id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Oc2XI1qd2SzaHeUsoluzQCvEFfpIbdAH | 9w4t6v | {
"description": "only tipping $20 for a 5 hour haircut",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for only tipping $20 for a 5 hour haircut? | Mandatory statement please excuse formatting, on mobile and a noob to posting.
Trying to be frugal, I booked a cut and color at the local beauty school with a student (this is how they get their required hours). She did an all over color and a foil for depth. Then a trim and long layers (was supposed to be long layers but she went a bit too short).
At the 5 hour mark she wasn’t done with the styling. At this point I’m antsy, my pain medication was wearing off (had dental surgery the day before and I hadn’t thought to bring medication) and my arse was hurting something fierce. I told her it was fine and I had to go.
The total was $49.00. I gave her a $20.00 in cash. I feel like I didn’t tip enough due to the amount of time but then again this should of taken maybe two hours, three at most.
Should I have tipped more? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
plOe6QqdenKnpKykLheWmFeDNom7U9LH | atjjwc | {
"description": "reporting a neighbor that refuses to leash their dog, saying that it acts aggressive on a leash",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA for reporting a neighbor that refuses to leash their dog, saying that it acts aggressive on a leash? | To clarify, I've never run into the dog or owner, but someone posted on the Nextdoor app about leashing your dogs, as it's become a big problem in my neighborhood. One person continually states that they are "willing to take the risk" of their large dog being off leash, stating that it's easier for them because the dog is fearfully aggressive when on a leash. I find this attitude upsetting, as he's even stated he's okay accepting the risk of the dog running in the road. We live in a large city with a lot of traffic, which does have a mandatory leash law. I also don't trust that a dog with aggression issues would be safe off the leash all the time to everyone else. WIBTA if I reported him through the city's site for minor offenses? I have his name and general location because of the posts, and screenshots of the comments made about the dogs behavior and the "risks" he has accepted. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
u09N35nlglnf8nVyBUfOeFkb6nTLy3yA | b8aujl | {
"description": "not switching shift with my coworker",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not switching shift with my coworker? | So I'm in a little bit of a pickle. My coworker asked me if I'd switch him my shift later in the week for his shift tomorrow so he can move into his new place. The thing is, he requested today off to do just that.
He also calls off frequently enough to be annoying and it almost always fucks me over and I have to stay, like, 2 hours over my time. Which is nice on the paycheck, but super annoying.
He's got a two year old son who he can never seen to find a babysitter for, single father, or the boy is sick. I swear this kid "had" the stomach flu 10 times in the month of March.
I've gone in and covered for a shift he called off quite a few times and even switched shifts with him so he wouldn't be losing money.
I'm scheduled to have the next two days off and I was quite looking forward to them. Am I an asshole to tell him no? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8UqBLMpnLH2fZNmZqEZVRT3msCHEHQyM | b4xpvz | {
"description": "cancelling a date because of an \"innocent\" question",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 43
} | AITA for cancelling a date because of an "innocent" question? | I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks and we hit it off immediately. We even had a short coffee date during lunch break, and we were on the same vibe. He was funny, charming, similar sense of humor. Everything went great. I should add that we had sex talks as well, discussing kinks and stuff.
So we decide to have a real date and then he asks if I'm on birth control. I think a few hours and cancel the date. He was confused saying it's just an innocent question, unlike all the stuff we talked about before. And we were both hinting that we will have sex on the first date, so what's wrong about birth control question?
My reasoning is this: if a guy is about to have sex with someone he just met, he MUST be jumping out of his way to use condom. It's a MUST no matter how many times we flirted dirty. And if he even thinks of not using a condom with a girl he just met, that means he was likely to do it before, which means he is at a much higher risk of having an STD and I'm not cool with that.
I don't trust people who even entertain the idea of having sex with a person they don't know without a condom. I can't risk that even if he ends up using a condom. Doesn't matter that we discussed the sex positions or what we like in bed. I want to feel safe and I don't feel safe even if he thinks of not using a condom on a first date even for a second.
Hope I explained my reasoning well. Question is - am I the asshole for that line of reasoning? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 43,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 43
} | WRONG |
fzwNUgpodCbPCVcGkLheMdpl0ZKaRed1 | b3n5nz | {
"description": "not telling my friends why I'm mad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling my friends why I'm mad? | Me(15f)&two friends,my bff Mia&a friend Ava went to the mall 2 days ago. Ava is super pretty&charismatic but lies, gossips&makes mean jokes ALOT. Mia is a nice person but sometimes when shes around Ava she gets way bitchier.
So we go to the mall&decide to pick outfits for each other. We go to the changing rooms,show off the outfits etc. Afterwards I get out of the outfit&begin hanging all the clothes up on the hangers. Opposite me I hear Ava barge into Mias changing room (curtain doors)
“Omg! What if I wasn’t changed!” Mia exclaims.
Me, still in bra&underwear, calls over to them to NOT TO COME IN because I’m not changed. But what do you know, about 1 min later as I finish hanging the clothes up Ava rips open the curtain.
I am VERY insecure about my body&all my friends know this. At this point im eating 500cals a day to try&lose all this fat. Ava&Mia look at me in my bra&undies &crack up laughing at me. Then Ava finally closes the curtain. Im humiliated. I feel exposed&ugly&fat. Once im out I tell them my mum texted&i had to go.
At school the next day im cold to them both. I still felt disgusting&humiliated by what they did. Mia notices but has no clue why I was mad. She texts me&asked what happened. I eventually say ‘ava does shitty things&you always go along w/ it&it makes me feel like shit’. she apologizes for ‘whatever she did’ &we agree to move on
Except, school today, she was cold&distant. I tried talking to her but she barely acknowledges me. I’m confused not because i’m a hypocrite but because she asked for us to move on. I decide that if she didn’t want to move past it, fine,&I stop trying to be friendly. Then I overhear her telling Ava what I texted her (in confidence)@ recess. @ lunch Mia asked if we can talk&I said sure. We go outside&she wants to know why I was mad at her, but I hate talking about insecurities&still feel humiliated so I say I don’t wanna talk abt it&just that we should move on. THE MOMENT we get back inside Ava whisks her off ‘to go to their lockers’. A friend,Liv, then tells me that the two had been confronting her earlier&trying to make her say why I was annoyed Apparently, Ava told her she ‘simply nudged the curtain a little bit&immediately closed it&apologized profusely’ when Liv asked if anything happened at the mall. Ava denied laughing@me&Mia said nothing. I get back to the lunchroom&Ava&Mia are there. Then Liv demands we resolve our problems&starts clearing every1 out the room to leave us alone. I bolt because I know theyre as pissed as I am&I hate talking about my insecurities. Liv follows&apologizes. When we get back to the room, Ava fixes me with a glare&leaves w/ Mia trotting behind her like a lost puppy. Afterschool me&Mia make eyecontact at our lockers but we dont talk.
I feel like shit&I don’t know whose in the wrong. Mias generally a really good friend & i wish things hadn’t gone like this. There is more but this is the main stuff that happened.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
l2rNcDBsPgM3OEO6wRAcaf6r8XIhkFMl | b9r9n2 | {
"description": "leaving negative feedback on my personal trainer",
"pronormative_score": 51,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving negative feedback on my personal trainer? | I paid for 10 sessions of personal training just to learn some basics so I could start working out on my own afterwards.
My trainer assured me multiple times that at the end of the 10 sessions I would receive a personalized exercise plan with all my baseline statistics.
On the last day, instead of going over this exercise plan as promised, he aggressively tried to sell me on one of his group classes. I’m bad at saying no so I just said I would have to think about it and I would let him know. He said to come in on Wednesday for free.
On Monday he texted me asking if I made up my mind. I politely declined, thanked him for the excellent training, and asked if I should still come in on Wednesday (assuming this would be when I would get my exercise plan). He didn’t respond, which was odd because he usually responds fairly quickly.
Wednesday morning I text him “is everything alright?” and he promptly replies with a long ass sales pitch text telling me how he “doesn’t give this deal to everybody” and “it’s a crazy no brainer bro.” He offered to give me the whole first month free. I again explained that I would love to but could not for financial reasons and would hate to waste his time by taking the free month. He did not respond.
A week later I get an email from the gym asking for feedback on my training experience. I wrote something like “Not a great experience. Was promised a personalized exercise plan but just got an aggressive sales pitch and he stopped replying to my texts after I politely declined.”
I thought this was anonymous but apparently not because a few days later I got a super defensive text message from my trainer asking why I didn’t just ask about the plan, that he wasn’t ignoring me he just “gets busy,” and that he “went above and beyond to take care of me.”
He’s right that I could’ve just asked about the exercise plan, but I felt like I was being ignored, and I figured it’s not worth the trouble cause i can easily just make one myself or find one online.
I thought he was really nice during the training so I feel bad that I may have gotten him disciplined for no reason.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 49,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 51,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
B2Pqp0B9lp7muPi5rfilHubvDznZI7eb | b00gur | {
"description": "hating anybody that talks about autism",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for hating anybody that talks about autism? | I grew up high functioning autistic, and I’ve been constantly reminded of how I should hate myself for it. Whenever I see someone on say, a YouTube comment section saying they have autism or whatever, I want to flame them in the reply. Am I the asshole? Or are the people that bullied me into this the assholes? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
YM00wf3lqplcLuryx7GqnDPYoWrlezcV | aaq1c3 | {
"description": "asking my parents to stay off their phones when we spend time together",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my parents to stay off their phones when we spend time together? | I’m away at school so when I visit home I try my best to only be on my phone during my alone time (first thing when I wake up or late at night when I’m alone in my room) but my parents are often on Facebook or playing some mobile game when we are all in the living room together. I told my dad I thought it was a little rude since I don’t get to come home very often and he became extremely defensive, stating that just because I was home for the weekend didn’t mean that he had to entertain me. Am I the asshole for asking for his time? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zLGp5y9m2JfkNYfNaAZqg3Vpbtgmfvmn | b9b390 | {
"description": "exposing an acquaintances for plagiarizing someone's work",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA if I exposed an acquaintances for plagiarizing someone's work | So long story short.
A dude from my grade decided last year that he wanted to be a rich artist. His qoal from the start was to earn a lot of money, at least that's how he talks about it in interviews.
During this year he has gotten a lot of exposure, he is working together with our parish and earning a respectable amount of money for a high schooler. I believe that recently he even got his own art show at another city and has held multiple ones here where he lives.
Then I discovered something. All of his art work looks heavily inspired by an artist named Basquiat. So heavily, that when I showed pictures to my friends, they all immediately saw similarities. (For an example the dude from my school paints the exact same faces and adds words, just like Basquiat does, only my acquaintance doesn't write them out completely. Even the colours are mostly same)
Now the dude is kind of an ass also, he thinks he is better than everyone and pretends to be this serious artist. After he started earning money from his paintings his ego went through the roof and most people would agree.
So I've been doing silent exposing already, showing Basquiat's works to my friends and making them aware, but I could do more.
Our school has a popular account on Instagram that over half of the students follow and it only posts memes of our school, a way to vent our frustrations. Nobody knows who runs it, but it's secretly me and my friend.
My friend after hearing about this had an idea to post about it on our page, but I argued against it. Yes, the dude is a douche. Yes, the things he does are wrong. But, I don't want to make him feel like shit.
It feels to me like it is morally wrong to expose someone like that, especially because the dude himself has a lot of problems with his family and in his personal life.
So, Reddit, would I be the asshole if I exposed him for plagiarizing a famous artist's work? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
TLaAQz74KbwPjHdF4Wj8aWiQkwiW0XEH | b3f5kn | {
"description": "wanting break up with GF because she insists on having kids if we ever got married",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 20
} | AITA for wanting break up with GF because she insists on having kids if we ever got married? | I've been in a relationship with a woman for 4 years and we've done pretty well so far and have moved in together. However, on the topic of having children it's always contentious.
We've talked about marriage and she always brings up how she wants children. I'm not so excited about it but if I did, I would rather adopt if we did have kids, but to be honest I'd rather have none at all.
For me, I don't want to give them any of the genes I have that gave me horrible anxiety since I was really young that really interfered with my daily life. Plus, I think the world is regressing with irreversible climate change and as resources and geographies change in the next 40-50 years, I can't say the quality of life would be something I would be looking forward to.
GF will not budge. She wants "her own" kids and to me that's really selfish. I understand why - since it's your biologic compulsion to reproduce - but logic can override impulse and I'd rather have none at all or adopt.
It's driving a serious wedge, but I honestly think I'm in the right. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 28,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 20
} | RIGHT |
TZ8B8SowIUjr5d4QTQzD6wZ4f0fXvuYO | b2g5je | {
"description": "moving out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for moving out? | My mom, my brother(42) and I(30) lived together and shared expenses on an apartment. Since I went to med school that was paid by my mom and my brother, as soon as I graduated my brother sat down with me and said that it was only fair that now I should return the favor and let them breath a little financially speaking. So all the bills were shared in the following way: 50% paid by me (who earned the most), 30% by my brother and 20% by my mom. I stayed home for 5 years after graduating. But my dream has always been to marry and have my own family. I met the man of my dreams, but he lived in Norway. At that time Brazil was going through a very terrible economy and I was also not doing well with my health and I ended up being unemployed for 8 months. I sought for jobs every single day but they were simply not hiring. By then my brother was already very pissed at me, because if it was for him I'd have had a governmental job as a coroner or labor doctor. Which I never wished to work with. But they are extremely stable jobs which you can't lose unless you make a terrible mistake.
In my field one finds jobs online, there is no such thing as going door to door and delivering CVs. So since I was unemployed anyway, I decided to come to Norway and spend time with my then boyfriend. My brother only got more pissed at me and said I was wasting my time "playing doll house"(sorry, I don't know how to translate this. He insinuated that me living with my boyfriend and taking care of his 2 kids was just a kid's play). I reassured him repeatedly that I was looking for a job and just couldn't find one. Even tried out of my state without any luck.
He slowly started avoiding me and stopped talking to me as much. Then I got married and moved here to Norway. He never even congratulated me. I confronted him about his whole attitude as it was deeply hurting me as we had always been best friends and he is a father figure to me. He said that I abandoned the family. I tried explaining that I had finally found the right person and in a new country I'd have so many opportunities. But he insisted on his point and said that if I had found a good man he would have helped me financially so I could honor my share with the bills. But I never thought it was my husband's place to give me money for anything.
It has now been 2 years since he stopped talking to me and my mom tries her best to convince him to change his mind but he won't budge. I harbor no harsh feelings against him and I have forgiven him over this whole thing and I just want him back in my life. But his persistence on the point just makes me wonder if I am the asshole in this whole situation!?
Thank you for reading. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
hTICODvTNEY1QQY7O7oMhSHnOKF1SQ9B | b3rqw0 | {
"description": "expecting an adult not to swing my 4 year old by one arm during tee ball practice",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for expecting an adult not to swing my 4 year old by one arm during tee ball practice? | My 4 and 6 year old started baseball for the first time this season. Yesterday, the third day of practice my 4 year old, a “parent helper” (coach came at the end of practice) took my son by his hand and swung him 5 times as fast as he could in a circle. After the shock of what happened wore off and after witnessing my son cry and scream while laying in the dirt, team mom goes over. Practice was almost over, so at the end I told her to please speak with the coach and the parent and tell them not to do that. 1. It’s dangerous and could harm him and 2. He was visibly upset (and stated today he did not want to return). Now, I do regret not running over and telling the parent right then to never do it, but I didn’t want to make a scene in front of my son and 12 other 4 year olds.
AITA if I bring this up again today before practice starts? I plan on talking to the coach and the man again and restating to not touch him or play rough with him.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SKQ4BD2y7V2lYYzgXULIQsRpTiO7AAZJ | 9ygtfj | {
"description": "wanting to kick a relative out of our house",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to kick a relative out of our house? | My aunt is 45+ years old, she's still pretty strong and healthy and she's been living with us for about half a year now. The first two months of her not helping out in the house was okay because I thought she was just trying to adjust to our way of living. Our week goes like this, during the weekdays me and my brother have classes while my mom works, we all go home together, clean the house a little and cook dinner. Now that our aunt is at home, she literally does nothing the whole day, and just waits for us to cook, she eats and leaves the table. Me, mom and my brother would divide the tasks, I would clean the table, mom does the dishes and my brither throws the garbage out. She literally does nothing, and on weekends we work together dping our weekly general cleaning. And still she does nothing, she just stays in her bedroom watching YouTube and goes out when there is food on the table. My aunt says that she wants to help around the house but uses the excuse "My legs hurts dear" all the time. Me and mom complains about how lazy she is. But we pity her because if we kick her out she has no where else to go. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DpcIoVx5GTpkLGvwJ908AbGXT5QclsWU | aa2f3i | {
"description": "laughing at my dad's greenhouse getting destroyed",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For laughing at my dad's greenhouse getting destroyed? | Now, this already sounds pretty bad for me, but you got to hear me out here. So about three years prior, my dad built a greenhouse, it was a big deal, cost a lot of money, and you know just took a lot of energy. This thing was expected to last a while, which is part of the irony of the situation when last year, a storm came in and pretty much destroyed our entire backyard- the greenhouse included. We were away on kind of a vacation while this happened, and some neighbors of ours' sent us pictures and we got to see the desolated greenhouse pieces all over the place. My dad was really sad, understandably, but for some unexplainable reason, I got the giggles and started laughing my ass off at this. My dad got so mad, and he still talks to me like it was my fault the greenhouse got blown over. This is the situation.
I don't think I'm in the wrong here, yes it was disrespectful, but that doesn't mean I necessarily am at fault. It's not really fair to proclaim me at wrong when you can't even really help laughing, it just happens, and I tried to play it off, but he saw it immediately. Laughing is not something I can control, especially when we just keep seeing more. And even if it was, the greenhouse was not good for our family regardless, it was built to make us money, but after almost three years, it didn't even pull half back of what it cost us. The thing was hurting us more than anything, and stopping my dad from getting a more well-paying job that could actually get us more money, which I think is the whole reason we had it to begin with.
Fortunately, the greenhouse was covered on insurance, and we got another one built back up in its place. This one is even better than the last one, so I've been kinda off the hook, but he still reminds me every now and then of what I did. AITA here? Laughing is beyond my control, and I couldn't help myself at all, I think this is kinda an overreaction. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
O1hGnpwT4oGPVix9lrWyWsnQ131IAKMC | b43p6j | {
"description": "looking to marry for money/status",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for looking to marry for money/status? | I'm very open about this and its annoyed people many times. I'm a young guy with 500k (bitcoin) and oxbridge degrees, and refuse to date anyone without an oxbridge degree and a similar amount of money, which basically means I've got to give up on looking for people I like as a person. Why? Because I grew up in a council estate, met basically zero people from similar backgrounds at oxbridge (been to both, no everyone isn't David Cameron Junior but still a huge difference between there and normal life) or at work, and am painfully aware how lucky I have been and I won't be able to guarantee my kids oxbridge place, job, wealth etc alone. The rest of my family are stuck in minimum wage jobs, criminals etc same thing for most people I knew growing up. If I was infertile, I wouldn't care in the slightest about money or intelligence, it is solely to secure my children's future. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
pJ6drqo1lbLZgSDK2BGGsj0svnYe74Kl | b74xc6 | {
"description": "not wanting to participate in my coworkers personal training session",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to participate in my coworkers personal training session? | So to preface, I work at a company that is big on fitness and many of my coworkers - myself included - are personal trainers, yoga instructors, so forth whatnot outside of our collective job. We receive a monthly stipend to go workout wherever we want.
I was invited by a coworker to attend a training session that is led by another coworker who is a personal trainer. The PT is charging everyone $15 to attend and we are allowed to use our stipend to go. I’m not losing any money by attending but I don’t want to “pay” for something that I can quite literally do myself. I too am a personal trainer and furthermore, I feel like I wouldn’t charge my coworkers to do a workout with me, let alone $15 per person.
I have told the coworker who invited me that I may be busy that day so there hasn’t been any confrontation but AITA for even thinking that the PT is kind of tactless and not wanting to go?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kBaBXAxjslRGbtRBt9NGHwJZNKJjPOkO | a7nzk3 | {
"description": "not wanting to give money to my inlaws for their wedding",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting to give money to my inlaws for their wedding? | Well really they are renewing their vows. They have been together for 24 years this January it will be the 25th year together so they are going all in on wedding ideas, which of course is going to cost a lot of money and a lot of support from family. I work 2 jobs as of right now in security and go to school full time. Just getting out of a hole I've dug myself in from not being a responsible adult and managing my money poorly. My wife is going to help her parents out of course and expects me to give $200.00 of my own money, which I have worked long hours for. I am usually not the selfish kind of person, but I really don't want to help out with money. I respect them and willing to support in other ways. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
eYp8KSBkV4L4mdVCBv2nnbLCTrjav7c7 | amcvpb | null | AITA | Last night I made dinner for my husband and I. I made shrimp tacos with broccoli slaw. I prepped the broccoli slaw earlier in the day. When he got home I finished up the shrimp and asked him when he would like to eat and he said ASAP so I started cooking the shrimp.
As the shrimp was cooking I told him that the broccoli slaw was leftover from my lunch that I never ate. He said that he didn’t want to eat it then and that it was old and had been coming back and forth from work with me, which was not true. He said that he wanted to eat HIS leftover slaw from HIS lunch earlier this week but I had already mixed them together. He still didn’t want to eat it.
I got mad because I had planned out a meal and felt like my work and I was disrespected and that he was being rude. He got mad at me because he felt like I was trying to control him and he should be able to eat whatever he wants to eat.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
X4DHtM7mxcHYcznVykjNKXqpRQPuEq6t | a6jj43 | {
"description": "sleeping with a girl my friend wanted",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for sleeping with a girl my friend wanted ? | This happened last night.
I live in a student hall, and I hangout with a nice group of neighbors. They're super friendly, we drink beers, smoke weed and listen to awesome vinyls.
I'm used to hanging out with one particular dude, we like to have deep conversations about life, relationships etc. We'll call him Tim.
The other day Tim told me that he has eyes on a certain girl. Erica. Erica has a boyfriend, but he's still attracted to her. She put him in the friendzone and leads him on by going on dates. They even slept together, but did nothing. She just likes taunting guys.
Last night we're having a party at Tim's place, and Erica is there. She keeps looking at me the whole night. Her friend Tiffany went to my ear and told to me :
- "Go on, she likes you. You can bring her home tonight!".
- "No way. Tim has eyes on her and he has kind of a crush. I can't do that to him".
- "Who cares ? It's only your neighbor".
I still refuse and tell her that I can't do that to Tim. She asked me "do you like her ?" and I said yeah, she's hot.
She made obvious suggestions that there was something going on between me and Erica in front of everyone, including Tim. I was so embarassed. I didn't know how to react.
On one hand, last year I broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 years. Her memories were kind of surfacing again these past few days, and it felt really good to have a hot girl hitting on me. On the other hand, I feel weird about it because of Tim.
Tiffany told me "Okay. She told me nothing will happen. She just needs a place to stay". I finally give up and say fine, ok. But he can't know.
Her friend says "I'm going to say to Tim that she's going to sleep at my place. Then she can just go to your place instead."
She does that, and then they leave, and other people as well.
Tim then says to me "Damn it ! Erica was probably going to sleep here tonight, until Tiffany suggested she go with her! Fuck." It seemed to really affect him.
I said "yeah... Fuck. That sucks." and then I hung around for one last beer and left to my place.
I then meet Erica. She says "I have a boyfriend. I just didn't want to sleep with Tim." I replied "Yeah sure, whatever. I got space it's no big deal."
While we were together in bed, I felt a bit awkward. She's quite younger than me (she's 20 I'm 27). I didn't really know what to talk about. She made sure not to sleep close enough, so I felt weird trying to make any move towards her. Next morning, I'm feeling horny as hell. I think "fuck it, I'm making a move". So I start touching her around. Pretty soon I have my hand under her top. She's pretty into it and she puts her arm around me. I keep working on it, and I slowly approach the vagina. And right there she says "no. you can play, but until there. I have a boyfriend".
I didn't feel comfortable about it so I didn't go any further. =.And got the bluest balls ever.
Now I feel weird vis a vis of Tim. Am I the asshole for sleeping with her ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
s0xsFUCPr63AROg8sF006jM5Ghas0kNx | b57hmy | {
"description": "letting my 2nd grade students suffer after eating hot cheetos",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for letting my 2nd grade students suffer after eating Hot Cheetos | I teach second graders. Sometimes during lunch/supper I'll catch them eating Hot Cheetos. They're not supposed to bring outside food, and are just to eat what we give them (not our rule, but a rule mandated by the State agency that supplies us food), but sometimes they'll sneak it in their backpacks or get it from the older kids.
Of course, they'll run up to me, jumping up and down with their tongues sticking out, asking if they can get water.
At first, I told them to get water and lectured them about following the rules of our program (no outside food), but after multiple times, I've grown kind of bitter. So since I'm already annoyed at them for breaking the rules, now I'll just feign ignorance and act like I didn't hear them as they jump up and down asking for permission to get water. I'll do this for a good 10 seconds then tell them to go, lecturing them along the way.
Part of me feels bad, but the other part says this is the consequence of their actions. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
dHsYF0EGNoxeYTBho6LbNd90G0e575Pj | b7g147 | {
"description": "telling a friend that I wouldn't date her hypothetically because of her age",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for telling a friend that I wouldn’t date her hypothetically because of her age? | I have this friend who I met at my last job. We got along really well so we stayed friends after I left. We try to get together once or twice a month. There was a time when she was pretty blatant about flirting with me, but I wasn’t interested in that and basically just played dumb and oblivious and she stopped eventually.
Lately she’s been having a hard time dating. It’s been a consistent topic of conversation. She does online dating and has been getting matched and then ghosted. I’ve just been trying to be a good friend. Telling her not to give up, there’s someone out there looking for you too, etc.
We were having a few drinks yesterday afternoon and she brings up her latest bad date. I think we were both a tiny bit buzzed and she was the mopey kind of buzzed. She went on about how she doesn’t get what the problem is and then listed off her good qualities. Then she asked me straight out if I would date her hypothetically. It was instantly uncomfortable for me. It brought back the awkward period of time she used to flirt with me.
I just felt like I had to make it clear once and for all that I was not a potential partner. Like I said I was buzzed and may have taken the hypothetical more to heart than I should have, but I really don’t know given our history. I just pretty much blurred out an honest answer to her. I probably wouldn’t date anyone in her age range. That I want to have a lot of kids one day and not have to rush anything to do so. I felt like garbage immediately, but at the time I really didn’t want to take it back. She just made a joke about me being a pig. I tried changing the subject, but shortly after she had to leave.
I texted her today apologizing if I was rude and blaming it on the drink, but she’s not responding. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
xPMDf4OBAuTh0CrvQh0A7DYpft6HGNh9 | aidur1 | {
"description": "leaving for another country to chase my dreams and cut contact with my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA If I left for another country to chase my dreams and cut contact with my family | My dream is to be in some sort of military service as a grunt/infantry my current plan is to a) join the FFL or b) join the USMC (yes I know there are many challenges I will have to face if I try either one of these options)
However my plan also involves cutting contact with my family as I have a strong dislike for almost all of everyone within my family due to
A) my extended family being a bunch of judgemental lazy assholes
B) my close family member who is insane and refuses to get help no matter how much I try to suggest it/convince her and almost every interaction devolves into a screaming match (I get that it’s not their fault but I can’t handle it anymore)
C) my other close family who just ignore my existence almost entirely (we do have okay interactions on the odd occasion)
The only people I enjoy hanging with are my mates, to me they’re more like family but we’re all kind off splitting off to do our own thing i.e uni, full time work ect ect so basically to me it feels like there’s there’s nothing for me here in my current situation as I’m currently just working a dead end job
I don’t plan on telling anyone my plans or when I’m leaving as I don’t want to have to deal with the shitstorm that’ll arise from it
There are a few members of my family who I really do care about though and those are the few people I really am sad about leaving behind but I hope to stay in contact with them after I leave
P.s if this does come off as me seeking validation I apologise and that wasn’t my intention, I sincerely do want to know if you guys think this is a asshole move or not | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
wu9lg6x8lN5n0gbPmpztIUcpqr4Mmv7Z | a4xgoz | {
"description": "not pitching in much on chores while renting a room in landlord's house",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not pitching in much on chores while renting a room in landlord's house? | Pretty straightforward scenario but I'd like some outside opinions. I rent a room in a guy's house and it just the two of us. We have no formal agreement of any sort in place. He is an energetic person, constantly on the move, cleaning, doing household upkeep, etc. The chores I do frequently are those that are personal to me, specifically I do my laundry, clean my bathroom, do my dishes, wash the counter after I'm done. I always put away my stuff and never leave it strewn around the house. I occasionally pitch in on mowing the lawn and I have shoveled the driveway multiple times so far this winter. Our trash is picked up weekly and I take it out when he's not home. I turn the lights off when I'm leaving and I generally act as respectfully as I can.
​
Recently, roommate has started calling me out for not doing chores in helping him maintain the house. Told me I should pitch in on vacuuming, cleaning the guest bathroom (which I've never used), washing floors, and I get the impression he just generally wants me to do more around the house. I never do any of these things. I never refused to help out but I'm wondering if I'm acting like an asshole by not doing any of it. TBH I feel like I'm a pretty damn good roommate by doing the stuff that I do, while the rest of his house is his responsibility. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
IRGLHeBnJJUcYBSNdhql4pkeXCHyHSrT | aodk7x | {
"description": "not helping my incompentent co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not helping my incompentent co-worker? | As described. I do help him when he asks but I'm getting really sick of it.
He's been here for months and this job is very easy, yet he's still making mistakes you would expect on day one.
It's gotten to the point I no longer proactively help him when I see him screwing something up unless I have to.
This almost always leads to him floundering and getting a bit embarrassed.
But here's the thing, he's a lovely person. It's nothing personal at all, I'm just sick of having to do everything twice.
So Reddit, AITA?
Should I be more helpful and understanding or, should I let him crash an burn?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0TuCU7kt7RD5g49kXfYOO05fFHQyRUZ9 | 9uxv7h | {
"description": "not defending a friend who is \"instagram famous\"",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not defending a friend who is “instagram famous”? | I have this friend who is “instagram famous”. She says she a model (not with a professional agency$ all she does is post pics of her butt, her in skimpy clothes and her with her cameltoe showing. We went out to eat earlier and a random person noticed her and said “you’re the girl with the fat ass on instagram. Can I have your number?” She got annoyed and asked me to defend her (her profile states she’s single and chasing the money), I didn’t, simply because she chose to post those pictures and gather a million random people on her page who she doesn’t know personally. She then said I was a bad friend because I didn’t “hold her down”. So Reddit AITA for not helping my friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
v05upSfmLF7IrlRuShtOZKBlBKXi1mcS | ar70z8 | {
"description": "getting angry when my fiance can't find something in my bag",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry when my fiance can't find something in my bag? | Ok, this happens once a week or so. Either he wants something out of my back pack (we're world travelers and live out of our bags) or I'm asking a favor of him to get something that I can't get to right now (like just a few minutes ago I asked him to bring me the wet wipes because I forgot them but was already in the bathroom and couldn't get up) sorry, tmi. If he can't find the thing within 10 seconds, or if the thing isn't exactly in the place I thought it was, he'll start dumping everything out onto the closest surface, be it the countertop, bed, or floor. He rarely asks where it is, doesn't double check himself, just dumps all the shit wherever he can, sometimes even tossing it. Oh, and he never apologizes for making a mess of my things, and he never cleans it up because he "didn't want to touch anything else because [I'll] just get more mad". (Yes, I actually mean "never". He doesn't apologize unless it's something HUGE, like big big deal.) Yes, it's my fault for not knowing where my stuff is, but AITA for getting angry with him when he dumps my stuff out? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
eNR2rEbEk6P882IogeY8rPv2oLK4IqvS | ayzrd7 | {
"description": "looking through a girl's social media to figure out who she is",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for looking through a girl's social media to figure out who she is? | This question actually stems from another conversation I had online- not reddit though.
So, I'm in high school. I have a crush on this girl, let's call her Maya. Usually when I talk to someone I get them to talk about themselves and/or topics they're interested in, their hobbies, etc.
And on Maya's Instagram bio (we follow each other), she has a VSCO, which if you don't know if basically a place where people edit and store their photos. Basically, a lot of people post hundreds or thousands of photos on vsco but put only a few on Instagram. This is because a lot of people, Maya included, vsco pictures of daily life.
Anyway, her vsco is linked in her Instagram bio. So I clicked on it, hoping to get some kind of idea what kind of person she is. And I really did. I learned what books she loves, how she's artsy, a romantic, her political affiliations, etc. I used this when talking to her, asking her about poetry, old movies, etc.
I was mentioning this is another forum with some people I know online, and people called me a stalker. I don't think I'm anything close to a stalker when I'm literally using info she linked to in her bio. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, but I want to either confirm or deny this.
So, aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6nkWULq8kOULwQGeU0iSTuV2Drgj8WEN | b73oki | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend to not bring her period up",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For telling my girlfriend to not bring her period up? | Me(21M) and my girlfriend (20F) have been dating for about a few months.
I unfortunately have a really bad case of food poisoning right now, so I honestly don't feel good.
My girlfriend had been kind enough to visit me once a while. It just sucked because she would make it a point to tell me that she came even though she was on her period.
When I asked for some water, she again came to me and said that she got me water even though she had her period.
She kept bringing it up again and again even after I said thank you as if she expected me to bow down to her.
I mean, I have helped her when she had periods or fever while I had a really bad headache, I don't think it's something to pressurise my SO with.
I was tired and didn't converse much with her so she went on this whole rant about how I didn't realise how amazing she was being and men didn't know the pain or something like that.
I told her I would honestly manage better on my own and politely asked her to leave.
I just found the whole thing pretty pointless. But she seems pissed....so I don't know for sure. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
WoAUOR5B2RUO1YNl0FdqgjbyoFbb4Ted | andyy7 | {
"description": "sending my wife a Paypal money request",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for sending my wife a Paypal money request? | We split the weekly cost of groceries. I do the shopping every week and she’ll send half the groceries cost via PayPal (usually after me having to ask her 5 or 6 times).
This week instead of going thru all that, I sent a Paypal request to her for half the cost, now she’s literally offended about it.
I honestly don’t see how that’s in any way offensive, and in fact, if anything it made it easier for her. She stomped away and says “I’ll never understand” why she found that so upsetting.
The only thing that comes to mind is that she secretly doesn’t think she should have to contribute towards our family expenses even though she works full time. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
RyjWACTQu4MKzu2exorPIOUrscwBhOWj | aa4eqk | {
"description": "leaving a friend of mine for her mental illness",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving a friend of mine for her mental illness? | I knew this girl, I’ll refer to her as M.
M and I have known each other for years, but recently she’s been struggling mentally. I would help her anyway I could, until she started making up issues. She would tell me how she has multiple personalities and she told me of voices she heard. Although I have no proof as to wether she heard voices or not, I knew she didn’t have multiple personalities. It was evident she just needed attention, attention I tried to offer her.
Anyways, M and I were sat outside in my backyard and she suddenly kisses me without much warning. I push her back and ask what had gotten into her, after all, she has a boyfriend. She claims she’s going through a ‘personality switch’.
After she left my house I haven’t made any effort to contact her. AITA for ghosting my mentally ill friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
062JsYQ5yeQDJg9ksbY5MKKrzcR5okfy | a2bt8e | {
"description": "telling my partner to cut off someone she onky spoke to in hopes of a fling",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I told my partner to cut off someone she onky spoke to in hopes of a fling? | For context me and this woman have decided to become a couple in an exclusive relationship, I honestly feel like she's the love of my life. Both of us have kept our previous love lives rather hush as it honestly doesn't seem to matter.
Both of us decided to have a night on the town and after a date we had planned as she wanted a casual setting in which I could meet her friends and I obliged as I honestly want to know all I can about her.
At one point in the night the conversation turns to someone's name I recognise as someone who my partner regularly speaks to on snapchat, I asked who this person was and he was described "someone who doesn't have the balls to fuck me." It was left at that, I was rather perplexed and thought nothing of it until this guy showed up later that night, to which my partner acted as warmly as she has with anyone that night. She introduced me and he went on his way and he was never spoken of again. I asked her best friend why she still talks to him if all she wanted was sex and she couldn't answer and told me that she'd have my back if it progressed but I feel like if I don't mention it to my partner directly this could become an issue down the line.
Would I be the asshole if I confronted her about this, would it be fair to ask her not to talk to this guy so regularly? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
uod0I99ZYQwJGbP35D0Hu0UJZVrgqnLt | 9w5vxj | {
"description": "yelling at my mom for lying about getting my Bearded Dragon a bigger tank",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Yelling At My Mom For Lying About Getting My Bearded Dragon A Bigger Tank? | This is not me. This is truly for my cousin who's too young to have a Reddit account.
Tl;Dr Is my cousin Dominick (11) the asshole for getting into a fight with his mom because she doesn't want to get an appropriate sized tank for his beardie, because she says he doesn't need it (but does)?
His mom got him a bearded dragon (adult, super tame, former breeder, lemon yellow, 4 years old) for his birthday. He's 11 so obviously he doesn't have money to take care of him but it's still his pet, he just gets help from his mom for buying the things that the beardie needs.
With it she bought a 20 gallon long tank. This is way too small for a 16 inch beardie.
Herbert is well taken care of. They live in AZ so the little guy gets to hang out outside while he's at school in a secured backyard habitat (chicken wire, a boxy thing in the ground so if he digs he can't escape, even has a camera that tracks movement since beardies don't move much, and has a door thing so he can get inside) The rest of the time he's either in his cage or hanging out with my cousin.
His mom buys Herbert's food and does everything else pretty well for him, including taking my cousin to the store often to buy him fresh vegetables and fruits that are safe for beardies, buying the necessary vitamins for him, buying a setup for dubia roaches to feed to him, and literally buying clothes for him. Also takes him to a vet whenever needed.
She says he won't need a bigger cage because he spends a lot of time outside. However he's obviously uncomfortable with the tank because he wall surfs and taps on the glass, there isn't much room for him, it's a basking rock cave thing, food, hammock and a wood branch thing.
They can afford a large tank easily and have plenty of room to do so. My aunt has a really good job and makes 120k per year, big house and central air lol. She just says it's fine apparently.
My cousin got in a fight with her because she says Herbert doesn't need a big tank, but even the vet said she should and my cousin does too. He has plenty of space in his room for it and just needs his mom to buy it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6QFr6yHXbExRS6lHzJYJ894KhsFBAG6r | 9wndel | {
"description": "unfriending my best friend for refusing to associate with my toxic ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for unfriending my best friend for refusing to associate with my toxic ex? | I dated a girl for a while that was always pushing the relationship faster than I was comfortable with. It was very up and down, mostly down. Took me 6 months and a threat to file a court order to get her to move out. Then to get revenge, she fucked one of my good friends.
My best friend was my only real connection to the friend that fucked my ex and didn't want to get in the middle so tried to be friends with everyone. I felt by doing this he condoned their actions. Also, every time I would hang out with him he would let slip stupid stuff about them, no matter how many times I asked him not to because it would send me into a depression for several days. I then told him I couldn't continue to be his friend while he continued to associate with her.
The ex and ex-friend she fucked broke up a few months later so my friend had no good reason to stay friends with her and has made it clear that he wants to become friends again. So I told him I was open to it, but only if he cut ties with my ex. He doesn't seem to get why it's such a big deal... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
e2pYZXBWeAS055sB7SMhxBGVj6YLY9nK | av4172 | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to look after my kids",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to look after my kids? | Hello people. My name is Matt (or let’s say it is anyway) and I am a 44-year-old dude with two kids, 8 and 14. Their mother, my ex wife, lives abroad at the moment and I have full time custody as we don’t want to ship ‘em half way across the world every other week.
I started dating a beautiful woman, let’s call her Jessica (32), two years ago now and we are getting on great. She moved in with me and the boys about a year ago and I feel like we are getting used to life together as a family. The boys like her and she is figuring out how to be a mother, which I love her madly for. I can only imagine how hard of a time I would have if I were in her shoes having to get used to a completely new way of life.
About two months ago Jessica lost her job. She is living with me, I’m paying the bills and I fully support her. She doesn’t contribute with any money at this point and I’m okay with it - we’ve all been in tough spots and I love this woman. But then I asked her if she could look after the kids, pick them up after school and so on, and she completely freaks out. Calls me a complete asshole for using her as a babysitter and says that I am not taking the responsibility I should be taking as a father.
I have struggled as a dad in the past, I wasn’t the most mature man when my kiddos were born and this leads to me taking her comment very close to heart. So I’d really appreciate some comments from a third person perspective. Am I the asshole for asking my unemployed girlfriend to look after the kids on occasion and pick ‘em up from school a couple of days a week?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
pu0OF7xeHjDBHiJHXiBTXltlM1AEjI4f | 9y06hb | {
"description": "being about to kick my brother out of the house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I'm about to kick my brother out of the house? | I (24m) and my brother (21m) share a place together because he wanted somewhere to stay and it would save us money. I know it's not an ideal circumstance but sharing rent and living together was just easiest. It's been about two years. Generally, we get along fine. We don't have a super close relationship but we're still brotherly brothers. He's sometimes lazy, but after some nagging I can get him to help out around the house. Not a huge deal.
Anyways, he hasn't gone to college or really isn't doing much in terms of long-term financial aspect. He dropped out of culinary school when he was 19. Since then, he's worked as a pizza slinger and delivery driver. That's fine, as long as he's working and can pay his rent I didn't have a problem with it. I'm in no position to control him or tell him what he should be doing with his life, and I try not to parent him. However, for the last two months he's been out of a job after getting fired. He became a store manager of the chain and they set him up to fail by telling him, "You need to go manage this store and turn it around, or else you're fired." Well, "this" store was in the roughest part of the city and his coworkers were all drug dealers, wanna be gangbangers, or addicts. He was personally robbed at gunpoint twice there. That location is shit and always will be shit, so they canned him (apparently he didn't get along with the regional manager). They knew he couldn't improve the store.
I get that is beyond his control and shit happens, and I want to help him out. I've been trying to help him find a job and whenever I try having a serious talk with him he doesn't talk much and kinda shuts me out."I don't know." "I guess." "I'm not sure" are the responses I get. I try hinting at him that maybe trade school would be a good option. I know jobs don't fall off trees so I said I'd pay his share of the rent for three or four months until he can get some working shoes. That's no problem, I have the money to do that.
In mid October my boy who works in a management position for a beer and liquor distributor said the company had a job open, a warehouse job that started at $12.60/hr. The applications won't be taken until late November though. If he worked well and liked it there would be opportunities for positional transfers, delivery truck driving, sales, promotions, etc. which would all come with pay raises. I texted my brother and let him know about it and he seemed interested. I talked to him later that night with some more details. We a had a light conversation, and really the only hiccup is they want him to pass a drug tests. He smokes weed occasionally/somewhat frequently (honestly I don't really know how often, but it's not daily), and I asked him if he could try to get his piss clean or if that would be a problem. He said no he'll be okay, and it actually seemed like something he was excited about. Fast forward to last Thursday I bring him the application from my buddy and he said he decided not to apply. Irritated, I asked him why. "Oh well... I uuh, I smoked the other day." You're fucking kidding me. No, I don't care that he gets high. He's an adult and can do what he wants, I was just frustrated beyond all hell that he pretty much lied to me and said he would prepare for the job. Not only did he ruin a good opportunity, he made me look like a dumbass when I told my buddy I'd have a prospective employee for him.
I told him he needed to call mom and dad and see if they'd let him crash there because he's going to be leaving soon. I kind of yelled at him and told him I'm not going to parent him and provide for him if he isn't even trying and he made me look like a dipshit to my friend and all that.
Am I the asshole? I really do want to help him and I don't want our relationship to be strained or awkward for the rest of our lives, but he also needs to understand he has to be able to live independently, work, go to school, or do something that benefits himself. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
9KBnmP27DuReE2aeA5LxTALbDaluGK1h | b2cuk3 | {
"description": "inviting my friend to house sit",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | Aita for inviting my friend to house sit. | So my grandma is going away for a couple of weeks. She asked me to ask my older friend if he wouldn't mind stay here with me. So I am not alone in the house for 2 weeks, trying to fend for myself. Also to help take care of her dogs while I am at work.
My girlfriend doesn't want me to ask. She wants us to have the house to ourselves on the weekends when she is free. I told her that being it is my grandmother's house. I'd like to respect her wishes.
So I asked my friend, if he would mind staying here and house sit with me. Now my gf is mad at me because we for the most part can't walk around a house naked. I told her my dad would be checking in, he'd see he isnt here and tell mt grandma. So I think she is being unfair, when i'm just doing what my grandma told to me to do, in her house. Aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xnz5xSpXHx81KUbzyWtLb6D3TGIFnYWN | agrtym | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to wear her ex's jacket",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to wear her ex's jacket? | So my gf's last boyfriend was in the military, suffered from severe PTSD and committed suicide while dating my GF. My gf and hung on to a few of his things, one of which is his military jacket.
Me and her got in a fight last night because I told her I didn't want her to wear that jacket. I find it really weird to be going out and doing stuff with my girlfriend while she has some other dudes last name plastered on her chest. And she is accusing me of being childish and insensitive. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
eAK3ZShKoxbsM1ntsR8vegBbaRJy3dgS | amg0qy | {
"description": "being \"controlling\" with our income",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being "controlling" with our income? | Backstory: we are in debt. Paying 25 percent of our income to minimum payments. We have about 10 percent of our income after all bills are paid.
My wife wants to "enjoy life while she's young" I want to pay off the debt so we can have more money to spend and enjoy. We have no savings and a daughter.
Last night she asked if she could take money from our date budget (25 a week) to buy pants. I said yes so we go to buy some and she grabs other things so I reminded her that we only have 25 dollars budgeted for it and she got mad and we argued for 2 hours. She pretends like she wants to save but then when time comes she spends whatever she can.
We made twice as much money as we needed last year and it all disappeared. Through tiny purchases.
I work 56 hours a week and get paid more than she does. She works 40 hours a week.
AITA for wanting to not be in debt for the next 6 years? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Gzo6cq8Xn2xeVJKxNCrP7CL95GPxsBNM | 9u2kvg | {
"description": "trying to avoid people associating me with a certain 'friend' of mine",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I try to avoid people associating me with a certain 'friend' of mine? | (Sorry for the probably confusing title, I can't think of one that sums up my situation very well)
This is my first AITA post so please, don't hold back any judgement. Okay so, I'm a junior in high school and this year, a girl has sort of latched onto my friend group. None of us were really friends with her before because most interactions with her go poorly. She tends to be obnoxious and loud and gets offended very easily at thing that aren't intended to offend, despite commonly offending others and saying she is joking. Because of this, Girl does not have many (if any) close friends and is generally disliked in our class. So far this year there have been many problems in my friend group with Girl. Girl has lied about many things, made assumptions and actions that have hurt people, and gotten very upset at not being included in our friend group activities. We feel bad leaving her out but we know (based on past experiences) that inviting her would most likely result in a less enjoyable time. I know that she is probably longing to be part of a group and so her actions may reflect this but things don't seem to be getting better with time.
Now onto my main dilemma with Girl. Personally I believe in trying to be a nice and civil person so I have never openly expressed my dislike of Girl to her and have always tried to include her a little bit, but I have definitely avoided becoming friends with her and avoid her in general. A few weeks ago it was Girl's birthday and I saw her in the morning because we are both part of student council and were required to clean up from the dance that had taken place the night before. I wished Girl a happy birthday and went home. A few hours later she texted me and said "Put me on your \[Snapchat\] story for my birthday" This was the exact text, no "please" or "hey would you mind", or general politeness. Just a direct command and then some photos she wanted me to post. I was very angered this but since it was her birthday and I knew she probably just wanted to feel included I didn't want to say no. I felt that it was rude of her to demand, not even ask, that I post of a photo of her. We are not close friends by any means, we very rarely talk, she has been rude to me and good friends of mine, and I generally reserve social media posts for more important occasions in my life. So I stuck a quick "Happy Birthday!" on the photo and put it on my story, but went through the trouble to make it so that only Girl would see my story (the number of views would be anonymous so she would not know that no one else saw it). I didn't want people thinking that her and I were good friends, and I felt that she was using me to try and get attention on her birthday. I don't like being told what to do and I don't want to be associated with her. Eventually I felt like a jerk because she probably didn't get birthday wishes from people in our grade and no one else was going to post about her, so I allowed everyone to view the post. She didn't say thank you and eventually the story disappeared after 24 hours.
Was I an asshole for going through all that trouble just so people wouldn't think we were friends? Is it worse to be honest and tell her that I can't stand her or is it worse to act like I like her when I actually despise her?
Let me know if there are more details I need to include or if I was an asshole plain and simple. Thanks! | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
FD1xowKRqe1d8kEQPdDy6GCNrQpKb35F | b8almn | {
"description": "being irritated that people keep asking me when I'll get married",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for being irritated that people keep asking me when I’ll get married | I proposed to my s/o in December and announced to everyone that I got engaged. Now, every day someone asks me when I’m getting married. It is extremely irritating and I feel like I can’t breathe. I’ve snapped a few times over people not being understanding that I have no idea when it’s going to happen.
My friend says it’s normal to ask people when they get engaged when the wedding is. Since being engaged is supposed to be the planning stage.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
jheGS7RP4nIUpWw17l4F0clgqOMFiywI | afpapq | {
"description": "not wanting to hug my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to hug my mom? | AITA for not wanting to hug my mom.? God I feel terrible writing this, and didn't mean for this to be that long...
I am almost 30 and live with my parents (yes I'm a bit ashamed of myself but trying to get my life back together again). When I first moved it in with them I think my parents a few years ago they expected me to hug them when I got home from school or work(every single day. They are a bit traditional) I've eased off a bit and only hug my mom when she comes up to me because I feel like it is excessive and I feel I really need my space. I DO not enjoy these interactions and do it purely for her benefit. Coinciding with this is my mom's incessant questions one after another about how my day was. (My days are not that greatly eventful or interesting so I don't know why they expect to hear new things from me every day. Maybe that is my depression talking??? although its something I'm working on.)
I have anxiety talking to them because they are always telling me how to evaluate my life. Since I am not given a lot of psychological space I try as much as I can to be protective of my physical personal space. At the same time I feel like I have to be respectful and make small talk with them. It also seems as if every time I'm near my mom (if we are both in the kitchen at the same time) she is always asking me questions. My mom says she is "extroverted" (and claims, or maybe it's possibly true- that she has undiagnosed ADD, and it is difficult for me to deal with because) I am introverted. I feel like I'm being interrogated and judged all the time. I don't know if she tries to talk to me because she feels like these "conversations" will strengthen our relationship. Every day when my mom comes home she comes over to hug me (but sometimes I am at my boyfriends house, or when I am home I just hide in my room to avoid this awkward interaction.) Now she has been through all sorts of stuff (undiagnosed ADD?), divorce years ago (has since remarried), has had cancer and survived. I feel guilty not wanting to hug her but I also feel like she is a bit oppressive and smothering. Although I would DREAM to move out, I am currently not prepared financially.
​
I know she's been through a lot and just trying to enjoy the later years of her life but:
Do I at least owe her hugs every time she comes home from her work? Should I solely let her initiate?
Let me add that we are 2 completely different people personality-wise, and I find that I am triggered by her. I wish I had a better relationship with her but I don't know if I even can or care to anymore.
​
TLDR: My mom wants to hug me every day, and I want my personal space. Do I owe her my hugs? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
egTdYJedQ6NL3QHqM0mCvZJlqm2DvjrZ | asume2 | {
"description": "not talking to someone",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not talking to someone? | Ok, So I met this girl at college and we became friends and I eventually developed feelings for her due to her humour and how often we would text and call, and work together in class. I confessed how I felt and was shot down and agreed to just be friends but now looking back I've realised how little I actually contributed and when I did I would be ignored or dismissed if she didn't think it was particularly important and previously on call she would say I only call you for the "background noise" and to not feel alone when she's at home but as soon as someone else texts her or her brother comes in she's quick to ignore the fact we're on a phone call so I don't feel like I'm valued as a friend and more as just someone she can call when she's bored of everyone else or no one else wants to talk to her. She's admitted before that she's a flirt and does so for attention claiming it's due to her Freudian personality and admittedly she's not the most attractive girl about average but I still liked her for her personality. Anyway, so I've been trying to get over my feelings for her so we can be friends and so I don't end up hurt when she eventually gets with someone and so I don't end up a bitter and hurt about being in the "friend zone". So, I've been purposefully ignoring and avoiding her whenever she sends one of her vague messages ( she keeps her messages vague and unpersonal so she can send them to more people and start more conversations with people) and told her when she texts me that I don't want to talk right now, but then she claims that I'm being a dickhead for not talking to her, I'm not sure if I'm acting like an asshole for trying to get over my feelings for her or if she's mad cause she's not getting my attention. I suppose on her side it seems like she's rejected me and I'm being salty about it but I've been cool with her after the rejection and talked to her since then but recently I realized I'm still not over her when I got stupidly jealous when she went to a mutual friends party where she admitted the mutual friend had been trying to flirt with her that night, although admittedly he was drunk. She tried calling me a few times tonight so I answered asking what she wanted to which she said she wanted the background noise and then didn't talk so I hung up saying if it wasn't important. She's called me a twat and a dickhead for not talking to her but previously we only talk about things she wants to talk about and I don't feel valued as a friend and more as a backup considering I held her in a high regard. I'm happy to talk to her once I get over my feelings for her but I don't want to explicitly tell her that cause she's already said that "everybody already knows I rejected you"I don't know whether it was a joke but that still hurt as well. So Am I The Asshole for not talking to/ignoring someone? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
sdxdIBNhLgOrg66J5N75L9r1fWeymYer | 9wqh38 | {
"description": "using people as windshields while cycling",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for using people as windshields while cycling? | I live in Holland, so obviously I cycle a lot, going to places in and outside the city.
I live in a rather flat area of the country, so the winds can sometimes rise up to become extremely hard to deal with. I love to cycle at around 30-35 km/h, so for most people that's quite a fast tempo, but during heavy wind, I can only cycle about 5-10 minutes at those speeds before needing a rest.
That's why I use people sometimes as windshields. I cycle behind them, leaving a small gap and lean over my steer. This minimizes the wind from the front and allows me to rest while maintaining decent speed.
Am I the asshole for this? Today I used a man on an electrical bicycle to block the insane winds coming from the front. He was obviously not having a problem with it due to his build-in battery motor, so I made good use of the opportunity, however, after about 10-15 seconds of slipstreaming behind him, he turned around. Irritated by my actions, he told me to either overtake him or stay at a far distance.
I live by the rule that if there's an opportunity for improvement, I should take it, but if it annoys people or makes them uncomfortable, I don't want to do it anymore.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xupmZpkEIYYnhjPtPYzPl708TTxnAHiW | auvq3u | {
"description": "insulting a depressed person (about their depression) after being un reasonably rude to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for insulting a depressed person (about their depression) after being un reasonably rude to me? { Short } | I'll give a bit of a backstory (can skip) I currently go to a non mainstream school, where people like my self have either been bullied or expelled from their old schools, etc. our school aims to give them another chance and help them get on track. In my case, I was bullied. So I can understand how it feels to be attacked for things out of my control. Which is one of the reasons I feel so bad about this and decided to post.
I walked out of my classroom to get a drink, if anything it was more of an excuse to get out of history. I noticed my friend ( Tyson ) sitting on a couch outside, next to who I will refer to as Amy, Amy from what I have observed was often unreasonably rude to everyone around her, but one thing I noticed awhile back was that she had cuts on her wrists. Which is why I usually wouldn't react to her rude remarks towards me.
Okay, backstory done.
Me to Tyson: hey what are you doing out here?
Amy butts in: what are you doing out here, fucking go back inside
I was taken aback by her rude and angry remark, and got irritated and snapped back
Me: oh fuck off
Amy: you fuck off
Me: why are you so rude?
Amy: why are you still alive?
( Stupid response I know, but it was enough to push me over the edge )
Me: says the one with cut wrists
She never responded and I walked on to get my drink, I past her on the way back and she looked extremely upset. I know that what both of us said wasn't right, but was I an asshole for responding? Surely if you are going to to constantly insult people you have to expect someone to snap back.
After this I sat back in my seat and reflected on what I said, and have been stewing in it ever since. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
WddBpqLOcQQ9lNDmivpgwJyXGTLhv7ez | avf0nv | {
"description": "blocking my friend because he made fun of my autistic brother",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for blocking my friend because he made fun of my autistic brother | So backstory:
My brother has autism and he often times don't understand others feelings without clarification. My friend broke up with his girlfriend and was angry. His girlfriend was confirmed to be cheating on multiple men. The girl appeared to be distraught. My brother was friends with the girl and said it was all my friend's fault for breaking up with her. My friend then went on social media and made fun of my brother. He said something along the lines of he is autistic and that is why he is dumb etc. I then unfriended him on social media and ignored him at school. AITA for ignoring my friend because he made fun of my brother's autism? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
Q3yI2k5vZRkAIrHVHXgvTiW7bZzxeDzW | b24wsu | {
"description": "being gross",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being gross? | When I was 16-18 I was deeply depressed.
Chaos in my family. Had serious problems with insomnia, sleep paralysis and eating. My mental health was a distaster. I was autistic\ADD without having any clue. So I experienced all the problems that come with it, without understanding why.
I am usually both cleanly and organised. But many people that have been deeply depressed, can probably relate to how difficult it can be to take care of personal hygiene. On top of this I have sensetive skin. Goosebumps hurt, so "a little chilly" for some is painful to me. Getting undressed, wet and cold to shower in the morning was not worth the pain. I also lived in a poorly isolated cellar, during swedish winter. So yes, in the depth of my despair, I was probably kind of gross.
I had a "friend," that slowly started to hate me. She ganged up with another girl, and they were such stereotypical mean girls, it was nearly amusing. But when I tried to separate myself from them, they would follow me around. This girl often called me disqusting and was very aggressive toward me for being gross. She often punched or pinched me. She would give me nasty looks and remarks out of nowhere. She could easily discard me, my feelings or anything I said. It was like I was AIDS and had killed half her family. At first I just got stomped because it was so uncalled for. Sure, maby I was a bit gross but my grossness was not this horrible thing I put her through. Like her bullying actually was something horrible she was putting me through. But it seemed to her, that my grossness justified her behavior. But I never actually did her anything.
I lived with her for a while and ironically SHE was disqusting. She was really messy, she left her underwear with menstruation blood, spread out all over our floor. In sweden we have little nicotine pillows that you put under your lip (it's called snus.) She would use these AND smoke. Then she would remove these wet, used nicotine pillows from under her lip, and place them on her night stand. They could lay in a pile for weeks, left permanent stains and they smelled like actual shit. If she ever bothered to clean and mop the floor, she would just leave the mop, bucket and water until it started to mold in there. She also had vaginal infections every other month.
At one point I had enough of her mean and unnecessary remarks, so I lashed out and pointed all these things out. Even going as far as saying "it's your moldy vagina that is infected every other month, so how can I be the gross one?" She got so shocked she just froze, got red, then started laughing loudly before calling me a fucking cunt. This still grind my gears because calling someone gross is always mean, no matter how right YOU think you are. Gross is never not an insult. Grossness is also a lot of different things, and people are gross for many different reasons. But those reasons are never anyone elses business. Why was my grossness less okey then her grossness? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Q4UBEPruS9xZemnn2LFWe0xH9MBsRrOE | a7dmmq | {
"description": "not wanting a new phone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting a new phone? | So my family wants me to get a new phone that’s at a reduced price, but I’m ok with my current phone that works perfectly fine. They argue that if I wanted a new phone later that it would be more expensive, but I’d probably hang on to this one as long as possible cause I like it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nSeOPt3d37tFhELzCMYwfi1fxOnrSqk8 | 9vfnil | {
"description": "saying the n-word even though I'm half black",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for saying the N-word even though I’m half black? | This is probably a weird one but please bear with me. I recently made some new friends who are in one of my college classes and they’re both black. We’ll call them friend A and friend B. A couple days ago we were walking back to our dorms from class and friend A was telling a funny story about how he went to this party and got drunk and fucked up even though he had a test the next day and I was just like “Nigga you dumb.” in a joking kind of way. But after I said that, friend A told me he wasn’t cool with me saying that and friend B kind of agreed. I asked him why, and he told me it was because he didn’t think I was dark enough and that I acted “too white.” I just kind of said ok I’ll just stop saying it since it makes him uncomfortable, but this is bull shit right? Like this is the first time I’ve ever of heard of anything like this. AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xSB6XUl4JZl2GfmkSxi755jsByxLwUMc | b7tdi8 | {
"description": "asking BF to change his driving habits",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked BF to change his driving habits? | I don't know if I'm getting worked up over nothing because of my own driving inexperience or area differences, so here I am.
BF (25) is in Ontario, Canada and I'm (20F) in USA northwest for geographical ref in case driving attitude is different in those areas. We're in a LDR and visit each other through the year. Usually whoever is the "home team" is the main driver for our adventures. I recently visited him, therefore he was main driver.
On the wheel, my BF has habits that make me uneasy, like driving very close to a car in front of us or taking a free right (or left) turn very quickly in residential areas. On highways he has weaved through traffic to speed past other cars (that I believe are under the limit, but we rarely go on highways, and this was a one-time thing). Regardless he's quick to say other drivers aren't thinking or stupid if something doesn't go his way.
I want to talk to him about these and how it makes me slightly uneasy, but he's not a reckless driver by any means despite possibly not having depth perception (bad eyesight), and I know I could be biased by my own driving habits, plus I don't know if this is even worth a conversation. WIBTA to talk about it? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
T2KwdazBJ1HQsGr4Tdis6aPadKozo4TC | ak7ta9 | {
"description": "getting mad at my bf for smoking weed",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for getting mad at my bf for smoking weed | We’re both stoners. We smoke at least most days in the week.
Today he got eye surgery. When we got home he waited approximately 2 hours before smoking the pen.
I asked him not to, all of the googling I did said smoking was so so so bad for your eyes and it’s a needless risk for basically no reward. He was just bored cause he couldn’t see.
He got pretty upset with me an just kept rolling his eyes and groaning like I was being his mom, until he just ignored me and took a huge hit.
I went to take a nap after that instead of staying with him to keep him company. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
PU4Sy3PrnSptOhN6jCxmYQbvlxNPjEpx | b85gsb | {
"description": "not wanting my dog to be put to sleep",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not wanting my dog to be put to sleep? | For context: I have a 12 year old male Akita, slightly overweight, and my father occasionally breeds and raises them. This Akita was to my knowledge the runt of the litter. His name is Titus.
Titus, like the other dogs we have, is essentially affixed to my mother. He follows her around constantly, seldom taking the time to leave her out of his sight and do his own thing.
The average lifespan of an Akita is 10-12 years. He is the equivalent of a 90 year old, by this metric.
Now the actual scenario: Due to his advanced age, Titus has been quite immobile and lethargic, usually laying down most of the time. He hasn’t been able to do much of anything recently, and his health has rapidly degraded. We moved to a new house a few days ago, which probably has him stressed out. He has been trying to constantly follow my mother around incessantly, however, he has been hurting trying to do so. He won’t ever lay down to rest, and I’m guessing is because he has a joint problem.
His health has been rapidly deteriorating. My parents want to put him down. I do not.
They think that, due to the misery he is in, he had a long and good life and is ready to die. They think it’s time for him to be put down so that he doesn’t have to live in misery anymore.
I think that he needs to go to the vet first, and to be firmly adjusted to the new environment of the new house. The symptoms he has been experiencing is, I believe, expected for the nature of the scenario. I think he needs to be more thoroughly examined by a vet and receive proper treatment to improve the quality of his life, instead of heading to the last resort. She ended up making a full recovery. I think that Titus can make it at least several months more with a proper treatment.
However, my parents think that this is just me being attached, and as a result, my desire for him to live means he has to live in misery. For some reason, they are totally opposed to getting him veterinary treatment. My father thinks that because he breeds Akitas, that he is familiar with their physiology and is adept in addressing health issues for them. He has been relatively successful up until this point. I think that this time he needs to relinquish his control over the issue to a vet.
Am I being selfish and prolonging the suffering of my dog for not wanting him to be put down?
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
NiIKuGJo578Ln1qMl1elmovFuHaX0ob0 | ax62jj | {
"description": "going on a dibs spree",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for going on a dibs spree? | Hi there!
I just went on a dibs spree taking almost every single minute of free time my current girlfriend has in her life.
Why though?
Me and my girlfriend go to different universities, far enough from eachother that there is no way to just meet up for a day.
For the last third of the semester (where there are no readings/classes, call it what you want) she came back home (near my university) to spend time with her family, meet friends and prepare for her next exam.
Her parents are currently moving and she, of course, helps her parents to do so.
I tried for the last 2 weeks to meet up with her, before she had to help her parents move that is.
I got one afternoon with her... Not even stayed the night.
I now tried to find a day where we could spend time with eachother, without putting unnecessary stress on her as i understand that helping her parents move is stressful enough.
It didn't work... Turns out that apart of Wednesday and Friday she has only time between lunch and dinner as for both she has to be home... Maybe cus her parents want it that way, i dunno.
Wednesday her dad has his free day and i understand that she wants to spend that time with him.
Friday she meets a friend of hers.
I dunno if she also has to abide by the same rules as me but...
Anyway... I ask her about the next week as everything should be moved and unpacked by then (according to their plan).
The same spiel... Except Friday... No friend but the same rules as every other day.
So i decided i had enough.
All i wanted was a couple of days with her (2-3)to spend some time with eachother and relax.
All i got now... Tomorrow afternoon, Thursday afternoon, Saturday and Sunday afternoon, next Thursday, Friday, Saturday afternoon's.
In short... Bits and pieces of the day...
I feel a little bad for putting her into more stress ... But i also am sick of always be third place.
Am i the asshole here?
Should i be more understanding?
We are both 20y.o if age is something you guys/girls need to know for your judgement.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
nsjpSQfZtXgWbYD6dKYaNUfHzvxNIij7 | b22bjh | {
"description": "calling my former friend a c*nt",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Calling My Former Friend a C*nt | First post on reddit so sorry if this is formatted weird.
Background: I’m in high school and met this friend (we’ll call them AW cause this is recent) during orientation and we hit it off. On the first day we were walking home and AW spilt all they’re life story on how their mother was a drug addict and how their family abused them onto me and I said I would always support them.
Fast forward a few weeks later, AW was dating this boy and the two eventually broke up. AW said it was because the boy was dating another girl and that AW was a side chick. I believed them at first, but things started to seem sketchy. They would say all kinds of things like how they almost got arrested, their dad bought them weed, and how they got a tattoo (they’re 14 mind you).
Things were starting to seem suspicious and I wanted to verify with the boy if the story AW told about their break up was true. He was baffled and had no idea, which pissed me off. At lunch I stormed up to AW and told them we needed to talk. During that, they told me that they had also spilt all that info on me in the beginning to make me stay and be their friend. I was so pissed. They said to make truce, that they wouldn’t talk to me if I would stop rolling my eyes at them. I said “I don’t make truce with c*nts” and stormed off. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sOhjL2fcoVIo7T0fkCAJkVOxprOPiPzN | b2c9hx | {
"description": "telling a \"friend\" to shut up while arguing with another \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For telling a “friend” to shut up while arguing with another “friend” | 2 of my friends were arguing over something dumb. This is a rather old story btw. But one was being excessively rude. I told both of them to shut up. Well one demanded a apology saying how I should’ve said that in a kinder manner and he deserves respect. He is the classic rich kid who can get his way 24/7. Well he pretty much convinced the whole friend group to block me at once banned me from the discord servers and cut me out of of their lives. I was already going to a different school so I was just screwed. Well about 3 months later they all want to be my friend again. Am I the asshole for telling a “friend” to shut up and then not wanting to be his friend again after he blocks me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9jLmbY4tlXAMMby8729M9uu8pr7XZxIW | aa4jxx | {
"description": "telling my ex's new partner about potential infidelity",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I told my ex’s new partner about potential infidelity? | Long story short my ex and I had a less than amicable break up, and she continued to bother me until finally I told her to stay out of my life and that I never want to talk to her again. About a month ago I was on bumble dating and a profile for her popped up. She has a history of cheating, and cheated on anyone she has dated, myself included. Would I be an asshole if I messaged this guy through an anonymous insta account to tell him? Idk if they have some situation worked out or whatever, but I felt i would have wanted someone to tell me when she was cheating on me. But I’m just torn if I should just stay out of it, or help a potentially oblivious guy out. Unfortunately I forgot to take a screenshot so I don’t have the proof :/ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
P35jgAQl6BkI8KhUPyZoL4hhKOkKUyXp | b4eegz | {
"description": "lashing out at a guy I'm jealous of because I thought he was mocking me, even though he might have just been trying to be nice",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for lashing out at a guy I'm jealous of because I thought he was mocking me, even though he might have just been trying to be nice? | Let's call this guy Caleb (although that's obviously not his real name, since we're both Indians).
I'll admit up front, I'm jealous of Caleb. Hella jealous. Him and I, we're the difference between book smarts and street smarts. Let's put it this way. I can wax political philosophy and talk about different candidates positions for days. Caleb, on the other hand, doesn't give a fuck. But put us head to head in an actual election, and who'd win? Caleb. I have no charisma. He has all the charisma.
And he's perfect, basically everything I *want to* be. He's a national-level baseball player. He's in the same level classes I am, but gets good grades cramming and cheating while I study- hell, I don't even need to study, I just do it because I have no friends or hobbies. He's friends with the group I desperately want to like me, but don't. He's dating my crush. He's dating my fucking crush.
And I'll admit, I'm bitter. I'm hella bitter. For all my 'intelligence'- and I've grown up being told I'm a genius, that my IQ is off the charts, etc- everyone writes me off as an arrogant blowhard at best. And our entire lives, it's like we've been set against each other. We're two indian boys, whose friends are best friends, in an area with few indian people. And for all my supposed intelligence, he's winning.
And he's always nice to me. Overly nice. I can never figure out if he's actually just friendly, or if he's mocking me. Because I know he sees me as a dork with no friends, for good reason. I've heard people talk about how nice a guy is, but I've also heard people talk about how bad a guy he is. I just don't know. Case in point, today. Me and my family is driving, and we just enter our neighborhood. I see Calen across on the sidewalk, hanging out with some friends and he waves to me. My dad turns around to go meet him. Caleb makes small talk with my dad, and then he says hi to me. I manage out a polite hi. My dad pulls away, and I hear Caleb say to his friends, 'he's really introverted'. I lean out the window and shout 'I'm not introverted, I just really don't like you! By the way, I'm surprised you know the word introverted!' This was a really spur of the moment thing. But when I get home, my dad yells at me and says Caleb was just being nice. I'm not sure if he really was. Aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
ja5QW9G1dipNfZhQMVqMFJDTlmck1njB | akcoj4 | {
"description": "asking my ex about his sexual history so I can know if I am at risk for stds",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my ex about his sexual history so I can know if I am at risk for STDs? | In a series of complicated events and conversations, my ex confessed to me over the phone that I wasn’t his first kiss, that he used to mess around going back and forth to his ex, and kissed other girls as well, which are things he has never told me in the 10 months that we’re together. Though he insists that he’s virgin and he just kissed other people.
Anyway he told me that he’s clean, but out of shock (because he told me I was his first kiss and first everything), I asked which base has he been to with other girls in case I’m at risk for anything that can be transmitted through oral sex (that’s the furthest we have gone), and also because I wanted to know if our moments together were lies or real. I just didn’t want to live a lie thinking that he has never been there with anyone, since he was the first person I was physically intimate with.
Not because that if he messed around with other people it’ll make our experience invalid or less than it was, it’s just because he lied about everything that I just had many questions and it kinda took away from how special those moments were. I also knew that there were STDs that could transmit through oral sex, so I just wanted to make sure that he’s okay so that I’m okay too.
And immediately he got upset that I thought he’s a carrier of STDs, assured me that I was safe, and didn’t want to continue the conversation anymore. He also made it seem like it was super rare to get STDs through oral, which made me feel like he’s not really educated enough in this aspect ><
AITA for asking him about his sexual history, or did he overreact to what I said? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Yo5049wkH9ISLAFfNjDAmC6iWXdCwHus | b6dy2y | {
"description": "being harsh to my student",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being harsh to my student? | I don’t know where to start exactly because I want make this unbiased as possible to get a reasonable feedback. Here I go.. I work as a tutor in a small academy and watch over kindergarteners to 8th graders. Watching 8th grade is a bit challenging(Anyone who works with teenagers will know). Even though it’s challenging I’m able to stick through it because I know what it feels like to be their age with their problems so I try to stay that lay-back teacher. However teenagers have no social awareness and will take advantage of that. So it’s challenging to balance between chill and authoritative. With this in hand I like to think the kids and I have good(?) relationship.
Anyways there is this kid let’s call him Eric. Eric has a tendency to do whatever he wants. I actually talked to him about it and he admitted that he has this fault. Today he was playing a typing test on the laptop even though the laptop is only strictly for Homework. Honestly I wouldn’t mind him playing secretively (what I don’t know wont hurt me). However Eric doesn’t care for this. He’s the i will play right in-front of your face type of guy. When I ask him he tells me that he finished all his homework and that I should let him play this. I told Eric to get off but he doesn’t listen. I just stare at him telling him to stop playing for 3 minutes but he continues to play and gives me all these reason why he should be able to play.
This continues and he then gets annoyed at me and leaves to a different classroom. A few minutes later I hear him arguing and trying to persuade another teacher why he should be able to play this game. This triggers me and I go over to him and I see him playing the game once again. I then shut off the computer and told him “I already told you not to play this game and you’re starting to piss me off” He then says something in the line of I should mind my own business.
I got bit heated cause of that comment so I told him that he’s about to cross the line and he then gets quiet.
And thats the story. There’s a lot of things going through my head but I just want an opinion on if I am being an asshole or not | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yMBfqxz8DPRrgYsVLP9SlUvYUqqt4IB0 | axw6ww | {
"description": "not liking my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not liking my friend? | I have a friend who I’ve known for about a year now (I’ll call her Kelly) and she’s been fine for most of it. But recently, she’s started to be a bit of a pain.
For example, she rarely says anything positive and judges people so easily. One time we were just walking around and saw a girl in a crop top and she said something along the lines of ‘I bet she’s just a stripper’. When these happen I usually just don’t say anything because I know if I do she’s going to make a big deal out of it.
Secondly, she’s started calling all of our classes ‘useless’ and how she’s just ‘pissed and not going to care about them anymore’. I started saying how we’ll need them and how they were actually teaching us good stuff but she said she was going to become an ‘online spiritual counselor’ and ‘lead her own business’. And yet she still says she doesn’t need any of the classes. I asked her one day in class that if she hated them so much, why is she still doing the homework and coming to class?
Another small thing is that she’s recently become vegan. I’m not a vegan or vegetarian but I have nothing wrong with them at all. The only thing about this is the lectures she’s been giving me and other people. She’s saying how she ‘doesn’t want to support and industry that takes baby animals away from their mothers and kills them’. That’s not even how most farms work?? She then proceeded to say how ‘all farmers are mass murderers’. But what about the farmers that raise their animals with love then kill them humanely and use the whole body?? And she’s started shaming me and other people for eating meat.
Lastly, the biggest thing for me (although I think I might be making a big deal out of it). So, I’ve recently lost my grandfather who I was really close with and she knows. So I had to leave for a bit and when I get back, nothing. No hugs, no words of support, no acknowledgement that I was even gone, she just keeps reading her book and proceeds to ignore me. She then goes on to say that ‘she’s so sad because no one understands her and her harry potter memes’ and how ‘her brain is filled with sad thoughts’ because of this. So, no acknowledgement of how I actually am sad and depressed (and with good reason) and then proceeds to try to make me pity her and go all woe is me because no one thinks the harry potter memes she shows them is funny?
There’s more but I feel like I’ve already made a Ted Talk through this but I just want to know am I being unreasonable? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CXy1WCPAvVbOXaj4WobE0hGXizjU9SNu | azlzk2 | {
"description": "feeling bad that my best friend slept with my first semi-sexual partner",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for feeling bad that my best friend slept with my first semi-sexual partner? | So, bit of context. I'm 17 right now, a dude, and almost two years ago, I had the most sexual experience I've had to this day with a very pretty girl I liked. We didn't have all out sex, but we did get to second base, which, to an insecure virgin teen, is pretty good. Few months later, I learn that my best friend of 10 years (who, btw, is a year younger than me but a loooot more so sexually active, and has had 3 serious relationships while I've had none : I don't think I need to spell out the inferiority complex there) as had all out sex with that same girl, multiple times. Then, and every subsequent moment that it was mentioned (a lot more often than you'd think), I feel very sad and depressed and angry. It's like I've been betrayed, or that my "conquest" was stolen. I hate feeling this way, because I like my best friend, and it's also pretty objectifying towards the girl. Am I the asshole here, or is it normal to feel this way? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
aChnl9PUgIYjOWBJk0iGQnqZc43p1amF | axoi3n | {
"description": "wanting to wear a hot outfit to Vegas",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to wear a hot outfit to Vegas? | My coworkers and I are planning a trip to Vegas. For reference, I’m a woman and gay, we’re all in early 20s, and there will be a total of 3 girls and 3 guys on the trip (including myself in this count). Maybe important to note that this is my first time going to Vegas.
I usually don’t dress up and I usually don’t wear very girly clothes, so it was difficult for me to find a good outfit. My coworkers (the ones I’m going on the trip with) went shopping with me to help me pick out some outfits. After trying on a good number of dresses that I didn’t feel suited me, I finally found a lace romper that I thought suited me well. Basically, it was black romper, short, and lace from the midriff up. The lace covers my boob area and the rest is transparent but I’ll be wearing pasties to prevent any possible nipslips.
I sent a picture of me wearing the romper to my gf (she’s not going on the Vegas trip) and she says that it’s too revealing of an outfit. I reassured her that I would be wearing pasties so no one is going to see my boobs or anything, but she is insistent that it’s still too much. We ended up getting into an argument. She said that what I was wearing wasn’t safe. She trusts me not to cheat on her, so that wasn’t the issue here, but she’s afraid guys would try to look or touch. Her reasoning is that it’s a safety issue, but I think it’s a bit overprotective. I told her I’m not going to get blackout drunk (I never have) and I was going to be responsible and I was going to stick with my coworkers and my friend (whom she has met before). To that, she said that even if I were responsible, other people in the club might not be. I ended up telling her to stop policing my body because that’s what I felt like it was. She thought it was ridiculous that I thought she was doing such a thing, so I can’t tell if I was overreacting or not. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bRQ1pHqTfOgfVlLiR6vfO8ArqTnqkh8w | b6cnet | {
"description": "thinking my gf getting upset about photos I like in Instagram is laughable and very 'high school'",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for thinking my gf getting upset about photos I like in Instagram is laughable and very 'high school'? | Seriously... People measure their happiness and relationships by social media now?! Fucking hell... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 7
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
8cdKlRRXkjk2u266yeEoUihvQ6ZO8ojy | arjld4 | null | UPDATE: AITA for not telling my SO that I am a millionaire? | Hi Reddit,
&#x200B;
This isn’t a happy update. After our daughter fell asleep, I went to talk to my husband. The conversation went something like this: “Babe, can we talk for a bit? There’s something really important that I think we should discuss about right now.” He then looks down at this feet and quietly says “So you know about my affair then.” Immediately I start feeling sick. He starts crying and admits to having a 9 month long affair with a younger unmarried coworker. He tells me that on occasions when I was out of town visiting family, they had sex IN OUR BED WITH OUR DAUGHTER ASLEEP IN THE OTHER BEDROOM. Not just once, but at least 3 times. All this time I’m crying too. Then my husband asks me about the possibility of saving our marriage. At this point I’m completely overwhelmed so I yell at him to get the fuck out, which he did. It has been me and my daughter for the last few days. I haven’t been able to sleep much if at all during this time. I haven’t gone to work and my daughter is constantly asking “Mommy, when is Daddy coming back?” I don’t want to tell her the truth for obvious reasons so I say “Daddy went on vacation to see Grandma and he’ll be back soon.”
&#x200B;
Obviously I never had the chance to tell him about my millions, which is honestly the only “good” thing that happened. Divorce is 99% certain, as well as the next few weeks/months will being very very rough. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ALl6JzMZs1RSdu8QVN9fYmGyr2mLMhAP | a04vsn | {
"description": "asking a middle aged couple to move from our pre-booked seats on the last train of the day",
"pronormative_score": 73,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For asking a middle aged couple to move from our pre-booked seats on the last train of the day? | The setting -
The 23:30 service from London Paddington to Didcot Parkway (a popular commuter route) on Saturday 24th November (yesterday); a big consumer shopping day in the lead up to Christmas. The train was packed, all seats taken and people standing in the aisles, and sat on the floor of the train near the doors.
We [mid 20’s couple] politely asked a middle aged couple to move from our pre-booked seats. They demanded to see the booking, before complying. The man stated “I can’t believe you’re asking an old lady to stand” whilst getting up. Other passengers audibly started tutting, and one young passenger offered his seat to the middle aged female.
They proceeding to moan for a good 10-15 minutes stood next to us that “our generation has no respect” and “chivalry is dead” amongst other passive entitled comments. We chose to not confront, instead putting our headphones in. I sat there afterwards, feeling like the asshole.
On reflection -
1) I understand their frustration. I would be equally frustrated in that situation.
2) I don’t understand the entitlement. We had pre-booked those seats - if sitting was of paramount concern, they should have pre-booked seats, knowing the service was likely to be rammed.
3) Their behaviour was purely based on our age. If we were a similar age, I feel they would not have made such a commotion.
4) It angers me that we were judged in that moment. Judged to be able bodied and less deserving of the seats - irregardless of the fact we had reserved them.
Subsequently, because of the commotion the couple made, I was made to feel like we were in the wrong for asking them to move.
Furthermore, I felt like the patrons of the train had judged us to be at fault, and “lacking respect” for asking older people to move.
At this point - I’d like to ask - AITA?
It’s now 02:40AM and I had to type this down - because all I can think at the moment is “Fuck these middle class, middle aged entitled pricks for judging us, and publicly making us feel like jerks”
EDIT - Removed the details of why we booked the seats in advance. As pointed out in the comments by a user - this information shouldn’t have made any difference, however illustrates that the public make ageist assumptions. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 73,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 73,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
K88XJINeomSNg7wJWYDC6CF9aNMKe3Gy | b48ief | {
"description": "breaking up with a girl for talking to my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For breaking up with a girl for talking to my ex? | Some backstory required. Me and my first girlfriend broke up some years ago and I don't talk to her at all. During my last relationship she contacted my girlfriend multiple times trying to break us up. I ended up making a mistake and cheating on her which I regret and ended the relationship.
&#x200B;
I started dating this new girl and I thought all was going well until she asked me what happened with my last relationship. I told her I don't like talking about it because it makes me uncomfortable, she said ok and I thought that was it.
&#x200B;
She started talking to one of her friends that went to my school and knows my ex. Her friend told her that I cheated on my ex which she then asked me about and I admitted that I did and felt terrible about it. She then started talking to my first girlfriend and I don't know what my ex told her but she started calling me a cheater saying that I was going to cheat on her. I told her I wasn't going to be with someone who is going to trust my ex over me and broke up with her.
&#x200B;
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
GfW85Hie1UE0lneiXD52eAoThMgYqkAF | aki4m0 | {
"description": "not wanting to participate in my mother's favorite hobby",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to participate in my mother's favorite hobby? | Let me start out by saying that I have a slight phobia of dolls. My loving, caring, wonderful mother makes custom American Girl clothes as well as fixing up old ones with new eyes/hair/body parts. I'm the only one strong enough to push the disconnected eyeballs into the tiny eye sockets in their stupid squishy vinyl heads and it usually makes me want to die doing it. I hate looking at all the body parts and the eyeless heads, but she is constantly showing them to me and my sister asking us how cute we think they are. I know why she does it, she's happy and proud of herself and wants to share with her kids. But it seriously freaks me out. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L4KS51upf6qjEVow5SsQEkVTEm5zAOyx | atwwml | {
"description": "not sending a Reminder Text to a friend to meet me for dinner",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Not Sending A Reminder Text to A Friend To Meet Me For Dinner | So about a week back, last Saturday night, I had invited a friend of mine over to have dinner at my house on Sunday. We had already planned this twice before and either he or I was busy because of which we kept postponing. But we finally set a day and decided on a time for him to be at my place, 7pm. Fast forward to Sunday night, around 7, he wasn't there yet. He has had a habit of turning up a little late to get togethers at times but that's not something that bothers me because I'm the same way so I was pretty used to it. Anyway, I started making dinner to pass the time and before I knew it, it was 9.
Sent him a text asking where he was then and got a reply at 10:30 telling me that I forgot to send a reminder text and was only texting so late to cover up for the fact that I didn't feel like meeting. This naturally turned in to an argument since I didn't feel I was in the wrong. I've asked a few of my other friends about it since and they've both agreed with me but, out of curiosity, I would like to pass this question off to everyone here. I know I invited him but was I really expected to send a reminder text if we had already agreed on the date and the time? He claims it's a courtesy to make guests feel welcome but honestly, I find that laughable. It's not a date and we're pretty good friends so I don't see the point of the formality. He does come from a family though that stresses these things quite a bit so maybe it was important to him.
This is a pretty small issue. It happened a week ago and I was over it pretty much the day after it happened. But my friend keeps bringing it back up from time to time as ribbing and I honestly can't believe how he doesn't see he's in the wrong 😂. But there you have it folks, lay it on me, which one of us is the asshole here? 😂 | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Uq0n0QoMEdjmG8vFJOhuDINZapgsqSF3 | a4b312 | {
"description": "checking out to get some work done",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for checking out to get some work done? | I have a big deadline coming up. It's creative (in that I have to create some complex shit) and it's not movable. My husband, who I love dearly and am in no way considering leaving or loving any less for this, and who is wonderful other than this specific thing, has burned himself out on his own job and has been off work for a week with one more to go.
I have spent the last week playing Florence flipping Nightingale to him, cleaning up after him, making sure he rests, eats and doesn't get all het up about stuff, and now I have ten days to finish something I NEEDED to start a week ago (which he very much knew about, but let's not unpack that) and now, after a very long fricking week, he seems to be on the mend. I've cleaned the house, removed any shit he can trip over, there is homemade food in the fridge to heat up, and he has everything he needs.
Am I an asshole for checking into a hotel a couple streets away to just try and get my head down on my deadline? I love my job, this is the high point of my year, it's going to have a hundred thousand people tuning in and they're all fucking looking forward to it, and I want to make it awesome for them (and also make sure I don't fuck up and let my awesome boss down). I am ready to work. I need to work. But whenever my husband walks into the room my brain can't focus and I'm blocked again. This job is a big break for me and much as I love, adore and care about my husband, I have to get out of here and work.
I plan to come back daily to hug the cat and check they're ok (and the cat has backup food, water, toys and an undecorated christmas tree to play with) and my husband says he'll be ok and I should go do my work.
But I guess I just need another perspective here. Am I an asshole?
Throwaway because otherwise you'd figure out what I work on and then I'd have even more shit to deal with.
If you have any gifs of funny animals I could also use those.
Thanks all x | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
28X36ttmdrLuhKJQnBGpYdHXErDNUU64 | al27o4 | {
"description": "not giving my friend a ride",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not giving my friend a ride? | First time poster, so excuse me if my formatting is wrong.
Also excuse my english .
So I guess that I will have to give some backstory for you to understand this story.
I am currently in highschool, and my friend who we will call F, is in my class. As we both have one lecture that is a bit away from school, both on monday and tuesday morning, I will usually pick F up, and them leave him after the lecture. He lives about a ten minute walk from the building we have our lecture in. He usually texts me in the morning to ask if I will give him a ride.
This has not been a problem for me, as it is not much of a detour for me to pick F up on the way. I do not expect anything for doing this, except maybe a little appreciation.
This was the case until last week.
Last week when we had just had our last lesson, me and F were casually. For some reason we got on the track of talking about me giving him rides on mondays and tuesdays, and the rest of the conversation unfolded like this:
Me: Imagine if I won't give you a ride next week (in a joking manner).
F: You wouldn't dare to do that.
Me: Okay, you probably shouldn't have said that.
F: Don't take that as I dare.
Me: I guess we'll see.
After that we parted ways, until tuesday morning (cancelled lecture on monday).
I didn't think this was too big of a deal, but I thought that it was a bit shitty of him to think that I somehow owe him a ride. I felt like he thought he could control me, so I decided that he wouldn't get a ride next week.
Tuesday morning comes, and so does the usual message asking if I could give him a ride. Here is how the coversation went:
F: Hey could you give me a ride today?
Me: Do you remeber last week?
F: Yes, that was nice of you (refering to that I went by his house to pick him up, and called him to wake him up when I arrived, because he overslept).
Me: No not that, remeber when you said I wouldn't dare to pick you up.
F: Yes.
Me: Well I am not going to.
F: Yes you are (in a half-joking manner).
Me: No I am not.
The conversation went on, and I thought that I made it very clear that I wasn't going to pick him up. He stops answering, so I guessed that he had accepted it.
I arrive to the lecture in time, wait for a bit until everybody has arrived so we can start the lesson. Suddenly I overhear the teacher read out a message saying "I am going to be late, I don't know where "me" is". This was from F, who obviously didn't understand that I was serious. Everybody around us who had heard what the teacher said were looking really confused, so I explained what you just read to them.
Everybody seemed to agree that I was right in doing what I did, and all of them seemed to find it kind of funny. F did not agree though.
We have allready started the lesson, when F comes in. F seems very mad, and said that he had to ask his dad to give him a ride, which made him and his dad late.
We talked later in the day about it, and he still seems to think that I am in the wrong. He doesn't seem to understand why I did it even though I explained my motives.
I am confused now and need someone elses opinion on the matter, is he right? AITA?
TL;DR: My friend expected me to give him a ride, and when I didnt do it, he got mad. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
BIuWk9UJafbXofFYNY652hYmLbWPBprs | ba1vbj | {
"description": "breaking up with a girl because she wouldn't do anal",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA for breaking up with a girl because she wouldn’t do anal? | I’m 28/M, she’s 27/F. I’m regretting it now and wishing I had stayed with her.
We dated for about 5 months and things were great, but after a long talk I found out that she wasn’t into anal sex. She tried it before, but didn’t like it.
Personally this made me feel like she didn’t like me much, so I told her it was a dealbreaker and broke up. She moved on, but now I see through Facebook that she’s happy with a new guy, has a new great job, and is pretty much out of my league. I feel bad that I let her go because of anal, but does that really make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 21
} | WRONG |
qxHc2IrHIMGFUrFEOxategUA8WvjxE5Q | a0iu2x | {
"description": "yelling at my dad for telling me something that I think was insensitive",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for yelling at my dad for telling me something that I think was insensitive? | My 96 year old grandmother was admitted into the ER yesterday with congestive heart failure. She has always been healthy, sharp as a tack and one of the strongest women I know - even after losing her only daughter (my mom). The bond that I share with her is so deep. When I walk into her home, I can feel my mother's presence (okay, not in a paranormal way)....but the way her house smells, when I hear her voice, when I see her face.....everything brings warmth and comfort into my heart.
My father told me that she had been admitted to the ER for congestive heart failure and I immediately started crying. Any time I hear of a close loved one being sick I go into somewhat of a panic mode because it triggers the memory of receiving "that" phone call that my mother was dead.
My father became annoyed with me. He told me, "Why do you always react this way? I shouldn't have even told you. She's NINETY SIX! You should prepare yourself!" My father and I NEVER argue. He is the love of my life but when he said this, my body stiffened up and I yelled, "How can you say that? It's like if someone were to come and tell me, 'Your dad is 75, you should be prepared because he's old! She is healthy and can do things that 96 years old can't do! SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DIE so how in the hell can you expect me to "prepare myself" to watch my grandmother die when SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DIE????" My father just gave me a look (I'm not sure if he felt bad for raising his voice at me or if he was surprised that I raised my voice at him, gave me kiss and then left my house.
I've been feeling so conflicted. I love and respect my dad and I NEVER yell at him. But, I think his delivery was a bit insensitive.
TL;DR: My father chastised me for crying when I found out that my (otherwise healthy) 96 year old grandmother is in the hospital and told me that "I should be strong and 'prepare myself' for her impending death." | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QICeoXklgCiPn0Fg5PQB9Gd7zuflD9E1 | a166s4 | {
"description": "getting back late from bowling or my wife for kicking me onto the couch",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting back late from bowling or my wife for kicking me onto the couch | BACKGROUND
I'm married (M28) with my wife (F26) for 3 years.
We have a great relationship but are both mostly homebodies and like to spend most weeknight evenings at home binging Netflix. We go out for fun activities during the weekend and rarely fight.
We both have jobs that need us waking up around 7am for 8am starts.
TONIGHT
So, I have a friend who is going through a messy divorce. My wife likes said friend, but I've been recently hanging with him a lot more to give him some support and just generally be a good friend.
I had planned to go bowling with my friend on Tuesday night at 7.30, had checked with the wife and she was all good.
I should note now that my wife has an informal 'rule' that she doesn't like me getting back after 10pm on a weeknight. Even though we frequently watch Netflix until 11.30pm.
My friend was late and we pre-paid games of bowling with a special deal the bowling centre had, only starting at 8.30. We were having a great time just chatting so our bowling rate was slow.
Before I knew it it was 9.30pm.
I texted my wife warning her we might be late.
She texted back 'ok'.
Got to 10.08 and we were only beginning our last game.
I then receive texts at 15min intervals saying that 'I'm not home yet.' - 'You're now 40min late' etc
I end up rushing us to finish and it takes a good 30min to drive home.
I arrive home at 11.18
First thing I say is sorry for being late.
My wife refuses to speak with me at first and then we get into an argument for it being 'unacceptable' that I was home so late. I provide my reasons for being late and say that I couldn't just leave abruptly at 9.30pm because I have a 'curfew'. We were talking about serious stuff and I couldn't control that my friend late.
When I go to get into bed she hands me my pillow and says 'You're not welcome'.
I have been kicked out of MY own bed for what I see is a ridiculous over reaction. I am furious.
Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
hq9sdlQYXNXlyggHpdTBdHeZHmJYoxV6 | b1yxw5 | {
"description": "dropping a friend who is being abused",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for dropping a friend who is being abused? | This is the only sub I can think of for this situation and I need a third party opinion because I am too emotionally involved.
My friend Sadie got together with this dude a year and a half ago. He was studying to be a lawyer at the time and has since passed the bar. When Sadie first got with this dude she kind of disappeared. Within a few months her Facebook was deactivated and she never responded to snapchats. I figured she was just busy until I got a call at 1 am with her sobbing and telling me I can never text her or call her about what she was going to tell me unless she started the conversation about it. Red flags shoot up and i agree...so she tells me how her boyfriend has spent their whole relationship accusing her of cheating constantly, getting drunk and trashing her apartment while screaming about what a whore she is, etc. and she needed to talk to calm down. I talk to her for hours and she falls asleep. This becomes a regular occurrence. Despite him controlling every aspect of Sadie's life, he believes every time she is out of his sight shes cheating. He made her deactivate Facebook because it was easier than deleting and blocking all her Male friends. He is always on her phone hence the restriction on talking about it.
She is active military and he is a lawyer from a wealthy family. He has made her cut off most friends because they "dont mesh with his friends" (rich kids who look down on people like her and i who are enlisted active duty) and she goes to work and comes straight home, never leaving unless he is with her because she feels like can somehow convince him to trust her.
She has broken up with him 4 times. each time she comes to stay with me because he rages and breaks her furniture and threatens her dogs (she brings the dogs to my place too) etc and she doesnt feel safe.
She kind of dropped off again a few weeks after their last breakup. Today she invited me to a St Patty's thing and as I arrive she tells me he is there and to be nice.
Now here is why i did a possibly asshole thing. This guy knows I attempted prescription medication overdose a year ago. When they broke up last he spewed a ton of shit like how i would "be dead or in a nuthouse soon" because I am "a psycho fucking loser like the rest of you navy fucking losers."
I turned around and walked away today. She begged me to stay and said I had to be friends with him if I wanted to be friends with her. I finally washed my hands of the situation. With everything he said about me, she didnt even tell him he owed me an apology. She was just so happy he was being nice to her again that she forgave everything. She can't understand why I would be personally insulted by his actions and not want to just forget about what he has said and done like she does.
I dont want her to feel alone because I'm her last friend that is not a friend he has allowed her to make and I just can't any more. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0v0hQOV2leHGjIoBbE6i72TgJSjtD2Ak | b72wip | {
"description": "snapping at my boyfriend because he is depressed",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for snapping at my boyfriend because he is depressed? | Throwaway, cause his sister uses reddit.
My boyfriend has very recently started to develop symptoms that we can only describe as depression. His mood is low, he doesn’t laugh at anything, he isn’t affectionate, he looks exhausted, and he just wants to sit and play on his PS4. I’m trying my best to be supportive, encouraging him to book an appointment with the doctor (I don’t have permission to for him), and he agrees but he never does.
He used to get severe headaches everyday so I was used to him lying down for 3-4 hours leaving me alone with our son, but now he never helps. If I ask for something, there’s only a 20% chance he will get up from his game and do it, and he is always mildly annoyed with me that he had to.
I am exhausted, and burnt out. He works 6-7 hours a day 5 days a week, and stays up until 3/4am playing games but I am constantly looking after our 9 month old. I snapped at him a couple of days ago after he complained I didn’t wash his shirt with “Can you give me a fucking minute?” and he has been cold since. I tried talking to him a couple times and apologizing for losing my patience but he won’t have it. He just replies with things like “Just tell me you don’t love me anymore” and “I learned my lesson, I’ll just shut the fuck up”.
Today, he told me he was going to gamble half of his paycheque because he worked hard for it. I didn’t want to pick a fight but I told him I thought it was a bad idea. We had a huge argument after he told me to go live with my parents if I didn’t like the way he lived, and I listed everything I do around the house for our son since he is not contributing, and that I don’t expect a 500$ blowout reward for it. He told me I knew how he was feeling depressed, and that what I just said was abusive. He finished by accusing me of cheating on him, brought up every mistake I’ve ever made, then blocked me and hasn’t responded in hours.
I just want to know if I was the asshole. I was fuming when I sent the message but looking now, I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who is depressed before and I feel like what I did was irreversible and cruel. He doesn’t mean to do what he does. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ar39JWaVnSsNih8QmVffpumPI1txiCVa | b68nk6 | {
"description": "attempting to stand up for my friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for attempting to stand up for my friend? | I have a friend who is a 16 year old girl who goes to church with me. One day she excitingly texted me about how she bought a "really cute sundress" with sunflowers on it.
Flash forward to this past Sunday, when she wore that dress. It was a very flattering dress on her, but it wasn't overly sexual. It covered up everything that needed to be covered up and it went down to her knees. She told me that her dad made some really rude remarks about how short the dress was before they went to church. Saying that it showed too much up top and down low.
After church she texted me extremely upset because apparently someone complained to her parents that her dress was too short. Her father went as far to say that some of the comments he heard made him feel “embarrassed." She said that basically the entire way home, they scolded her for how short her dress was.
I told her it was bullshit. That she could wear whatever she wanted to. That she shouldn’t be shamed for what she wore and that her parents were wrong for getting embarrassed about those "comments" and that whoever complained to them was a "f\*cking idiot" so on and so forth. I even went as far as calling her parents inappropriate names. I used a lot of words I really should not have said, but these comments really upset me. I have a sister and know that if someone ever commented negatively on her outfit, it would really trouble her.
Last night, I got a text from said friend reading "well this is discouraging” and then a long text basically saying "She is 16 and can not wear whatever she feels like if it is revealing. Modesty and purity are extremely important to us and and I am extremely disappointed in this whole conversation." Her mother took her phone, read our messages, and texted me on her phone.
I was taken back, and didn't want to cause anymore drama so I just told her that I was sorry and was trying to stand up for her.
She responded with another long text saying how she wants to protect her from "pervs and anyone else that would want to take advantage of someone so pretty and awesome" and then said that her and I would speak more later.
I've been struggling with this all day because I've had friends tell me IWTA because I overstepped my bounds by telling her that she could wear whatever she wanted and that people were idiotic to complain about it. I know I used language I shouldn't but I was just infuriated at the whole situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LDxdamcYRaHd5xMex0nzg3uEP3rLSLRr | ax25gm | {
"description": "saying I'm \"first generation\" in front of my parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for saying i'm "first generation" in front of my parents? | Invited my girlfriend to meet my parents and she is "Nobility" her family has a wiki page and all that stuff, I come from a working class family my parents are not rich. I am doing pretty well financially and she has told me I am apparently richer than anyone in her family. She is a little out of touch and spends a lot of money. At dinner she says I worry too much about money and am too frugal and I say "I'm first generation rich not 27th generation" and I guess my parents were offended at that even though it's true. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mWFgPbO5QhJqdzDgVoxlhp8g26GLwmXB | b6a5gc | {
"description": "hurting my girlfriends feelings during grieving",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for hurting my girlfriends feelings during grieving? | Recently my girlfriends younger sibling died and she was very upset and distraught. Because I cared about her and her family I was there to provide emotional support and comfort to them until something happened during the visitation. I was unable to attend the visitation because I had a prior university commitment, but I did plan on attending the funeral. Anyway during the visitation my gf kept sending me pictures of the event and describing truly how morbid everything was. I asked her to stop snap chatting me during the visitation because it was a depressing scene and I thought she was being disrespectful, and then she got upset with me and told me not to attend the funeral. Is what I said wrong? How should I have handled this better? Is there anyway I can right my wrong? Anything is appreciated. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
37Qf05XaM8KrFy0Tyc6Oy0Y8Vet7jZ9h | 9y9qp4 | {
"description": "being friends with a guy that likes me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being friends with a guy that likes me? | We've been friend since high school and I really like him. I feel like I have never connected with anyone like this before but it is completely platonic on my end. But he likes me. We've actually stopped talking before because it got so bad. He would keep texting me how much he loves me and that he wants to be with me and I would just keep turning him down. It was hard for me and maybe that sounds selfish but I really feel uncomfortable when I know someone likes me. I'm a super self conscious person and also very awkward. I felt like I could be my whole self with him and then I find out he likes me. I just eventually told him I couldn't be friends as long as he acted this way.
A few months maybe a year go by since then and he texts me. I debate whether I should respond at all and eventually text back. We really hit it off and spend a lot of time together. I was happy I had my friend back and he had a girlfriend so I felt safe. But then the weird touches happened. He would stroke my hair and try to kiss me whenever we got drunk (and we were in college so a lot), I always rebuffed him. Sometimes he would beg and I would be rude and tell him NO. He only did this drunk so I thought maybe it wasn't a big deal.
It went on like that for maybe a year, ofc his gf hated me! But I tried being super nice to her and it just never mattered. Which I completely get, I wouldn't like it either. He told me that she asked him to choose once and I said he should do what is best for him. I didn't want to lose him as a friend but he relationship was more important. And while ultimatums aren't good, I was on her side. It was weird. At one point he stopped and I felt great! That he got over it and we could be friends again. Then he started feeling more distant and I was pretty upset by this. I asked if I did something wrong and he would always say no. After that we started to sort of resent each other, I didn't like how dismissive he was of me and he was just mad I'm not sure. I never texted him a lot or anything but sometimes he'd text me first then ignore me! I got so mad and I told him I didn't like being treated this way and if this is how he's going to be we're done. He said he was sorry and being rude lately because he liked me and wanted to push away. I felt bad and apologized but we basically stopped talking which I understood, I never pushed to be friends again. A few months pass and he tells me he's over it and we try to be friends again. It was rough and awkward to say the least.
Now into recent time, we are great again. We have so much fun and don't hang out too much but I felt we were starting to be on good terms once more. But nope of course not. Not too long ago he started complimenting me again and I felt really apprehensive. I just accepted them and moved on, hoping he was just being nice. Then he asks me if we can kiss and I am done. I was sort of rude saying no and that I'm not into it. I really had no idea what to say.
I am at a loss, I thought it was gone and now I just feel like it never will be. It is just frustrating. He apologized saying he felt like I liked him too and I told him that he is reading me wrong. I don't want to be mean but I have NEVER liked him like that and it's hard to explain why. I just don't. I think he's good looking and I love hanging out with him but I have never felt anything romantic or physically toward him. There is nothing there. Now I just feel like we'll never be friends and he will always at some point want more. It's been years and we keep doing the same thing. Do I just power through until he finds another gf that he hopefully likes enough to kill any feelings for me? Or am I just punishing both of us by staying friends? I want him to be happy. I want neither of us to feel uncomfortable. This is just hard.
So am I an asshole for staying friends with this guy? Am I just leading him on even though I've told him dozens of times I don't like him like that? I have never really been in his shoes. Being in this position is not new for me though. Maybe I act flirty and don't know it, I honestly feel I do nothing to lead anyone on. I've tried to act more gross around him too even though I hate doing that.
I'm sorry for the terrible writing, it has never been my strong suit. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
TyPF98GlQniGJpC4wgmgVBJ36Hw7ZweK | 9way2r | {
"description": "wanting to turn my sister in",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to turn my sister in? | My sister(18) recently moved out of my parent's house. Shes in college and doing normal college kid stuff for the most part. Aside from the normal drinking and partying shes taken up stealing. It started with mild shop lifting. I dont know why she'd feel the need to shoplift considering my parents pay for her apartment, school, and sometimes food.
Anyways, she recently sent me a picture of some animals she and her friends stole from a farm. I recently found out that they also resold them to someone else. I know how it feels to have things stolen from you and it's not a good feeling. I want to turn her in to the police. Would I be an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4X39aIMRiV1vLgpwhl8Qp77gW23FU80j | azt3x0 | {
"description": "being upset two days later? gf of 4 years was talking about her wild past",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset two days later? gf of 4 years (29) was talking about her wild past | Hey, I'm ready for some hard truths
&#x200B;
Background - we haven't had a very interesting sex life in the past few months. In part for medical reasons, though there were still things we could and havent been doing. To be clear, no problems with what she's done before me or judgement, I've had my own 'wild past'. So me, tired and irrational, is there listening.
&#x200B;
gf came home from a night out with her work friends. When she got in I woke up, we were talking about how her night was. Apparently they were reminiscing about some old times from a few years ago when they were single. She says about a threesome she had with two of her friends and says
"it was amazing, glad it happened. never would again".
&#x200B;
The thought of her with the guy both turned me on and made me a bit jealous, though that's neither here nor there. I never had a threesome so it was something that became an unfulfilled fantasy when we became exclusive (she wasn't up for it anymore). It's still a bit of a sore spot as is it something I would have wanted to experience in this lifetime, but being with her is more important and long term. So this memory/sentence was a bit of salt on the wounds.
&#x200B;
So there I am, getting upset by what I see as this insensitive sentence for three reasons:
1 experience I'll never have with her (I know this is something I have to learn to let go of, I just dont know how, could appreciate advice there too)
2 seeing her reminisce about wild sex when we haven't had sex in ages makes it feel like we're all downhill from here (probably the only genuine one here)
3 Insecurity from this, why weren't we having drunk sex instead of her reminiscing/why would she let someone she cares less about have a threesome and not me (I know that one is petty)
So here's me two days later being crotchety and bitter, trying to let it go or figure it out and failing. not sure if there'd be any benefit to bringing this up other than making the situation worse (particularly about sex. once that's brought up as a problem I feel a line has been irreversibly crossed)
&#x200B;
TLDR - gf talking about a past threesome, saying 'amazing but never again', me getting upset because
1 we didnt and wont do that together,
2 we havent had sex in ages,
3 insecurity, why not me.
Now i'm still feeling upset two days later and am finding myself grumpy/aloof towards her. Hit me
&#x200B;
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
uAZPru1tvZRts2Yvzih4cnY6ggE7ghtM | b95jaf | {
"description": "defriending my best friend because of his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for defriending my best friend because of his girlfriend? | For some context; sigh.
I've know him for 6 or so years. We've spent all of our high school years together and at one point dated. For the longest time, I've loved him or I've felt as close to love as I guess a highschooler can feel. He also felt the same way but I was too scared to get into a proper relationship because of past experiences with manipulation and such. He asked out one of my friends a few months ago and they've been dating ever since. At one point in the relationship he told me they don't jive well and that he still loved me. Things are different now but being around them brings a great deal of pain. I eventually blocked him on social media and told him I wanted us to stop communicating. I didn't tell him why; I asked that he didn't but the truth is that I still feel a great deal of affection and being around them really wears me down. I thought it wouldn't be fair to him to his girlfriend that I feel this way and continued to be around him. I don't know if I'm just being a petty bitch or if it was the right thing to do.
side note: I like his girlfriend a lot. We've been friends for a few years and I genuinely really love being around her. Perhaps I should just get over it and let them be happy.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
977qrOIeEhIhrVnAF52xZ3KGp4MNssNa | a802v8 | {
"description": "talking while jazz band playing a quieter song at a cafe",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA? Talking while jazz band playing a quieter song at a cafe | I go see live music often, probably 5 shows a month. Last night my friend and I were at this cafe/bar/restaurant that had s jazz band playing. The place is new and it was my first time there. It's described on its website as a place that "combines classy and affordable craft cocktails and pizza, in a setting welcoming to all.". They also host live jazz, hip hop and DJs in the evening a few nights a week. It's a tiny place with maybe 12 tables and a few bar seats and tall bar tables. The whole place holds maybe 60 people. There is no real stage, just a clearing for the band.
We got there late and sat at the bar which is to the side of where they had set up the band. Most people were focused on the music but some of the tables had people chatting through the evening. Many people eating dinner everyone drinking. So my friend and I are chatting, loud enough to hear each other because the music was loud but trying to be quiet enough so as not to disturb those around us.
The band is instrumental jazz, much of it kinda rocking. But then they get to this quiet slow piece and towards the end the guy next to us leans over and said "nobody else is talking. can you guys stop talking just during this song?" We did stop talking and the song ended like 10 seconds later.
The place was a cafe with a band placed at a clearing in the corner. This wasnt a theater or even a real music venue. This wasnt a ticketed concert although there was $5 cover at the door. They serve a full dinner menu.
Was I the asshole for talking while the band was playing a quiet piece? Again we were talking quietly, but the guy right next to us could probably hear us. We were not in front of the band or at any tables near the band, we were seated at the bar towards the corner.
Tl/dr: hushed for talking during a quiet song while a band was playing at a bar, aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XRVxaNE0p69rBbcdXv3bCwUy5taNNei2 | b321yp | {
"description": "being 18, an only child, and never having my own room",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA? I’m 18, an only child, and have never had my own room | I am an eighteen year old female. I live with my dad and his partner in a two bedroom home. My dad and my mom have been divorced since I was just a year old. My dad is a hoarder. It’s not as bad as many of the people you see on TLC’s Hoarders, but to give you an idea of how bad it is, my entire life my closet (which doesn’t have a door) has been overflowing with my dads clothes. Both of the coat racks in my room are stuffed full of his clothing, underneath my bed and in my dressers he has boxes of his clothes. His own closet is also full, as well as our living room, dining room, garage, storage unit, and my grandmas house and her garage as well. Because I don’t have enough places to put my things, my room is constantly a mess. As a child I was never allowed to have friends over because of how messy our house always is.
I have been begging my dad for years to clean out my closet so that I can use it. I am sick of seeing his things in my room. I feel like I don’t have my own space, not even inside my own room.
Recently, I had a realization. I am a fucking adult! I deserve to be respected by my dads. I took an entire day emptying my closet of his things and placing them in nice stacks in the living room for him to deal with. I removed literally 50 pairs of shoes from my closet as well as 10 leather jackets, about 30 belts, and I swept and cleaned my room as well as I could. I was so proud of myself. I put my clothes in my closet and tidied up my room. It was the cleanest I’ve ever been able to have it.
My dad came home just as I was finishing up and noticed his clothes in the living room. He proceeded to have a meltdown and yelled and me and I ended up leaving in tears and staying the night at a friends house. The next time I came home all of my clothes were piled on my bed and his stuff was pushed back into my closet. I was devastated.
My room is now the messiest it has ever been. I have no motivation to clean and I feel absolutely disheartened. I just kick things around my room instead of putting them away because what’s the point? The rest of our house looks like a pigsty anyways.
When I complain to him about my dirty room, he shifts the blame. “Well it’s your fault for not cleaning.” He acts like my effort to take back my closet was at no cost to me. I spent a whole day getting my room in shape for it all to go to shit.
Am I the asshole? How do I deal with my dads hoard? I still have to live with him, but I have no space of my own and never have. Ugh!!! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
zdOqIo9YWYWyDYo2hrKMVZahGHTKqF88 | b0yxtu | {
"description": "cutting contact with my extended family after they didn't remember my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for cutting contact with my extended family after they didn't remember my birthday? | My extended family is small.
I was close to uncle Dave and aunt Marie when I was a kid and they were "cool aunt and uncle". They have two boys, Mike and Tony. Mike is few years younger than me and Tony just turned 18. His birthday party is this Saturday and also a reason why I'm writing here.
As years went on my mental health deteriorated but I don't know how much they know since no one ever bothered to ask me anything. What I do know is they treat me as... As if I'm stupid. Like I don't understand concepts of politics, relationships and "adulting" altogether.
My dad and Dave were raised by narcissistic grandpa Tom that died in late October of 2018. Their mom died back in 2001. Grandpa Tom was abusive asshole. He had a sister that was always treat as "damaged goods" by their parents and grandpa was sunniest sun there is. They enabled shithead to achieve his full shitty potential, but I digress.
My parents never treated me and my brother any different. Even if they did it wasn't because of our genders. What I do feel when I'm around my extended family is that same dismissive attitude people have when they view someone as "less worthy".
For example, if I were to come to Tonys birthday party it would be expected from me to help with serving people, doing the dishes, etc. I wouldn't be asked and I would end up being the rude one if I didn't help.
When they ask me something I often get corrected about *my opinions* as if whatever opinion I have is wrong. Sorry that I don't hate LGBTQ+ community, my bad. Sorry that my own divorce isn't good enough proof that I know what steps needs to be taken in order to get divorced.
Mike and Tony picked up same behaviour and I don't feel like part of family at all. Just annoyance that comes with my parents.
In early December I had my birthday. Birthdays are important to me.
What ended up being dot on the "i" was when uncle Dave called 17 days later to wish me happy birthday with some bullshit excuse. Few days prior he sent me pics of grandpa's dog that he adopted so it's not like we weren't in contact. You may ask "who does that"? Well, someone who will remember my brothers birthday is coming up (late December) and that they skipped mine. Upsie.
I'm just done. They have a lot on their plate but so do my parents who ask about Mike and Tony, then remember what they were told and follow up with situations. Not because they have to but because they are honestly interested in their well being.
I will not attend Tonys party, I haven't sent him a birthday wish.
My parents and my brother know who I truly am and they know I have more to bring to the table then just "help in the kitchen" and be quite around other guests.
So AITA for cutting them off after no one reached out on my birthday? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
0SlX3RKB7vOX7eLCGg9HJTQlp4wFwP1a | anfr5i | {
"description": "calling a girl out on her shady interactions with me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling a girl out on her shady interactions with me? | Little backstory: I stopped talking to a girl a few years ago because I tried a romantic relationship, but it didn't work out. She still wanted to hang out with me, but I told her I couldn't for my own sake. She understood.
A few weeks ago she got in contact with me again wanting to reconnect. I was hesitant, but started speaking with her again. We tried scheduling things, but something always got in the way for her. I tried to be understanding with her supposed "constantly changing" work schedule, and her child.
But whenever I tried to ask about meeting up, she'd never text back. But she'd be all over social media. I'd give it some good time, like a day or two and check back again, but still would avoid my questions and give some excuse. She's done this kind of thing in the past, and I just thought I'm not dealing with it again. I told her I understand if she's busy, but her "constantly changing" work schedule didn't add up to her days off and days she said she had her child.
I told her I'm not going to play any weird games, and have been completely transparent. She started avoiding my questions again and I didn't like that. She never replied for a day, so I just said I don't think she's being straight up with me and wished her the best. I then blocked her on anything I was connected to with her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
gbaRQbkBRmNifVoEXeHvPb8TBbId7yii | alplrg | {
"description": "asking a woman if Im better at sex than her dead husband",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA For asking a woman if im better at sex than her dead husband? | Theres more to this than just the title but i couldnt fit everything in. All of this is extremely NSFW just as a warning.
I am involved in the cuckold fetish community as a "bull". A cuckold is a guy who enjoys other men fucking his wife or gf, a bull does the fucking. I have been doing this for four years and im now addicted to it. I have a very dominant personality and i like humiliating and shaming people, husbands and wives.
I have "owned" a married couple for seven months. We all pretty much got very close. The husband was an elderly man in his 70s with a wife in her 30s. I frequently used humiliating language during the sex which was consensual for all parties.
The husband died before Christmas from a stroke. I have still been seeing the wife sexually, however when i started to verbally insult him she got offended despite me doing it many times before. I understand maybe telling me to not to do that out of respect but she reacted very negatively and called me an asshole, which came as a shock.
When youre in that fetish zone some things are going to be said, right or wrong, and i feel like that should matter in the context of the situation. Outside of sex i got along with the guy, but during sex with his wife i humiliated him, which is what i was doing again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
YNNakKIFdvjd3ohBW4JhfEJK9pd1JMDs | a3q95i | {
"description": "not gathering at my deceased uncle's home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not gathering at my deceased uncle's home? | My mother's brother died from Cancer a few years back. He died early in the morning (~4 am) and later that day, some of my family went to his home. He had 4 children (all over 20+ years old) and a wife. Family that went to his home included my parents, some of my aunts and cousins. I was told they sat together and cried and reminisced and this was to show support. I didn't feel the environment would be beneficial to anyone, so I didn't go. Instead I had a pretty typical day and even went to the gym.
Later on that day, my dad was furious with me for not "supporting my mother" during this grievance. I told him it was stupid to sit there for hours, because my presence wasn't going to help anyone. He was heartbroken and sad and cried over this, though I remained angry that I was confronted. I did attend the funeral and burial service at my mother's side the entire time. Even years later, I'm told that I was wrong to not be in attendance. I told my mother that I felt like I was being told that my way to grieve was wrong, but maybe I'm being selfish. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
tSOfwoWhEspDVeeokm0KnP1KSZpdxNbs | adj9kf | {
"description": "platonically kissing a girl who has depressive episodes and going through the first stages of a break up",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for platonically kissing a girl who has depressive episodes and going through the first stages of a break up | Last Saturday, I attended a “going away” party for a friend who’s headed into the Air Force. Including myself and my girl friend, all the people in the party are a close knit friends of about 15 people. Prior to the party, a girl, who I’ll call “K”, and I have been talking about her emotional struggles with her relationship and her inability to see a future within herself. I aided her to the best of my ability and throughout the night of the party, I continued to do so. Right after I’ve almost sobered up and I was about to leave, K suggests she and I go swim in a nearby lake. I say yes, but with no actual intention to do so because it was around 20F that night. She and I walk to the lake, continuing to talk about her mental state and once we reached our destination, I prevent her from swimming. We talk for around 20 minutes and before we decided to head back, I ask to platonically kiss her. I ensure her that my girl friend would not mind so she says yes and we do so.
We head back and I get in my car to leave and as I was about to put the car on drive, K leans in through my car door and kisses me again. This time longer and slightly more involved. K asks to text her once I get home and I head on my way.
Later in the morning, I hear from my girl friend that immediately after I left, K cried into one of my friends arms. I’m not sure what was discussed, but I hurt K and confused her when I was genuinely attempting to help her. I’ve had to leave the group chat we’re all in and I’m not talking to anyone there for at least a week in order to give them space.
AITA for doing what I did? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
MJ5VmfH4qPalx0BtI3ccPeDRL8YvkvR8 | b2n3jn | {
"description": "saying I knew I was always destined for success",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for saying I knew I was always destined for success? | So I got a promotion recently and the pay is VERY high. For some background, I am a 26 year old guy and I studied at a prestigious university (top 10 in my country).
Now when I met with my friends to celebrate, we had some drinks and I said ''Deep down, I always knew that I was destined for success'' and one of my friends (26F) said ''Don't be an arrogant arrogant''.
Wtf, how is that being an asshole? I 100% believe what I said. I had full faith/conviction that I would be a success since I was a kid. I never once doubted or questioned whether I'd be successful. Sure I struggled and had hard times but I always knew I'd be a success, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
ivHsuTIC7BusN9iLNSc4W6LxMsZSpm6g | b7sb3d | {
"description": "reporting a delivery driver that hit on me",
"pronormative_score": 110,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for reporting a delivery driver that hit on me? | Okay so I am a 22 year old woman living in an apartment with my best friend. Today is Sunday, she works and I don't. I ordered food from a company that could rhyme with Floor Crash. My driver arrived quickly and the food was right, however:
When he arrived and I opened my door, he smiled at me in a way that made me uncomfortable. I thanked him, quickly took my food, and closed and locked my door. Not even two minutes later I received a text message that said, verbatim, "Hey u really pretty and I mean no disrespect but if you don't have a man can we hang out sometime [personal phone number]".
I was immediately super uncomfortable, because as far as he knows I live alone and he has my address. I didn't answer him and immediately reported him. Almost all of my female friends I told, including my roommate, were equally shocked and agreed with me. My dad, partner, and brothers agreed with me. But a few of my other female friends and almost all of my male friends said I was an asshole, that I probably got him fired for it, and that it was him harmlessly shooting his shot. I'm conflicted, because the main reason I'm uncomfortable is that I'm at home. If I were in public I'd have politely declined and walked away, but I'm at home.
So, reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 106,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 110,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
U5dWTY7QktH21QMwG2CvxuCkJuPyyZsp | b95wb5 | {
"description": "not reaching out and warning an ex her (possibly mine) having a genetic blood disorder",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | WIBTA if I didn't reach out and warn an ex her son (possibly mine) could have a genetic blood disorder? | On mobile so possible format issues.
About a decade ago I screwed around with a married woman who was still active with her husband. She got pregnant but didn't want to find out (and sincerely) didn't care who the father was/is. I broke contact because she played games and manipulated my emotions.
I had health issues in the past she was aware of, blood clots. Was tested for a genetic disorder my father was diagnosed with and his father likely had. Test was negative.
Fast forward several years. I had a series of micro strokes that caused a pretty big stroke event. Retested for the blood disorder and I have it. I debated get in touch with her to give a heads up but absolutely do not want the drama and insanity she tends to carry with her back into my life.
WIBTA if I didn't attempt to contact her and let her know I do have it and if her son is mine he potentially has it too? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
GpJA6rLvUXEN7dDGMs04LjvPUeDWJUbX | b1wxjg | {
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to go on vacation without me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to go on vacation without me? | I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Just a little backstory: Right before we made it official that we were boyfriend/girlfriend and that we were exclusive, he went down to Florida to visit some friends and ended up having a one night stand with this one girl that was friends with his friends down there. I didn’t count it as cheating because we hadn’t discussed being exclusive and putting a label on our relationship, but it still hurt me a little bit.
Fast forward to present day, his brother wants to go to this convention this summer down in Florida over my boyfriends birthday. My boyfriend said I could come with them when he was talking about it a few weeks ago because then we could celebrate his birthday and I happen to be off school that week, too. Today we are at his parents house, and his mom is asking him questions about the trip and if him and his brother are going to drive or fly, where they’re staying and what not. I got a little bit suspicious because she hadn’t mentioned anything about me, so when his mom left, I mentioned it to him. He tried to tell me that he never actually said I could go (he definitely did) and kept saying “you don’t want me to have a nice vacation? I haven’t been on a vacation in so long.” I explained to him that it just hurt my feelings because he told me I could go and I got excited (I haven’t been on vacation in years either) and it was disappointing to hear that he was now planning to go without me. I also was excited to spend his birthday with him because he has an oilfield job and is only home every two weeks for 6 days, so I already get limited time with him. Here’s where the backstory from the beginning of this post comes in, too. He hasn’t given me any reason to believe he would ever cheat or anything, but I have severe anxiety and can’t stop thinking about what happened all those years ago.
So, Reddit, am I being an insecure asshole about this or do I have a little bit of a reason to be pissed? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
pJOuwvn1hDq3koTEMqYNT5SMsFHoXRtd | afibph | {
"description": "dozing off while watching tv with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for dozing off while watching TV with my boyfriend? | I would like to start by saying that my boyfriend "and I are now broken up for unrelated reasons, but he made me feel like an asshole through our entire relationship.
My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) work at the same place in different sections where we have no contact during work. We work similar hours, but live by different schedules. He wakes and stays up later than me by 1-3 hours, depending. Because of this, while we would watch Hulu/Netflix after work, I would eventually begin to doze off. He would make attempts to rouse me before getting annoyed with me for it. When he was annoyed he would snap at me. Going to sleep by myself wasn't an option because he would be upset that I didn't want to cuddle with him. If we did go to bed when I wanted to, he would either watch shows on his phone with headphones in or play games on his phone or switch. If I could, I would take mid-day naps so I could stay up a little later. The problem was, he would also be upset about that if it meant missing our shows.
I was always under the mindset that, because it was on streaming services, if I felt I missed too much of an episode due to my dozing off I could just watch it again. He was not a fan of watching an episode more than once. He found it annoying and boring. I believed that TV shows had no real bearing on my real life so they were not super important, but he wanted me to pay full attention to the shows. If I checked my phone at all, to reply to a message or look something up, he would pause the show and watch me while waiting for me to put my phone back down. While I understand that your partner getting on their phone can be quite annoying in certain circumstances, I didn't see a problem with doing it occasionally for a short time, where he did.
All this being said, am I the asshole for dozing off while watching shows with my boyfriend at the time? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LPprMhLPnc936ENieOMt2GlzkswN8w54 | 9wuf05 | {
"description": "contemplating on stealing/saving a dog",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for contemplating on stealing/saving a dog? | Hear me out folks, I have only good intentions with this post. I'm also on mobile so I'm sorry for the layout.
My boyfriend lives directly off a highway, that "T's" with a residential neighborhood. The entire town is in the mountains and based off this highway.
A few weeks ago (it feels), bf and i were outside and spotted a dog sprinting to the back of his yard. The dog was hesitant to approach bf but had no issue coming up to me and licking my face. On his collar, there were two phone numbers and an address that was located around the corner from bfs house. We called both numbers, multiple times. One number was a non-area code number so we chose to go with the second number. The other number had a woman answer. Bf said, "Hi! We've got your dog around the corner, etc." Lady says she doesn't have a dog. So we try the other number, same lady answers and asks who we are this time. Bf says, "My name is _____, I live off of ______. We have your dog"
Lady, once again, says she doesn't have a dog. We decided to take him to the address on his collar. We stood on the porch for a good 10 minutes for a very spacey, black toothed woman to openthe door slightly. Just open enough to let the dog in and make eye contact. No response or thank you, just a shut door. Now, I only mention her looks because, in this town, drug users come here for cheap rent and solidarity. I'm not a complete asshole who thinks of people as incapable of something based on their looks. It's a very comfortable town, people go to the store and find their entire neighborhood in there as well.
When someone knocks on the door or rings the bell, people tend to automatically answer. This woman did not. We were actually contemplating on how to write her a note, saying we had her dog, if she didn't answer.
About 10 minutes ago, bf and I are walking up to his house after picking up baby brother from school and, in a straight line, the same dog sprinted to us. Immediately called the dog by his name and he was so happy. He was excited to get into the car with us once again. He knows where his home is too. The moment we get to the property, he wants to sprint to the door and inside the house. But then the same woman answers (at a normal pace this time) , recognizes us and begins to shut the door. Bf even says, "We found your dog again!" as some small talk, and she just chuckled and shut the door again. We don't expect a reward or even much of a discussion. But most people express their anger or concern when a pet is returned to them.
I also had a chance to really pet the dog. He feels skinny, but his fur makes it hard to really tell. I'm not familiar with his breed either, so i don't want to make assumptions about a good or bad home. The main factor that's making me want to take him home with me is that it's such a dangerous area to have an animal loose. Cat owners bring in their cats as the sun is going down because mountain lions or coyotes will get them. There's a major highway just a block over that takes human lives like no tomorrow, imagine the number of animals it's stolen. If the dog is a fence jumper, the owner should keep him inside for most of the day, or attempt to make the fence more capturing. He's not a Husky either, I know those little guys are escape artists. In my mind, I think this owner is neglectful.
Of course, I won't go to the lady's home and take her dog. But if I have to save him again, for the third time, why shouldn't I save him and take him to a loving and caring home? I will admit, I recently lost my childhood dog and am looking for another furry friend, but this isn't desperation or needy-ness. This is pure concern, with good intention. So, Reddit. Would I be the asshole for trying to save this dog? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9scmBWiRETj2Kj4tQYFk1Qcg7lsm2aLz | aw08fs | {
"description": "confronting my S.O.'s friends for messing with our open relationship",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | WIBTA for confronting my S.O.'s friends for messing with our open relationship? | I don't believe in exclusive relationships. I don't think love should restrict people in any way, and I think people should be free to express love to anyone and not reserve it for one person. I've been in a wonderful open relationship for quite some time now. (Let's call her Ava) Neither of us have ever even pursued other people outside our relationship, and neither of us plan to, but we like the idea of having the freedom to do so if we chose.
Admittedly, I don't think Ava shared my belief originally, but after I told her what I felt she came around to agreeing with me. Ever since, we've been in a great relationship with practically no problems. Once she told me she was anxious that a female friend I was hanging out with would "steal" me, so I cut ties with the friend pretty quick because I don't want to worry her.
Ava has two friends she sees every day. We're cool with each other. We often hang out just the four of us, but I'm newest to the group. Every day when I'm not there, those two friends roast Ava for being in a relationship with me. They tell her that I'm using her, I don't really love her, etc. They literally call me a crackhead when I'm not around. It got to the point where Ava said that I'm almost all they talk about anymore. I was cool with it because I knew Ava knew those things weren't true. We figure they're either uncomfortable with our open relationship or jealous, because they've been single their whole lives. The thing is though, they're both cool people. I get that they're doing this because they think they're protecting her.
A couple hours ago, I went to see Ava and she was visibly troubled and sad. She told me that they really roasted her more than normal today, and one of them said "This isn't really a roast, you just think it is because you know we're right." Apparently that got to her, and she told me that she's anxious about our relationship now. The whole night we kept saying that we were content with our situation, we loved each other, and we didn't want to end things, but she was still troubled after what her friends said. Against my beliefs, I agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with her because I knew it'd make her feel better.
Later I realized that the whole thing was spurred by these two friends. Basically, I had to surrender a belief I held highly because they got in her head. I wanted to go to their houses and ask them to stop harassing Ava about us, direct and honest, but I figured I'd wait a day to clear my head. I don't want to tell Ava about it because I know she'll tell me not to, then I'd have to go against her wishes. Tomorrow I'm probably going to talk to them, WIBTA?
TL;DR: My significant other's friends harass her about our happy open relationship. This made her anxious, so I had to change to an exclusive relationship, which I don't believe in. I want to confront them and tell them to stay in their lane. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
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"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
H5vI9HTqgKuoKFn0pC6Qd0GeL5hjKfNJ | arn6l3 | {
"description": "telling a gay person to \"leave me the fuck alone\"",
"pronormative_score": 114,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling a gay person to “Leave me the fuck alone” | So recently a gay student at my school who I’ll call Dave. Dave is gay and he made sure we all knew that. So our class schedule changed meaning our lunch changes making us change who we eat lunch with.
So when me and my friends sat down to eat lunch Dave sat with us, and we didn’t think anything of at first until halfway through lunchtime he said (No joke) “Hi everyone, my names Dave and I’m gay”. We didn’t care and didn’t give any attention to him... until he started hitting on us. At first he said stuff like “I want to swallow your kids” and “I want to see you in bed”, however these comments were mainly directed at me.
So recently he started getting more up close and personal like screaming in my ear and getting face to face, in me and my friends opinion to close. So on Valentine’s Day he said I want you to be mine and touched my upper thigh. I was shocked. I shouted “Get the fuck away from me!” He moved seats and started crying. Later the day a couple of his friends confronted me saying I’m a homophobic asshole.
Soo Reddit AITA. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 113,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 114,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
se34OzTC6tkmv1FtU7EWfbouI0rucJOf | ax9xxi | {
"description": "refusing to supervise an employee at another company",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For refusing to supervise an employee at another company? | Background: My company (company 1)works very closely with our sister company (company 2). Both companies are owned by the same people and we do a lot of work that is shared between us.
'Joe' has my job, at company 2. We've worked together in the past on cooperative projects and while I've seen that he's definitely skilled, he as very a crappy attitude about everything. I've also found I can't rely or depend on him holding up his end, and the work he does on round one is usually half-assed and reeks of laziness. It's not a big problem as I tend to adjust for this assumed delay and it's more of a mild frustration to work around for me.
Last month the higher-ups at both companies decided that I needed to take responsibility in directing Joe by monitoring his output, holding him accountable to goals, and having him report to me. Basically, I'd basically be his supervisor. I've told them this is going to cause problems since:
1. He doesn't work for company 1
2. I wouldn't 'technically' be his boss
3. I'm having added duties to my job but not seeing compensation for it.
I've told them this and mentioned that if hey really wanted a handle on his effectiveness it would need to be monitored with his manager at company 2. Office politics wise: I feel that company 2 is trying to pawn off their problem employee they don't want to deal with.
I refused and now my boss (who I consider a very reasonable and like-able guy) told me in the nicest way that I'm being a bit of an asshole by not getting on-board with their plans.
After this it was made clear that, regardless of wither Joe stayed at company 2 or not, I'd be in line for a pay increase and an additional hire for my team in about three months. Company 1 has been good in the past with following through on these kinds of promises.
Here is my question: Should I feel like the asshole for refusing an odd managerial request OR Am I in the clear for seeing a train wreck before it happens?
&#x200B;
TL:DR: My company wants me to take on a role I'm uncomfortable with. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6Pftp4VGqdCzVnvjoqNZ3tK3f8py53qD | albv2m | {
"description": "demanding my sister in law to pay for the damages she caused to my property",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For demanding my sister in law to pay for the damages she caused to my property? | So, a bit of backstory, I bought a truck, 2018 silverado 8 miles on it, brand new, in May2018. My sister in law, who recently turned 18, came to live with my wife and i in june. Due to reasons, I've been separated from my wife for the better part of 2018, since august and my wife has had the truck this entire time. Since she's had it, I've had her pay for the truck and its expenses, i.e. insurance and any repairs.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, January 5th, my wife thought it would be a brilliant idea to let her sister, drive the truck. Now i don't know exactly what happened, but she crashed it. My wife "forgot" to put full cover insurance on it, so they won't fix it. So I tell my sister in law, "you've been working since you got here, you must have some money saved up, You're going to help me fix this." She blatantly refused saying she didn't have to pay for anything because it wasn't her fault and is accusing me of being unfair for expecting her to do so, however according to my wife and the police report and the insurance company, she was the at fault driver. But this girl has even convinced my wife that she doesn't have to pay for anything.
Anyways this has left me extremely frustrated and now loathing my sister in law.
So am i the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
rmisII28Wim4VXKGP4AQkVesuAZEghMJ | arjl35 | {
"description": "being angry with my mom for telling my girlfriend that she doesn't get her blessing unless she becomes a Christian",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for being angry with my mom for telling my girlfriend that she doesn’t get her blessing unless she becomes a Christian? | I love my mom to death. She’s a very religious Christian. I was raised going to church every Sunday and I’ve also been baptized, however since I’ve moved out and lived alone, I’ve adjusted my views and see myself as atheist. My mom doesn’t know this because she’d be very upset. She had a heart attack ~5 years ago due to stress which she attributes to my siblings being drug addicts and taking the wrong path in life. I’ve been quite successful in my life by going to college and getting a great job. So hopefully you can see my hesitation on telling her my religious stance when I know it’d stress her out greatly and that isn’t good for her health.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now. One of the first questions my mom asked is when we started dating was if she is is a Christian. My reply was no and I told her she was atheist. I could’ve lied, however I’m generally truthful with my mom, minus the part about not telling her I don’t see myself as a Christian anymore. What she doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her.
My mom has family over for Christmas every year and this is the second time my girlfriend came with me. During the festivities, about two hours or so in, my mom pulls my girlfriend aside in another room and tells her she isn’t giving her blessing to her unless she accepts Jesus and becomes a Christian. I had no clue this happened until after we left and my girlfriend unleashed her anger in the car. Keep in mind that my girlfriend kept her cool for the remainder of the evening until we left. We stayed for another two hours; I have no clue how my girlfriend kept her composure during that time. Props to her.
When we get back to her house, I text my mom asking if she said that, which she confirmed. I told her she was out of line and I was angry because it was completely unprovoked and hurtful. I explained how upset I was with her and that even if I had plans to marry her anytime soon that I would disregard her non-blessing because it’s our lives and not hers. She decided to call me and proceeds to lecture me on why being equally yolked is important to god and that it would never work if we believed in different things. She wasn’t understanding what did wrong and doesn’t believe she said anything out of line. At that moment I considered telling her I was atheist out of anger, however I didn’t because obviously I don’t want to stress out her heart and again, what she doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her. My girlfriend and I eventually let it go; we left it in the past and moved on.
Queue to today. My girlfriend shares a pro-abortion post on Facebook. Her and my mom are friends and my mom decides to write out a lengthy comment on the shared post about why abortion is wrong according to Jesus’ will. My girlfriend and her end up having a keyboard battle over the subject which results in my mom blocking my girlfriend on Facebook. Again, I didn’t know about this until after it happened. I called my mom and railed into her about this. She goes on to say that she’s seen many posts she didn’t agree with and decided to speak up finally, which I told her she shouldn’t have and should’ve just unfollowed her on Facebook so that she didn’t see her posts in her timeline if she had a problem with them. My mom insists she doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but I beg to differ considering the event that happened during Christmas.
Anyways, I’m pretty heated with my mom considering everything. I don’t really know what to do about the situation. I almost want to cut contact with my mom for a bit because of this. Obviously that’s not something I want to do because I love her, I just don’t know what else to do though to make her understand.
Sorry for this wall of text. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
tVyGRqFX5hBaXuMz3mfkyFC7RSnlcBts | awssqk | {
"description": "throwing someone at my party to the ground",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for throwing someone at my party to the ground | Hey. So I was having a party of just friends that I know pretty well. One one the friends that is more on the side of an acquaintance, let’s call him joe, brought a +1 that I did not know, who we’ll call dough.
I was alright with dough because he was joes friend, but then he started doing very rude stuff at my house. We had the Nintendo switch out playing smash, and every time he lost he would throw the controller down to the carpet.
No one else was doing that, and he kept just throwing it to the ground like if it was his stuff. We didn’t get too and because the ground was carpet, but we were annoyed nonetheless.
Then later in the night, he kept opening his beers on my WOODEN furniture. He def dented my table and some other things. I was not ok with this. I mean, the table wasn’t really mine, it was a house mates, and the same for the other furniture, so I called him out.
Despite that, he kept doing it, so inicie decided to take the beers away from the party and just leave the canned ones to avoid confrontation.
Later, he was talking about how some beers he brought sucked, and then I jokingly replied, “yeah they suck” and he got extremely defensive about it. He kept saying “fuck you” and “what did you say bro,” and then he squared up to my face. I told him to gtfo of my house and he said he wouldn’t.
That’s when I got mad and I decided to hold his fists because I did not want to fight. I then told him to gtfo, and I then pushed him all the way through the hall way through out the door because he kept pushing me and trying to free his hands like he was going to punch me.
When I got to the door, he pushed against the wall and tried pushing me down, but I remember all the wrestling from hs loll and just flipped him to the floor.
Now I know there are no rules in fight, but while I had him in the floor, he kept trying to bite me. I just grabbed his head and pushed it to the floor to keep him from actually biting me.
I then lifted him and literally threw him out the door. His friend left shortly after. He was “sorry”.
I live with a bunch of other people, so I didn’t want to fight in our house. The thing is though, some of the housemates were there but while I was holding him, they did nothing They heard me tell him to gtfo, but they just watched. Like wtf? Should I feel guilty? Did I do wrong? AITA? Are the Roomate’s the assholes? The guy?
Just venting. Sorry. Don’t know who is the asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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