id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
I2QFgfndT05fvi88eDQXv2KH1pzCokOk | b23zqb | {
"description": "thinking that Emo culture is insensate to those with Depression",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking that Emo culture is insensate to those with Depression? | Before I start this, I just want to say that I'm honestly not too knowledgeable on Depression; and that people currently battling Depression have nothing but my upmost support. That being said though, I guess I know the basics and how it effects people. Which is why it makes me angry when these emos constantly bring up that they supposedly have crippling depression depression.
Cause from what I heard, people who legitimately suffer from depression seldom or don't bring up the fact they have depression at all. And to me, it seems like emos just think that depression is just having a pessimist view on life. Completely underestimating Depression for people who don't have it.
Again, I would love to hear if I am the asshole or not. As it would allow me to help people dealing with this mental condition. And it would allow me to separate those actually dealing with depression from the phonies using it just to get attention. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iVc5BEOJwTBCdtVFuZFAuSXdnWWZ83G7 | aybpst | null | AITA that my dog died while I was out of town! | A few weeks ago my beloved dog was diagnosed with a condition which made her protein levels drop. She was being treated by the bet and medication.
Last weekend info-hosted a 60th birthday party for my Mom ( it was planned before dog got sick). She lives about 3 hours away from me. I was a little concerned about my dog but she seemed to be doing better so I packed up my kids and left for the weekend.
My husband did not want me to go (for many reasons) but mainly the dog as sick. He was home with her all weekend. Although he was kind of pissed at me for going “ against his wishes”.
The kids and I were going to head home on Sunday morning but a big snow storm prevented that, so we stayed an extra day.
On Sunday night my husband calls me and informs me that our dog died, I was heartbroken but my husband was just angry that I wasn’t there.
I drive home Monday morning feeling awful and listening to two heartbroken kids cry about the loss.
We get home and my husband unloads on me- “
I told you not to go, you’re selfish for leaving me here to deal with this alone, the kids should have been here” (he really loved the dog too). We get into an argument and he’s still pissed at me.
So am I the asshole for going to the pre-planned party while my dog was sick or is my husband the asshole
for getting angry? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
kR7pTrrl3itaiI0UET7T2BQ2CUbgzkkJ | b1vcga | {
"description": "insisting on money I was promised",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for insisting on money I was promised | So here's the whole story:
My grandparents live in another country than me and my parents do, but they have an bank account here. Most of the time when I have birthday or get my school report etc. my grandpa (R.I.P.) said on the phone, that my father (his son) should take some money from said bank account and give me and my siblings some, since he is not there to give us a present or something. My father always didn't do that, but his siblings, also living in the same country as me and my parents, most likely did. I can't tell for sure, but I expect them to do so.
Now my grandpa died and the money he owns got split among my grandma and my father and his siblings. I am now in university and living on my own and the rent in the city I study is pretty high. The students loan covers it and I got a little bit money left, but still. A couple of months ago my grandma told my father to take some money from said bank account and pay one month of my rent. And my father didn't.
What makes me angry is, that a cousin of mine got a considerable amount of money from my grandparents every month, just because my aunt whined about how expensive the university of said cousin is. And I still didn't got the money I was promised by my grandpa since middle school.
Also there is to ad that my grandma is either greedy or she just don't like me and my siblings, since she does not like my mother either. But not my grandpa he cared a lot for all of us.
Don't get me wrong I am not doing bad, the money my parents make and I get in student loans is enough and it covers everything.
AITA for internally insisting on the money I was promised by my grandparents? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
U9DLEBpblMvrgVXsDU7CtU4EvLELSTAX | b73o3h | {
"description": "cursing out a dude I hate at a party",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cursing out a dude I hate at a party? | Let me give you context and then the incident.
My friend and I were bridesmaids in another friend's wedding. Besides their family, it was the first time I met my friends' other friends. The wedding took about a year to plan with lots of various parties along the way. We all got along fine until the actual wedding, where a groomsman was a total asshole to me (although, not to my friend... yet). He mocked my laugh when we were all chatting and drinking at the reception. He mocked me again when I cried as the bride and groom left.
So, I pretty much hated the guy after that.
That brings me to now. The couple just got back from their honeymoon and about half the wedding party (including the groomsman, my friend, and me) had another party. He was being a bit of an ass but was otherwise fine until the end of the night.
We were all leaving and doing the typical goodbyes/hugs and when the groomsman got to my friend, he didn't hug her, and the following exchange happens:
Groomsman: Bye \[wrong name\]
Bride: Her name is \[friend\]
G: Oh! Your other fat friend.
We all just stood in awkward/stunned silence. My friend kind of stumbled away, about to cry. First, we all knew each other by now, he knew her name, and we've all NEVER joked like this before. Second, my friend has serious health issues affecting her weight and it's an extremely sensitive topic. On top of that, she also has brain damage from the radiation treatment of childhood cancer. I'm extremely protective of her.
Me: What did you just say?
G: Her... other fat friend?
Me: Did you seriously just say that? Is that supposed to be a joke? How fucking dare you. You don't know her like that. You apparently didn't even know her name. GO FUCK YOURSELF!
I stormed off and took my friend with me. She thanked me in the car going home because she could not handle that confrontation. So far I've received a lot of various texts about it - the groom just said, "that's the way \[groomsman\] is." The bride thinks I'm an asshole for cursing at him and, again, "thats just the way he is." (btw the bride knows all of our friend's triggers and was even her disability advocate in college!) ironically, the groomsman's girlfriend thinks he went too far and shouldn't have said what he said. the groomsman himself is pissed I yelled at him, doesn't think his joke is a big deal because "we're all fat," so he won't apologize.
ATIA?? my bride friend's reaction hurts the worst. I know I shouldn't have done it at her party, but the dude fucking deserved it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Evl9fbkAuh3EGow7mZsDLVdm0gVVzwEA | at520s | {
"description": "not paying for half of the towing charges for my friend's car",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not paying for half of the towing charges for my friend’s car? | This happened last night. Both my friend and I are college students. We decided to go out for a couple of beers, and since it was only a couple of beers, my friend decided to take his car, and pick me up along the way.
We got to the bars, and there wasn’t a lot of parking available. I saw one spot kind of in a corner, but my friend said that it’ll just be easier to park across the street in a Taco Bell parking lot. I agreed, jokingly saying that it was a perfect situation to pick up some Taco Bell afterwards.
We were at the bars for a couple of hours, and after coming out, noticed that the car was towed. We went into Taco Bell to check, and we were told that the parking lot was a private property, and we were taking up space of Taco Bell customers, so they had the car towed.
They gave us a number to call, and soon a towing company rep showed up. He said that the charge for the tow was $250, which was ridiculous.
After a lot of haggling, and threats to call the police, we cut a deal at $150, and got the car.
On the way back, my friend asked me to pay half of the towing price. I refused, saying that
A. It was his car, and his responsibility to park it properly, and I should not be held liable for anything. If it was a speeding ticket, he would be paying for it, and I don’t see a much of a difference here.
B. I told him to park at a different spot, but I also jokingly agreed to park at Taco Bell, but it really should not matter, since, once again, it was his decision to take the car, it is his property, and he should be responsible.
I really think that if this situation was reversed, he would have said the same thing.
He got really silent after all this, didn’t speak a lot, and while dropping me off just said ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’.
That really hurt me. I really do value our friendship, and would hate to see it go down for like $75. I would gladly call him, apologize, and pay him right away if I was the asshole in this situation, but I don’t know if I was. Reddit, the judgement is in your hands. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
B2C04rjtzd1ibFh6vSXkHYUpxzVm54gM | b3n6hs | {
"description": "not wanting to pay for something my roommates FWB broke",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to pay for something my roommates FWB broke? | My roommate had her FWB over one day while I wasn’t home. While he was there he smashed a lampshade by accident.
I told my roommate countless times to fix it, or tell the real estate as our lease was about to end.
She didn’t do anything and when it came time to move out we had $150 taken from our bond. A ridiculous amount of money for a small mistake that could have been rectified ourselves.
As I wasn’t home and he was her guest, I believe that she should pay the full amount. It was her problem, I told her that she needed to fix it and she chose to leave it.
Her argument is that because neither of us actually did it ourselves, we should split it. She also said if it were the other way around she’d split it no question. This particular roommate has a penny-pinching past, she’ll do anything to save a buck so I really don’t believe she would if it was the other way around.
AITA for not splitting the cost? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
m96P390XLM9yfFEYhbALd7s1NayZxonj | ay865c | {
"description": "trying to get my friend out of a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA For trying to get my friend out of a relationship | I know how that sounds but just wait.
Sorry if the formatting sucks this is my first post on this sub and I'm on mobile
So my close friend (13M) is going out with a 16 year old and everyone in my friend group thinks its absolutely disgusting. She is said to have 2-3 other boyfriends which he knows but doesn't care about and he says he loves her. My entire friend group has tried talking to him but he just won't listen.
HELP ME REDDIT! | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
7tNR6fpYRJkGRuowJaIbIwBzSjXdOJCe | akm7tj | {
"description": "refusing to go on an expensive trip my grandmother's planned",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I refused to go on an expensive trip my grandmother's planned? | Honestly, it should be more 'How much of an asshole' but still. Anyway, my nanna has planned for in July, 14 or so members of our family to go to Canada for two weeks. Which on one hand, does sound kinda nice, but I do have a few reasons for \*really\* not wanting to go.
\-My dad is a prick who I really hate seeing and being around. (See: [This post,)](https://www.reddit.com/r/myfriendwantstoknow/comments/5xzryt/mfwtk_if_their_dad_is_abusive/)
\-The idea of being stuck with family and no-one else for 2 weeks worries me. There's drama when family members come over for one goddamn day, let alone two weeks left alone with each other.
\-I'm kinda... worried about a friend and stuff. We chat everyday, and he's an internet friend, but he isn't exactly in the greatest place. I know its stupid, but I'm scared something might happen and I won't know.
\- I'm trans and whatever. I really want to just... kinda hurry up and get around to changing my name, all that stuf, and moving out. If I'm lucky, I might be able to start that sorta thing by March. But then going on this trip will obiviously fuck that up, and if my family finds out, i dunno./
\-And the stupidest reason. I'll miss my friends and my dog. idk. I know its only two weeks.
​
But yeah. What do you guys think? In all honesty, I'm probably just gonna end up going anyway, and probably enjoying it if just a little. But its been on my mind a lot lately and I want some other opinions. Thank you.
​
​
​ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
HjQmmakiE0SlSByHHG1rDhaBgqUvhubt | a3n3c0 | {
"description": "confronting my crush for lying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA if I confronted my crush for lying? | I told my crush almost two years ago that I have had feelings for her, and asked if she felt the same way. She said she has to think about it. Two months later she answered and said that no, and that she doesn't want to risk our friendship. Note that we had only talked a couple of times, so we didn't really have a friendship.
Some time later I felt that we had gotten a lot closer together and I wanted to let her know that I still wasn't over it. She said that she will promise to think about it herself. Six months later she said that she's busy with school. Note that at this time we didn't even have any school.
This has been bothering me for a long time now, so would I be the asshole for confronting her, or at least asking if she was lying the whole time? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
IsMpM0yR4QOor5twMphbmwSzGzScvu3N | b05hzb | {
"description": "making out with this girl at a party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making out with this girl at a party? | This happened years ago, but the incident kinda left a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended) so figured I'd see reddit's take on it, especially with a lot of people talking about "toxic masculinity" standards.
So, straight male here. Back in college I used to go to a lot of parties. I was somewhat of an awkward kid, never really had much success on the hookup/relationship department (except VERY scarcely and rarely I think I had one sex partner) but I had my share of friends, and at these parties I would mostly just end up floating around and mingling with my liquid courage and meeting new people, or just acting goofy and embarrassing myself (in a funny way, not one that would alienate people).
So once upon a time, at one of these parties, after I've had my share of liquid courage, I decide to step outside for some fresh air and I see this girl I know, with her friend that she introduces me to, I'll call her Sarah. She doesn't even go to school there, just up visiting. So I sit on the doorstep and start chatting her up, other girl goes back inside and leaves us alone. Like I said I've had my fix of alcohol and she may have too for all I know, as we make small talk and joke about random things eventually something leads to us moving closer and leaning in to each other, and making out. Or just pecking. Or maybe both, it happens several times, some initiated by her. After some time, we go back inside and I don't see her at all for the rest of the night. I start to suspect maybe she's avoiding me for some reason but who cares, doesn't really faze me.
Next morning I decide to add Sarah on social media just because. I add her, she asks "do I know you".
I remind her who I was and reference something we joked about. She then responds "to be honest I thought you were gay. Turns out you're just a creep."
You can probably imagine how I feel from that response, but I decide to show some class and say. "Well I'm sorry that you feel that way and for the misunderstanding. I'm most certainly not a creep. Nice meeting you, have a good day".
She then responds "yes you are a creep. Have a nice life."
And that's that. So, reddit, AITA? Did I do something wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8kQHihJD5rXU0cCtf4EFi5NcButvNePU | a8c2ye | {
"description": "being super annoyed with people that give Christmas cards",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being super annoyed with people that give Christmas cards? | I don't know what it is but I find getting Christmas cards really annoying. The people (or type of person) that give them out almost always annoy me. I'm not a scrooge or anything. I do work retail (sort of) but I'm adaptive. Am I the only one like this and does it make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
DguasTXhf9l5UInLANpgEuvjA9amGeNf | amtyg2 | {
"description": "taking a seat",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for taking a seat | So this happened a few weeks back.
We have this giant building on my campus where most of the student come to spend their time between classes. There are several floors, and the main floor filled with tables and desk which allowed the students to eat and study. Usually, this place is packed. On this day, I was roaming the area, trying to find a place to seat. My girlfriend was coming so a bigger table was my main objective. I circled around the seating areas and saw a person packing up so I waited beside the table. I'm not the most talkative person so I didn't ask if he was leaving (it was obvious from his actions). A few seconds later, this other guy (B) came up and asked the person packing if he was leaving. I did notice B before when I was looking for a spot but he was standing a little bit away from where we were now and not really moving. So the guy who was packing said he was and B waited for him to leave. I said to B that I was waiting for this table and that he should look for a different one. Here's the conversation that ensued.
B: "Did you ask for the table?"
Me: "No, but I'm standing here waiting for him to leave."
Guy packing: "B did ask first."
Me: "Why would asking be allowed to take something I was waiting for."
B: "See, he said this table should be mine."
Like a parking spot in a parking lot, the empty one goes to person who gets there first. I wasn't just going to give up this table.
Guy packing: "You guys can share the table."
Me: "I have a friend coming and I'm not obligated to share this table."
B: "No I asked first and you didn't, go find another one."
I clearly wasn't going to let this guy take the table and after a few minutes of talking, B stormed off angrily and I took the seat.
So AITA? Lesson also learned on communicating first. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
g107jdkGIFdJ98f3ClNsOxlQwMJTzxxD | b2ofm8 | {
"description": "standing with my bigoted grandfather",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 30
} | AITA for standing with my bigoted grandfather? | So my grandpa is a bigot. He's a homophobe, he's got issues with women and can come across as innocently racist. To basically everyone in my family, including my dad and aunt, his own kids, he's a an argumentative asshole. I've never felt that way about him, I've always had this connection with him. We look alike, our brains are wired in the same way, we've had a lot of the same problems in our lives.
To put it simply, he's basically me if he was raised in the 1940s with the threat of a belt hanging over him for 18 years. He's been through a lot, and it sort of broke him down. I'm not justifying his opinions, he's openly set out to provoke my parents, who are proud LGBT supporters, talking about "the gays" and stuff. He's pretty casually cruel as well, according to my dad he's never once acknowledged his accomplishments in life.
That's obviously not good, but he's been supportive of me, pretty much only me. I know I can't bring my girl there, since she's bi, and basically hated him on my description alone, my aunt refuses to let my cousins even see him, and my dad thinks I'm nuts for defending him.
AITA for standing with and defending my grandfather, despite the fact that he's pretty blatantly an asshole at times, and fairly bigoted? I | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 30
} | WRONG |
avEIFJnnoH1bR1T1n8z5G36GHA7fZrll | ar5wm5 | {
"description": "not wanting to be friends with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be friends with my ex? | Nearly a year ago I had a very short relationship with an ex boyfriend. It lasted maybe 3 or 4 months. We ended up breaking up because I discovered that I am a lesbian. I had a thorough talk with him and assured him that I had no hard feelings and the split was not his fault, it was just my self discovery.
We were able to be friends until the summer, where I found out he had been spreading rumors, making sexual comments, calling me an asshole for breaking up with him, etc. I decided to cut him off and basically ghosted him. I feel bad for ghosting him, but at the time we didn’t talk much anyways and I was very scared of confrontation and arguments.
He still talks to a few of my friends about me to this day. None of it is negative anymore though, just things like he wishes he could be my friend again or that he doesn’t think he’s over me. Because of how long we have been broken up compared to how long we were dating, it makes me uncomfortable that he might not be over me.
He and some of his friends have recently been saying to my friends that I have no reason to not talk to him anymore, and that his rude comments came from “a place of anger” that he is no longer experiencing.
My question is, AITA for not wanting to be friends or for feeling uncomfortable? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
JlZ45RWLdhZYielA7p5vnQ1pRLh1QIQ6 | aw20zq | {
"description": "calling it off without meeting up with her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling it off without meeting up with her? | was I right to break it off with this Tinder woman or should I give her another chance? I'm new to dating so nothing's a deal breaker. Yet. This woman, like everyone has pros and cons.
The pros are she’s beautiful- she has a very unique beauty to her, she’s really fun to talk to, very caring and funny and we share the same political values.
Cons are she smokes cigarettes and weed daily and eats a lot of fast food No judgment but it’s not compatible with my health nut habits. She talks freely about past hookups and her interactions with other guys on Tinder (idk if this is normal. it makes me feel a pinch jealous), also she’s an occultist—i’m agnostic that’s scared of ouija boards and ghosts
I thought it might cause complications later in the relationship but Today I woke up and realized i missed chatting with her. We hadn’t even met in person. am I an asshole? What would you do?
**TL;DR:** Was I too rash in breaking it off with a Tinder babe? Some of our lifestyle values don’t align but who said we had to get married? I still want to see her, want to at least experience going on a date with her. I think we could still be at least friends. should i reach out again? or let her be. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iyRLFdd7XXQy1HFGmxy7iDCp6dWb9YkM | ars42h | {
"description": "bringing up my jealousy to my so",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I bring up my jealousy to my SO? | Me (22F) and my SO (23M) have been together for four years, before we were a couple he had been head-over-heels in love with a high school friend (we'll call her Karen) a long time, I also know her and although we're not friends I acknowledge she's a nice person, Karen was always clear telling my SO she was not interested in a relationship but they were good friends nonetheless, and when high school was over they drifted appart
I'm normally pretty chill when it comes to my SO hanging out with his girl-friends or doing school group projects, he knows this, but lately he has been messaging Karen a lot, like I can see her messenger chat bubble on all the screenshots he sends me, or getting messages from her while we're hanging out together (sometimes he answer, sometimes he doesn't, this has been going on for a couple months and Ive not brought it up because of fear of coming out as too insecure, I also don't want him to think I've been snooping around their convo (which I haven't)
I know people have the right to be friends with whoever they want, but the girl you were in love with for two solid years before me? Seriously?
So, WIBTA if I told him it makes me feel uncomfortable? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tfIWrn4ciXC3UbkmuRiMIZBKsUPedrGM | afdjlz | {
"description": "asking for a divorce while my wife is in a psych ward",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for asking for a divorce while my wife is in a psych ward | About a week ago my wife intentionally overdosed. She lived. She was committed 5 days later after she received a clean bill of health from the ER/ICU. I knew at that point I could take no more of this in our 10 year marriage and I was done. This has not been her first attempt due to serious mental illness. Nothing has ever gone this far and this was the first time she has been committed. When she was young her mom intentionally overdosed and was successful in her attempt. We have a small child together who was luckily not home at the time. Earlier today I told her it was over. Am I the asshole for telling her after all she has been through and while she is still in a psych ward trying to unpack all she has been through over the past week? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
NzCiFJYT3ev9b6zYoLFWKyM6nF1KiRoN | ar7ry5 | {
"description": "telling wife I want a divorce when I don't",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 36
} | AITA for telling wife I want a divorce when i don't | Little bit of background here. I married my wife in May. I live in the US, she is in Europe. We are going through the immigration process and it's been a bit of a strain. She is currently living in Europe and I'm on the west coast.
I've gotten frustrated with her and told her I wanted a divorce, going as far as sending her the docs via email and asking her to fill them in and return them to me. I never really mean it. But I have told her I want a divorce at least half a dozen times since May.
I'm just frustrated and venting each time. We are supposed to go to a wedding in Paris in April and I might of also told her a couple of time that I am not going for various reasons
Just now we had a arguement I told her I am coming. But that I would just be attending the ceremony with her and spending time her rest of they time apart.
She called me out for being emotional abusive. I've just frustrated and venting. I don't mean any of it. Am I the asshole or am I a abuser? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 36,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 36
} | WRONG |
P2LHYDE59988KQxvinC1j6fldATXAuhU | a0kc53 | {
"description": "insulting my mother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for insulting my mother? | Hear me out here.
So, for context, I'm 17, and live with my grandmother (whose 77) and my family that used to live in Jersey. (Brother, sister in law, and 2 nieces.) I see my Mother occasionally on weekends and some weekdays. (My legal guardian is my grandma, my mom used to be a bad alcoholic, been sober for years.)
So, this happened yesterday. My mother told my grandma the day prior that she'd be at her house at 12, so grandma could call then. We tried up to 12:30, where me and grandma laughed it off, thinking she was just late as usual. We were right.
At 1:00, my mom called. I gave the phone to grandma, and about 5 minutes later, she comes to my door crying. Apparently, grandma joked with ma about how she was late, and ma took offense to it, and they got into a fight.
About a half hour later, I called my mom, and here's where I messed up.
This is 100% of what happened in the call.
Me: Mom, what did you say.
Mom: I said fine and hung up. (My guess is she was being sarcastic and said what she said at the end, grandma told me what she said to her later.)
Me: Everyday since thanksgiving, you've been acting more like (insert name of sister in law both me and grandma absolutely hate.)
Mom: HOW DARE YOU, (I couldn't make out the rest, since she was screaming.
Me: I'm just tired of seeing my goddamned grandmother cry!
Thats when she hung up.
Now me and grandma are sad as shit, and my sister in law and older niece hate us. ( from stuff that happened on thanksgiving) Mom usually calls a few times daily, and she hasn't called since.
AITA? And if so, how should I apologise? She won't pick up, and my sister won't drive us to where she lives. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
BYRL4jglp5F196I7UF7p0dJxjUJhKIN0 | aj5ggm | null | AITA for how I shovel the snow in front of my house? | Throwaway since my main is easy to identify where I live and work.
So I didnt grow up in a very snowy area - I have never had to shovel snow until I moved to the Midwest US a couple years ago. The last couple weeks we have been dumped on with snow. I just got lectured by my elderly neighbor this afternoon and I want to know if I'm being an asshole when it comes to shoveling snow.
My neighborhood has really wide sidewalks (like could fit 4-5 people side by side). We dont have an HOA but it's the general consensus of the neighborhood that you keep your sidewalk in front of your house and the walkway to your house cleared.
I work at 5am so I dont have time to shovel in the morning if we get snow overnight. However, when I get home from work around 2pm I put my boots on and go outside to take care of it if it needs to be done. I don't have a snowblower, unlike a lot of my neighbors, so I shovel enough to make it safe for people to walk but I don't go crazy and get every last bit of snow off the concrete. We honestly don't have a ton of people walking around our neighborhood, especially not in the winter when the high is like 2°. I usually do the sidewalk wide enough for two people to walk side by side or a wheelchair/stroller to get through, and I do enough on the walkway to my house for the mailman to get through. I also sprinkle salt down when needed.
This afternoon while I was shoveling my next door neighbor came outside and told me I am not doing a good enough job and I need to make sure it's done in the morning. He said I should be doing my driveway too. I dont do my driveway because no one should be in my driveway but me and I have an SUV so I dont worry about getting stuck. And if I do get stuck I figure that's my own fault for not shoveling it. I told him that about my driveway and he said that wasnt an excuse, it should be done so it looks nice. I also told him that since I work so early, and today it was still snowing when I left, that this is why I am out here this afternoon. He said I should be out before I go to work so my mailman doesnt have to shuffle through the snow when I'm at work. I told him, politely, that if he was that concerned about our mailman I would gladly pay gas money for his snowblower to take care of it while I was at work. He scoffed at me and said he wasnt going to do my job for me and went inside.
So my questions are: am I breaching snow removal etiquette when it comes to snow removal by not doing it in the early morning? Am I an asshole for not shoveling *all* the snow off the sidewalk and walkway, and for not touching my driveway with the shovel? Thanks all. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OnzlczTpqp1n0FZtKG4gjDQ2vN1B2w3l | a8ew1u | {
"description": "doing a bit of damage to a \"memorial\" of someone",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for doing a bit of damage to a "memorial" of someone? | Using a throwaway for obv reasons
Okay, so earlier this year, there was this old homeless guy who was well known in the community. He hangs around, chats up people, occasionally others will give him food. Stuff like that. People even let their kids and pets play around with him. Some of them even buy him some food. I don't really understand, because he could just get a job, but whatever. Not my problem.
Anyways, this guy just up and dies, so everyone's pretty upset, despite not even knowing him that well. Hell, even some of my friends and teachers are upset, and they're the guys saying that you should be successful in life, so that's kind of annoying and hypocritical. Everyone's making a big deal out of it, and some kids decide to make a "memorial" consisting of a picture, rocks, and flowers in the courtyard of my high school.
I eat lunch in the courtyard, and I don't want to go and look at some dead guy's face everytime I eat. The cameras in the courtyard are only pointed towards the two doors, and not towards where the memorial is, so when lunch is over, and everyone's rushing out, I kick the picture and step on it. I made sure to wear my dad's boots when I did, because broken glass hurts like a bitch. Some students are really upset, and so is the gardening and recycling clubs, but in my honest opinion, leaving that picture out there is not environmentally healthy either. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 17
} | WRONG |
HJUrVAhaTpyGa8Q0L0uoTfkMqfevPHr0 | b43uu1 | null | AITA BF says i've hurt & disappointed him |
Back Story: I volunteer for a charity approximately 2-6 hours a week depending on how and when they need me. I've been there about 4 months but my boyfriend (BF) has been there for 10+ years, volunteers significantly more hours and has a leadership position. BF and I have been dating for about 5 years.
The charity is organising a 5 day conference with members from our particular branch of the charity taking on some extensive roles. BF is personally liaising with the head office with respect to our branch's role in the conference. He's been busy with work and hasn't been as on the ball with communication as he would usually be. I privately spoke to him about this and he said why don't you liaise with head office instead of me. I was uncomfortable with this because:
1. Apart from a cursory introduction, I don't actually know the people
2. I think it's odd and rude to suddenly switch a liaison, esp with no prior intro
3. I am unaware of a vast majority of the issues being discussed and would need to refer to him anyway
4. It's a part of his leadership role, and i'm not a secretary to be handing extra work off to
I offered to respond from his own email, which would allow me to look at past conversations and continue from where they stopped. But he refused and I said i wouldn't do it. He later said he was hurt and that he was disappointed i couldn't help him out when he was struggling, i apologised for hurting him but he's been ignoring me all day. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TOk5LwZnzFWjUkUokgh3ygo4cUEkYDt5 | b9qgq9 | {
"description": "telling my ex-girlfriend she shouldn't be drinking while pregnant with our child even though we both agreed to terminate",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 75
} | AITA for telling my EX-girlfriend she shouldn't be drinking while pregnant with our child even though we both agreed to terminate? | So, about 4 weeks ago my now ex girlfriend and I broke up. It wasn't messy but we both agreed we weren't right for each other.
The entire time we were dating she said she was on the pill.
Now about 2 weeks ago she told me she was pregnant. And that she must've forgotten the pill once or it was during a cross over period of when she got back on the pill. I'm not really sure how it works, but I went to the doctors with her and we were told she was roughly 8 weeks.
We both sat down, spoke about it and agreed that termination was the best option as neither of us were ready for a child and it would be raised in a broken house to start with.
Anyway this past week I've seen Snapchats of her drinking. I messaged her and said she shouldn't be drinking while pregnant.
She replied with "why? We're getting rid of it anyway".
I said it doesn't matter, it's still our child and whilst you're pregnant you still shouldn't be drinking.
This didn't sit well with her. She pulled the "well you're not my boyfriend" card.
Am I the asshole here? Does it really not matter? Or should I still be pissed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 68,
"OTHER": 49,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 54,
"WRONG": 75
} | WRONG |
m16aAJKRChnpVUJvgMah8Q9Sn0y6RQNK | b0cw4t | {
"description": "not wanting to give my wife surprises anymore",
"pronormative_score": 51,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not wanting to give my wife surprises anymore? | Throwaway, because my wife knows my reddit account.
​
Let me start off by saying I love my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. She also loves surprises. The problem is that she has the patience of a small child on a sugar high. She will go through any lengths necessary to find her gift. If there is a holiday or her birthday coming up she will start insistently asking me what her gift is, if I can give her any hints, etc: This is fine to me. I simply respond, "You'll see..." and that's that. The issue is that she will ceaselessly attempt to find her gift, and I am no match for her detective skills. I have tried every hiding spot in the house, but she finds them all. Even the garden shed is no match for her. So next I tried leaving her gifts under the seat in my car. It took her less than 2 days to find it. No joke, I once buried a gift out of frustration (but the dog dug it up, so not really her fault). Not even digital gifts are safe. I bought tickets, and she found the email receipt on my phone. She gets so giddy whenever she finds my new hiding spot. It's like she is on a scavenger hunt, but I am tired of playing this game. I am out of places to hide stuff. I wish I could just bring home a gift a week before her birthday and remain confident that she will not see it until her actual birthday.
​
Recently, we had an argument about it that got fairly heated. I told her that I am simply going to give her the gift and not try to hide it anymore. She countered that I was taking away the best part of the gift giving process simply because I was really bad at hiding stuff. She seemed really upset, but at the same time I am mentally exhausted from trying to outsmart my overly curious wife. So, AITA?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 29,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 51,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
CVERBTh9McGX9xKs8A4RALWAcvyFpoT2 | b6dmv7 | {
"description": "expecting a birthday present from my friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for expecting a birthday present from my friend? | So this is about a co-worker of mine. I believe she and I are pretty close as we sometimes spend time together outside of work and I genuinely enjoy her company to the point where I get thrilled to work a job that I hate when I see that I have a shift with her. I've always had a hard time engaging in conversations and just generally making friends so I really treasure our relationship. We also share a lot of interests and hobbies.
Anyways, on to the situation, about a year ago on a particularly easy-going day at work me and he got into a long conversation about ways to show how your affection and shit like that. She said that because she has a hard time expressing her emotions she loves showing affection through birthday presents. Now my family barely even celebrated me and my siblings birthdays as I grew up. So I told her how I didn't care that much about presents(this matters later).
Fast forward a few months and her birthday were coming up, originally I wasn't planning on doing anything special for her until I recalled our aforementioned conversation. I really wanted to show her that I appreciated our friendship so I decided to really put some time into a nice present. She and I both love the bands Radiohead and Neutral Milk Hotel so I decided to make her an LP cover mixing two of their album covers into one I also went and bought the two actual LP's so I could put them into the custom LP cover. I was pretty satisfied with it and was pretty nervous about giving it to her which was weird because of how comfortable I usually am around her. Anyways, the fateful day arrived and I gave it to her. She got really happy and decided to thank me every day for a month. She does stupid shit like this which is a trait of her that I adore.
A couple of months later and my birthday arrived, now normally I wouldn't care about this day but I couldn't help but long for the present I thought she'd give me. So when she texted me happy birthday I straight up asked her what she got me (which in hindsight was probably pretty narcissistic) and she said: "nothing because you said you didn't care about presents". I got pretty furious and we got into a bad argument.
After this whole situation, our dynamic has gotten strained with like this distant awkwardness and I fucking hate it but I feel like I was in the right to be mad at her? I talked with my brother about the whole thing and he said that I was an asshole for expecting something even though I said that I didn't care about presents and that just because I did something nice to her doesn't mean she has to do it back.
So am I the asshole?
​
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
5vCQXMWIwpYLkv5PBMtVG8vFZXr3A27X | aa7q5p | {
"description": "asking if a girl was pregnant or just fat",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for asking if a girl was pregnant or just fat? | The story.
My friends and I were at this party. Everyone had plenty to drink because of the keg. After a number of beers, I was standing off to the side looking into the crowd aimlessly until I saw a girl that I based on her figure, I assumed she was pregnant. The last thing I remember of the evening was pointing with my cup and asking myself, "is that girl pregnant?".
How it went down.
At this point, I must have blacked out because I do not remember anything. My friends give different avenues of the story but both avenues lead to the same ending.
Avenue 1 = I had walked up the girl and directly asked her if she was pregnant in front of her friends.
Avenue 2 = I approached everyone else at the party to inquire of her condition.
(Knowing myself and how I was back then, I am inclined to go with Door #2.)
The ending.
According to my friends, the girl found out about the question, broke down crying, and ran out of the house. Four of her friends who were talking with four boys, saw her and ran to help her, thus simultaneously cock-blocking four guys at once. One of my friends said he never saw anything like before or since. He STILL shares this story.
So, AITA for having good intentions regaeidjg determining if a woman was pregnant and drinking alcohol? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
tJr5k7UDXl83fT3XkGT8YK84znk9HUWF | ajqakf | {
"description": "not wanting to help my pregnant sister after she gives birth",
"pronormative_score": 99,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not wanting to help my pregnant sister after she gives birth? | So sorry for the long post!
**Me**: 26 years old, working full-time to put myself through school, in school almost full-time. I work 12-hour shifts, and on my days off I typically study for 5-9 hours. The only time I have an actual day off to myself comes once a year around my university’s holiday break. I take my studies very seriously and always have to do homework or study even when I take a vacation. I’ve always been independent and take pride in the fact that I don’t need to lean on my family members emotionally or financially, but I have as much trouble as the next person balancing work, school, family, my health, and finances, and I feel like I’m always under an abnormal amount of stress. I drive a super stylin’ 2003 minivan that I never drive for over an hour because I feel it’s unsafe (relevant later).
**My sister**: mid 30s, been married to husband for several years, expecting her first child. Kate (name changed) has always been an emotionally needy person (not a criticism, just the truth). She lived with my parents until her mid 20s, and when she eventually moved out, she chose an apartment 2 blocks from my parents house and still slept most nights at my parents house. About a year ago her and her husband relocated to a town about 45 mins-1 hour away from where the rest of my family lives for his job. I don’t mean to downplay her career at all, but she is a fine arts major; her job can be stressful, but not like the stress I experience at my job, where I see people die regularly. Now that she is having her baby, she’s leaving her job to stay at home for an indefinite amount of time. Her + her hubby will be able to live comfortably on just his income.
**Current situation**: Kate has asked me repeatedly when I can come to her house to hang out, make dinner, etc. Even before she was pregnant, if her husband would leave town for business, she will ask one of us to drive out and stay overnight with her. The last time he left town, she asked me to come stay with her for 5 straight days to “help her with the house.” I’ve told her each time that 1) I am very busy and my life is very stressful right now, and 2) I don’t think my car can physically make that drive and I’m not willing to test that theory. I asked her if she would like to come stay with me, but she refused and said “there isn’t a place for me there” (there is). She tends to take me not visiting her very personally, and has said things like “I wish you cared enough to visit” and “you could at least call” (she answers her phone about 20% of the time, and doesn’t text back). To be fair, I don’t visit her often. In the year that she’s lived there, I’ve visited her only twice. But I also haven’t visited my parents house in almost a year and I live 10 minutes from there.
Things came to a head this week when she was talking about her post-birth plans. Her husband will be with her for the 1st week, then my mom will be looking after her the 2nd week. Kate expects me and my other sister (who works full-time with 2 kids under age 3) to drive to her house and look after her during her 3rd week post-birth. When I told her that I wasn't sure if I could help, she got offended and her feelings were obviously hurt. Honestly, at this point I’ve graduated from being mildly irritated to totally furious. I think Kate is being completely unreasonable. I know that she is not a very independent person, but in my opinion she chose to move away from all of us and should have expected less familial interaction. She is 100% insensitive to the fact that my car cannot drive that far and has said that I could just borrow a car, as if that’s the easiest thing in the world. Not to mention the fact that she has a husband to look after her--like, she seriously can’t last 8 hours on her own until he gets home from work? I’ve also just started an especially stressful semester and literally burst into tears in a coffeeshop the other day because I feel so overwhelmed right now.
I get that I’m biased, but I genuinely need to know--AITA for not wanting to help my pregnant sister? How much help do new moms need? Should I be more attentive and sensitive to her needs? Thanks!
**TLDR**: Pregnant sister expects me to look after her after she gives birth, but I feel she is asking for too much considering my current situation. Is she asking for too much, or AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 93,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 99,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
zqgZgWQeKDBQC5Eru6KCN6M91Rzoz34e | a70d6u | {
"description": "telling my partner he can hang out with my friends when he gets his own",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for telling my partner he can hang out with my friends when he gets his own? | My partner and I have been together for about 5 years and over the last 3 he has slowly stopped talking to all his friends in favor of being alone. No falling outs, just not keeping in touch. I think it stems mostly from a complete lack of motivation to talk to people.
Anyway, I’ve always been something of a social butterfly, and I have a group of 4 friends I’ve been hanging out with for close to a decade. He’s recently started wanting to tag along with me and my fiends, which I loved at first! He wants to get out more! But I am missing having my time with my friends, his presence throws the vibe off a bit because he doesn’t know everyone as well as we know each other.
So I shared this with him and told him I don’t want him to stop coming to our hangouts, I just want it to be an “every now and then” thing. I told him he should try to reconnect with his old friends, and he kind of sighed “maybe yeah..”
But now he just doesn’t ask to come to our hangouts and doesn’t talk to anyone. I feel like I put him back to square one. I want him to make friends and be more social, I just want him to make his own friends and his own plans. I don’t want him to just latch onto mine. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
k8tBraasR6LtAo5nVQU5cD6Rgn0GTXm4 | b9v1jc | {
"description": "wanting my best friend to be my best man instead of my brother",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my best friend to be my best man instead of my brother? | My brother is only about a year older than me, and we are pretty close, but not nearly as close as I am with my best friend, Random Fake Name. I don't have to actually make this decision any time soon as I am not even dating anyone right now, but the subject came up in conversation in my friend group (different group of friends than the one Random Fake Name is in) and I casually mentioned that hypothetically I think I want my best man to be Random Fake Name and not my brother. I wasn't even really thinking about it when this poured out of my mouth because it's not a secret that I'm closer with Random Fake Name than I am with my brother, but he was pretty hurt by it and a bunch of my friends are saying that I'm immature for wanting to pick Random Fake Name over my brother. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FfdCPV3VnZzgu4uBooMrZWAKOh8labqP | aocha3 | null | AITA for nagging? | Hi, so I am in a bit of a tricky situation with my fwb/bf (I'm not sure yet, we're working stuff out).
So we live together and I am pregnant (with his kid). We get on absolutely great and we are pretty much best mates who fuck. Great! Except for a few things;
1. His hygiene. He barely ever washes and I have to basically nag him to take a shower. He cleans his privates, but that seems to be it. He *rarely* ever brushes his teeth, only changes his underwear/socks every few days and wears clothes with stains on. His hair is always dirty unless I remind him to wash it. He had a bit of a rough upbringing and his mum never taught him to take care of himself, so I get that, but he left home 8 years ago....I'm concerned not just about him, but also our baby. He'll make a great dad, but am I an A for worrying he won't make sure our child brushes his teeth regularly/changes his underwear? The weird thing is he is so meticulous about handwashing/cleaning his privates so it's not like he doesn't understand how germs work. I want him to have pride in himself.
2. His health. As mentioned above, he doesn't take care of himself. He is chronically underweight and isn't doing much to help himself gain. I know it can be tough, I've tried encouraging various diets and exercises but unless I literally drag him and cook for him, he doesn't do anything. He is also constantly late for renewing his depression medication - he suffers withdrawal symptoms when he is withdrawing and hasn't taken them for 1 month now, yet I'm the one who booked him an appointment at our drs for this Saturday to renew them. When I nagged him before he always said he would ring, but just never got round to it. Last time about 8 months ago he suffered bad withdrawal and I had to take him to hospital. He's also pretty damn grumpy when not on them. He also doesn't ever get enough sleep. He will stay up just to see me or stay up gaming (I finish work at 10pm) and I'm wide awake for a few hours after because pregnancy insomnia and my sleeping pattern which I'm ok with) and then has to get up at 5:15 - he only gets about 4 hours a night which obviously makes his health worse. Am I the A for nagging him?
3. This is also related to the sleep - because he doesn't get enough sleep he often gets to work *just* on time or late. He is on a 12 week probation and without unnecessary detail, if he loses this job, we are financially fucked and my landlord will kick him out. (Me and baby will go to my mum's - no room for him there).
4. I feel like I have to nag him to help me do stuff to get the babies room prepared. Although he pretty much does anything I ask when it comes to fetching me stuff or making me food, I have to beg when it comes to the nursery. Some of the stuff that needs doing I physically can't do - I'm not tall enough and I don't feel safe on ladders. But when I ask, he seems really reluctant and makes light hearted comments about not wanting to, which means I ask him less and less. The nursery not being done is really stressing me out and I really want it done.
I'm financially dependant on him right now at 6 months pregnant and I'm petrified I'll lose my house, my cats, most of my possessions *and* my independence if I have to leave this house. Am I the A for wanting more effort in terms of his job?
I feel like a nag. If he doesn't care about his hygiene/health why should I? And am I putting undue pressure on him about work? Should I just try to do the nursery on my own?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5GaL1zXaU3wpB8bMA9LqxCNBiVlg6Pmy | amyksi | {
"description": "being black and liking white ppl more",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being black and liking white ppl more? | I recently took the Implicit Association Test and its data suggest that I have a, “moderate automatic preference” for white people compared to black people. As the title states, I am a black guy. On that basis alone I feel like should be rooting for us more given that racism is a real thing in the US. I’m also taking an African American history class this semester which is ironically what inspired me to take the test in the first place. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
WrZ31dWG5kzdQXOvcl14tGOuzP7etnO5 | arysd8 | {
"description": "delivering flowers to a girl's house without her knowing",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for delivering flowers to a girl's house without her knowing? | So, I've recently moved back to my hometown after dropping out of college. I was pretty embarrassed so I didn't really tell anybody that I was moving back (it has been about a month now.)
So anyway, there are definitely a few people that I've been meaning to hang out with, but haven't been able to work up the courage in fear of being perceived as a loser/failure etc. There's this one girl I know mostly from the internet really but we went to high school together and I've talked to her at the local bars around here for example. We were never really that close just DM'd a few times. I knew she still lived around our hometown (and she is single) so I wanted to surprise her in a funny way letting her know that I was back and maybe we can hangout or whatever. This is where I may have crossed the line?
Her dad was the coach of the boys' lacrosse team when I was in high school so I was honestly probably closer to him than her, but regardless I was able to find their address from searching his name online. On Valentine's Day I went over to the house intending on just handing it directly to her but no one was home. I was already freaked out and anxious from the whole thing and I kept second guessing myself but I didn't want to give up. I also didn't want to leave the stuff in the rain so I tried the doors/windows just to leave it in a dry spot. The window was open so I just placed it down inside on top of an end table. I bought the most traditional fucking gift I possibly could have so I don't know how it could be perceived differently, I just got flowers and a small box of chocolates, and a small card that was supposed to be ironically funny (it was just like a get well soon card) that I wrote "I'm Back!" on the inside. I was planning on messaging her saying it was me at like 6, figured she would be back from work by then.
Fast forward a little bit that day, watching her instagram story she was NOT amused and definitely a little freaked out from what I could tell. I honestly just thought it would be funny but now I am afraid to tell her it was me, does that make me an asshole? I just want this whole thing to disappear. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
2k7Tz8VXIxq832CyjuRGPYwXAR2JoE70 | ayk54z | {
"description": "breaking up w/ my gf for her 'jokes'",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I broke up w/ my gf for her ‘jokes’ | So basically I was dating this girl for about 5 months and she would always.p make rude jokes that really hurt, i asked her to stop but she never did. And I really liked her so I kinda just dealt with it. I was getting really depressed from it and a bunch of other issues, and I gained the nerve to break up with her. She said I was a pussy and that I was breaking up w/ her cuz I’m ‘gay’ (which I’m not) and I just feel really hurt here, am I in the wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WO7j9DBMcxYf4ntrKlZ8oU89ZqsFjNLD | anmxim | {
"description": "confronting a guy who was using FaceTime in the locker room",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for confronting a guy who was using FaceTime in the locker room? | I really feel like I was justified in this, but I don't often confront people and often just stay quiet, so I have some uneasiness that I approached this situation wrong.
There's a guy I see sometimes at the gym who is always on his phone, whether he's working out or in the locker room. He usually has his headphones on and is loudly talking into the mic. Whatever, it's the gym. That genuinely doesn't bother me.
However, today I walked into the locker room after my workout and this guy is FaceTiming some girl walking around the locker room aimlessly and talking to her. I didn't think much of it initially, but I had to get up right next to him to use the scale like I always do because he was leaning on the wall right next to it. I definitely got his attention a bit, and I could've sworn (not sure) that he tilted the phone towards me to show the girl how close I was to him. That's when I started to think that regardless of whether he did this, it's absurd for him to be using FaceTime in the locker room. There's a dude but-ass naked showering 15 feet away from him.
I felt like I should say something, and it got much more tense than I expected it to:
"Come on dude, you're in the locker room. Don't use FaceTime in here."
He got really pissed and stared at me for a few seconds.
"You talk to me like this!" (he is foreign, he said this a few times over and over)
"This is a locker room, people are changing here, put your camera away."
He was kind of rambling but I remember: "Get your ugly ass out of here, no one wants to see that anyway"
"Don't care, put your camera away."
​
I just locked my locker and walked into the sauna as I told him the last time. I was pretty stern and honestly I was kind of a dick about it which felt appropriate at the time, but it just doesn't feel right for some reason. I could hear him leaving pretty soon after that. He was extremely angry and I felt like he was going to hit me.
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nvHdWpzoyrlUD4fXTainqDlCR9cUUIWv | akno63 | {
"description": "not wanting to be friends with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be friends with my ex? | Side note: this is long as hell because I needed to give as much as info as possible. Also, he's now 19 and I'm 17 (I know we're pretty young but yeah)
I and my ex met through a video game during the new year 2017. We started to chat a bit and he soon invited me to his discord chat. I made new friends there (I'm still friends with those friends though) and we were getting along well. A year and a half passed and during that time we were in touch actively. He was dating someone at the moment and I was a bit jealous to be honest, even though we had never met. I knew what he looked like and I knew where he lived, we snapped each other occasionally, and face timed each other a few times.
We started dating in May 2018. The first month was like I was wearing heart-shaped glasses, but in the back of my mind, I kind of knew it wasn't gonna work. I knew we had it coming at some point and I was correct. He started to seem distant and absent and didn't treat me with such tenderness as he used to. I didn't mind it that much as I thought he's probably busy with school work. And one day I woke up and saw a few new messages. They were from him. He said he's not feeling us anymore and asked if we can just be close friends. I was a bit shocked at first but accepted it quickly. To be honest, I really always knew we weren't gonna work. He told me that he will still be there for me since he knew I was going through a hard time. (I have been having mental health issues since early 2017, but at the time I was doing the worst I had been doing so far). At first, it was okay, I was doing well and I didn't put my mind into it but then he started to tell in discord about a girl he met in college. He told me she was the cutest ever and everything. I encouraged him to talk to her but at the same time, I felt so weird having him talk about a new girl literally like six days after he broke up with me.
Even if I knew we weren't going to work, I felt like some kind of a worn-out toy that had just been replaced. I knew he develops feelings fast but I was still starting to question our relationship even more. Was it all ever serious for him? It was for me since I rarely like someone who likes me back and he was one of them, and now it seemed like he didn't like me that much after all. I felt pretty betrayed, but I kept going for him since he didn't realize that I was doing badly and I didn't want to ruin his joy. I mean he got new friends in college, apparently, a new girlfriend (after 2 weeks breaking up with me) and I didn't want to ruin take the joy from him by whining.
However, the next thing I realized is that he didn't talk to me anymore. At all. I tried to talk to him because I felt like he didn't want to be my friend anymore and I felt like we were drifting apart. He never answered my messages so I gave up. Even if I didn't want to lose him, I was tired of trying to keep in touch with someone who didn't talk to me anymore. I was still in the chat but it was exhausting. You see, I was going through the hardest time with my mental health issues (That were the most severe atm) and I was trying to deal with the breakup. I tried to navigate my feelings on something else, I worked out and drew and it did help not gonna lie.
However, at some point, I couldn't take it anymore. Seeing him talking only and every day about her new girlfriend. Like honestly, all the time. We hadn't shared a word for weeks at this point, and I was about to lose my mind not knowing what to do. While trying to focus on y studies and having this all in my mind, I was having a hard time. Like probably hardest than I can remember. I made the decision to leave him for good. I uninstalled discord, unfollowed him anywhere I could, and made sure I didn't have to see him anymore. I only talk to the friends I made in discord. He didn't seem to care since I didn't hear from him for 5 months.
ALRIGHT now to the real deal. I received a message from him last night. He said he misses me and wants to be friends with me again. I said that even if I have forgiven him, I'm emotionally unable to be in touch with him anymore. I explained that even if he doesn't understand what he did wrong, I know that I don't hold any grudges and he doesn't have to be mad at himself but I cannot be friends with him anymore. It took me long not to think about him every day, 24/7 and now that I have gone through it, I really want to close that chapter of my life for good.
He called me selfish for not even trying to be friends with him? I tried to explain that after all that I just can't and he said I'm a selfish bitch.
AITA? I personally think no but oh well, you tell me | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vGcJ9fazrtutEvBU0kdp42Pvv5gUhmEM | axpnsr | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to a depressed, self-harming attention seeker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not wanting to talk to a depressed, self-harming attention seeker? | Never used Reddit before, so sorry if I fuck up. Read about this community and figure'd it'd be interesting.
So, at my school, I get on with the majority of people. I don't really care what they're like otherwise, as long as they're fine with me. But there's someone - we'll call them Alex - who's just so *annoying*.
I started talking to them when I got sat next to them in Maths, and they were fine at first. A little bit shy, but I didn't really think anything of it. Eventually, a few weeks passed, and we started talking a little more on Snapchat (nothing big, just kind of commenting on eachother's stories or whatever bullshit).
But then, one day, they come into class with visible and fresh cuts in a short sleeved T-shirt. It's moderate weather here. You would be fine in a long sleeved shirt or a jumper. I don't comment on it, because it's not my job, I don't want to be a therapist, I barely know this person and I kind of feel weird about overly emotional stuff like this. It also kind of annoys me, if I'm being honest. Seems like a desperate bid for attention. I act like I don't see the cuts and act normally with them. They keep looking at them, but again, I act like I have absolutely no idea! Can't see shit!
A week later, when things are somewhat normal again, they message me on Snapchat. It says "hey, can I talk to you about something?" or something to that effect. This person does have friends, by the way. There is no reason they should choose me as their confidant. I barely know this person.
So I just say "I guess?". They then proceed to tell me about how saaaad they are recently, making it seem so poetic and tragic. It's like some shitty essay. I get it probably sucks, but get a therapist! Talk to a teacher! I have to bite the urge to just call them a pathetic, attention seeking fuck. I just reply with something along the lines of "you probably have depression, go get some help or something. I can't do shit all.". They just respond with all the reasons they feel like they can't do that (too embarrassed, feel hopeless, I think there was more but I don't really remember). I then point out that they told me, who is basically a stranger to them, so why not someone else? They say that they feel they can "trust me", for some reason. I just tell them I cannot do anything. It's left alone. I was pretty blunt, honestly.
It's left alone. Then, a few days later, they message me AGAIN asking to talk to me about something?!?! Like I didn't make it clear enough?! I tell them I would rather not do that as I don't really know them and am busy. They just say it's fine and that they appreciate me listening to them before. I talk to other people in that lesson now. They're just...Too draining.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
ojqMdrJMtF1c01zSzyDYFd35I2aTjE3F | axilxq | {
"description": "telling a friend the girl he's talking to cheated on her last boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if i told a friend the girl he’s talking to cheated on her last boyfriend? | My friend, Josh, started talking to this girl, Anna, recently. I dislike Anna because of a lot of reasons — Anna used to be best friends with another one of my close friends, Sarah. Sarah cut off Anna eventually because she had a boyfriend and introduced Anna to him as friends, and they started hanging out behind her back and lying to her and ended up getting together after Sarah and her bf broke up. The year after, Anna did this SAME exact thing with another one of my friends, who like she to give people chances and for close to her somehow. Same story, she lied to her behind her back and talked to her bf. Anna also cheated on her last boyfriend with a guy who had been in a relationship for over a year, and although it’s both of their faults, Anna never told her bf when they broke up, but the other guy told his gf.
Josh isn’t aware of Anna’s history, and Josh and I aren’t too close. We’re more like acquanitices, however, I really like Josh as a person and he’s a pretty chill and nice guy. I can easily see Anna fucking him over, especially since Josh’s last relationship was toxic and he’s still somewhat vulnerable.
WIBTA if I told Josh about Anna’s past? I think he should just know how she’s lied to her best friends and ruined a few relationships, in addition to cheating on her boyfriend. He can do whatever he wants with the info, I’m not gonna try to convince him to break it off with her, but if I started talking to a guy, Id wanna know if he had a bad history and messed up a lot of people. I’m not sure if it’s my business still or not, but I just don’t want Josh to get hurt. Also, I’m 100% sure Josh doesn’t know because he’s not in my immediate circle of friends and people in outside groups dont really know about Anna. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sEqRaeeyaiy4iIlnwxcZt10JrWdjFwFP | b7gctv | {
"description": "telling her she's lucky she has a fiance, not a fiancee",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling her she's lucky she has a fiance, not a fiancee? | So I'm friends with this person online and she has homophobic relatives. I am gay and also have homophobic relatives, so for years I have had to lie to them about crushes/relationships/etc.
She is bisexual but has never been on a date/hooked up with a woman and she is engaged to a man. She is still bi. I don't think her history matters in her identity.
One day, she was complaining that her family was homophobic. I offered sympathy and supported her. She didn't thank me for my sympathy and just said she was sad that she could never come out to her family.
Me: I guess good thing you have a fiance? Not a fiancee?
I then shared a story of having to lie to my family about my first relationship because they would react negatively if I came out to them.
She responded that only having been with dudes didn't make her any less bi and ignored what I said about my family because she wanted to complain about how she worried that, if she ever had kids and if those kids ever ended up being anything but straight, her family wouldn't accept them.
I think she was hurt because she thought I was erasing her sexuality. I was hurt because she was ignoring the concrete problems I was experiencing when I had previously offered her sympathy.
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
PgoU18nlfTPadY5fo8y11UfrC3Vjuksi | b7fxic | {
"description": "wanting my money back",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting my money back | 2 months ago, my pals and I were deciding whether to set up a game server 24/7 because previously, we had been home hosting it and it was not up 24/7 (No one really had an issue with it being home hosted except one person, we can call him "Humphrey.") So my friend (we can call him "Chad") and I ("Dylan") decided we would rent a server and set it up if Humphrey paid for it. He stated he would and fast forward 2 months later he still owes Chad the money and we have yet to see it. He is now claiming he never made this agreement yet chatlogs say otherwise.
Here are the chat logs (backed up by screenshots, there was also another observer in the group chat who will corroborate.):
Chad:
“IF YOU PAY ME $15 PAYPAL”
“I WILL HOST IT”
“24/7”
Humphrey:
“Okay”
Dylan:
“Humphrey you owe me $15”
Humphrey:
“Just get a fucking server”
He is claiming he used "Okay" as an adverb and not an exclamation. According to everyone, we know they have all agreed with us in that its use was in the terms of an exclamation rather than an adverb. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
bYPvIwYvSvoU2lT3JFSRE43VQk93PahT | 9yltpk | {
"description": "taking a comment from my sister personally",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a comment from my sister personally? | Hi all. As well as this being an AITA, I also wonder if I was too sensitive or weak in this situation.
A day ago, my sister and I were talking while she put on her makeup, and she talked about how she felt her nose was too wide and hated it. I told her that it's a perfectly fine nose, and that I couldn't see the wideness she was talking about.
She nodded and replied "no offence, but if I had your nose, I'd get surgery. JK". I laughed with her, but internally I'm thinking "ouch".
Later on, I checked out my nose in the mirror and saw how ridiculously upturned it is, and I just get that sinking sensation in my stomach. Before I know it, I'm googling upturned noses and all the results are surgical fixes or even worse, pigs. My best friend spent the night trying to tell me my nose is fine.
I tried to bring it up with my mum that I'm not comfortable with these comments, and she replied I'm being too sensitive and that all siblings talk like that to each other.
From my point of view, I found it pretty hurtful because I was bullied heavily for my appearance, and it's a pretty sore spot for me. I have anxiety, so I end up getting intrusive thoughts about my appearance frequently, and pointing out my nose is very upturned has agitated that pretty badly.
From my sister's point of view, she pointed out she said "JK" after the comment, so I should have realised she was making a joke. She said I was laughing too, so she didn't think it was that big of a deal. My mum feels I'm too sensitive to these kind of comments and that I read into it too much.
What do you guys think? AITA for taking the comment to heart? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mzFxnAbHDKwIrwGSbjUAxjfCaNCc7Knb | b2uyla | null | AITA: My friend stood me up for a birthday drink. | I have this Aspie friend whom I have a big crush on. We hang out semi-regularly and attend the same fitness class. The day before his bday several months ago I gave him a book and we saw a movie and had a nice time. This week I said I'd really love to celebrate my birthday with him and would he like to grab a drink the night before my birthday- since we were both busy the next day. He said sure. The night rolls around and I message him and he's just not into it. No apology or rain cheque, just vague disinterest. Next day he said Sorry and that he was tired. I'm trying to be understanding because he's on the spectrum, but I've done a lot for him and he's so wishy washy to me it hurts. Sometimes he's warm and fun to me, but other times I feel so unimportant and unappreciated. I want to be understanding, but we are always having lil tiffs like this. He now seems ticked that I was hurt. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
tM0yIjMQ6tjuv4VwEir0u8CmAod2DLlt | a7s3aq | {
"description": "being scared by comments people in my class make about my skin",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being scared by comments people in my class make about my skin? | I (male) have just started at a new school and I am the only white person in my class. Ordinarily this wouldn't be a problem but my classmates keep making comments about my skin color.
I sat down where I was told to and when the teacher went out for something. The girl next to me told me I had 'pretty pale skin' and then she said she wished she had skin like me and she wants to take my skin.
I said 'thanks I think' and then she laughed and told the girl next to her who went "aww, sweet". It was weird but I forgot about it until at the end of class she mentioned it again. My thoughts started swirling around Hannibal Lecter.
The thing is that isn't just one misguided and weird person. A lot of the class were speaking about my skin. And another girl told me I had 'nice hair' and then grabbed my hair (not too roughly but it was a surprise).
I don't want to ask the teacher if I can move but I find these people's comments weird I mean they must interact with white people generally, this is America not segregated South Africa. I don't want to use the analogy of visiting a cut off tribe, (as I don't think these people are a different civilisation to me) yet it feels like it.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QnG4fUX5D1dvEJYaX5qjDTufKFjidXI7 | ax150s | null | AITA: my dad thinks me having to use the bathroom at a bad time is me coming up with an excuse to not do work. | I’ve been rather sick to my stomach today, and stuck in the bathroom a lot. My dad seems to think I’m just making excuses to not have to do work. AITA for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XHcJ55LGpz5RKj1x6f9DjcIhpDBGIGsz | at24di | {
"description": "asking for my House key back from a friend who won't talk to us anymore",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking for my (24F) House key back from a friend (24 M) who won’t talk to us anymore? | Some friends of ours (24M and 25F) went through a nasty breakup. We went through rounds of the male friend ignoring us, telling us he love us and wants us in his life, then ignoring us again. I’m getting frustrated, and he actually saw us at a bar and ignored us and left. My boyfriend (25M) texted him and was once again told that we’re loved but we need to talk. Days have gone by and he’s ignoring both of us. I finally texted him that he should take his games back and we need our key back until we sort things out. My mom says it’s cold but others say it’s fine. I need an outside opinion | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xs3tsyMcXeI1ozxjwx9JHCox9DTZiYG5 | aq0sev | {
"description": "calling my good friend a fucking idiot",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling my good friend a fucking idiot? | My close friend (25F) is in a relationship with a guy (27m) and have been on and off in the past year. The guy is head over heels in love with her, and she could honestly care less. She says she loves him, but does not see a forever with him. She is hung up on one of our other mutual friends and we will call him Max. Well my friends has had feelings for max for 3 years, and she has expressed them to her. He says he’s scared to do anything about his feelings towards her and doesn’t want to mess up the friend group. So he had been in a relationship the last year and completely disappeared. My friend was hurt but moved on to her current boyfriend. Well max has reappeared because his relationship failed. Now my friend is in her relationship but thinks of max all the time. I’ve told her she either needs to end it with her current, or forget about max and move on. She talks about Max NON STOP. Even in front of her boyfriend!!! Mad and my friend were fuck buddies like 6 times and her current boyfriend knows about it, so you can see he gets irritated when she talks so highly of him. Well my friend cheated on her boyfriend with Max two weeks ago. She told me when we were all drunk at a bar and her boyfriend was outside with the rest of the group. So I sat awkwardly with the group all night trying not to say anything to him about it because she promised to tell him the next day. She did tell him, and she told him that she doesn’t not see a real future with him but likes what they have now. He is okay with it because he thinks he can change her mind. She says she feels awful and regrets it so much. But I get a text today saying “hey I’m meeting max for some drinks tonight. Anyone wanna join?” So I responded in the group chat saying “are you a fucking idiot?” And everyone was like “ oh my god why are you being so rude?” Eventfully we moved to a private chat where I asked why she would even contact max again, at least this soon, after she just told her boyfriend she won’t hang with Max again.
AITA for calling her out? Her boyfriend is my friend too and I know he doesn’t know she’s meeting with him. I’m friends with all 3 people and it’s so hard for me not to lose my shit on them all.
TLDR; my friend cheated on her boyfriend and he forgave her, then a week later starts hanging out with the guy she cheated on her boyfriend with. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mXlOlZGyHAj9X9AQ6E0EwrcvCw9FDyDI | asawpv | {
"description": "objecting to \"Female Employee only\" parking spaces at my workplace",
"pronormative_score": 421,
"contranormative_score": 103
} | AITA for Objecting to "Female Employee Only" Parking Spaces at My Workplace? | So theres not too much to say, I guess I'm more curious in others opinions on this. I am an approx 22.5 year old man, I recently snagged a really really good job. I work as a corporate level administrator in the trucking industry. It's been a pretty sweet gig so far and have no complaints as of yet (2 months in). I would also like to preface the following with saying that I work with a very diverse staff of coworkers who are all as professional as they can be, rarely is it that someone cant pull their own weight.
About a week ago I was walking through the parking lot to my car after the end of the day, and I was looking at the sunset through the chain link fence. As my eyes darted around i happened to notice a pink metal plate bolted onto the fence, I thought to myself "woah, what's that and how did i not notice it before?" So i started reading it and I was immediately greeted with slight disappointment. Basically, it read as follows "FEMALE EMPLOYEE PARKING SPACE ONLY!" with a large symbol in the middle of the sign which is also seen on women's public bathrooms.
Now, let me clarify I am not "Irate" or "fuming" about it, but I dont really buy into the whole chivalry, white knighting culture that the men of previous generations upheld *fedora intensifies*. I even asked my fiance when I got home, just to get a female insight on it. She said she thought it was stupid. I guess I'm just coming from the territory of you can show that your a diverse company dedicated to equality, without making tedious or unimportant decisions like special parking. Just my two cents on it though. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 102,
"OTHER": 263,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 158,
"INFO": 35
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 421,
"WRONG": 103
} | RIGHT |
tr3ecmRes2aI8P9F3a24Oru0oCOI312E | b1h7yp | {
"description": "doing what my girl says",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For doing what my girl says | Keeping it short as I can.
Me and my girl are into memes. Obviously that's a big yes in my book. Anyways my girlfriend sent me a song, she said it reminds her of me, the music was called "Big-Juice wrld because I am a bit big on the weight and she expressed the word BIG on text.My girl thought which music I thought reminded of her and to send it to her. So I sent her the music "Big and Chunky-Will.I.Am" the one from Madagascar, the one with MOTO MOTO, she said that wasn't funny. AITA that I have the same standards like MOTO MOTO? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6ToStoOf4ZNdD6F4FJKWSuuZ5JwLv2ge | 9tdwxn | {
"description": "not overpaying, or paying back my father for a vehicle",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not overpaying, or paying back my father for a vehicle? | My dad gave me his car to drive for awhile. I want to purchase that car from him at a retail price. He needs 6000 for a loan, but retail value for the car is 4500. At most, it was around 6000 for a really low mileage excellent car. It's not excellent, but it has 60k miles for a 2006 which is pretty low.
He wants 6,000 and I agree, but only in words until I got a real estimate. The loan writer said I was getting a bad deal, and he wouldn't write it for 6,000 since it retailed at 4,500. I offer 5,000 to my dad instead - he basically goes ballistic. He begins to bring up cars I had driven in college from him, and how I owed him for that still, and that I owed him value of the car that I had driven over the past year.
​
That might be fair, but there was no expectation of this when I started driving it. I was between jobs, and needed something. Now I've fallen in love with the car. I can't really afford much as it is, and spending 1500 over retail scared me. I've actually put a few oil changes in, had it serviced, and detailed thoroughly. Not a lot of money, but 600 at least over the last year.
In the end he's agreed to 5000, but has continued to guilt me about the cars in the past, and the value lost from me driving it (>5000 miles).
​
AITA for not paying 6000? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zQztUJc87N6XCBihFA8dK52n17L0Qi07 | ar10rd | null | AITA If my wife’s traveling bothers me. | Context: I am a Mexican National, met my wife in the states while at university in Pennsylvania. When my student visa was up and I did not have a job lined up, I moved back to Mexico. She always said that if that happened she would move to Mexico with me while I waited for another visa. I begged her to stay and ensured he that Mexico was not where we wanted to raise our family but she insisted. She decided to move here with me 5 years ago and finished her degree online. During that time we were married and have had two kids here. We have put down some serious roots in Mexico. We both have good jobs and money hasn’t really been an issue for us since we are paid in dollars but spend in pesos. We make occasional trips to the US to visit family but have not been able to move back. We are both pretty set on moving back and my wife says she’s homesick from time to time. I have not been approved for Residency in the states but can still travel back and forth with a travel visa. Wife finished degree two years ago and works for an American company in Mexico City. I also work for the same company while maintaining a second full time job.
The issue: My wife recently began to travel to the states more frequently because of her job. She leaves for 7-10 days a month. While she’s gone I have to deliver two kids to school, meet my work requirements, maintain our budget, clean house, etc etc. First couple of months I was excited for her and would do whatever I could to make sure everything was taken care of and she came home to a clean house. It started to bother me when she started visiting Las Vegas and Los Angeles on a monthly basis. I would call at night to talk and she would be out drinking, next morning she would call hungover or would avoid calling so I didn’t notice she was out all night. Now I trust my wife, infidelity isn’t really the issue. My problem is that while she’s away for business, I’ve noticed she’s spending more and more time going out. Her family has a long and dark history of alcoholism and it worries me that while she’s gone drinking is a daily thing. She’s reassured me that it’s not or that she didn’t call in the morning because she was too busy to talk. Now I’m sitting here taking care of everything while she’s out on these regular party trips. The people she travels with are just as bad and do not provide me with any sort of comfort that they are under control.
Now since she came here for me and left the states willingly. It’s hard for me to say anything to her without her bringing up the move to Mexico and holding it over my head. We were both very young when we married and had kids and she never got to experience night life as she would want to.
Now I’m definitely jealous that she gets to take all of these trips and leave her responsibilities behind. But I don’t know if that’s the issue, it bothers me more that she seems to enjoy leaving the responsibly of a family behind. She avoids calling the kids because it upsets her so we really only talk at night. She says she staying in but the he next morning you can tell she’s hungover or one of her coworkers spilled the beans on social media.
My question: AITH if I ask her to slow down on the traveling? It’s not really a requirement for her but she goes to ensure that her team is presenting our product properly. I love that she’s so driven and successful but it’s really starting to wear me down. I catch myself taking my frustration out on the kids when that should never happen.
I apologize for any grammar or formatting mistakes on mobile. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FwJD07PBLJFd00Jjy3JkrLptTlhsTxGG | axc1kf | null | WIBTA if everytime I get a netflix new sign in email I ask one of my friends if it was him? | I gave one of my friends my netflix account password. The thing is he’s not the only one using it besides me, but I have a hard time believing my dad(he’s the other person who uses it) is constantly signing in on new devices.
I just have this strange gut feeling that my friend has given out my password to someone else because of the many new sign in mails I’ve been getting. But I just feel like an asshole for only assuming it’s him and constantly asking if it was him who signed in.
This whole dilemma makes me feel like a control freak and a little guilty. So WIBTA if everytime I get an email I ask instagram it’s him? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
0tBas6CRccLPajemJhWXpdO5986fbPMS | av9g4q | null | AITA: GF (19F) wants me (19M) to stop talking to female friend and I'm refusing. | I am currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of two years, let’s call her Katie, as we are currently at different universities about five hours apart. I am transferring to another school in home state, closer to Katie (not the reason for transferring).
Now, I have friends with a girl in my high school’s current senior class (I am a college freshman) since sophomore year, let’s call her Alissa. I started dating my current girlfriend in January of my junior year, and she and Alissa were. Katie knows I am friends with Alissa and she knows that her and I talk on a semi-regular basis, maybe a casual conversation once every two weeks or so? About two weeks ago Katie put up a post about me on her Instagram and Alissa commented on it. Katie got very upset and she is now making the assumption that Alissa likes me. This turns into a huge rant with her saying “I’m a girl and we just know when other girls like our boyfriends”, “I hate her, she’s a stupid bitch.” etc. This turns into a fight because I made the mistake of trying to assure her that there are no romantic feelings between Alissa and I, and I end up apologizing.
What was I apologizing for? I have no idea.
So, fast forward to Thursday night, Katie posted another thing related to me at about 12:30, and Alissa was the only one to “like” it in the first 20 minutes of posting it. All hell breaks loose. She deleted the post, because apparently it made her feel better to do so, and then proceeded to block Alissa on both of her Instagram accounts (Alissa has liked every one of her posts since the beginning of time). I told her that she really didn’t need to do all of that, to which she responds, “Not sure why you’re defending her but okay”. Then I made another tactical error by telling her I really don’t think Alissa has a thing for me and that it’s ridiculous that this is turning into an argument between the two of us.
I told her that even if Alissa were to like me, that is something that is out of my control, and unless Alissa acts on her feelings then this shouldn’t be an issue. This set her off on a tangent about how Alissa and I will be at the same school next year, and we’ll probably be hanging out some (which is true because she and I have a lot of mutual friends down there, and my roommate and her are good as well) and how she would never hang out with someone that I thought liked her.
At this moment, alarm bells are ringing in my head as I start thinking “holy shit, she doesn’t trust me.” I address that concern and she tells me how I’m making her feelings invalid. The argument continues into the next day and she says “you could just not talk to her anymore.”
I have since refused and it's been a shit show ever since.
Now, personally I don’t really think I’ve done anything that warrants a fight or her getting angry at me, but I'm interested in your guys' thoughts.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iR6Xvc9df40led6BZ8jxUYSBHYp94WMk | ahhxzc | {
"description": "expecting people to eat each piece of bread as it appears in the loaf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for expecting people to eat each piece of bread as it appears in the loaf? | I don't mind sharing the groceries with my roommates. We're all pretty good about making it equal. But there is one slight problem. A loaf of bread comes with 22 slices. 1 end slice, 20 regular slices, and another end slice. I came home from doing laundry and was preparing to make a sandwich but there are only twenty slices in this package now, but two end slices! AITA for never sharing bread with my roommates ever again, since they think they can just grab slices from anywhere in the package they want? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
SNyaEOFiZzyt6EsknHborZCB94ct5MPl | b7ueel | {
"description": "blowing my horn at cars in the intersection",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for blowing my horn at cars in the intersection? | This happened in a 4 way intersection.
Im at a red light at an intersection. There was a minor accident and traffic was backed up. Traffic was getting heavy and there was no more room or else cars would get caught in the middle of the intersection. Three cars decided to try and make it through. The light changed and 3 cars were blocking us in the intersection.
There was no way they could move in time so I laid on my horn. The people blocking us flipped me off, so I blew my horn even longer. Since these idiots blocked the intersection we missed our light cycle. I was furious so I kept blowing on my horn. Finally after missing 2 light cycles we made it through. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
XkETZNYNyeNzIer1nYDpcf2nZbBEOmif | b02lx8 | {
"description": "saying someone was a bitch for acting like a bitch",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying someone was a bitch for acting like a bitch..? (Trying this again with more context) | So the people involved in this story are:
Red
Jen
Hannah
(Not their real names)
I walk into school, and sit with red (as I do every morning) red tells me that over the weekend something went down at their youth group, telling me that she usually tells Jen about stuff that happens with her and Hannah. At that youth group, a guy that Hannah sat with had a drink, and Hannah took a sip of it.
Apparently, this guy was somebody who Jen and Hannah both liked. Hannah goes up to her and goes “don’t do that” (supposedly as a joke) but Hannah took it the wrong way because she thinks Jen hates her all the time (I don’t know if she does or not...)
Hannah starts to cry and walks into the bathroom to cool down, Red walks in and the following conversation ensues:
Red: “you good?”
Hannah: “don’t talk to me”
Red: “alright, be like that” *slams door*
(note, I only learned about the last sentence of the conversation after Hannah told me, Red tried to lie about it to make her sound better)
Red starts to talk shit about Hannah behind her back, and I go to my first period (with Hannah)
I talk to Hannah about it, and she tells me about the real conversation she had. She also said she was sad because she can’t tell Red anything without her telling it to Jen.
I talk to Red about it at lunch, and she not only admits to lying, but keeps to her story that Hannah’s annoying because she abruptly stops talking to her to talk to this other girl (that Hannah wants to go out with)
I try to tell her that Hannah’s just nervous because she likes her and she wants to spend time with her.
She said, and I quote: “she can fuck off if she wants to, I don’t care, she’s a bitch anyways”
I put my hand down, got off the stool I was on (we were on a high table with stools) and said she was the one acting like a bitch. Then walked away.
Note: Im really close with Hannah, and I hated to see her talk down to her, I may have overreacted a little bit but I don’t think I was in the wrong.
Sorry about the first post, I wrote it pretty fast, this one has a lot more context. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jTPJuuPia6vQPlTWXr8Jbdz3Quv2eSFP | ahcvep | {
"description": "hoping my sister's dog dies in her sleep",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for hoping my sister's dog dies in her sleep. | TLDR
Dog is 14 slightly deaf, has cataracts and occasional joint pain. I have been forced to be her primary caregiver now that I live with my mom again.
10 years ago my mom got a four year old black lab mix for my sister who was 16.
Two years later my sister moved out and mom kept her dog.
Mom worked and lived alone. Unfortunately Dog was not sufficiently socialized or housebroken.
Mom kept her in a crate from 11pm to 5am when she would put her out back for an hour before work. Then back in the crate from 6am to 5:30pm when she would get home, feed her and put her out again until dark, between 7pm and 9pm depending on the season.
She barked at everything but never bit and she would jump on everyone and try and lay on you. Her nails were never trimmed consistently so the jumping was problematic.
My sister moved back home a couple of times over the years and so the dog got out of her crate and outside more often but never trained or socialized. She's had accidents at least once a months for years. My mom and sister also struggled to keep her free of fleas so her skin wasn't very healthy.
I moved back home recently and my sister doesn't live here right now.
I noticed she had issues getting up in the mornings, her hind legs would tremble and she would limp, whine or even yelp after putting weight them.
I took the crate away and put it in storage. She sleeps on a comforter with a potty pad over it.
She's on medication for her joint pain now and it’s helped immensely, as has keeping her out of the crate and getting her more exercise.
Her skin is healed completely and she no longer has fleas or ear mites.
She cannot hear very well and she has cataracts. She is having more and more accidents and has to wear diapers when not outside.
I haven't trimmed her nails yet because I've never trimmed any animals nails before and I'm scared I'll hurt her.
I love her but it feels so selfish to let her linger without dignity and in pain
Mom won't take her to the vet because she thinks they will put her down and then my sister will blame my mom.
Some mornings I wish she had died in her sleep and I hate myself for thinking it.
Thanks for reading.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mPyce7seZXccQ6KLRMhaLav60d0DdbZh | an1tnl | {
"description": "not wanting to send a thank you text to my grandparents for my birthday present",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA for not wanting to send a thank you text to my Grandparents for my birthday present? | Alright this is my first post on reddit, but I would really like to know if I am in the wrong in this situation.
​
This situation happened two years ago on my birthday. I was opening presents from family and most were things I enjoy or asked for. Then there were things that I got that I didn't like so much. Those were from my grandparents. I have four sets of grandparents, and I have had a lot of arguments with all of them because they are generally stuck in the mud types of people. For example, the grandparents that live close to me and where actually at the party (because they lived close enough) gave me a cook book for kids and a book called something like H*ow to be a Good Teenage Girl*. To me these presents were a bit insulting, but I wasn't going to make a scene or anything so I just say thank you and move on. They have always been fine with this. My other grandparents however, don't live close and are even more out of touch with me. They will also often waste their money on presents that don't suite me at all.
​
So these grandparents gave me some travel bag with a gaudy design on it and a card they bought that explains the bag is $60. I say thank you out loud but they obviously wouldn't hear since they are at their home that is hours away from me. About a week passes and my mom comes to me saying I should text my grandparents thanking them for the present they gave me. I look at her puzzled because that is something my family has never done for anyone, and the present they gave me seemed to have zero thought into it. My mom tells me that they have been nagging her on her phone saying that I should be more grateful and have more manners and should text them thank you. She normally will do this her self but this time they were ordering that I give the thank you because I was a teenager and could do things on my own and it would be more sincere and meaningful coming from the source. I didn't want to but I did. I simply texted my grandma saying "thank you for the bag I love it." and then I go on with my day. That was apparently wrong.
​
My mom woke up to an extremely long text saying that I was being so incredibly rude. They said things like my thank you didn't seem sincere, that I should have done the thank you sooner, and I should have sent the thank you to both of them. This annoyed me even more, but this time I just ignored it and so did my mom. This entire dilemma happened on Christmas too with both me and my sister apparently being mean granddaughters because we didn't want to send them a thank you text especially because we knew they would just continue to complain about how our thank you wasn't sincere.
​
Am I actually just rude for not wanting to give my grandparents a thank you text? Or am I in the right in this situation because they shouldn't be asking for a thank you. Or are we both in the wrong? I would like to see this from your guys perspective. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 21
} | WRONG |
t5BBZt0cmq5we6ClxwPEs4N6BsVeaSQ4 | b1vmta | {
"description": "deciding I might have a problem with that",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for deciding I might have a problem with that... | So my best friend has got 2 kids, both of whom call me Auntie Anonyikos, and my ex-fiance was Uncle Asshat. He decided last month (6 months til we were meant to be getting married, everything booked and ready to go) that he didn't love me anymore and left me. He's in the army, he then went away with work for 6 weeks. Came back this week and got in touch with my bestie to see if he could go see the kids.
So I had originally said I was fine with him seeing the kids etc. Because I'm a grown ass woman and they are kids and punishing them cause he's the captain of asshattery is a childish thing to do... This weekend the time has actually come. He's taken her, her partner (with whom I'm also very close) and their smallest bambino out for tea. To a place I sometimes take them.
Like I was kind of okay with him going to see the kids at their house. But this place has a huge play area so the small feral thing won't be where he is. Like the kid will be off playing in the play area so basically he's just out for dinner with my two closest friends. And suddenly with the force of a tsunami I am NOT okay with him doing that. Like want to cry/scream, jaw clenching hands shaking not okay.
And I really want to be okay with it. Because I'm a grown up, and I feel like I should be okay with it. But Idk it's like I'm worried they'll prefer hanging around with him than me.
So am I the asshole for changing my mind? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
u5lcoiD69pbeFdfAxm3ZhXpsNTrIwEin | axpijz | {
"description": "not going with my gf to her dad's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for not going with my gf to her dad’s funeral? | I know it sounds bad, but gf is not close to her dad at all. Like we both know him and have joked about him all the time.
He had a stroke. She didn’t even know if she was going to go down. A three hour drive away. I need 48 hours ahead time to get time off work.
I didn’t request it because it sounded like she wasn’t even going to go.
She went. Now she’s being short with me over texts. She said it’d be nice if I was here for her. And then told me I always put work over her.
I don’t get it at all. She never cared about her dad. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
rdmsY6J8o3nz5SkRzoudB89UUUmBN5wf | axa6el | {
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because hes christian",
"pronormative_score": 128,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because hes Christian | My ex and I met a year ago, and he was my dream guy. We had the same interests and values, and we were super open with each other and always made sure to communicate, which is something I care about a lot in a relationship. All throughout the relationship, he told me he was agnostic, which I am too.
Last week, out of the blue, he tells me he's a Christian. He said a month ago he spoke to God, which made him believe in the Bible and want to live a sinless life (no cursing, no drinking, no premarital sex, etc.). This also meant he had to one day marry a Christian woman. He wanted to be with me still, but he was also hoping that I'd follow his example and turn to God as well.
That's where the problem liee: I've never been a believer, I've tried multiple times but didn't think it was for me, and I don't think I should fundamentally change who I am as a person just to be with him. On top of that, I was very upset that he didn't mention the fact that he was considering making this transition, since this affects our relationship significantly. So even though I still love him very much, I decided to break up.
A week later, and now I'm regretting it. Was I being too harsh and inconsiderate? Did I disrespect his religion? I thought the break up was because he wasn't being honest with me and now I'm not so sure anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 68,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 60,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 128,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
I4tnG4idrFrg58VrLZemeGoG7lRjWD2v | b36onn | null | AITA My co-worker got my office moved over a bitter argument? | I apologize in advance for my grammar, and also i already feel like a major asshole after this incident so judge me lightly please
For some context, we work in a small office building with 10 or so other co-workers and a supervisor that sit on the side and look at memes all day, there is a long table divide between us with charging ports and and book shelves and all and all the personal stuff that we have, all of us work together on the table, though there was no clear lines everyone acknowledge what belong to who, and therefor there is a lot of talking between us, that included me and my co-worker who we will call J
J was an interesting guy, he is technically a rank above me but we do the exact same thing since and there was some small dispute between me and him over who is more qualified, since we are both egoist and think we are doing better than the other person, but it never went far, but this time it was different
I'm not sure how it started, but it probably started with the "You know nothing about his job", and "The supervisor is gonna fire you", kind of talk, we are all use to it, but some how it lead to personal insults which i was not too proud to say, he's response was always "The supervisor is gonna hear about this" since he knows that being a rank higher the supervisor was gonna favor him, but he is also scared of the authority, so i knew he wasn't gonna go for it, so i just kept saying a bunch of jerk language with the line of "who you gonna tell?", i can see he was pissed off and embarrassed since i was clearly high-school style bullying him (which i was not too proud of), and finally stop to finish my project, and he was able to get the upper wind for a bit until he got tired too, and i didn't think much of it after that
Until my supervisor came talked to me very calmly about how I was gonna be moved to another office space and how i can't ever work on the long table again, i was pissed but i guess is what i deserved
I should also note that he always commended on my weight, which i was not too proud of, and i guess that anger flushed over me when i was in the moment, but i have always commend on his height in response to i guess it's not justified
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
aN64OK4O1L7ZRL6vZOmlCsasO0dTlD4N | aabveh | {
"description": "wanting 5 days kid free, and to take a solo trip using credit card points",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 41
} | AITA for wanting 5 days kid free, and to take a solo trip using credit card points. | TLDR at bottom.
Feeling gaslit, hoping I’m not the asshole but I sure feel like one now.
The father of my kids and I separated 6 months ago. Legal process has not been started yet, but we have been acting separated with joint custody. Kids are 2 and 4 years old. I keep them for 10 days at a time and then he has the kids for that amount of time - this works around his work schedule. We still live together but when my ex is home I spend most days at friends or families homes.
So on my exes days with the kids now, I am going away to a yoga and meditation retreat for 5 days. He asked if I’ll be Face Timing every day for the kids. I said no. 1, we will be in a rural area with little to no cell service, 2, I’ve reached the data cap on my phone, and 3, I just spent 10 stressful days with them carting them around visiting family for the holidays and I could really use a break.
He called me an asshole. Then he got his parents involved and they can’t believe how cold hearted I am being and how I have the audacity to go on this retreat in the first place because “what do I need to meditate on?, what’s more important than spending time during New Years with my kids and ex?”
Ex is demanding I take photos to prove where I’m going, and I refused. His parents got it in his head I’m lying and am probably going to spend a week with a new lover (I don’t have a lover.)
2nd point. We have had a joint credit card for the duration of our relationship. I feel I’m entitled to half of the points on it, and discovered I can use the points to book a very very cheap round trip flight to Europe. I’d have accommodations and food provided the whole time through my girl friends family/friends she has in Europe. I have been wanting to do a girls trip for many years, but have never had the funds and then young kids took my time priority. I’m planning this trip during a time my ex has the kids, and with my own earned money plus credit card points.
My ex, and his overly involved family, are calling me the asshole. Saying I have my priorities screwed up. Saying how the points aren’t mine, never were. They should be only used to take the kids on a Disneyland trip, which has never been discussed prior. Exes dad says he’s glad my ex is rid of me because I am just a spendthrift with no concern for paying off our debts (mortgage, vehicle, and credit card) and that I need to grow up and get my head out of my ass and realize I can travel when I’m retired and there’s no need to travel in my 20’s - it’s ridiculous and childish and shows I’m an unloving mother. My exes mom says she can’t believe I would do this, and she’s very taken aback and surprised I would even think about a trip when my kids are this age.
My ex has been blowing up my phone all day with claims of me being a cold hearted bitch who’s just trying to ruin him, and how any cent of money I earn needs to be divided with him and go towards making debt payments. My ex earns about 100k a year, while I have only started making an income after being a stay home mom for 4 years. I sell art online and do commission sewing work. I now make about $4-500 a month which we previously agreed was my spending money for myself, and that this amount would be taken off of alimony payments.
With having 3 people calling me an asshole over wanting to travel and take a retreat, my head is spinning and I’m feeling gaslighted. Am I the asshole?
TLDR: I want to take a yoga retreat for New Years, and later in 2019 take a girls trip to Europe that would be extremely affordable with credit card points, and knowing people in Europe who will provide food and lodging. My ex and his family think I’m the asshole for having messed up priorities and claim I’m abandoning my kids (2 and 4 years old) even though my trips fall during time my ex is with the kids. They don’t understand why I don’t want to FaceTime my kids every day during my retreat, and say I should be putting every cent I earn into paying off debt instead of gallivanting across the world pretending to be a single unattached lady. My ex says the credit card points aren’t mine to use because I’ve been unemployed for 4 years so all money spent earning points was his money. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 34,
"OTHER": 31,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 41
} | WRONG |
CNubiy7YKrqAP5arZbtvGPfmqFUg7wPf | amv2yl | {
"description": "being so mad at this",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for being so mad at this? | So I'm currently at a small family thing for super bowl Sunday. Its just me, mom, sister, grandma, aunt, and uncle.
I also brought my dog with me. She's a small but energetic terrier puppy of 5 months old. She's not yet well trained, we've only had her since Xmas.
My dog is always happy to see my family, and often jumps up on them. I try to combat this with swats on the butt as I take her away from the person.
The whole time I've been here has been a big discussion about training my pup which I wasn't interested in having. I wasn't going to shut them down, but wouldnt trust their advice on the matter.
Anyway, the dog did the jumping thing on my aunt and I immediately ran forward to grab her away, and my mom was suggesting I take the dog to my sister's room, which I agreed was a good idea. Before I could cross the small living room to my aunt and the dog, she had my dog pinned town by her neck. Shebwas fighting and whining. When I tried to take her, hands on my dog, she still wasn't letting her go. I had to pull her away from her.
I cant say anything, because with my family I'm the guilty party in any situation, but I am very upset by her manhandling my dog like that.
Am I in the wrong here? And any tips to show a strong willed dog that you are the alpha of the pack would be greatly appreciated. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
3xm4bAJpXQKIyKxD7RSrkHY1HumKpoWs | ag565c | {
"description": "calling my BF's friend racist",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for calling my BF’s friend racist? | For some background, I am Korean, and both my boyfriend and his friend are white.
My current boyfriend just finished his masters, and is about to live independently for the first time. As he just finished university, funds are quite low and arranged to move out with a classmate of his who got a job in the same company.
As both of their work schedules are quite busy, they are looking for a place that has quick and easy public transport to/from work and is not too expensive. My boyfriend also hoping to find a place close to where I live (I still live with my parents since I am still studying) so that it will be easy for us to see each other.
I suggested that my boyfriend look for a place in the suburb I currently live in or surrounding suburbs. I thought this was a good idea as it is about 20 min to work and is far away enough from the CBD so rent is relatively cheap. It is also close enough to their work so if they needed to catch a cab to work it wouldn’t break the bank. We also have 4 shopping centres within 15 min walk and is a very safe neighbourhood with mostly families living in the area. Basically a pretty ideal place for them to live.
However his friend has vetoed this entire area as it is well known that there is a high Asian population. I got offended, and said I found that quite offensive and was pretty racist. He said he “wouldn’t fit in”, and it would “look weird walking around as the only white guy within 10km”. Literally his only quarrel with this place is that there are too many Asian people.
So we had an argument about whether or not that was racist, and now my boyfriend is mad at me and defending him. My boyfriend thinks it’s fair for his friend to not want to live in a certain area. And I agree with him, but I think if the ONLY reason is that there are too many Asian people then that makes him a racist.
So tell me reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
XPiwmx24EIcQynNqmpwDCs6Xcop2MIAv | b1yz8b | {
"description": "telling an annoying guy that I don't want him to get food with my friends and I",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for telling an annoying guy that I don't want him to get food with my friends and I? | To cut to the chase there is this awkward guy in my college that constantly follows me and my friends around much to our annoyance. My friends also clearly don't like him and just don't talk to him.
He is really not fun to be around with or talk to and just ruins the vibe. He is really difficult to hold a conversation with and never talks about anything outside of college work. It feels like he only hangs out with us because he has nobody else to talk to. He seems to be a bit socially stunted and he is a bit odd.
A couple of days ago we were planning to go get some food together after classes. He ran up to us and invited himself to come as well. I just said "Nope" to that and it really upset him. He called me racist and said something along that lines of me being too mean.
Am I being an asshole to this guy? I told before that we don't like him around but he just laughed it off. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
Pt9kXXJnXY7xvlx6HAftOIlk6dvWXZ2B | b4m0a6 | {
"description": "getting mad at my mother for putting me on speakerphone with my boss",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting mad at my mother for putting me on speakerphone with my boss | I’m a graduate student and I hardly have any time to hold down a stable job. I tutor here and there for some little spending money but that’s it while I’m at school. Im INCREDIBLY lucky and forever thankful that my parents help support my studies and my dreams and I love and care for them very much.
I have a part time position as a groundskeeper at my mothers place of work which she got me one summer I was struggling to find a job (yet another reason I love her). I love being there and I have a great relationship with everybody there so if I have some free time I’ll go do some work for the weekends to make some money.
It’s spring break and it has been a HELL of a semester. All I wanted to do when I got home was relax. I sit down for about 5 minutes when I get a call from my mother asking if I’d be willing to work over the week. I politely told her I was really trying to have some me time and would rather not this week when she said “hold on let me put ‘my boss’ on the phone”. She then puts me on speakerphone with my boss who goes into great detail on how much work needed to be done and what a help it would be if I went. I. Was. LIVID. I hardly said anything, to which they both laughed off and said “oh he’s angry!”. Not wanting to seem like an ass I just agreed t everything and when I got off the phone I lost my shit. I was so angry and frustrated that she would put me in that sort of position. It was awkward and uncomfortable. My father heard all of this and immediately took my side, texting her telling her she was in the wrong. She tried to call me all day and I didn’t pick up. I ended up calling my boss back and explaining why I was angry and that I would work one day and get all the important stuff done, which he thankfully understood and accepted. Once I cooled down enough and my mother cane home I calmly but coldly told her how I felt, and she seemed to understand but also seemed upset.
So AITA for being mad about being put in that position? AITA for calling her out on it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
J4Df02e9zXdZcf1URTdMgv3rRaxOeyQV | b5ygv0 | {
"description": "planning on not paying rent to my roommates for April",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for planning on not paying rent to my roommates for April? | I'm getting married in May and will be moving out shortly on April 12.
I moved in 3 years ago with my two original roommates J & P.
P is the oldest and handles the bills (all accounts are in his name) and J is his brother. Because they are brothers, I feel I am nothing but a glorified guest having no say in anything that happens in the house.
When I moved in 3 years ago, rent was $600 excluding utilities. I moved in the beginning of the second week of August. When I moved in, I had to pay my portion of the house deposit along with a portion of one month's rent security deposit plus the two weeks of the month I was going to be there. This totaled up to roughly $500 before utilities.
Long story short, my roommates ended up bringing in another friend to room with them (without my say behind my back), with the landlord increasing rent to $800/month to accommodate the extra person and work being done to the house. We will call this roommate N. N moved in the first week of January 2017. J & P decided not to make him have to pay a portion of the deposit, month's rent deposit or even make him pay for the three weeks he stayed before the next billing period.
J moved out 2.5 months before the lease was officially supposed to end because he was getting married in May as he got a new apartment. He asked myself and roommates if it was okay if he skipped rent. He offered to pay his portion, but my roommates decided that as a wedding "gift" they wouldn't make him pay. They agreed it was okay even against what I wanted. Mind you: N makes roughly $18/hour from cooping with a mechanical engineering firm, P making $70k per year as a Mechanical Engineer. At the time I was making $10/hour barely scraping by. I ended up paying the extra money that my roommate skipped out on.
Two roommates replaced J a few months later, getting the same treatment N got not having to pay any portion of rent for the month or any deposit. *Side note: Only one of the two is actually on the lease, something the agreement forbids.* While I have appreciated the rent being cheaper because of having more roommates, I feel even more excluded as they're all very good friends with each other. When I brought up the conversation with P about me moving out on the 12 of April, he said he wanted me to pay a full month's rent for April and said "to be honest, I guess I could float you, but I feel you should really pay for May too." I reminded him of the verbal agreement I made with them about me being able to skip out like J did, although he claims he never remembers that conversation.
I am silently deciding to not pay rent for April. I don't mind paying utilities for the month of March as that is stuff I used, but I feel like I shouldn't pay rent for April whatsoever after the slack they cut their friends. It's not like they'll be out any more money than I was when J left early. Maybe IATA, but that's up to you, what do you think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
ucdGkIS1i3uwr8Ri6da0IrLOMIHs9SGk | awq9ai | {
"description": "asking my ex wife to take on more responsibility with our daughter",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for asking my ex wife to take on more responsibility with our daughter? | My ex and I have been separated/divorced for just over a year now. Our daughter is 6 and our son is 3. We have shared custody (I get the kids from Saturday to Tuesday, they stay with her Tuesday-Saturday) but I have expressed to her that I think she should either take the kids more often or at least spend more time with our daughter. I admit that I didn’t do a lot of the kid stuff before and it’s been hard figuring out how to shop for their clothes and do the school activities. My ex stayed home with the kids since we had our first so she took over most of this stuff while I worked. But now she’s working again and doesn’t want to take the kids an extra day. I completely understand that she has to work sometimes but I think it would be in our daughters best interest if she spent more time with her. I think I can connect well with my son and can usually guess what clothes/toys/games he will like and we have a great time. It’s more challenging with a girl as I don’t have the same experience like with my son and I think it’s resonable for my ex to take over some things like doing stuff together on the weekends and talking to her about girl things. Since she’s getting older it seems like it would benefit her more to spend more time with her mom. When I ask my ex if she would her or both the kids for just an extra day she gets super irritated with me. I don’t want to have a bad relationship with her and of course I love my kids and I’m just trying my best here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
75ScH9fS2lPSVEuZD9MmFZTQIXWE8rZF | al6a6n | {
"description": "thinking I was to busy to help out a coworker who \"I perceived\" to be rude and to some degree lazy/indifferent",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking I was to busy to help out a coworker who "I perceived" to be rude and to some degree lazy/indifferent. | So I work in a retail/pharmacy chain which I will refrain from naming. I am a supervisor... essentially for the retail side of things. (A step below assistant manager let's say) It's actually kind of unclear if I have any authority over RX employees, so I mostly just play nice and help as needed/avoid trying to tell them to do anything.
This incident in particular happened a few years ago, right when I was still sort of new to my position. My job even before I got promoted required a lot of running around, stocking shelves, helping customers find things, resolving issues at the cash registers (this place really prides itself on excellent customer service).
One day I'm going around on a particularly busy day. I think I was juggling 2 customers at once and had just heard my name called on the intercom for something up front. I had just spotted and grabbed an item I was looking for for 1 of my customers when one of the RX employees also in the back room calls my name. I'm a little annoyed but I try my best to answer politely.
She is back there looking for some sort of supplies for the pharmacy, and to this day I still don't know what she even wanted. She pointed to the paper she had in her hand and asked me if I knew where "this" is. It was a series of numbers and letters, presumably an identification for the item she needed.
I told her "no, I don't know where it is." She responds by asking me to find it for her. Not "help me look for it" but "do it for me." Up until that point all she was doing was staring off into space on front of the shelves and not even so much as lifting a finger to look through boxes to find the item.
At this point I'm annoyed that I've kept other people waiting, tell her I'm still confused as to what it is she was looking for (she didn'teven seem to know either), and that I was kind of busy as it was. I leave the back room to carry out the task at hand. She makes a face at me and makes her way to the back door as well, going so far as to overtake me and beat me to the door. Whatever I tell myself, everything is peachy after that for me right? Nope...
About an hour later the manager pulls me aside in the back room. The conversation, or rather scolding, went something like this.
"Listen (my name) I'm only gonna say this once. When one of the girls in the pharmacy asks you for help, you help them. I don't care how busy you think you are."
He then walked away and left me there feeling dumbfounded. He made it clear by his tone that he didn't care what I had to say about the situation. I wasn't going to push it because I had anxiety about loosing my job at that point. To this day that situation still bothers me. I feel as if he was treating me unfairly and that the woman had played up what happened to make me out to be the asshole. I swear on my life that what I've told is the most accurate representation of what happened... so really, am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
94bGwmOr6EXGRo1M1mh0jXOKCKQjJyBE | a3kzyx | {
"description": "hating my autistic sister-in-law",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for hating my autistic sister-in-law? | (Cross-posted from r/relationships)
Some background: my partner (43F) and I (34F) have an excellent, mutually supportive relationship. Her parents are great as well, and have really embraced me as family, which is nice as I'm estranged from my homophobic, controlling parents. Partner and I have been together for four years. We have an adorable five month old baby. Life is pretty damn great.
The only black spot in our relationship is her sister, my sister in law (40F). I simply hate her. I find her so detestable that it is difficult for me to make eye contact and smile when I see her.
TO be entirely fair to SIL, I can be a grumpy introvert who takes a while to warm up to people. She is high-functioning ASD, what used to be called Asperger's, and isn't good at reading social cues - so she steps over my boundaries without meaning to.
But here are the things I hate about her:
\- She is completely dependent on her parents: she lived with them a year ago until they bought her a house and moved her into it. She is 40 years old. She calls her mother at least twice a day, for an hour each time, because she can't stand being alone. They drive her everywhere and go to all of her appointments with her etc. She gets a small disability allowance, and apart from that they pay all her bills. This is reasonable - after all, she has a disability - but she is SO RUDE to them. She treats them like crap and just takes for granted everything they do for her. For me, coming from parents who never nurtured or cared for me, it is really frustrating to see her not appreciate any of the many, many things they do for her.
\- She completely lacks self-awareness. She thinks she is really calm and chill and self-aware. SHE'S NOT. She's anxious AF and makes everyone else around her jumpy with her annoying behaviour.
Case in point: We went out for lunch today for my partner's birthday; me, my partner, our baby, my MIL and FIL and SIL. It was a pretty fancy schmancy restaurant, which she doesn't cope well with anyway - she gets loud, makes stupid jokes and does her nervous hysterical cackle at the drop of a hat. However, today she decided she didn't like anything on the menu and sulked. My partner asked her not to make alterations (because in the past she's been really rude to waiters, to the point of making a childish face when she doesn't like what they offer). When my partner requested this, she burst into tears and ran off to the toilet. When she came back she sulked and refused to talk to the waiter, meaning that my MIL had to order for her. She ended up getting an alteration anyway.
Argh. There are a million other things that I could list that irritate me about her, but the TL;DR is that she's rude, ungrateful, and lacks self-awareness.
So, Reddit: Am i the asshole? Should I be more considerate of her limitations and more understanding of her disability?
​ I saw SIL today and managed to have a pleasant conversation with her! It turns out she’s not too bad one-on-one, which I never realised because I’d always avoided her. Thanks Reddit! It helped to consider some of your suggestions, especially the ones about lowering expectations. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
E7EWfRotC6Jn1DANCnADGmaAyYjfcXHe | b3fk0e | {
"description": "telling my ex I don't want his girlfriend around our children",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my ex I don’t want his girlfriend around our children? | My ex and I split two years ago. We go a week on week off. We’ve managed to remain civil and work through problems reasonably, but now we’ve come to a head on something and he doesn’t think I’m being reasonable, but I feel like I’m just looking out for the safety of my children.
He’s started dating someone. I don’t know her super well personally, but it’s always been a friend of a friend type thing. I’ve heard plenty of stories where she was involved, it’s a small town and stuff like that gets around.
She’s a party girl. Not just alcohol and weed either, but some hard drugs. She’s also been in so many fights I’ve lost track of the stories. She has a police record as well. My ex can date whoever he wants, more power to him if that’s what he’s into these days, but I don’t want someone like that around my children.
I talked to my ex about my concerns and that I would that when he has our kids she not be around them. He’s refusing my request saying she’s an important part of his life (after dating like 3 months) and it’s unreasonable for me to expect him not to see her every other week. I told him that I would be willing to take them for a night or two during his time if he really can’t be without her, but he refused that too.
I’m not trying to police his life, I just feel like I should feel safe leaving my children with him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
peWwedb8z2EWB4OdtsPjU07c5sviDin3 | ahm1f4 | {
"description": "being upset with my boyfriend for trying to bail on our plans to trip sit his friend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset with my boyfriend for trying to bail on our plans to trip sit his friend? | We are in our early 20s (20-21).
My boyfriend works night shift, from 10pm - 3am. Because of this, I’ve had to poorly adjust my schedule to accomodate and spend enough time with him.
Tonight, we made plans hours and hours in advance that he would come to my place after work, sleep over, and then go with me tomorrow to pick up his late Christmas gift to me which has been put off for almost a month now due to extenuating circumstances.
Around 12am he sends me a message saying his friends parents are out of town and wants to do acid, but wants my bf to trip sit him. Bf said he would do it for 1-2 hours, making the approx time of his arrival to mine 5:30am. He also specified that he might just crash at his friends house instead if he’s too tired to drive to mine.
I was really annoyed with this, because for one we made plans first and I feel like he’s backing out, I also feel like he’s prioritising his friends want to do acid over things that need to be done.
I don’t like that I feel that I’m competing with his friend doing acid. I also stated I don’t want to wait up 5 hours for him only for him to say “hey too tired, gonna crash here” effectively fucking up my sleeping pattern more than it already has been since he’s started night shift.
Normally I am very accommodating and generous with him. He has always been “indecisive” and often does things like this where plans are made and something else comes up. He claims it’s a character flaw whereas I believe he is just chronically lazy and has his priorities in the wrong place.
I also don’t like that he’s put me in a position where if I get upset or say no to him seeing his friend I will seem like a party pooper or a nag. I basically lose either way.
I feel pretty sad now side I was looking forward to seeing him, but now I don’t want to anymore.
AITA?
Tl;dr - made plans with bf, bf tries going back on them to help his friend do acid and expects me to mess up my sleep cycle even more to accomodate. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qnz6H4YLd9hU1wwUpakICHKFXell3HN5 | b6es01 | {
"description": "refusing to split rent with soon-to-be-ex",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to split rent with soon-to-be-ex? | Three-ish years ago I got pregnant due to BC failure, but and we decided to keep the baby. However, husband basically stopped doing any childcare a few months into her life. In addition, despite knowing how hard childcare is to get into, he was somehow surprised that I ended up having to stay at home. He made up an impossible budget and wouldn't give me access to a shared bank account so I had to use up my savings for basics like food and diapers.
I finally got a job a some months ago. I'm hourly but work full-time, I commute 3 hours total a day, do all daycare drop offs and pickups, doctor's appointments, housework, shopping, etc. He barely comes home, let alone do anything around the house (when daughter looks at pictures on my phone, she doesn't even know who he is). If daughter is sick or her daycare is closed, he refuses to take off, so I use up my paid days quickly and usually end up not getting paid a couple days/month. His only contribution is paying for rent/utilities and some living expenses.
We agreed that I would save up to move out. I told him it might take a while because I had to replace some things around the house he refused to pay for, and I wanted to save up quite a bit. I will have full custody, and I have my doubts I will see CS from him. I also don't have much of a support network here so I want to save up as much money as possible as a buffer. I'm not sure when I will be able to move out but I'm hoping to be out in 6, maybe 8 months maximum. I also asked if he wanted me to pay some rent and he said no.
​
I replaced my broken computer last month (used, for quite cheap) and when he saw it, he snidely said he \*thought\* I was supposed to be saving (I was), but obviously I wasn't since I had money for a new computer. He said it was strange that a family with two working adults didn't split expenses and demanded I pay right there. I told him that families with two working adults also split household/childcare duties, and since that wasn't the case, I wasn't going to pay any until he stepped it up. He did not, so I have not paid any rent to him.
​
Am I the asshole for refusing to pay? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xfpge2s9gn0MJpHQ3gioV5pSREaztLcP | ac0gq9 | {
"description": "not telling a secret that wasn't my own",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling a secret that wasn't my own. | Hey, so first time posting. One of my best friends started dating my best online friend. We'll call best friend Miranda and the online friend Dane. Miranda asked permission before starting to see Dane. I was apprehensive but had no reason to say no. They were basically fwb until he started to feel all the feels. He wouldn't talk to me too much about it. Which was fine and better off really.
Things got a little weird after Miranda had made a joke and Dane took it too seriously. She decided to call it quits and he was pissed. She stated her feelings had fizzled out. He confided in me and I felt for him. They ended up sleepong together again the day after. He took it as they were working things out and she just thought it was a fuck. She assumed he knew this.
Nye comes along and Miranda meets some dude and makes out with him continuously for hours then proceeds to take him home and sleeps with him. At this point I'm mad. I dont think Dane deserves this. He asked me if she was ghosting him and I said that she got really drunk. I felt as though it wasn't my secret to tell him. I did tell her that she needed to come clean. Am I the asshole for not telling him?
He thinks so, he found out. Called me a lying two faced cunt and said our friendship was over. He's been one of my bestfriends for years and I'm truly hurt. I didn't know what I should do because she's also one of my best friends. She did fuck up hardcore though. I guess I'm just lost in this mess.
TLDR: Best friend cheated on other best friend and I didnt say anything feeling as though it wasn't my secret to tell. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uJcLAleanFuVPZqHulB1J5XNC1Y0Txf8 | ax42ga | {
"description": "flipping a teammate and fighting with my team",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for flipping a teammate and fighting with my team? | May be a bit long, but this take place over a few months. (Tldr: teammate freaks out for me CATCHING something. I had enough of my teams shit, flipped him off and nearly left, saying that I'm not pay off the team.
So I'm at Uni and I recently went to a competition with my fencing team (I'm an epeeist for those who are wondering) and I wasn't fencing because I'm unranked and the captain understandably picked the higher ranking teammates for the tougher competition. I understand all that and actually agree with my Captain's choice.
What I don't agree with is feeling left out and treated like an inconvenience.
Like when I asked a question about something I would have no knowledge of, my teammate responded with "please keep your comments to yourself" I don't respond or argue because frankly I just bottled it up. Not healthy, but I wasn't in the mood
Back at the recent competition, one of my teamates asked for something on the top of the bleachers. As teammate from the foil squad threw It down to us, I saw it wasn't going to make. almost would, but off by a bit. so I reached out and caught it. The teamate that asked for object then freaked out like "why!? I ASKED FOR IT, NOT YOU, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GRAB IT. "
I had enough of this shit and have only been part of the team for 2 (two) semesters. So I responded by yelling "WHY WHAT?!" as we were both getting in each other's faces. Capt sees this and tries to minimize the conflict. (FYI, Capt is only person who I feel treats me like a teammate) I walk away, fuming. Capt says something about talking with the team to resolve issue... something like that. I tell them something like "it's fine, have fun with YOUR team" before flipping teammate (not Capt) with both fingers.
I have no regrets, and am refusing to elaborate how I feel towards my team TO my team.
I have no idea what I did to piss off my teammates, but I don't give a shit. But I have one question. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4nWHQpQdkc4HpqyewY9pbiyYcYMM9tvZ | ajt4lx | {
"description": "body-shaming my boyfriend when he broke up with me? it's lengthy so tldr at the bottom",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for body-shaming my boyfriend when he broke up with me? It's lengthy so TLDR at the bottom | Hey guys, and this is a tough one for me as everything is still very fresh and painful.
So for some context: I am a 28
yo large and tall woman, have been in what I assumed to be a serious relationship with the 35 yo man for the past year.
My ex has been obese most of his life. When we met (online), and added each other on Facebook, I looked through his photos (obvs) and noticed an obese man standing next to his mother who I assumed to be his older brother/cousin.
Imagine my shock when N. told me it was actually him! Apparently by the age of 21 he got so morbidly obese that his condition became life-threatening and he got a gastric bypass. Now he is super-skinny as he eats a tiny amount of food (less than a handful or smth).
When it was the first time we were about to have sex he refused to take his clothes off, and I reassured him that I could handle whatever he would throw at me. Eventually he undressed and I realised why he was so nervous - after the surgery he was left with loads of loose skin that he didn't have the money to remove. There was so much extra skin around his waist that it completely covered his genitals. Since I was deeply infatuated with him, I did not think twice. If you want a man, you accept all his flaws, at least physical.
Sorry for the long intro, down to the story: we had been having problems for the past few months in our bedroom. As in, he hasn't attempted to touch me for two months straight. Eventually I got really frustrated and self-concious so I ranted on r/sex. Folks gave me some decent advice and I decided to talk to him about it.
Well, the convo didn't go as I planned. Eventually N said that two months ago he met this fit sexy 19 yo at the bar, and she hit on him and he had to say that he was taken, and she seemed to be very upset. And this incident made him think about our relationship. According to him, despite shedding over 200 lb of weight, he still had "a fat man's mentality" and "settled for a big girl because of his lack of self-confidence". To that I started crying histerically. He then said that our relationship can be saved if I "make a concious decision to beat myself into shape" as he realised (after a year of sleeping with me) that he is not sexually inclined (sic) towards a woman with cellulitis.
I was at loss for words. As an overweight (but not anywhere near obese) woman I am constantly on guard, I'm eating healthy and have an active lifestyle. N., on the other hand, lost weight surgically and retained all of his unhealthy habits (he eats only unhealthy foods, hates greens and holds any healthy options in uttermost contempt) but since he's eating micro amounts he doesn't gain any weight.
I replied that I am constantly dieting but no matter how much I do I will never become a skinny petite 19 yo he met at a pub.
To that he replied sceptically that all I have to do is to eat tiny amount of food just like him! It's so easy to lose weight if you eat as little as him!
Now, guys, this blew my head off. I yelled at him: If if it were so easy to eat tiny amounts why were you so morbidly obese by the age of 21 that your life was in danger?
And also something like: how dare you give reccomendations to me, a woman who is super-concious of what she eats being a man who has never done anything to lose weight, acquired zero healthy habits, whose weight loss was achieved only by a surgeon's scalpel?
Of course he took offence and stormed out of the house. He has been with his mother for the past few days, and there are dozens of angry texts on my phone from his mum and sister. They are calling me names and saying that N is depressed because of me, and that I will most certainly burn in hell. At the beginning I felt justified and self-righteous but now I'm feeling assholy. I fell really low but I could have fallen lower, I could have told him something about his loose skin but thank God I did not.
Guys am I trully an asshole? Sorry for the long and incoherent read. I'm a bit of a mess!
TLDR Previously obese boyfriend with gastric bypass breaks up with me on the grounds of my weight; I call him out as a person who has never done anything to lose weight apart from a surgery. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
Mf0fDmbIF4iqrqjNYFtla2Ds2HgNlBxq | axjd1n | {
"description": "thinking my friend might be badly self-entitled",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking my friend might be badly self-entitled? | I don't know why I feel like this. It feels stupid of me ... but here goes.
I met someone months ago ans we've hit it off pretty well. We'd crack jokes, help each other in serious problems and talk everyday. We've gotten close to the point that I might have even had a crush on her.
That admiring dies down on my chest later, anyway. Her ex comes on and tries to apologise to her. She panics and all her other friends call the guy names, one of them being "self-entitled."
... Now this is the part where suddenly, I get sad. And I couldn't quite place it. I have no idea what happened between her and her ex, and I should probably respect that as I don't have a place to judge.
*Self-entitled.*
I guess I felt that my own friend was also self-entitled ... and for some reason that made me upset. I really don't know why. But it's like my gut was telling me something was very, very wrong here, yet I didn't know what it was.
I always recalled my friend calling herself "a good person." And I believed in that, and it's probably true. But then whenever there's other drama going on, she runs away from it. When it's her turn to cry, someone has to go to her, or else she'll feel invalidated. She has anxiety, so that's something to understand on her part. It's a reason why we have a rule not to call her dirty names, even if it's a joke, because she's that sensitive. She gets jealous of me sometimes, when I'm not around her and hanging out with other people, instead.
Though my feelings didn't stop. I couldn't shake it, something just seemed off. I talked to my friend how I felt about her as light as possible, and she took it as a personal attack. She said never to call her self-entitled because she was just taking care of her mental health. But why does it feel so ... cowardly to me? Maybe I idealized her too much in my head. I must have thought she was better than that. She said I shouldn't be all hopeful because other people can be bad too, and instead care for my own friends. But I do. I really do. I love my friends and I do everything for them, from drawing art, throwing them celebrations when they don't expect it and listening to their problems. That doesn't mean I should stop liking people in general, too. Is it truly wrong to see good things in people, sometimes?
Am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hoi3Bxm8zppQfwnMyHpa2ald0uWKUC6g | ar4nis | {
"description": "dictating where my brothers children go to school",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I dictate where my brothers children go to school (I'm paying for it)? | I am going to be paying for my brothers children's education we luckily are close and have very similar opinions on education. I am prepared to write an education trust fund for his children however I am worried about 3 possible issues that could arise if I don't include a specific institution in the clause. potential issues:
1. He could send them to a lesser institution which does not meet my criteria for what a proper education is.
2. He could be influenced by his wife to send them to a lesser institution.
3. He could pocket the money and send them to public school (highly unlikely)
We have already discussed which schools I would send my own children so i'm not really that worried that he will screw this up however I do know it's best to get things in writing. Would I be overly controlling if I say a specific school?
​
​ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ySMMljpvpPD6GACfVx9iq38FOLqMgECf | acr35a | {
"description": "telling my date that I slept with two others before we had the \"talk\"",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my date that I slept with two others before we had the "talk" | So, I met this girl in some 3 weeks training and we had a fling there. Now, I liked the thing b/w us but wasn't sure where do I want this to go and neither did we had the "talk" before we separated.
Back in our towns and I invite this girl to spend new year with me and she tells me she can only come if I hope that this thing b/w us is not just about sex but can be an exclusive in future. I said I'm not sure and she asks that if I slept with someone meanwhile and I said honestly yes. To which she seems upset and decides if I really see a thing b/w us, I should visit her and that she feels bit hurt (she drank and vomited that night) that I couldn't wait to fuck someone else. Also says that we both will not see anyone else while we are dating.
I tell her, I want to give the thing between us a chance and so I visit her city on new years. New years eve she ask me to tell about that other girl and I tell her about another girl as well (I had been with two others). And she suddenly is upset that she is angry with herself for letting me visit her and that I was maybe never interested in her. We hardly talked for 2 hours and then she says if I know someone in the city so that we can part our ways. I get very emotional at this point and was crying in a restaurant for an hour. She also a bit. She says that she can see that I am not interested in her that much and she already loves me ..and this thing is gonna break her. Also, that me being with these two girls makes her insecure as she feels I am not getting all what I want from her. She also tells me that usually if her date said this thing to her,she would have asked him to leave her car.
Things get better after this. We spend the night together. While parting ways we had the "talk" again and I tell her that I am bit afraid of how fast she is going and how she talks about getting destroyed and feeling hurt. To which she again gets upset that I am trying to distance myself from her and saying such things right before I depart.
In the past she had suicidal thoughts or tried one I am not sure.
TL;DR: Am I the asshole for seeing other girls while not having the "talk" ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
j6JCQ1xAd82V3oPvACcIs9BwCETcHOIS | ayai6c | {
"description": "banning my roommate from bringing overnight guests",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for banning my roommate from bringing overnight guests? | Before I begin with the reason as to why, here's some context: we live in a twin room. This means that our beds are in the same area in the same room, facing each other in an L shape. We are both female.
Yesterday, my roommate and her female friend were preparing to go for a party in our room. I had been feeling sick for a few days and opted to go to bed a bit early, immediately after they left. My roommate was aware that I had been running a fever.
Then, in the middle of the night (around 2am) I am abruptly awaken by the feeling of someone who had just taken a seat on my bed (and my feet). This obviously shocks me and when I open my eyes all I see is a large shadow on my bed due to the darkness, which freaks me out. I immediately ask who the hell he is and he says that he's with my roommate and didn't know I was there. I tell him that he gave me a huge scare and he offers to hug me, which I refuse. At this point I'm already angry.
In the meanwhile, my roommate is in our bathroom clearing vomit from her clothes and her afformentioned friend is in her bed. Eventually, the male guest gets into bed with her friend, saying he wants to sleep, but starts kissing her. My roommate is just sitting at her desk staring at her phone. I get irritated by the lip smacking and go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and cool off. At this point I am seriously considering yelling at all of them to get out.
When I get back to my room and contemplate telling them off by staring In their direction, my roommate seems to get the hint and convinces the male guest to leave. I'm somewhat relieved, but at this point can't sleep, so I use my phone for about half am hour. During this time her friend falls asleep and starts snoring loudly. Then, she and the male guest return and start searching for something. I am really pissed. It's the next morning now and there's still vomit in my bathroom.
I would not have minded her having guests if she had informed me beforehand, and if they would not invade my space in the room. Also, maybe I'm a bit traditional, but I'm really not interested in her or her friend's sexual activities, and don't think it's acceptable for her to bring over sexual partners since our beds are literally facing each other. She also managed to choose the worst possible day to do this, while I am still sick and in need of rest. I am thinking of confronting her and telling her not to bring anymore overnight guests, but I don't know if I'm overreacting. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
UMWvZyjVH9Cx1isycI5BmbknGCdsBPjf | aj5znn | {
"description": "telling my parents they should get rid of their dog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my parents they should get rid of their dog? | My parents have had this dog for the past couple years and in the last year they have really let the dog go. I have told them repeatedly that they are in need to take care of her and take her on walks as well as monitoring her eating. She isn't a heavy set dog and has gained so much weight due to them never taking her out on walks and letting her eat as much as she wants. My frustration really comes from their unwillingness to take the time and go on walks and say that they cannot afford someone to come and walk their dog. I see them buy other things that seem more frivolous to me, (they just bought a carpet, an Alexa..etc.) When telling them that they should either get rid of their dog or start taking care of her they told me it was not my place to tell them how to take care of her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Z823bmSqXg8x9lzQCtJrAlU4QvMJps9t | b47fcn | {
"description": "not wanting to pay for drinks",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to pay for drinks? | About two years ago I had a nice business idea with a friend (both of us are students) and after some beers we were drunk enough to try to get it started. It worked out quite well and last week we decided to accept a bigger company's offer after some negotiation and sell (both of us want to complete our studies and aren't ready to lead an actual company yet). Both of us got \~700'000$ (each) out of this.
When I told my other friends (mostly students as well) last week, they asked if I was going to party on Wednesday (20.3.) and I said sure. I mean just made more money as a student than I ever hoped to earn in a year, so I was quite fucking happy.
At the club, a friend asked if I would buy a few bottles (wodka) - namely 5-6 bottles. I offered that I could buy some food or 2 bottles, but I didn't want to throw out \~250$ just like that. We always split bottles and shot plates and paid individually for cocktails and food, and I don't see a reason to change that. Someone else then called me greedy and selfish (other friends agreed more or less, except for one who took my side). AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FRW4a4osAXgezYttB54jhdyHpqlO6aOh | abrhe9 | {
"description": "being content with my current job",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For being content with my current job? | Don't think I've made a post before, hi Reddit :)
tldr at the bottom.
I'm (25) a LSA (Learning Support Assistant) in a school, the money is terrible but I really enjoy helping children learn. Honestly I've had a lot of jobs in the past and this is the only one I feel like I'm making a difference in.
My SO (36) gets into this heated discussion with me every now and then; your job doesn't make enough money.
I could train for a year to become a teacher. It's the obvious path to more money for me and stay inside the thing. But teachers have to work waaaaay more. It's unreasonable how much they have to work and it's not like they're paid a fortune. I've been in lots of jobs from farming to the tech industry; coding and testing. Nothing has given me the satisfaction I get from watching people learn with my help.
I have a mild general anxiety disorder and have suffered from heavy depression in the past. Keeping my workload low has really been helping me find a balance in my life. I don't care about money, I don't have a car, rent is (just) affordable, I'm happy to live like this... That said, I'm not paying a mortgage.
Her argument is that I'm unable to save up a reasonable sum of money for emergencys, or just life in general. She thinks it isn't enough for me to live off of and I'm not thinking enough about my future. I'm not really sure she's wrong tbh. But I'm happy with how things currently are, I don't want to push myself harder, possibly becoming overworked, for money I don't care about.
AITA? I really don't know.
Thanks for taking the time to read!
TLDR: My job makes me little money but I'm happy with that, SO would like me to look for higher paid work.
P.S: I love by SO with all my heart, she has become my fiancee as of last year. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
XolfnJyKztAxdE0NcSwMoXYZ4ufrseow | av9zy2 | {
"description": "leaving the day my contract expires",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving the day my contract expires? | Some context,
I was hired by NGO as an intern with the understanding that once the internship period ends (3 months) that I would be given a new contract to sign with a fixed position and an increased salary rather than the internship 'allowance' which was provided.
My contract expires this week and I had yet to hear from any member of management as to specifics or details so last week I decided to pose the question myself and asked to negotiate on the terms of my new contract (that was the past Friday). I was told by my manager that they would like to keep me on and that they would like to give me a confirmation of full time employment under the same contract terms as my internship, this would also mean that I make the exact same amount only as an actual salary instead of an allowance (just different terms but basically the same thing minus some tax stuff). I pretty much said that I signed on with the expectation of an increase in salary and new terms such as overtime pay (seeing as i got none and there's an unending crop field of the stuff - I'm talking late hours and even weekends at times).
My manager says that they wouldn't be providing me any increase in salary, but if I signed on, then they could review an increase at the end of the business year (August for them). I said it wasn't what I was expecting and I needed to think about it.
Personally, I think I've already mentally checked out but they have this big upcoming project they're working on and they rely on me for a bunch of stuff that other's can't really do (not propping myself up, just stating that the others don't know how to or are very basic with this set of tasks). I feel like I'd be throwing the rest of the team under the bus but I don't think it's worth me being undervalued and pretty much cheated.
I've told them that I don't plan on signing a new contract with them and am intent on leaving this week but they would like me to stay on for another month to hand over duties. I told them that's not really my issue and that all my work is available on my desktop PC. My contract does have a month's notice, but that's only for resigning/termination of the contract during the period, not expiration (I've triple checked).
So yeah, AITA for leaving on the day it expires? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5Ynv1AT2Rdl5fpa6nbx0i1n4XbVIqWh0 | aue8cq | {
"description": "slightly blaming my dad for my bad grades",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for slightly blaming my dad for my bad grades. | I'm 17 and live with my dad, my grades are abysmal and have been since I was a 10. The main things harming my grades are homework and classwork that I don't finish. I don't get homework done because I'm horrible at procrasting and I don't get classwork done because I lose focus a lot, so my classwork becomes homework. I've asked my dad for help keeping me on track, specifically for him to pressure me to do my because I feel no pressure to do homework, but my dad just tells me I'm too old for that and I need to get it sorted myself. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 28
} | WRONG |
obJLx1dLBJVwEI3p5YoxXKPd617M75DE | b9141c | {
"description": "telling my roommate she needs to do a better job potty training her dog",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my roommate she needs to do a better job potty training her dog? | So my roommate got a new dog about 2 months ago (let's call my roommate Sara), and the dog still hasn't been potty trained. Her and her boyfriend (let's call him Jesse) have been letting her roam the house during the day when they're both gone, with the expectation that the dog will use the doggie door to go potty (they were keeping her in their bathroom when they were away, but Jesse said he doesn't like smelling poop in his bathroom and suggesting letting her out when they leave). Well, that hasn't been happening. The dog has been shitting in the house pretty much every single day since they got her. A few days ago, while getting ready for work in the morning, I was making my lunch and started smelling dog shit. I look over and sure enough, the dog left a big ol' pile right in the kitchen (it's a pomeranian so they're not very big, but still). In a furious mood, I sent my roommate an angry text message. Here's the full text of my message:
"Ok, im gonna be an asshole for a minute. You really need to do a better job pottytraining her. Its really frustrating having to wake up and see/smell dog shit every single day. Not only that but its kind of inconsiderate to your roommates"
Her response was not very positive. One, she said something along the lines of "I am aware of the issue but If no one wants to offer any suggestions, I don't want to hear it". And two, she tried to deflect blame to her boyfriend, saying "It's his dog too! He was the one who wanted to let her out when we're gone!" I have since sent Jesse a message explaining that I don't think the dog should roam the house while they're away, and he was pretty reasonable and agreed. I suggested leaving the dog in the backyard when it's a nice day.
So... I'm not being an asshole, right? It's not unreasonable to not want to see and smell dog shit every damn day? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YgwHymrQyF4NP8U2nrqgaGdiJYgsZN5U | aaweo2 | {
"description": "using my open relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for using my open relationship? | We (both m) had a fight a month ago and his glorious idea was to open our relationship. I didn't think doing that was a good idea, I thought we should first have a harmonious relationship before opening it. With me having been a real asshole during our fight I didn't dare to push back though and agreed.
As far as I know he used it twice already, sucking off a guy or getting sucked off. I don't know and don't really care about the details. He was very active on some apps while I was more reluctant. Yesterday I finally did it, I met a guy and had semi sex with him. It was a guy he was interested in. He showed him to me and told me he wanted a threesome the day before.
Since I regard honesty as very important I told him I met the guy. Now he is very angry because I "stole the guy away" and had sex with "the only guy he was really into" (he already met others and is chatting with many more!). He says he feels unattractive, like I always want to compete with him, that I beat him, blah, blah. He is a very attractive man, but so am I and I use that without holding back.
Am I not allowed to have sex with anyone he considers attractive? I believe his biggest issue is his continuous lack of self esteem, which I can't really help him with. Telling him how great he is does not work. He ignores his success with guys, focusing on mine. I don't want to compete him, I just want to do whatever I want without having to follow one sided rules.
​
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
Ojz7tJ13Q1GT4s7svEDH0jvoqhBlYvON | 9tnwbu | {
"description": "playing music in my living room on friday night",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for playing music in my living room on friday night | You guys, long story short I'm with bruises on my lips, broken tooth & bleeding from my ear and asking this. My younger brother is staying at my place (over a month now, he's going abroad to study) and sharing the room, which is a little small room for 2 people and TV gaming setup. As typical Friday night, I'm having beers with flat mate and playing loud music in living room. My younger brother who does his religious ritual (in balcony outside living room) asks me to reduce speakers volume and I ask him to go in the room to do his thing. He sits in the room and removes the power supply of music speakers twice. I get pissed and ask him to fuck off and all the hell break loose out. Major fight happens where younger brother is punching and kicking the shit out of me and I'm just defending myself. He went out of the place after solid 15 minutes of fighting session (one sided because I was just defending, lol) and I'm here with bruises over my face, asking you guys this! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
EZjpcuiYPlJmfYiVvpqMxDA7lolWC4fC | atu57e | {
"description": "being uncomfortable with this",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being Uncomfortable with this? | I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We both have different out looks on sex (neither of us are actively religious. He was brought up Jewish but doesn’t practice). He believes it is totally fine to remain “good friends” with your “friends” you’ve fucked. Even when your partner is not comfortable with it. I believe your past is your past, and all past flings and exes should be that.
He knows I am not comfortable with that and a while ago he finally agreed in the scenario if one of those “friends” of his came to town, there’s no way they’d be staying at our place. Also that I can only control myself and I don’t have to have anything to do with them, but I cannot stop who he is “friends” with.
He plans to do a road trip with his brother in the summer. Because it was driving me crazy, I asked him if there was anyway he planned on going to that state one of these “friends” are in and if so, would he try and stay with them. The answer is yes. Even though I expressed I’m not comfortable with it and he knows I would be 1000 miles away (if I cannot afford to go on this trip and cannot be there) angry and pissed at him. Note this “friend” is married and the brother would be staying as well in the scenario.
My bf likes to turn it on me and say it is a trust issue and that I do not trust him. Ultimately he is saying it shows I do not trust him not to cheat on me. I do trust that he won’t cheat on me, but it seems crazy to that he does not care I’m not comfortable with it and will deliberately do it knowing that.
Also in the conversation, he then graciously added he will not get married until he puts me through a “test” and see how I react in this scenario or when he hangs out with one of these “friends” by his choice. He says he needs to see how I will react because he is “afraid” of what I will do and I might do something “dangerous”.
Am I the asshole for not being comfortable and okay with this? Also should I dump him for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
wAvJsirueqcT7B0xecSAcvHImqUxjwSa | b94rsa | {
"description": "telling my professor about my mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my professor about my mental health issues? | So I recently got into an overseas university, and since attending my mental health has pretty much tanked. As such, my grades are absolutely dismal right now and it's not really helping my mental state. I've recently started antidepressants and while they help, they kinda fuck with me in other ways. On top of that, due to issues getting my prescription abroad, I had to stop taking them for a short period which fucked me over further.
My Mandarin professor is the sweetest lady ever. I seriously love her. Thing is, I knew that she was so kind that if I told her about my mental health issues, she would do her best to accommodate for me. So I told her, and she did. I'm so grateful for this, but I feel like I'm taking advantage of her kindness. I knew that she would help me, and I kinda feel like I'm using that as an excuse to slack off more. This past week has been really difficult with me not having my meds, and I haven't made it to a single lecture. She told me today that she's been really worried, so I told her about the situation and she told me just to rest up and that she understands. She also asked if I wanted to talk to the on-campus counselor, but in the past I haven't found them to be useful and prefer speaking to my regular therapist. I feel like I ought to take her up on the offer though, since my professor seems really concerned and I feel like speaking with the counselor would put her at ease. Again, I'm really grateful that she's so kind, but I can't help but feel like I'm taking advantage of that kindness. So, AITA? And any suggestions for how to deal with this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6J7OJdWfPT6ZuTPvF5Hl5ho9tQvRVQ8j | alvxzl | {
"description": "being reluctant to buy more booze during my own birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being reluctant to buy more booze during my own birthday party ? | Obligatory, sorry for likely mistakes, English is not my first language.
Quite a soft AITA compared to the nasty stuff you see here.
​
Back in 2016, I was an exchange student in Poland living with other exchange students (Erasmus+ for my fellow Europeans here. It was my birthday so we threw quite a big party, lots of people, booze, beer pong you name it.
When we were out of booze, some of my flatmates suggested I could go to the liquor store 10 meters away from the flat to resupply. I was a bit taken aback by the request and calmly said I was reluctant (money wasn't and issue)
They asked me why I didn't like this idea and I explained them: In the place i've been raised and in all the birthday parties I have attended (mines or friends), the person whose birthday it was didn't have to spend a single Euro on anything because it was entirely up to the guests to buy everything. (In a house party setting, if I was celebrating in a bar, I would pay for my own drinks unless a friend offered to pay me one.)
They basically told me, since they bought me the presents, I could at least contribute to the party in some way. I was flabbergasted by such an argument , thinking it was super rude to phrase it that way.
There was a bit back and forth but since it was my birthday I didn't wanna make a fuss about it and act entitled so I just went to buy the beers (and it was freaking cheap anyway). I spent a wonderful night, got shitfaced, and got really nice presents from my friends so everything went well and all was forgotten quite fast.
I wasn't sure if it was a cultural thing because one my fellow French flatmates agreed with the fact that you should also buy supplies on your own bday. Maybe it was the exchange student setting where even though it's bday party, we organize it as a regular one anyway so everybody contributes, I dunno. Maybe you guys have the answer!
So, should I have been reluctant to buy booze on my own birthday party ? Did that make me TA?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
wu5X5rSyuDSvEqHGoJz28NhPv14iOL3v | au9rwc | {
"description": "leaving her on read then arguing with her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving her on read then arguing with her? | AITA for leaving her on read? This is long
Aight so me and this girl have been friends since freshman year, and we’re seniors now. She’s extremely manipulative and gets mad at me for everything I don’t do that she expects me to do. For example, a while ago I was walking down the hall with a friend and me and him were gonna be late for gym. She sees me and I just look at her and smile and she stops and says “wowwww ok”. She expected me to stop and go give her a hug and talk to her for a bit. I don’t get why she gets mad at everything i don’t do that she expects me to always do. And mind you I’m such a push over when it comes to her and I never open my mouth bc she talks to her friends about things.
Ok so last night she sent me a video of her showing me how wet she was. Mind you the last time she talked to me she was mad at me.
-she was mad at me bc when they went in the senior trip, and I didn’t, I asked her if it was even fun, and she left me on open and I sent “why are you leaving me on read tho?”. Bc I just asked a simple question. She then responded the next day with “ cuz you’re annoying and only worried about trip over how fun my snaps look”. I just asked if she had fun and she got mad because I didn’t comment on how good she looked. She doesn’t look god and I don’t know why I should bring myself to lie just so she won’t get mad.
Sorry this is long.
But after I just opened the video and didn’t find a reason to respond since I was in no way turned on and upset that she only wants to talk bc shes horny. And she got upset and then I proceeded to tell her that I have no obligation to respond to your sexual videos or pictures, just because you send something doesn’t mean I have to send something back or say how hot you look or some shit. I don’t do that fake turned on shit, if I’m not turned on I do not sext, its that simple. I told her she shouldn’t only be texting me when she’s horny that’s not what I’m here for. And she goes to say that I never text her. I told her texting isn’t a one way thing and I didn’t want to text you especially after how you treated me last time we talked.
So AITA for not responding to her lewd sexual video after her treating me like I’m her personal self confidence booster and a little puppy to her? And also for not wanting to be sexual or sext or anything | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
XXqvemFrS1nDBFExOQIff88ECFwpzeLM | b89mqd | {
"description": "potentially ruining my relationship with my brother by choosing to live in a dorm",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for potentially ruining my relationship with my brother by choosing to live in a dorm | So, some back story here. I’m a first year college student and had already been staying in the dorm for my first semester. Unfortunately me being dumb went to a concert and took something I shouldn’t have which nearly killed me and left me in a coma for few days. So I had to medically withdrawal and move back home.
The experience alone was enough to scare the shit out of me and now I’m more careful than ever, so much so that I stopped drinking completely. Anyways I planned to move back once spring started because it’s about an 25-30 min commute to my college (plus I was on a full ride so free housing!) I discussed this with my mother who was reluctant but agreed given I’d come home on the weekends and visit.
Now my brother and I have aways had rocky relationship we would sometimes go months with out talking. We were fine up until he found out I reapplied to live back in the dorms. He immediately exploded on me saying I hadn’t earned anyone’s trust back from what happen with my accident and that I was to blame for nearly breaking him up with his gf (her family is quite conservative and once they heard about what happen to me it painted a bad picture on him) however I don’t feel bad as she made SEVERAL inappropriate jokes about me during the ordeal, for instance after recovering I went out to eat barbecue and she joked “vegetables don’t eat meat” (I was induced into a coma). I was taken back but didn’t bring up to my brother cause I knew he would side with her since they have the same “humor”. He’s also in a pretty big organization and went on to say how embarrassing it would be if they found out what happen to me. Which I don’t understand because I wouldn’t have given two shits what other people think had it been the other way around. He claims I’m being selfish and inconsiderate, leaving me with an ultimatum to choose to dorm of lose him as a brother forever.
Here’s the thing. We go to the same college and while he excels in his studies and commutes, I don’t. I need the extra help and the resources my school provides, so living on campus is a much better option, he doesn’t understand and expects me to commute as well. and honestly I enjoy being independent. Growing up I felt like everyone’s punching bag. I was always in trouble and getting beat and it only got worse after my father passed. My family was stressed and sometimes it was taken out on me. I still have verbal fights with time every so often so I’m trying desperately trying to stay out of the house so that we don’t fight and maintain a good relationship . But my brother just sees this as an opportunity for me to go back to the dorm and party it up. I understand the worry and pain i caused them with my accident, and I love them very much. I do value the relationship with my brother and I care for him but I feel like living away from home is my best option, so AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L7fmCxtVetnm6cHbGxCh2o9fvJpy6a07 | 9vsp6l | {
"description": "being pissed at my parents about this",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed at my parents about this? | TL;DR I asked my parents for an instrument for years but I get rejected for years and instead buys something more expensive and ignores my wants.
It happened around a couple months ago and I found this subreddit today.
Ever since the 8th or 9th grade, I've always wanted to have an instrument (piano/keyboard, guitar, or bass guitar). I really wanted one as an outlet for my mental health because I was getting tired of using my phone and social media as one. Every month, I keep asking for it and they always say "Oh we don't have enough money. We'll get you one soon." I was understanding every time. Overtime I grew impatient. I asked them a hair more "aggressively" but still politely. It's the same damn excuse I hear every fucking time. What's worse is that they buy expensive shit over the years (a new house, a new TV, rent a truck, a shit ton of stones for a walkway, expensive shoes, etc). I was getting a little bit angry but I don't want to cause any more trouble between them and I(coincidently, me and my parents started fighting since 8th grade) .
Now let's get to a couple months ago. I was just in my room being depressed and on YouTube(again, I have nothing else to do) and I heard that they called me outside to get something. When I went outside, my dad bought a fuckton of stuff. I have no idea where he even bought them from. He bought a old antique clock, a bunch of electric candles with a candle holder, a semi new printer, a shit ton of coffee mugs, a bunch of alcohol, an a couple new dressers. Pretty fucking expensive, right? When I looked at them, I was furious. Very furious but I didn't make an outburst, just quietly moved the stuff from the car into the house. I glared at them which they said "What's wrong with you?" I didn't reply. They proceeded to yell at me and demanded that I help set up the printer (lol). After I was done, I marched into my room and didn't come out for like 12 hours and ignored their calls for me. Reason I'm asking if I'm the asshole is because my extended family members commented that I'm an ungrateful child and should always respect my parents and I've told an internet stranger this story and said I'm kinda dickish for yelling at them and been told to be more paitient or try harder to get a job.
Before you answer I'll tell you some quick facts about me;
1. I am 16 and a junior in highschool
2. I can't get a job yet because I don't have a reliable transportation and every job I've applied haven't called me back yet.
3. We're not poor but sometimes it gets tough around here.
If you want to ask me questions or you're suspicious about me or my story, I'll happily respond to you. It's 3 am here so I'm sorry for my poor grammar and rambling. I'm kinda tired. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
b3XOmIVaTu4VeAJqUdzAn6lrSiRshpXQ | a06tac | {
"description": "\"ghosting\" a tinder date after meeting in person and finding out she is wheelchair bound",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 98
} | AITA for “ghosting” a tinder date after meeting in person and finding out she is wheelchair bound? | This was over a year and a half ago, and tonight my buddies and I are drinking and discussing old relationships/tinder dates. I met a girl over tinder, we exchanged numbers, chatted for a few days and agreed to meet for drinks at a bar. I got to the bar and ordered 9 or 10 shots before she got there to loosen up a bit (I tend to say inappropriate things on dates when I’m sober due to being nervous). This was around 7PM and she arrived around 8:30...in a wheelchair. Now, I want to be very clear here - nowhere in the Chat, in the tinder pictures, in our text messages was it even IMPLIED, let alone stated, that she was in a wheelchair. I feel like I was catfished, except I wasn’t as she looked exactly like she did in her pictures, just wheelchair bound. She was a really nice girl, we hit it off, but I don’t want to string her along at all because I wouldn’t be able to be with her long term (I do a TON of traveling, both US and abroad, and our lives wouldn’t be compatible). I also realized that this would always be in the back of my mind if I were to date her - that her physical limitations would cause me to feel some sort of resent towards her altering my lifestyle. I mean hell, we were watching a Bama game at the bar and I felt extremely awkward after I blurted our “Roll Tide”, something completely innocent because I was afraid that it unknowingly offended her - it stayed in the back of my mind the entire date. Eventually I mentioned to her that I had a great time, but had church early in the morning and had to head home. I bent down and gave her a kiss but didn’t imply anything about meeting her again or continuing correspondence. She texted me over the next couple days (I didn’t respond as I didn’t want to lead her on), and on the last day she went on a huge rant calling me all sorts of names...so I think I dodged a bullet there. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 92,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 98
} | WRONG |
mXE6BaBju0J1MABWOp7lCRWesOvy0f5T | 9wziv6 | {
"description": "calling to report a gas station employee",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for calling to report a gas station employee? |
So I go in to a speedway to get five dollars in gas, a black & mild, and a slushie like I have at least once a week for the past five years. Everyone in this gas station knows me and my order, I have shown my ID there on multiple occasions to the point were no one cards me anymore. Besides this one lady we'll call her Sarah. She has been there two year and I've had multiple interactions with her most of them being unpleasant. So I know she knows who I am and who old I am.
It's my turn to check out so I ask for $5 on my pump and a 85c black & mild, she ask for an ID, which unfortunately today I did not have tody do to only have a paper ID at the moment. I tell her it's fine and I will just take the gas and the slushie.
After my transaction with her I walk around to the other cashier (which is one of the coolest people there, he has even given/let me use a lighter before) and ask for the black & mild which he agrees to and proceeds to cash me out. Sarah comes over and starts yelling at the both of us, telling me how I had no right to go to her coworker after she had just denied me. I try to explain that I'm 21 years old and how her and this man had seen my ID before, how neither of us had done anything wrong, and how she had no right to yell at either of us.
She was not having it so I grabbed my cigar apologized to the guy that sold it to me for any trouble I may have caused, to which he tell me he could lose his job. I went to pump my gas, at which point another customer comes to me and explains that she is like this with everyone and how he avoids this gas station at all cost because (and I quote) "she's always on some bullshit". I thank him and drive home to get my ID.
Upon returning to the store to show her my ID to make sure the guy wasn't fired. She tell me she can't accept a paper ID, which I know is a lie not only because one of the acceptable forms of identification she listed was a government issued ID and my paper ID came from the BMV. But also because multiple speedways in my area including that one has accepted paper IDs from me before.
I explained that to her and she tells me that they don't accept paper IDs or expired IDs (which is funny cause the card ID I had a couple weeks ago expired in March and she personal accepted it). She continued to yell and tell me she found not accept it and she was just going her job.
At this point I was tired of talking and ask for a complaint form. Which she at first told me was on the rack with the applications, They weren't. I tell her they aren't there and she proceeds to snap more telling me she only doing her job and that she would write down her name, her job title, and the number for me.
I get home to call and instead of customer service she gave me the number to the store help services for store experiencing problems. I had to wait on hold for 30-45 mins to get the actual number, then had to wait on hold for another 45-60 mins before getting a person that could take down my complaint.
TL;DR. Got carded asked another cashier for my contraband, got yelled at. Produced an ID, got yelled at and lied to. Got feed up, reported employee. Am I The Asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
L5OrGRRyOKCUk0ujxHbcuNG5y2jLEUc7 | b2jmgx | {
"description": "avoiding my childhood \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for avoiding my childhood "friend"? | This girl, we'll call her Ruby is my classmate and a girl i knew since childhood. My mom was friends with her mom and me and Ruby got along pretty well.
​
Growing up i realised that her mom didn't like me. She always had something bad to say about me, criticize my behavior, my clothes, everything i said or did. She always compared me to her daughter and brag about everything Ruby did. Everytime I was at their house visiting Ruby she'd always try to make me feel bad about myself. I ignored her because I cared about Ruby. I remember one times Ruby told me how her mother is always telling her to be better than me and how she hoped she could become me. I don't remember what I told her but her mom tried to make her daughter do everything I did but better. I started playing violin and two weeks later Ruby did too. I said once that I wanna go to med school and the next day Ruby wanted to become a doctor too.
I started noticing that she is harsh with her daughter. I don't wanna say she's abusive but from my perspective she seems like that. Ruby is allowed to only wear clothes that her mother picks, read books that her mother picks, and all day long she has to study. (at least that's what Ruby told me). I don't know how to put this into words but I can see that Ruby is not acting the way she wants and she's very insecure. At first I tried comforting her and helping her but I grew tired of her mother and the way Ruby became.
Now we are in the same highschool and in the same class and Ruby's mother tries to make me look bad in front of my mom everytime she can.
One day mom came home very mad because she met Ruby's mother and she tried to tell her every single thing i did in school that seemed bad exaggerating everything. I don't skip school without a good reason but that woman told mom that I always skip classes and I have only bad grades and comparing me to her daughter and saying that Ruby is such a good child.
Mom is no longer friends with Ruby's mother because everytime they saw each other my mom didn't feel comfortable talking to her. My mom said that Ruby's mother always had an "I'm so much better that you" attitude and she grew tired of it (just the way I did).
Because we are in the same class Ruby tries to talk to me and to spend time with me but I don't feel comfortable doing that anymore so I started avoiding her. I always responded politely to her but I tried to let her understand I don't wanna talk to her or hang out with her but she doesn't get it. I started running away from her everytime I saw her and when Ruby wanted to go with me to the subway station I'd always make excuses so I don't have to spend time with her. I kinda feel bad about this but I don't feel comfortable spending time with her anymore but I also feel like an asshole for doing this.
So reddit, am I the asshole for avoiding Ruby? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
NkwpaiYse1MIWCSYePX3wIVVftJOOf7n | aujowt | {
"description": "getting mad at a family gathering and storming out cause they didn't get my niece a birthday cake",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for getting mad at a family gathering and storming out cause they didn’t get my niece a birthday cake ? | Hi well this is a long story. So I have a family, I have seven brothers and sisters. To say it’s dysfuncfional or has had problems over the years is a little bit of ah understatement.
It’s always been about the women of the family too. The sister in laws, my sisters etc.
I feel like everyone is kind of isolated, everyone has had fights over the years, and no one wants to start anything.
So apparently my sisters knew it was my niece’s 16th birthday party. They got two cakes (but not for her), and didn’t even acknowledge her birthday really. (She was forced to be there also).
Basically my sisters are a lot younger than me and my brothers. The two youngest ones (in their mid 20s) I assumed would be more mature.
For those who are confused, my family is kind of dysfunctional. My sister in law who is the nieces mom, practically did so much for my younger sisters in their lives, and the fact that they made a family gathering on her birthday and don’t even acknowledge it. I just didn’t know what to say. (I got her money btw) for a present.
I just made a scene honestly. I was so angry. I just said it was fucking bullshit and what kind of shit is this. I never act like that ever. Everyone was so surprised. I just said they needed to grow the fuck up (in front of my elderly religious parents) and I left.
I could tell my SIL and brother were upset and uncomfortable that no one acknowledged her birthday.
fucking arranging a family gathering and don’t acknoledge it was their nieces birthday what the fuck | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
0n0ioAY4QJItPXLs2Ibn4LAbJikDwlJC | ayjf7z | {
"description": "not inviting Dad to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not inviting Dad to my wedding? | Alright so a little bit of a backstory here. Coming from an Asian background, my father always was a strict individual. He is also known to have a short temper, having random outburst over the littlest things you can imagine.(One incident that I will never forget is he had a mental breakdown when I made a small mistake at a Supermarket self-checkout).
When I was 12, he decided to bring me to Australia to live with him. (I'm originally from Taiwan, and for the most part lived with my Mum's side of the family)
So growing up, I had to endure his mental outbursts and verbal abuses. This has affected me in many ways, most notability my self esteem. I've no longer trust my gut, I've become soft spoken (every time when I try to voice an opinion, he shuts it down and accuses me of talking back to him) I'm just like a different person than I was before.
​
Fast forward 15 years, I'm finally getting married to the love of my life. A lot has happened since, but here's an overview.
\- I didn't have the best high school/college/university life. I was a shut in, suffering from depression etc etc
\- At one point after getting my degree, I was struggling to find a job that is relevant to what I was studying
\- I decided to work several jobs concurrently in the meantime.
\- I moved out of the house after having a heated argument with my father. I was 23 when this happened.
After moving out I changed my mobile number and cut out contact with my father. I've told myself that I no longer want anything to do with him. It was a struggle at first trying to make ends meet but I managed and was lucky enough to meet my lovely fiance who supports me like no one else.
Now back to the present, I'm finally getting married and I've sent invitations to my mum and friends. Mum told me that she will let Dad know but I was adamant not to invite him.
Today, I received a call from my dad for the first time in 5 years, congratulating me whilst asking me about the invitation of the wedding. The moment I hear his voice, a chain of emotions starts to overwhelm me. Tears rapidly dropped and I can feel a mixture of hate and resentment. I know the sacrifices hes done for me in the past, but I just can't get over the emotional abuse and depression that were caused by him.
I hung up the phone without replying to him, I also blocked his number. Mum called me after saying that Dad is tearing up and really wants to be part of the wedding. I straight up said no, saying that I've put up enough of his abusive nature, he will not be invited and is not welcomed. I also gave my mum an ultimatum, if she was to bring my dad to the wedding, she will be kicked out and that is will be the last of our relationship.
Obviously I'm filled with rage right now and I'm trying to think rationally.
So redditors, AITA here?
​
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
tdGyNMbsw83TLXV8s4UWsE0inDZbMdca | as7q3z | null | AITA? Terrified and chased charity workers |
Allow me to open with a little disclaimer here; I am totally the arsehole in this story, but was it my fault?
At the time this happened I had just moved to a lovely little flat in Mississauga, right on Lakeview.
One morning (I think it was a Sunday) there was a knock at the door, a little bemused as I wasn't expecting anyone I opened the door to find two young, attractive people there in smart clothes. Both blonde and blue eyed (this will be relevant later)
SG, Smart guy, SW, Smart Woman, SEG, Stupid English Guy (me).
SG, Good morning sir, we were wondering if we could talk to you for a moment
I naturally assume that a bible is about to be involved and start to give the standard response of
Me, yeah, I have all the god I need right now ...
SW, Oh, don't worry, we're not here about that
SG, No no, we're collecting for the National Front and ...
I looked at these two and I. Saw. RED.
See, in the Uk the National front are a collection of incredibly violent Neo-Nazis who generally travel around in gangs breaking things and attacking anyone who isn't their (very limited) version of pure.
I chased these two out of the building Effing and Blinding at them. How dare these racists pricks come to my home and ask for money!!!
That evening I was telling my friends about what had happened over a beer expecting them to be as outraged as I was.
They stared at me like I had shot a puppy and this is when I learned that they were in fact collecting for the National CHILDREN'S Front, which was just usually shortened to National Front.
I was mortified and went down to their offices the next day to apologise (and make a guilt donation) and explained what had happened to the manager.
She was actually really cool about it all and was glad I had gone down because she couldn't figure out why two of her Door Knockers had been chased out of a building for being "filthy racist anti-semetic effing scum"
TLDR: I accused two charity workers of being racists because of a cultural overlap | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 26,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
4wI3k3w9FDnPmSF90dnKnzWvuzbTLL5p | ax60dr | null | AITA Father getting kicked out and leaving tomorrow and I'm happy | My father is a meth addict and he's well a junkie, he's been leaching off us for years. In every way, we've tried getting him help. We've tried getting him methadone anything that might help, he's always tries to rationalize it, and it's just a big fucking no. He and my mother argue a lot, he's got his money and is leaving tomorrow I'm happy I'll hopefully never deal with him again. I'm 14 and he's caused me years of mental tourmant and stress, so bad that I can't remember most of my child hood cause I blocked it out, what kid wouldn't block out mental, and physical abuse, and a time in their life where they could never think straight.
I want To say a lot. My father was raised by a H'A whore, he was abused a lot but instead of learning he kept the cycle going. With our family.
There is years and years of mental and physical abuse I can't talk about because of that word cap I've written this like 3 times now. He's tried to rationalize everything.. He used to use methadone then his dosage got bumped down and he spit on his doctor and got kicked out of the pain clinic, so he ended up going to meth, instead of maning the fuck up. But hey who's the asshole? Sorry I can't explain everything, I really want to but I can't. There is just years and years of shit I want to write down and share so you get the whole picture. Anyways he's leaving tomorrow, I'm happy. Even though it's hurting my mom. I'm there for her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.