id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
l6D8tIRTVm5Grhh1Xaz1b5TCwiFG0K6k | 9uz3o1 | {
"description": "kissing and having strong feelings for my best friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for kissing and having strong feelings for my best friend's ex? | Okay, so this is very long and I completely understand not wanting to read the whole thing. The only reason I'm making this post is because the situation is so complicated. I've also seen many posts on this subreddit where it seems like people are deliberately skewing the story in their favor, and while I'm obviously biased, I'm going to try and explain the entire situation.
I became friends with John a few years ago, after meeting from a mutual friend. We hit it off and clicked pretty well, with a shared interest in comics, board games, and outdoorsy adventure stuff. As the friendship progressed, he became the main person I could tell my shit to. And there was a fair amount of shit - I've dealt with various amounts of anxiety and depression my whole life. I've always felt uncomfortable or anxious around others, even John, and whenever these feelings of anxiety got bad, I'd get more depressed. It was a pretty vicious cycle.
The main downside to this was I've never been able to interact with girls very well. Now, I like to think I'm not the stereotypical anxious male that can't speak to girls. I've had plenty of female friends, but they just rarely developed romantically. Him on the other hand, is a different story.
He's had this girlfriend for a few years, we'll call her Sarah. I didn't start getting to know her until earlier this year, but I'll get to that in a bit. After them dating for about a year and a half, he pressured her into an open relationship. Being in a relationship made him feel constrained, and he started hooking up with lots of girls, even having sex with a few of them. She was never really okay with this, and he knew how sad all this made her, but she always said it was okay because she had a pretty big reliance on him at this point. (She lives about an hour away from us in the middle of nowhere, and the only friends available to her aren’t the best, putting it nicely.) I started to become the person she could talk to about all this - regularly at parties me and her would end up alone together while he would be off hooking up with some girl. (I've asked her recently if she was ever okay with, or ever wanted this open relationship and she said no - he told her he'd break up with her if she wasn't okay with it. He'd always told me she wanted it as much as he did.)
A few months ago, I was really into this girl me and John had just become friends with. I got on really well with her, and thought she liked me too. I was wrong on that one, because as it turns out she liked John. Me and him talked about my feelings for her, but he ended up kissing her anyway. A lot. He didn't even really like her, she was just there and wanted to kiss him, so he did. He told me the next day and even though I was obviously annoyed, I forgave him, and we moved on.
John broke up with Sarah a few months ago. Me and him both started college this year (different colleges), and I think this combined with him finally realizing how sad he made her a lot cause him to end it. She was sad but got over it okay. Me and Sarah started talking a lot more after the break up. He stayed friends with her, and continuously asked her to be "fuck buddies" with him, and even got upset when she said no. He's currently seeing two girls, neither seriously, and this has been making Sarah pretty sad. Despite how sad he made her, they'd been best friends and in a relationship for three years, after all. Everything came to a head a few weeks ago at his Halloween party - me and her were both feeling like shit, and we both drank a lot. But this isn't when we kissed. We just sat on a couch away from the party, hugged a little and spent some time talking to each other. We were closer than friends, but nothing else happened that night. He saw us sitting close anyway, but he seemed okay about it. We talked, and everything seemed normal.
She talked to him a few nights later, and he asked her if we kissed. She of course said no, and when she told me this, I told her that I had been thinking about kissing her. And she told me she'd been thinking about it too. This was a pretty big deal for me. As stressful and confusing as this situation was, I was slightly happy that someone felt the same for me as I was feeling for them. We talked for a while that night, sorting out our feelings and we came to the same conclusion – being close to each other was good and made us both feel comfortable and happy. We had a connection.
We met up again a few days later, just to go for a walk and talk during one of my college lunch breaks, and we stood under a tree while it rained and hugged. Again, nothing more happened. We both just wanted to feel comfortable. However, I felt terrible after this. I felt like I was completely betraying my best friend. I told her that night that we couldn't do anything anymore, that we had to stop. She was very sad after I said this. She didn't reply to me for hours, finally saying that it’s terrible the one thing that makes us both happy we can't do. Yeah. I agreed.
Another few days later, and we've still been messaging nearly all the time. We missed each other. She tells me she's been talking to John a lot more recently, and he brought up the idea of her and I going out. We still hadn't told him anything at this point, so he brought this up on his own. She said she'd really like it, and he told her he'd be okay with it, even if though it would make him really sad. Apparently (I only found this out after me and her kissed) he flipped back and forth on this opinion a lot.
Two nights ago, I was particularly stressed and overwhelmed, and I switched my phone completely off and slept in way too late the next day. A few minutes after I woke up the next afternoon, there's a knock on my door and she shows up. We had plans to meet up with John and a group of our friends later that day, but she decided to come to me early. I'd literally just woken up minutes ago so after we talked for a bit I had a shower. After this we hugged and cuddled some more and this led to kissing. I don't want to be misinterpreted here - I'm not claiming "one thing led to another and it just happened". It didn't. We both willingly made the decision to do this, both of us thinking while John wouldn't exactly be happy about it, it would be okay. It'd make things hard, for sure, but we decided to prioritize our own happiness. We spent a lot of time together that day, and while it didn't ever go further than kissing, we did lose some items of clothing along the way. We were close. It was intimate.
We saw him later that day along with the big group of friends and I felt guilty - but also happy. I was with someone who cared about me as much as I cared about them. I was in a pretty good mood. I was going to tell him that night but Sarah asked me to wait. She told me we needed to decide what to say and we shouldn't do it that night cause it'll be a shit end to an great day. Terrible logic, I know, but I went with it. I told her the next morning how important it was for me to be the one to tell him - I felt like I needed to because I owed it to him. Like he'd do the same for me. She said she understood but proceeded to tell him herself. Alright, whatever. I thought it would be a manageable situation.
Boy, was I wrong.
He immediately blocked me on all social medias, so I sent him a text trying to explain, saying I was sorry and most of all saying we should talk about the whole situation. I didn't get a response. She did, however. He said all sorts of things to her, including "I'm never speaking to either of you again" and "I've lost both you" and "You've ruined everything". Neither of us heard from him for a few days after that, and he still hasn't talked to me. To be clear, I'm not trying to hide from what we did. We’re both taking responsibility for it. We shouldn't have done what we did, at least not without talking to him first. I understand that, and we made a mistake. But I also feel like he's handling this really badly, considering the amount of things he has done to us and we have forgiven and talked to him about.
Just after I finished typing all this, she messaged me saying she spoke to him last night. He said a lot of mean things to her, made her feel really guilty, and eventually gave her an ultimatum - he'll consider being friends with us again if me and her never see each other again in any way if he's not there. I had a few comments to say about this, but generally they were as follows:
He should also talk to me about this. He's blocked me everywhere and my texts went unanswered so I feel like it's now on him to talk to me. He should communicate with me as well as her. I told her I'm not even going to consider being friends with him again until he contacts me. I'm not trying again.
He simply can't ban two people from seeing each other. Yes, he can decide not to be friends with us and that's his choice, but this seems very Emily from *Friends* to me. It feels like a cheap sitcom plot and honestly it seems childish.
And finally, I told her that I was angry at him now too. Up until now, I was just feeling bad about what we did and was worried I'd lost my best friend because of a stupid mistake. But now, with the way he's handled this and the things I've found out about the way he treated his relationship with her, I'm angry at him. I forgot to mention earlier, but when she brought up the fact he said he was okay with a potential relationship between me and her, he told her it makes it so much worse what we did because we knew it would make us sad. I thought this was a really stupid way to think about the whole situation, but I digress. Me and her are both still talking to each other, and still have a strong connection and feelings for each other.
So that's everything. Thanks to anyone who reads the whole thing. AITA, | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
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XuTt0kzuCr0KKdMZuhB4FDXe3bWfSf4h | agyo1j | {
"description": "quitting over office music",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I quit over office music? | WIBTA if I quit my job?
I've recently started a new job. The job is interesting, the location is great, the working hours are good, the pay is OK (not great, but OK), there has been a little issue with lack of training/ work being piled on me but my main issue is with the office music....fairly hardcore niche dance music. Like proper Ibiza beach stuff - example: take Tracey Chapmans song Fast Car, speed it up so it sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks singing it and add a "unch unch unch unch unch unch" beat to it.
Side note: this music is played through YouTube playlists from one particular staff members computer.
I'm the oldest in the office (35 and female - not that gender makes much of a difference here) and the others are early-mid 20 females. I'm the first to admit that my musical taste is very specific and niche as I prefer music such as The Smiths, The Cure, Joy Divison, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds etc. I fully understand that I'm in the minority when it comes to musical taste and so have never - and will never - demand that my kind of music is played in the office. In fact, I absolutely dread being asked what kind of music I'm into as it almost always ends in a very awkward conversation with me naming bands they haven't heard of (and coming across as pretentious) and being forced to let them know I don't like the music they like (coming across as offensive).
Anyway, I've tried to suggest a mixed playlist such as 90s or 80s music so there is a mix of music genres and it's only when I've really insisted on a change of music that we get a few 90s/80s hits but as soon as I leave the office to run an errand the music is changed back to dance tracks and it remains that way for the rest of the day.
To me, the dance music is not office music. It is a very specific music taste and not something everyone enjoys and I think it is very unfair to force such a niche music genre on everyone all day long, day after day. Sometimes I will hear the same dance song 4-5 times in one day.
I've expressed my opinion on the music on many occasions and explained my reasonings as much as I can without it being too awkward (and considering I'm the new woman in an already established office set up) and I don't feel I can mention it anymore than I have already. However, it is also preventing me from being able to carry out my duties and it winds me up so much that I just can't concentrate on anything I'm doing.
I am very seriously considering quitting the job because of this. It is having a big impact on me actually learning the job and I just can't continue to work in that environment.
N.B I have considered requesting to wear headphones but I'm the main phone-answerer so it isn't feasible.
Am I over-reacting? I am genuinely torn with this and welcome advice. If anyone needs to know further information please ask and I will give my answers honestly.
Thanks for reading you lovely Redditors! | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 4,
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WItHyMfNQn1Tj1Gk7d8iuOzHD6jTUk8b | 9ylqhd | null | AITA - Didn't send a guy a picture of myself | This might be a little confusing, so let me try to make it as clear as possible.
I'm married, but I've lost a lot of really close friends lately. My husband often encourages me to find new friends somehow, because I'm really lonely when he's at work and my friend (who's like a brother) has been really busy lately.
I'll post on different subs looking for new friends, one of them being r/snapchat. Girls almost never reply to me, so I take what I can get. If a guy adds me, I'll accept and make it very clear what the boundaries are. They get blocked once things get weird. I'm also very shy and insecure, but let's move on.
Anyway, some guy just added me and told me to send him a picture of myself. I've run into this before and just do what I always do. Explain that I post pictures of myself to my story at times, but I'm not comfortable sending pictures to someone I very literally just met. Like never got past hi, hello, how are you.
I guess he got upset? Cause he told me not to post in r/snapchat if I didn't want to send pictures of myself to other people. Am I the asshole for not doing that? I just wasn't comfortable with it and I've never had this problem before. Should I have just gotten over it and sent a picture anyway? | HISTORICAL | {
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v2deJV9S3sdtBPZ5uilVvXr9Iu9wPtGa | b37x5f | {
"description": "wanting my hotel stay refunded",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I wanted my hotel stay refunded? | I travel a lot for school and today I happened to come down with the flu suddenly. I had to leave class early and just wanted to get back to my hotel and crash out.
I checked in with no issues, got to my room and after setting my stuff down I hear someone trying to slide their card in my door. I kind of pause to see if it’s actually my door or my neighbors. By the time I get to the peephole they’re gone, I figure someone was at the wrong room, no biggie.
So I’m running a temp and take all my clothes off 5 minutes later to soak in the bath. Imagine my surprise when I hear someone try their card again- and it works! Yep. This random man is now standing in my hotel room like a deer in headlights and I’m so conveniently in my bra and underwear. The guy apologized, said this was the room they gave him to and goes downstairs. I call the front desk to let them know too and they were super casual about it, “whoops double booked that room sorry about that!”
And while I get it, mistakes happen, now I’m paranoid it’ll happen again and can’t sleep.
So then I go to the vending machine for water (wrapped in a blanket looking like hell) and when I get back- locked out. I was slightly afraid of that hoping they didn’t deactivate his keys and mine to be safe, and hoping if they did they would let me know.
So off I went to the front desk, where no one was there. I rang the bell and waited for 25 minutes (not long but when you’re sick and just want to curl up in bed, feels like forever)
The guy activated my card quickly (didn’t ask my name or anything just the room number which added to my paranoia) and I was headed back to my room.
So I recognize I’m probably just extra crabby because I’m sick, so I’m probably being an asshole. I’m not trying to just save some money, but I’m really upset they brushed off double booking the room. Considering he tried at first, probably went downstairs to get it activated. They couldn’t see it was occupied? WIBTA if I asked for a partial refund or something? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3rzwq5lCpcoe0SbuOgK9TP8VguesEBI3 | 9uisru | {
"description": "not planning where to go on a Friday night",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not planning where to go on a Friday night? | So me and my friends decided to go out on Friday night to eat, get cheap halloween candy, and hang out. I had been asking them the day before where they wanted to go after getting candy, only one of my friends responded with a suggestion and the rest kept saying we’ll figure it out at the restaurant.
The day comes and we’re at the restaurant and the idea was that we were going to go to a mall afterwards, but one complained that we’d have to pay for parking so again we had no plan. After dinner, we all get in the car and I ask again before leaving where are we going after getting candy, everyone ignores except the one who is driving. We end up driving to Target as planned but all the good candy is gone so we don’t buy much.
We’re in the car again and I keep asking where to and again they ignore me, at this point I’m a little pissed off cause no one is saying anything and I don’t want my friend to just waste gas. Somehow we end up in a parking lot outside of Walmart, I get out thinking we were going to look for candy but I end up going to Walmart alone to buy gum and gatorade. When I get out I look for the car and it’s gone, they moved it to prank me.
We’re finally leaving the parking lot and one of my friends is mad at me for taking too long at Walmart and making them go there when it wasn’t even my suggestion. She keeps talking about how her mom is strict and that she’s going to blame me if she gets yelled at for getting home late (It’s about 10:00 PM). She then suggests that we should go to a smoothie place and then continues to say mean things to me along with two other friends.
Finally, we’re leaving and go to drop her off and she proceeds to make fun of me and blames me for ruining the night.
In the end I felt bad for my friend who wes driving so I gave him some money for gas. I don’t think I am fault here because I kept asking for suggestions on where to go but I want to hear what you guys think. | HISTORICAL | {
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ZuKQMLP4q6fTFnNIAOvcBMwcypSF7cdc | aj15xj | null | Update-AITA for not wanting my fiancé to go dinner with her boss (shit hit the fan on Tuesday). | Original here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ai1i0m/aita_for_not_wanting_my_fiancé_to_go_to_dinner/
judgement was essentially ESH, which I can accept because I should never have used the wording/phrase "you can't go to dinner with him" even though the situation was drowning in more red flags than a Comintern May Day parade.
Fair enough. She didn't speak to me all day Monday and the last words I heard from her were Sunday night after she got home as she slammed the door to our bedroom saying "you're still a controlling asshole and we're breaking up." Her nuclear bomb is always saying "we're breaking up" whenever she doesn't have the upper hand in an argument so I didn't make much of it and in reality I was just relieved that she was home and apparently nothing bad happened at the dinner. So like I said, Monday she didn't say a word to me. I was only able to get into our bedroom to get some clothes and I couched it again Monday night. Whatever, she was pissed, she was embarrassed that she didn't see it coming, she was angry at me. I figured I'd give her some space. So I did.
Tuesday morning I noticed she was getting ready for work. I couldn't keep my mouth shut any more and I incredulously asked her if she was really going back to that fucking job? She said "why wouldn't I?" I told her because the FUCKING OWNER off the company had done a month long manipulation to get her into a threesome with his other little side piece. She said that I was a fucking idiot. I was fucking flabbergasted. As she was stomping around the house putting her shoes on putting on her makeup and what not I told her that IF she shows up to that office today and doesn't quit or follow up with the state bar, he is going to know that she's OK with what happened, at least on the surface. Even if she doesn't have sex with him, he knows that she has a really high tolerance for his bullshit and he's going to keep working at her. I also told her that she has an MBA with a focus in HR, it shouldn't take a fucking an red-neck auto-mechanic to tell her this shit (I own a foreign specialty auto repair facility with my uncle). Her last words to me were "yes fucking asshole, I AM the professional. you aren't" and slammed the door.
So Tuesday I had no idea what I was going to do. I knew in my heart I needed to end the relationship, her situation with her boss notwithstanding, rather her method of fighting, name calling, silent treatment are just not acceptable. But I still wasn't sure.
She got home Tuesday and was clearly rattled by something. She was still silent, but a sad silent not an angry silent if that makes sense. She absolutely would not tell me what was wrong but she didn't lock herself in the room this time. She just sat almost catatonic on the couch watching Big Bang Theory (which she hates). My assumption...she fucked him, her or both. She gave into him. I have no proof of this but after all the bullshit, after the quick change in her behavior...its the only thing I can think happened.
In my head and heart, we are broken up. It's now just a matter of separating our shit, figure out what to do about the lease on our apartment, cancelling the small amount of wedding planning we have done...and oh yeah...telling her. She may be feeling the same way and be done with me too which honestly may make this easier for everyone. My heart goes out to her because I do care about her and if she did have sex with her boss under his bullshit pretense, I imagine she feels like shit. But I tried to warn her. I saw it coming from a mile away, no I didn't use the correct words in trying warn her and I take no pleasure in being "right" but I did try.
Thanks everyone...still ESH! | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | WRONG |
EWA68jGtiSv3I5AIfRChntGGkPO2YyK8 | a9atsw | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because she fetishised me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she fetishised me? | I am a white man and have been dating a black girl. Things were going well until last night when she told me that the reason she started dating me is because she likes lilly white guys who she can protect. I was very hurt by this. I am a door stop for absolutely no one. Her color never mattered to me it was her personality (or the personality I thought she had) that I liked. Now I see she just wanted some weird and perverse racial fantasy. I am actually considering breaking up with her over this. I don’t reduce her to the color of her skin why does she do this to me? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
PFNfBM0vCivnyKqTh0lkUxchgsvjEEnW | atmkq8 | {
"description": "refusing to pay for a gift I lost",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for refusing to pay for a gift I lost? | This is gonna be a long one, so bare with me.
Two years ago I became best friends with this girl called T. About a year ago, she gave me this thimble her dead grandmother had given her. About half a year ago, I realized that my friendship with T was very toxic, So I wrote her a letter explaining everything, and telling her I didn't want to be her friend anymore.
A few days ago, she asked me to give her back the thimble, because it was from her grandmother. I said yes, but that weekend I forgot, so when she texted me on Saturday and seemed worried, I lied and told her I had it in my bag, because I really thought I knew where it was and didn't want her to worry. Except that a few months before that, my brother decided he wanted my desk, and my mom told him he could come get it, despite me telling him not to and that he could get it another day, because it was full of my stuff, and my room was a mess. He came to get it anyway, I had a panic attack and hid until he left. While I was up there, he had dumped everything from my desk onto my floor.
So on Monday, I came clean to T, explained that I lied and had lost the thimble, and I apologized. That night I looked again, i even moved my bed to look under it, but I couldn't find it. Today, my friend F texts me and this happens.
F: Hey I'm at T's place and she's talking about her thimble again
Me: Idk what she wants me to do, she gave it to me a month ago, I had it up until a few months ago, my brother dumped my desk out onto my floor, and I've been looking for several days
F: have you checked everywhere you could?
Me: Yeah, I moved my fuckin bed to look for it.
F:Well, T wanted me to tell you that if you can't find it you'll have to pay for it apparently
Me:I'm not paying for something she gave me as a gift
F: Idk what to tell you man, you know that thimble was from her great grandmother who died
Me: I know that, and I'm sorry, but she made the decision to give that to somebody. And it's not like I just tossed it somewhere, it was in my desk for almost a year
Me: Tell her I'm sorry, but I'm not paying for a gift I was given a year ago
F: she wants to hear it in person
I thought that was the end of it, until F sent me a text version of the letter I gave T last year. I said that was a bit petty but ok, and that if he doesn't want to be my friend he should tell me in his own words. He said he thinks I'm a liar, I asked how I'm a liar and he brought up the thimble thing. I said yes that was a was a shitty thing to do, but one instance doesn't make me a liar. He said there's more but he forgot, I said if he thinks of anything tell me, because I'm not a liar. He said that along with the lying thing, when he broke up with his ex, T was able to give him advice and make him feel better while I just sort of listened. I said that I'm sorry, I tried my best, but I'm not very good with emotions. He said it didn't seem like I tried.
AITA? F was basically my only friend, I'm kinda freaking out. | HISTORICAL | {
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UWwWEMPSSxIUSed2j2eWYY1qavW1hmzS | akvxc7 | {
"description": "not compromising on honeymoon location",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not compromising on honeymoon location | Alright Reddit, here to settle the score between my fiancé and me. We are currently planning our wedding for June of 2020 and while it is a long way away, I know it will go fast and we’re the kind of people who like to schedule things well in advance so we are currently discussing honeymoon locations. Also should mention that we take a super long time to make big decisions (and little decisions sometimes too) partly because I’m pretty picky about a lot of things and partly because he is the most stubborn person I have ever met in my life.
So here is how we typically make decisions like this. We both lay out what we want and how badly we want it (absolutely necessary, would like it, would just be an extra perk, etc.) Here is what we both came up with.
ME: I want to go somewhere with a really nice beach (think beautiful turquoise water) no children, minimal interaction with other tourists and privacy. I also hate the act of traveling (like going through airport security, boarding the plane, etc but if fine when we get there) so I would like somewhere relatively close. I really just want to spend time just the two of us since we are long distance and will be up until the wedding. Anything else would just be a perk for me.
FIANCÉ: also wants to go somewhere with a nice beach but he would prefer the pool over the beach. The pool must absolutely have a swim up bar. He also wants to be able to explore a new place he’s never been to before. Does not want to go to the Caribbean because we have been to Mexico and the Bahamas and he thinks it’s all the same.
So at first we thought about like the pacific islands. Beautiful beaches for me, places to explore for him. But then I thought about the entire day we would be spending traveling and wanted to throw up. Not to mention it’s a bit out of our budget.
Then we started talking about one of the more secluded islands in the Caribbean. Antigua, Dominica, etc. but out of nowhere he says “we should go to Vietnam” and now, being his stubborn self, wants to go nowhere but there. I keep telling him that we can travel and see cool places after we’re married but that our honeymoon should just be about relaxing and spending time with each other.
So who’s the asshole here? Should I just go to Vietnam? It does have pretty scenery, it’s just not my idea of a honeymoon.
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
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} | RIGHT |
zHIWTi3K5B0fV1dF79OVPO179Pm3Khr5 | ayvbt4 | {
"description": "saying my ideal woman is my so in better shape",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for saying my ideal woman is my so in better shape? | So we were having a group of friends over to hangout and the conversation came around to what we found beautiful/attractive. I said that my ideal was my so but in better shape. She seemed pleased with my answer but the group immediately started ragging on me.
It seems weird to me that others would name celebrities or actors and that's fine but what I said was rude?
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
iMeY7TvUBQKDsbP9R8nGJe3zIovEwchT | b20ft8 | {
"description": "accusing my friend of stealing one of my air pods",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I accused my friend of stealing one of my air pods | For background, I usually sleep with one air pod in my ear at night and it naturally falls out. I then find it in my sheets the next day. Despite how careless my actions sound considering how small air pods are, I have been doing this routine every night for over a year and I have never lost them. Usually one ruffle of the sheets and it is there. I also keep my room very clean so I would know easily if they had fallen.
​
A week ago, I invited one of my best friends (18M) to my house that I haven't seen in awhile. He has had a past history of doing immoral things (ex. stealing, scamming online market places). But because he hasn't told me about doing those things in awhile and he's my best friend, I have no problem with him coming to my place. He also has little money to his name.
​
The day my friend came over is the day I didn't grab the single air pod from my sheets. He came over and came into my room, laid in my bed, and we played video games. A few hours after he left, I went through my sheets and couldn't find my air pod. The other one was in its case, but the one that would have been in my bed was missing. I searched very extensively for it by going through all my sheets, looked under my bed, looked in the PJs I wore the night, and looked thoroughly in the vacuum cleaner bag (since I vacuumed the day before). I am positive they would have been in my sheets since I used it the night before. I messaged my friend asking if he saw it, and he just made a joke that if he saw it he would have taken it. It's been a week and they're still missing after more searching. I feel like he may have took it just to have one, since its trendy to own air pods. He may not even know they can connect to devices without the case, since he has never owned air pods. Would I be the asshole if I confront him one last time saying that I think he lied to me and took it? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
tGfAoyacYmbWiWYaDVPjNurj7Q8INCao | b7hozp | {
"description": "not wanting my ex stepdad at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my ex stepdad at my wedding? | 21 F here getting married in June. My mom’s working on her 3rd divorce now but this is in reference to her first marriage and my first ex step dad.
When I was 8 my mom and I lived in CA in a 3 bedroom apartment, we shared a room/bunk bed, and she rented the other 2 rooms out to tenants found on Craigslist.
Alan moved into one of the rooms when I was 7. She started sleeping in his room and eventually they got engaged.
He had already abandoned 2 daughters from 2 previous marriages, he never put in any effort to get to know me, in fact he wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I was in the same room with him.
After they got married I got the same treatment as before, sometimes worse. The only times he acknowledged me were to criticize the way I did my chores or to say whatever I had said in that moment was stupid.
He convinced my mom to move to UT so we left CA (separated from the only people who ever made me feel like a child, gave me the freedom to be a kid, my aunts and cousins).
They divorced when I was 13/14 (by this point my mom had 2 more kids) and he fled to live in Hawaii. During this time money was very tight so my mom and us 3 kids rented a 1 bedroom basement apartment.
My mom was working 2 jobs (day and night) so my schedule was as follows:
M-F I would (try) to go to school, I would get home at 3, then my mom would leave and wouldn’t be home until the next morning when I had to leave for school again.
Yes, you read that right, I would watch (essentially raised) 2 babies from after school until the next morning for when I had to go to school. This included maintaining the house (laundry, dishes, dinner, vacuuming, cleaning up all the baby toys, etc), waking up several times a night to change diapers, and bottle feed the babies.
Sometimes I wouldn’t make it to school the next morning because I was so tired from the day/night prior. Eventually I got so behind I had to drop out.
Now that I’m getting married my mom has realized she doesn’t want to be married to her current husband. She’s planning to break up with him 2 weeks before my wedding. She has arranged for the kids to go to Alan’s house for 2 weeks while shit hits the fan with her divorce.
I have already told her that I don’t want him there since if he wanted to be at my wedding, maybe he should have shown some interest in me as a child. He very obviously didn’t give a shit about me or my future.
I know full well my mom only wants him there for the social aspect and photo ops.
She called me this morning and said that during that time, she doesn’t feel comfortable asking Alan to just drop the kids off at my wedding (since they’ll still be with him during this time) and that he HAS to come or else my siblings won’t be in attendance.
I tried to explain where I was coming from but she flipped it on me and now I feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing so AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
gjQAjWZrxCEnntBE6uaN6idhimr46uRR | aypx30 | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that I don't think she should work her main job",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told my girlfriend that I don’t think she should work her main job? | I’ll start by saying that I’m not asking her to quit. I’d never do that, it’s just how I am. My girlfriend works at a popular supermarket chain, she started around 2 months ago. The job is easy, for the most part, but she’s never around because of this. Before she started working, we’d be able to see each other a lot. As most relationships work. But now that she’s scheduled for a majority of the week every week, she’s never around. But that’s the least of my worries.
She has a second job, the job she worked before the job she has now. She only covers people’s shifts sometimes, and because of this she takes shifts on days she has off. She works too much. Not because I won’t be able to see her, but because she has no time to eat. She wasn’t like this before working her new job. She keeps picking at her fingers, to the point where it hurts her. She’s constantly stressed out, and has little to no time to do her homework at home so she does it in school. Her parents have told her that they’re not forcing her to work, and she can quit if she wants to. I feel bad because I encouraged her to apply to her new job, and now I realize that it might not be the best for her to work there anymore.
We were texting last night, and she was super anxious because she felt like she ate too many gummy bears. Because recently, she’s been eating almost nothing all day. The past month or so, she just hasn’t been herself. She was scheduled for every day this week minus Thursday, but she took off Friday and Saturday to be with her best friend on their birthday. Thursday, she took a shift at her other job. I do honestly think she works way too much, and it’s not healthy for her.
Here’s where the AITA part kicks in. I don’t want her to quit, even if it may be better for her. If I told her how I feel about this, I know she’ll overthink it and think too much into it. She’ll probably think that I do want her to quit, and she’ll think she’s a bad girlfriend because she’s always at work and never has time for me (which isn’t true on the weekends, but I have work Sunday so we can only go out Saturday and whenever she doesn’t have work.) She’s not a bad girlfriend at all, and I don’t want her to think that. She has before, for similar reasons, and I don’t think it’s fair that she has to think into things like this so much. I don’t know if I can tell her. The earliest I can see her is probably Tuesday, since I have work Sunday and Monday and she’s going to be at her friends’ for her birthday. Help me out please, because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want her to feel down like this. I don’t want her stressing out so much because she doesn’t eat because of work. But I don’t want her to overthink everything, and maybe feel worse if I did tell her. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qLCOA0SnPHNlpAFBZ9vUQgaD8efl2oGj | awd8m1 | {
"description": "not wanting to invite my Cheating Father to my graduation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA For Not Wanting to Invite My Cheating Father To My Graduation? | Keeping pretty vague for privacy reasons, but I hope this is enough info to consider voting.
​
I (age: 20's) found out last year that my Father had been cheating on my Mother for over 1 year. My Father only admitted to cheating after he was confronted by another family member. His apologies, which I and everyone else in the family have NOT CHOSEN TO ACCEPT, have consisted of yelling "I said I was sorry!". The little amounts of info that my Mother and other family members understand are through 1) threatening emails sent by the other women that were received by my Mother and 2) emails sent and received by my Father which were revealed without his knowledge. Needless to say, my understanding does not paint my Father in a good light.
​
I will be graduating from school in May, but I have already been accepted to another school, so this graduation will not be my last. I have still not been able to forget or forgive how my Father has hurt my Mother. My Mother is also battling a recurrent medical condition that was determined to be primarily stress-induced. I also know that my Mother only plans to stay with my Father until she can retire. Although I worry about my Mother's health, she states that at this time, she will not budge on her marital status. My other family members and best friends are also not very fond of my Father especially after finding out that my Father cheated.
​
I am conflicted on whether it is okay to remove my Father from a school graduation milestone in my life. But, at this time, I do not feel as though I would regret not having him in pictures during this time in my life. Another issue is other family members that I would want present may not be willing to come to my graduation if they knew my Father would be there.
​
Would I be the asshole for not wanting to invite my Father to my graduation? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
hB0wjOWH6eyAR0ZWP8AQToPgnGs9UzsC | ao8acp | {
"description": "asking my ex of 6+ years if she gave me chlymidia",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my ex of 6+ years if she gave me chlymidia | So this has some back story... Around August me and my SO broke up, we had 2 kids together and the last one was born in January of 2018... Last December I made some not very choice decisions and ended up getting my new GF at the time pregnant...
So my pregnant GF just informed me that she's being treated for chlymidia... I've only been with two wemen in the past 8 years and my last SO had 2 children and got STD testings each time... I know 100% I didn't cheat and since I've been with my new GF, we've lived together for just about every day of our relationship and I kinda would have noticed she was cheating and why would she have told me..? Also my new GF had an STD test in October and it came back clean...
So I'm really confused as to how this happened but when I asked my SO to go get tested, she had a shit fit and it was not a fun time (obviously)... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
rHxzr1fiyqY9cz7NH1fd4UrGOwnsTN4V | b6ha4g | {
"description": "not walking around",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I didn't walk around? | L=my classmate
Me=me
I'm on mobile so I'm sorry for any errors. this happened today at school.
basically, my classmates and I came back from PE and I was kinda tired, so i went to my desk (i sit next to the wall and L sits next to me) and L was just sitting there, not doing anything. I asked her to move so I could get to my seat.
L: why do you want to sit down? you're always sitting. just walk around for a bit.
me: what? let me sit down.
I pulled my desk so i could have an opening to sit down and she got mad.
L: ugh! I hope your phone breaks! (contex: I'm always on my phone during break. the sentence sounds weird but in my Language it doesn't seem like a weird sentence. also, not what she exactly said, but pretty much)
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3BkmdavvR8qMvrQzo997hzSl2K1FHpfU | b9nkpo | {
"description": "thinking someone can go back on a favor they've offered",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for thinking someone can go back on a favor they've offered? | Hi all - I recently had what I thought was an interesting ethics debate with my friend (I'll call him Hans) about something that happened to him last summer. He was recounting a night in a London bar with another pal of his (Frank), specifically how he and Frank felt they had been wronged by a bartender.
​
Hans and Frank approach the bar to purchase drinks. Frank orders one G&T.
"What about two? You're not nearly drunk enough yet!" the bartender says. Frank looks at the discount for buying two (G&Ts are 10 each but two for 17) and declines. The bartender pauses.
"You can just pay for one and I'll give you two. Don't tell anyone." Frank agrees and pays the 10 pounds. At this point, the bartender serves him a single G&T.
"Hey, you were gonna give me two," Frank says. The bartender raises his arms and says he actually can't. Frank gets angry about this and they have a brief verbal confrontation. Hans diffuses the situation and they leave.
I was surprised that my friend had even remembered this incident. I would've found it a little annoying, but not left feeling as if I had been cheated. Hans and Frank had the opinion that they had formed an agreement to exchange 10 pounds for two G&Ts, and that the bartender was obligated to honor that agreement or notify Frank that the terms had changed before serving him the first drink. I felt that I wouldn't have necessarily thought to do this if I was the bartender. Frank had initially wanted to purchase a single drink for 10 pounds, I thought, and even reaffirmed this after being offered a second drink, so the bartender was fine to assume that he was still interested in purchasing the first for 10. It would've been polite for him to confirm, but not an ethical obligation of his. My friend characterized it as a bait and switch given the bartender wouldn't refund Frank's money. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
IRSJgrEDBieKEh3VoYBHg7wlInzG2Qcl | 9vp2bf | {
"description": "disliking my dad because of his depression and alcoholism",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for disliking my dad because of his depression and alcoholism? | Hey, so I just wanted to know if I am at fault here because I feel kinda guilty and have been getting mixed messages.
My dad has been very depressed for much of my life and started to reach farther in to alcoholism when I was around nine or ten. There were many times when he would drink a crap ton, take sleeping pills, and pass out instead of pulling through on responsibilities. Usually after this he would have a big family apology in which he would do a bit of guilt-tripping, and would promise to never touch another drop. He always touched another drop maybe a few months later.
I know that he’s been through a lot in his life, and I know that depression can destroy a person beyond any recognition, but at some level I think that only explains the issues rather than excusing them. These issues are certainly difficult to fix, and I don’t expect them to be fixed instantly, but at the same time I kinda started losing respect for him because of them.
I’m worried that I’m only thinking about how I feel with this in a selfish way instead of thinking about what he goes through, but at the same time I know that he caused me a lot of worry and anger and guilt when I was very young, to the point where my biggest fears were finding him dead and/or becoming an alcoholic.
I don’t know if I should feel guilty over this or not, and really need some other points of view.
If you have any questions I’ll be happy to respond.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
M03hOnDnme3g5Z7It7ThPIJYc9E4VaPY | aypdqx | {
"description": "freezing out a coworker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for freezing out a coworker? | I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible while giving all the facts.
Let’s call coworker C. C has always had a bad habit of passing off her work to others. Also she constantly needs people to cover her shifts. I’ve covered for her several times in the past.
C has had kind of a flirty relationship with another coworker. I’ve seen her first hand be over the top with sexual innuendo with him. He would all the time take on her stocking duties. I kinda figured C was using him, but that’s their business so I never said anything.
Last week C went to our manager about other coworker saying that he had been sexually harassing her. Coworker had to have a sit down with the manager and actually ended up quitting during the sit down.
It’s really none of my business, but I do think it’s shitty of C to claim sexual harassment after she was as dirty spoken as anyone I’ve ever meant. I don’t want anything to do with her going forward just because I don’t want to risk my job if she decides it’s time to report me. C asked me to cover her shift today yesterday and I told her no. I’ve also been actively avoiding contact with her. We work kinda separated so it’s been easy for the most part. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
tto1kL12sTCxD9Ut9ubZVeQLCDYZz9St | b8uhg3 | {
"description": "being pissed at my friend for her actions in a psych ward",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed at my friend for her actions in a psych ward? |
I wanna start by saying that I've been in her position, and not like "oh I've been depressed" I mean like I have literally been in and out of that ward and know what it's like anyway.
My friend is early 20's, female and married with two kids. She's been having a tough time and has been diagnosed with depression, eventually she was admitted to the psych ward after asking to be for further assessment. During this time she's made some comments and done some things that have really pissed me off and I'll give you the top two.
First she made a post on FB saying something along the lines of "i wanna go home I'm not crazy just depressed", she went on to laugh and joke about some of the others who were psychotic and hallucinating and saying that some are just weird. This annoyed me to no end because I hate labeling people with mental illness as crazy, more so I was one of those "crazies" hallucinating and what not while I was in there but regardless I find her comments tasteless and down right shitty
Then when I saw her she told me that a nurse said something that upset her (essentially saying you have kids to think about and can't be overdosing and stuff), I don't agree with what he said, or at least not the way he said it. She went on to tell me, while laughing, that she flipped a table and threw a plate/food at his face, saying it was so funny and she laughed after she did it. Now this pissed me the hell off, I now work at a hospital (different one) and I've had all sorts thrown at me, but I never blamed the patient because they weren't aware (see: post op delirium sucks, UTI's turn grandma into the hulk and fuck dementia), she on the other hand knew what she was doing and not only found thought it was hilarious but said she'd do it again (she didn't like this nurse). I also want to say she has no history of rage or anger issues
I get that she's in a bad place, but I feel like her actions were shitty and childish. It's really made me reevaluate her as a person and as a friend if I'm honest but the more I think about it the worse I feel about judging her because I know it's hard when you're feeling so low and I know I haven't always been the nicest when I'm sick but I would never do that. When it comes to metal illness and throwing judgement around I just feel like a total asshole and it all hits a little to , so reddit, am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
S1tlDhXEzab6s11IFG39XFByKeZmWBHo | ab075s | {
"description": "throwing away someone's bong",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for throwing away someone's bong | A bit ago, some people came over to my apartment. They were drunk and tangentially knew one of my roommates, and just kind of showed up out of nowhere. Annoying and loud, but not really my problem, I just let them do their thing and retreat to my room and computer.
So then, one of my roommates asked if we were cool with them smoking (weed) and I said yeah sure whatever as long as you do it on the deck so we don't get any skunky weed smell in our common area. Our landlord specifically told us no smoking, and we are in good standing with him.
Now, the next morning, I go downstairs and find that one of these guys has left their bong (along with some ashy marks) on our wooden table in our kitchen. So, I decided to wrap it up in paper towels, throw it in the trash, and take the trash out.
A day or so later, my roommate that (kind of) knows them asks if anyone knows where this one dude's bong is. I played dumb and said no, and the guy came over and (obviously) didn't find it.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iMPRuGfq4NnAXDJS3eCm8VJvxPvRQtBZ | 9z7avo | {
"description": "not going to my family's thanksgiving",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going to my family’s thanksgiving? | Every year my mother and step dad have issues around holidays. My step dad will act like an asshole, my mother will resent him and refuse to celebrate with the family, and my little brother and I go to our rooms. This year I’m moved out and I’ve had numerous offers from friends and their families to have me over for thanksgiving. So guess what? I’m taking one of them up on that offer. One of my closest friends invited me over and her mother treats me and considers me one of her own so I have nothing but fun and love whenever I go over there. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7ZeUHD86cAyBE6o8JMp8aUWlq2bzW5YX | b16qgp | {
"description": "making a girl cry",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 27
} | AITA for making a girl cry? | In my english class, there are these two very irritating girls who constantly bring up social issues especially relating to gay rights and transgender rights, this is partly because in English class, social and political issues are brought up occasionally and they are very outspoken on their support for those two groups. Anyways, I was sitting in class just before the bell rung, when my two friends are walking in and in their conversation, they say that a certain mutual friend of theirs is a "faggot", just as part of regular banter, when one of the girls, we'll call R, hears this and goes ballistics and starts loudly saying that it's 2019, why are you still saying words like that when gay people are oppressed and that they're adding to the problem and what not, I at first decided not to intervene, but when she kept going on for a few minutes, and was just talking over my friends, not allowing them to defend themselves, I had enough. I went over to her and told her to shut the hell up and also said that "you know there's people right now who are starving to death, who are suffering from cancer, have had their limbs amputuated, or born with congenital defects, and all you're concerned about is people not being able to have sex with others, really, that's the biggest issue in society for you?, fuck right off!" This made her cry and I didn't see for the rest of the day, I'm pretty sure she went home after that. Maybe I shouldn't have humiliated her that bad, but I don't know AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 27
} | WRONG |
5mVcBGM5Yo2RY7zeKXYUIOvfohTpBEAW | b60lit | {
"description": "'being insensitive' and sounding angry to my mom and 'scaring' her away",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for 'being insensitive' and sounding angry to my mom and 'scaring' her away? | Today my mom got back from work and we were gonna have hamburgers. My two sisters and I are in highschool and I was had just washed dishes and was going to take out the cat litter. When I was taking out the cat litter I accidentally got some on my hands and I made a \*Tsk\* sound, my mom asked "What's wrong?" and I replied in a calm voice, "Don't worry about it." I finished taking out the litter and washed my hands. I took a nap, and when I woke up, burgers were done and I was putting on a movie I wanted to share with my mom.
​
Now here comes the part that had the incident. When I was making my burger, I was finishing putting the buns on top of each other, when I slipped and dropped them both but was able to catch them, but dropped a bunch of pickles and tomatoes. When I dropped the pickles I was in the process of dropping a bomb, but instead turned it around to "Fuindle." I was then getting ready to clean up the mess when my mom started yelling at me "Why are you so angry?" before I could reply that I'm not angry she says, "You only speak to me in an angry voice and you're trying to scare me!" I was kinda shocked. So I told her IN A CALM VOICE, "I'm not angry, I just dropped my pickles. Don't worry, I'm cleaning them up." She then said, "Yeah right! You're just blowing me off! Why can't you just f\*cking answer me like earlier?" My older sister (who is pregnant) started crying and my mom started crying, then my mom got on her coat and got in her car then drove away.
​
We proceeded to have a 'conversation' over the phone. I'm a little confused as to what we're 'fighting' about but if you guys understand, please let me know if I'm the asshole and what I did wrong. Here's the texts we shared.
​
Mom: You know I love you and let you get away with a lot of crap. I take up for you even when you don't know it. It hurts me though to have you talk to me in the time you do.
Mom: Maybe I'm sensitive but I feel that you should know how your words make me feel. It seems I mean nothing to but an irritation.
Me: If it'll fix what's wrong with my speech we can have a civil discussion where we talk about what's 'wrong' with my speech and how to fix it. Or I can just text everything. I typed most of this before reading your second text.
Mom: I would like that but to be honest I don't think I could dream of talking right now.
Me: If we don't talk about it, we can't fix it.
​
This is exactly what was stated in every text we sent. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jxlhAiYdICEjHXvjB6uSP6cde6dw0lMA | autg1k | {
"description": "reclaiming a borrowed jacket during a snowstorm",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for reclaiming a borrowed jacket during a snowstorm? | This happened a while ago while I was still in college, around Christmas.
I was working in retail at the time and this random new hire started flirting hard with me. We seemed to hit it off rather quickly and all of our coworkers were saying stuff like "you'd be great together!" and "oh man, she's always talking about you, you're lucky"
We went out several times, and decided it'd be cool to go to a hookah lounge since she'd never been to one. I pick her up, I pay for our seats and drinks/food (at this point we'd never paid for each other before but she claimed to be low on money after having some family issues) and we hang out for about an hour. The place was a state over, probably a 45 minute drive.
As I'm enjoying what feels to be a nice night, out of nowhere she casually says "oh, by the way, I'm not looking for anything serious."
I was kinda sad but understood, more upset that she wasted my time and money at this point. Then I find out through the grape vine, and I'm shown texts from one of our coworkers, that she'd been hooking up with my friend (strictly work friend, thankfully) pretty much the entire time we were going out. He didn't know she was seeing me either, and flipped out on her for doing that to both of us.
I was so pissed off that when I got back to work after a couple days off, I spot my North Face jacket I let her borrow on the coat rack and put it into my locker. It just happened to be during a snow storm. She just kinda...claimed my jacket after that night. When she leaves for the night, she texts me something along the lines of "THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE!"
Everyone, even our manager and the other guy she was seeing had a good laugh about it. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
lc7EHujSQ0NK91CRAXPQNNDFVFtfxF0W | b9zh9h | {
"description": "spending $300 on dice",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for spending $300 on dice? | Apologies if it doesn’t fit, this is the only judgment sub I know.
I started my RPG dice collecting hobby/obsession when I got into D&D in college and throughout the years I’ve been slowly increasing my collection. I had loans and a part time job then so most of that money went to loans but I would buy 2-3 sets of dice on special occasions like my birthday or if I did well on finals. My family don’t approve of this since in their mind, I could be spending it on more important things.
Anyway I graduated college a few months ago (changed my major several times) and working at a permanent, full time job that’s related to my major. It pays well, I still live with my parents, and I should be loan free in 2-3 months. But I went to PAX last week where I dumped $300 on dice. These were the novelty, expensive ones, I’m talking gemstone and metal dice. I’ve never spent this much on dice at once, the ones I bought in the past were plastic $10-15 ones. But I figured it was fine as I wasn’t planning on making it a daily habit, more like a once a year thing.
My family was not happy when they found out, said I could’ve spent it on other things like shoes and clothes. I will admit my collection is big, I have like 25-30 sets plus an additional 7 Kickstarter sets that should be delivered soon.
I regularly play D&D so I do use them but maybe I was irresponsible with my money. I mean you can’t really use dice in everyday situations compare to clothes. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
rnDUVJ5jSt9s81oNMD4rlibmiPNU67F6 | acq5xt | {
"description": "only talking to my grandparents, --whom I barely know (but still love) -- every few months",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for only talking to my grandparents, --whom I barely know (but still love) -- every few months | Something that I feel very guilty about is my relationship with my Canadian grandparents. We never fight, as they are very friendly and understanding, but for some reason, if I email them and they respond back, I wait a few months to gather the confidence to email them again.
I'm very aware of this situation, and I know there isn't anything to be afraid of, but I lack the confidence to write back within a reasonable time period.
Every once in a while, my grandma that I live with guilt trips me about not writing to them, which makes me feel even worse.
I don't know. I haven't seen them in a couple of years, but I still love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sidenote:
I felt that I should also mention that we're related through my father that left when I was younger, due to my psychopathic biological mother. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cp8h4FI9ID8W7TjMjvlN15tU1j7Xt52F | b7vfx7 | {
"description": "wanting to practice piano while people are home",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to practice piano while people are home | Hey!
So I've been playing piano for a few years now, and I really enjoy playing. I'm 13 now, but I've been homeschooled for quite a while, so I have time to myself, which I like to use to play, usually with the left pedal pressed the whole time because I'm sensitive to loud noises. (For those of you who don't know, just in case, the left pedal makes the piano quieter. I don't know how, but it does.)
The problem is, 3 of my brothers live at home, and their music tastes are pretty misaligned with mine, which is kinda old (Not classical music old, more 70's-00's old). Even my parents get frazzled of me practicing the same songs, but I don't know how else to get good at them.
So in order to be sure I don't get yelled at, I play when nobody else is home, which is rare for this house. Even if it's noontime, usually I can't play if someone else is home.
AITA for wanting to play piano, somewhat repititively, while people are home?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ssNWKdOX8NlGs5mjSHCQlH2eTcfhWMR9 | b21igr | {
"description": "getting pissed and reporting my neighbors",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Getting Pissed and Reporting My Neighbors? | What's up fellow assholes and judgemental people.
So, I have a feeling I'm the asshole in this case and I'll gladly accept whatever judgement is placed upon me by the Reddit Gods.
Since the beginning of the school year, the girls who lives next door has been awful. The dog one of them brought with was constantly barking/whimpering/crying, and I expressed worry to my parents as well as the RA. I get puppies get scared, but the extent was alarming. I only brought it up once.
Girl with the puppy moves about two months later. Girl remaining, I don't know what the hell her problem is, started to slam her door hard enough the walls/floor shakes. Has people over late into the night and is rowdy. I try asking her to stop, she ignores me. She's brought the other girls into this.
After Christmas break, it worsened. I spoke to my RA, she said to just talk to them, she "promises they're nice". Nope. I go to housing to ask to be moved, and when asked, I explain. RA's boss is contacted, RA gets mad at me, yells at me, slightly yells at the other girl. Completely shuts herself away from everyone.
Door slamming and 2 am parties continue. I tried talking to her tonight, but she doesn't answer her door, but I hear, "It's bugging her lol". I slink off into my room, whatfuckingever. They get very rowdy, and the door slams four more times with wall/floor shaking.
So, I left, slamming my door just as hard and storm out. And I called the campus police with a noise complaint.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Uif9Ibn40G5DdiGVdsLhtRnZL9xywXcS | ax4mg8 | {
"description": "including a few very subtle jabs at the bride's single older sister who has been cruel to her all her life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | WIBTA if we include a few very subtle jabs at the bride's single older sister who has been cruel to her all her life? | Told my fiancee she can write anything she wants and I will clean it up to the point where only my fiancee knows she is making jabs at her sister (I do this kind of thing for a living)
As a most recent example (from a lifetime of examples), her sister told her she is coming to our wedding as a pit stop out of convenience.
She wants to do this, but is having second thoughts. I figured the internet can help | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
fcQ7BVq4NBKhw9PwT8OSKstGJlKrKbWn | at5bif | {
"description": "not blindly believing my gf",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not blindly believing my GF? | Movie night with friends and GF. Snowstorm's raging outside. I shoveled most of my driveway but the snow in the neighborhood roads is still pretty deep. My best friend (male) and my GF are the first ones to show up so the three of us chill and are watching some TV when I get a call that my other friends, carpooling together in a van, got stuck in the neighborhood streets.
​
I bundle up and head out to help dig them out. My friend volunteers to come with but I say hell naw because he's not dressed for it (jeans and a hoodie when it's -40'C with windchill? PLEASE.) Everyone makes it alive to my doorstep.
​
We get in and warm up only to find my GF visibly upset. Everybody just kinda ignores it while they shrug off their jackets and stomp their boots of snow before coming inside. So I sit down next to my GF, wrap my arms around her and whisper to her to ask what's up? She immediately, and loudly, says, "Go ask your friend," and starts shooting daggers out of her eyes at him.
​
Whole room is silent. I look a question at my friend again, and his face is pure 'WTF just happened'. My GF accuses him of being saying things that made her feel uncomfortable (no touching, just words), and my friend denies them. The whole conversation goes back and forth for a few minutes, and finally she stares at me and says, "Why aren't you saying anything!?"
​
I tell my friend to wait outside, then realize it's a dick move, but it's done. I take my GF to the kitchen and get her side of the story. Then I go outside and get my friend's side.
​
This is a classic he-said-she-said sort of situation. I know relationships aren't a court of law so 'innocent until proven guilty' doesn't work when feelings are involved. I feel my GF wouldn't make a big deal over nothing, but I also feel my friend isn't the type of arse who would hit on my GF and play dumb. So now I'm stuck between my personal beliefs and 100% pissing off my GF. Knowing 100% that I am dooming our relationship, I let my friend back inside because there's just no proof (cue the executioner's bell).
​
We both come back inside and my GF looks appalled that he's even allowed back inside. The accusations and denials fly again and she storm upstairs into my master bedroom and slams the door shut. I give her some time before one of my girl friends (platonic) and I soldier on upstairs. I knock and she tells me to f\*\*\* off so my girl friend knocks and she's allowed inside.
​
It's been a few hours now, everyone else is just chilling and I am typing this all up in all its AITA glory to debase myself before you all for judgment. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 8
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
vhUoIPVoXYXerTd9ywV8qkJb5P8EKaRP | b7x53f | {
"description": "not caring about my parent's weddings",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not caring about my parent's weddings? | Let me explain. I'm a 16M, and my parents got divorced a few years ago, which is obviously never easy but it went pretty well all things considered. They live a couple streets from each other and I see them both regularly. Fast forward a couple years and they're now both engaged to good people, but for some reason I just don't care. Obviously I want the best for my parents and I want them to be happy, but as far as the weddings and the individuals they are getting married to, I'm completely indifferent. I don't *want* my parent's fiancés around, I don't necessarily *want* them to be my "family", I just tolerate it because that's what will make my parents happy. I literally already have everything I could ever ask for, two loving parents with a comfortable home and an education. I can't help but feel guilty because at the end of the day, I would rather never see either of my parents SO's or their families again. I already have what I need. This feeling of indifference keeps growing throughout the wedding preparations and I'm not sure what to do.
What are your thoughts? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
NDQMrOgDbTaiXoghWAVLqDqMBbhY3exs | aqdnu2 | {
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend for forgetting his wallet",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for forgetting his wallet? | V day coming up, hope this won’t happen to y’all. This happened a while ago actually.
Long story short: my (ex) boyfriend and I had been long distance (>500mi) for over a year.
He had always been quite irresponsible and unreliable at times when it came to making me happy. Personally, I always put in the effort to make him happy, such as always putting work aside to talk about his anxieties, giving money for him to eat when he runs out (he goes to school while I work a job), and he recognized that I took this relationship very seriously and appreciated me for my efforts, which I had been thankful for.
So we coped with our distance by seeing each other every month and planning fun activities, and this time (In October) I flew over to visit him for a week that I had taken off. Building up to this dinner, I had been mad at him for something for a while, and he was always promising me to make it up to me by taking me out to this restaurant he said he’s always been wanting to take me.
So the big day comes and we head out on a Saturday night. The restaurant was nice and I was in a great mood—until he told me he left his wallet at home.
I got complete upset at him. I felt like he didn’t care, about me or about this dinner enough—if he did he wouldn’t have made such a basic error. For the whole dinner I was just pretty upset and didn’t really talk to him much, and he said that I was ruining what would have been a great night by focusing on such a small error. From my perspective, this small error revealed his lack of care and attentiveness—would you forget your pencils for the SAT, or forget your passport when you’re flying? He disagreed and said I was overreacting.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
JObcXA5FsT6SgkT0SfX22TW6ky5zXxGB | ay6arq | {
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend didn't believe I was stranded after I lied to him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for being upset that my boyfriend didn’t believe I was stranded after I lied to him. | Hi!
So basically, i’ve had issues that have caused me to lie specifically for attention (important) for my whole life. I recently started going to therapy for these problems and yesterday i finally admitted to my boyfriend everything i’ve lied to him about in our relationship. We didn’t break up and he basically just said he really needed time to think about everything and consider how we can best go forward and rebuild the trust between us. I started getting really anxious waiting for him to get out of work to talk so i decided to go to the neighboring city to distract myself. It’s about 45 minuets away. I locked my keys out of my car and so I tried to call a lock smith but it was too expensive. So then i tried to call the police but there was an event going on so they didn’t have squad cars to send to me, so the most they could do for me was call a tow truck to come unlock it and i would be responsible for the payments. I texted my friends who weren’t working and they were at school. Around this time my boyfriend was going on break so I told him the situation and he texted his best friend but he was at an event and wasn’t in town for the day. At this point he started telling me it sounded like i was lying. So i sent him pictures of my car and the stores around me and my location being in that city. He told me if i was telling the truth i could wait until after he got out of work and i would have no issue with that if i was telling the truth. This all happened at about 3pm and he doesn’t get out of work until 10pm. I didn’t know what else to do so i just sat on the curb and waited. Finally he gets out of work and asks me where i am and i tell him in the exact same spot. He drives to me and finds me. I was extremely upset at him because the temperature dropped to around 40 and he left me stranded in a parking lot for hours. But i also understand it was a real boy who cried wolf situation. So. AMITA for being super upset at my boyfriend for this? Or did he have a right to not believe me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
XMDX0S7WFKyMqdqnBH5tlMxkMP7XgHxe | b4rolq | {
"description": "not liking my stepsister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not liking my stepsister? | (Obligatory apology for being on mobile and that it’s late for me so my grammar might suck)
My stepsister is 4f, I am 13f. I also have high functioning autism (this is important I swear)
I absolutely ***hate*** little kids. My stepdad acts as if I’m obligated to like his daughter for no good reason. She isn’t cute. She isn’t funny, and everything she makes is ugly. Now I’m really making this sound as if I’m the ass, I’m trying not to be so let me explain. She will run into my already cramped room (me + my other stepsister(8f) + a rabbit, in a 8x11 foot room) and just sit and watch me. She also tries to hug me, even though I don’t like being hugged due to my Aspergers. My stepdad brushes this off and makes me hug her. He also doesn’t discipline her when she runs around naked in the middle of getting changed or having a bath.
What’s worse is that he expects me to obey him like they do which has really made me resent her. He has attempted to force me to eat foods I cannot eat (I have sensory processing disorder along with autism, and I have a really hard time with food, for example, tasting a seed in my mashed potatoes will make me gag)
(TLDR Aita for making my stepdad angry via not liking his kid and him misunderstanding my autism?) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
QE8t8pXGxLj80B84Q91N6a1dsyu0voRZ | a5bkn2 | {
"description": "leaving a note on my neighbor's doorstep, asking him to maintain his tree",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving a note on my neighbor's doorstep, asking him to maintain his tree? | Sorry it's long! Bit of a backstory here. We bought our first house about a year and a half ago. We get along with all our neighbors (even the ones across the street whose kids have hit my truck with their basketball from time to time. Even though I don't witness it, they're very respectful, knock on my door, and apologize). I know all my neighbors. We're on a corner lot so we have the neighbors that live "behind" us. When we first moved in they came to greet us, my kids played with theirs, we even got the "if you need anything let us know. I work for x company so if you need help with something, we can work something out."
One of the first big projects I had was removing 13 trees off my lot. The roots had already destroyed the sprinkler lines, were headed toward my foundation, and the pool had started showing bulging. I needed the root system gone. So, naturally, I went to my neighbor since his company has large machinery for what I wanted to do. He offered to get me a quote and bring the equipment over to my place if I didn't have the truck to do it -- just to give him a day to get back to me. I didn't hear from him again so I hired someone else. A couple months later, we get a winter storm that knocked down our fence shared with this neighbor. I went to talk to him, offered to do all the labor myself and put in half for materials. He then used the excuse that the previous owner had made it clear to him that the fence would be her responsibility. I reminded him I'm not the previous neighbor. He said he'd look into materials cost and see what he could do. At this point I knew it was a lost cause. It was 2 weeks until Christmas and my backyard was completely exposed. I filed a homeowner's insurance claim and hoped for the best. I received enough to cover most of the costs, but still paid out of pocket for some of the material. I did all the labor. The entire time, this guy never looked at me, asked if he could help, greeted me, thanked me, or acknowledge my presence while I worked on the (now mine) fence. A few days later on Christmas, I hear a new dirt bike and see his daughter riding a new bicycle down the street.
Now, it's winter again and the leaves have fallen. I got rid of 13 trees for a reason, but because he hasn't maintained the tree he said he would, all his leaves have fallen into my pool, continually stress my pump, and fill up the bag on my pressure vacuum. Some nuts from his tree fell into my pool during the summer and broke my previous sweeper, causing me to purchase a new one that cost nearly $800.
This morning, I left him a note asking he please do something about the tree like he said he was going to do nearly 2 years ago. I reminded him I already paid for a fence and I don't feel like paying for things that could be easily avoided. AITA for doing that or should I just suck it up and continue doing my thing, not riling anyone up? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dFjA5f5CoJija3mLyl3KKtxQ8n9TGifA | b4aqep | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with some people",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with some people? | So a few friends of mine and I decided to do something later today and they decided they want to go mess around and get kicked out of stores for doing dumb stuff like building toilet paper forts. I quickly objected because I really don’t have any plans to get arrested or anything they started attacking me and saying I’m boring to hang with even after I suggested we go to main event or something like that.
Idk what to do anymore because they both seemed kinda pissed | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
v5jlTtDPd5yYbc7GuDC7OmY90pYv7U4U | aiewfe | {
"description": "getting pissed at someone making a joke of harassment",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting pissed at someone making a joke of harassment? | I was on a game that I commonly play then my friend invites me to a game - sure, then he 'realises' that there's a girl and starts being a dick harrasing her and shit even when she told him to stop, I have a go at him because he's harrasing her and I've seen the effects of what that shit can do but he doesn't stop, I leave and unfriend him and get told that apparently I'm the dick? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
r0rNWvDNRHLEc0HzN6ytFbx0gjLNVIO3 | arct8e | {
"description": "expecting reciprocation of gifts for holidays/birthdays from my so",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for expecting reciprocation of gifts for holidays/birthdays from my SO? | TL;DR - my SO of 12 years fails to meet me with his side of the bargain when we decided to be better about giving gifts. I’m getting frustrated.
To start out, I’m 26F and my fiancé is 27M, and we have been together for 12 years. We’ve lived together for the past 7 years, and have two small children, 5 & 2. We have a mostly happy life, but the past few years, we’ve gone through a bit of a rough patch financially, so we stopped giving each other gifts for holidays and birthdays, except for the kids. We share finances.
Two years ago, we decided we would get back to giving each other gifts, even if it was a card, trinket, etc. Nothing crazy, small gifts. He agreed and seemed excited.
Since then, I have given him gifts for his birthday, Father’s Day, Christmas, and sometimes for no other reason than I love him. Most recently for Valentines Day, I gave him a beard care kit ($10), a mug ($3), a card from the kids and I, and some candy. I set it up as a surprise for him to go into his office and find and I was really excited for him to see it because I enjoy doing special things like that for him.
He showed no emotion, gave a half hearted thanks, and hasn’t made any motion towards reciprocating the gift giving. I’m getting increasingly frustrated because it is now past V-Day with no signs of any kind of plan in motion.
He does work night shift. I’m trying to be accommodating and understanding, but I’m really sad. I’ve talked to him several times over the past year about it, and his response is that he has no idea what I like.
I understand that gift giving might not be his love language, but I have communicated how much it means to me that he meet me in the middle of our deal and he tells me he will get better, but it doesn’t change.
I’m not trying to be selfish, and I feel conflicted because should I really be this upset over material things? Probably not, but I can’t help it.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
T3yc56h8bn11s83BAZPbhKfIKrL6mhgB | amccvy | {
"description": "not wanting our cousin to stay over",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting our cousin to stay over | Ok some backstory, my dad's family lives in China but my we live in Australia. I've never been close to my dad's side of the family. My dad's great, but his family, not so much.
They believe men are superior to women and hate me, my sister and my mum. Whenever we come and visit any of them, they constantly try to convince my mum to have a son and shit talking us, saying that women are useless and are only good for housework and having children.
They also constantly demand money and goods as if we owe them something, but every time we visit, they never do any favors for us.
Now one of my uncle's has a son and we've only met once, and can tell he was raised by my dad's family. He's treted like a god in there family bwcause he's the only boy in the second generation. So basically he doesn't have the best grades in school and he's doing his final exams this year.
My dad's side of the family wants us to let him into our house to study in Australia if he fails. They also expect us to cover the whole cost of his learning and other necessities. They won't even pay a single cent to pay us back, since were 'family'.
So obviously I'm pissed, my mum's pissed and we dont want this kid in our house at all. But its hard to convince my dad to say no to his family so my mum's plans to convince him by telling him that if we pay for that asshole's tution, me and my sister won't be able to go to uni.
So am I the asshole for not wanting someone that my dad and his family care for in our house
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6YxUWkhoKty5YRQBtGuz6nMZuPxJAHX5 | aj8db1 | {
"description": "hooking up with another girl (sort of) the night of my future wife and I's first kiss",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hooking up with another girl (sort of) the night of my future wife and I's first kiss | I've been married for 3 years. Together for almost 10. I met my wife in high school at a party. We exchanged numbers and ended up texting a bit and meeting up again at a second party a couple of weeks after.
​
When I first met my now wife, I was at the time involved with another girl, who we'll call Lily (not in an exclusive relationship though). The night of the aforementioned second party, my wife and I ended up talking for a bit and then spending most of the night making out in an empty bedroom (like I said, we were in high school). Her friends wanted to leave early so she left, and we both said we were interested in seeing each other again. All was well.
​
After she left the party, I was ecstatic. Lily was not. I told Lily earlier in the night that I was no longer interested in pursuing anything with her anymore because I was smitten with my now-wife, which I was.
​
Long story short, we kept on drinking and eventually I ended up hooking up with Lily. She told me to meet her in a bedroom and I ended up going down on her, but stopped things very shortly into the encounter and left because I knew I really wanted to try and pursue something with what would become my future wife.
​
Anyways, I cut off contact with Lily the next day. I ended up going on my first real date with my now wife a few weeks after that incident and within another month we were officially dating.
​
AITA here? I've never talked with my wife about that night, but she does know that Lily and I had a thing when we first met and that I cut things off with Lily to pursue a relationship with her. She knows that Lily tried to contact me in the early stages of our relationship. I am very happy in my marriage and my wife is my best friend. All of this seems silly but I was thinking about the incident today and thought an AITA is in order. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
US4Q6MqujzlJW9uuL8ehD4QbQrUF3qse | ammxtf | {
"description": "not saying \"thank you\" after returning a book I borrowed",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not saying "thank you" after returning a book I borrowed? | So basically, I'm a psychology student in my graduating year, and around last year I borrowed a psychology book from a friend of my sister (I honestly don't remember if I did give my thanks, it was quite a while ago).
Anyway, a few days ago, the person I borrowed it from asks me if I still use the book, to which I replied "no, I don't use it anymore", she replies with an "Ok" and we leave it at that. The book was returned yesterday by my sister, and when she got home she asked me why I didn't say thank you for borrowing the book. I say that it slipped my mind, and now she's telling me to message her a thank you for the book. At this point, I feel giving a thank you out of obligation just feels off, so I just decide against it and leave our conservation as is.
Just as a side note, I realize this shit sounds really trivial, but it actually really bugs me since I'm not good at dealing with this sort of stuff, and I don't wanna look like a dick. I acknolwedge that I tend to be kind of apathetic sometimes, I know that much at least. My sister didn't really call me an asshole, but I sure as hell feel that way because of how things turned out. Thoughts? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
60yWARLJomgez7F44jBPNpG0eWDlOcp5 | ave701 | {
"description": "feeling happy when other women flirt with me? I have a girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling happy when other women flirt with me? I have a girlfriend | So a little bit of background. I'm 24 now. I have always been a socially awkward person through childhood and early college. I never got attention from any women, and most of my love life in high school consisted of having crushes reject the hell out of me.
Well as a result of that, I developed a yearning for attention. It's not some huge need, but when someone praises me I am basically happy for the rest of the day.
I've had a few girlfriends but this current one is the longest. I am happy with her. Over the years I've become way more mature and socially capable. I'm still not great, still a bit shy at times, but I can make a presence now and people actually *like* me.
Well at work, I've worked with a few women who seem flirtatious with me. Not in a blatant way, but subtle. I might be completely wrong too, they might just be friendly, but whatever.
I won't lie... I like it. I don't flirt back ever, and I keep conversations short if it's outside of work. I have never touched them physically outside of a handshake, I don't compliment them, I don't talk to them more than other people, I don't sit near them.
But I like the attention. Makes me feel attractive. Part of me wants them to flirt. It's not them either. It's not that *this specific person* is flirtatious and I enjoy it. It's the fact that *anyone* (outside of my girlfriend) is giving me that kind of attention and genuinely interested.
Again, even if it's not true, and they're just being friendly, I am receiving it as subtle flirting. And I'm enjoying that. Does that make me the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nTLZ6kakpyMw3SBWng6GlehUlXNqOB9A | b6njwb | {
"description": "not wanting a relationship with my mom anymore",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting a relationship with my mom anymore? | This may sound like a boring story, but it feels pretty crazy and hard to believe to me. My whole life, I’ve known my mom as such an amazing person without a flaw. In the last 2 years, I’ve come to find out that, of course, that’s not the case.
My mom manipulated my dad into a relationship, manipulated him into taking care of my brother (who is not biologically my dads, but my dad has been raising him since he was a year old), manipulated him into not wrapping his willy resulting in me, and has manipulated my brothers and I our entire lives. Currently, I am 18 years old and living with my dad on a farm and I couldn’t be happier to be living here. My dad has always done what’s best for me and my brothers and I could never repay him for all that he’s done for us despite what we have put him through. I love him to death and couldn’t imagine my life without him. I love my mom too. She was my best friend when I didn’t have any friends. But now I’ve come to realize that she is also the reason I didn’t have friends.
I love my mom and always will. But she has a lot of issues to work out that I can’t help with. But she thinks I’m the asshole because I abandoned her by moving out. She thinks I don’t ever take her feelings into consideration despite stressing myself out on a daily basis to make sure that she doesn’t stress. At this point I’m just done and I can’t sacrifice my wellbeing because my mom doesn’t want to be happy. My dads gf is telling me that if I love her I need to let her go and let her fix herself. So, AITA for not wanting a relationship with her?
I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have:) thanks for reading | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
HPR1VgJN0HiQeEDs6VQ1Cmpy0jw8RkCy | apa5ul | {
"description": "kicking my friends dog",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for kicking my friends dog? | For context my friend Gabe bought a dog about a year ago. Its a pitbull, Male Bit of a mean dog but nice mostly. i was recently over at gabe's house and my little sister and gabe's dog were playing in the backyard. Cool. About a half an hour goes by of me and gabe talking about a recent raid we did on a certain game and then we hear her just let out a screech from us talking at the kitchen table. We run outside and its running around the yard chasing her and growling a lot for no reason, And i run over to the dog and try to grab its leash but it starts to turn to me and bare its teeth so i lightly kick in on the chest/leg area on its front and it runs off somewhere else in the yard (I wouldnt know where because gabe went to calm down the dog while i was with my sister.) And then she starts crying and then we go back inside and have the dog outside. Gabe talks to me about the dog not really taking teasing if somebody were teasing the dog, And shortly after we leave
TL;DR i went over to my friends house and the dog started chasing my sister.
​
AITA for kicking the dog? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
Cngcgu6NyXDjAAUga7z71REZBv2nEVBd | aaqp0w | {
"description": "going to a fast-food restaurant just to fill up my water bottles",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA: If I go to a fast-food restaurant just to fill up my water bottles? | If I go to a fast-food restaurant and fill up my water bottles without ordering any food. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
qw4rM8kM0XrDhDCNKO10GNAp5RGil66x | aesek8 | {
"description": "shipping shit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | WIBTA: Shipping shit | I run a business and sell sneakers. As of late I’ve been putting the weight of the box and it’s dimensions a lot smaller to save on shipping cost and I just print out the label and drop it off. I’ve been doing this for months now and nothing has happened. I also don’t purchase the labels directly through the shipping place because they are more expensive so to save more money I use sites such as pirateship or shippo | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
Z86D4S9LHu1LvwXOergKJErFETkPjE0C | b2cjkl | {
"description": "talking about our sex life with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for talking about our sex life with my friends? | My bf had kind of a funny incident in bed. It’s no big deal, it’s really just kind of funny. I talk to my friends about pretty much everything, including sex. So I told the story and laughs were had. I really didn’t think much of it.
Fast forward to today. Bf texts me asking why the hell am I spreading our business. Apparently one of my friends told her bf who also happens to be his friend. Her bf cracked a joke to my bf. I told him it’s not a big deal and that I tell my friends pretty much everything. I said it’s not like you don’t talk about me to your friends and he said he would never talk about our sex life with them (doubt).
I said I wouldn’t talk about our sex life anymore. I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. I’ve always been open about this sort of thing when I’ve dated guys. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
r4xsVRCOsPbJankJejgNhbyrjItVPisf | a7w7xq | {
"description": "not supporting my friend in cheating",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not supporting my friend in cheating? | My friend was over at my house and she asked me if I’d tell her boyfriend (who is also my friend) if she cheated on him
She asked this in front of my husband, 1 year old daughter and other friend
I said yes
She then proceeded to yell at me for being a bad friend.
She said I should have been more empathetic towards her internal conflicts and supported her through her journey. She didn’t mention anything about that at all | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IKQyaWxcbBxgDkfSHlgtOttyrqb6cOiO | b14nsk | {
"description": "not wanting to date someone due to our income disparity",
"pronormative_score": 104,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting to date someone due to our income disparity? | I matched with a guy on a dating app, and we hit it off right away. We had a lot of interesting video chats and about 3 weeks after our first talk we decided to meet up.
Since he was happy to drive during rush hour just to meet me (which could easily double his travel time) I said I would be paying for the entirety of our date. This included tickets for 2 separate events (researched and agreed upon by both of us), and dinner in the evening (restaurant we both liked), which he insisted he would pay for. We also agreed to keeping it very casual.
He travels the 1h40m to make it here, and we meet at a local mall. Immediately I can tell something is off, he's looking half disappointed, half annoyed. After we exchange a "hello" hug, next words out of his mouth are "Just look at all these people walking around, is everyone is making more money than I am? I bet I'm the poorest person here".
Things kind of went downhill from there.
In between any casual and familiar conversation we had, there were several comments like:
* Oh we have the fancy seats? Oh wow, people will look at me and think I'm some kind of rich spoiled guy. *(I could afford "good" seats (not insane VIP ones, just good ones) so I went for it)*
* Oh yea, of course you would be driving a brand new BMW, I don't know what I was expecting. I bet that's the least expensive car in your parking lot *(my car is not brand new, just... clean and scratch-free)*
* Of course you would need a reservation for this place, I mean, why wouldn't you? Look at this, I'm scared I'd break a glass, and it will cost me a week's rent. I am definitely out-classed here. *(it was just a nice restaurant I would expect to find in any average-sized town)*
* Your hair is so soft, and you smell so good. What kind of shampoo do you use? -Never mind, I doubt I can afford it.
...and many, MANY more.
Just picture (if possible) someone having a half desperate, half smug expression, and quite the defeated tone while making them. I either chuckled, remained silent, or changed the subject after each one.
However much I liked hanging out with him, every time he would make a comment like that, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. We had discussed our jobs, and his income is average nationally, somewhat low for his area, which is significantly poorer than mine, mostly because mine is STUPID CRAZY expensive. It is also the home of many well-known companies, and the salaries are highly competitive, if only to compensate for the insane cost of living. For where I live, I make average money at best.
The next day, I messaged him that while I appreciated his company and think he is a great guy, I would not be pursuing another date with him, and wished him all the best.
So, in a way, it is not inaccurate to say I don't want to continue seeing him because of our difference in income, but more specifically t was his comments/behavior when it comes to said difference.
Am I the asshole he, and some of my friends, say I am? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 95,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 104,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
eG9fmd457qc74VzpLqrncErEtFJ1LQe2 | aoo51l | {
"description": "having trust issues due to what you did",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for having trust issues due to what you did?? | My bf (21m) seemed like such a shy and great guy when I met him and people always mention how he’s so in love with me and how they can tell. Great.
So my question is am I the asshole because during different stages in our relationship (even when I expected him to be the guy everyone else sees in terms of being loyal) I caught him either on tinder messaging girls flirting w them, or having screenshots of girls in bikinis (not IG models but ppl he knows) or snap chatting and snap messaging girls and liking provocative pics of other girls? Every time I say I can’t take it anymore and want to break up he doesn’t want it but yet he always finds a way, excuse, or something to do something like that.
AITA for not trusting him or feeling crazy cause he did those things to me and now I feel like he’s always messaging or snapping or liking girls pics especially when I’m not around and this time I accuse him, he might be innocent? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
baIZry1hqhWrgTEWhVGQU9cqnvQ5EU9U | as7qh2 | {
"description": "hating pretty much all of my so-called friends",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hating pretty much all of my so-called friends? | I have been in the same friend circle for about 7 years now, and I honestly have to say I am tired of their stupid shit.
One of them constantly ignores me when I'm talking, so keeping a straight conversation is pretty much impossible. He also always talks about how many girls he knows and how he touches them (I wish I was kidding tbh).
The other one is super childish and always does stupid shit. He steals from me (sometimes even breaks the stolen item and the returns it to me saying that it's not a big deal), is constantly screaming and trying to embarass me in front of girls.
At this point, I'm just tired of being constantly ignored and made fun of in some way.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SjA0bq6f9CSdbhhl7FdRsBDCgBILHl8r | b0hpyu | {
"description": "not wanting to take my mothers mlm pills",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to take my mothers mlm pills? | (this is my first ever post so sorry if i mess up)
So about a year and a half ago my mom joined and mlm named Plexus, they mostly sell health and multi-vitamin supplements, drinks, creams, etc. Once she joined she started the entire family on the supplements to "improve our health". At first I had no real problem with it as I did not know what an mlm was, but I have since done some research and don't agree with Plexus or any other company of this type practices. On top of this my mother started making claims and pushing me to drop my antidepressants ,I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years back, in favor of some other supplements sold by her company. So I decided to sit her down and explain the research I had done, and why I no longer wanted to take any product made made by Plexus. She flipped out. Started yelling at me about how I'm unsupportive of her dreams, and how I'm so selfish and don't understand that all she wants to do is make some cash. ( I didn't say I wanted her to quit Plexus, just that I no longer wanted to participate) I decided to drop it, and just spit out the pills when she wasn't looking. Since I've started doing that though Ive felt really sick on days I don't take her pills (cold sweats, nausea, excessive need to go to the bathroom. Its a fun time ) So now Im unsure of what to do as I don't know the pills contents either. Am I an ass for not wanting to take her pills? Should I just suck it up and take them? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ugb2UjUQvsqlTW6IfT6tCKEBrD9LDwpr | aqj7lg | {
"description": "calling my black friend the n-word",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 43
} | AITA for calling my black friend the n-word? | So for context's sake, I'm a 2nd gen Asian-American who has a black friend - we'll name him John. We're on pretty decent terms until there was a conflict recently.
It's pretty rare that it escalates to the point where we were, so I was really taken aback when John said that I was a ch*nk and should go back to China. And how my family would eat his dog.
So I called John the n word and told him to go back to Africa. I did realize as I said that I shouldn't have said it, and realize what I said was incredibly harmful and racist, but I cannot help but feel that it is justified.
AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 40,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 43
} | WRONG |
1IJJkVvCEiorfURCpYQfCBDeELmONImd | at8m3h | {
"description": "not wanting to go on a group vacation with people I don't know",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to go on a group vacation with people I don't know? | I have been dating my girlfriend for two years and love spending time with her. We've been asked a couple of times to go out on double dates with other couples in the past, and I have no problem with it if I know both of the people.
My girlfriend recently said that we should take a weekend trip to Missouri (we currently live in Chicago IL) with her two friends and their boyfriends to do a weekend triple date. I know her two friends and have a good relationship with them since we all go to college together, but I'm not as close with them as she is. However, I've never met the two people that they are both dating (neither of them go to college with the four of us), so this doesn't sound like a fun trip to me. My worry is that it will turn into the three of them hanging out and me trying to force a conversation between the other two guys the whole trip. I tried to tell my girlfriend that it doesn't sound enjoyable for me since I don't know either of the two guys and we'd be practically living with them for a weekend after just meeting them. She got frustrated when I started telling her that I wasn't really up for it and said "not to raise my voice at her" (this conversation was over the phone). I didn't think I was raising my voice, but I may have been trying to talk over her I guess? I'm not sure. I asked her if she could see where I was coming from, and she just said to change the subject.
We've gone on a double date before where I didn't know the other guy but I did know her good friend and it wasn't horrible. I wasn't too thrilled about that one either, but it wasn't too awkward. I got to know him and we eventually found something we had in common (yay for Star Wars fans). I told her before that date that I wasn't really up for it either, but she said that her friend really wanted to do it so we should just do it.
In the past she's taken a trip with me to my home town and has met a lot of my old friends that she didn't know beyond my descriptions of them. I really appreciate her doing that, and I want to try to provide her the same courtesy. I just don't like the idea of how awkward it could be. A party/brunch is way different than a weekend in another state with people I don't know.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
c3Pax47JVSh3R76G3HU01JyeyPgFTIBN | aymyuw | {
"description": "saying it's pretty fuckin' straight for my girlfriend to date me",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for saying it’s pretty fuckin’ straight for my girlfriend to date me? | I definitely did fuck up to some degree and I’m overall trying to fix the situation, but I feel that I’m not entirely in the wrong, at least, and want some strangers to either validate me or tell me I’m being a little bitch. Anyway
 
So yesterday, my girlfriend, who is bi but not out to many people, sent me a post about a gay weekend at a ski mountain she’s gone to a few times and was jokingly offended she didn’t get an invitation. I called her “hella gay” and she agreed. In order to continue the joke, I then said that she was dating a man (me) which is pretty fuckin’ straight of her. She said “are you kidding” and then said she didn’t want to talk to me, before actually being unable to talk due to work.
When she comes back I call her a pet name, and she tells me not to call her that. I apologize, use another, only to be told not to call her anything, to which I apologize again, not only for using pet names when she’s not in the mood but also for previously upsetting her. I do, however, say that I was just trying to make a joke, and she goes into how she thought she could trust me in talking about her sexuality with me and how I have never called her straight as a joke before, and it hurts because while she’s fine with hella gay being that gay is a blanket term, being called straight reminds her of people who say bi people in straight relationships are just straight. I repeat that I was just mocking that behavior, and say that I had previously made the exact joke, and recently. She says she doesn’t remember, so I find a screenshot from the weekend where she said she felt gay and I said “and you find me hot? That’s pretty fuckin’ straight” to no ill effects. She then said “fuck you” and “you always have to be right” before telling me not to talk to her.
I oblige for a bit, then text her a paragraph of apology which she responds by saying she can’t forgive me until I apologize in person.
So reddit, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 24,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 54,
"WRONG": 19
} | RIGHT |
hBRJMz4L61kGjN5E69904gze2U0zeMmN | afwn3q | {
"description": "living with extended family to go to school while traveling to see my fiance",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for living with extended family to go to school while traveling to see my fiance? | Local lurker with a throw away for today.
​
​
I'm going to school in a large city on the coast of the US, I switched colleges from a cheap to more expensive school, thinking it would be better for my major. The rent is 2-3 times higher here so I can't rent like I did at my previous school without pulling out a bunch of private student loans; I'm already 50K in debt and want to avoid privates as much as possible.
I moved in with my aunt and uncle who I'm on good terms with, or so I thought, and they let me sleep on the air mattress in the gaming room on the top floor and eat their food, though I do try to buy myself meals as much as possible, but I will resort to sandwiches and oatmeal from their kitchen time to time.
Last semester was the roughest I had so far (depression, suicide, breakdowns, feeling over worked, bad grades, breaking down in class..etc), I didn't talk to anybody and I keep to myself as much as possible, talking to my boss and professors only (I work as a student office assisstant). I also try to stay out of my aunt and uncles way when it comes to their routine and daily life, I usually woke up when everybody was gone in the mornings and I came home from school when everybody was usually in bed. I took a shower went to bed, rinse and repeat the next day. On weekends I drive 1 hr to stay at my nuclear family's home, and usually I just stay in my room unless somebody needs something, or needs help. Then I drive back to school on a Monday, and thats my week. I also try to help my aunt and uncle out and offer myself when I can, ie pick up kids, wash dishes, do laundry, offer to buy some groceries when going out, etc...
I don't want to be involved in anybodys life really, just my friends and fiance, who I trust.
Recently I decided to travel to China to see my fiance of 2 years, he's from Eastern Europe and is working there, the last time I saw him was Jan. 2017. We knew each other for longer than we've been dating and just had our application for a fiance visa to the US accepted and I wanted to be sure we wouldhave no problem living together, and surprise! We live great together. The trip was over $1500 which is A LOT of money for a college student but I had a plan for money coming in.
I'm in the military with a GI bill in effect, I earn around $700 a month while enrolled from the bill, plus around $200 in pay each month just for being enlisted and working, as well as an additional \~$400/mth from my office job. I'm also going to annual training this winter, depsite missing school I'll be making around $1000. I had all this in mind when I planned the trip, its just a matter of waiting for it now.
I didn't tell anybody about the trip because most of my family is old school, like 'China is communist and evil and you'll get robbed and this will happen and this and this....', my nuclear family also isn't crazy about my fiance, I also knew that'd I'd get criticized for spending that amount of money, though I told them that I would pay for this college semester as well so they didn't have to worry about it, they usually helped me with some payment in the past.
I didn't tell my aunt until she asked if I was coming to the Xmas dinner with my parents and when I told her I wasnt because of the trip she seemed enthusiatic for me, I was kinda surprised actually. I didnt tell my parents until the day I was leaving, which just resulted in heartfelt goodbyes, and again surprised.
I went to China and had a great time with my fiance, I was trying to ignore and only do small talk with everybody who texted me from back home, including my aunt. I just didn't want to remember home, I just wanted to focus on me and my future husband having a good time.
Today my sister sent me a screenshot from my moms phone who was recieving this text from my aunt (they're sisters):
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"U know since () set this whole thing up she says nothing really to anyone other that she is going. Little to no communication during her stay. No thank u during the holiday no little holiday gift to say thank you for letting me stay here. Now she's coming back and asking for favors?
I'm a little pissed. Don't tell her how I feel I will talk to her when she gets here. I'm off this weekend.
Now I am understanding what (my dad) said to me. During the summer he said "don't let her take advantage of you" I was confused but I'm beginning to understand.
She can take a bus from (city where airport is) and Lyft like she did when she left. You can\* just impose on people."
\*pretty sure she meant can't
\*I wrote it exactly how she texted witch exception to names, apologies if it sounds off
​
I'm hurt beyond belief, and in the text it sounds like I asked her to pick me up from airport, which I didn't. I asked her if I could come down and stay in her house for 2-3 hours while someone from home came to pick me up. This was after asking everybody at my home, if I had gotten an answer that allowed an earlier pick up time I never would have asked to stay at her home. It turned out I didn't even have to go to her house as someone had woken up early at my household and decided to pick me up, so I just waited in the bus terminal. I did tell her I wasn't coming. Now that I think about it I should have said thank you then, but I was really tired from 20+ hrs of travel and it didnt even cross my mind.
It's also this kind of behavior that makes me as reclusive as I am now, as my family on both sides has a reputation of it; I've only started being more open with therapy.
I also didn't get her anything, I was debating myself about it becuase I asked my dad if he wanted anything and he said no, asked my mom and she said no (until I was in China and asked for silk pillowcases from there, which I couldnt find and told her, she said no worries), my aunt never asked anything from the past and they have been doing better than my family in finances. I thought no big deal.
I was clearly mistaken, my sister said 'its not hard to get a $5 gift", and shes right, I did get a post card from China that was 5$ but I'm planning to get them something good under $30 from the liquor store, a thank you card and a gift card today. She wants to talk about this incoming semester and I have no problem with it, my fiance will be coming to US soon and we plan to live together before July, so hopefuly everything will work out there.
I have no problems with clarification, there are a few personal things I left out but since its a throw away and, as far as I know, nobody in my family uses reddit I can elaborate on somethings.
AITA for what I've done?
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​
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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oZrSTBR2YDpH9OZq5WzXq32c04mJOt4G | any2hb | {
"description": "asking my BF and I to go on break",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for asking my BF and I to go on break? | I’ve been dealing with a lot and struggling with school/internships so I asked my boyfriend if we could go on a loose break. He was okay with it but we talked the other day and he acknowledged that it was really emotionally damaging for him.
I still go out to parties and hangout with friends I just haven’t been hanging out with him very much and insist I need the time to figure this out.
At this point he still loves me so he’s resolved to just do his own thing and I’ll do my thing and we will still talk occasionally until I decide. | HISTORICAL | {
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"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
5iE93yDytqB0wyLRPMdnyFQdOaaGqIhU | af3qzd | {
"description": "not wanting to hire someone",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not wanting to hire someone... | Quick background, I am in the Food and Beverage industry and am getting close to opening my first venture which is a cocktail lounge.
While preparing myself for this I’ve met with a lot of people, vendors, booze and food reps, potential clients and investors. I recently started to search for someone to take care of my social media accounts.
Met with someone, looked at their work/CV and was quite happy. We exchanged a few emails and on our second meeting I felt like things took a turn.
We met at a local pub that’s quite popular here and had lunch. I had said lunch was on me and asked if they would like a pint as well. They said no and didn’t really drink often. No problem for me. I enjoy a few drinks rather often (rarely more than a couple and rarely get drunk).
It’s a Friday and late afternoon so, about an hour in to our meeting I ordered a second beer. They gave me a bit of an odd look but I didn’t think anything of it. Now, by the time I’ve ordered this second beer I’ve eaten a steak sandwich and plate of fries and finished the beer over the course of an hour.
Shortly after my beer arrived they ask me how often/much I drink. Didn’t think much of it and answered honestly. That at the end of the day I’ll have a drink or two but I rarely get drunk except for maybe special occasions ie birthdays, celebrations. This is where it got really weird for me. They then told me they don’t actually drink at all and that alcoholism ran in their family. They then proceeded to tell me I was an alcoholic wether I realize it or not. They were never “rude” per se but I was taken a back and definitely offended. I ended the meeting shortly after that and said we’d be in touch next week.
Now I am not sure if I want to hire this person to manage my social media. I have no issues with the fact that they don’t drink but, I was offended by the comments that were made. I also am opening a cocktail lounge... how can someone do a good job managing my social media for my night club if they are vocal and condescending towards people who drink aka my clientele.
I am looking for feedback since I am torn about this. I haven’t hired this person yet and we have only met twice and exchanged a few emails. So I don’t owe them money and feel like it might be best to move on to someone else now rather than later. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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A0niLAsW22P7iUCNigT2dNG20MEFuTSY | a9tssk | {
"description": "not wanting to meet my sisters boyfriend for the first time at my house",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to meet my sisters boyfriend for the first time at my house? | So, my sister calls and says her and the new boyfriend wanted to pick something up from my house. Considering I’d never talked to said person and my sister doesn’t have the best judge of character in my opinion based on past experience. Am I the asshole for asking her not to bring new people to my house where my children live, or am I odd in my thinking. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
pBH0qrHolBmrkcLfhyHjKul00M1HEV9G | b4arp7 | {
"description": "suspecting a new team member for wanting to meet with me for the wrong reasons",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for suspecting a new team member for wanting to meet with me for the wrong reasons?? | I just joined a new company a month ago and love it. I’m fairly entry level and my title shows that (assistant). We’re a smaller company with offices in North America. I’m surrounded by higher level colleagues who have tons more of academic and career experience.
We’re all very active on LinkedIn. I got a message from a new sales team member (unrelated to my team and in a different state). He requested a call so we can talk about "my perspective" regarding our clients as well as my academic background. I found this weird because he mentioned my LinkedIn, where it clearly shows I’m entry level and have been here a few weeks. My more experienced coworkers are also visible on LinkedIn so I don’t know why he’s singled me out.
Something in my gut is just bothering me about this. I’ve had problems with people like this before and prefer not to get involved. AITA for cancelling the call based on a bad gut feeling? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 5,
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IqdQyoHP0IKMF2uWKd44jps2888SdSkB | b2fbu2 | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend not to let other women lean on him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend not to let other women lean on him? | For a little context: I’m in high school and this is one of my first relationships and his first.
I’ve had at least two encounters I can remember where I see girls leaning on his shoulder. I’m a super jealous person and he knows this. The first time I was laying on his lap on my phone or something and when I looked up, a girl who I am friends with [girl 1] was leaning on his shoulder watching a YouTube video. I immediately got up and left so I didn’t act out. I didn’t tell him about how I felt about it until a while later, but I did tell a good girl friend of mine. [girl 2] The girl is also his best friend but I knew she wouldn’t tell him since she knew I wanted to talk to him. However, a couple days ago I walked into school to see her laying on his shoulder reading a book while I sat there with her. I was really hurt.
In general I just stared at him. I didn’t mean to I was just hurt and a bit dumbfounded that he did it... again. I later asked him about it a day later.
He told me, “I thought you would be okay with it since it wasn’t [girl 1].”
I replied with, “No it still made me jealous, but I’m mostly a bit mad at [girl 2] because I have talked to her about it and she told me she understood what I meant.”
He then proceeded to defend both of these friends.
He told me he values physical contact. I don’t know about the rest of you but I see a lean on the should as one of two things.
1. A flirting tactic
2. A trusting gesture
I understood why [girl 2] did it. She trusts him as a friend and she was going through some stuff. I felt a bit disrespected at the time because of what I told her in the past and I was trying to explain this to him.
He told me that they both have no ill will and it’s restricting for me to not allow him to do that.
I told him I don’t trust [girl 1] and that I was worried about losing him to her (as they’ve had a fling type thing in the past). He then defended her by saying, “[girl 1] is one of the most people I have ever met and she would never do that.”
Overall this made me worry because I do have some trust issues with other women so it is hard for me to bond with them. I didn’t know if I was judging her too harshly even though I did believe and see the rumors of her cheating on her boyfriends and selling sex.
His proposal was to only do that when I wasn’t around. I told him that it made it feel untrustworthy. At some point during this conversation that lasted over the course of two days, I gave up. I told him he could do what he wants in front of me or not. I can and I will get over it.
Inwardly I wanted him to say no, but that’s a selfish thing for me to believe he would do.
TLDR: Am I the asshole for not wanting my boyfriend to have too much physical contact with other people? | HISTORICAL | {
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XwjyUVoUACk8uQdufRUXh6V4mzYlCojT | abe1hv | {
"description": "asking a guy to stop throwing fireworks under the cars",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For asking a guy to stop throwing fireworks under the cars? | So 3 hours ago the New Year happened in my country, and i already had a dispute.
This year, due to several reasons, i had to stay home, so i played games until midnight when i decided to go outside of my apartment building to watch the fireworks.
The street outside is blind (ends in a stairway) and the end is a parking lot for the residents cars, including mine, and is full all the time.
So i watch the fireworks and i noticed this family, man, woman and child walking in the middle of the cars, and the man is throwing those pyramid-shaped fireworks, just casually lighting them and throwing them left and right.
Some fall under the cars, some next to them. So i wait until they approach me and the conversation goes like this (Me: is me, Him: is the guy throwing the fireworks)
Me: Hey, could you maybe throw those fireworks further away from the cars?
Him: Why do you care?
Me: Well, my car is parked there and i dont want it burnt to the ground.
Him: Im not throwing them under the cars.
Me: Dude i just watched you throw like 6 of them left and right, some under the cars at least dont lie.
Him: But those are kids fireworks!
Me: I dont care! They are still capable of lighting stuff on fire.
Him: So you are here just to watch over your car or what?
Me: No, im here to watch the fireworks, but when i see an idiot throwing fireworks under cars, of course i will watch my car.
Him: Yeah well they are fine, i can throw them here. (proceeds to light a cigarette 10 cm from my face)
Me: Why cant you throw them on the concrete stairs, no one is there and there is nothing that could catch on fire?
He then mumbles something to himself and his wife and they leave. And no, he did not pick up those used fireworks after him, he just left them there.
I dont know i should have just keep my mouth shut, but cmon, be at least a little bit careful. | HISTORICAL | {
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loMvMxRsjvSEV5Oxjzpk8yLR9SXLX57e | b5im9x | {
"description": "wanting to know about my girlfriend's life before we met",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to know about my girlfriend's life before we met? | I met my girlfriend Daisy four months ago on a dating app. Over time I realized Daisy was extremely reticent about pretty much every facet of her life. Example: I asked her how many siblings she had and she told me she had two siblings, then immediately started peppering me with questions about my siblings. That's what she does. She deflects and redirects people like that and if you're not careful, you won't realize what just happened. I used to think, "wow, she's really interested in me!" But really, it's a smokescreen. When I started to realize I literally knew nothing about her, basic things like what she did for work, her family situation, essentially her whole life history up until we met. I could tell you her favorite books and TV shows but not much else.
I raised my concerns with her and she basically told me that she doesn't like to talk about that stuff, she moved here to not think about any of it, it was really painful for her to talk about. I was kind of hurt that she didn't trust me enough, or was comfortable enough with me to be open and honest. I told her this. She got pretty offended and told me I, nor anyone else, was entitled to know the personal details of her life as they aren't relevant and I'm over stepping my boundaries. I backed off. I had clearly upset her and I needed to think about what she said and get a second opinion.
I talked to my buddies about it, or tried to. They joked that she's a Russian spy. They didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal. They've met Daisy and think highly of her. She's witty, smart as hell, kind^andsmokinhot, just an all around fantastic girl in every way. We have similar beliefs, interests, hobbies, the same sense of humor.
I'm very much tempted to let it go, but I also think it's not weird that someone would want to know basic information about someone they're dating. Am I wrong? I don't suspect her of being up to anything nefarious, I'm taking what she said at face value as I have no reason not to. It's really weird that she knows so much about me and I know next to nothing about her.
I need an impartial opinion: Am I the ahole? | HISTORICAL | {
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BU0Ic6LoR1gFzWq70PngLUNQ8Z5xU6df | avgqzz | {
"description": "not allowing my mother around my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not allowing my mother around my family? | When I was in high school, my mother started hanging out with people much younger than her and started doing drugs pretty heavily. I don't know what all she did but I know for a fact that she did molly often and smoked a lot of weed (not a big deal). It got so bad that it caused me to move out and she didn't talk to me for a couple years. That guy she was hanging out with went to prison shortly after for 5 years and is about to get out in July. She is planning on moving in with him when he gets out. We had just recently reconnected and after she told me that, I decided that if that was going to be the case, I didn't want her in my life. I just got engaged and didn't tell her because of this situation and she is guilt tripping me because she found out from Facebook. She says I am ruining my life and I am treating her like shit for no reason. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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vNhHqeOBZdY4j5PL1RvM6XLiIOMB17c2 | b9vhbr | {
"description": "ruining plans for an international trip",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ruining plans for an international trip? | My wife and her friends want to plan a trip to Mexico. Normally I'd love to go but there's this one particular person...
One of my wife's friends, let's call her C has a boyfriend named D.
C is great - we get along well, I find her funny, and I'm always more than willing to hang out with her.
D is the opposite. My wife's group tends to be all-women so during other outings, D and I are usually the only men. For some reason, D takes that as a cue to be the fucking Robin to my Batman. He seriously doesn't leave me alone - I can't tell if he's uncomfortable talking to other women or I've got some amazing bro-charm that he can't resist.
More context, D likes to talk exclusively about two things: stocks and football. Now I love football and the S&P500 as much as the next red-blooded American man but... that only gets me through so many convos.
D is also immensely off-putting. IMHO, he's sexist, elitist, racist, and a little lacking in self-awareness.
Shit he's said (I only remember because they've been such jarring comments):
* "Marketing isn't a real field. The only real jobs are in finance and law."
* "C (remember this is *his* girlfriend), you've got such a flat chest. When are you hitting puberty?"
* "(when we pass by a remotely attractive woman) God she's so hot . Why can't you look like that C."
* "C, you should just quit your job now. We both know you need to learn to take care of kids."
* "C, I'm just going to marry your other friend E. I've decided we're soulmates."
* "Man, I love your mom C. PingPong is the best (C is Asian and D is not. C's mom's name is Pingwen)."
* Not to mention I constantly see him checking out my wife's other friends.
My wife finds it hilarious that I hate D. I could honestly put up with his bullshit in large group settings if it wasn't for the fucking. constant. hovering. He seriously sticks to me like he's a bee and I'm the world's last flower. I'm also not "too nice" - I give one word answers in response to his comments but I don't engage.
I refuse to go on a week-long trip if D is there and my wife doesn't want to go without me. My wife's friends say I'm the asshole for not wanting to go (I don't publicly explain that D is the reason).
If you ask me, C could honestly do better than D but I'm in no position to talk to her about that.
AITA? What do I do? | HISTORICAL | {
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vxMu7UfLQ9PbbzXyYP3zsaeQv870pKZw | a20c92 | {
"description": "not showing up to work when I did not want to",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not showing up to work when I did not want to? | Background Information: My parents own 9 different stores and at 2 of them my cousins are managers. I used to work at the stores but last month I was so tired of it I asked them not to put me on schedule anymore.
Story: K, last week on Tuesday my parents asked me to go to my cousin's stores to help out on Friday. I said no, because I wanted to go to my friend's place next Friday. (Today) So I asked them to find someone else.
Then today when I got home I thought everything was all good and when I went to my parents they told me that Cousin was mad at me for not showing up to work, and he had to work by himself. Me being confused told them that last week I said I was not coming and they should have scheduled someone else. I then went to my cousin and asked him what's up. He then basically ignored me and said to not speak to him.
Now, if he called me again while I was at my friends house and asked me to help I would have. But we never spoke of me coming into the store. So I thought he had the shift covered and all was good.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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yPCEH1GYApEeMIkzDmZZ5NJnkqOJzP57 | adyj55 | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to straighten her hair",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to straighten her hair? | So some backstory. My girlfriend has really beautiful curly hair. I know it's important to her and I love it. When we went out for New Year's, she had it straightened by her friend and it looked incredible. She's never straightened it herself so I was surprised when I saw it, but in a good way. She looked great. She was fielding compliments all night from our friends who have never seen her hair straight before. At one point she mentioned that it was a one-time thing given how long it took (3 hours) and that she kind of missed her curls.
Fast forward a week and my birthday is coming up. She sent me a few pictures of dresses and asked me which one I wanted her to wear. She does this sometimes when she wants to look sexy for me in particular so I was all for it. At one point I asked her if she would consider straightening her hair because I thought it would look great when we go out to eat. Out of nowhere she got really upset and offended. She told me people have told her to try straightening her hair her entire life and that it makes her feel like her curly hair is inferior. I didn't know this so I apologized and asked why she decided to do it on New Year's. She replied that she just "felt like it" and then asked me if I would be more attracted to her with straight hair. Of course I said no, but she was still upset. Most of the time she wears it in a bun on the top of her head anyway because of how much work it takes to maintain.
Apparently she got teased a lot growing up because of her hair and it took a long time to get confident in her natural curls. I expressed that I find her hair completely beautiful and the straight hair was only a suggestion. She took it to mean that in order for her to look extra sexy on my birthday that she would need different hair. At this point I just kept reiterating that I love her hair but she isn't over it. She told me that it would be like her telling me to wear lifts in my shoes to look taller. I can't change my height and she can't change her hair which i get. But I never asked her to change it forever. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
zwAJlAxKuV1HhnrsLV92Np0HSqJA7gE6 | a5nvcp | {
"description": "suggesting to my girlfriend to take her work into the bedroom for privacy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for suggesting to my girlfriend to take her work into the bedroom for privacy? | The day started out like a typical Wednesday afternoon for us. We have roughly a 600 sq ft apartment which consists of an open living room/kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. Needless to say, there aren't very many options if either of us want some privacy. My girlfriend works from home so she doesn't really have a set schedule; whenever she feels like working she'll bust out her laptop and get to it.
We're both sitting on the couch; I'm playing a video game with a headset on (no external audio is being played) while she is working right next to me. She makes business calls sporadically and I'm so focused on killing noobs that I can't tell exactly what she's doing at any given moment. I had an awesome kill in the game and kind of when "ooohhhh" to myself, and she instantly raises her finger at me as if telling a toddler to hold their horses. She happened to be on a phone call and I had no clue. I get ever so slightly irritated and carry on quietly.
She finishes up her phone call, slides off my headset ear cup nearest her, and sternly says, "if I'm on the phone, you can NOT make any noises", to which I reply, "not even (referencing the noise I made, which wasn't really a word, more of a sigh-ish sound) kind of noise?" "No, not a sound", she says. I get a little more irritated by this point, thinking to myself, if I had to make calls and couldn't have any external noises, I would surely do it elsewhere. I say, "well, babe, can you go work in the bedroom (she has a small desk and stool in there) so you can work in peace?" She gives me this look of pure ignorance and I can already sense what she is going to say. "FUCK you" has never rolled off of a tongue so naturally. She scoops up all of her material and storms into the bedroom. She has been in there, working and most likely fuming on the situation (as I am, hence this post), for roughly 2 hours now and completely avoids eye contact and conversation in the minimal moments that she exits the bedroom.
Reddit, I need to know. Am I the asshole for suggesting what would be a win-win situation for both of us? | HISTORICAL | {
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CHujUee6tFNzHPFLqyaMDUkrhebjNkm4 | b0olzz | {
"description": "blocking a guy who has been bugging me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for blocking a guy who has been bugging me? | There's this guy (he is 20, I am 19/F) whom I used to go to school with that really keeps bugging me. He follows me on all my social medias and has my snapchat. We have texted for years. Not daily but we talk for about a month or two, then he confesses his feelings for me, I reject him and we stop talking. He usually doesn't want to talk to me after that. Then a few months pass and he texts me again. We have been going in that loop for about 5 years and I am really getting tired of it.
This time around though we have been talking for 6 months and I really don't like talking to him. He makes me unconfortable and he asks me quite personal questions. Questions like: "do you like someone right now?" and "are you taking antidepressents" (I have a history of metal healt issues like depression and panic disorder). Those are just two examples and I don't want to tell him the answers. But he gets upset with me when I say I don't want to tell him.
He keeps asking me to meet up with him, like a date but I continue to say maybe. I can't say no because I feel bad. He likes telling me about his mental health issues. He also constantly gives me compliments and gives me weird comments. He told me that I reminded him of his mom, in a good way. He compliments me all the time. One compliment from time to time is nice, when it comes from the right person but he is so noth the right person. His compliments make me uncomfortable and I don't know why. He mainly compliments me on my eyes but he sometimes compliments my hair and freckles. I hate it but I feel a little bad for him. He recently got diagnosis for a multible personality disorder. I feel bad for him, that's why I kept replying to him.
Recently though, I stopped replying. I couldn't do it anymore. But he keeps sending me messages. It really annoys me and I get into a really bad mood everytime that happens. I want to block him because I just can't stand him anymore. All his personal questions, his weird comments and his constant compliments drive me insane. WIBTA if I blocked him? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
B8Ef45bijANYFUs3x6RYjREWEyHJzzFD | akueo3 | {
"description": "asking for alone time from my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking for alone time from my boyfriend? | I’m a 23F and my boyfriend is a 24M we have been together for 4 years, recently it has been very difficult to spend one on one time with him. He prioritizes his friends or anyone before me and I never get any couple time with him. Anytime I bring up the topic and let him knows it upsets me he just blows me off. For example today he just came home from being out of town for a week, we have barely spoken and he has spent all day with his best friend only really speaking to me when he wanted to initiate sex, I haven’t mentioned anything about being upset but I feel like this isn’t normal in a relationship. So basically am I the asshole for asking for alone time with my boyfriend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Zs39BfmjlbcsEIf4Xf4Ww7yzvJNw4yuA | b6e3bv | {
"description": "ghosting a friend out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ghosting a friend out of my life? | About five years ago I met this amazing woman on World of Warcraft. I want to be clear that I do not now, nor have I ever had romantic feelings for her. She was just a really cool person I had a lot in common with. This led to us being "internet besties" which led to "actual besties". I've traveled six states away to visit her and her husband in California several times when I had vacation time. We would play games together, watch Netflix together by syncing our streams, voice and video chat all the time. She was just the best.
Cut to about a year ago, and she starts suddenly bailing on me. We had a standing vague friend date that every Friday we would hang out and play games or whatever. Seven o'clock Friday night rolls around and I'm waiting for her to Skype me and then I get a text saying that she and her husband had made plans a week ago to have a date night. Okay, no big deal. This started happening more frequently, and with increasingly inane reasons for ditching me last minute. If I had to cancel on her for a good reason she would get upset and try to guilt trip me. Then she started doing petty things like refusing to play video games unless we played what she wanted or refusing to watch the Netflix shows I wanted to watch. It always had to be her choice. The list of shitty behaviors is a mile long. Every time I tried to talk to her about her behavior, she would explain it away as being on her period or she had a bad week.
Now cut to about three and a half weeks ago when I told her we needed to talk. I told her I wanted to talk to her about some stuff I felt hurt about so we could move past it and it wouldn't fester inside me until I wanted nothing to do with her. I was holding out hope things could return to some semblance of normalcy. She promised me she would be available Friday night at our usual time. When the day came, we hadn't been connected on a video call more than twenty minutes when she said, "Oh <FRIEND> is here. I have to go. I'll call you back later." She never did. I later found out that she had made plans with this person after telling me she would be available. Something snapped in me, and that was the last straw. So I stopped answering texts and calls. It's been two weeks since.
Yesterday her boyfriend, her husband, and a bunch of our mutual online friends that we accumulated over five years started bombarding me and saying that I wasn't giving her a fair shake. I'm being a dick for ghosting her. She's been crying over me all week. She's so sorry for taking me for granted. I should let her explain herself. You get the idea. They all know the whole story. They're still insisting that I'm a dick, and I'm starting to wonder. I know I need to cut her out, but AITA for ghosting her instead of giving her another chance to explain? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6A68gVtKVgV3SnxFnX23AoKitp7YB52R | b881gu | {
"description": "wanting my grandma's cookie recipe",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my grandma's cookie recipe? | So for my whole life my grandma has been making these chocolate chip cookies that I absolutely love. But recently she's been in the hospital for repeated heart attacks. As of right now half her heart doesn't work.
We don't think she had much time left, and I would love to be able to make her cookies later in life as something to remember her by. The problem is she doesn't have the recipe written down anywhere. Would i be an asshole for asking her for the recipe given her circumstances? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pNIgMeVEBgGT0ocmKc7mPgC2adnUMojP | aeeof1 | {
"description": "threatening to tell apartment management about roommate getting a dog without my permission",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for threatening to tell apartment management about roommate getting a dog without my permission | Ok, so not as black and white as the title sounds, a few months ago my roommate mentioned something about maybe getting a dog eventually (even though our apartment has a no pet rule) at the time I said "yeah that could maybe be cool" and even joked about getting a cat too, but in no way were these actual plans of ours and after that we never talked about it again.
Fast forward to last month where I get home one day and there is a puppy at the apartment. My roommate and 3 other friends spontaneously decided to get a year old puppy from the pound, the puppy is not just my roommates but has been staying at our place since the other friends who also got the dog don't have stable places to live at the moment/a place to keep it. The dog has defecated multiple times in the apartment and I've had to clean it up some of the time because my roommate was at work, it also has woken me up early in the morning multiple times from it barking. I've had roommates in the past and learned that sometimes you need to let some things slide with roommates so as to avoid unnecessary conflict and because of this I've been cool with the dog staying with us for the past month with the promise that the dog will soon be moved somewhere else. Today I was with my friends (the ones who also got the dog) and they were talking about how they might not be able to have somewhere for the dog to stay because of some home issues, I then made the comment that if the dog wasn't gone soon, I was going to tell apartment management about it because I don't want to live with a dog and I could potentially get in trouble with my roommate for letting the dog staying with us.
I haven't threatened to report the dog at all before this and my friends said that it was a dick move of me to drop that on them and that they just needed some more time to figure something out without me threatening them. Am I being an asshole for threatening to report them to management for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1uiE6NYxyT47XINrXqxe9QgrueI0cOzg | a0dbsw | {
"description": "getting mad when my bf wouldn't decide what game to play",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for getting mad when my bf wouldn't decide what game to play | A little context, we live about an hour away and we like playing games on pc together since we only see eachother every other week or so
We were playing ranked Overwatch and I was already frustrated with him that day and he said he didn't want to play Overwatch anymore. Ok cool so I ask him what he wants to play. He says it's up to me. I tell him to pick something because I'm fine just sticking with overwatch. He says he doesn't want to play Overwatch but he keeps asking me to pick something else to play, and I keep saying he should pick because he's the one who doesn't want to play Overwatch. He says he just wants my input on what we play next and I tell him I just want to keep playing Overwatch.
Finally he decides on Borderlands, and says we should stop playing and go to bed at 2, but he took so long to choose that it's now 1:45. So he wants to play 15 minutes then go to bed. I say we could have just stayed on Overwatch and played one more game or played for like half an hour or more if he chose something faster.
He says we can play another game of overwatch if I want but I'm just too frustrated with him so I just leave the discord call and go to bed.
AITA for not picking something then leaving the discord call? I feel like I could have just picked something, but I just wanted to play Overwatch | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
0OIViB5uXPQRpcHl91VRS0vlfp6QRKKk | a0ycy7 | {
"description": "parking on the sidewalk reported",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA: Parking on the sidewalk reported |
Every single work day I walk past the same car parked on my street. It is a classic car of some kind, perhaps a 60s mustang. I can't tell because it has a car cover on it. I noted Tuesdays are street cleaning, so what does this guy do? He parks it on the sidewalk, exactly next to where he was parked before.
AITA for immediately reporting him to the city for sidewalk parking? San Francisco allows you to easily photo and report parking violators. Why is this guy special? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
PDaQlG0mrJ4VL7V8OkvGkSa3P9if17Ky | b1ws5a | {
"description": "being tempted by the ''manosphere''",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for being tempted by the ''manosphere''? | I (32M) have went most of my life without much luck with dating/hookups with women. I've had very few, and seldom been considered a viable dating option. Now I was always in decent shape, well groomed, so it wasn't a hygiene or looks issue I don't think.
The only thing I have going for me is my job, which is quite good. Now here's the thing, I don't actually subscribe to any MRA, PUA or RedPill stuff, but it came to my attention recently.
I came across this stuff recently and I can't help but SEE IT happening TO ME...I'm finding it very 'tempting' so to say, here's what I mean:
- I've never had luck with dating, until recently where I've got more attention from women my own age. Some of the same women who didn't give me the time of day in high school/college, are now interested in me and have asked me out. This to me is a bit bemusing, but under ''RedPill'' theory, I would be the Billy Beta provider who she wants to settle down with since she spent her 20's going for ''Chad's''
- Now I don't WANT to believe any of that, but many of those same women were doing exactly that when I knew them. Going for these bad boy types, could it be possible that they just see me as a ''provider'' that they want to settle with? I rejected those women who came for me btw, because I'm a bit bitter...I don't want to be anyone's ''second option'' that they feel they should settle with
Again, I know better than to blindly fall into such narrative theories but I ran this by my sister (35F) , and she freaked out. She said that the reason I've been shown more interest is because women know better who to date than when they're younger, but I don't feel that even addressed my question properly, so I'm still pretty much the provider? She said that I need to get away from these writings/theories as soon as possible and that I'm ''turning into a fucking asshole'' for even entertaining them. I was startled by this, I never said I believe them, just that I'm sort of...tempted by them? I guess it's like being ''tempted by the dark side'' in Star Wars, AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
6AQVudWR2RrbBZ2tsp1kjI4ke3oV8RAB | b7iecz | {
"description": "being a pissed off at an officer during a lockdown drill in my classroom",
"pronormative_score": 94,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being a pissed off at an officer during a lockdown drill in my classroom? | So, at the school I work at they have been doing lockdown drills by classroom in addition to doing it whole school. Every time it has been different.
The first time he came in to "test" my students and me, we were told to line up quickly because the "shooter" was on the third floor, and we had to evacuate. I stood at the front and walked backwards watching my students be very calm and quiet. We get outside, and it gets a little chaotic. I have a couple students who have autism, and one girl in particular had panicked and ran off to find the ESE teacher. When we got back, I talked to her about the importance of sticking with me. I told her it was just a drill and to not be too upset (she was in tears because she thought it was real).
The next time he did a lockdown it was the same class period. This time, he wanted my kids to line up against the walls when he came in. At this time, there were teachers or students hitting a steel drum to simulate gun fire and were banging on doors. The same girl that had previously panicked, crawled under a table and began crying. I talked to her real quick about how she needed to head to the other side of the room. She runs over and literally dives into a pile of kids. After this ordeal, I had to talk to her again about how to react better. She apologized and has since gotten better.
This Friday is where I lost it. That morning the officer came by my room and told me he'd do a drill later that day. I told him that I had a child with autism that I have been working with, and if he could not visit that class period because I don't want her to miss out on state test prep because she's too scared, that would be great (it has begun to seem like he has been only picking this particular class period ever). He said he wasn't sure and that she needs to just deal with it. Later on, during this same friggin class (and during state test prep for a test on Tuesday), my door is unlocked by a master key by a teacher. In comes another teacher with an air horn that also blasts smoke, and she runs around the room. The student I had warned him about falls to the ground screaming in hysterics. I just glared at him while the teacher without the air horn comforted her. I was pissed. I was starting to feel like he was just picking on her. The teacher that was comforting the student saw how angry I was, and saw me walking toward the officer. She immediately got in front of me and told me to walk out and relax, and I did. I was nearly in tears because I was that frustrated.
Am I the asshole for being upset during this drill to the point I had to walk away? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 94,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 94,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
hfwM93LhDXf0xjIjbi0i1QwSaP99oAWr | b6p5hh | {
"description": "telling my friend to fuck off in class and getting her in trouble over a creepy eye movie",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my friend to fuck off in class and getting her in trouble over a creepy eye movie? |
This took place in philosophy. We have a teacher that I strongly dislike. She teaches an easy class that is practically all seniors, but is insistent on being a hard ass.
Yesterday she decided to play a movie. Yay fun! But actually no. She said that if we look at our phones, take out papers, put our heads down, sleep, whatever, we would have to complete a research paper tomorrow. Essentially, we are being forced to watch this movie.
And the movie she picks (the Minority Report) sucks. It’s the type of movie that appeals to a specific audience (it’s a creepy sci-fi thing) and high school kids that just woke up aren’t it. But what can i do? I watch this movie. That is, until it gets to a part involving the removal of the protagonist’s eyes. I am utterly repulsed by anything that has to do with eyes. They start showing the tools for the eye extraction and I start panicking inside. I decide to plug in my earbuds and put my head down. I’d literally rather do a research paper than watch this guy have his eyes removed.
A few seconds pass, and I feel a hard pat on my shoulder. I look up, and on the screen is the exact thing I was trying to avoid. It was fucking awful. I look back and it’s my friend who tapped my shoulder. She is laughing. She’d gotten out of her seat just to “prank” me into looking at the screen (she knows I hate eye things, i’ve even used the word “phobia” before). I very loudly said fuck you or fuck off (i don’t remember). Awkward whole class stares moment.
I hang around for another minute but the image of the eye removal is stuck in my head plus the movie is still talking about it and I can’t take it. I walk out of class in panic (i’m pathetically crying and gasping at this point because I can’t stop thinking of the fucking eyes) and out of school and drive over to a coffee shop. I stay there for an hour.
At first I’m pissed at my friend for her “prank” and want to lash out. But after the hour, i’ve calmed down and decided that I’m not gonna be mad and will just pretend like it never happened. I go back to school and see my friend during lunch. She asks me where I went, I say it doesn’t matter. She tells me that after class, the teacher pulled her aside and was angry because the teacher thought she had said something offensive to me that had caused my reaction. She seemed really upset then and didn’t show up to school today (she rarely get in trouble, so i think this was rather distressing).
I have no idea what to make of the situation. I don’t know if my friend is angry at me. I don’t want to ask. Reddit, help me out... did I over react and get her upset over nothing?
Today when I went to class, teacher pulled me outside. I briefly explained what happened. She told me I can’t leave school and she told my counselor but whatever I don’t care. Fuck her and her creepy eye shit. Why couldn’t she just play Nemo or something?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
lMc843BLbOCHU96Sl8tB1FcHaFZZLd1W | azxcqd | {
"description": "not going to my best friends wedding",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA If I don’t go to my best friends wedding? | I haven’t made any decisions yet because I really just don’t know what to do, but I’m considering not going to my best friend of 13 years wedding.
She just recently moved a few states away from me, a couple weeks ago she calls me and says her and her boyfriend decided they are going to get married in one month. I told her this is such short notice and I might have a hard time being able to afford the plane ticket. She said she would help me out by buying a plane ticket for me since she got a very nice tax return and can afford it right now, but that she expects me to pay her back the majority of it once I get there. I told her that would work but now I have spent the last two weeks telling her that she needs to hurry up and buy these tickets because every time I look online the price keeps going up and up to the point where I’m going to have a hard time paying her back. She keeps saying she knows someone who she thinks can help get her a deal, but now with only two weeks until the wedding she still hasn’t bought them and I still have no idea how much I’m going to owe her! But on top of this she’s telling me that I’m not allowed to bring my boyfriend because her fiancé and my ex-boyfriend are best friends and he wants him to be there. He’s afraid he won’t come if he finds out I’ll be there with my new boyfriend. Even though we broke up two years ago he’s still not over it. The worst part is that it’s going to be a very small wedding with just me, my ex, and a few other people at the wedding and we will all be spending the whole weekend together at her house. I’m having a hard time telling my boyfriend that he’s not allowed to come because of my ex and that I’ll be spending the whole weekend in a house house with him in another state. I obviously want to be there for my best friend when she gets married but I’ve been extremely stressed out about these things. Would I be the biggest asshole if I told her I would rather just not come? I know she will be very upset but I just don’t know what to do! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9QPmF5s3CnRApqYRNnV5IA9IEbucjLik | anel78 | {
"description": "telling my dad to eat healthier or refuse to let him eat candy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA to tell my dad to eat healthier or refuse to let him eat candy? | My father has eaten his whole life too much which is the reason why he has always been overweight. My grandmother didn't really know what eating normally was due to the fact that she has experienced food scarcity in WWII. She didn't want her children (my father, aunt and uncle) to live in the same conditions as she used to, so she let them eat as much as they could throughout their whole childhood. About ten years ago, my dad's doctor confirmed that he has type 2 diabetes which, at that time, seemed to deeply affect his mood. For example, he became upset when a family member told him he couldn't eat ice cream. Many family members confronted him and told him he should eat healthier, by which he starts to play the victim and saying things like "you don't know what it's like to have diabetes". His reaction confused me, because he already knew his health was in bad shape and he acted like it was some sort of joke at first.
In the past, he followed harmful diets that made him lose and gain weight quickly, like juice cleanses. He says it's difficult to lose weight and I don't doubt that, but to me and my family it seems like he's barely trying to improve his lifestyle. He follows a diet that his doctor recommended to him due to his health condition, but eating custard and so-called healthy cookies after dinner? That doesn't sound like something a doctor would recommend to someone with diabetes. He walks an hour a day, yet he eats junk food at work (not everyday, fortunately). My mother can tell this by his expenses that she can search on his bank account. I don't know exactly how much he eats, but I can tell he doesn't know what eating normally is.
My family and I are at our wit's end on how to improve his health. I'm worried he might get a heart attack one day and I don't know what I could say or do to make him eat normally, because he's quite stubborn about this topic. Whenever he asks for candy and such, I want to say 'no'.
WIBTA to tell him to eat healthy? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
jgq4xMRU9sNyb6La3HSzldfGEvF9mjvD | b7uy0y | {
"description": "not attending my Grandfather's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I didn't attend my Grandfather's funeral? | My grandfather passed away very recently. I currently live over 600 miles away from my grandparents and drove out to their town when I found out he was in the hospital (under the care of one of his kids, my Uncle). I am lucky that my job was very understanding and let me stay for the week, helping take care of my disabled Grandma and my Grandpa while under hospice in his house. He was bedridden the entire time and we had to clean him because he was unable to do so for himself, which I know hurt his pride, but I didn't mind being there for him. My grandparents have done so much for me and it was a no-brainer for me to be there.
He passed and I came back home, because work starts again on Monday and I am unfortunately not in a position where I can keep missing work. Not to mention the drive is costly in both gas and wear & tear on my vehicle, but it was still much cheaper than a flight.
I will be working this week and have training for my job next week in another state - my company has already paid for the flight, the hotel, etc, for a full week, and if I want to advance at this job, it's important that I go. And I can't just keep missing work - life has to go on.
My Mom, who was not there during the hospice period or when Grandpa passed, wants to schedule the funeral for the week I would be traveling for work. I told her I would be unable to attend if that was the case. I also said if they wanted to schedule it a month out instead (he will be cremated so no having to worry on the condition of the body) that I could buy a plane ticket and be there if it's on the weekend. But I understand that these things move quick and people need closure.
I told her that I was ok with not attending the funeral - I was there when he needed me most and I don't feel the need to be there. She started to try and guilt me into coming. And now I'm getting it from siblings and other family members.
I know everyone will wonder where I am - I'm the oldest grandchild and I was there the most. And I am starting to feel a little guilty - I know that I would be support for my mom and uncle and Grandma if I was there. A part of me wants to be there and a part doesn't. And I am angry that people who weren't there at the end of his life are trying to make me feel bad for making this hard decision.
Would I be the asshole if I didn't attend his funeral? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qpiRkSQGJXSWUlFVXy4ZeVyQJP0rD7O1 | b2mi0s | null | WIBTA If I (and my friends) only went to half of my friends birthday party? | My group of friends have been close for about 5-6 years now. We all play video games, D&D, hang out and occasionally party together. A member of our group has his birthday coming up soon and will be turning 21. Now we're in a province where the drinking age is 18 and from 18 up through 19 we partied and went to the bar all the time. Now that we're all turning 21 this year we are pretty much done with clubs. It's loud, boring and way too expensive for the majority of the group. Except the birthday boy. He still goes out clubbing almost every weekend, and for his birthday he wants to do have a small get together and then go get wasted at the bar as per usual. He's a good friend, we want him to have fun, but the vast majority of us don't like to, or don't have the money to go out to the bar (some are both).
We have a friend in from another country too, and he doesn't wanna go out. The birthday boy wouldn't be alone , he's inviting some other people and his girlfriend who loves going out with him. It's his birthday and we rarely get to see each other with school and work schedules. I feel like it may be rude to him if we all stayed at the house (it's not his the first half is at, it's one of our friends) while he went out on his birthday. But he knows we don't like to go out clubbing, and we really, really don't want want.
WIBTA if I stayed and didn't go with him? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
0kvbrSvZ5XeDNoGyoaV5OxUDteT7hGxQ | aimwra | {
"description": "not following up with my plumber to pay him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not following up with my plumber to pay him? | We had our plumber come and install a new toilet and a new shower back in October/November. He and his guys have done work at our house in the past, he's a good dude who does good work. The catch is, he's really bad about billing...
I've reached out twice saying that the job is done (there was a drywall guy working after he wrapped up), and everything looked great, and to send me the invoice when he can. I'm happy to pay him.
He hasn't sent it yet, and it's been about three months. My wife says the ball is in his court since we've called a couple times and as a businessman it's his responsibility to invoice us. But I'm starting to feel like I'm taking advantage of him...
Am I the asshole for not pursuing to pay him? On one hand, free plumber work. On the other hand, this is probably a couple thousand bucks he's sitting on and I feel bad about that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1WPnTAWbph14CD7WxRlGZUqK2Dd9mEsC | asvszu | {
"description": "wanting my neighbor to move his bricks and trash cans off my property",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my neighbor to move his bricks and trash cans off my property? | AITA?
Prior to my purchasing this lot, my neighbor had laid down a bunch of bricks (no grout or base layer, just on the ground) and used it to park his 8 or so trash bins for his apartment building. I approached him letting him know I was going to put in a driveway and I wanted to build a little retaining wall (there's a 2-3' slope) and then fill the remaining space between our lots with some nice plants to spruce up the place a bit (currently it's an empty lot with construction chain link around the lot)
&#x200B;
He says, "So you're going to fight me for 2 feet?" And wanted me to get my landscapers to move his bricks for him.
So, basically saying he wouldn't move them and I said, "Let me talk to my guys and see what we can do."
&#x200B;
in the link is two images. one that shows the property line and another that shows my basic plans for the space.
[https://imgur.com/gallery/pn7P7ec](https://imgur.com/gallery/pn7P7ec)
His argument: "It's two feet and it's a big hassle for me to move these bricks and find another place to put my trashcans."
my Argument: "It's two feet and you should have thought of that before you decided to put your bricks and your trash bins on property that didn't belong to you. And how would you like it if I said 'How about we put all MY trash bins two feet over on YOUR side of the property line?'"
so, AITA?
&#x200B;
TL;DR My neighbor doesn't want to move his bricks or his trash bins off the property I bought.
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qnAXOl7ECPQom8H3pDn0sW8y9VLo6PBM | a51swq | {
"description": "not being happy my sister in law is having another kid",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not being happy my sister in law is having another kid | Disclosure: Throw away account.
So... Background.
My Sister in law (SIL) is having kid #3 with guy #3. Current kids are 9 and 6. I like the guy, first one I've seen that had a job (Retail Store Manager). She has been on food stamps since kid 1 was born. We have had to 'Help out' several times over the years for things like utility bill or unexpected car repair. Not 3 hours after helping her out with a car repair, she says she's having another kid.
Everyone starts congratulations, I'm so happy... Etc.
Inside I'm seething, SIL notices something is wrong and looks at me. I say I'm shocked (true) say I'm happy for her (not true, but I'm smarter than to start that convo in public forum)
I am pro life, I am not advocating abortion, but up to this point I've felt that she made her mistakes early and is dealing with it the best she can. I've never regretted helping her out (still). Especially because those two wonderful kids didn't choose this. But now SIL is repeating mistakes I thought she learned from. How hard is it to put on a condom? She can't afford the children she has. Myself, uncle Sam and who knows who else have had to step up. I'm considering suggesting she give up the kid for adoption. Hell I may take it in, but am I the asshole for suggesting it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
PfkwFBoJ8dr6AnELtWGA52tWolsGUyKh | aqdux5 | {
"description": "being frustrated with my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being frustrated with my roommates? | My roommates and I moved in together a few months ago and things have not gone very well since then. We live in a two bedroom apartment that they selected. I have the smaller room and the guy and the girl share the larger one. We also share a bathroom. They are vegan and against most technology, and their lifestyle is different than mine. I have a cat named Smeowg. Over the last couple of months there has been a very noticeable silence between us.
I came home last night from class to a post-it note on my door that said "Smeowg's litter box is full!"
I put one up and said I was aware, but that I was going to clean it in the morning so I wouldn't wake them up during the night. I also said that we should talk face to face instead of through notes.
I woke up this morning to multiple notes on the door from the girl saying that she will leave “as many notes as she wants”, that we "aren't friends, we're roommates" and that apparently it's my fault that Smeowg scratches at things and wakes her up.
To be fair, I need to be better about his litter. They’ve mentioned that to me before and I’ve apologized. But I do need to try harder with it.
I waited for an hour out in the main room for them to stop avoiding me, and when she came out I told her that I wanted to talk. She told me that she and her partner didn’t care to talk in person because they had nothing to say. I asked what she was upset about, and she told me that they have been taking pictures of dishes that I’ve washed that apparently haven’t been washed well enough, that I would be at fault for any paint that was taken off the wall from our loose shower rod because I hang my towel on it sometimes, and that Smeowg is scratching because he wants attention, which is my fault for not feeding him at the same time every day. (He gets fed daily, time changes depending on my schedule.) I apologized again for the litter box and told her that I did not want to comminicate through notes because it felt passive aggressive and I would rather talk in person since we live together. She told me she didn’t see a point in talking face to face.
AITA? To me it feels like they’ve micromanaged everything since we’ve moved in and do things their own way, and I have NO idea how to make them happy. I was told a while back that my music was offensive because a song I was listening to had the word “fag” in it. It was referring to cigarettes, and I am bisexual.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
LBqXj7En337HeWRPbMdquW7irg0xGLTl | 9zupx3 | {
"description": "\"changing my logic\" with my wife about paying for dog-related damage",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for “changing my logic” with my wife about paying for dog-related damage? | So about 5 years ago, my niece came to visit us. This was really exciting for her because she was 14 and she was finally allowed to travel on her own. Her mom, my older sister, is a single mom who struggles to get by (barely paycheck to paycheck), so it was our treat and pleasure. We also happened to have a new rambunctious puppy at the time. We reminded my niece multiple times to put her valuables away and to push in chairs, etc, but our puppy ultimately ended up eating her retainer. I immediately told my sister that we would pay for it, since it was a slight hardship for us (~$400-600, can’t remember, but they had no dental insurance) but would have been a devastating blow to my sister. My wife (then GF) grumbled a little about how my niece wasn’t responsible with her belongings even after multiple warnings (she left retainer on table with chair pulled out, a specific scenario we warned about) but ultimately conceded that it was our puppy, our home, and therefore our responsibility.
Anyway, when we were home visiting for Thanksgiving, my wife came to our room (really niece’s room that we’re staying in) to find that my sister’s dog had torn up her suitcase and destroyed most of the clothes she brought and all of her cosmetics. My wife is into fashion, so this is totalling around $800ish damage. The dog had jumped over the gate my sister put up.
This would be, again, a devastating financial blow to my sister. It wouldn’t be easy to replace ourselves but we could manage to do it, especially over time. Get the most crucial stuff now and fill in. That to me seemed like the best solution, but my wife is throwing my old logic back in my face: my sister’s dog, her roof, her responsibility. And she is saying that since my sister put up a gate, giving her a false sense of security, it’s even more crucial since she wasn’t “irresponsible” like my (at the time young teen) niece was. AND she wanted to stay at a hotel anyway, but my sister would have been hurt if we did that so she had already compromised there (this is true). I get all this and I’ve validated my wife’s frustration but I still don’t want to ask my sister to give us money she definitely doesn’t have when she’s raising a daughter and struggles to barely make ends meet.
It doesn’t help that my wife and my sister aren’t each other’s biggest fans for a lot of other reasons but I think that’s fuel more than fire.
AITA? Or is my wife thinking too black and white? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
gop7Mhn28JAQMF9t5hoedAVJ0Q8N3xl9 | b6oaiu | {
"description": "not giving my friend money for his dying cat",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving my friend money for his dying cat? | For context my friends are huge animals lovers. They regularly own 2-3 cats as well as owning several aquiriums. About a yeah ago they adopted a kitten, after a few weeks the kitten fell ill and required 100s of dollars of bills before being giving the ultimatum that they'll have to spend 1000s to save the kittens life, they decided to put the kitten down.
They've adopted another cat they've had for a few months that has just fallen from a tree and now requires 1000s in operations. They've started a gofundme page which I'm reluctant to give to as I think they should have learned and purchased pet insurance this time round.
Am I being a arsehole by not wanting donate and help a cat and a mate out? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KgDDtbs7QQ2bCh5HaTRsQWA09GiQfV1b | awtmmn | {
"description": "breaking up with my gf for her depression",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for breaking up with my gf for her depression? | It feels like it’s over taking my life. We never have sex anymore. My place is a disaster since she can’t clean up from herself. And she’s just letting herself go. She showers maybe twice a week.
I know a break up wouldn’t help her depression, but I hate coming home now. I already know it’s just going to be a miserable atmosphere. She’s lived with me for 2 months and it feels like 2 years. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 3
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
F17fUWhBr7Z6EBwFBjaZ6QmmotHzPJp7 | a4afu1 | {
"description": "trying to put my wife in a fighting class",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for trying to put my wife in a fighting class? | I'm not sure if this is plain arrogant, but I asked for advice on r/askmen to see their experiences on how their SO's have handled contact sports.
I then get brigaded by downvotes and get dissed by a commentator saying, from my understanding, [how arrogant I am towards my wife.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/a48b5i/whats_your_experience_from_putting_your/?st=JPFFKIPZ&sh=1c085ff9)
Am I really that arrogant and that much of an asshole towards my wife in other's eyes in my efforts of putting my wife in a fighting contact sport? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
DCV2LEYkoixyR1dq75pyiNv3xmjVvK8h | a240i9 | {
"description": "being hesitant about dating an indian girl because of her parents",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for being hesitant about dating an Indian girl because of her parents? | Full disclosure I’m white (M21) and she’s Indian (F21), we have hooked up once before and have a good time when we hang out together.
However, she’s said before and I’ve seen before that her parents are extremely traditional and would probably have an aneurism if she dated anyone but an Indian guy, or MAYBE a non-Indian guy if he’s either a rich and driven doctor/lawyer to be.
She’s said before she’d be down to pursue a relationship with me but her parents are a pretty big issue in my mind. I don’t want to have to deal with her parents and whole side of her family resenting me and disliking me straight off the bat with no way for me to change it.. just seems like too much extra stress. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 39,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 48,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
2cTPZteWWVwG86zjCMpe74ghvZGd3pSc | a4w5me | {
"description": "asking my neighbors to get their dogs inside their house first before I enter our shared gate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my neighbors to get their dogs inside their house first before I enter our shared gate. | I came home from jogging tonight to find my neighbors dogs running around our compound, a chow chow and a rottweiler, both full-grown. To give you a picture we live in a compound of 3 row houses sharing the same gated perimeter. My neighbor seems to be a couple, a skinny about 4'11" girl and an even shorter rotund boy. Now, as a dog owner myself, I love dogs but I know that each have different temperamental. So, I made a firm stand not to enter the gate and requested that they put the dogs inside their house judging by how the dogs can easily get through the grip of their owners due to their stature and built. I waited for a few minutes and the girl seems to just follow them where they go and the boy was just sitting outside their front door step. Sweaty and a little bit impatient, in a firmer tone, I asked them to get the dogs in the house for awhile until I reach and close my front door which is about 5-10 seconds away from the shared gate. The lady raised her voice and told me that she is trying to get them inside, that's when the boy stood up and carried the chow chow inside their house in a rather harsh manner then the rottweiler followed. I heard them commenting inside their house (most likely about me) before the guy slammed their door shut. After I got inside, I heard the dogs running again outside which is fine by me. I actually pity those dogs because they are usually stucked in that house. I can hear them barking in the morning before I leave for work.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vFCOwNVPoTjseczRsiFlPdBE3Qi362rk | almpj8 | {
"description": "not wanting somebody who has stolen from me to stay with me, even though my girlfriend wants him",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting somebody who has stolen from me to stay with me, even though my girlfriend wants him | Here goes my First time posting. So My girlfriend has a very close family friend she has considered her “ brother “ for for a long time, He is very special to her. He has been out of jail for about 4 months since he was sent away for murder. Since he has been out he has on drugs and not in a steady living situation, we have had a few good times hanging out with Him and whatever but he defiantly wasn’t my favour person to be around to begin with. Until he lied to my face and stole 100$ cash from me, for drugs. knowing it was all the money I had at the time, and ghosted both of us for weeks. Then I really wanted nothing to do with him. Flash forward a few weeks he is texting my girlfriend saying he has nowhere to live. She tried to convince me to let him stay in our 1 room apartment till he figures his shit out. But I told her I don’t want him living here considering his drug habit and this is where I keep all my special/expensive stuff that I don’t trust him around, although she assures me over the years that she has always been able to trust him and that he wouldn’t steal from us. But the way I see it is that he hasn’t showed me that I can’t trust him.
Me telling her this caused a huge fight, she got mad telling me it’s stupid that I’m holding that against him and that it’s Annoying that I won’t look past it, and pretty much that she would do it for my family ( which I truly don’t believe she would as I have enough trouble as it is just to have friends visit me at home without problems) . Plus I’m sure you could all imagine how much it could suck to share a 1 room apartment with my girlfriend, Her 6 year old son, and her drug addict brother. Like cmon I’m already sleeping on the couch Half the time so her son can sleep with her
She wants me to forgive him even though he hasn’t reached out to me at all about it only asked her and apparently in her eyes it makes me a big asshole
Sorry for the long/ possibly confusing post but I didn’t want to miss anything, I’m just looking for opinions, am I the asshole? Feel free to ask if you need more context | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yVlnIGPzC9KYgSqssrCZxU9KA5fu0WmO | a3vfvz | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with family? | Ok, so a quick backstory. I grew up in a very dysfunctional household where my dad was an abusive alcoholic and as kids, my siblings and I were forced together in a lot of situations, i.e. locked in a room while my dad was on a bender and my mom tended to his alcoholic rages. And when he was sober, we were once again forced together due to his unnatural desire to have us be with each other at all times and essentially force family time with us whether we wanted it or not. Suffice to say, nobody was really able to express themselves in any meaningful way until we all grew up and moved out. But now my oldest sibling has taken it upon themself to organize events for us to all hangout, regardless of work schedule or just general life schedule. It’s gotten to the point where my eldest sibling is trying to get my younger sibling involved in my after work activities (it’s sports, not anything weird) just to kind of force us together, or at least that’s how I’m taking it. Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend extra time with them outside of holidays and the occasional movie/lunch?
Tl;dr Bad childhood forced me and siblings together. As adult, older sibling is trying to force us together as I am trying to move on with life. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cCuk61PnD7O8wpFtwIBzbH4hN0jofQvh | 9vfb52 | {
"description": "making a girl cry today",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA I made a girl cry today | AITA So today, in my last block class we were working on some stuff on the laptops. So it meant you could talk, and do what you want. Well this one guy who I’m kinda friends with and this girl who I’m aquatinted with decided to make some jokes at my expense. The jokes consisted of comparing me to this weird kid at our school who actually threatened to bomb the school. Also from an earlier incident in the day where I had said I didn’t like a person at our school that happens to be black they decided to call me racist ( I took this as a joke, but it eventually went too far). So after about a hour of this I got fed up and insulted the guy, and then the girl. I said “ your face looks like a ball of dough” she then said ironically “ good one” I then responded with “ I could take your face mash it up roll it out with a rolling pin stick it in the oven then have a pizza”. After this she said something along the lines of wow I bet you feel good about yourself. I said yeah I do. She then said stuff about not making fun of girls and started crying. She then went to the bathroom for the last 15 minutes of class. The teacher and some of the girls said I was mean but most either said nothing or good for me for Defending myself. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
hFDWivM30DsjueZlBKC2nhxFjuM3kTvU | b5qzlt | {
"description": "crying during a game",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for crying during a game? | I am currently a new player to a game called League of Legends and I’ve been playing with my friend for awhile. I have never been entirely interested in this game but I try playing it everyday to be able to play with my friend. There’s a lot of strategy to this game and apparently it takes months to get used to.
So I was on a voice chat with some of my friends and another friend who has been teaching me how to play the game. I was very upset not being able to do the things my friends ask me to do as I am pretty slow/uncoordinated. I started getting upset mid way of the game and cried. The whole voice chat became silent and after the game finishes my friend says I was being selfish for crying and making her feel like the bad guy because of the way she coached me. She says I’ve ruined their game.
AITA for crying during the game? I was trying very hard to play well but I wasn’t doing as good as I thought. Maybe I’m wrong and I should’ve been considerate of their feelings while playing. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
rjigNFb7IijcN2U28UPLOgV6xbQWxbq0 | altxi4 | {
"description": "telling if I told my friend he was being a self absorbed jerk the day after his grandma died",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I told if I told my friend he was being a self absorbed jerk the day after his grandma died (for unrelated reasons)? | Me and my friend are both 14. Yesterday, he told me when he was angry that him and some of my friends prefer to hang out without me. I obviously got upset, and told him as such. He never really apologized, and today at school made fun of me for being upset and for some particular things I said (I didn’t really feel like eating lunch with him the next day and things of the such). He was just an overall jerk about it. He is also a pretty narcissistic person. However, I don’t know if I should tell him as such as his grandmother died yesterday (although he isn’t to upset about it, if that matters).
WIBTA for telling him off about this situation and telling him to get over himself after his grandma died?
TL;DR- my friend said something upsetting to me yesterday, and made fun of me for getting upset and for what I said. I want to tell him off, but his grandma died yesterday, although he doesn’t appear to be too upset. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
Nn2LaDma31yh84bRVdiXODv7pYmScZtw | aan2ko | {
"description": "being purposefully distant to my boyfriend when he has suicidal thoughts",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being purposefully distant to my boyfriend when he has suicidal thoughts? (UPDATE) | [AITA for being purposefully distant to my boyfriend when he has suicidal thoughts ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a1nv73/aita_for_being_purposefully_distant_to_my/?st=JQ9Q8M84&sh=83e7de1a)
I posted here in AITA a bit ago (link to the post above). I wanted to share an update about what happened.
I broke up with my boyfriend first and foremost. I told him my reasoning behind it, and he didn’t take it well at all. He tried to cut me down, said some verbally abusive things, told me I was an abuser, and that he hated me. He also said that (for some strange reason) that he still wanted me in his life. I refused.
I told him we both have our issues, and in order to deal with mine, a step that needed to be taken involved seeing professional help. I told him that I need to work on myself and my depression before I enter a relationship again. I suggested he see a therapist, too. He got offended, and resumed the verbal abuse. I left his house immediately.
I didn’t speak to him after that. He sent me texts and emails that were at one moment filled with hate and vitriol, and the next, he’d go on and on about how he loved me. When I didn’t respond, he sent me a text about two days after our break up saying that he’d signed up for a dating site. I deleted every message and blocked all means of communication from him.
My therapy is going well. It’s got it’s rough days, but I’m slowly but surely working my way into managing my depression. Positive thinking, surrounding myself with supportive people, and changing my views about myself are some of the things my therapist and I have been working on. I’m now prescribed with antidepressants as well.
Life isn’t perfect, but with the right amount of work, I’m hoping it can be a bit more kinder towards me, and vice versa. Thank you for reading. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
gcPdzb6vpUsaJvTZseH4Xa0AG6cCiFKJ | b2ud52 | {
"description": "asking him to put his toys in storage",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for asking him to put his toys in storage? | Bf and I moved in together at the beginning of this month. It’s be great except for one thing, he has an entire wall of toys in our room. I totally support his fanboy nature and even go with him to the marvel movies. But the toy wall is a bit much. I understand they are expensive and I’m not asking him to get rid of them. I’d just like a more adult room so I asked him to put them into storage. He’s fighting me on it though. He says he’s always had his room this way and that I can decorate the other three walls however I want. They just pull your attention to them whenever you enter the room. I just want to be comfortable in our bedroom. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
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