id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
i5kZsLu2WdSztsgqqcjFogzMvqPrgln6 | abc29n | {
"description": "wanting to break up with my boyfriend for financially supporting him for 3 years",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend for financially supporting him for 3 years? | This is my first time writing ever on reddit but it's been bothering me for ages so I thought I'd ask here. Anyway, I am F24 and my SO is M23. We started dating in high school when I was 16, I knew he wasn't motivated by anything and I thought I would be okay with it (16 stupid and in love). I go to school, now working 2 jobs as a preschool teacher and tutor and he delivers pizza. I never minded his work and never looked down on him for delivering pizza. We've been in our line of work for 3 years. I have driving anxiety and don't have my license. So he picks me up and takes me to both jobs. I give him about $60 in gas a week and pay most of his car maintenance. Breaks, tires, battery, axle alignment, tickets, you name it. I felt it was right as he would drive me places, and I knew he couldn't pay for it on his own. I work 45-50 hours a week, he works 8-16. I've offered to help find him a better job because I know he has a great work ethic and a charming personality but he shrugs it off and says he's been trying. It's been months with only working a max of 16 hours a week. I thought at first he was depressed and lacked motivation so I took him on dates, learned to play his games, try his hobbies with him, even offered to move him in with me (I live alone) as he said that his family stressed him out. Mind you I knew he had no money and I supported us both anyway. He said no because his TV is too big for my room and he wouldn't have any place to play online as I don't have wifi at my house. (I work 12 hours a day and come home and sleep so I never needed it + I have hotspot). I'd pay for all his meals everyday for years and anything else he needed. Then I began to feel like I spoiled him too much and said I'd only pay for gas and maintenance to his car which was still hundreds of dollars. That led to arguments about how I don't appreciate him and his efforts and its my fault about the car and that he never asked me to buy his food and take him on dates. He also said I don't understand the struggle of looking for work as all my jobs and achievements were given to me based on my personality.
At this point we started arguing so much more and I fell out of love. That was months ago. I care about him deeply and don't know how my life would be without him. I talked to him about how felt and that I believe he has so much potential but feel like I'm enabling him. I admit there were certainly times that I was frustrated and have been condescending. If I left him his paycheck would be enough for his lifestyle. I feel like we're both wasting our time but he insists he couldn't love anyone else and I'm all he has ever known. I don't know if I should give him another chance even though I'm not in love but hope it comes back or just cut it and hope he finds his way on his own. He's been my best friend and my biggest supporter and felt like I owe it to him to stay until he gets on his feet. Would I be the asshole for breaking our 8 year relationship over him not wanting to find a better job or go to school? AITA for getting frustrated? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xNg11gLz5Ga22ht3mXVYJ2ILlJljwIwB | a1tes5 | {
"description": "feeling no remorse or sympathy towards a depressed and (maybe) suicidal girl who cheated on my best friend three times",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for feeling no remorse or sympathy towards a depressed and (maybe) suicidal girl who cheated on my best friend three times? | My best bud had been dating this girl for a little under a year. After the first time his gf cheated, he was devastated. He was crying a shit ton. She, who felt really bad, begged for him to give her another shot. He did and within a month she cheated again. This time he fully broke up with her. She felt super bad and begged again. He had more resilience this time, but was on the verge to giving in (they would be hooking up occasionally and still talking, but not officially back together). While she was still trying to win him back, she slept with another dude. Now, my best bud finally got some sense and cut her out completely and blocked her on everything. So what does she do? She comes to me, knowing I’m the best friend and I’m the only way she can get to him.
Now I gotta give a little background. Her family is kinda messed up. Her mom went through a divorce, started dating another guy, and after living with this new dude for a few years, cheated on her boyfriend and the boyfriend found out and kicked her and her daughter (my buddy’s ex) out. The mom didn’t have a job, so now her and her mother live in a crap apartment in a bad part of town and are struggling significantly. They don’t have a steady income, and now the ex works full time on top of college to help pay for living expenses.
Now back to when she texted me. She said how she’s depressed and has no motive to do anything at all, she can’t find reason to get out of bed in the morning, all that Jazz. Now I don’t know if she’s actually suicidal but her friends (some of her friends are people I’m friends with) say that she has been seeing someone for her mental health and are fairly confident she is suicidal. Upon knowing this information, and receiving a text from her to help her out, I respond back to her something along the lines of she deserves to be miserable, and if she doesn’t clean up her act soon she’s going to be in the exact same place as her mother because of what she does.
Typing it out now, I kinda feel like the asshole. But then I remember what she put my buddy through and how she literally had plenty of opportunities and ruined them all. AITA?
Sorry if this is poorly written, I did it kinda fast. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 13,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
l1JO6RJ02lkNjRfQsiNJpW3EaaVHheGO | b86jj8 | {
"description": "fighting over what food we buy at the supermarket because my mom converted to Muslim and saying everything has to be halaal now",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA: I fight over what food we buy at the supermarket because my mom converted to Muslim and says everything has to be halaal now. | Background:
I'm still very young 14. My brother and I are still Christian as it is what we grew up believing (I feel we have become atheists since we dont go to church and my father who is also Christian we only visit once every 2 weeks) since my mom met her boyfriend she has converted to Muslim for him (this does not bother me). My mom is also vegan. My mother also does not cook we have a helper who cooks for us ( not Muslim)
Main:
I fight with my mother over what we buy when we go shopping. We cant buy bacon anymore even though it will only be for me and my brother (she is not hardcore Islamic we still eat pork when we are at restaurants with her). We dont buy normal meat at the shop anymore we have to drive to a Muslim butcher and buy meat there (dont really care ) . This has become a problem as when I visited my father the food my stepmom cooks taste different. I think it's the difference of the meat as most of what she uses like pork and mixed sausages (my favorite) are not halaal. When I told my mother why cant we just buy meat at the normal shop just for me and my brother she says the halaal meat won't taste different but she doesn't even know as she has been vegan for 3 years now. It also irritates the living hell out of me whenever I ask for something and her first response is 'is it halaal', I understand it may not be halaal but it would just be for me or my brother. She says her boyfriend might find it rude but she never even asked him and I dont see why her new believe requires me to give up bacon.
Example:
2 weeks ago I asked if we can get frozen pizza it's not halaal I told her she then she says no. I asked her why not it would just be for me and my brother she says no louder and gives me a glance (the glance said a lot) I felt like if I asked her agian I would get my ass whooped in front of all the other shoppers.
I'm I an asshole for thinking this way? Or should I just learn to live with this?
It won't kill me if I have to give up eating pork but it won't kill her either to allow me and my brother to still enjoy it
I love my mother and respect her choice I just need to know if I'm an asshole for feeling like I'm entitled to get what I want
(My first post)
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 14
} | RIGHT |
WqSDCj7ZL037zXH3UsaxbJSFzspnxtJa | ae9px9 | {
"description": "putting my two year old son up for adoption",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 298
} | WIBTA for putting my two year old son up for adoption? | TLDR at the bottom
So on the spring of 2016 I found out that my college girlfriend got pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion but as a christian I felt that this was against my beliefs (btw I’m not pro-life, I feel like the option to abort should be there for people that don’t believe what I do but this is what I thought was right for my child). I was graduating that year and already had a pretty well-paying job lined up so I felt that I could provide for my kid. In the end me and my girlfriend came to the agreement that the baby be born but that I would be a single parent since she did not want to have a baby this young. That fall the baby was born and after that she moved back to her home state (she went out of state for college) and I got my son. At the time me and my girlfriend were 21.
Fast forward two years and I just feel so tired and secluded from the world. My only friend is my son, between work and him I have no free time. All I do on my free time is go to the park with him, watch kids shows etc. My mom live kinda far away but she visits every few months and lets me have some alone time but it’s not enough. Also I basically have the same job I had when I graduated college with a slight salary increase, I have not been able to take any initiatives at work to qualify me for a promotion due to my parent responsibilities and a lot of people that started after me outrank me now. And I can’t date, like who wants a 23 year old guy with a kid.
I just feel unfulfilled and alone and it has started to take it’s form in a little bit of animosity against my son and I never want that to happen. I want to be a great dad that loves his kid but I don’t think I can be that, I’ve tried for two years. You always hear about this undying love you’ll have for your kid but I just never had that.
So WIBTA for putting my son up for adoption? I would have to make sure he actually get’s adopted into a stable family like I grew up in and not into a foster home (don’t know how I would go about that though). The thing that makes me think that I am an asshole is that he has started to form an attachment to me and that it would be unfair on him to leave him and unfair on his grandmother that also has a good connection with him. But what makes me think I’m not an asshole is that I think that his childhood would just get worse the more lonely and unfulfilled I feel and that he’s better off with a more stable family. Please give me your perspective.
TLDR: I am a single dad that feels like he’s personal life is interfering with his ability to be a father, WIBTA to put up my two year old for adoption? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 293,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 298
} | WRONG |
MmYJ1QsjwIwrPYPh1pgdH3Qtu2hJvX4a | au842d | {
"description": "refusing to guess a women's age while in a professional work environment",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to guess a women's age while in a professional work environment? | I work in a photo lab (USA) so it isn't out of the ordinary for people to ask my opinion about looks and such. We also take passport pictures for all countries, except Canada. 👈 Not my call.
A women with her highschool aged grandson came in to get a passport for her, they were having an agrument about how young/old she looked.
As I come out to take the picture he asks "How old do you think she is?"
I am taken off guard and go into professional mode which was "Sir, that is very inappropriate."
I meant for it to sound like I was uncomfortable answering the question but I don't do well with social ques so I think it sounded more like I was disgusted with his question.
They paused and looked at eachother, the other people standing around stopped talking and looked at me. I didn't think I said it that loud but I felt like I could hear a pin drop for a whole minute, it was just seconds but damn was it awkward.
After that moment though we were fine, had good conversation and they were happy with the picture.
A bit more context is that they were African American and if you don't know the phrase 'Black don't crack' then Google it.
Thank you for your time in advance. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
D0b9JT1IQ7riSLqOD4HprvqL0qiDSPVx | aklexq | {
"description": "being upset with my boyfriend for being busy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset with my boyfriend for being busy? | I've never considered myself high maintenance, but I may have to change that. Today, I had plans with my boyfriend to get lunch and go swimming. I didn't plan on going with him in the first place, but when I mentioned it last night, he wanted to go too. Well, today, he laid in bed until he had work at 3pm.
I spent the night at his place and at noon, I told him I was leaving for lunch soon if he still wanted to come. 30 min later, he hadn't moved and I was leaving. He told me to text him when I was ready to go swimming because he still wanted to do that. Well, I finished lunch and texted him that I was ready to go at around one. After getting no response, I told him I was leaving and he could meet me there.
Halfway there, I got a call from him saying that he was gonna stay home because he was worried about being late for work in two hours. (Context: from his house to the pool is about a 15-20 minute walk and he works 5 min away from his house). So I went by myself.
He asked if we could get dinner after he got off of work, but then at 7, informed me that he had to go to a meeting and asked me if I could wait. I told him I was hungry so if he wanted me to wait, he had to text me with a DEFINITE ending time for the meeting. (Our dining hall stops letting people in at 8:40pm.) At 8 I went to dinner by myself. No text or anything at all until he called me at 9:30 saying he was getting food from my favorite restaurant and offered to bring me some even though I already ate.
Obviously, I accepted, figuring this was his way of apologizing, so I met him at his place and we ate at 10. Well, he talked to me for a few minutes and then went to go play overwatch with his friends. He asked if it was ok first since I usually play with him too, but I didn't have my laptop. Of course I said it was ok, but he played for 2 and a half hours. He is a loud talker, but when he has headphones in he fucking yells so loud. At one point I managed to fall asleep despite the noise and he literally woke me up, said nothing, and went straight back to playing his game.
Eventually I told him I was gonna leave because we have class tomorrow, but he made me wait for his match to finish. Then took the longest goodbye. It wasn't sweet long, it was just him staring at me and standing in front of me so I couldn't leave.
I wouldn't be upset if he'd just said he was busy or at the very least stopped making plans that he would inevitably cancel last minute. I'm getting more and more frustrated and I've mentioned it and he'll apologize, but nothing will change.
TL;DR My boyfriend blew me off all day for some reasonable and some unreasonable things and I wanna know if I should be upset. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
b6pDkXqGmyjIXguCf6ssroCH7CVaALHP | b49pg1 | {
"description": "keeping music my ex made on my playlist",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for keeping music my ex made on my playlist? | So, I dated a guy for a while and he happened to be a musician. While we were together, he made roughly 25 songs, all of which are on my iPod.
Fast forward about a year, and I was showing one of my playlist to someone I've been seeing for \~2 months, non exclusively. One of my ex's songs came up and she thought it was a really good song, so she asked me who it was by. I told her the name, and thought that was that. A few days later, she texted me asking why I still listened to my ex's band and why I didn't tell her it was his band. Apparently she looked the band up so she could download their music herself, and saw his photos with the band and put two and two together (I don't delete photos off of my instagram, even after relationships have ended, so I assume that's how she knows what he looks like). Anyway, I told her I didn't think it was a big deal, and she said that it was obvious I wasn't over him and that maybe it was best we don't see each other anymore unless I'm willing to delete the songs. I told her that I really like his music and I don't see the need to clear out songs that I enjoy, no matter who they were written/performed by.
Is this weird? My ex and I are still friendly, but we rarely talk, and it's been a year since we broke up. I'm over him, and that I didn't think anything of keeping his music on my iPod, since I genuinely enjoy his music (& I'm friends with everyone in his band anyway, and I like to support my friends). I did delete two songs right after we broke up, because they were about me and our relationship, but I didn't see a necessity to delete the ones that had nothing to do with me. Anyway, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2r02QfBecEAtLzeKiqjvYljVmRR9Br47 | b31v1s | {
"description": "suggesting my mother return her cat",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For suggesting my mother return her cat? | I (21F) live with my parents (51M and 48F) and recently we have acquired another cat.
We had one cat originally, his name is Titan and he is 10 years old. He is basically my cat as he sleeps with me/ spends all his time with me.
Onto the cat in question, my mother visted a shelter one day and absolutely fell in love with this giant ragdoll. The shelter had only had her for 5 days so they didnt know anything about her behavior or disposition. For reasons that will later become obvious her current name is Lucifur she has been here for 2 weeks so far I think.
When Mom brought her home she immediately let her out of the cage to just roam.
This cat is beautiful and completely friendly to all people, not my cat. She hates him with a firey passion. Every time he enters the room she either pounces on him or starts this loud whining that lasts minutes. When she sees him, no one can touch her anymore or she hisses at you. My mother is still in love with this cat.
I get it, shes really friendly and cute. If she wasnt trying to hurt my tiny old cat I would have no issues with her being here. But that is not the case.
She has bitten me because I picked her up while she was trying to get to Titan. Its an incredibly deep bite that required intense antibiotics and a tetanus shot. Thankfully shed had her rabies shot prior.
Today I took Titan to the vet to check up on some medication hes taking for allergies. He has lost almost a lb since his last visit and become dehydrated because he is terrified to leave my room. I have to feed him in my room or hell starve, even then he hardly eats because hes staring at the door like hes worried shes going to burst in and attack him.
Here is the AITA part. I was incredibly upset by the fact Titans health has begun to suffer because of her so I texted the family Via group chat and said
"Titan has lost more weight and is dehydrated because hes too scared to move around the house.
Either introduce them properly by locking her into a room and using the method or we return her to the shelter "
My mother got really defensive saying its not her fault and that she wanted the cat in her room but no one ever put her in there.
This would be fine except she adopted Luci and then left at 6 am the next day for 4 days for work. My father didnt even want another animal so he would not have been ok keeping the cat in his room if my mom wasnt there. So we did nothing.
I think we should return her because no one seems to even try to introduce them correctly. I got bit because my mother decided to feed them together and I tried to save my cat from being beaten.
TL;DR My mom brought a new cat into the house and it is terrorizing my cat. He has lost weight and become dehydrated because of this so I told her to either train her properly or return her to the shelter.
AITA because I told her we should return the cat? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wIW8FCf6RTrUDhR9SQLQj3FMXxYlRUkC | at6kx6 | {
"description": "being upset with my best friend for getting married without telling me",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset with my best friend for getting married without telling me? | I apologize in advance if this is choppy, I just found out and I'm still reeling and I guess venting a little bit here.
​
My best friend, who we'll call Hannah, and I have been friends for almost 10 years. We're both women and are in our mid-twenties. I've been on family vacations, her parents call me their second daughter and I call her parents 'mama' and 'papa'. We've both agreed that we're each others person and best friend, and until today I didn't think anything had changed.
I am in the process of getting my estate put together and wanted to make her a beneficiary, so I opened messenger to ask for the best address for her (she's an officer in a military branch so she's not really permanently affixed anywhere) and I saw an unread message from her telling me she didn't tell anyone but that she got legally married over a month ago and they're just waiting for the right time to have a big party. I don't go on messenger often, and when she's on a ship she doesn't get cell service. I rarely use messenger but try to check it every couple of days in case she's messeged me.
I'm so hurt by this. I'm trying to remind myself that this isn't about me and that I should be happy for her, but I'm not. She and her now legal partner (they don't identify with a gender) have been together for just over a year, they got married after dating for 14 months. Hannah has been known to become head over heels for everyone she's dated, and there have been at least three other serious relationships where she was convinced they were the one and were going to get married, etc. I don't understand the rush, but I would have supported her if she had told me what she was going to do and she knows that (I knew she was going to propose and helped her engineer it).
We're both very busy people (I own two businesses) and have the kind of friendship where we might not necessarily talk for weeks at a time but when we do it's like no time has passed. I don't tell her every minute detail of my life, but I couldn't imagine getting married and not telling her. It's making me question our friendship and I'm not sure if I should include her in my will (which I think is just an overreaction but it's how I feel right now in this moment).
AITA for being upset about this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LK6eblLRyy0gYFoGoOXkXKLniUo02bL1 | al1iag | {
"description": "being frustrated that my wife is angry about the sex of our baby",
"pronormative_score": 509,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for being frustrated that my wife is angry about the sex of our baby? | My (24m) wife (24f) is 24 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. She made it very clear from even before she was pregnant that she really wanted a daughter, and she made the odd joke about "sending it back" if it was a boy. The jokes all seemed lighthearted and I just thought if she got pregnant and it was a boy she'd change her mind. Fast forward to our 20 week scan. We go in super excited and nervous. I don't mind about the gender, my wife is crying with excitement as she had a feeling it was a girl.
We go in and find out we are having a boy. My wife immediately bursts into tears and I hold her hand, knowing immediately that she was disappointed and putting it down to the pregnancy hormones. She doesn't stop crying the whole day. I let her calm down and try to comfort her.
It's been nearly four weeks now and she still cries when someone mentions the baby. She refuses to do anything to do with the nursery and won't discuss anything pregnancy related. Family are starting to think it's weird, but she said she doesn't want people to judge her for how she feels.
Now that it's been nearly a month I'm starting to get a bit frustrated. It's just such an overreaction. I told her she needs to come to terms with this because the gender isn't going to change. She cried and called me an asshole. I told her she needs to get a grip. I felt awful but I feel like nearly a month of this is ridiculous.
My wife and I made up but she's still acting the same and I'm getting upset again.
AITA for being upset about this? I love the baby beyond words and am just upset she doesn't seem to anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 366,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 143,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 509,
"WRONG": 19
} | RIGHT |
5kpUmghxf2uhg91ehzDOcsl9WD3fD9jN | a1nbc5 | {
"description": "leaving my friend when she was dealing with depression",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving my friend when she was dealing with depression? | My friend and I have known each other for about a year now, but we stopped talking a couple months ago. She's been suffering from depression and social anxiety for a while before I knew her. Whenever shit hit the fan, for whatever reason, I was her go-to guy when she needed to vent or needed help even though she had closer friends. I have no idea why she did this, but I didn't hate it. I was happy to help.
​
Most of the time she'd be perfectly fine. Maybe 2-3 times a month she'd have a breakdown and every day besides those, she'd be fine. But it only got more and more frequent. Around 2 months into our friendship, her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her, which would obviously hurt her for a while. From that point on, even when she was in a good mood, I could tell she just wasn't the same. The times she needed my help became very frequent, which is to be expected. She needed someone to cope with.
​
A couple months after that, her now ex-boyfriend said he started dating someone else. This made her even worse because to her (and I assume many other people), finding a new date a couple months after a 3-year relationship is pretty fast. I still helped her when she needed it, but I didn't think I was doing anything special. Like, it may have helped, but any other one of her friends could say the stuff I was saying to her. Just imagine your most cliche therapist lines. This will be important later.
​
So a couple more months after this, she wouldn't be as hurt as she was before, but her mental disorders were clearly worse than they were when we first met. We would rarely do the stuff we used to do every day for fun. When I would try to talk to her normally, she didn't really seem into it, so most of our talking came from her breakdowns now. Plus, all together, we talked way less then we did even a month from this point. From what I saw, it seemed like she wanted help rather than just someone to vent to; however, most men seem to want to help rather than just listen, so I'm not so sure on that. I felt like I couldn't help much because I didn't know much of her situation between her and her ex.
​
So I asked her one day if she could tell me the story between him and her. I told her she didn't have to tell me right away, whenever she felt ready. She'd been ignoring more for about a week (most of the time she'd at least talk to me and be unenthusiastic about it), but she didn't reply at all to that message. I expected her to at least reply with something like "I can't right now but when I'm in the mood." or maybe "I really don't feel comfortable talking about that". Her not replying to that, a couple other messages before that, and just talking to me less and less, in general, made me think she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Like I said before, I felt like any of her other friends could do what I did so I didn't think she needed me. I'm now getting 3rd party information that this wasn't her intent, but she's not all that worse without me.
​
The main reason I chose to stop talking to her is that we completely stopped doing the stuff we were doing originally, the stuff I became friends with her for. Every time I tried to give her advice she wouldn't seem to take it, and she'd fall back to me again and it turned into an endless loop. And since I thought anyone else could do the generic therapist gig I was doing, I felt like it wasn't worth it for me.
​
So AITA for leaving in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
q7Xx2PalpHwNYFiLyAJ8UpxtOsTgJ4yZ | b2vp5m | {
"description": "being angry because my sister keeps bringing up stuff I did as a child",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA: I’m angry because my sister keeps bringing up stuff I did as a child. | My sister and I have always been very close. She’s six years younger. As a child, I was introverted and had difficulty making friends, although I did have a few friends/cousins around. My sister, an extrovert, had friends also but she kind of looked up to us and would rather spend time with the older kids. This means she would always be around when we played (inside or outside), went on bicycle rides (we had to take turns carrying her around on the back seat, or just hung around. And we had to include her every time because she was my little sister.
I guess this made me a little mean. We would make her the butt of jokes, make her run around to fetch the shuttle when we played badminton, make fun of or belittle her in front of anyone, and make her run to the corner store for snacks because I was too lazy. That is, I made her work for the “privilege” of spending time with us.
On the flip side of it, we were latchkey kids with my mum always working and dad always overseas for work. I had to take care of her, made sure she ate, entertained her while we were by ourselves, made sure she did her homework, shielded her from any family/parental problems, and taught her how to keep the parents in a good mood. I would not be lying when I say I played a part in raising her. Even as we grew older and I started working, I would support her emotionally and even financially.
I’m in my thirties now, and we’re still very close. A few days ago, out of the blue, my sister says she still hates me, and I quote, for “bullying” her when we were kids. She has brought this up before, and I had apologized profusely for my behavior when we were younger. She had accepted my apology then. But she brought it up again this time. I apologized again and told her that I was a child myself with psychological issues that flared strong later. But she said she had been hurt for the longest time. I had made her feel like an outsider, took advantage, and manipulated her because she was younger. She was not going to forget or forgive.
This broke my heart. I understand that stuff that occurs during childhood stays with you for the longest time. I know that I had hurt her and that had a profound effect on her childhood.
However. Somehow my guilt has turned to anger. I feel as if everything else I did as a sister is forgotten because of this one aspect of our relationship. I don’t deny her feelings, but I’m just so angry and pissed off that she would choose to hold on to this.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
UtrAFslH4Iu6f1LsV1X3tp2izVbXYhjn | atz2m7 | {
"description": "being annoyed at my step-brother for using my last straw",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being annoyed at my step-brother for using my last straw? | Okay first off, this is a throw away. Second of all, I know this sounds childish as hell but hear me out.
I recently had a major jaw surgery which has lead to me having my mouth wired shut so everything heals correctly, and I can't open my mouth at all. The day I was discharged, the nurse gave me a pack of straws that are just like normal straws, but have a very narrow bit at the end which slots through the tiny gap behind my wisdom teeth so I can slurp up my soups and smoothies and stuff.
So today I woke up around 5pm after finally getting some sleep with the help of some painkillers, grabbed some soup and went to take a straw and it was gone. The last straw in the pack was gone and I instantly start worrying because there's literally nothing else I can use to eat until my next appointment. I asked around the house and my step-brother says it was him and that he didn't think I would mind.
I tried asking him what the fuck was he thinking, I was only given enough straws to last until my next appointment and he just starts laughing, mocking the way I talk because I can't open my mouth, all I can do is move my lips, my teeth stay clamped shut. My dad hears all of this and comes in, tells me I'm overreacting, that my appointment is on 2 days and my step-brother doesn't know any better. He's literally 2 years older than me and acts like a 6 year old, it's so frustrating.
Just some things I want to add, the packet that the straws were in were clearly labelled with mine and the hospitals name, and they clearly don't look like normal straws. My step-mum tried using a syringe, soup went everywhere.
I will say that the shitty liquid diet, lack of sleep and the terrible discomfort of this whole experience may have added to my frustration, but this incident honestly frustrated me so much that all I wanted to do was cry. I can't even stop by the dental hospital because it's not open on the weekends.
I've been thinking about it for a while now and I feel a little guilty and embarrassed about making a big fuss about a straw, but at the same time I don't care because without it, I can't eat. I'm torn.
Am I an overreacting asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
W7PXsqCbXy2PVwmxYBFmBrnR9etDOXIO | aozzb6 | {
"description": "not traveling with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not traveling with my mom? | My brother moved to London from Los Angeles last year. Neither my mom nor I have visited him yet. I live a mile away from my mom and see her often. The problem is, I don't travel well with my mom. She is an extrovert and loves to hear herself talk. I am an introvert who craves silence. We flew to Denver for a family reunion weekend a few months ago. She talked during the whole 3-hour flight, there and back. I was mentally exhausted after the weekend. Now she wants to tag along on a 10-hour flight and week long trip to London. I told her no and she got very upset, saying she couldn't fly alone, it's too difficult when you're older (she's 72), she gets stopped at security because of her knee replacement, etc. AITA for trying to have a relaxing vacation by excluding her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
5hE7KqzUvFfygiu5xGlB0CU1ObCZhOpp | aslmhv | {
"description": "being annoyed that my gym has a \"women only afternoon\"",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being annoyed that my gym has a "women only afternoon" | As the title says. Once a week, they have a "women only" afternoon and I think this is pretty exclusionary.
I pay membership so I feel I should be able to use the gym whenever I want and this particular afternoon is the most convenient for me.
Do any of the gyms you go to have this practice? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
WUmKy7TavWlKvQVux1DcKZCsqibjhH2j | 9yr075 | null | AITA, ignored a stranger after he swore at me. | So a bit of background first.
I had after-school classes was on my way back. It was already late and I had to study for a test the following day. I reach home and ready to start cracking, and I realise I left my book at school.
Now the actual issue.
I live pretty close so I quickly cycled as fast I could to get it. On my way, there a guy blocking about half of the path, I thought I could squeeze past comfortably. Instead I skimmed the guy very lightly, and I mean very very lightly. The guy in question became very angry very fast. He proceeded to swear at me, which prompted me to continue cycling. I had said sorry to him but he shouted at the top of his voice so I continued and didn't bother to explain my situation while he swore at me in the background.
Am I the asshole here?
Sorry for formatting. On mobile so yeah.
Tldr; in a hurry, skim a guy lightly, he gets very angry and swears at me which prompted me to not respond and continue. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ytgd1YE54JdAOHkRtAy38KSO9JFh6vR6 | a9lo0r | null | AITA ?Fiance upset that her friend cannot join us for my birthday/NYE | Ok so I made a throw away account for this. I dont really want this getting back to her.
My birthday falls on NYE and for the last 4 years my best friend and his fiance join myself and my fiance in going away.
We have a family friend who has a house by the water front and she let's us use it while away. This has been a tradition that we all love and cherish. We go their thr 30th and wake up on NYE and all make breakfast together, go out for the day doing various activities and finally my best bud makes a NYE/birthday dinner for us.
This year, my fiance had her best friend who decided to come stay with us for a few weeks. Her friend is from over seas and was suppose to be going home the 29th. She decided to extend her stay until jan 3rd. Her friend doesn't speak much english so my fiance and her always speak in their native language. I'm usually left out of conversations and have felt very much like just their taxi since being here.
Here friend is very nice and respectable in our house and I've enjoyed her being here for the most part.
The big issue arose when I was told she will be here for the 31st and asked if her friend could attend our tradition. I have a big issue with this because I think it will put a strain on our time with friends because she will be around her best friend and most likely ignore my best friends fiance. She has done these things in the past. My best friend also has an issue with her coming because he too can foresee some of the issues of her joining us.
The question I have is AITA for saying her friend cannot join us ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
UGERKE19wimwNzm7u0sytLXsGvHfnhV1 | avuqj2 | {
"description": "being upset with my (ex)?gf for contacting/befriending her ex",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset with my (ex)?gf for contacting/befriending her ex | Hello, I will try my best to be as objective as possible with this, but of course this is coming from my pov, which is where this community could help me. First, I will try to give some backstory to fill in some information. I(26m) have been dating my (20f) girlfriend for around 4 months now, but we have known each other for just under a year. We have had our fair share of complications in these past 4 months, mainly dealing with trauma from both of our pasts but we we're always able to come to a conclusion and move forward. This bonding and the progress we made through conquering our own demons has brought us very close and I would like to clarify that I am not worried about her leaving me for the ex in question. This person is someone who emotionally and probably physically abused my gf (I was told that it came very close to being physical but I have not heard all of the details so this part is unclear. Was also told he would beat his mother...). My gf's mother told me in private that their family was very worried about my gf's safety and they thought they were going to lose her to this person. The entire family seems to feel the same way towards this ex.
This Monday my gf and some friends went on a vacation and on the first night got quite drunk/high. The whole night we were texting/calling. All of our conversations were very lovey dovey (lol) and very light hearted. On Tuesday she told me that she texted her ex because she wanted to check in on him, which I told her that I didn't think that this was a good idea because 1) why feel the need to text and ex and 2) a person who has caused so much harm to herself and her family. After some back and forth she told me she would tell him they can't talk anymore and "fix things." Last night we talked on the phone and she told me they were texting all day and she told him they can't talk but he said no and that she can't just end things with someone who was such a large part of her life. I basically said that this is driving a wedge in our relationship and will cause things to fall a part, which she agreed. Not much else was said except that we would discuss things further tonight but it seems like things have come to an end.
After speaking with some women in my life the census seems to be that I have not done anything wrong but I want your outside opinions. I feel, for lack of better words, that these decisions she is making are plain stupid and causing unnecessary collateral damage. Am I not being understanding of her past trauma? Am I not being rational and instead acting as a jealous bf? Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jg2AjcX1UiHxR6qv7Y8Xvufe95udtLEX | 9wwgji | {
"description": "arguing with my already-upset wife about our daughter's interests",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for arguing with my already-upset wife about our daughter’s interests? | My wife has very evidently had a bad day, and she doesn’t hide it well. Our daughter (8) watches a few TV shows (Spirit and Pokémon, mostly), and is so in love with both of the shows that she talks about them regukarly. (Before anyone gets upset, she also reads a ton, TON of books (she’s recently gotten into Harry Potter) and plays outside with her cousins every day. We regulate her screen time.)
Anyway, my wife today claims that whenever our daughter speaks, she’s talking about her shows, and it’s driving my wife absolutely bonkers. Yesterday, my daughter started talking about Spirit, and my wife interrupted her to say, “Stop, can you PLEASE talk about something else? Every time you open your mouth lately you’re just talking about one of your shows.” It made me very upset with my wife to stifle our daughter this way, but my daughter shrugged it off and went about her merry business.
Fast forward to about half an hour ago when my wife and I were talking about why she’s felt so irritable lately. She expressed some recent motherly frustrations, relatively common stuff, then mentioned the TV stuff again (how our daughter never talks about anything other than her shows). I reminded her how rude she’d been the night before, and how she’s actively showing disinterest in our daughter’s interests. My thought it, yeah, they’re dumb TV shows, but so what? She’s a kid, and that’s what she’s into right now.
My wife said she doesn’t care about Pokémon, she doesn’t know them, she doesn’t get it, etc. I told her that’s not the point, that she *could* care by asking our daughter about it, etc, and my wife replied with, “You just don’t get it, never mind, ugh.” I (as I often do) didn’t drop it right away and reminded my wife that she doesn’t get to choose what our daughter remembers from her childhood. At that, my wife pulled a deep sigh (restraining herself from fighting), got up, muttered, “Fuck you,” under her breath, and went upstairs (slamming the office door when she got there).
I can tell my wife had a bad day today, so I probably shouldn’t have pushed. That said, it’s also not okay with me that she actively expresses disinterest in the things our daughter is interested in. AITA for this exchange? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
kXqqXBt2uaZicXOl0p0b1ttsuvsjp3OK | akscc5 | {
"description": "ruining cheating ex's chances with other guys",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 33
} | AITA for ruining cheating ex's chances with other guys? | Longtime lurker here, never posted tho! So yeah, I met this girl Sarah close to 2 years ago now, at the end of my last semester at uni and we really hit it off. We started dating after casually going out for a bit, and we ended up dating all the way up until early November 2018, when I found out that she had some sort of FWB type bullshit with a guy we knew at uni, and I broke it off, cold turkey and basically told her to go fuck herself. It still hurts like shit, since this was a fairly long term thing, age considered, and she didn't seem that guilty to me.
We do however have mutual friends so we see each other sometimes, and I kept her on my social media stuff, which is how I found out she was flirting with some new guy, Tommy. Tommy's actually a nice enough dude, and since I can't say I trust Sarah one bit, I messaged him telling him about the cheating and all the bullshit she did. He didn't believe me, but we met last month at a party, in which I pulled him aside, and told him all about her, and by the end of it, he seemed pretty turned off on her, and he cut it off a few days later.
Despite this, and the fact that things seemed somewhat serious between Tommy and Sarah, she had a new guy just last weekend, at another party. This guy was pretty decent, and when I caught Sarah looking my way with a shitty expression, I just lost it, and told this new guy all about her. They got into an argument, him saying something about diseases and storming off. The room was divided, some were on my side, some were obviously pissed at me and Sarah was FURIOUS.
She basically went on a huge rant about how I'm a jealous asshole who can't let things go, and all this shit about me being controlling and possessive, so I just kind of left in the middle of her lecture. She's DM'd me on a bunch of apps, basically berating me/asking me why I did that, to which I've not really responded outside of a "K", or a thumbs up. A couple of her friends have said similar shit, and called me sexist and all that bullshit.
So, is she right? Am I a possessive asshole, or was I in the right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 13,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 33
} | WRONG |
ZSTqQOAhXW8GKz5M1QXbsruk7wAH7BLH | a87sp6 | {
"description": "not wanting governments to support curing of diseases such as SMA",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting governments to support curing of diseases such as SMA ? | Neurodegenerative diseases are nearly impossible to cure,especially if patient and their relatives are economically in medium or lower class.
For example,one dose of SPINRAZA-medicine for SMA patients- contains literally 7-8 drop of cure,and it costs estimatedly 140.000$.
I live in Turkey and for me it means a drop of this costs 100.000 lira.There are 3000 patients estimated in Turkey and if I collected right information,a patient needs 4-5 dose and after that only 3 times a year for all his/her life.
Completing the estimated math and adding it to 3000 people,because all patients deserve curing,it estimatedly adds up to 20 BILLION liras without remainders.
Turkey spent 25 billion-again,without remainders- to medicine.ALL the medicine in whole country.
This is just basic numbers for JUST treating SMA patients.I didn’t even calculate their respiratory and alike machines,accomodation,application of medicine and such.
In my defense it might be more or less expensive,but it won’t go up or down for 10 billion or something.
These kind of disease can be spotted in amniosynthesis(or amniocentesis) or different scans of genome.I know it can harm,even kill the baby,and i know i can’t understand what that means but if you spend not even 20 billion on uprading tech for genome scanning it definetely WOULD make difference.
I am not a cruel person.I always thought abortion saves both parents and children.I spent 2 years with joy and sadness with cerebral palsy patients and I befriended a lot.I lost 2 friends in this 2 year and i know what they live and how they live.I even had a friend that said “I wish I was aborted.My mom and dad had genetic predispositions and they never thought about it.” He died 3 years ago.
In conclusion,by spending on research and development and planning parenthood i believe there would be much difference.Therefore,i dont want their curing.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
PfpaHvbiNSV1oR64O7OjI8OQ6S3iOaH2 | apyw61 | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend's parents to help me pay some damages that I caused to her car",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA For asking my(20m) girlfriend's(20f) parents to help me pay some damages that I caused to her car? | Hi there, first time poster so excuse any format issues.
Recently I was involved in a minor car crash where the car skidded onto a curb and caused some cosmetic damage. There is a very tiny dent in the door.
The total of the damage cost come to around 700. (Dam panel beaters are expensive)
Now throughout our relationship my girlfriend suffered through depression and I would carry the weight of that on my shoulders both financially and mentally. During our relationship there was a period where she got really unhealthy, this caused many fights between us, as she would lie about going to work. Eventually she lost her job and I would have to cover her rent and living expenses for 2-3 months.
And now that this has happened they want me to pay 700 in damages to the car. Which I am in no position to do that anytime soon.
Also her parents are quite well off.
AITA? What can I do?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
1ZtZlTxVrEHSxAt2t9JUqap6X1dl38OD | aepb93 | {
"description": "leaving behind my mentally ill mother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving behind my mentally Ill mother? | So a bit of background, I am one of four daughters and I hold position #3. I'm just gonna name my sisters by their order (#1, #2 & #4)
When we were little, our parents got divorced which then sort of triggered my mothers mental illness of bipolar due to her unresolved childhood trauma. This got her to pull away from me and my sisters so we had to learn to take care of ourselves. We were aged between 12- 4. #1 &#2 did most of the washing and dishes and stuff were as I took care of food and taking care of #4. Out mother did still cook and clean and take care of us but I dont believe as much as she needed to.
Eventually she started getting aggressive towards #1 and would slap her across the face when she was very angry at us all. If one of us was in the wrong she would yell at us whilst we were cornered in our room (the four of us switched and shared 2 bedrooms).
Fast forward a couple years #1 gets pregnant at 18. At this point we have been forced to move houses a lot and we were all in high levels of stress. In a fit of rage my mother ended up kicking #1 out of home. My mother kept telling us that it was #1s choice to leave.
Things escalated from there and #1 and her daughter no longer speak to our mother dude to fear. #2 is angry at #1 and says that she has abandoned us. #2 & #4 currently have no contact with #1
By this time I was 15 and I had grown to be a tall a physically strong female. This is when my mother started taking out her anger on me instead.
Fast forward again, I am 18 and my mother would hit me on a weekly basis. I've had to step between her and #4 many times. She would insult me and my sisters constantly and when we got upset she told us we were over reacting. I would not be allowed to go out and see my friends as much as I liked or go and relax in my bedroom and my mother would get upset saying that "we are just like #1 and will abandon her"
October 2018, she didnt speak to me for two days because I went to a friends for three days because I was exhausted. Then I decided that I couldnt handle this anymore and said to her that I want to move out soon.
She started yelling at me saying she hates me and that I am a horrible child who wants her to kill herself and that she want me out of the house that night. Accompanied by lots of other not so great things.
So I leave that night with a couple bags of my clothes and I'm now staying with a friend.
I know my mother is sick and she doesnt mean what she says sometimes and I have now left her with #2 and #4. She wont hurt them because they are small but am I the asshole for leaving my mother when she is sick? And leaving my sisters to deal with my mother? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
zJHQodBa5YiZsLoXVc91OeSHOR9hfA41 | aps56f | {
"description": "being upset with my friends with how they treated my suicide attempt",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset with my friends with how they treated my suicide attempt? | Okay, so a little backstory. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and over the last year or so it's gotten considerably worse. About three months ago everything became too much and I took an overdose. One of my roommates found me and I was really out of it but still conscious - I had thrown up quite a bit. They called an ambulance, and we waited.
I don't remember much but I recently found out that they rang some people for advice & they were told i was being inconsiderate as one of them had an assignment due tomorrow and they were still working on it. She told me that while waiting for the ambulance I was complaining about being in pain while she tried to work on the project & it bothered her.
What really bothers me is that when the ambulance came, neither of my roommates came to the hospital with me so I was left alone on a hospital gurney for hours with no one.
At the time I didn't think about it much, but i'm feeling really low again at the moment and my anxiety keeps bringing my mind back to this and I just kinda feel like shit about it all. I know i shouldn't expect them to drop everything for me & it's not about that. I just feel really hurt and like i was (and am) nothing but an inconvenience. This isn't a pity party attempt - i want an honest opinion to try and figure out of I have a right to be upset or if it's my anxiety/depression making me feel like this. thanks.
So, Am I the Asshole for being pissed and upset at them? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ygZNl9H0OekWpUQaIBn1j8b1Y3829kgp | ay5wmc | {
"description": "not wanting to help pay for my sister's baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I didn't want to help pay for my sister's baby shower? | A little backstory first. My little sister is 22 and practically homeless. She lives in a tent behind my parent's RV with her boyfriend and recently got pregnant. (It's a total shit show if you ask me) They keep saying they need to find an apartment, but aren't doing the work necessary to do so. My older sister has even offered them her old apartment for a reasonable price, but they say they can't afford it.
She now wants me and my other sister to plan and pay for her baby shower. I said ok, no problem, thinking it would be just us ladies in my aunt's backyard. When I asked how many people she was inviting, she said that she wanted a co-ed shower with 100+ guests. I was blown away.
The bulk of the guest list is daddy-to-be's family and when we asked his sister if she would contribute, she didn't even answer the text. Later I found out that his sister makes A LOT more money than me and my sister combined. My older sister and I make barely living wages and just can't afford it. On top of this, my older sister is trying to plan and pay for her own wedding next year.
Would I be the asshole if I didn't pay a dime for the shower? I'd still help plan, decorate and make centerpieces and stuff though. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oFJ8jO7VUNMPTAhBeYDr16ybJjULxQZq | ayitjb | {
"description": "wanting to break the lease",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting to break the lease? | Me 19, roomates are married, 26&29
I have 8yr old male dog, they have 2 cats and 1 female 2yr old dog. 4 months ago I moved out of my parents house and agreed to move into an apartment with my two friends. We decided to upgrade into a larger apartment at the place they were already at. (upgraded to 1.5 baths and only $100 more from what they were paying)
We move in and everything is great for the first month. Until they start leaving piles of dishes in the sink, cat food (wet smelly tuna) on the kitchen table and never cleaning them, and using "my" bathroom (they have their own bathroom with a huge mirror in their master bedroom and they agreed to give me the other one) and leaving a huge mess of towels everywhere and leaving makeup all over the sink, and toilet. They also started a huge argument over my dog. My dog is male and male dogs tend to be dominant over the female dogs they’re with. When we take them outside he will pee on her pee (dominant male dog thing). So they neglect their dog and leave her out of the cage when one of them is home and she will have accidents all over the house, and in their room. The bedrooms are small so I would let my dog out to have room to move around the house, but when she has accidents he will “mark his territory”. They argued with me and told me I either need to lock my dog in my room or get rid of him. I didn’t want to cause a big argument so for the past 3 months he stays in my room when I go to work. They still continue to neglect their dog and when I leave for work I see piles of poop in their room as I pass by or wet spots on the floor. There’s been times when they don’t clean up after the dog. Once I came home from work, changed and was barefoot and walked to the kitchen. I stepped in a wet spot and I asked my male roomate why the floor was wet. He was playing video games and without looking over says “oh I saw her squat in that area an hour ago” and says nothing and doesn’t even try to clean it up. The entire apartment except my room smells of dog poop and pee, cat food or dirty dishes. AITA for wanting to leave? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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gOl7t0VHHq2pVdqQocebWG9aW0rZxA15 | b3b0qp | {
"description": "shouting at my so",
"pronormative_score": 102,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA For shouting at my SO? | I(17M) have had a crush on my GF(17) since we were in middle school. I have honestly been really awkward around girls because I have a heavy lisp.
My SO was the only girl I ever dreamed of being with, so I asked her out as soon as I finished school. It honestly feels surreal even now. I was bullied for my looks and speech so I never thought I could have a girlfriend. Having someone I like besides me when we go to the theatre or on a walk is the best thing ever.
I tried to be the best boyfriend possible. But I couldn't help but shout at her yesterday. She has this thing where she tells me to keep on saying the words I had trouble pronouncing, and then proceeds to laugh till she cries. I told her I didn't like this, but seeing her get joy sorta made me feel happy in a weird way too, so I went on with the 'joke'.
Since we had dated for about 2 months, she was gracious enough to invite me to a family dinner yesterday. She had a joint family, so about 17-18 people of various backgrounds, shapes and sizes. It was a really daunting task for me since I have terrible social anxiety but I thought I did a great job introducing myself.
It was great till 2 full hours. Then my GF told me to narrate a story of how I asked her out. And I kinda pronounced suck as shuck.
She then laughed and said that was the sole reason she brought the topic up. Made me tell the word again, and her whole family laughed. I told her to change the topic, but she then told me to keep on with the words, and made me say about a dozen words so that everyone could laugh.
Her uncle's kept asking me different words too. I felt horrible and told her I wanted to go ASAP. But she took her time...when we got out to part ways, I instantly shouted at her saying she shouldn't treat me like that when she knows I hate it. She told me to calm down and discuss it without overreacting.
I apologized and said I couldn't do that and went home.
She isn't picking up my calls or anything now, I don't know.
Was I too much of an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 101,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 102,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
tXEW27mERUPqfk15JOWyj5vypOSY6UNS | b1elia | {
"description": "telling my coworker she is being scammed",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my coworker she is being scammed? | So i started a new job back in October. Business casual office environment.
The lady who sits across from my desk is a very nice lady who gets a long with everyone. She is a very religious person, this will come into play.
Since i started I noticed everyday she calls the same person for about 45 min. I started hearing the conversation more and more.
It turns out she has been calling “Jesus” on the phone directly. She believes she is talking to THE Jesus. I’m not a believer myself but I assumed most religious people wouldn’t have Jesus’s number on speed dial.
For the last few months he’s been asking money from her for purposes of getting into heaven and to help the needy. If you take away from the obvious fact this man is not Jesus and is taking advantage of this nice lady, it is a noble cause to give money to I guess?
I haven’t said anything yet to her, but I would really like to tell her she is being scammed from a man claiming to be Jesus and taking advantage of her beliefs. Would I be the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
cgW0gZrs3tUYTZcdhuSxHTipQCeXPojU | a9kvpu | null | AITA Girlfriend broke up with me for various reasons | So when I (M 15) got off of work(yes I have a job at 15), I gave her( F 15) a call since it's been awhile since we've seen each other. Well anyways, we talk for about two hours, then she drops how I make her feel like shit all the time because I flirt with other girls and how I'm a narcissist because whenever we plan to hangout I always put my schedule first.
Now here's where I'm confused.
The girls I "flirt" with are close friends that I hang out with at school. We dont do anything and we never make advances on each other because they're also in relationships( my ex knows all of this). On top of that, mainly because I was curious, after she broke up with me I asked her if she cheated and she said yes. I was kinda shook afterwards because I stayed loyal, but she did shit with another guy and broke up with me for talking to my friends.
Finally, the last part about my schedule makes sense, but I specifically changed my schedule to match hers. It would be like, "Hey my Saturday is open. You?"
She would respond with something like, "No only my Friday is".
Then I would find someone to cover my Friday shift, so then we could hang out.
So am I the AITA? Because I'm hella confused.
Btw sent from phone, so that explains formatting errors and shit. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
12AJKa5kKRNVvz6Fs5OmDlell28R0byN | ajcqd1 | {
"description": "deliberately showing to my friend's girlfriend that he is still smoking though he's been lying to her about it for almost a year",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for deliberately showing to my friend's girlfriend that he is still smoking though he's been lying to her about it for almost a year | So my friend told his girlfriend about a year ago that he'd stop smoking.
However he did not and kept smoking. He used to hide or use chewing gums to mask his breath.
At some point it went too far and he was afraid she would leave him if she ever discovered the truth.
I thought it was an unhealthy relationship but never decided to take specific action about it.
A month ago we were at a party and for no specific reason we swapped our jackets.
This is when I put my hand in the pocket of his jacket and feel a pack of cigarettes. Without giving any second thoughts I take it out and show it like I am surprised. His girlfriend sees the scene and obviously gets very mad at him.
They are not together anymore
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
fxRY3iGU9jdG46vi943I551Vzq3xZy2F | api2t8 | {
"description": "ending an 11 Year Long friendship over work politics",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ending an 11 Year Long friendship over work politics | **Context: I've had two best friends since grade 4. I was lucky enough to get a really sweet gig when I was 21. Since then I helped get my two best friends hired in the same department right before I was promoted to the Team Lead. This is where things started to go downhill.**
When we were all under the same leader, there was a lot of camaraderie and mutual disdain for management. I was given a great opportunity to lead the department and I took it very seriously. This meant I had to start reprimanding my two best friends for shit I would've laughed about before. I could see one of my friends, who I shall rename as Mike for privacy reasons, was starting to not like this new arrangement.
We hired a fourth guy into our department, who was around our age, and everything *seemed* to moving in positive direction from my point of view. Shit hit the fan when I noticed that Mike and the new guy were just standing around and talking about BS for over an hour leading right up to our scheduled 15min break. I pulled them aside saying you guys should NOT spend that much time not working right before getting a break. It looks bad and hurts our productivity (our work has strict due dates). Mike flipped OUT on me saying it's bullshit that now all of a sudden I care when before my promotion I would spend a lot of my time Redditing instead of working. I pulled him aside, calmed him down, and agreed that we both should try to focus more on work during work hours.
I think that's when things snapped for Mike. I learned much later that he was routinely going into MY bosses and complaining about my work ethic and abusing my power. I gave the guys their annual performance reviews, which I felt was fair, but Mike and the new guy decided to band against me and said that my reviews were not representative to their actual performance and that I am trying to sabotage potential raises.
I learned this during MY performance review. I was devastated that my best friend was ACTIVELY trying to fuck me over in my position. That killed me. I approached him after, asking why didn't he just come up to me with these complaints instead of going over my head. He denied ever doing it and said he think I'm doing great.
After only a year in this new position, I heard of another opening in a neighboring department. I LEAPT to this opportunity as I have never been this unhappy and worried about my future in a company before. I got the promotion and bailed. Mike became the new team lead.
I haven't spoke to Mike, non-professionally, in over a year. I've heard he has been going through tough times, but I can't get over how he fucked me over in this position.
Last week his dad died. I saw his FB status claiming how miserable he and how he has no one to go to for comfort. I have chosen to ignore these.
Am I the asshole for abandoning a long friendship over work related drama?
**Tldr; Became the team lead over my longtime best friend. He started to not like having me as his lead and spent months talking shit to my bosses about my performance and leadership abilities. Once I learned this, I bailed on the department and the friendship and haven't looked back even though he has been struggling lately.** | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
tYXDf5BMN7km26sdM3jQEymSDXlcVjqS | b5bwdq | null | AITA - Dumped Girl for Abandoning me at a Party She brought me to | Not sure where to start, but I've been seeing this girl for a month and everything was going great, she was telling me she wanted to be with me forever, and she told her family about me and we were planning trips in the summer, etc it was great.
We went to dinner Friday night, and then went to meet a few of her friends. Long story short, we end up a party at like 330 and everyone is doing coke (not me), including her, and they're all in the bathroom for like 45 mins. I pass out on the couch waiting for her, wake up at 530am and Im like wtf where'd she go??
she left me there and went home
Texted and called her and no response. My last text was dont ever talk to me again. I had a 40 minute drive home in a snowstorm (which she has been aware of, usually I stay at her place and it was understood that I would Friday too)
She took it personal and apparently she has no clue how that was in poor taste and went on the defense and I haven't heard from her since. She said she tried to wake me up but I wouldn't get up so she left. I told her I would never do that to her or anyone -- especially at a party SHE brought me to where I don't know anyone.
I should also add that every time we are together her ex-fiance(who supposedly put her in the hospital on more than one occasion) calls and texts her until the morning. Final note, we are both 30 years old.
Am I the asshole for telling her to never contact me again? How could I have handled this differently? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 56,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 57,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
u8ayFdw5iPsOpswsHs78HTrKCRcyCHuU | b0ypa7 | {
"description": "telling my colleague to stop messaging me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told my colleague to stop messaging me? | I had a few days off from work bacause I was starting at a new job. The last weeks / days of my old Job were very stressful for me. We had a lot of work to finish and on top of that, one of my colleagues was on holidays (colleague A) and the other one was on sick leave (colleague B). Therefore, despite my plans to leave work earlier, I stayed the whole day and not just half a day on my last day. It was not that much of a problem, because I was really looking forward to my days off. However, I didn't have the time to write a long e-mail containing information about the status of the project, e.g. which parts of the projects had already been completed and which parts we had to continue working on. Therefore, I told my colleagues that I will be calling them on my first free day so that we have the time to talk about all the open topics. We talked about them and I got two more calls from my colleagues on different topics that we haven't talked about. I did not see that as a problem because - as I said - I did not write down the final state of the project as detailed as I wanted and offered them to talk about important work related topics if they have any questions. For more context: Colleague A will be leaving the company, too. Therefore, another colleague - Colleague C - will be taking over his role in our company and will be joining my "old" team. At this point I also need to point out, that I have a very good relationship with my colleagues. We often meet each other after work and do a lot of activities together. This also applies to colleague C, and this is where everything begins.
On my first day off, I received a message from Colleague C, which included "gossip" from the office. I replied with a very short text message, whereupon I received the answer "you're welcome. I just wanted to inform you. Now enjoy your days off, you've already had a lot of stress," to which I replied: "Thank you. That's nice. I will". But it didn't stop there. I had four days off and every day I received more messages with office related topics. I didn't even answer the last messages. On one hand I think it is nice that he wanted to inform me about all the new information from the office, on the other hand I really wanted to enjoy my days off without messages or calls with work related information that are not important.
​
Also, on my last free day we plannes an acitvity with some of my colleagues (including colleague C) on which he had the chance to inform me about these topics.
​
Well, would I be the asshole if I told him in a more direct way to please stop sending me unimportant work-related messages on my days off, or should I just leave it at that because my vacation is already over? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Sqv7D678qmqmT3XesAfELpKBsAGynTQH | asxpfr | {
"description": "asking my roommate not to invite her maybe boyfriend over so much",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I ask my roommate not to invite her maybe boyfriend over so much? | So context: my roommate and I share a house with our own room and bathroom and split everything else pretty evenly. She recently started dating someone who has some yellow(?) flags but whatever it’s her life. The issue is that he lives and works an hour away and in the middle of a divorce and stays at a friends.
Cool cool I sympathize, shit happens benefit of the doubt and all that. My thing is he can only visit during the week bc he sees his kids on the weekend, ok again cool I get it.
My issue is I want to be able to come home after work and be a lazy slob sometimes and not worry about being nice or polite to some guy every day. I just want to know if it’s reasonable to ask my roommate to limit his staying over to like 3 nights vs 5nights? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5zr4DIW13RBs6IreV8Az5Mv2ZuG4Fzmv | aee3ej | {
"description": "giving a dissenting opinion when asked about how I felt about my grandparents will distribution",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for giving a dissenting opinion when asked about how I felt about my grandparents will distribution. | This happened this last weekend and I have been told I need to apologize for the situation, but I honestly don't want to and need some perspective.
My grandparents told me how they were leaving most of their assets to my uncle and my female cousins and then proceeded to ask me for how I felt about it. For once, instead of lying and saying that was a great plan, I respectfully and calmly told them how I felt. Upon me giving my actually opinion when asked, I was lambasted by my uncle and my parents who told me it was inappropriate for me to voice dissent for the decision that was made. Instead of making a scene or arguing I simply left.
The fact of the matter is that I have been doing nearly everything for my grandparents for the last seven years including their asset and wealth management. I never got paid a single cent, never received a single gift, or as much as a single thank you, meanwhile my cousin sisters got their college tuitions paid off, vacations, and extravangent gifts year after year. Furthermore I am the only one out the four grandchildren that even visits them more then once a year (I used to meet with them weekly). This is not to say I deserve anything by helping my grandparents but I find it ridiculous that I should have to say I am happy that all portfolio work I have been doing will be given away to people that have not helped in the slightest.
Given the circumstances of this conversation with my grandparents I notified them that I would no longer be managing any of their assets and would find someone suitable that would be able to manage everything for them at a fee. This has turned everyone in my family against me, with everyone calling me greedy and selfish for not fulfilling my "familial responsibility". I think I did the right thing by walking away from this situation, but at the same time I feel terrible for doing so simply due to my grandparents decision on how they wanted to will their assets. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
n8FtlFzLb8G16F2TWGpTkdyZnV9PeKDC | ayg7tt | null | AITA for Traveling? | I live abroad with my wife for years, and have traveled frequently for work/pleasure (also with SO). Now we have a kid (1YO), this is all a bit more challenging.
I have reduced my travel, but there are still periodical opportunities/obligations to travel for work. My SO doesn't like it when I travel but understands that I think it's important and enjoy it. I see it as professional opportunity (needed to get things done) but also personal opportunity (seeing friends, family briefly or spending few days to explore very new destination).
I only book travel after she agrees. I went on a trip recently, and 3 months before that for about 9-10 days.
To compensate, I try to do something in return for travel. As SO doesn't like to travel, I've been home alone for days with my kid when SO travelled for work, but less and shorter duration. Beyond that I am trying to compensate by doing more around the house (on top of pretty even split), ensuring she doesn't need to worry about daycare when they have a day off (she likes to work then so we get extra flexible time off), urging her to do more things by herself (go out, meet friends, etc - but she is not super interested in this). During the trip, I'll look for a nice gift. After, I'll force myself to ignore/get over my jetlag ASAP.
Every trip and before/after she makes me feel guilty, there will be moments where she will be angry and makes me feel like shit.
Now, the latest trip:
Before leaving, I do my best to leave everything in good state e.g. did extra round of laundry and put everything away, bathed our kid, stocked fridge with things she and our kid like, and left flowers and chocolate.
Unfortunately, SO was not feeling well when I left. Not terrible, but not in good shape too. Really bad timing! She didn't want to see a doctor (why!?) even though she was fairly unwell and started feeling worse after I was gone. I felt very sorry for her being sick and for me not being around to support her. Luckily a friend helped her out, staying with her during the weekend. She went to doctor after couple of days who gave meds to remediate situation.
We kept in touch during the trip, also with my kid. I wasn't feeling well before I left and during my trip. Wanting to share the latter with SO, she is telling me she is not interested to hear as she is in shittier situation. In other instance, she got pissed off when after spending 15+ mins talking through issues she is having at work, I wanted to raise my situation (dealing with some challenges too). Because I am spending nights on dinner, meeting friends, family - apparently she thinks it's not reasonable to "complain" about anything (especially not bringing up topics repeatedly) - she also uses this argument after/before trip.
AITA here for traveling? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
vHONFAY6t6QCanfR0SRfyyqkQU1Zz4A5 | aoz5fg | {
"description": "trying something with a girl",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for trying something with a girl | The background: I'm in college, most of my friends are in dorms, but me and my roommate live in a flat. Therefore, we have much more space to hang out and occasionally there is a movie night or something at our place.
This girl is a friend of my best (female, but not that important) friend since high school. One time she came to my place to hang out like everybody else does and I really liked her. After that I asked my friend if I could get her number, but she told me that I may want to take it a bit slower because she always thinks things go awkward when there are boys and girls liking each other in groups. She did not allow for me to get her number, she said she would rather get to know me better before.
After that she still came a total of 2-3 times to my place to watch a movie or something and last time she told me directly that she had a nice time.
The semester is now over and there is a club near me that has an after-party for all the exams. We start by drinking at my place, she comes. She doesn't usually drink at all, this time she did. I drank a bit more, but people, including her, have seen me in a much worse condition. We go to the club, we dance, we have fun and since she keeps coming to my place (I never invite her directly, my friend handles the organization), one would think that she doesn't have a problem with me liking her. So I go on and try to dance with her and after that she stays near me without any signs of discomfort or anything.
That is all I did with an intention to do something with her, because, as I said earlier, she gets worried a lot and I'm aware of that. Later I offered her some drinks, maybe bumped into her semi-intentionally and so on.
After we leave the club, I get a (maybe angry) text from my friend saying that I can't be that annoying and that's not how it's done.
Today in the morning she explained to me that it wasn't so bad, but it may have been too much for girl that's a bit shy and that she had on a face showing some discomfort.
So I feel like a total asshole for doing that and even worse because if it was assholic I may have fucked it all up.
Am I the asshole here?
TL;DR: on a night out I tried doing something with a bit shy girl I like, it might have caused a lot discomfort to her, but what I did wasn't actually a lot | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
8DZ1gNzXDwp8DvvFCy6NCJo0vBIgaEZ2 | ba1mt3 | {
"description": "setting limits or ultimatums to my gf with her drinking",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA if I set limits or ultimatums to my GF with her drinking? | Throw away account as my partner knows my account name.
I(26M) have been in a relationship for a few years with my GF(27F) and to get to the point, she's a horrible person towards me when she gets really blind drunk.
When she goes too far, her mood swings are unbearable. She'll flop on the floor and make stupid loud noises. Sit in the shower running for 30 minutes and shove me away for trying to help. If I ask her to be quite, she'll lash out and say I don't care and don't love her and want to end the relationship and just cry and scream.
The most hurtful is when she said she could've kissed this guy and that if she had wanted to and talk about the people she saw that she used to make out with when she was single and had a clubbers lifestyle of going out every weekend.
(I truly believe she hasn't kissed anyone or done other things while in our relationship)
But she says these things because she likes the idea that she can still be found attractive but not won't pursue anyone attempts at flirting, just likes attention.
When I tell her I don't want to hear about all these people and what she could have done but didn't, she flips the fuck out and cries and yells at me.
When she sobers up or sleeps it off she's an entirely different person but when I know she might drink too much and get this way, I absolutely dread when she gets home.
So to deal with this I'm thinking of some ultimatums to tell her, depending on advice.
I'm thinking,
Tell her she drinks too much when she goes out, she can sleep on the couch or I will and use the spare shower and bathroom until the morning.
Tell her I'm not going to be home and stay the night at a friends or my families home,
To NOT drink any straight spirits (Tequila and Vodka) but she's an adult so it's up to her.
Or the big one if it happens too much again, she clearly can't respect how I feel and what she puts me through and I'll end our relationship or give us the dreaded 'break' if she wants to go back to being a single pringle to mingle bingle.
So before posting I'll say, she's really enjoyable during pre-drinking and great to be around but she can go way too far.
I've told her numerous times when she goes too far she's very horrible to me and she's apologized profusely as she knows she can get bad, I tell her this when she's sober.
She might get this bad once or twice a month, depending. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
crFBiVtlr1poRNwlAHZWCEVENGhdRdjE | b1huem | null | AITA When My Best Friend Is Offended By Everything? | TLDR: Best Friend is offended by everything and I'm sick of trying to accommodate. AITA?
​
My best friend and I have been friends for a long time. We share a lot of common hobbies and interests, a similar sense of humor overall, and we can always tell when one of us is being sarcastic or making a joke. We also both have a variety of mental and physical problems and we have bonded over these and are a support system for each other. I've been friends with her far longer than I have been with my husband, and she's always been very happy for me and supportive of our happiness and our relationship. We have all been living together going on about a year now.
​
Root of the problem: My best friend is constantly getting annoyed and offended by my Husband. All three of us have very dry senses of humor and make very self-deprecating jokes. For some perspective, my fiance and I are fairly on the fence in all lines of thinking, but especially in regards to politics. We see both sides and try to act logically, but we will often poke fun of both sides of an argument and play devil's advocate. He and I also will do a thing where we play devil's advocate when we know the other is strong on a stance, but it's very much in a teasing manner and neither of us are offended or hurt by this interaction.
​
Best Friend can't stand this. She often mistakes his sarcasm and jokes as him being serious, which I'm confused by because it could literally be him mimicking a joke I told him earlier that day to her knowing she'll like it- but I assume she's more annoyed at this point and just taking everything he says seriously.
​
I don't expect them to be best friends, but they are the most important people in my life. Both of them make an effort to include the other one in things we're doing, which I appreciate, but Best Friend seems to go on the defensive and become immediately hostile if she is offended by something Husband says. Sorry if this is going in circles, I'm trying to be vague, but essentially he'll make a joke about politics that's meant sarcastically and she takes it as a personal attack. It he made a joke about banning all guns, she'd think he was personally attacking her as a person.
​
They've both been making an effort to watch movies and shows together and share hobbies (which they do, in fact the two of them have hobbies that I don't share with them and they bond over). However, she's still very offended by his "Jokes." She claims many are racist, or ignorant or homophobic.
​
My Question: AITA for wanting to tell my friend her constantly being offended isn't our problem and that she needs to decide if she's so offended that she no longer wants to be friends with us? My Husband and I have tried to accommodate her but at this point it's asking us to stop being us. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
65X1IysPHzSZiy1UKAt4tAmxhnIaJtCT | ar87qr | {
"description": "cancelling a date after he said something that implied he was bullied in highschool",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 48
} | AITA for cancelling a date after he said something that implied he was bullied in highschool? | I [31F] recently connected with a guy on a dating app [30M]. I hadn't met him yet, but we'd had several conversations over the course of a few days and entertained the idea of getting coffee or drinks, the usual online dating icebreakers.
He was attractive in his pictures and he seemed upbeat and positive and fun. Now, one thing that came up at one point was that he was from the same hometown as me. Which was cool, although we didn't know each other, figured since we were the same age group we probably knew some of the same people. I'm actually still friendly with a lot of people I knew from high school.
Later on in another one of our conversations, we kinda played a little "hometown geography" asking each other who we know from my high school. Well, I asked him. At first he seemed excited, throwing out a bunch of names, all of whom I knew except maybe one. My ex boyfriend was actually among them, hah. I mentioned that, didn't seem to faze him, it was just kind of a 'small world' scenario. Then I mentioned being close with a number of them still (just girls, not my ex). Then his tone changed a bit... well, first he mentioned that he wasn't really close with anyone from high school anymore because 'we've all gone our separate ways'.
Which is fine, but then he dropped this bombshell on me. Well, two of them... "High school was kind of a dark time for me" and "I disliked a lot of people". That kinda raised a red flag for me since it kinda shattered the upbeat and positive image I had of him, and not sure it would bode well with me still being in touch with a lot of friends from those days. Also felt like a bit of an overshare for someone I had yet to meet.
Strangely enough, it seemed like he regretted it immediately and wanted to save face, and actually went on to mention he was happier at the other school and had some great friends and it was a better fit for him. He then changed the subject to our potential date which happened to be that night, asking if we were still on for tonight.
Still, though, something didn't seem right. I told him I don't think it'll work out or that we'd get along well since I really enjoyed high school and was close with all my friends, and wished him luck.
He did not take it well. Well, at first he reiterated what he said about him being happier at the other school and that he was 'over it' and that he 'didn't understand why it mattered' and that that was 'a lot to infer from that one statement'. I felt that I didn't owe him an explanation and just said I don't think it's a good fit. Again, he did not take it well, called me 'superficial' and 'wished me luck' in a condescending manner followed by a short rant.
Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 47,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 48
} | WRONG |
hb3jKqyayQfaENwVM48xHmdftYDlVAzV | acz3sd | {
"description": "smoking a cigarette in the smoking patio of a bar when there's a baby here",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | WIBTA if I smoked a cigarette in the smoking patio of a bar when there’s a baby here? | So I’m at my favorite bar, in the outdoor smoking patio and a couple brought their baby. They’re sitting about 25 ft away from me. I come here to unwind after work, and that includes smoking a few cigarettes. There’s also and indoor section where they could sit.
I’m always considerate anywhere I go that’s not a designated smoking section to make sure I’m far away from anyone who might be bothered. I probably won’t do it, but I’m pretty annoyed. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
zhTJWhdmosWC2Fhr9kHVFB3OOZfa5eqJ | b083ww | {
"description": "being annoyed that my wife won't bring one of our children home from Europe for me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being annoyed that my wife won't bring one of our children home from Europe for me? | I live in the US but am from a country in Europe. My cousin is getting married there in late summer. The whole extended family is going. I'm going to take both my kids there for a few weeks, but will unfortunately miss the wedding. One of them has school that starts a couple days before the ceremony.
When my wife realized I was taking both kids she decided that she'd maybe take a trip to Europe at the same time with her parents, who have always wanted to go (though not to my country, if it matters).
They're super flexible on the dates for their trip, so I asked her if she wouldn't mind taking one kid back home with her to start school, allowing me to see the wedding with the other child and fly home the day after.
My wife said no. Her reasoning is that if she knows the kids are gone for a few weeks she wants to be free to make her own plans or possibly choose not to go at all. I didn't push her, because it's her prerogative, but I'm secretly annoyed. I'd like to think I'd have done the reverse for her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ihGoqBlOVA0cLu8wye9qBFiMtR7UJaX5 | b93hay | null | AITA My brother wants me to work for him | Me and my brother work and go to school at the same places. Our school is easy and work too. He asked me to go to work for him so he can do his school work he's had plenty of time to do. This isn't the first time either. I feel I shouldn't have to go to work because of his procrastination. Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
p6fpEZEzREEgL7IcrBaelnloqzljft8s | b19w4k | {
"description": "not liking your dog",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I don't like your dog? | I'll try to keep this short because it's pretty straightforward.
Girl I'm seeing has a newish dog, medium-sized, pretty rambunctious. Since she got the dog, she won't leave her at home in her crate (except when she goes to work everyday for 8-10 hours of course.) She doesn't drive. I don't feel like going there tonight because I have work in the morning (she doesn't). She wants me to drive to her, pick up her AND the dog, and bring them to my house. She hasn't come to my place once since she got the dog.
I have a newish/very clean car. My house is pretty clean, I have two cats who have never seen a dog. I don't want this dog in my car or my house, I don't want it around the cats, I don't want dog hair everywhere, I don't want the barking and yelping to keep me and my neighbors up all night. Her and I have a history that you could call combative, with lots of stories that would elicit YTA's for all parties for days, so of course this starts a fight. She acts like this is insane and I'm the only person on Earth who might feel this way. That I don't understand or care about the dog's plight. Personally, I think she shouldn't have gotten the dog because she doesn't have the time to care for it (but I wouldn't dare tell her that). I'm not a dog person. I don't dislike dogs, I don't kick dogs, I just don't want a dog in my space.
AITA for telling her I'm not picking her and the dog up and bringing them here and back?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CYxmEvPqO3PKuGpl38SfdFsVKiBSoy6g | b514p7 | {
"description": "telling my gf not to drink too many cans of monster when I drink twice as many",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my gf not to drink too many cans of monster when I drink twice as many? | So I [19M] met my current gf [18] a few months ago and she told me she'd never drank a can of monster. I told her it was great, and I know she has a massive sweet tooth so she tried it and really liked it. We drink it together sometimes but she's recently been drinking it while studying and then also randomly sometimes too. I'm kinda worried that she's gonna drink too much and it's gonna affect her health and sleep. She told me tonight I shouldn't drink it because it was kinda late and she thought the caffeine would keep me awake, and then said she might have one tomorrow. I told her she shouldn't drink too much of it, and then she called me a hypocrite since I drink it way more often than she does. So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
zurScXNawCiCCLQWVbZ0KVC8y2qoNRY2 | b9cxkq | null | AITA because my boyfriend's (21) grandma (85) ate some of my cannabis edibles? | I live in a state with legal marijuana. I left some gummy bears in my and my boyfriends bedroom like I always do because we live alone. He brought his grandma over while I worked (I do nights) and came home around 6 am to an empty house. Come to find out, my boyfriend took her to the emergency room because she started behaving strangely and believed she was having some kind of panic or heart attack. They are still at the hospital now because they admitted her to find out what's wrong.
I got home and ate a gummy and noticed that only 6 of the 9 I had were still there. Three gummys is enough to trip balls and I'm pretty sure that it was her bc my boyfriend is in the military and can't smoke or eat edibles. I know if I tell him he's gonna be mad so im making this post preemptively. AITA for leaving these gummies in my own nightstand even if they possibly caused this fiasco? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
KeU9UxLlvgfejR8csWn4jbuW2gsXJDcg | awov4y | {
"description": "slowing down traffic in the fast lane",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for slowing down traffic in the fast lane? | My city has a roughly 9 mile stretch of interstate that is monitored by speed cameras. The cameras ticket you over 70. I cruise at 65ish in the fast lane, until I’m out of the camera corridor but there are drivers who get angry that I’m not going faster. And speed around me. Am I the asshole for doing this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
GE93h3KgVctUTuAmke0v7MFTSnZWcQP5 | a0qido | {
"description": "being upset and sad that my boyfriend went on a vacation with his female roommate",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being upset and sad that my boyfriend went on a vacation with his female roommate | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT | |
mHKIlZSKCL1EWV83vRjUF3TqEDwxWre0 | ayelao | {
"description": "not talking to ExGF after she enrolled in summer classes and came back to the city to try to be with me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not talking to ExGF after she enrolled in summer classes and came back to the city to try to be with me? | This happened many years ago when I was much younger. I have mixed feelings about it to this day.
An ExGF and I had a very tumultuous relationship for over 2 years while we were in college. It was bad enough at several points that my Mother asked my ExGF to stop talking to me. We were abusive toward each other because we each wanted to control the other. It was obviously unhealthy, but we were young and brave and “in love”. I think back on that relationship often and wish I could have done many things differently. Especially when I left her alone in the city after she came back for summer classes and wanted to get back together with me.
We managed to break up for a few months during the end of our junior year. It seemed like it was finally over. I took some time to heal, spent time reconnecting with friends that I lost, and my family. Eventually I met someone new and we began to talk. That summer, ExGF tried to come back into my life, and I allowed it more than I should have. We spoke, met up, and we did have sex again. At the time I was talking to another girl but not yet in a committed relationship.
It came to a point when ExGF started to push for us to get back together. I gave it a lot of thought and knew that it would be better for us to remain apart. She enrolled in summer classes so she could come back to the city and be close to me. At this point I told her that we needed to remain apart and that I was talking to another person and that I was interested in seeing where it goes. ExGF had a serious breakdown that was difficult for me to see and handle. I walked away from her and left her in her dorm alone. I haven’t spoken to her since but years after, my Mother revealed to me that ExGF confided in her and asked her for support through that difficult summer.
I’ve felt terrible about it since. I haven’t heard from ExGF for the many years since and I’m certain we’ve both moved on from that period of our lives, but I want to know, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YJp8v3RLmsLnoHXzbPTX9xwVVKxEseU0 | ag851q | {
"description": "no longer wanting to drive my boyfriend to the airport",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For no longer wanting to drive my boyfriend to the airport? | Every Monday I wake up at 5 to drop him off to the airport for work. He works a week and then I pick him up on Friday evening. It ruins my whole sleep routine and ends up with me waking up at 1pm on Tuesday. I know he works hard and is stressed so I want to make it easier for him. So even though it was annoying, I was initially fine with it.
Then last weekend I was invited to drink with other students in my class. I asked if he could drop me off and pick me up. He was willing to drop me off, but wanted me to take a bus home instead so that he could spend that alone time chilling, gaming and drinking.
Now, I can usually do that with no issue, except that the location of the party was at a place where buses weren't so common and I would have to walk a distance. I had previously scratched up my knee so walking long distances hurt. Plus the buses stopped a distance from our house.
We eventually came to a compromise that he would drink very little and pick me up from the bus stop in our location so I wouldn't have to walk so far.
I didn't think much of it and understood to an extent that he wanted to chill after such a stressful period. But on Sunday after we were both groaning about having to take up early, he jokingly said he was lucky I dropped him off. A part of me got really annoyed at that statement. I don't go out much and it annoyed me that when I finally did, he had already chosen to make his own plans for that time instead of picking me up. While he takes for granted that I drive him twice a week and it affects my sleep.
AITA for wanting him to find his own arrangements now? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Lh6cj9VFsAA42vMyGyE5hRNQdu7oKxVE | a1ezg8 | {
"description": "wanting to tell my girlfriend that if we don't have more sex ill have to leave the relationship",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to tell my girlfriend that if we don't have more sex ill have to leave the relationship? | AITA for considering breaking up with my girlfriend over lack of sex? Been with this girl for a year, at first things were great. We were affectionate, both confessed our love for each other, had sex all the time. During this time though she would always say that she wasn't an affectionate person and that she had never been this affectionate with any previous partners. Ended up moving out of my flat to stay at her parents house while a flat she bought at auction was getting work done on it, and the plan is to move in there after. Still had sex often but not as much as when I lived alone (understandable living with parents) but we did still have sex.
Fast forward to now. No sex for 3 months. we argue every time I bring it up. She's told me she thinks its the contraceptive pill she's been on, but its the same one she's always taken and Ive researched this and its highly unlikely to be the case. Now she says she's just too tired all the time. but hasn't gone to the doctors (she says she has been too busy with work and the flat). She is not affectionate anymore. When i've brought this up and said I don't feel loved anymore she's adamant that she loves me.
​
After two months of no sex I suggested blow/hand jobs if she wasn't in the mood because I was just horny all the time. I was called selfish and the idea got thrown out pretty quick and more arguing ensued. I trust her fully and 100% don't think she's cheating, she has some of the best morales I've ever seen in a person which is one of the reasons I love her. If I knew it was due to a health issue/problem I would 100% stand by her and try get through it together. But having no explanation, and cant talk with her calmly about it without arguing because she gets so defensive is making me really unhappy in the relationship. There has been no intimacy in 3 months and its killing me, taken all the fun from the relationship, and its like she doesn't care anymore.
​
So was thinking this weekend to meet up, go out and at the end of the night try it on. If i get the usual reply, give her a sort of ultimatum... something like "I love you, but the lack of sex is ruining our relationship, I don't feel as close to you, I don't feel loved, and I don't feel like you care about whats going on. I don't know how long i can stick around feeling like this."
​
If you need more info can answer questions in the comments
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QfB59W4FsWKwWBysNMGxBgtotgk75Ipt | aihf25 | {
"description": "not texting my girlfriends sister to congratulate her on her engagement less than 48 hours after it happened",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not texting my girlfriends sister to congratulate her on her engagement less than 48 hours after it happened? | Backstory: GF and I had just come back from a vacation with her family where i thought her sister BF would propose. He held off till the first weekend after.
I found out Saturday night that they were engaged. Having heen previously married myself i was going to let them enjoy this time to themselves. I knew how chaotic the next few days would be with phone calls. The next day was my last day with my kids for a few days so i was primarily focused on them and packing for a last minute trip i was being sent on early the next morning.
Day 1 of my business trip, not even in my hotel for 20 minutes, i get a text from my GF saying her dad had called her to ask why i hadnt texted her sister to say congratulations. He said he was disappointed and surprised saying "it was disappointing since you may want to be apart of the family."
Now i will be the first to tell you, i suck at multi tasking, but im feeling like im being held to standards that im still learning. I was raised with different values and am disappointed they would immediately go to "disappointed" instead of just asking why? Oh you lost track cause youre busy? Ok. Instead it was like they felt snubbed.
Am i the asshole here because i wasnt johnny on the spot with the congrats text? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FwAp4Ggw1QEht9zaqbDkOk2I87uIySxJ | alxpnb | {
"description": "outing my dad's affair to my mom when she's once said (jokingly) she didn't want to know",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for outing my dad's affair to my mom when she's once said (jokingly) she didn't want to know? | Throwaway for obvious reasons. Friends know my account and I'd rather not have my family's dirty laundry aired to our whole community.
​
Anyways, my parents are in their early 60s and have been married for 40 years. My mom has jokingly said years before that if my dad ever cheats on her, she doesn't want to know because they've been together for so long and she doesn't want to split up. She's said that if he does do anything, all she asks is that he never tells her to spare her the heartbreak. My dad would laugh and call my mom overdramatic. It was all very lighthearted/jokey and I never thought she meant it seriously.
​
Well to keep things short I found out that my dad was indeed having an affair in recent months. It's this woman from one of his hobbyist clubs and according to him they slept together twice and that's it. I sat on this information for a few days and ended up telling my mom. I just knew that if it were me, I'd want to know what my husband did. Well, she blew up...but not at HIM but at ME. She's mad at him too but seemingly far more mad at me. She said that it's on me that she's feeling like this and why couldn't I just respected her wishes when she's said it before to all of us. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and my siblings and I all think she's a bit delusional now. Well, except for my husband, who thinks I overstepped and was definitely TA. I don't agree but would like some thoughts here. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
Y8eOqLDrgIFVmhYt5UmolknSHuGf6OeQ | b2r7fy | {
"description": "refusing to do a list a chores my gf left for me",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 27
} | AITA the asshole for refusing to do a list a chores my gf left for me? | Gf and I have lived together since October. We share in the housework on weekends. We usually spend Sunday doing a deep cleaning and doing any other errands that need to be done. It’s worked out well for us.
This week I’m on vacation from work. When I woke up this morning I found a list of things my gf wanted me to do today. I’m really bothered by it. I’m not her child. It’s so insulting. Honestly had she asked me nicely the night before if I minded doing some of these things I wouldn’t have had a problem, but to leave me a list of chores is just rubbing me the wrong way.
I crumpled the list up and did my own thing today. When gf came home she was annoyed that nothing got done. She doesn’t see the difference between asking me with a shred of respect to do some things and leaving me a list like she’s my mother. She’s been grumbling and moody all night, but I’m not going to apologize. I think my feelings are justified. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 13,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 27
} | WRONG |
qHdvqVeUClKzhOiIrjpc8MLp58LBMbur | adpz43 | {
"description": "questioning my best friend about his pricing for plumbing work in my house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for questioning my best friend about his pricing for plumbing work in my house? | My best friend owns a successful plumbing company and sent one of his employees to service my navien on demand hot water and furnace. The bill was 382$ for 1.75 hrs of work. I guess the part that bothers me is that I’ve spent countless hours the last two summers helping him reno his house and then helping him reno his back patio. Obviously I wouldn’t expected to be paid for helping him reno but kinda assumed it’s a I’ll scratch your back you scratch mine kind of thing. After renoing his house I bought a house and wanted to redo the plumbing, he showed up for a grand total of three days and then stopped showing up and sent an employee that I had to pay. I wasn’t really impressed because I had spent so much time helping him. (on and off for three months atleast a couple days a week)
I’m all for supporting a friends business but I’m starting to feel a little shafted. I was assuming that he would just send a bill for his employees hrs at his hourly rate, not his marked up contractor pricing. So am I the asshole for expecting a deal and should I say something or should I just shut up and pay it and never help him again when he asks? Also I attached the bill and I know he pays this employee 28$ an hr
1 hour x $160.00
160.00
Labour - Subsequent Hours
0.75 hours x $95.00
71.25
Materials:
1- bottle flow aid
2- marrets
3- 1 by 25 by 16 furnace filters. (Allergy control )
Windex and wipes
1 x $133.33
133.33
Subtotal
364.58
GST 5% ($364.58)
18.23
Total
382.81 | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
uI269ws3O5annk4LfmBLo1Xd5OWi3tV2 | am85os | {
"description": "saying this to my girlfriend as we were breaking up",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for saying this to my girlfriend as we were breaking up? | So like three months ago my girlfriend and I broke up. I was actually heartbroken, everything was going so well, and I didn’t understand what was happening. So basically what happened was she said “I don’t have feelings for you anymore” and I said “I don’t care, I lost them like last month, I just didn’t tell you.” Except, I never lost feelings for her. Today I found out that the reason she broke up with me was because people kept making up lies about us having sex (we’re like 15-16 keep that in mind) and doing drugs and stuff. I had no idea until now. I just made up a bunch of shit because I was mad and I assumed that she didn’t have feelings for me anymore. But, I guess she just wanted the torture to stop and I wasn’t enough to help her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
uqSO04FZbVf0yuKMU9F49geAORy17Oga | agnpu2 | null | Update: AITA for cutting off my MIL’s internet/tv? | Alright, so my last post on here I raised concern on how my MIL was using my name for her internet/tv and if I was the asshole for trying to cancel (she had her bill racked up to 294 with PPV purchases and whatnot as well and overdue late fees and a two year contract)
Now, I just cancelled it yesterday, and as I phoned Eastlink they stated my pin was changed. I ALWAYS have my pin a certain number, so I knew right away someone phoned as me and changed it so I couldn’t get into my account. I explained the situation and they had it cancelled of all services, and I get the joy of repaying 400 in charges (cancellation fee, overdue charges, and contract breach) that I know for a fact my MIL won’t be reimbursing me yet it’s not my charges.
This morning I get an email saying I had new services put on January 16th for a two year contract AGAIN. She someone phoned Eastlink and pretended to be me AGAIN. I phoned this morning and didn’t have a proper english speaker teller who told me my pin that I changed was changed AGAIN from the time yesterday I cancelled to 8:30 am today. This is getting ridiculous.
That’s the update for that, as you can tell I’m having a fantastic start to my day!
Any advice would be appreciated. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VLUFOe5w0wY1HDlvGu1LKi9Yne5Cp5Lk | a0pony | {
"description": "immediately going no-contact with my now ex-girlfriend after she admitted to cheating",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for immediately going no-contact with my now ex-girlfriend after she admitted to cheating? | Just for some backstory, my girlfriend and I had been dating for about 7 months now. For 5 of those months, we had been working on a long distance situation, as both of us go to college about 3 hours apart. For both of us, the other was, essentially, the first serious relationship we had had.
Just a few days ago, I received a call from my then-girlfriend saying that she wanted to confess to something she had done. Just a day after I had left, she had been catching up with a Male friend who she had been friends with for quite some time. While they were hanging, she started to get a bit emotional, hugged him while talking about how difficult the long distance situation is, and after one thing lead to another, she kissed him.
At first, I only wanted to know why. I asked her if it was consensual, and she said yes. I then asked if she had been wanting this, to which she reluctantly also agreed to. She then went on to say that she had been meaning to ask me for a break, but knew I wouldn't like that much and never asked. She truly did feel bad about what she did, and I respect her immensely for coming up about it.
But my only reaction was to say "I'm sorry, but I'm through. Goodbye.".
I haven't contacted her since. The only reasonable approximation to contact I've had was to tell her mom that I wished the both of them the best, but that I didnt know how often I would be in contact with her from then on.
My girlfriend had been going through some rough times recently, and I had been doing everything I could to help her, so i knew what she did was not out of hate or spite. She simply got too emotional, and ended up releasing on someone whom I had known for quite a while. I know there was no ill will, but she still broke my trust in her and went with someone else behind my back, so AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wob5ZwsOofu0Ul3ZTsbSxKlKSgGUfFkT | b3axh5 | {
"description": "getting mad I didn't sleep well",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for getting mad I didn’t sleep well | So I wanna start this off by saying I’m happily married, love my husband more than anything in the world, but unfortunately he suffers from mild sleep apnea. I don’t blame him at all or fuss at him about it since it’s not something he can control and he does wear his cpap every night he comes to bed.
Last night however his snoring was especially bad and I could not fall back to sleep once he came to bed,. To clarify he went to bed sometime around or maybe a little before 3 since when I checked my alarm it was around 3:30.
Normally when this happens I nudge him to make him roll over and in the event that that fails I wake him up as gently as I can and ask him to roll over so I can get back to sleep. It took maybe 15 minutes of this to actually get a response out of him which was just him lazily opening an eye to look at me before falling back asleep without moving and resuming his snoring. I will admit this did make me a little upset and I shook him a bit harder than I normally do and told him in a stern voice for him to roll over.
Now this did wake him up, but he looked at me as if I had just cussed at him and in the moment I did feel pretty bad about it since he can be a pretty heavy sleeper at times. I apologized immediately and got out of bed letting him go back to sleep.
Fast forward several hours later and he was dropping me off at work (we share a car) and he started telling me about this dream he had and asking me what I thought about it. Meanwhile I had been awake and stewing for several hours about how Wednesday is his day off meanwhile I work a double between our family’s store and another job downtown resulting in me telling him that I didn’t have the energy to talk right now. (I will admit that there was a bit of an edge to my tone)
We were pretty much at work at that point and as he dropped me off he quipped that I had been acting like an asshole all night so he’d give me some space.
do you guys think he’s right? I keep thinking that maybe I should’ve handled it better but at the same time I’m just so dang tired and wasn’t in the mood to be bubbly and charming. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
uojMnkcuPgMyymiTtV8kIKJsDoDjYaI9 | apsoa7 | {
"description": "not correcting my cashier that an omelette is not called oatmeal for 3 days in a row? I've saved $6 and seems like sky's the limit",
"pronormative_score": 152,
"contranormative_score": 37
} | AITA for not correcting my cashier that an omelette is not called oatmeal for 3 days in a row? I’ve saved $6 and seems like sky’s the limit | Hi everyone!
I go to the same place for breakfast every day and get an omelette. It’s cafeteria style where you get your food then bring it to a cashier where they look at/ask what’s on your plate and ring you up accordingly.
A few days ago there was a cashier I’ve never seen before. It’s pretty busy when I go and they try to whisk you through the line and take payment as quickly as possible. She looked at my plate, rang me up for “oatmeal” and took the card I was already handing out and charged me before I could even really say anything. A bowl of oatmeal is $2.50 instead of $6 so I just figured I’d take advantage of the small mistake in my favor, especially cuz I eat here every day.
The next day I ordered the same omelette, went up to line,and in between the person in front of me leaving and me getting all the way to the front she had already rang me up for “oatmeal” and was handing out her hand for my card. I have been in line when people have disputed the cashier before and nothing seems to unite strangers against you more than ruining the 5 seconds/person flow they usually have, so again, this time more afraid of the strangers then happy about a small thing going in my favor, I took the discount.
Now for a third day she looked up at me, smiled, said “I got you! Welcome back” and pressed “oatmeal” and charged me the $2.50.
AITA for taking advantage of this for 3 days? Should I say something tomorrow? Does she know what she’s doing and just likes me? Or does she really just think the oatmeal button says omelette?
People order both pretty often so she Should have to be using both buttons.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 73,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 79,
"INFO": 5
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 152,
"WRONG": 37
} | RIGHT |
DqwVoJJbHxx2OxffBU5hf5sdQrYZTziQ | atfehb | {
"description": "refusing to date anyone who smokes",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | aita for refusing to date anyone who smokes? | basically, being around smoke gives me headaches. it’s not just cigarette smoke, it could be any kind of smoke; smoke from a campfire or even a barbecue. i don’t have asthma, it doesn’t cause a coughing fit, it just gives me a headache for some reason. i don’t have anything against people who smoke, i get its stress reliving for some people, i just don’t want them around me while they are smoking. anyways, a friend called me an ass for not giving anyone who smokes a chance and i could just take allergy pills or something, so, aita here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SNNcN7ZXKzYCCDD3MUAkRLdxqZux8jz4 | b5eaa4 | {
"description": "getting upset with my uncle for taking back a car he gave me 3 years later without discussing it with me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset with my uncle for taking back a car he gave me 3 years later without discussing it with me? | So for context, a few years ago my aunt and uncle got a new car and offered to give their old car to my uncles son, who didn’t want it , then they offered it to my other cousins and they declined as well. Finally they offered it to me, and of course I said yes I could really use another car! So they give me the car within a month it needs a new transmission and various other things costing over 3 grand and over the years I put at least another 2 grand into so at least 5 grand total. I drove this car everyday and put lots of miles on it, and the same with my other car which I knew was on the verge of needing a very expensive repair, so I planned on selling them both and getting something decent with lower miles. My dad opens his big mouth and tells my uncle I’m planning on selling the car he gave me so without even consulting me my uncle decides apparently with my fathers approval is going to take the car back and give it to his son who didn’t want it the first time around... I love my uncle and he has been very good to me but this was really out of character for him to just decide this without discussing it with me... so I can’t really argue because I don’t want to cause family drama. His son flys out I pick him up from the airport take him to the dmv and send him away with the car. I get a call a few days later asking me why all these problems with the car have not been fixed? This is when I got upset and told him you know what? I didn’t want to put any more money into this car I already put in over 5 grand because I was planning on selling it, and I reminded him I that I told him before they took the car back that I put lots of miles on it and it’s far from perfect condition... am I the asshole for getting upset with him after he had the audacity to question why I didn’t give him the car back in perfect condition after he didn’t even discuss it with me first? So now of course that major problem with my other car that I knew was going to happen happened and now I have. Nothing to drive because I can’t afford the repair, when if I could have followed through with my original plan I’d be driving something decent right now. The whole thing is it ruined my plans I did a patchwork repair on my other car because I knew I was going to sell it but since I ended up having to continue driving it it’s fucked, and had I known at the time I wouldn’t be able to sell the car my uncle gave me I would have had my other car repaired fully with a warranty when I had the money at the time... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Xu3ohhfKxmSBkw9JH17WY6J2X6tcWinc | asz8b6 | {
"description": "asking my so not to grab my boobs",
"pronormative_score": 88,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking my SO not to grab my boobs? | Am I the asshole for asking my husband not to grab my boobs? He rarely initiates a kiss with me, or cuddles with me, or never cradles my head in his hands anymore, but usually goes straight for the boobs, fondling them and burying his head in my chest. He does this as soon as he gets home from work. He does this while I cook. I've asked him to stop repeatedly, that I don't like it, that it makes me uncomfortable. Especially when I feel he ignores my face just to bury his head in my boobs, like when he comes home from work without saying hi or kissing me hello. We've been married 5 years, but this behavior probably started within the last 2 years with increasing frequency.
He does this again tonight, tries squeezing them, and I start to shrink in on myself as I again ask him to stop. He asks why. I say it makes me uncomfortable. Again he asks why. I repeat my phrase. We do this about six times. He says that's not a good enough reason, and we're married, and I should stop being such a prude. My reason that it makes me uncomfortable is not enough, and I have to provide further justification as to why I don't wish to be grabbed at - justifications that I've provided in the past, but I've realized it's my body - I shouldn't have to provide a justification beyond "it makes me uncomfortable," right?
Now he's being all pissy (didn't talk to me for an hour) , asking semi-sarcastically "is it okay if I touch you now?" before kissing me goodnight (for once - I usually kiss him goodnight) and basically makes me feel like the bad guy. Am I the asshole?
​
\[Let me know if this is not the appropriate subreddit for this inquiry. \] | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 85,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 88,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
OxMZRmOjdjOmy66m2QyAV9omhzxx6ZhK | b1lm51 | {
"description": "being pissed that my pregnant ex is drinking and telling other people at the bar",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for being pissed that my pregnant ex is drinking and telling other people at the bar | My girlfriend and I recently split up because she got pregnant. She wants an abortion and I want to keep it, but obviously there’s nothing I can do, but I left her.
Literally 2 days after we split I saw her out drinking at the bar with her friends. I was pissed that she could be so flippant in this situation and since it was only 2 days later, she clearly hadn’t gotten the abortion yet. I confronted her about drinking while pregnant and she mouthed off at me and told me to fuck myself. I yelled a bit (I know I shouldn’t have) about the situation and revealed she was pregnant and going to have an abortion, and some of the other customers started booing her and shouting at her. She started crying and I just walked away. AITA for unintentionally telling people her situation and for being pissed at her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
94d6J7tJhRDwwRtve1QxoUvIuyyM2YSi | a9ujbw | {
"description": "not supporting a small business that donates to a cause",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not supporting a small business that donates to a cause? | A person I went to high school with has started a new business venture that sells clothing in support of suicide. They go for about $20 and 20% of the profits are donated, 10% each to two separate suicide prevention organizations. A lot of people on my social media accounts have bought into this and continue to share it on their pages, and almost every day I get invited to share/follow it.
My dad passed away due to suicide when I was a teenager, so I’m all for suicide prevention, but this all feels so wrong to me. It seems like the person is taking advantage of a cause close to the hearts of many to make a lot of money. To me, 20% of profits is way too low to be considered “fighting for a cause”. This person has started several businesses in the past so maybe that’s what’s causing me to think they’re just trying to make a quick buck but now emotions as a coercion factor.
AITA for refusing to support this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Wu5iOtA6qWTpb7fz4PttrHnSKOwAgIto | awf50m | {
"description": "cutting some people out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting some people out of my life? | on mobile, so sorry for bad formatting
So for context, I have/had been friends with this group of people for a good few years. I wanna say 5ish years, but in the past few years 2 of these people have become overly toxic towards me and another female in the group. I'm not the most attractive person, and we've both got our own issues. (because of the clash between said issues I have also cut her from my life).
But they almost consistently made fun of me being stupid and always wrong, and I always felt like shit around them.(also some other personal reasons why i left)
But because of all of this I cut them out, left the main group, and made a new group full of the people who I felt better around.
Since I made the decision, I havent been feeling depressed(doctor diagnosed) and I have a bit more self-confidence in myself.
I feel like a huge dick though because I cut them out, and made a smaller group without them in it. I feel as though I've basically made the few i kept make a choice and I don't know what to feel. It is actually something thats kinda tearing me up inside.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
b7vvrGj24LehAob2RvgTtb1HDX3fLCaB | an8lnv | {
"description": "not inviting my friend to a party I'm throwing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I don't invite my friend to a party I'm throwing? | So every year, I throw this little party at my place, and I invite a bunch of different friends over. It's nothing special; we play some video games, have some food and drinks, and just catch up and relax. We all have such busy schedules, so the party's just an excuse to see everyone. In college, I met this one friend and decided to invite him. Despite being a little shy at first, he fit in really well with everyone and had a lot of fun!
As time went on, the two of us got closer and more comfortable around each other and he's been to these parties annually ever since I first invited him, so he's been getting more comfortable in this setting as well. I should also note he has this really awkward obsession with the game *Cards Against Humanity* (CAH), and is always trying to get as many people as possible to play, even if it's clear nobody else wants to play. Nothing evil; just awkward at times.
Last year's party, however, he began crossing some boundaries. I'll keep it as short as I can--he comes to my house and wants everyone to play CAH. And I mean EVERYONE. He had about 10 people playing, but that wasn't enough; there were some people in the other room not playing, and some people not fully engaged. He was visibly angry at this, so he felt it appropriate to raise his voice at them and tell them they're being "dicks" for not playing. I get yelled at too because I would play for a few minutes, then leave to prepare food and talk to the other guests.
I spoke with him about it, but he doesn't even remotely see the problems in his actions. He actually thinks he's the victim, saying, "oh, well it's just that I spent all this money on these cards and I was just looking forward to everyone having fun playing!"
For me, this is unacceptable behavior. Yelling at my friends, yelling at me, taking advantage of my hospitality so you can push your own agenda. Despite it being months away from when I typically throw the party, he's already talking about how excited he is to "break out the new cards," and "having everyone play." I mentioned that I don't think I'll be throwing a party this year. This is a lie. I do want to keep the tradition alive, but I don't want to throw a party if it'll be a repeat of last year. Another friend of mine mentioned I should tell him he can't come if he acts like that again, but I also don't feel right threatening him, "hey, don't do that again or I'm not inviting you."
He's still my friend, but I genuinely do not want him at these parties anymore. It's enough stress and work as is, and the last thing I need is someone making me and all my friends uncomfortable for a selfish reason. Talking to him about it doesn't work, and I will not put up with him yelling at everyone again. Though not including him kills me on the inside, because he does have a lot of fun at these parties, and he never gets any other chances to play his CAH.
TL;DR Dude was acting very rude at my house party, talking to him didn't work, and now I don't want to invite him to the next one. Am I an ass? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
GQHJIcbHOmya2ibgE84Bxuq7PYoKaqya | ajt4jh | {
"description": "freaking out and telling my one night stand to get out my flat",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 26
} | AITA for freaking out and telling my one night stand to get out my flat? | So I (19M) am at university. I have only had sex with one person before, who was my long time girlfriend. We broke up 1 year ago.
I have never had a one night stand before, and I was afraid that it would make me feel depressed because of all the stories I've read about how post orgasm makes some guys feel worse. I have had issues with depression before, so I was weary about hookups.
Well I really decided to try and get laid to see what it was like. After a few weeks of going out I finally got the chance to get laid with a girl I met on a night out. Anyway I bring her back to my place and we do the deed, and I manage to orgasm.
After orgasming I feel a wave of depression hit me...and a wave of existential crisis. ''What the hell did I just do?'', ''Is this the meaning of existence....just to fuck? There's no meaning here'', ''This is all meaningless'' all rushed into my head...I didn't know what was happening, I felt like my existence was meaningless.
I tell her to get out, she asks why, and I start screaming ''GET OUT!!!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'' ''AAAARARHHH!!!''. She packs the fuck up and leaves. I felt like I was having an existential crisis.
After going to bed I wake up and felt a lot better...realized I might have over-reacted. Was it a normal reaction? Has anyone else done this before? **No, I did NOT take any drugs. I had a bit of alcohol, not enough to be wasted though.** | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 26
} | WRONG |
Rp0kvaL2HIkuhPUPwihPSsLvEIYWFeXP | a5si88 | {
"description": "asking a female friend to crop me out of their profile picture",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For asking a female friend to crop me out of their profile picture? | She made her profile picture one of the two of us, and I didn't want anyone to think we were together so I asked her to crop me out of it, she removed the picture entirely and hasn't responded to my texts :/ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
BjyNg6amzR2AgMAzWIOnzSyCYbT9Pe1V | b8cait | {
"description": "choosing my dog over a decent place to rent",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for choosing my dog over a decent place to rent? | TL;DR at the end.
GF and are currently renting out an apartment with my dog from my aunt. She's grad student and works part-time and I work full-time usually from home. The apartment is actually an extension of aunt's house but we have our own bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. It's an excellent spot for each of us - a short drive to downtown as well as a short bike ride to campus and GF's place of work (GF doesn't drive so she bikes or takes the bus). My aunt’s been very generous and let's us rent out the place at a fraction of the cost that she regularly would. I also have a Great Dane. She is a bit smaller than the average Great Dane, but still big as dogs go and pretty energetic. She's very attached to me as Great Danes are, and enjoys our current living place - there is a large yard for her to run around.
My aunt decided she wants the dog out and said that we get rid of the dog in 30 days we must leave or find another place. Aunt didn't mind the dog at first, but she's started to get annoyed with them since she doesn't like having it around the house. I've already decided I'm not giving up this dog. I've had her for 5 years and she's honestly helped me get through a lot of shit. Not to mention the dog is very attached to me and I'm afraid what will happen to her if I were to just leave her. I've been looking into other living arrangements, but rent would triple in price compared to what we pay now. It wouldn't be unlivable, but we definitely wouldn't be able to save as money as we have been, and we'll be on a tighter budget. GF cannot understand why I would give up this place, doesn't think it's worth it and pretty pissed at me. Apparently, her sister offered to take the dog in, but her sister lives on a ranch almost 3 hours away so it wouldn't be very convenient for us to visit. GF’s only option is to choose another place with me and splitting rent.
I tried to explain it won’t be like we'd be out on the street; we'd just have less money to do fun things and less in savings. I'd even drive her around to her work and classes whenever she needed. said I was wrong for choosing the dog over what's best for us, that we could really need the money we're saving now in the future and sending the dog to her sister's is the best deal. I maintained that the dog is important to me and I can't just get rid of it like that. She said I was an asshole for not taking her compromise.
So AITA for choosing to live with my dog over continuing to rent this very affordable and convenient location for my girlfriend?
TL;DR: Girlfriend and I are renting a very convenient and cheap place from my aunt. Aunt suddenly decides she wants my dog out but I'm unwilling to let the dog go so we'll have to move somewhere less convenient and much more expensive putting us on a tighter budget. GF says it's a terrible idea and thinks I'm an asshole for considering my dog over our future. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
eeQ3zE9JLgtwS4HZOTKkeHyIiGKYUPUg | b6b3qa | {
"description": "making plans on the weekend I said my friend and I would finish a song",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making plans on the weekend I said my friend and I would finish a song? | Suprisingly this is a very frusterating story.
Me and a friend of mine (let's call him Joey) were writing a song. We wanted to finish it over the weekend with another musician and I said I was in.
Thursday night, however, Joey said we were going out of town Friday and Saturday evening, two hours away. I told him I couldn't do it Saturday night because I was already attending a friends party (my car was in the shop so I would've had to ride with him). I asked if we can stay local and write so I can uber at night but write all day. He wouldn't cooperate so I decided to stay to attend my friends party.
Whatever, right? We can finish the song later.
Joey proceeds to stop messaging me. Leaving me on read when I'm trying to figure out why he was ignoring me in the first place.
I guess he decided to bring my boyfriend into it, because later that day I get a message from my bf asking me why I "bailed" on Joey (they're good friends). I explain and show him the screenshots of the texts. He doesn't know why he is freaking out so much, either.
After over a week of leaving me on read, Joey responds saying that he was mad at me because he "absolutely hates getting bailed on by women"...
Seriously? He's 30. I didn't bail on you. We had no definite plans. And you were the one who wouldn't compromise. Grow up.
We haven't talked since, but this time its mutual. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
39ejnwSmoJ1PM6TS1XDwdDwvkTYS3N4j | ami34z | {
"description": "not wanting to be the messenger",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA - I don’t want to be the messenger. | My parents have been divorced for nearly 20 years and are civil. I am very close with both of them. Step mother is not quite so civil. (All are in their mid 60’s)
My mother is raising my addict, garbage, sibling’s very young child. She will occasionally ask my father to chip in financially to help with the child and their needs. Dad doesn’t mind helping out here and there, however, SM gets agitated when mom calls and asks for things. Mom will also sometimes ask for assistance with something related to garbage sibling, and SM would freak the F out if she were to find out.
Dad has asked that I call instead of Mom if the child needs anything (or if there is a garbage sibling situation) and he’ll pass the money or info or paperwork, through me.
On one hand; I’m an independent adult and have no interest in being the middle man in the continuing bull my garbage sibling inflicts upon all of us. I don’t want to get caught up in the drama, and I hate calling dad to ask for money (sometimes a large amount of money) even though it obviously is for the kid. (or paperwork or something for the sibling I have no contact with) I don’t want to share in the responsibility for any of this that has nothing at all to do with me.
On the other hand, my parents are both being decent people trying to do right by a kid that doesn’t deserve any drama. They’re asking me to make a few calls (when I talk to them both pretty regularly anyway) to make things run more smoothly. And they are both adults completely capable of deciding when and how to engage or help garbage sibling and that really isn’t my business.
But I really just don’t want to be involved like this.
(And when I mentioned it to Mom, she snapped at me that it is Dad’s request. When I mentioned it to Dad, he was pretty much ‘for god sakes all of this is hard enough, please just do it.)
So AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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VZCvuvRIzO6WxS5m5fnGUiEUDh0vWX0s | ahvq5c | null | AITA The ball for the end of our dancing classes | Hi. New to this reddit sub. So we had a ball at the end of our dancing classes so we can show our relatives what we have learned in it. When our showing ended some of my friends went to downstairs where we can have a little privacy as participants and got really drunk (they weren't adults they were like 16-17) and when I was there the only one trying to help them and not letting them upstairs where were their parents and organisers. When I was really forcing them to not go upstairs and someone from security said he would call police if the alcohol is still there when he comes again almost everyone (even some of the sober ones) were really hating me and wanted me to drop it and let everyone do what they want (even if the police was called there they would have a huge problem with them and they would ruin the whole event) and I didn't let them and trying to keep them there and alright. Am I the asshole? (Sorry for my English if it's really bad) | HISTORICAL | {
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kMsEYfPXi1x5vOCYEVWwaLX8Jtn40bU6 | aqo7zo | {
"description": "outting a cheating ex who could of given me HIV",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for outting a cheating ex who could of given me HIV? | This is going to be a long story with many details so here:
TLDR: my high school boyfriend cheated on me with two of my best male friends, which all of my friends knew about and encouraged but never told me, so I outted him.
This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons.
When I was 11 I became best friends with Andrew, Jackie, and Carrie. We hung out constantly for the next 3 or 4 years throughout school and outside of school.
When high school came, they pushed me out of the picture. Wouldn’t talk to me or engage with me. I tried but they didn’t put in any effort and didn’t give me any reason.
I became friends with Dan, Anastasia and Taylor. Dan was openly gay and we rode the bus together to school every day for grade 11. Anastasia and Taylor were an open Lesbian couple.
I started dating a boy named Devan and introduced him to Dan. They became best friends right away (see where this is going?).
Devan was really popular and Andrew, Carrie and Jackie picked up on this. They tried to reignite our friendship by inviting me and Devan over. Then they stopped inviting me.
Anyways, fast forward to our one year anniversary.
Devan plans this super thoughtful date for us and I really enjoyed it. However the next day, he calls me to tell me he’s breaking up with me, not giving a reason.
I find out that Devan had been cheating on me with Dan (who, it’s important to add is HIV positive) for pretty much our entire relationship. I also come to find out that he’s been sleeping with Andrew.
I go to Anastasia and Taylor super upset, having just learnt this, and they told me they knew and wanted him to discovery who he really is so they didn’t tell me. Realizing they aren’t any help and just betrayed me, I go to Carrie and Jackie, who tell me the same thing about Andrew; they knew all along and thought they made a better couple than me and him anyways.
So a few days after the break up, it gets around school and people start asking me what happened. So, being betrayed and hurt, I told them Devan was gay and cheating on me (didn’t specify who).
This was about 7 years ago but I still struggle with it. Since then, i suffer from severe social anxiety, I don’t have many friends because I have horrible trust issues, and when I approached Anastasia, Taylor, Jackie, and Carrie in the recent past, asking for clarification, they tell me to just get over it since it was so long ago. No one has ever apologized to me for this.
So again, I will repeat
TLDR: my high school boyfriend cheated on me with two of my best male friends, which all of my friends knew about and encouraged but never told me, so I outted him. Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
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DWzIvoDw0Hqi5mfazvwp5ZpwbPhGWVcW | b7w60q | {
"description": "reporting a guy who dropped an I.O.U into the collection bin for money that pays for frozen food out of the freezer at work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For reporting a guy who dropped an I.O.U into the collection bin for money that pays for frozen food out of the freezer at work? | This guy is a slacker and does not show that he's hard up for cash or anything he just eats everything. He gets into the other shifts potluck foods and if someone brings in something for everyone to try he eats the majority of it. So our morale group has stocked food in the freezer as a courtesy and we have asked everyone to put money in a specific place when you pay for it, its not on a donation basis and we dont take I.O.U's.
So come today the first day the food is available this guy doesnt have change to pay for it and drops in the I.O.U. and several other co workers witness it and one speaks up and says something. Well when i get informed that this happened i gather the person and his supervisor and we go talk in the back. He tells me yes he dropped in those I.O.U's its no big deal im over reacting about it, and nobody said it was a bad idea or he would have stopped.
So im mad because hes trying to say these co workers are lying. Even though i trust them more than him. But in all honesty here, i dont trust him at all he lies about alot of stupid little things and breaks alot of rules around the work place. I feel like im totally justified for getting pissed off.
We say dont do that and he goes and does that on day one, and then lies about some of it and calls the other people liars about speaking up. AITA for involving the supervisor? | HISTORICAL | {
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EqgqDgjnqPJjpxWtxqWWB4pzCikCJ3JR | b978fc | {
"description": "continuing to sleep with a guy who has a girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 76
} | AITA for continuing to sleep with a guy who has a girlfriend? | been lurking for a while/first post/on mobile/the usual
I (f23) am in my last year of undergrad. Through random social circumstances, I reconnected with a guy that I went to high school with who also attends my university. We started a FWB situation pretty much straight away after that, and have been seeing each a few times a month since the beginning of fall semester.
Jump to about 3 weeks ago. I was scrolling on the Instagram explore page and see a picture of my fwb and a girl. I click on her profile and wow. From the looks of her post history, they’ve been seeing each other since at least November. Vacation photos, holiday photos, everything. I decide not to say anything about it to anyone, and didn’t hear from my fwb until...
Fast forward to this past weekend, and I get a message from him asking me to come over. I’m thinking okay, maybe they ended things. Nope. I go back to her profile again and there’s a new post from the night before!
I debated what I should for a few minutes and decided to...go to his apartment. My (maybe flawed) reasoning was that it’s not my relationship, and if I wasn’t snooping through instagram I never would have known about the other side of this.
So after all this my question is, am I the asshole in this situation for continuing to sleep with him?
| HISTORICAL | {
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g72eBSCyXerOKPRSyVcsZb2qeJRclSHx | ajdors | {
"description": "leaving the gym early, leaving my partner alone",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving the gym early, leaving my partner alone? | Most days, I go to the gym with my friend Dan. We work out together so that we can spot and encourage each other, but also because we don't always know what to do. So picking exercises becomes a bit collaborative.
At the end of the workout, Dan always wants to do some ab exercises, which I have no desire to do. I feel pretty comfortable with my core, and I don't think I need them, plus I get pretty tired at the end of the workout.
Many days, Dan tells me "let's go do abs" and I tell him I'm going home. "*you* can do abs, I'll see you tomorrow" and we repeat this exchange 3-4 times most days. He 's trying to goad me into staying, but I usually just shower and bail. Am I an asshole? is that a dick move? I haven't had a regular gym-friend in the past, so I don't know if this is against etiquette. | HISTORICAL | {
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BF31lUN5qnv6ROXj7ZIBRxf6Gw4KDbYf | aa865q | {
"description": "possibly being sexist and hijacking a support thread",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for possibly being sexist and hijacking a support thread? | Ok Reddit so here's a situation I've been chewing for a while, although happened a year ago I still think about whether I was the asshole in this situation or not. So back when I was just finishing up college, I was part of a nudes group on fb that a irl friend had invited me to. I was having some body image issues at the time so I actually really enjoyed posting and getting feedback and helping others with their images.
One day my Irl friend posted about a crappy situation that happened to her on a dating site, where after she rejected a guy asking her out he called her a fat whore and blocked her, she posted on the nudes group asking for some support. After a little while the comments were overwhelmingly what I considered a little hurtful with other women commenting that men are "vile and trash" and straight men are garbage and worthless and evil etc. Etc.
I found the thread kind of hurtful and commented that although I was horrified that someone had done that to her on the website I didn't think it was fair for the comment section to condemn an entire gender calling them vile worthless garbage. I immediately got slammed saying I was hijacking the thread and taking away from victims who were well within their rights to attack their suppressors and I was acting like part of the #notallmen movement.
They banned me after I made a couple more comments defending my comment and it still bothers me to this day. I don't think I was the asshole but I still think about it. I'm open to a new opinion about it.
So Reddit was I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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8fHZ96pNNIZSa5PcHim1b00XssBbpaTa | au5qk4 | {
"description": "correcting my date who thought that Ben Franklin was a president",
"pronormative_score": 531,
"contranormative_score": 43
} | AITA For correcting my date who thought that Ben Franklin was a president? | I usually think i have a pretty good grasp of social situations but maybe i fucked up.
Was on my first date with a woman related to my friend. Its going good, we're eating dinner, chatting when she starts playing the question game. "Whats your favorite movie?" , "Whats your favorite song?" ect.
I ask her "Whose your favorite president?"
"Hmm. It would have to be JFK, Ben Franklin, and Obama in that order."
"Oh, but Ben Franklin wasnt president."
"What?"
"He wasn't president. He was a founding father though and its a mistake a lot of people make."
"Maybe its a mistake that you made? Because I guarantee you he was."
"No, he really wasn't im serious." I think its still light so I laugh.
"Ok, one sec." She smirks and reaches into her purse/wallet thing and pulls out a 100 dollar bill.
"Who does that look like to you?"
"Ben Franklin?"
"Ha, there you go!"
I now realize she thinks you need to be a president to be on dollar bill.
"You know Hamilton wasnt president and is on a bill?"
"Google it! Google it!" She shouts in like a fed up laughing tone.
So I do and recite the Wikipedia article on how Ben Franklin was never president.
"Hmm. Ok?"
Complete awkwardness for the rest of the night. My friend later said that she thought I was a know it all and was condescending. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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IEr0oOku29vZwY29ocbFf7XLghYC04Nf | afo7zn | {
"description": "asking neighbor kids to get off my lawn",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For asking neighbor kids to get off my lawn | So even writing that title makes me feel old. Here's the deal, I really love kids and I'm happy to see them do all sorts of craziness in the name of being a child...but I have a set of issues going on with a neighbor's kids.
First, let me say that my spouse and I moved in to this house in a neighborhood specifically to get a bigger yard to provide a buffer between us an neighbors. We have rescue dogs that are nervous and upset by loud noises (high pitched screaming from kids is a particular trigger). They bark and even though they've learned the "quiet" command, they're still shaking and on edge if there are loud noises around the house.
Our house is built in to the side of a hill. There's a large part of our yard in the back that is flat which butts up to some neighboring yards. When it snows the kids from one particular house play in our yard (there are many houses with kids around who play outside who are lovely and cause absolute 0 issues, including yelling loud when they play...it's literally just these three kids from one house). They sled down our hill, tear up the yard, and leave their toys in our yard for days. To be on the hill they have to be right on top of the side of our house, close enough that when they scream (seriously I've never heard kids scream the way these three do) it's as if they're right in our kitchen.
It's important to note that last winter my husband asked the kids personally to stay off of our hill please. They did for the rest of the winter. We saw the parents come out and direct them to where the property line was and to stay on the other side of it. This resulted in the kids playing in another neighbors yard almost primarily (which I feel bad for...she's an older lady who lives alone with mobility issues and I worry that they're bothering her more now). The kids spent all last winter literally playing ON the property line between our yard and the older lady, as close as they could get to our yard without actually being in our yard. They tore up the space between our yard and the lady directly behind us, that come spring no grass grew in that space all year. These kids also race tiny dirt bikes for hours on end around their house, but conveniently never actually in their own yard. They eventually wore a path in the grass that when through 4 other yards that weren't their own.
Our first big snowfall happened last night and the kids were out on our hill again, despite their changes made last winter. We've now gone over to personally ask the parents to have the kids stay off of our lawn. They begrudgingly agreed, but I don't have faith that it's going to actually fix the issue long term, as last year was an example. I am loathe to take this any further up in escalation in the future, but I feel like I'd have to if it continues. That feels not very neighborly of me...but then again so does disrespecting a neighbors wishes regarding their property.
My problem with the kids on the hill is this:
1. It's a liability issue. These kids are violent with each other (I've seen the biggest one whack the largest one in the head with a metal baseball bat...more than once). The parents are very clearly careless with their safety (the parents do nothing to assist the kids when they've been hurt and quite literally shut the door in their kids face while they're crying loudly enough for me to hear it in my house quite a ways away). I am concerned that if there were an issues with the kids getting hurt on our property, we could be sued or asked to pay for it in some way. I do not want to have to inspect my property regularly to make sure it's "kid safe".
2. Our dogs are upset, which is stressful for them. Additionally, I have damaged vestibular nerve which makes loud noises like barking dogs and screaming kids incredibly painful. I understand that these noises happen and don't expect strangers to change behaviors to accommodate me, but we moved to this house for many reasons but the location was a primary attempt at limiting the pain via a buffer between houses. We literally have no issues with the multitudes of other kids or families in the area, even ones that live physically closer to us than these kids.
3. We enjoy the look of a pristine snow fall. This was our first nice one this year...and when I looked out the window it looked like an army had descended on our yard...additionally they leave their toys and sleds behind for days at a time. Sometimes until it thaws and even then don't pick them up.
4. We are going to build a fence for the dogs in the spring so that they can enjoy the yard more (currently they get walked on leashes). I'm concerned that if we do not establish boundaries with the neighbors now, the kids will harass the dogs through the fence or try to pet them, resulting in nipped fingers (again dogs with issues that we take great pains to work with and work around so they can have a good life).
AITA for expecting parents/kids to A) ask for permission to be use someone else's property and B) telling kids to "get off my law"? WIBTA for escalating the situation further if the behavior continues?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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6jrcVKVNlQXhz9Pp0lQxOZaH13yDbI1z | agew1b | {
"description": "telling my brother to shut up because he always sings",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA For telling my brother to shut up because he always sings | So, I always tell my brother to stop singing, since he randomly does it. Whether it be during a movie or anything else, he’s singing some stupid pop song from 2014. He doesn’t even know the words to them! It just annoys the hell out of me and when I tell him to stop, he doesn’t understand that it’s so annoying and I’m bleeding out of my ears.
I’m a music student, have been one for my whole life. I feel like my brother should know that after listening to music and performing all day, he needs to stop. He’s so inconsiderate and he thinks he’s frank sinatra reborn.
So kind people of reddit, who is the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
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F7hOQMlZYRZ3K32E75jfQf6o4ILosTAS | alj0v8 | {
"description": "thinking I got my neighbor deported/put in jail",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA I think I got my neighbor deported/put in jail. | Throwaway because people at work are reddit fiends.
Prologue:
I live at the corner unit of a town home building that has pretty thin walls. Thin enough to sometimes hear a neighbor snoring when he is sleeping in another room, which is not the master bedroom. I soundproofed the whole downstairs, just did not get to the 2nd floor yet. This is how the layout works in our building so atleast the master bedrooms don't share the same wall. Recently got a new neighbor. Guy that is around my age: late 20s or early 30s. Super nice guy that says hello and smiles everyday. He is a pretty good neighbor only had 2 parties in the 3 months he has lived here and he is pretty respectful about ending the party around midnight.
Let's jump in.
Saturday 11:30pm.
Me and my wife are getting back after a night out. Pulling into our street we see around 5-7 German cars parked all around the street. We know already based on the past our boy is having a party. Cool. We love it, as we like to host many parties in the summer ourselves and are pretty cool with a younger neighbor that will not mind us when we turn up the music, ect.
Like always the party ended around 12:15. Respect. I can tell the guests were pretty hammered due to constantly falling on the walls, shutting the door loud as fuck, ect. That's cool. I get it. We stay up till around 2am watching Netflix. I fall asleep.
4AM:
"Wake up, I think I'm going to call the cops." My wife wakes me up with this phrase all of a sudden and I right away think somebody is trying to break in. Not a cool line to wake somebody up with imp. My wife explains to me the neighbor has been yelling at his wife and cursing her out in Russian for the last hour while I was sleeping. (My wife is not Russian but can understand a lot of it, enough to make out he was saying "this is all your fault you suka" , which is bitch is English. She also heard super loud thuds/noises throughout the whole upstairs. (Not sure if stuff is being throw, but what we assumed is aggressive fighting going at it from room to room. My wife described it that is sounded like he dragged her from room to room, she kept on trying to run away.
I start hearing the thuds as well as the yelling and crying. My wife told me she is getting anxiety just listening to this and Def can't sleep at all.
We call the police to do a check up right away. (If nothing dangerous is occurring, it's a simple check up. 3 minutes in we hear the police come by and everything gets quiet.
Then it hits me about 2 weeks ago I specifically placed my Arlo WiFi camera to face my street because a neighbor kept leaving annoying notes on my car about our association's parking which is another story. Right away I turn on live mode. Bam: we got front row seats to this. Grab the popcorn. We see 2 squad cars right in front. It looks like they are just the back up as the cops parked across from each other so they can chat with the windows down. There are more cars due to the lighting in the street and I'm pretty sure there is an ambulance as well because the street is lit up way too well (scene lights, there is always an ambulance dispatched to a domestic violence call) but we can't see anything due to the camera cutting off the view.
A few seconds in we see the girl with her girlfriend and a suitcase leaving the driveway and getting out of the cameras view. Everything gets quiet.
What I thought initially was that maybe he just got too drunk and they will take him in overnight until he sobers up, which is pretty common in domestic calls like that.
The thing is. My neighbor never came back. His car has not moved since Saturday night and is all frozen snowed in. Not a peep from the unit. It's Wed now.
So not sure what really happened could be a couple things.
1. He is a Eastern European dude with a pretty strong accent so we were thinking he might not even have papers. It's a far stretch, but it's pretty common for where we live in the U. S. Among the European population. We are Europeans ourselves.
2. Perhaps police found some drugs after the party I don't know, but I am aware what happens at European parties like that and it's very plausible.
Obviously I don't think I am a complete asshole for calling the cops but there is no way I would stand for domestic abuse at that level and hey if nothing was wrong the gf would deny all accusations and I'm sure the only thing that would happen is he would be locked away for a night to sober up and it would have been just documented.
We are just wondering honestly what happened and I thought I'd share it with the internet. He only has 2 neighbors and obviously one of us called. I don't really care if he finds out that it's me. I will update if I find out anything new.
| HISTORICAL | {
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iZiNO7RoYI19xcDE3CBlBmMHnEo9GQHl | b1mzeq | {
"description": "getting upset with my mom after learning my step brother will be staying with her during a time my kids will be visiting",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset with my mom after learning my step brother will be staying with her during a time my kids will be visiting? | Mom planned a trip for my kids to visit her 6 months ago. They are supposed to fly down in about 3 weeks. Today she messages me that my stepbrother(who I hardly know) will be visiting and his trip with his teenage sons will over lap my kids trip.
She lives in a trailer that is small and only has one guest room.
I told her that I’m uncomfortable with this and would have to know and be okay with the sleeping arrangements in order to protect my daughter.
I told her the reason why is that I had a close friend who’s 8 year old daughter was assaulted in a similar situation. Both her parents were at the house sleeping even when this happened and it affects me and my wife’s comfort with these situations.
She is immediately offended and accuses us of being overprotective ( we probably are on some things). I told her I would call tomorrow and we could discuss it.
Afterwards I found out my wife already mentioned the assault when we were planning the trip and how she was nervous. ( my wife held the poor girl while she relayed what happen to her)
My wife wants to cancel the trip and I’m leaning that way as well. Are we being crazy here? | HISTORICAL | {
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211CpnfRc03DNacjm0jalUqOJS5AsQ4Z | avduw5 | {
"description": "collecting my neighbor's unpicked dog shit and putting in on their car or doorstep",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA if I collect my neighbor's unpicked dog shit and put in on their car or doorstep? | A neighbor got a dog a few months. It's a cute little puppy and it seems the dog is the responsibility of the neighbors son who is about 12-14. I don't know this neighbor, I didn't even know they existed until the dog appeared. Well, recently I noticed piles of dog shit on another neighbor's lawn. Then after a few days it was all be gone and the cycle started again. I don't know who is cleaning it up. It could be the dog owner is picking it up every couple days or it could be the home owner is. I don't even know if the home owner minds. For some reason, this is driving me crazy. I walk my dog past the poop lawn every day and my dog likes to pee in this area. I don't want my neighbors to think this is my dog's shit. I almost (more on that later) always pick up after my dog.
​
So here is where I need you help: My dog is a super good boy but for some reason he will not go to the bathroom in our small backyard. I live in a place with an HOA and there are common grounds throughout our neighborhood (in fact the front lawn where the neighbor's dog is shitting is technically common ground but we all treat our front lawns as our own). Sometimes as night I will let my dog out and he will run to a common area that no one ever goes to and shit. He usually does it in the woods so it's not a big deal but I'm sure he has also done it in the common space. Usually it will just get mowed up by the landscapers. I go into this common area quiet often and have never seen anyone else in there and have only seen my dog's shit once or twice and I pick it up when do.
​
Am I an asshole hypocrite if I take vengeance? Is my indignation righteous? I feel the circumstances are different because they are letting their dog shit in space that everyone sees near their neighbor's house. Also, they are walking their dog when it happens. They are right there, just pick it up. I used to pick it for them just so I didn't have to deal with HOA blow back but I got sick of that real fast.
​
I should note that I haven't spoken to the perpetrators yet because I am petty, passive aggressive and possible a coward. | HISTORICAL | {
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5e3tLe2LpbpApIHpnt0oRbanq0ObZfLy | al5w5d | {
"description": "complaining to my boyfriend about schoolwork, although he has actual work to deal with",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for complaining to my boyfriend about schoolwork, although he has actual work to deal with? | I go to university and my boyfriend works full time at a rather stressful job IT, computers stuff, deadlines).
I get that his work is mentaly draining and can be quite annoying and exausting, especialy when deadlines are nearing.
The problem I have is that if I complain about having to write term papers (which I hate) or having an exam coming up or anything in that direction (just in a general "I'm not enjohing this but I'm still going to do it on time because I know it's right" sort of way) he goes on to say something along the lines "If you're complaining, what should I be doing?" and goes on about how stressful his work is (which I know, and often try to cheer him up and encourage him and so on when he complains about something work related).
I have no problems with my schoolwork, most of my classes aren't really demanding and I usually pass with a good grade, but I still dislike certain aspects of the work (namely writing term papers and taking exams) and sometimes complain about that...
I guess I'm just wondering AITA for whining about something when I know he has it worse? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tcnmeFG6qqkXyo15fWeVamfMjZOP8Ctc | aqtvx6 | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend my frustrations",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told my girlfriend my frustrations? | Hi everyone,
​
Second time posting here. Sorry if this gets long.
​
I've been in a relationship with this girl for 10 months. Throughout this relationship we have grown very strong as a couple. We love each other very much and have admitted that we are each some of each other's best friends without a doubt.
​
We both attend a rigorous engineering university which requires us to study long hours throughout the week. My workload is much lighter than hers at the moment, due to the fact I'm trying to bounce back from a rough semester. Her schedule makes her busy and recently it's been difficult for us to find time to hang out together. It's left me frustrated, because I really love and care to see her.
​
The last time I saw her (which was yesterday) was for only thirty minutes at a restaurant in our university, and while it was enjoyable for the both of us, she was trying to study and told me she needed to go to a study room to focus on a couple of tests she had later that week. I assume the loud atmosphere and myself was probably distracting her.
​
Cue to Valentine's Day, the day this post was written. I have no classes today, and she told me that she would be able to spend some time with me. We discussed and agreed to do it in the evening after she was done studying for her exams. I went to get some flowers for her and got ready. She continuously studied from mid afternoon to 11 at night. At 10:30, after waiting around for a while, I got fed up and texted her, saying: "*Hey look, it's getting late. Although I really want to see you, I hate to say that maybe we should do this later*." She responded basically by saying that she is sorry and was caught up in her studying; a few minutes later she texted again saying that she needed sleep and would be going home instead (we've only slept together on special occasions, and tonight simply wouldn't have worked). I complied with her and understood her frustrations. She said she wanted to hang out with me but just needed some sleep. None of us escalated the situation and kind of left it at a standstill.
​
So I was (and still am) a little bit upset that nothing came out of this evening. We have established that school is a priority in our relationship and it still should be, but I still feel kind of upset about this whole ordeal. To make matters worse, this weekend (which happens to be a 4 day weekend due to President's Day in the US), she's traveling across the state with a few of her friends in an impromptu road trip.
​
I suppose my frustration comes out from what happened above: we have not been able to get together a lot recently, we were unable to spend Valentine's Day together, and now she leaves with her friends for a road trip. We generally don't hang out on weekdays so I probably won't see her until next weekend.
​
So do I have a right to be frustrated despite me understanding that we both attend a vigorous university? Should I just let it go? And, most importantly, would it be asshole-ish to explain to her why I've been frustrated recently? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SsARZkAumYwfHVIUKH2qQxBn1rDhnsfz | ay4yuh | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend of 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend of 2 years? | Last night I broke it off with my girlfriend of two years.
Last week, she told me that she wanted us to “chill out” because she needed her independence and needed to work on her anxiety. I interpreted this as her suggesting we break up, which she didn’t deny - she simply said she was uncertain.
My girlfriend and I put 100% into this relationship. We had good chemistry, we were making progress, and we had really high highs.
With those high-highs came really low points. Her uncertainty is a regular thing, coming around any time she is anxious or insecure. She talks to me about it everytime, and I try to see past it, but I have become increasingly conscious of what I do and what I say, so I don’t cause another one of those situations.
That has worn me out over the past two years. I had told her about this months ago, and everytime she tells me she’s uncertain, I tell her that it may be best if we do take some time apart. I haven’t actively talked about my feelings the last few months, in fear of sending her off into a tailspin.
Last night, after thinking about it for a few days, I sat her down and told her that I honestly thought it would be a good idea for us to break up. She was shocked, said it came out of nowhere.
The issue here is that she’s staying at my house for two weeks while she does placement for her course. It had been organised for a month. She otherwise lives an hour and a half away, making it difficult for her to get to placement from her own house.
Breaking it off last night meant that she has nowhere to stay. I offered for her to stay until placement is done, but she understandably said she would be better off at home.
What this means for her course in general, I don’t know. I feel guilty about it, as she may have to cancel her placement and try to do it somewhere else.
In addition, a lot of people will say that you don’t need any specific reason to break up, but I have two questions anyway:
AITA for breaking it off without giving it one more shot and telling her that I was feeling that way?
AITA for breaking it off in the middle of her placement?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BV0ZPNkhpIe50VcQxKyS8HxCoVU8eXMU | b2evgm | {
"description": "getting my boss fired for nepotism",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I got my boss fired for nepotism? | I've worked in a fairly popular chain restaurant for the past 3 years. I'm a shift manager and mostly enjoy my job, but my boss (GM) has been really difficult lately. Thing is, GM has been pretty cool in the past and accommodates my school schedule since I'm in college, and I'm very thankful for this. I've become sort of close with her and even got her husband a job with my dad's company. However, things have gotten difficult lately because GM has hired her husband and made him a manager, her two children, her niece, her son's girlfriend, GM's best friend (who then became the Assistant Manager), the friend's daughter, and a few of GM's daughter's friends. They all work on the same shifts, too. This is illegal, right? Plus, GM has been taking HUGE advantage of her position. I could go on and on, but here are some highlights:
\-GM's family and friends get very obviously special treatment. For example, GM's daughter and her friends will show up literally hours late, but GM will clock them in so it looks like they were there on time and get paid for it.
\-GM and Assistant Manager clocked in last week, left to get their nails done on the clock, and lied about it. GM actually regularly leaves for hours while clocked in, and I tried to call her on it once, but she said, "I'm the boss, I can do that." Her husband and Assistant do this frequently, too.
\-GM demoted a manager in training because GM heard that she disagreed with so much of our staff being GM's friends and family. Everyone who isn't friends or family complains about this, though, not just the one person. Also, we aren't, like, sworn into some weird loyalty oath and I don't think the trainee deserved to be demoted for disagreeing with the GM. Punishing someone for this seems manipulative and power-hungry.
​
This has all come to a head now that GM heard from Assistant Manager's kid that I said something pretty serious that I really didn't, and GM is now starting rumors about me like it's middle school, calling me messy and fake and "warning" people about me. I've known her to do this with other employees too based on gossip, and it's caused huge problems and caused multiple people to quit. She hasn't confronted me about it, but she's apparently telling people that she's trying to get rid of me. She's actually threatening to fire MULTIPLE people for complaining about the friends and family staff. One of us is already gone. We're just trying to work, and I feel like we're being punished for making legitimate complaints.
​
Everything in me is telling me to contact our higher-ups, but since, like, five people who work with me live with GM and some are underage, I'm worried that if GM loses her job, they'll suffer too.
​
So... WIBTA is I called someone about this? Is it necessary for me to be an asshole, or should I just suck it up since I'm looking for a new job anyway?
​
​ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uB39AXf2PdRYXuQXwryFcXNiOIm47sWO | am7pwn | {
"description": "getting mad with my boyfriend for farting on my things",
"pronormative_score": 46,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad with my boyfriend for farting on my things? | Serious responses only please.
So my boyfriend and I have been dating 4 years now. We're living together now, and this has been a problem for about 6 months and I'm finally at my fucking breaking point. My boyfriend thinks it's really funny to fart on my stuff. I'm not talking about being near something already and just happening to fart on it, I'm talking about when he stands up off the couch, walks over to my shoes or my coat, and deliberately farts on them. He's even tracked down and farted on my CAT, who was struggling to get away from him the entire time.
I've told him to stop and he doesn't. I think he takes my protests as a joke, since I don't really make a big deal out of it and just tell him to stop. But now I'm fucking losing it. Yesterday he stood up from where we were cuddling on the couch, walked into the kitchen and picked up my cat, then jammed her up under his ass and started farting on her. I yelled at him to stop and he got really offended that I was "sharp" with him. We fought and he eventually accused me of being mad that he's "being a human with a bodily function". I told him that I'm not mad about the farting, I'm mad about how he will deliberately fart on my stuff!
He slept on the couch last night and wouldn't talk to me this morning. I'm at work now and I want to make sure that I'm not just being a crazy bitch over a 22 year old dude making fart jokes.
Tldr: Boyfriend goes out of his way to stick his ass into my stuff and fart on them, including my cat. I lost my temper and yelled, and he's accusing me of not respect that he's a human. Am I the asshole for getting mad about his "fart jokes"? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 45,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 46,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
96N933PWmUC69RpE5apZCoU5952FPtZR | ajt6t1 | {
"description": "criticizing my girlfriend for being disrespectful to a guy advertising a church group",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for criticizing my girlfriend for being disrespectful to a guy advertising a church group? | Me and my GF were sitting in some chairs when a man approaches us and asks if we were interested in coming to a discussion group before asking if we wanted to join his group at church. I told him i wasn't religious and when he turned to her, she said "I'm gay." (She is pan). The man responded "we take everyone" before leaving us.
I turned to her and asked her if why she had to be so rude about it and assume the guy hated homosexuality. She responded that she needed to be ready for anything and she's met a lot of Christians who aren't ok with lgbt stuff. I know there are those people who advocate against homosexuality but I imagine most Christians (especially younger generations like the man that approached us) are fine with that kind of thing. I also think it's an asshole move to assume ill intent in someone, even if you think they hate you.
Let me know if I'm the asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
eOp1GwgjLvv4Fc4ZErgWQKui6LnAUG2U | avi0st | {
"description": "leaving my testing group",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my testing group | So I’m in band and we have chunks of music that we are tested on every now and then to make sure we know the music. The band director told us to split up into groups and we would test on certain days before or after school. We were supposed to be on Thursday morning.
Come today and during class, my band director informs us that we could test during class so that we don’t have to test before or after school. So I talk to my group and four out of six of us say that we want to go. One person wasn’t at school. So one girl (calling her girl A) didn’t want to go but everyone else did. We never really decided on whether to test or not so when the band director asked who wanted to go, I raised my hand to ask if we could go but when I looked at them, they were saying “no” I continued to raise my hand so that I could ask if I could go alone.
As soon as soon as he said no, I dropped my hand and instead asked if I could join another group. Enough people wanted to go who were held back by their groups that the director just began to pick people. So I went today instead of waiting behind because one person did not want to go.
Now girl A is upset with me.
Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wM5wBm7VprXoXXixvSaa7cPgVFZDrWBV | apkr04 | {
"description": "calling out a customer when she dumped her basket of groceries in a freezer bin",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling out a customer when she dumped her basket of groceries in a freezer bin? | I manage a Grocery store. On Saturday I was working down the frozen food aisle when I noticed a customer just dumping some of her groceries in one of the freezer doors. I’d like to add that NONE of those items were frozen food items, they were mainly perishable items, cheese, meat and produce.
After she started to walk away, I went over and gathered them all up, I walked past her and said “don’t worry, I got it”
As I walked away, I guess she realized she was caught and yelled “cuz that’s your fucking job”
I told her it wasn’t my job to follow her around the store and clean up her mess. She kept yelling at me as I walked away. She also called head office on me and complained. So, WITA so calling her out?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lAix9DEqDR22jfoLc8FaFUlhCAk2P9YX | alwd3b | {
"description": "not paying for snow chains",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not paying for snow chains? | I'm part of a ski club at my university, and this weekend the club is going on a ski trip. During our carpool meeting last night I found a ride with some other members of the club who were offering a ride. I offered that we all split the gas cost for the round-trip, as per usual. What I didn't know is that driver doesn't have a 4WD vehicle or snow chains.
Today he requested that we split the cost for the chains among us ($20/person for the $100 chains). I responded by saying that I don't really see why we have to all pay for this chains that he is going to end up keeping for his car at the end of the day. During the carpool meeting last night, the board members even reminded everyone that if you offer a ride you need to have 4WD/AWD or chains for your vehicle, so I assumed that the driver already had a suitable car. Being a poor college kid I already had trouble scrapping up money for the trip, so I only offered him $10 which he got pissy about.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DRiijzP06dhVT7xdgJomODNEE58p1vx9 | ayaeab | {
"description": "making a snide comeback to my friend in the group chat when he said, \"wow of course you're the first one to reply.\"",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making a snide comeback to my friend in the group chat when he said, “wow of course you’re the first one to reply.” | He was joking, I know him, but it’s still a true joke. I am usually the one to reply because everyone else is sleeping at this time at they sometimes don’t even respond. They have admitted I keep the chat alive too LOL. But when he said “wow of course you’re the first one to reply” it made me feel like he thought I had nothing better to do. Soooo my ‘snide’ comment was, “Can’t work and message lyk meh??! Jkjk.” Weird spelling because that’s what we do when we want to let others know we aren’t being too serious.
Anyway! I feel like I need to take some steps back. My friends make jokes towards me but maybe I shouldn’t have to fight back every single time. Me fighting back is new, but it’s proving to hurt their feelings. Not sure how to feel. AITA? Should I let my friends say things to me that hurt my feelings? They’ll probably start saying I’m too sensitive if I ask them to take it down a notch. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
o9WolUUGeDEn29YQ9mae8xDalQjpxPqh | aqhp3u | {
"description": "calling my husband a stupid piece of shit",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 161
} | AITA For calling my husband a stupid piece of shit? | A little background, I was swamped with tons of work today and asked my husband if he would be able to clean our gecko’s cage as she had pooed today. He proceeded to do so and an hour later I decide to take a break and lay down on our bed. Only I can’t nap because of a REALLY STRONG smell of shit. So I look over and there’s a pile of my freshly washed intimates that he’d thrown on the bed to sort later. I think “holy crap, did I leave skid marks or something on these??” I go to sort threw it but stop when I realized what it was. He’d grabbed the cage liner and left it on my clean underwear and a pillow. I’m horrified and ask him why there’s gecko poop on our bed. He can’t answer me, just apologizes and grabs the liner and throws it away in our trash bin. As a germaphobe, I just sit there shellshocked. He comes back and starts putting the underwear up in my drawer and I scream at him because:
1) He didn’t wash his hands after he touched the big fat poop.
2) Now the rest of my underwear has gecko poop essence on it.
3) Gecko is in quarantine until she’s clear of Giardia. So it’s not even a solid #2
After I yell at him, I grab everything off the bed and from my drawer and throw it in the washer. He’s now in the other room acting hurt. I can’t understand why a rational person would just nonchalantly throw poop on their bed. On the pillow they put their face on. The underwear that cover’s their wife’s goods. He doesn’t go to school and he hasn’t had to go to work in 5 days. Meanwhile I’m here doing 16 hours at school and working 2 part time jobs to support us. I just don’t understand how someone can be so non-functional. I’m trying to formulate an apology but I honestly can’t because I’m so disgusted I want to cry. It was really big and messy poop that had soaked through the liner.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 101,
"OTHER": 54,
"EVERYBODY": 60,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 60,
"WRONG": 161
} | WRONG |
tLKqrWPjhybv5f0hJukYs01kgYGKx0Ne | b51p9c | {
"description": "being upset about a \"prank\" my girlfriend pulled on me",
"pronormative_score": 392,
"contranormative_score": 66
} | AITA for being upset about a "prank" my girlfriend pulled on me? | This past Friday, my girlfriend and I had a small get together at our apartment where I proceeded to get very drunk. I'm not a very experienced drinker. My girlfriend put me to bed early in the night. The next morning, I wake up very hungover and thirsty. I see that there is a water bottle on my night stand with a sticky note that says "water" on it. I thought this was weird at the time, because what else would it be? Very thankful that I didn't have to get up to get water, I proceed to chug the "water" only to quickly realize that it was actually vodka and then vomit all over our bed. At that point, my girlfriend woke up and was very angry at me.
I felt very bad, I didn't realize at the time that my girlfriend had left the bottle there, so I got up and cleaned everything up even though I felt like dog shit. She denied putting the "water" there so I just thought one of our friends did it. It was a shitty thing to do, but I got over it until later that day one of the people there that night tagged me in an Instagram video of my girlfriend basically setting up the prank. It shows her pouring vodka into a water bottle and saying how funny it's going to be while her friend filming it is telling her she's being a dick and she just laughs and says "hair of the dog" then howls.
I confronted my girlfriend about this and she thinks the video is hilarious and sees no problem with it. I told her if she really didn't remember doing this, then she has a drinking problem. It was a very cruel thing to do. She said I was overreacting and being sensitive. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 36,
"OTHER": 326,
"EVERYBODY": 30,
"NOBODY": 66,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 392,
"WRONG": 66
} | RIGHT |
cM4YdDEbiBwRkKUdkQMScH8dBBEAh03j | 9tgt48 | {
"description": "being a bitch to a girl who friend zoned my best friend and stole the boyfriend of another friend? tldr in the end",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being a bitch to a girl who friend zoned my best friend and stole the boyfriend of another friend? Tldr in the end | So basically this girl was really keeping my best friend (lets call him SK) on the fence. She was from Columbia and came her for her PhD. My best friend started spending all day with her, he drove her around since she didn't have car, he would always buy her drink, she crashed his car and he had to fix it and all that jazz that comes along with being lord friend zone. Everyone thought that they were dating because they were always together but I knew my buddy wasn't hitting that.
Then turns out this señorita (initials GB) has at least 5 or 6 other guys on the hook and apparently they were all friend zoned, but less than my friend. SK was fine with this arrangement because he knew he was the main guy and she will eventually end up with him. I knew that she was using all these guys and I didn't like her and I made it clear to her that I didn't like her and that she's not fooling me.
So one day another friend of mine (KA) throws a party and we are all there. KA is dating a guy (JJ). Apparently in that party GB and JJ start talking and hit it off. No one knew what was going for atleast a couple of weeks, except that we were seeing alot more of SK since he wasn't with GB all the time. And KA had started seeing another guy (she didn't like JJ and she isn't a serious relationship type anyways and JJ is super Christian).
So after a couple of weeks we all find out that GB and JJ are dating through a Facebook post, it was literally a relationship status change and everyone is like we thought she was SK's girlfriend. Apparently not. And SK was like whatever, we were just friends, I didn't like her. I personally found it to be hilarious.
Now GB and JJ are just a running joke in my friends circle because no one likes them. And it's quite evident that GB is also using JJ to get a green card because they were married in 6 months flat. And once I posted a picture of SK in a restaurant with GB and JJ in the background sitting on another table with the caption "SK's long lost love" or some bullshit like that on Instagram and GB found out that we make fun of her like this and got mad at me. I don't care and she can go fuck herself.
I find it hard to be nice to a lying using bitch like GB, nobody is perfect but I really hate it when girls use other people, mostly because I have been used by girls too and bullshit radar is fine tuned. But right now I'm trying to deal with my emotions and behaviors to be a better person. So if someone wants to tell me something about myself after reading this, please feel free to do so. I have behaviors that I'm trying to fix.
Tl;dr: girl uses guys, marries christian guy for green card, Christian guy dating another friend before, i be bitch and post on the gram, i be good, am asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
irWfaEh3ZlQV50T6sNOfLdOzpzhOnwlv | amtxqc | {
"description": "not buying alcohol for my \"friends?\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not buying alcohol for my "friends?" | Back Story:
I [21] arrived at orientation at party college and being the only person of age, I supplied the alcohol for my college friends. When college started, these people stopped being friends and hanging out with me once they joined a fraternity or sorority. I then decided that I would only buy alc for friends that are true friends, ones that don't take advantage of me.
Story:
At the beginning of the school year, I told Sarah [19] about the story at orientation, of how people only texted me or hung out with me when they wanted alcohol. As the school year went on we partied together and quite honestly, it was horrible for me. I have never had a pleasant experience drinking with Sarah because she would actually start being mean to me and even insulted me on what kind of underwear I wore.
**From a 3rd person perspective of someone sober, that was at the party:** He noticed that Sarah was being mean to me, like when I was insulted over just my underwear, and looked at me in the eye whenever I would take an insult.
The other night Sarah texted me to buy alcohol for her on Friday around 9 pm, I said
"lemme finish up some homework first" she replied,
"It'll only take 5 minutes!!" and "it's not like I'm not asking you to stop doing your hw."
That is when I just couldn't hold it back anymore and texted:
"I kinda feel used... I'm all for buying you the alc but it seems that I only get a text when alc is needed"
Sarah then replied:
"Thanks for being a real one🙄" and "I see where our friendship stands👍🏼"
Fast forward one day later:
Sarah in person: "Just to let you know, we are no longer friends."
Me: "Oh... because I didn't buy you alcohol?"
Sarah: "Yes."
**AITA** for not buying alcohol for my "friend" which resulted in ending our friendship? Did I respond badly? Could I have replied better? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YQzSARrVvJeQP8LLyOBq1OIRkXYgfiJm | b4dqry | {
"description": "responding the way I did to discovering my stepson browses hate websites",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for responding the way I did to discovering my stepson browses hate websites? | To make things short my stepson was out and he left his laptop wide open on his bed. I was taking in his laundry and couldn't help but notice a certain image out of the corner of my eye, so I took a glance and a glance turned into more once I saw what it was. Basically it was this forum full of photos making fun of the recent attack, people insulting muslims and hateful crap in general. I was absolutely horrified and I immediately phoned him and demanded he return home right now. I took the laptop and put it up in my office, then had him come in and proceed to show him everything I had seen and asked him what it was about. He was immediately indignant and refused to address anything I asked of him, telling me he didn't post what I saw and had nothing to do with it at all. It became very heated and he ended up storming out of the house.
He may not be my biological son but I have raised him for many years and this is not the path me or his mother want him to take. I proceeded to pack up most of things (consoles, games etc.) and waited for him to return. When he did I told him that he had two options, I could either sell all these things and donate it to charity dedicated towards ending this sort of shit, or he could come with me and offer to volunteer helping out the local muslim community. I thought these were both fair choices, and my wife and I agreed this was the best course of action to help him learn. Instead when he finally arrived home later than night and saw all his things missing and listened to what we had to say to him he proceeded to go ballistic and shout at the both of us. He said a lot of hateful things towards the both of us, ending up in calling his own mother a "cuck". At that point I found it hard to restrain myself and told him to get out and stay out until he agreed to either option and learnt some respect for the both of us.
He's seventeen years old, so legally speaking he's not in any trouble not being at home, and he has plenty of friends he can couch crash with (although I did call their parents to let them know about the situation). That said I am rather worried they might just be helping radicalise him to begin with.
It has been two days and we still haven't heard from him personally, although from what I hear he is staying with friends and safe. Now that the dust has settled, I wonder if I was out of line. I didn't expect him to stay gone for so long and I didn't intend to create a cruel punishment, just a learning experience. My wife and family are backing me up completely here but I wonder, AITA and did I go too far? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
a9uW3lIV8AHyTNZ3eyFF6ZKBksh45vJl | acbm4e | {
"description": "thinking a cashier (and company employing cashier) rejecting excessive change being used in the transaction is actually the victim and not the stupid customer who got super pissed and wrote to the papers",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for thinking a cashier (and company employing cashier) rejecting excessive change being used in the transaction is actually the victim and not the stupid customer who got super pissed and wrote to the papers? | Here's some context:
In Australia, the Reserve Bank has set limits on how much you can use a particular coin. I.e., there is a $5 limit on using 5c, 10c, 20c and 50c coins, a $10 limit on $1 coins and a $20 limit on $2 coins. This is not a WELL known law, but it is a law and often, cashiers refuse payment. There's a video that gets reshared every 6 months or so of a guy trying to pay $100+ in fines with 5c and 10c pieces and gets super shitty when it's rejected. He videoed it, shared it, and then got heaps of support.
Heres the link to the article: https://tendaily.com.au/news/australia/a190103snv/outrage-after-shop-refuses-mum-paying-10-in-50-cent-coins-20190103?utm_content=tnq-facebook&utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook
TL;DR of article, lady takes $10 in 50c coins to a shop, gets told she cant use it, goes home to get correct tender, goes back to shop to finish transaction, goes home and complains to company on FB and was told the same thing, and is now sharing her story to shame the company.
I got into an argument with some people who thought that the cashier and company were in the wrong and that they should have accepted the coins, regardless of what legal tender laws there are. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
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