 47 hours over the weekend working a 6pm to 9 am shift, a 4 pm to 9 am shift, and a 4 pm to 7 am shift.
That Saturday was the first i heard of the numbers going up and the backups being required to come in, when they normally are not needed. So i freaked out and yelled at some coworkers becuase i had important plans that had to be canceled because of work. The thing is, i was happy to work because its a big money making opportunity, i just would have liked to know about the big week and weekend coming up so i wouldnt have made plans.
The following monday numbers went down a little so I wanted to give coworker 1 a break due to the long weekend we had, and because i was head nightshift and coworker 1 was backup. I did the same the following Wensday for another coworker (coworker 2).
Its now friday and i was told the numbers are going down for the weekend and backups should not be required. I ask coworker 1 if they could handle the night since they were head nightshift and i was backup. To which they responded with "yes i think so." Then not 10 minutes later texts me asking to switch shifts with me because their car was in the shop and didnt know how long it was going to take. I ask her if she could ask coworker 2 because they had only worked one night shift this week and i had already worked so much. Coworker 1 told me coworker 2 said that they "cant" with no other context.
The thing is, coworker 1 has been known to make up reasons to get out of coming to work. So my suspicions are high because they ask me the day before to cover their shift for the same reason.
I ask my manager about they situation and they simply responded with, "we need you to come in."
I have yet to respond and feel like im getting dumped with the shift no one wants.
So AITA for yelling at everyone for the lack of communication and not wanting to cover coworker 1's shift.
Thanks.
| HISTORICAL | {
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AVfY1pM6vkaBVHL8wCAQbHzZs097qxpJ | b7pn5o | {
"description": "not going on this trip with my mom and sister",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I don’t go on this trip with my mom and sister? | My mom has been planning a trip to Indonesia for months, which I’ve said no to going on every time she’s asked. She keeps putting off buying the plane tickets for it, in the hopes that I’ll eventually come around, but I have no desire to go and consistently say no.
The reason I don’t want to go is because we stayed in Indonesia with her family for 8 months when I was 10, and the memories I associate with it are of puppies dying and my mom’s family treating them badly; people over there don’t like dogs, so they leave them outside, throw sticks and rocks at them when they feel like it, will feed them by throwing a handful of rice and watching them fight over it, etc. The last time we went back, I started crying when I saw the newest litter of puppies, because I knew they would probably be dead once we were gone. The whole thing is a long story, but basically the place just reminds me of bad memories and I don’t like being there. The heat, mosquitos, and lack of indoor plumbing sucks too, but i’d put up with that if it were somewhere other than Indonesia.
My mom and I didn’t have a great relationship when I was growing up, but we’ve been on better terms in recent years. My dad has told me that this trip is really important to her and that I should go to make her happy. The last time we went to Indonesia (April 2018), I was forced to go despite saying no over and over, and my dad told me that if I don’t want to go the next time, I can say no and not go. Now that I’ve said no and it’s the next time, both my parents want me to go anyway. I don’t want my mom to be sad because I don’t want to go with her to see her family, but I also hated going there the last time and would much rather never go there again.
WIBTA if I don’t go?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
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2q0O7c5FI0ihdzgBoDHIOWJsjTmL2fH7 | auosrh | null | AITA I'll let Reddit Decide | A little while ago someone asked me out, this person, we'll call them A, is the other main person in this story. Basically she poured her heart out to me in a note and message and asked me not to show anyone; for a while I didn't...
I said no to her and we stayed on good terms - or that is until I got a girlfriend. She suddenly started randomly slapping me a0nd spreading rumours, basically trying to make us break up. It didnt work.
Then A decided to go after my girlfriend, literally physically assaulting her and overall bullying her. This isn't anything new: she does this to everyone she doesn't like. Long story short, she isn't well liked and no one ever sides with her. So I thought I'd try to get revenge...
Basically, I showed the world that love letter I mentioned at the start and it spread like WILDFIRE (This is in a school by the way), and she's crying, calling me a snake and just about ever curse word under the sun.
The thing is she decided to tell the world I don't even know what, but as anyone with siblings will know, whoever gets their story across first usually gets believed - That's what happened here.
So basically everyone thinks I'm the Asshole, so I thought I'd ask Reddit...
Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
tcejBI0szzruIuuCDTJFQsnF5EFdwLkB | a3knj5 | {
"description": "not pulling forward in a drivethru",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for not pulling forward in a Drivethru? | Hey Assholes!
So, this is more of a "way of life" type of post and im genuinely interested in starting a discussion on acceptable behaviors in this manner.
So, I believe that when you are at a window for a fast food restaurant, and there is nobody behind you, and even if there isn't, you shouldn't have to pull forward. In my mind, its not my issue should you not be ready to take orders and that is something that as the business you should be prepared to handle properly. If the fries aren't cooked or someone forgot to drop new fries to replace the cold stale ones, that affects everyone in line not just the lead car.
Especially in the case where there are no other cars behind you and they STILL ask you to pull forward, I politely decline and reference the fact that there are no other cars behind me and that I am comfortable waiting at the window for my purchase.
And by extension, I totally understand when there are situations where you made a significantly large order and its gonna take time to prepare. It may not be 90 seconds from window to window to make 4 happy meals with 2 Value meals to go, I get that but I'm a single guy and I'm normally just ordering for myself. What I'm talking about is normal activity, 1 order of a burger and fries and a drink.
So am I the asshole for not wanting to pull forward and simply wait at the window in line? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
e61WjG4k2zARenqyIZdIlZWHiIZhQTp3 | at451t | {
"description": "telling my sister in law to fuck off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for telling my sister in law to fuck off? | I’ll keep it short. My SIL and I were having a conversation about our jobs. I made the comment that as long as you keep your personal life and work separate, your personal preferences shouldn’t affect your occupation. She replies with,” that’s easy for a white male to say”. This coming from someone in their late 20s who is still in college, still having their way paid by their parents. And who has already decided that they’re not even going into the field they’ve studied. I replied with, that’s a very close minded, generalization don’t you think? You’ve obviously never had a promotion or raise jerked out from under you! Or put in hours of work just to have it thrown out the window! Along with a few other examples. And then I told her to fuck off, and get back with me when she grows up and actually has to work. Does this make me an ass hole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
4VfA8tSlGNLREfEGGBtYN5Krg8zYDUqp | akq005 | null | AITA: My partner tells me that I make her hate herself | I realise this one requires a bit of context; my gf gets really upset with some of my behaviours and characteristics sometimes e.g. not being very open with how I'm feeling, working at a slower mental speed than her, being incompetent with some tasks. She gets really frustrated with it all, voicing her frustrations and sometimes being quite mean and hurtful in the process. Though in an "unbridled wave of emotions" way rather than actually malicious or with intent to harm.
On several occasions she's cited this as getting her really down, feeling like a horrible person and telling me that my behaviour causes her to hate herself. My question is that is this valid? Am I really the one at fault? Is the root problem here my behaviour being the cause of all this negativity? Or seeing as she's feeling upset about the way she reacts to me is she the one at fault? Perhaps this is some kind of manipulative behaviour? Whether intentional or not. This happens over some things that are seemingly ingrained in my personality, though I understand that there are parts of me that are undesirable and could do with changing. Am I being the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2FmR0607zvDQCDufA2PH8jxLfgmEwMvD | asubq9 | {
"description": "declining an invitation to my younger brother's graduation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA If I declined an invitation to my younger brother's graduation | For some background I live in the same city as the school he will be graduating from as do our parents.
I graduated from the same school a few years ago, but declined to attend the ceremony. I was pretty fed up with the toxic environment of my major program and didn't want to spend a minute longer there than I had to. Thus, I did not attend my own graduation nor did any of my family. My parents said they would plan a small family get together to celebrate, but that never happened.
Fast forward to today.
My brother will be graduating in a few months. (I won't get too specific, but his degree from an obviously easier degree program.) Thee gap isn't huge, but we are not close and do not really talk outside of family functions, and even then we don't talk much.
I did ask him to be an usher in my wedding and he accepted then complained (behind our backs) he wasn't made a groomsman (even though my wife's brother was the only other usher.)
I know in a few months my nuclear family will ask me if I will be attending his graduation. To me, it seems silly for me to celebrate someone else's graduation more than my own, so I really want to say no. If pressed, I could say that you didn't go to mine either and make a joke of it, but I'm fully expecting backlash.
So would declining the invite be an asshole move?
I'm personally hoping it falls during the week so I can say "I have work" and be absolved of responsibility. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | WRONG |
XxWbSCC40Oq2AvhRVFRIOzq1rAGl0ftT | ao1r60 | {
"description": "not going to a boarding school",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going to a boarding school? | Okay, so, for my UPSR test, (which is the most important test of primary school in Malaysia) I got straight A's. I got an overall B in co-curriculum and for all subject I got either 6 or 5. I was known at school to be the "smart guy" because I got excellent marks without studying. (which confuses me as well) My best friends really want to go to a boarding school and boarding schools are really hard to get into. Three of my best of friends was accepted into the boarding school we all want to go to, which is MOZAC. I was also accepted. (which you probably should've figured out by now) All three of them accepted it while I rejected it. Might be stupid because in order to be accepted you need to apply to go there, the reason I said no was because I changed opinions and decided to go to a normal school. I told my friends about it but they weren't very happy, they say it was a "misopportunity". A lot of my new friends from my new school also said so. So, I wonder, am I the asshole for not going to MOZAC? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TcJgKLGu2ftsSuH2Hex3rufCzwf1W5cT | ahlr7o | {
"description": "resenting my friend's flirting",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for resenting my friend's flirting? | So, to give some context, I still really love this friend that I'm upset with. They're awesome, and when they aren't flirting, I enjoy being around them as much as I enjoy being around my really close friends.
​
Some context is that I developed some feelings for another really close friend of mine - let's call them S. I had them for a while, and I could tell that my other close friend, A, also felt that way. But S, as great as they are, aren't really very perceptive to romantic intentions. Plus, do to other circumstances, I was pretty certain they didn't return the feelings. That's okay - honestly, I value our friendship over anything else like romance, so I just told them for the sake of moving on and we grew closer after that. It stung for a while, but I got over it, and now I'm happy once again to just be their friend, even though I think I still have lingering feelings for them I'm working to overcome.
​
S has expressed numerous times before to not be romantically interested in anyone. So has A, and this may be me reading too into the situation, but I feel like they constantly are flirting with them and every day tells them how beautiful they are. "I love you"s, sending little wedding ring emojis, and gushing to the rest of us in front of S how gorgeous and amazing they are are common occurrences on an everyday basis. Maybe they genuinely don't mean to be flirting and are just talking about how great S is, and this may also still just be feelings of jealousy because I still feel towards S, but I can't help but feel like A must have some sort of attraction to them.
​
And again, S doesn't really understand, so they don't really encourage it or discourage it. They respond happily, but I feel like it's happily in a friend manner, like how they'd respond to me when I'd compliment them and such back before I told them how I felt.
​
And it really hurts me. I know feeling a certain way typically doesn't make me an asshole, but I'm worried it's started to cut into my actions. Now I lowkey try to change the conversation or steer them off course when this starts to happen, and I've even gotten a bit curt with A, which I feel guilty about. It's to the point where I left a group chat when it was going on because I just felt so awful.
​
I know a lot of this stems from personal insecurity, and the fact that I don't have many friends ATM. But it still really resonates how time and time again, they say that S is their favorite, most treasured person, and that they're so in love with them. It just... hurts. I'm starting to feel both really bitter, despite being fairly certain S doesn't feel romantically towards them, and also really insecure about my friendship with A.
​
AITA for starting to get tangibly upset by beginning to impede on their banter? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
GkblBmJ7w3VzToTfPifuYbZ9TfLGPMAu | ayxy11 | {
"description": "yelling at my parents to give me back my computer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for yelling at my parents to give me back my computer? | I am over 18 and I still live with my parents. They are the worst. My only escape is my computer drawing and animating. One day,my parents somehow figured out my password to my Microsoft account, changed it to a children account and added me to their Microsoft family. I hadn't noticed because they hadn't done anything. Until today. They set a screen time limit on MY OWN computer. I saved up for months for that computer. I worked many late shifts to earn extra. Then they set a screen time limit. This locks up the computer at a certain time and only an adult in the Microsoft family can unlock it. I was animating sometime when my computer says "times up, you can ask a parent for more time or to wait" I was confused. I wasn't in any Microsoft family, I thought. So I checked my Microsoft account. It says I am a child account. I'm confused. I check in the family section. Low and behold, there are my parents Microsoft accounts as adults. And I'm a child. I walk up to them and say "Unlock my computer and make my account an adult account. Now." They ignore me. So I repeated while raising my voice a bit. They yell at me for yelling at them. I say again, "Unlock my computer." They say no. Then they take the computer out of my hands and hides it somewhere. I'm still looking for it. Now I'm yelling at them. They took my property. Then they say "you will do what I say in my household." and I called them assholes. Then they said that actually I am and everything in their household belongs to them. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
sGTE62C6J1WbXtr3llQ6gY1xmVOCSZgH | b3uyc7 | {
"description": "wanting to go move in with my dad despite living with my mom almost all my life",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For wanting to go move in with my dad despite living with my mom almost all my life. | Using a throwaway account just for my safety.
Basically I’ve lived with my mom my entire life. She’s abusive, physically, emotionally, sexually, and verbally. My mom has tried countless times to get me to hate my dad. Because he was in the military, he moved around and my mom was not willing to stick by his side.
The last time I seen my dad before recently was 2 years ago. Then 5 months ago, he got in contact with my mother who then failed to tell me he moved back to -our home state-. Fast forward to 3 months ago, he found my social media and messaged me. He then said something along the lines of “For someone who really hates me you seem to be understanding”. That’s when i was confused because?? what??
He tells me my mom said that I SAID I wanted nothing to do with him. So i confronted my mom about it and she denied denied denied until finally she knew she had to tell the truth. Since then, I’d occasionally meet with him and his wife (technically my step mom) and go out to do something. They’re actually really nice. But here’s where everything goes downhill. My mom now wants to move. I don’t mean something small like Los angeles to Vegas. She wants to move from US to Canada.
Not to mention she’s never said anything about wanting to move. She says my dad is no good and he’ll just wind up breaking my heart and go have a new daughter since he has a new wife. I argued that he’s not like that and i could stay with him and in return, she beat me. My dad has a room for me at his house and says i’m welcomed anytime. I want to know AITA for wanting to go. Because my mom raised me alone and i know i am a burden so i’d seem selfish for wanting to go with my dad.
I don’t know what to really do if you guys could help, i’d appreciate it a lot!! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 18,
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} | OTHER | {
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qNW2z0pd2RCnfRGimV1dtLTPKjyiRbEp | 9xtni2 | {
"description": "calling the police on a guy that I thought was a pedo who just turned out to be a father with his young girl",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 59
} | AITA for calling the police on a guy that I thought was a pedo who just turned out to be a father with his young girl? | Yup title says it all.
I take the bus to visit my boyfriend on the weekends and it’s usually about a 3 hour ride.
Diagonally from me was sitting a guy and a small girl - about 7 years old.
He kept kissing her on the cheek and lips and stroking her hair telling her how pretty she was.
At one point, he took out a thermos and let her take a sip of something in it.
The guy looked really creepy and nervous the whole time like he kept turning his head around and looking at people.
It final dawned on me that the guy might be a pedophile grooming a child for sexual abuse and then I started freaking out about what might be in the thermos.
I went to the back of the bus and into the back room (which was filthy BTW) and called 911 to report a suspicious man and young girl.
About 10m later, the bus gets pulled off by three SUV cop cars who stormed on to the bus and yelled at the man to put his hands up and not make a move.
A female cop handed the girl a teddy bear and carried her off the bus.
The cops escorted him off the bus after putting him in handcuffs “for everyone’s safety” and talked to him outside.
They ordered the bus to remain where it was in case they needed to interview witnessed or have his luggage pulled off for inspection.
It turns out that after tearing apart his luggage and probably calling his wife or someone to confirm that he was the father, they let him back on the bus.
No one knew it was me that called but the entire time I was blushing and shaking like oh fuck did I do the right thing.
The father and daughter got back on the bus and we headed towards the destination. The daughter was quiet the entire time and I overheard the father tell her to sit down and be quiet and no more play time.
I felt like a dumbass but not only that I pissed off about 40 angry people who were late to their destination.
TL;DR: I called the cops on a potential pedo and it turned out that he was just a father with his young daughter. Better safe than sorry I guess?
So am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 59,
"OTHER": 7,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 59
} | WRONG |
B8MYDEvXhzo63UgWQUUUWoqVxmYY3YE7 | au1b92 | {
"description": "\"breaking up\" with my mom bc she didn't come to my daughter's 1st birthday party bc I wouldn't let her new boyfriend come with",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for “breaking up” with my mom bc she didn’t come to my daughter’s 1st birthday party bc I wouldn’t let her new boyfriend come with? | My mom tells me 2 days before my daughter’s birthday party that she has a new boyfriend...who is my age. I let her know he’s not welcome at my daughter’s party. Firstly, I don’t accept the relationship due to the age diff bc she did this once and the man went around my hometown telling people he was dating me, that I was a stripper and then ends up at bars hitting on my friends after they break up. So embarrassing. Secondly, I feel no need to ever meet any of my mom’s boyfriends,especially not during this event, as she’s had a relationship that lasted longer than a year and a half MAYBE twice in my lifetime. (I’m 30) She initially tells me she’s bringing him anyways or she’s not coming. Eventually, she agrees to come alone. Morning of the party she tells me she’ll be late as she has to do some things for my grandpa. She never shows. Doesn’t call, text, nothing. It’s been a week. I still haven’t heard a word. I ask my grandma to tell her to make sure she pays her part of the phone bill (she’s on my plan) and then my mom texts me and says, “I take it you don’t want to talk to me.” I got sad bc I love my mom but I told her last time she had a bf my age if she ever did that again I wouldn’t be in her life. I feel like she chose this random guy over me. What’s worse is I feel like she chose this guy over my daughter. If my daughter were older, this would have hurt her too. My moms not the type to have a relationship without shoving it in your face either so I just want nothing to do with. AITA for not speaking to her for skipping my daughter’s party and because I don’t accept this relationship? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
yRFldRzltzRH1D05y1AH7aIsqDguHhbZ | b6mnxw | {
"description": "telling my newly pregnant girlfriend that she needs to consider my opinion on whether to keep the baby",
"pronormative_score": 95,
"contranormative_score": 101
} | AITA for telling my newly pregnant girlfriend that she needs to consider my opinion on whether to keep the baby? | I’m 22 and Kate is 22. We’ve been together two years. We have never had a big argument, we live together, and she has helped me through a lot, including a death in my family.
We always use protection but we ended up getting drunk one night and we had unprotected sex. We thought it would be fine since she is on BC.
She told me yesterday however that she must’ve missed a birth control pill around that time and that she’s pregnant, about 5 weeks.
We talked about kids before in the past and we both agreed that neither of us wanted kids and if somehow she got pregnant, she would get an abortion.
Well now that she is actually pregnant she is telling me that she doesn’t think she can go through with an abortion.
I got really upset and said that we made a decision together a long time ago that she would get an abortion if this happened and that she has to consider my opinion in this.
She told me that it really isn’t my decision at all and that she is the one who is pregnant and she is the one who gets to decide. I said she was not being fair and I’m a part of this too but she isn’t listening to me and is planning to have the kid. I’m freaking out.
She is being delusional if she thinks we are at all ready to have kids. Neither of us have finished university and neither of us have a lot of money.
I really do think that she needs to listen to me and what I think about her getting an abortion but she just absolutely refuses to listen to anything I have to say about it and is planning on having this kid. I haven’t told anybody about this yet including my parents.
AITA for telling her I want her to listen to my opinion on her pregnancy? Should I really just shut my mouth?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 88,
"OTHER": 52,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 95,
"WRONG": 101
} | WRONG |
sn0KpUGyO9a5MshE4BEbXOVOIxP7NcQo | agrcxa | {
"description": "occasionally drinking even though my husband doesn't want me to",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for occasionally drinking even though my husband doesn't want me to. | My hubby grew up with a father who drinks a bit much. He says he dislikes him because of this. I sometimes like to drink a bottle on an occasional night. I don't drink everyday. May be once a week. He gets furious those days. He does everything he can like playing loud music that I don't like, waking me up early and swears at me, says hurtful things and more.
More background: even though we both work on similar jobs and earn similar money, I am the one doing almost all of the chores. He does a couple of chores but they are minor things that either doesn't happen frequently or takes little time. He doesn't even puts his dirty dishes in the washer. I do all the laundry. He eats an apple or drinks a can of soda and leaves them around. Even though I keep reminding him to pick up, he doesn't and sometimes they just stay there for days until I pick up and throw them in the garbage. Whenever I ask him to do something I usually spend time on, he does it and blames me saying things like "I lost X hours because of you." He also doesn't appreciate all the things I do.
I resent him. Should not I let off a bit of steam? Is it my problem that his father drunk so much? Am I the asshole for not listening to him and drinking occasionally? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Ft4XMjUfEwCObDIBLc40oywKSZmAND6G | a0tg99 | {
"description": "calling a girl fat",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for calling a girl fat? | So this happened a few months back. I had this friend let's call her TA, we've been quite good friends, shared similar interests but I always felt she is entitled but I didn't mind, let her do her and I do me right?.
I was at my friend's birthday party and my friend wore a dress which was similar in Color to a dress she wore to her birthday, I was posting clips and pics of the party on my Insta story and she DMs me saying 'That girl is wearing the same dress as me' she even sent pics of her, I just humoured her and ignored it with a 'lol'.
Time skip to a few weeks after that party, we were at a friend's cafe and we got into a discussion about double standards, I'm a skinny guy but quite comfortable in my skin, she was on the bigger side of the scale. I was telling her that I get called skinny a lot. And that's where the double standard comes in, people don't mind calling people skinny but calling anyone fat is a huge no no. And I personally am not attracted to fat girls. Then she starts going on a rant about how calling girls fat is misogynistic and that I'm objectifying women, she even went as far to say that the word fat doesn't even exist in her dictionary. I was getting really pissed off at this point and I asked her clearly
Me - So you find nothing wrong by calling me skinny?
She - yes
Me - But I can't call a girl fat?
She - yes
Me - Don't you see the double standard there?
She - No.!
Me - *facepalm*
She has been calling me skinny quite a lot in the entire conversation. I told her that she's fat and I find that unattractive(I wanted to provoke her), this is where she blew up and starts saying that I'm a misogynistic male who objectify women and she wouldn't ever date a skinny guy coz that's unattractive. I try to tell her that, that's my entire but she won't listen and keeps calling me a misogynistic pig. I have given up at this point and straight up told her that she's an insecure woman and not to project her own insecurities onto me. I asked her again if she truly believed if the word fat doesn't exists in her dictionary and she was yes 110%. I saw that this was not going anywhere and left to buy some cigarettes, when I came back she was leaving. I heaved a sigh of relief.
We had another spat on Instagram DM about the same issue and she brought up something personal that I shared with her, which she used to shame me. She ended up unsending that message and I called her out on that but she didn't respond to that later she blocked me and put me on blast on her Insta story, my friends showed my a screenshot of her story but I don't wanna deal with her anymore and ignored it.
So AITA for calling her fat, while she had no problem calling me skinny? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
7giJ9cmJ6f6okYG3CbOX0ABEgJdalEVc | 9ydt7b | {
"description": "getting mad at my wife for leaving our babies' dirty diapers all over the house",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for getting mad at my wife for leaving our babies’ dirty diapers all over the house? | We’ve got two babies, only about a year apart, so the last 2 years have been non-stop diaper changes. Since day-1, my wife has had a bad tendency to do diaper changes anywhere other than the changing tables (even the additional one I went out and bought to make it more convenient for her), and just leaves the diaper wherever she happens to be - lots end up on the floors, some on the night stands, desks, tables, countertops... you name it, I’ve found a dirty diaper on it. We have multiple diaper pails, all easily accessible, and she still barely ends up putting them in there (often even find she’s set a diaper on top of the lid of the diaper pail, instead of taking 2 additional seconds to open it and drop it in).
After asking her about it several times, and making “mommy’s hiding dirty Easter eggs all over the house” a daily passive-aggressive inside joke, I decided to test her and refused to clean up the diapers she leaves myself. Literally dozens of dirty diapers all over the house, until she finally decided it was too much and threw most of them out (not even all of them). Did this several times, all same results.
So I recently kind of flipped my shit on her about it. Our bedroom was smelling nasty, and took me a while to find an old dirty diaper under our bed that was in disgusting condition. It felt like the last straw breaking my back, and I criticized her for being messy and lazy in general... Now she’s mad and I feel terrible for potentially being the asshole, but... am I really the asshole, though? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
w1qYWbQYFzOCzo2fg1kNB8PY1gYRmFFq | akhsek | null | AITA boyfriend gave away a gift he gave to me. | My boyfriend got me a bracelet a few weeks ago, mind you he never gives me gifts "just because", I have a very physical job and havent been able to wear it since he gave it to me. As it was pretty fragile. I was planning on wearing it when I go out. Anyways, I've been over the moon because of it and had it sitting in the bathroom. Today, his 9 yr old had a birthday party to go too for his "gf" they didnt have a gift so my boyfriend decides to take my bracelet and dropped it into a box. Told me "you don't even wear gold anyway" and off they went. I told him I was mad about it. Sent him a text saying that I'm very hurt about it, and it even made me cry and feel unappreciated. Of course, He hasn't responded all day. So reddit, AITA? Please advise. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
U2RkJxW6u83kMoitqSHfq4dNSnaXFf6T | b6mgz3 | {
"description": "being upset about lack of communication and priority",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset about lack of communication and priority? | AITA for how I reacted
I feel like my boyfriend will put everything before me.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years, we work shift work and live about 45 minutes away so we have limited time to spend together. He came over to stay the night after work on Tuesday, knowing I would have to be at work at 11:30am on Wednesday. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind coming to my place as I had 2 double shifts in a row.
Unfortunately on Tuesday night I was up all night with the flu, barely slept in the same bed, taking up residence on the couch not wanting to wake him when I ran to the bathroom to vomit.
Eventually he woke up and found me on the couch and sat with me for a bit, then went and got me some fluids, and went home. He had the next two days off and I know he needed to get some work done (he is doing an online course). I asked him at that time can he come over on Thursday if I’m feeling better “he said maybe if it will make you feel better”, so he spends the day doing work then goes out for wings with some friends and they play board games at night.
He messages me at 11:30pm when he is about to sleep and again I ask if he can come over the next day. Again he says maybe he can do it.
Flash toward to today, I’m feeling a bit better but not 100% so I ask him if when he is done his school work if he will come over.
He says he wants to watch baseball at 3pm, I tell him he can watch that at my house with me! And he can bring his work over for after(I have class work I need to do as well) he says he won’t get any work done. And his whole plan was to do school work and watch baseball. At this point I’m a little upset and I ask him, where was this plan when I was asking you yesterday, if you’d come over.
His response was “it was his plan and he didn’t communicate that to me like he should have”
Now I’m pretty upset, I feel like baseball, is taking priority over me. I rarely ask him to put other things before myself, and I know school work is important. But it feels like he is willing to sacrifice his schoolwork for things he wants. I am also frustrated because when I asked him why he didn’t tell me this was his plan from the get go if it was “all along” and he said it’s cause I would have been mad at him yesterday.
He is known to be horrible at communicating about things and he have run into this problem numerous times. In the messages he tells me to leave him alone numerous times, and swears at me.
I do not reciprocate swearing or telling him to leave me alone.
Now he is trying to back track saying I don’t want him to do his work, when I initially asked him to come over when he was done his work, and he was the one saying he was watching baseball.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
Am I the Asshole for feeling upset about being a priority and lack of communication?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
FH2utQJfVYAFQ27I65txpzvdCkBREkLu | av4di2 | {
"description": "blocking my ex on snapchat at my new girlfriends request",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for blocking my ex on snapchat at my new girlfriends request | So my ex girlfriend went to on a Disney trip and couldn’t be on her snap because her dad is crazy about having phones out on family trips so she left me with the responsibility of keeping her streaks, which I find stupid (keeping streaks).
While I was keeping them I found out that she was cheating on me with a guy I really hated. Let’s just say that her name is Alexis and the boy is Brandon. Alexis lost all my trust and lied to me for weeks and I exposed her for it and ended it right there.
So after two years of high school (now Juniors) we grew closer and started dating again. I have had many loyalty issues since then but never cheated while dating her. Around christmas I stopped having feelings for her but decided not to break up due to the stress of finals and Christmas. But around January I broke up with her. I never gave her my christmas present because we never hung out FOR ALMOST A MONTH.
On February 5th I started dating “Lindsey” because I actually feel happy with her. Alexis is upset because I essentially moved on in a few weeks which I understand. But then she talked shit about Lindsey and Lindsey doesn’t like that so she made me block Alexis. I still believe Alexis has a good heart so me and Lindsey got in a giant fight about it which resulted in me doing it against my will. Lindsey has my snapchat so she could see if I blocked her or not. Now Alexis is depressed and told her mom she hates coming to school and my mom told me this looks bad and Alexis is sweet but I can’t unblock her due to Lindsey, I don’t want her to be mad at me I love her.
So should I unblock Alexis even though she hurt me and talked shit. Me and Alexis have already talked about all this and she yelled at me in the hallway and I yelled back and I told her me and Lindsey weren’t dating because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but she found out otherwise.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
clYF5icdpF55pbI79Z8oSL4wzgjUPJnl | atwes5 | {
"description": "telling bf I didn't like his gift",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling bf I didn't like his gift? | This is the first year that he's gotten me a "real" gift for my birthday.
This morning I woke up and there were flowers on the table and a card. And in the card was a gift certificate for a gel mani pedi at a salon I've never been to.
Some things to note:
* I've expressed "I can't remember the last time I got my nails done" a couple times, but always followed with "I need to ask my mom if she wants to go for manipedis at (usual spot)". I don't get my nails done alone, and getting my nails done is so rare that I don't go to unfamiliar salons. Each salon in my area has its own vibe and its own set of unspoken rules and it's stressful going somewhere new.
* I NEVER get gels. I've gotten gels once in my life and it DESTROYED my nails.
* I gave him a list of gifts I wanted. New pajamas, jewelry, something from this cool curio shop down the street that he used to get me stuff from, a chess set, some board games.
* I've told him before I don't want "experience" gifts. The last one he gave me was a trip to the shooting range for an intro class even though I have no interest in learning to shoot a gun. Every time he does an "experience" gift he misses the mark.
I just felt my heart sink. It was sort of thoughtful I guess? Like I said I mentioned once or twice that I wanted to get my nails done with my mom. So I can see why he might have gone for that. But it also felt kinda like he just hadn't gotten me anything and stopped by the first salon he saw on the way home from work. And I know I won't use it.
So I called the salon and talked to them and they said that it could be refunded no problem, which was a relief because some salons don't with gift certificates. But I still wasn't sure if I was going to bring it up to him or not. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings and I think he really did try to get me something thoughtful. But it's also not something I could have returned stealthily because he'd see the amount refunded to his card.
When he woke up I thanked him for the card and the flowers. He asked directly if I liked the gift and I said it was very thoughtful and I appreciated it. He said "So you didn't like it then?" And I said "It's more that I won't use it and I feel bad that you spent your money on something I won't use. I love you and I know it came from a good place and I'm grateful, but I can't get gel nails and I don't want to go to a new salon all alone." And his face fell and he looked crushed. "Fucking waste of money then. Great." I explained that I called the salon and they said they would refund it and that it's not a big deal. That the fact that he thought of me means more to me than the gift, but that I also just really hate knowing he spent money on something that would sit in a drawer and never get used if I didn't tell him the truth.
Since then he's just been kinda quiet and I feel like a total tactless asshole.
Lay it on me Reddit, how much of an asshole am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
IzpUpAS9wBx1Zum2WaeX3onN9xK1DyLN | b5tcha | {
"description": "being undecided about children while my MIL is pushing for news",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being undecided about children while my MIL is pushing for news? | First time posting and it took me a few minutes to figure out, so bare with me on this.
My husband and I have been married for over 12 years. In that time each of our siblings have had children<we have 12 nieces and nephews now>. We love our nieces and nephews but we are always glad when they go home or when we leave from visiting with them.
Recently my MIL surprised us with a visit and preceded to drop hints about children. She brought up the fact that a cousin to my husband is having a baby after no one thought she would have kids. Then my MIL went on to tell my husband how she had bought him something to help him with his s-count<this isn't the first time someone in his family bought him something like this>. This made me and my husband look at each other like...really, you did that MIL?
The visit progressed some, getting off topic of babies but MIL rounded out coming back to me, asking me about my drinking. I rarely drink, though I did at her house for Christmas, but other than that, its not much<my friend and I are convinced my MIL wants me to get drunk and conceive a baby that way>. She continued on by saying how she keeps waiting for that phone call from us about having a baby, and how she wants to see a little version of my husband running around.
We pretty much had to tell her if it happens then it happens, which fell on deaf freaking ears. She kept at it till I finally said we would decide by my birthday if we would try seriously for a baby, as we were not in a good place financially at the time.
She seemed disappointed and left not long after that.
I love my MIL and she has been very good to me when I needed someone to talk to but lately its every time I see her. In November, she brought it up in front of the family at a funeral dinner, asking if we had thought about kids.
A few days after her visit, I saw on social media that another of my husband's cousin and his wife are having twins. I know that will be the discussion for the next time we see her. I'm honestly not in the mood to deal with a baby discussion with anyone in my family or my husband's.
I love kids but at this time in our lives we just want to be able to do what we want, take trips and enjoy our marriage but really, am I the asshole for being so undecided?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
aCcIxO775kETriVZFzvS33O6yVonGoxq | b1zkrw | {
"description": "not knowing how to get these titles",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not knowing how to get these titles? | Sorry I just didn't know about how to get the titles like "Partassipant" and "Asshole Afficiando".
Could someone please explain to me how that works? I'm new to this sub.
I hope this doesn't get taken down. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
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} | RIGHT |
9Hrw7jlYsBUlNSxPpWK0x5ZAVPZzbKYF | aihu8i | {
"description": "not wanting to hang 24/7",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang 24/7 | My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 and a half months. I told her before we started dating that i am very serious about my time and my hobbies i hope to turn into work someday. But recently she and I got into a fight. She was upset that I hadn't been texting her back fast. Granted it would be hours until I responded but I was busy. Not ignoring her. I told her that it would be like this. I love her alot but I need my time to do my activities. And I have been responding faster but I still think she shouldn't have gotten mad and instead talked to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YS954hbX9eRB8c2QGMPkXqlIJbOVpwX6 | aj6obd | null | AITA If I've been thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend for 2 weeks now? | I feel like he's not invested in this relationship as I am. Or am I just way too invested? (He's my second boyfriend, I used to just fool around..)
&#x200B;
We used to see each other every day but everything started to change when he lost his job and couldn't drive anymore,(almost 2 mos now, we've been dating for about 5 mos)
&#x200B;
1. All he do is play PS4 all day and has stopped calling me every night before we sleep and morning once I wake up like he used to. All calls had stopped
&#x200B;
He barely talks to me anymore and barely give me any attention at all. He'll only talk to me whenever he's not in a game. Then I saw that his clan has those IG girls with them, and they're pretty good too, w 3+ KD. Few of them are even teasing my bf to this one girl, which is really bothering me. Cos my bf is playful/flirty in nature, to everyone..he's been playing w those girls everyday and he cant even call me...
&#x200B;
2. Anyways, he wont even show interest in making an effort to see me. I know he can't drive, but can't he bus just to see me? his house is not that far from my place. Or he can have his friends drop him off at my place whenever they play bball.
&#x200B;
I can't feel his presence anymore and its stressing me out. I feel like he doesnt even like me anymore.Weekends are my only easy free days, cos I work 3pm to 11pm. Shouldn't he be eager to see me during the weekends? cos he's not.
&#x200B;
He didn't came to see me last weekend, now he's saying he can't come this weekend to my friends' party cos he alrdy sd yes to his other friend. i mean last time i saw him was over a week ago. it'll be 2 wks if he still wont show up this weekend. It's like i have an ldr with someone who's just 10 mins away from my place.
&#x200B;
I'm trying not be needy, i even started playing COD too. but i just feel like i don't have a bf at all..
&#x200B;
ALSO, I was so pissed one time I told him if he doesn't want anything to do with my why not just leave.. he acted like "like wth why would you think that" blabla
&#x200B;
Am I being too needy and prioritizing our relationship way too much? Or am I an ass for thinking he's not worth it anymore | HISTORICAL | {
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JivyFoQGE7Rvuwt91aAXrBzYxXmwxO8s | b3056i | null | AITA? Step-daughter/Finances | AITA? Step-Daughter/Finances
I agreed to co-sign on a Student Line of Credit for my step daughter who planned out the repayment of this loan to the bank. I felt that she was genuine in her planning and I knew she needed the Line of Credit for school related expenses (which were also outlined in the plan).
She had planned to pay back this loan to the bank within 3 years. It was a smaller amount of money - about $5k and she was in her last year of school.
12 months rolls around and she gets pregnant. Ok, not in the plan, but she had finished school and actually had a not too bad job.
She moves out with her boyfriend, has the baby, loses her job and gets another. During this time she is making only minimum payments on this loan, which means she will be paying for this for the next 20 years at least, and even then, that would be optimistic.
We spoke about this and her original "plan" and I realized at this point, I could not force her to make larger payments, and she was still making the minimums so all I could do was let it go.
Fast forward 4 years. She has had her boyfriend charged with domestic assault as a result of an incident, she moves back in with her mother, gathers her finances and manages to get a place of her own.
She managed to get pregnant AGAIN with the man who had a restraining order due to the pending charges. Because their case had not yet been settled, and they had both agreed on the restraining order, no contact, etc., this pregnancy came as a surprise (understatement). She told our 4 year old grandson not to talk about the fact that his father had been coming around (and eventually moved back in during the period of the restraining order), and she common law husband ended up lying in court stating that he was abiding by the order.
The shit hit the fan when we asked her about this, as we felt that our grandson may be in danger given the nature of what had happened. That's when she proclaimed because her father and I were not "happy" enough about this baby that she was cutting us off.
I look at my banking app recently and I realized she had stopped making payments. Great, my credit rating is on the line, so I start making the minimum payments.
Since she is not "speaking" with us, she did not advise that she would be stopping these payments.
We had been very active in our grandson's life (the first baby). We took him to a lot of places, and spent a lot of time with him. We were heartbroken that she made the decision to keep him from us, and started to review our options when the payments stopped and shifted our focus.
We decided that after us trying to contact her, and her not responding that we were not simply going to pay this off for her, and we filed in small claims court. She will be served next week and we will need to appear before a judge if we cannot work this out.
Given what happened neither he nor she will ever be able to face us again. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
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} | RIGHT |
xtymwqxHfR5RSUxyaUm4ox58pZgBIaaB | b27d5i | null | AITA | Ok I have been dating this guy for 3 years. He is from India and we have talked about getting married.
We have had a lot of relationship trouble over the years.
We are now trying long distance but I dont know if it will work out. My eyes sort of stray.
He wants his parents to move in with us after we get married and his sister. My own family life was not that good and the idea of having one scared me.
I'm scared that his parents will try to raise my kids and control me like my grandparents did to my mom and dad that lived with them.
I told him about my concerns and that I'm not too comfortable with it and he told me:
"Well you have to be. Whoever I end up with has to accept that. Me and my family."
I really dont want to lose him but idk if I want that kind of pressure. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MKex3wH355PFNnYIZx9qtDuNJmK7PDoz | b141hj | {
"description": "being clingy",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being clingy? | Alright,first time poster and I’m on mobile so if I did anything wrong please tell me,also English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct me.
This happened about two to three years ago so details aren’t as clear as they used to be.The reason why I’m posting this so long after it happened is because I keep thinking about it and my mind needs closure.
So I met this girl online because one of my friends introduced us to each other,we became good friends pretty quickly,we talked a lot and everything seemed to be going really well.
One day she vanished though,I was never sure why but she did get rid of all of her social media accounts,I was crushed(I didn’t know it back then but later I realized that I had a crush on her).About a year or so went by without any sign of her and I lost hope.
One day I got a Pm though,it was her,I was ECTASTIC,we talked for what seemed to be hours and I was so happy.
Days went by and I realized that we didn’t talk as much as we used to,I thought that was normal since it had been a long time since we last chatted and we both changed quite a bit.
It became really awkward when all I would get whenever I tried to start a conversation was “ok” and “alright”.I was currently in a really deep low in my life due to issues in my home so I started to panic.
I constantly tried to calm myself down and told myself that it was fine and she was probably busy,but it got to the point that she wouldn’t even akwnowledge me,I felt awful during those days.
I did end up approaching her about it but never out right stated that I felt like she was ignoring me,she seemed apologetic and told me that she promised she would talk to me more.
That never happened.
Due to my mental state I would usually make posts here and there talking about how my mom was insulting me again and all that stuff,I did hint at the fact that I felt like a friendship was falling at one point.
About half a year of “ok” and “alright” being our only exchanges she finally messaged me,it was a long message so I felt a bit scared.
The message was about how I had abandoned her and was being toxic,I was a bit...confused,mainly because I’d been the one trying to strike up conversations and was trying to hold the friendship from falling apart,she remained firm though because she said that another one of her friends could testify that I was the one ignoring her.
The messages were us trying to to convince the other and due to the stress from the situation and everything else that was going on in my life I did snap and said I wish I hadn’t been born,a big low from me and I regretted saying that immediately,she used this as evidence that I was a toxic friend though.
The rest was the same as all of the other messages and after a while it stopped.I haven’t talked to her in years and my mind says that I’m the asshole.
So yea,I tried to give as much information as possible but f you want more details I will gladly give it to you.
| HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ZVlCpqvUfax3hmHaq24C7m8z3cc6Urw4 | ac7okd | {
"description": "not going to a viewing",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA- For not going to a viewing | Looking for some Judgement of the following situation.
I found out via social media that a friends dad just passed away. I have not seen this friend since his wedding 7 years ago (same with the father). Growing up we became good friends in school through sports and mutual friends. But I have fallen out of touch with this group since college and have not been in contact with anyone since his wedding 7yrs ago.
Here is where I need my judgement...I was contacted also via social media by another high school friend (cell phone numbers have all changed) of the viewing arrangements. One day with two 2-hour time slots (AM & PM). I am not able to make the earlier time due to work and picking up kids from daycare. Then also not able to make the evening time slot due to prior engagement (ticket's to an event).
I have reached out to his wife and have since received his cell number and have texted our condolences.
&#x200B;
WIBTA for not making it to the viewing? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
eVYehVhgFRK87avXqnUBbmyOZNVwr3Co | ah22gk | {
"description": "backing into a parking space",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for backing into a parking space? | I was out with some friends, split up in two separate cars (three people in my car, two people in theirs. We entered the parking lot, they were behind me, but I wanted to back into my parking spot. Mind you, there were other spots nearby so I wasn't taking the only one. I always back into spaces when I can. It's easier and I can leave more quickly.
So anyway, I turn on my signal (to let them know I'm turning into the space now) I wait a few seconds, back up just a little bit and wait a few more seconds just in case they hadn't figured out that I was reversing, and then I backed into the space. They then parked in another space, but when we all got out of the car, both of the people in the other car were angry and said that backing into a spot is a d-bag move.
The other two passengers that were in my car thought that I was fine backing in.
If it makes any difference, the two in the other car are from large cities in California, so I don't know if parking etiquitte is different there.
Am I the jerk in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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S7YjnP78ksQzTYBjwhYNzoQS66SNrA1U | a1xdvp | {
"description": "wanting to cut contact with a best friend, now recent bride",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to cut contact with a best friend, now recent bride? | AITA - For wanting to cut contact with a best friend, now recent bride?
This friend of mine (26F) has been fading away slowly. It wasn't a day over night thing. For the past 3-4 years she started to become distant. Everything would be the same when we were together, but she took a lot of time even to reply to texts (months sometimes), would make plans with me and others and later ditch on all of us. She was always flakey, but got worse over time. Giving not even a single excuse, would cancel lunches, dinners, meetings. Last minute, usually.
We share the same circle of college friends, so It's very hard for me to be the one to set up the fire. Calls and texts only happened to ask for information on things. Or small favors. Or big favors. But of course, I liked her very much and I'm still very fond of the good years and good moments we shared. But I never had a heart to heart talk. I should have had, but I didn't want to stir things up. Or maybe I should have let her go a long time ago. But, I didn't because I don't usually quit on people easily.
She moved back to her home town (2h train distance) in January 2018. I barely heard from her ever since. I reached out and asked her if everything was ok and wished her good luck on an issue connected to her job. I heard from her twice this year. Yesterday was the second time to tell me over text the following: "Im getting married. It will be In April. Be my bridesmaid. I will tell all you need to know in January 2019." On a Whatsapp group we share with the other bridesmaids and fellow friends. Apparently, I was the only one who didn't even now she fell in love, got into a relationship and eventually got proposed. And this isn't even recent, she was proposed a while ago. Yes, everything was unpredictable and incredibly fast. Not her style of behavior at all. Again, I was the only one I didn't know anything at all.
And now you say: well she was in love. Friendships change. Yes, and I would give her all the space she needed, naturally. But, I was the only one in the dark and for no reason. Beware, we were very very close. Both single children and clicked wonderfully on many levels. Travelled together. Confidents. Drove her to college many times. Always being there for her when she needed.
I wished her well of course. And congratulated her on this new stage of life.
Her reply to me in private? "I kept you in the dark for so long, I was hoping you wouldn't go so mute about my marriage. You are too chill. But thank you for your good wishes." Passive-aggressiveness to a level I never even seen before. Specially from her. Also, marrying in such a short period of time? Very atypical. She is the least impulsive woman I have ever met.
Never even shared how they met. Or even his name. Nothing at all.
I'm already shattered and grieving this friendship. Hell, I even cried. I don't have any siblings, but it feels like loosing family. I have been thinking non stop over this. What have I done? Why does she think I'm a doormat thats puts up with all bad behavior and goes along with it? I should have had a talk a while ago. Why the distance?
All this mixed signals and ghosting on her part now makes me wonder if she cared as much as I did. Maybe not. Definitely not. I feel used and confused above all.
So, AITA for wanting to cut contact and not even attend the wedding?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PdD4tTOsnREuBpiKjr9baWX0YN21ehai | b9tos3 | {
"description": "talking to my Gf's mom",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA If I Talked To My Gf’s Mom? | Long story short, my girlfriend got kicked out of her moms house for taking her Debit card and checking the balance at a local ATM in town. She is now living with me, but she cannot stay with me forever. I am at a college dorm (for guys only) and I do various I campus events that involve showing off my room for campus tours.
Yesterday I toyed with the idea of talking some sense into her mom as to if the GF could move back in. They are both being really really petty towards each other after this incident. My GF said she would be really really mad at me if I reached out to her mother and tried to talk to her about the situation.
WIBTA if I reached out to her mom in an attempt to solve the issue ?
TL;dr GF got kicked out of her moms house. She’s currently staying with me in an all boys college dorm. This could potentially conflict with certain campus events that I am in charge of. Should I talk to her mom to see if they could fix this situation? GF doesn’t want me to say a word to her mom.
Edit: her mom adores me and values my opinions | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
9d1A13r2UcGJdtPXVgvotxjm2ogbL72P | anpthy | {
"description": "not wanting to celebrate my birthday with my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to celebrate my birthday with my family? | Tomorrow next week is my birthday, and every year there is this big discussion about me and my relation to my relatives. I only talk to my older brother because he is the only out of my family who I can trust and who I respect. I can't trust or respect the rest of my family for certain reasons, but my brother tells me that "it isn't like that anymore" and that my family "misses" me. I know that isn't true, I don't even have to consider a possibility. My brother wants me back in the family, and about two hours ago he called me and told me that he and the entire family will come to my house, and that they'll "break down the door if they have too", so they can celebrate my birthday. I told him that he can come, like every year with his wife and children, but not them. He told me that I was an asshole, I wouldn't appreciate the work he is doing to keep me in the family tree and hung up. Am I really an asshole? Am I wrong, should I give my family a chance? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mWBHYE0kkW86t3rxG5t8OZXeBe4M1n4h | agoile | {
"description": "thinking my Wife's picky eating is selfish",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for thinking my Wife's picky eating is selfish? | So let me preface that my wife does NOT have sensory issues with eating, she does not have ARFID because I realize that is a REAL issue.
Let me preface this that we've been married for 8 years, have 1 kid (4 years old) and this has pretty much been a battle for the entire marriage.
Basically the issue is two-fold, my wife does not want to try any foods besides what she likes (Which is mostly unhealthy foods) where-as I like to try different things and prefer to eat healthier meals. For anyone that has a picky spouse....this doesn't really work very well to just "hold your ground", especially with a kid because you cannot make two separate meals each time you cook. Also it doesn't really actually benefit me to do so since I usually am the one cooking (I get home earlier so it makes sense, although sometimes I do get salty about it).
The problem is basically that she refuses to try new things, any indication of trying something healthy and it's "I don't want to eat that". Most people would say "Well let her make her own things"....that doesn't work out well when you have a kid to see. Also I receive the guilt trip "Well what am I supposed to eat then?" etc..., it doesn't help that she's pregnant currently (3 months, but this is NOT a pregnancy thing for what it's worth) so im stuck sort of doing everything anyways. The second part to that is it's making our kid a poor eater and picky (Which was my greatest fear).
So now the kid really only likes a few things (Sound familiar?) and that makes it an even bigger pain in the ass. She also complains about her weight (before the pregnancy) but the problem is she eats fast food EVERY single day for lunch. I feel like it's impossible for me to eat healthy now (Outside of Lunch and breakfast). The fast food thing leads into my next problem which is $$$$$$.
So the secondary problem is her eating fast food for lunch everyday is EXTREMELY expensive, she also wants to go out to a lot of restaurants as well. We aren't poor by any means but I try to keep a strict budget that she is constantly breaking (and not by a few bucks, were talking 3-4 hundred a month OVER). I've basically been forced to eat the cheapest shit imaginable every day for lunch to at least reduce the blowback. 7-8 bucks a day doesn't seem like a lot, but I constantly remind her that this is adding up to be multiple hundreds of dollars a month in just lunch. For anyone that wants to jump in and say im trying to control her im not, I think eating out is fine...but when it ends up impacting our budget (Our food budget is skyrocketed simply from this which just is not sustainable) then it becomes a matter of just budgeting. I haven't eaten out for lunch in I don't know how long, not to mention I have to put in the extra work to meal prep just so we don't spend any money.
Am I the asshole? If I sound salty it's because I am...but I really don't know what to do. I know "it's just food" but the money portion of it is more important to me than just missing out on trying meals, but honestly it really is a bummer to eat the same thing over and over when I want to try healthier eating. God forbid if I wanted to be a vegetarian or something. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
KTWgtXWN7zUU1FEooDLuJVhNTuBbuCnn | afbiu3 | {
"description": "asking my friend out",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For asking my friend out? | So this is something that's been nagging at me for a while.
I had recently gotten out of a relationship and going through the loops that does for a person. While out drinking, I sent a texts to my friend to see if she would go see an expensive play with me,
since the people I was out with were talking about it and I wanted to see it, and I was in a state where I could afford it.
She kindly refused stating that was way to much for her and she'd feel bad puting it on me, after a back and forth trying to convince her to just go with me, I drunkenly said that she should just give me a chance.
For some context, I've been friends with this person for the passed five+ years and about a year or two prior I asked her out but she rejected me, but after a brief period of not talking we managed to remain friends afterwards. I since got into the relationship I mentioned before. This whole exchange probably happened a month or two after I became single.
Afterwards she asked if I what I meant about what I was saying and I said it "should be pretty obvious" and that "I wasn't giving up". She immediately follows saying that "our friendship is over, because I am not interested in that".
We end the conversation there and the following day I wake up and write up an apology, stating I was selfish, and not thinking about our friendship and just rolling from my break up. I did state I would still like to test the possibility, but I understood if she didn't want that.
She responded saying she accepted the apology, but stated we can't just be friends if I was going to keep trying to change her mind on the matter. She stated that I had tried to convince her three times, with the first being the time I mentioned, the second I'm not being sure about but I believe it was a conversation we had a few days earlier about relationships and me asking why she didn't like me before (she stated she saw me as a friend and didn't want to ruin that). That conversation was never pointed in a at of asking her out however.
I asked to see her in person so could talk and clear things up, but she said she couldn't do that right now. So I tried to explain my thoughts on why I did what I did. We hadn't really been talking to each other for a while, then she popped back up in my life shortly after the break up so it was a pretty natural response to have the thought in my head. Additionally after the first time she rejected me we never really talked about it so there wasn't ever really a sense of closure, so I was hoping by talking we can close things up and move on from there.
She then states that she appreciates what I said, but doesn't really comment on what I had to say, only that asked for space once and that she wants the same and that if I can't have my closure she's sorry.
We stopped talking at that point, two weeks later I send her a text saying I had a birthday gift for her and that I'd like to be able to arrange something to get it to her, but she never responds.
A few weeks later, and about a month since the fight, I ask if I could get the gift to her somehow. She responded with this:
"when you asked me for space I gave it to you. Yet I don’t get the same respect from you. I asked for space and therefore it is up to me to decide when I have had enough space. So, no, I don’t really want the gift."
I just told her I'd leave it at that and we haven't talked since. It's been a few months now.
Regarding the request for space, when she first rejected me I asked for space for myself since being rejected isn't nice and I didn't really know what there was to be said at the time, asides from respecting she wasn't interested and doing what I could to get over it. When we did make some form of contact the matter was never really addressed and we just kind of continued being friends. I honestly don't remember how much time passed between the two points. I feel like the situation is very different in this case.
In hindsight I realize it probably looked like I was trying to ease my way into her life, but I actually ordered the gift before we even had the fight, but I feel like that is a really unfair assumption of me since anyone who knows me personally knows I'm not that type of person.
I do want to clarify that what I mentioned were the only exchanges I had with this person. I didn't pester them and the two week periods before messages were just that.
AITA for the way I handled this situation?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
pAtrvs7QskypWMP1lYVihhzGCvwUXvss | aqg745 | {
"description": "refusing to pay for a laptop I was accused of 'breaking'",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to pay for a laptop I was accused of 'breaking'? | Saw a similar trending post and reminded me of something that happened to me last year.
I go to a high school that requires students to bring their laptops so every student has one of them. One lunch break, my group was just chilling and out of no where my (now former) friend approached me and said she had something serious to say. She told me that I broke her laptop the day before and that she was wanting me to pay for it. The thing is I did not remember doing any sort of damage to her laptop, all I remember was accidentally nudging her laptop because she placed it next to me. But she claims that my elbow managed to not only crack the screen but also apparently messed up her whole operating system. She was pissed at me because she was wanting to buy a new laptop but now can't because her parents don't trust her with a new laptop. She demanded that I pay for repairs even though I was confident I didn't do shit to her laptop. I cried during math because I just hated the situation. During this time, I didn't have a part-time job yet so I asked my parents if they could pay for it. My parents asked me what happened, and I explained what happened and that I was confident I didn't break it. My parents trusted me and said that they will we did not have to pay for laptop. I messaged my friend what my parents said and that we refused to pay for repairs. The next day however, she acted like I never sent the text and reminded me that I had to pay and that she texted me her parent's bank account number. At this point I was just so over it and ignored her messages. AITA for not paying?
&#x200B;
TLDR; Friend accused me of breaking laptop even though I'm confident I didn't so I refused to pay when she demanded I did. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LHNKcPwlT1ffwvb98SR0gVgoDrhLpdc8 | 9zk64s | {
"description": "not stopping and helping someone whose car spun out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not stopping and helping someone whose car spun out? | Sorry for the long post, I just need to get this off my chest and know whether I'm an asshole or not.
I was bored one day after school and I didn't have a ride home. I could take the late bus but it didn't come for 2 hours, so I decided I'd walk the few miles home. Anyway, walking home requires that I walk on the side of a main road, where the speed limit is pretty high, so I walk on the gravel area on the outside of the shoulder, on the left side of the road (I wanted to be able to see oncoming traffic).
About 200-30 feet behind me, I hear skidding
and I turn around and see that someone went off the side of the road because they were following too close to someone and the person in front of them give them a brake check. So the front car (blue) stopped near the car whom they brake-checked (red). By that time I was walking toward them. A few seconds later I see a woman get out of the red car and start yelling at the woman inside the blue car, who was also yelling through her opened passenger door. Neither car was damaged, and it was obvious that no one was hurt by this point, and the women were arguing and pointing fingers at each other and shit like that. Neither of them saw me walking over there to help, so I figured I'd just continue walking home because I had to pee anyway, and I didn't know what I could do to help.
So what I'm asking here is: AITA for continuing on my way? Should I have helped them push their car back onto the road again? Bonus question: do you think I caused the skid-out by walking on the gravel? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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