id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
JdLbEOLMNJy1l4A2HNnPQiLY3PdlkVdO | ajpg3p | {
"description": "not buying my girlfriend weed during her panic attack",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not buying my girlfriend weed during her panic attack? | A bit of background:
-My girlfriend has PTSD and is a sexual assault survivor. Her abuser is in prison, but he has an opportunity to get out on day leave in April. She has to go to the prison and give her statement on why she doesn't believe he should get day leave (he's been imprisoned less than a year) and this is very stressful and triggering for her. Her PTSD keeps her from working, and she's currently on disability.
- My girlfriend has been "self-medicating" with cannabis for over two years now. She's high maybe 50-70% of the day, and it's affecting our relationship and her healing progress (it causes her anxiety to be without it now). She's admitted to herself that she's addicted to it and began the journey of quitting weed last week.
- We live in Canada and cannabis is legal and sold in stores.
- She doesn't have her licence at the moment and doesn't have money to spend until her next cheque. The only way she can get weed is if I take her to the store.
---------------------------------------------------
Last night my gf was having a really rough time because she was going over the news articles about her abuser. She was feeling very triggered and began having a panic attack, begging me to take her to the cannabis store, saying she'd pay me back on the 1st.
At first she said she wanted just a CBD strain, then that evolved into wanting a balanced THC/CBD strain.
She said she's been having a really rough time this past week while trying to quit, and she should be able to smoke once a week when she's very anxious. She was getting hysterical and was hyperventilating and it was horrible to see her feel that way.
I ended up saying no and just taking her for a drive instead. My reason being is that it's hard for me to differentiate between her actually needing cannabis for her PTSD, or her using it to feed her addiction and hide from her emotions. The first day she started quitting she begged me in a similar way and had a panic attack, but afterwards she told me she was happy I said no and she truly realized how much it has control over her.
I think the reason she had such a strong panic attack in the first place yesterday is because that was the first time in forever that she dealt with those emotions sober.
Part of the reason why she's behind in her healing progress is because she doesn't know how to deal with ANY bad emotion while sober anymore. Weed was always her go-to.
She ended up calming down after a while but I feel incredibly guilty. I don't know if what I did was the best thing to help her or not.
Even today she's still trying to convince me to take her to the store, and I feel stuck. I don't want to enable her addiction but at the same time I don't want her to have panic attacks because I didn't get her what she needed.
AITA in this situation?
TLDR: My girlfriend has been using cannabis to help with PTSD for two years but now she's become addicted and can't go without it. After a week of trying to quit she had a huge panic attack and begged me to buy her weed. I said no. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 48,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
3UUkO3w8Eocw9XISq4md9t4XLsilA6en | b4c79d | {
"description": "leaving a rider in the middle of NYC",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for leaving a rider in the middle of NYC? | **TL;DR** *- As a driver - accepted a ride on a ride-sharing app, saw that it was too long a drive for me, asked rider to get out, they said no. Decide to go on with the ride. Rider becomes increasingly disrespectful during the ride - includes putting feet up on the armrest. Pull over in the middle of her ride, tell her to get out - she doesn't. Tell her I'll order her a car, order the car, and promptly cancel when she's out of my vehicle. AITA?*
So on my spare time I drive for ride-sharing apps to make cash on any upcoming travels I have. I work a normal 9-5, but I genuinely enjoy driving around and listening to music so I don't mind doing this. One night I'm driving really late and decide to crank out one more ride, so I accept a request and when the rider gets in and I start the trip I realize that the ride is close to two hours long into NYC.
For those of you unfamiliar, if you do not have a special license plate and license you cannot pick up riders in NYC, this makes driving from NJ to NYC kind of unprofitable. While they do pay for your tolls you are basically wasting gas driving back to NJ. Also, be mindful that ride destinations are only seen once the rider is picked up.
I explain this and mention that I'm pretty tired so I'd rather not drive her and I would cancel the ride myself so there was no charge to her.
This where the story takes a weird turn: The rider says no. They don't want to get another driver and that they are already in my vehicle so I have to drive them. We have a small exchange and the rider seems to be a genuinely good person so I decide to go on with the ride.
Once we cross the bridge into NYC she begins to be obnoxious. Complains about the radio and wants me to pair her phone via BT whilst driving, berates my car, and what drove me off the edge is that she put her feet up on my armrest.
I ask her a few times to lower her feet in a friendly manner, but she refuses to do so. I tell her that if she doesn't take her feet down I'll get off at the next exit and cancel the ride. She mumbles something to herself and I say it one more time to make sure she understands what I'm about to do and she mumbles to herself again.
I get off at the next exit and pull over. She starts yelling "what are you doing?" and I say "canceling the ride" - which I promptly do. I told her to get out of my car because the ride is over and she tells me she's not getting out. We have an unpleasant exchange and I then proceed to turn off my car and wait until she gets out. She starts yelling some more and telling me that I'm broke and I have no life, the whole nine yards.
Now I'm just frustrated. So I tell her that I'll do us both a favor and order her a driver to take her to her destination. She pleasantly agrees with a grin on her face. Driver comes, she gets out of my car, into their car and then I promptly cancel the ride and I go on my merry way.
​
AITA for handling the situation the way I did? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
WFGG3nemkxJ5GAIdMD8tLPyfIYgyIEyy | 9uqe51 | {
"description": "not voting in the midterms",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not voting in the Midterms? | I have recently turned eighteen and due to the relative buzz of keeping up with assignments and work, I completely forgot to register to vote. On top of not registering, I have not been keeping up with politics, so even then, I believe myself unfit to make an educated decison and vote.
However, two close friends of mine were rather pissed that I had not registered, and proceeded to get into a fight with me, going as far as to cite my political beliefs as my "justification" for not voting. It ended with one of them storming away, beyond belief that I had skipped out on voting.
Am I the Asshole for not voting despite not being well-informed enough to even do so? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
LygLi6vM2wGf71QzYVPmhdqjGhkmxqzS | avwkm3 | {
"description": "not giving my grandma her ex husband's ashes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving my grandma her ex husband's ashes? | So this is a little tricky, and I'm posting sort of for my mother too, since she is the only kid out of three who actually gave a shit about her dad and visited him regularly. My grandma married into the family when I was very young. The context otherwise, is that I'm the only grandkid who put up with their disgusting Baptist church views, mostly because I loved my grandpa and wanted to see him as often as possible. I knew I hated church at that age and basically just put up with it because it was a weekly forced thing if I wanted to see my grandparents. I knew I was pretty gay around thirteen, and hearing the pastor of this church tell a kid not to listen to Queen because "That band is gay", basically turned me into the massive atheist I am today.
Well fast forward a few years, I knew I was trans, but I didn't make it into a huge deal, I was only out to a few friends. It isn't largely important to the story, but it is very important to me, because I have zero desire to ever be nice to this woman after hearing how her church views queer people.
My grandpa died around seven years ago, and as per his request, he was cremated and put into a large urn he bought, with four very small urns for his three kids and I, since I was the only grandkid who ever visited him. When my mother and I went to the house to get our urns, my grandma basically told me that she didn't want the massive urn he left for her and asked if I wanted to trade. I took the offer and brought grandpa's large urn home, leaving her the smaller one, while I was happy to have more of him to cherish. I still live with my mother, so the large urn is in her bedroom, which I have no problem with.
So a few years later (after step-grandma remarried), she suddenly told my aunt she wanted my urn back, because she was getting up there in age and my grandpa had initially said he wanted his urn buried with her. She's remarried, they aren't getting buried together. I think she'd just found out that I'd come out and started transitioning and she just decided she didn't like it.
My aunts both think that my mom is a bitch for not giving the urn back, but I have been actively campaigning for her to either release the ashes at his favorite fishing spot, or to put some in the garden so he can become a part of her favorite flowers. Neither of us want to ever speak to the vile woman who used to be my grandmother, and we don't speak much to my aunts either, since they don't agree with my transition and refuse to call me the correct name and pronouns. And mind you, this is four years into my transition, I don't look like a girl anymore and I've legally changed my name.
I don't know where my mom and I stand here. Any feedback is appreciated, just please keep the trabsphobia to yourselves if you can.
Tldr: am I a bad person for wanting my mom to keep her dad's ashes, despite my nasty hyper religious and homophobic grandmother wanting them back after giving them to us? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dv5EaqGQ50hpMiwMcFlJgAAblJgfl7Zw | az2mep | {
"description": "calling a driver a sl*t",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for calling a driver a sl*t | So I was cycling to meet my girlfriend on the way to college.
We were talking on the phone (I have one earbud in so I still be aware of the traffic around me) and as I was coming down the road when this driver pulled out right in front of me, failing to give way to me and forcing me to go on to the other side of the road meaning I was next to the driver's window. She wouldn't accelerate or brake to let me move out the way so I had to slow myself down and then she just sped off.
I was pretty mad at this driver for nearly knocking me off my bike so I ended up saying "What a fucking slut!". My girlfriend then got mad at me for calling her a "slut", stating that "You can't make assumptions on her sexuality/sex life".
Quite frankly, that was the last thing I was trying to comment on, I was just really pissed off this woman who showed no mercy or any remorse for nearly seriously injuring me. It was a spur of the moment decision of mine. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
MtWY6nXKLDR4U0KuwRpM5YJLnX4MdRSZ | 9wppcs | {
"description": "not wanting to pitch in for an unnecessarily expensive gift for a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not wanting to pitch in for an unnecessarily expensive gift for a friend? | The girlfriend of a really good friend of mine is trying to get 30-40 people to all pitch in $10 for a game console for his birthday. Originally she wanted to buy it herself but I told her he doesn't need a gift that expensive since they've been dating for less than a year and she can barely afford her bills but she has it in her head that he really needs one so a few days later she made a group chat asking everyone. I think it's a sweet idea but I just think gifting someone something that expensive is unnecessary.
What do you all think of the situation? WIBTA if I didn't contribute?
TLDR: friend wants people to pitch in for a gaming console for mutual friend's birthday and I think it's too expensive | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
MuRF1KJ14GhjqdGeAr4NXQKreIJcMiuh | a2qu7j | {
"description": "not giving her a second chance",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving her a second chance? | Sorry for the fact that it's a little long, TL;DR at bottom.
So a few days ago, I found out that my girlfriend of a little over a year cheated on me. We're not intimate (and I'm not a particularly sex-driven guy) but by all accounts it finally started seeming like things might get more serious before this. We've lived together the whole time.
I passed out early in the evening (around 6 pm) after a particularly tiring 6 am to 5 pm shift at work. I woke up a few times during the night, notably 11 45 pm and when I finally got up at 4 am. At 11 45 pm she was in the shower and I joked about how I should join her because I had work again in the morning, before laughing, going to the bathroom and falling asleep. Nothing seemed odd at this stage.
At 4 am when I woke up and she wasn't in bed I knew something was off -- she didn't work that day and she wasn't around? Sometimes she'd work as early as 4 30 am, but I knew she was off that day. I freaked a little, worried, but just texted her to make sure she was safe, to see where she was. I waited around 30 minutes without a response before I started to get paranoid. Mostly worried about her safety at this point, she'd never struck me as someone who would cheat, period. I didn't work for another 2 hours so I decided to do some looking around to see if I could find out where she went just to make sure she was safe and not in a wreck in a ditch somewhere.
She has two phones at the moment: her old one, and an s9 I got for her when I upgraded to one -- they were BOGO at the time. I knew her pass code to her old phone (she knew that I knew it) because sometimes I'd mess with mutual friends on Discord by being like "oooooo I'm acting weird and saying stuff like 'I'm a butt' spoooooky!" But never anything bad and I only did it when me and her were playing around. Her old phone was still sitting around, so naturally the first thing I do is look there for clues. It doesn't have a SIM card, but maybe she told a friend on Discord she wanted to spend the night with em? NBD if she did, she'd be safe and I could have my peace of mind, right? No problemo?
Well, wrong. First I find her lying to a friend about how I treat her and playing it up for "oh-pity-me" points and naturally that upsets me a bit, but I figured I'd just talk to her about it later and move on. It hurt, but she must have had a reason right? Having this upsetting bomb dropped on me, I click on the next most recent person on the list that she'd talked to -- some guy she added like 3 or 4 days prior.
Normally I wouldn't give a damn if she made a friend or not, but just the first screen of messages from as late as 3 am is worrying: flirting, kissy faces and a whole lot of "I wish you'd just leave him and be mine uwu" from the other guy. It still hasn't clicked with me, but the gears are turning. Scrolling up hurriedly, I find two damning things: 1) she sent him pictures of her breasts JUST THE NIGHT BEFORE WHILE IN THE SHOWER and she enthusiastically accepted, flirted and complimented him on pictures of himself jacking off to her. The gears finally grind to a halt: Oh my God, the woman I loved is cheating on me. I break into hysterics, and later have to leave work early because I just can't focus -- at all.
She finally texts me back while I'm looking at a picture of this dude's cock, and I'm still in shock so I text her back pretending I know nothing. I do a little damage control and processing. I haven't read anything else between them, just the flirting and damning pictures -- I don't know if they've actually slept together at this point or not (still don't) or if it was just pictures. I told her one thing when I moved here, however, and that was "I don't care where you go, what friends you make or what happens -- no cheating." She begged me not to leave her but I did anyway, and especially when she continued to lie to me up to just a few hours before we broke up I can't bring myself to just let it go. She lied to me all that time and I even gave her free reign before I cut it off to tell me anything on her mind, to air her grievances, and she seems to have deemed telling me unnecessary. She told me she'd never do it again, that she'd let me snoop her phone daily if it would prove that she's loyal in the future, all sorts of stuff... I just can't bring myself to forgive her. Imagining her with him is just too painful. I still feel like an asshole for leaving her after she begged me not to though, and I still have some feelings for her but can't get the image of her cheating on me out of my mind.
TL;DR girlfriend flirted with, sent naked pictures of herself to, and enthusiastically accepted dick pics from another guy (of him jacking off, to her.) I have no proof they actually slept together, but she was gone in the early morning and lied to me about where she was. She begged me not to leave her but I did anyway because I couldn't stop thinking about her cheating on me.
So, AITA for not giving her a second chance, reddit? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kRZsqa0RCcSLSkT6PISHMwvtv2p0UO2Z | ak60tt | {
"description": "buying curtains",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA? I bought curtains... | AITA? So the important details: I've always been the one to decorate the house. My wife and I are both, not necessarily "homebodies," but we enjoy spending time in our house together as a family. Over time, we have discovered that certain things are important to her and not to me and vice versa i.e. she thinks it's really important to have a garden, so we built garden boxes and hauled soil the whole nine- I could care less, but it's for the house so I'm fine with it. I care more about the decisions inside, anything decorative is from my choosing, because she could have the wall be blank for as long as we live here and it wouldn't matter. Also fine with me because I enjoy decorating.
When we moved in, the previous owners had left the hardware in the wall over the windows where curtains used to hang. It has been on my list of things to do for awhile (we have been in the house almost a year) but other things took priority. Today, we were at the store and I came across curtains that were a really good deal and would match the color scheme of our room. While I was looking, a saleswoman asked if I needed help, I asked if she had the teal in the 4 pack (since the 4 pack would be the best price and we have 2 windows) she said she thought they could be ordered and to follow her. I quickly mouthed to my wife I would be right back and followed the saleswoman. She found the right color and with a discount she applied after tax the total came out to $25, for blackout curtains. I was stoked. When my wife and son came over and she asked what I was doing I told her ordering curtains. She became stone faced and said she would be in the car. I finished the order, walked to the car and asked what was wrong. She was mad because I didn't consult her at all, and she didn't want curtains and after trying to talk it out, we agreed we couldn't agree because I didn't think I did anything wrong. AITA?
TL;DR: I bought curtains for our room and my wife is mad because I didn't talk to her about it | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
I9gTeug7S9Mag5Sy0oKPSvEfhs9oftVn | av56wx | {
"description": "being political on Facebook and annoying my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being political on Facebook and annoying my girlfriend. | Throwaway.
So I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost a year and it has been going really well and we haven’t had any huge fights. Actually I wouldn’t even say this is a big fight, I just genuinely want to know if I’m in the wrong here.
Basically, I’ve always been very inactive on Facebook, but for whatever reason I’ve started posting a lot about Climate Change, Politics, Trump, etc. It’s nothing too off the wall, crazy, or conspiracy theory but I do have my opinions. This was a couple weeks ago that I started posting articles and talking about my opinions on Facebook. Fast forward to today and one of my friends asks my girlfriend why I’m posting so much political stuff, shows her the posts, and all that.
My girlfriend asked me about it and I just said I wanted to share my opinion and it’s all truthful and I think it’s enjoyable. Then she gets annoyed and distant. She said that she didn’t want to defend me to our friends and have to explain why I’m being so political.
A little more backstory: her mother is super crazy with politics, very right wing (not that it’s necessarily bad but she is over the top). Shes a little bit racist and very vocal and a bit of a bully. She is notorious in our community so my girlfriend has had to deal with that all through growing up and has to defend her mom. My girlfriend stays far from being political and never talks about it, i think her mom being so toxic scared her away from it.
Anyway, I told her this was very different, I wasn’t posting anything crazy and only one close friend had brought it up in jest. She just said drop it and has continued to be distant. I told her if she wants me to stop then she should talk to me about it, but, once again, she said drop it.
So, am I in the wrong? Should I have said I would stop as soon as she seemed annoyed? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
9Pbe0rgcDHeJb97Nb5I95X5TRV4ubWvO | az4zpw | {
"description": "flagging down a server",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for flagging down a server? | Last night, my husband and I went to a well-known chain sporty wings restaurant on the same lot as our local movie theater. We picked the place because we had tickets for a 7:45 showing of Captain Marvel.
We arrived at 6:30 and were seated quickly. However, we then sat for 15 minutes (an actual 15--I worked in customer service, and my biggest pet peeve was people who exaggerated how long they had been waiting) without anyone making any contact with us whatsoever--no "Have you been helped?", no "Hey, we're a little behind but I'll be with you shortly," no drink orders taken, nothing.
The area where we were seated was sort of in the middle of the dining room, so it was hard to tell in whose section we were assigned. One potential server we'll call Orange Jersey (OJ) was (nonchalantly and without much urgency) taking orders from people who had already been seated before we arrived. OJ made eye contact with us several times as she came and went, but didn't acknowledge us, so I figured she wasn't our server.
Another potential server we'll call Red Jersey (RJ) was heading toward a booth with a receipt and I politely flagged her down as she passed us, saying, "Excuse me, miss--would you happen to know who our server is? We haven't had anyone come by our table and we've been here for 15 minutes." RJ apologized and said that she could help us and she'd be right back. We said no problem and thanked her.
When RJ came back, I asked if she thought the kitchen was moving at a good speed and whether she thought we'd be able to get finished within 45 minutes. She said she'd make sure our table was priority in the kitchen. We thanked her again. Honestly, she was great--she dropped off our check early so we would be sure to be finished paying quickly and brought us to-do drinks without us asking. We tipped her nicely.
As we were putting on our coats to leave, I told my husband, "No way we'd be leaving right now if we'd gotten that other server." He said, "Yeah--and we definitely would have gotten her if you hadn't said anything. While you were talking to RJ, OJ walked by behind me and I heard her get pissed off that we grabbed someone else to help us."
So, WITA for asking for service from a different server? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KWmkLNKRDEbEpJ46gpB7RkVwadAikOjq | aoxlbk | {
"description": "wanting all of my friends to stay together on our holiday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting all of my friends to stay together on our holiday? | Hi everyone, so my friends and I are travelling to see another one of our friends who lives in Spain.
I was the 2nd last one to be invited and it was agreed we (4 of us) would stay with our Spanish friend despite me insisting I would stay in a hotel so as not to cause trouble to our Spanish friend, but he insisted I should stay with him and the others.
One of the 4 (lets call him Roger) then felt bad that he had not invited one of our other friends (Vincent) so Roger invited Vincent (Roger was also the same friend that invited me on the trip) however when Roger then asked our Spanish friend if Vincent could come Roger said no because he did not know Vincent very well etc etc.
Roger started panicking because he had now invited Vincent but Spanish friend did not want him there, so I tried to be nice and to not make the situation awkward by saying I would stay with Vincent at a hotel.
This then settled the whole situation.
Now 1) I would have thought that my other 3 friends or at the very least Roger would have said well why don’t we all stay together considering Roger was the one that causes this problem. It bugs me that I will be alone with Vincent in our accommodation and the others will be having fun together.
2) Vincent is now saying he wants to travel the day after we all get there (because it’s 20 euros cheaper) - this has aggravated my feelings about this even more because I am not happy staying in very small town where I don’t speak the language on my own in an AirBnB. I am tempted to say to Vincent “well I am spending 70 euros more than planned to stay with you and not leave you alone but you can’t spend 20 euros.
FYI - Vincent doesn’t know that there was this whole situation about our Spanish friend not wanting him there and that I was originally going to stay with the Spanish friend.
So am I the asshole for a) wanting us to stay altogether and b) if I say that to Vincent? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
mC2rL1yI1lJhpv2756PH0uwFMEKLCO8s | aixoq7 | null | AITA SunChips, Soft Drinks, and Boxes of Macaroni | AITA? This past July I renewed my lease for my college apartment and opted for random roommates to fill the 3 empty rooms.
Our apartment had really good energy for the first two months. Then I noticed that I was running out of peanut butter faster than usual. I work and shop at a wholesale grocer and I get paid very well for a college student.
Periodically I will go to the store and buy large quantities of snacks to last me a month or so. At the time I had about four jars of peanut butter and that quickly disappeared. I learned that one of my roommates was eating four slices of toast covered in peanut butter every morning both of which were mine. This particular roommate was very rude and told me that he didn’t give a fuck about my peanut butter or bread straight to my face and told me to grow some balls and worry about something else.
The problem here is that I work 30+ hours a week for my money to pay my rent and buy groceries and my other three roommates get their rent paid by their parents or are using loans to do so. They all somehow can afford to eat out every night and yet choose to eat my food. After having a little house meeting I bought a shelf to store food and since we don’t have a pantry and everyone had an assigned shelf. My shelf was always loaded with bulk item foods and quick meals that I can make in between class or work until today.
Today in particular it was a turning point. Another one of my roommates invited several friends over and they all got high and ate 30 bags of my SunChips, 17 Granola Bars, and 2 boxes of Macaroni and Cheese. What really pisses me off is that they think this is OK. Several times I’ve asked them to pay me back for these things because honestly it does add up and I’m not trying to bitch over a few dollars I’m bitching over tens of hundreds of dollars. How can I get my roommates to pay me back without starting a house war? And am I the asshole for asking them to pay me back for my groceries they didn’t even ask for? But I am fed up with asking. Now it is more like demanding and being told to fuck off. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
nDb5bclTHSJcLsE4IM5Zoo0sSZo04i8Q | au5bc0 | {
"description": "showing my girlfriend pictures of my exes who were way better looking than her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA I Showed my girlfriend pictures of my exes who were way better looking than her | Heres how it came to be that i showed my current girlfriend pictures of my ex girlfriends who are much more attractive than her.
So i would consider myself a slightly above average looking guy. Im fit, tall, and have a good personality. Over the years i have been with my fair share of attractive women. But the girl i am with now is the woman i undoubtedly want to marry. I love everything about her in a way that ive never felt for any other woman before.
That being said, she is definitely not the prettiest girl ive ever been with, be it hooking up or long term dating. She's what i would consider averagely cute. We know quite a bit about each others sexual history but there are a few women ive been with who she has never seen before that i would consider super attractive to downright gorgeous. She has only ever actually seen 2 of the girls ive been with before her. One of them was a drunken one night stand and the other was an actual ex i dated for over a year. The one night stand was not my proudest moment.
So whenever we argue or fight she has this argument that she likes to hold against me. Along the lines of "i am the most attractive girl youve ever been with. You never have been and never will be with a woman whos better looking than i am, so you better get your shit straight because you have no where to go from here but down." And she uses this as her primary argument in a somewhat threatening and very mean kind of way to try and make me feel bad about the women i was with before her. She has even taken to pulling up their pictures and pointing out their flaws in comparison to herself.
So the other day i had had enough. I told her you know what? Ive never showed you these girls out of respect for your feelings and confidence but here are some of the better looking girls that ive been with that ive never told you about. And i showed her some of the girls instagram profiles. As you can guess it didnt end well, we only fought more now she has that to live with for the duration of our relationship. But i was sooo angry and so sick of "these ugly bitches i used to be with" always being thrown in my face i couldnt take it anymore. And thats about it as far as that went. What do you guys think? Am i the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
5VBTVTAd8nfewX22ONUcpkjvM0xs48xI | aslja0 | {
"description": "reaching out to my ex bf's ex gf to help her get her closure",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for reaching out to my [23F] ex bf's [24M] ex gf[18F] to help her get her closure? | My ex bf gave me closure months after our breakup which made me feel good. So I asked him to do the same with his ex gf for I believed she hadn't moved on bcoz she had stalked me 3 years after breaking up with my ex bf.
So knowing that my ex won't talk to his ex to give her the closure I then texted his ex the next day asking her why she had stalked me 6 months ago. She said that my profile was on her recommendations so she merely checked out my Insta story. I told her that the reason I was texting her 6 months after she had stalked me rather than on the very day of her viewing my story was coz I thought she might not have been over him and I felt that I could help her now that I've also broken up with my bf. She said she was over him a long time ago and it's fine. That was it. We promised not to tell our common ex bf about our interaction. And immediately next day my ex bf then texts this ex gf telling her the reasons he broke up with her. He surprisingly had listened to my advice after all &then he texted me that he had texted his ex.
Now months after this incident that is 2 days ago this ex gf accidentally asks him how was I doing. He then asked her how she knew me. She said we talked but didn't tell him what.
So he immediately texts me furiously asking why had I contacted his ex and said, "why can't you all keep your shit together?" I said sorry and said that I shouldn't have talked with her & that it was way out of the line behaviour from me.
But what pissed him more was what was it that I had talked with his ex. But before I told him what it was we talked he said that he's been very good person to me after the breakup but he won't do that anymore and asked me to stay away from him. He now is ignoring me and also the other ex.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
1CdnTx3xigCe5SVmSBqctvDfL55XeXZF | 9xk7u0 | {
"description": "breaking up after she returned",
"pronormative_score": 293,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA Breaking up after she returned | So my girlfriend and I were together for about 7 Years now, in January she decided to go to australia for 9 Months. Everything was fine and we talked on the phone once or twice a week. After she returned on Monday i invited her to our favorite restaurant and we talked. In the conversation i asked as a joke if she was loyal to me. Her reply shocked me she said very calm that she slept with 4 Guys in this time. So i asked her again because i didn't belived what she just said: "So you cheated on me?". And from here just comes the most unlogical explanation i ever heard: "No, i was aboard it's not cheating because we are only in a realtionship here" I kind of freaked out and left the restaurant. I later took her stuff from my aparment and gave it to her with the note that our relationship is over. She cried a lot and didn't realized why i'm doing this so i explained her why. Now she is blaming me on facebook and everythingto be an asshole for suddenly break up for no reason.
​
So did i overreact or not? And sorry for the bad english i'm trying my best | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 289,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 293,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
xcCUA4iDvUD0AclgiEGD30CZT0GCth1Q | alyk6p | {
"description": "not forgiving my sister",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not forgiving my sister | I just recently discovered this sub and thought it would be a good way to decide on something I have been struggling with for years.
Ever since I was a kid my sister was always horrible to me. She's 2 years older than me and she would always treat me like shit. Up until I was about 6, I adored her. I always wanted to be around her but she would always push me away. For example, at times she would just be playing on the computer and I would ask if I could sit in the room and play by myself so I wouldn't bother her. Then she'd hit me and yell at me until I would leave. Things like this happened on a daily basis. Eventually, I started having the same feelings towards her. I hated her and we would fight constantly. I've never been a big guy so she would always win, especially since she had 2 years on me. Basically, she made my childhood a living hell. I was also bullied a lot as a kid and she didn't do anything to stand up for me, in fact, she joined in at times. Specifically around 7th and 8th grade, I was bullied all the time because I was really small and a ginger, basically the easiest target there is. Going through puberty while being bullied by not only your classmates but also by your sister was really hard.
To give a little more background, my sister and I are polar opposites. She's an extrovert, she fit in with the popular crowd in high school and partied all the time. I'm very introverted as most of you can probably relate with. I like to stay in my room on the weekends and play video games. This was always something she used to make me feel bad. She would always call me a hermit and say I have no life. Any time she would get in trouble with my parents, she would try to take the attention off herself by bringing me up and saying things like, "look at him, all he does is sit in his room!" I always did that because I wanted nothing to do with her. I would insult her too, but rarely was I ever the first one to say something. I mainly just kept to myself so I wouldn't be her target.
Right now, I'm a senior in high school and my sister is a sophomore in college. Within the past couple years we've tried to mend our relationship. We're on a lot better terms now than when she still lived with us. My parents kind of helped with that. My mom basically had to tell my sister how horrible she was to me as a kid because up until then, my sister thought it wasn't a big deal. When she was told that, she felt really bad and has been trying to get on better terms ever since, although at times she treats me just like she did when we were kids. This has been going on for the past 2 years, ever since she moved out. I still don't like her and haven't forgiven her for what she did to me. I haven't directly expressed this to her or my parents. Whenever I try to bring it up to my mom, she just tells me to get over it, and what happened is in the past. I find it hard to get over something that is still happening though.
I don't want to make her seem worse than she is. My sister rarely treats me like shit anymore, but I think that has a lot to do with her not being around a lot. I don't talk to her often but when I do she's really nice. We go to movies together and talk a lot whenever she's home from college. Every once in a while though, she'll snap and everything will go back to when we were kids. Sometimes I snap too. I've said things that I regret, and I know my sister has too.
I know my sister really wants to be on good terms, but I don't care to. I really couldn't care less if I don't see her for another 5 years. I still do care about her since she's my sister, but I really don't like her. It's a big point of contention in our family. Whenever my sister is around, problems start popping up left and right. My mom says it's because I'm holding onto a grudge.
So reddit, am I the asshole here?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9Vw2jrxwOkE7m7sZOLFxrW0nQxBdmKHU | a8h5v0 | {
"description": "keeping the money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for keeping the money? | Mobile. Forgive any formatting issues.
I was walking down the street today around 5:30 am and found a wad of cash on the side of the road in a ditch. I was shocked. I just picked it up and threw it in my pocket. There wasn’t a soul in sight. When I finally got home I counted it and it turned out to be 380$ USD. Am I the asshole for just keeping it? I feel a little bad because it’s around Christmas and obviously I don’t know who lost it. Maybe they needed it. But really how am I supposed to find the owner of 380$ in cash? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
3zMgBr67d0BqFmTt6GVqD4DFKzrkPaz9 | alaqtv | {
"description": "playfully scaring my girlfriend and lying about it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA For playfully scaring my girlfriend and lying about it? | I sometimes scare my gf for fun and to be closer. Closer as in more cuddly or affectionate. Like when you see a scary movie with someone and they sort of cling to you. I find it very cute and i like the intimacy.
Sometimes ill send her innocent looking videos with jumpscares. Sometimes ill hide around corners and when she passes ill jump out and "spook her". Or other times at night when she thinks im not home ill go in our backyard and tap on our bedroom window. She laughs it off but after the fact she will definitely cling to me like in a movie theater and we're generally much more intimate.
The point of contention is in my latest spook where ive been using a no caller prank app to call her phone and leave creepy messages and sounds. Like either just breathing or saying i can see you. She first asked if i was doing it when she started getting the messages because of my past pranks.
I wanted the prank to last longer so i lied and said no and kept up the calls for two more days, telling her her name and address. She was pretty freaked and was going to call the cops until i told her it was me.
Shes angry now because i lied but i think its pretty much just a harmless prank, maybe a little overboard with how long it was but harmless. Whose wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 17
} | WRONG |
wx1Ns44nxN9PSeakSB2gxDIJo7lihoFR | 9x74cz | {
"description": "kicking my roommates friend out of my car because she called me an Uber",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for kicking my roommates friend out of my car because she called me an Uber? | My roommates friend doesn’t drive and neither does my roommate. I do however, and my roommates friend asked me for a ride to the airport at 2:30 in the morning. I had work at 8 AM that same day, but she begged me for a ride so I said sure. I’ve given her rides all the time, because she tells me she can’t drive because of a medical condition.
I get up out of my sleep, and drive her and my roommate to the airport. On the way there, she says verbatim: “You’re my little Uber. Anywhere I need you to take me you do. You’re so convenient”. I slam my brakes and pull over, and tell her since I’m her little Uber, she can pay me or get the fuck out of my car. She starts laughing thinking I’m joking but I drive up to a restaurant and tell her she needs to get out. She realizes I’m serious and tries to apologize but I’m pissed so I open my trunk and take her bags out, and when she comes out I go back into my car and lock my doors. My roommate gets out too and they’re pleading with me but I drive away. Was I in the wrong? This happened this morning, and I don’t know how I should feel. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 28
} | WRONG |
iPlCspxo1gScKr3Q9tXVu13K1AWzDURX | 9w5ki2 | {
"description": "not wanting to share my food with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA For not wanting to share my food with my girlfriend? | My girlfriend (20F) and I (25F) are living in an apartment together and have been for a few months now. When I first moved in, I had to travel very far from where I lived with no job set up and a couple hundred in savings. I ended up not being able to find gainful employment, working odd jobs and bad hours for some time. For a while I had so little money I ate either rice and beans for a few days or did not eat at all. I did not ask her directly for food, but I did complain about the lack of it I had been eating. She fed me a handful of times, always choosing to buy me take out from a pricey restaurant, when I would have accepted any meal from anywhere. I figured she should have bought food from the grocery store and made it or have me make it because it would have been cheaper, but I kept my mouth closed because beggars can't be choosers, right? Eventually I found good, steady work, but not before I had to have her front me 2 months worth of rent, to pay my half. Last month, I finished paying her back, so we are even, but now our situation has changed a little.
​
She has started going to school, and is going full time while also trying to working part time. I say trying, because despite setting an alarm for 6 or 7 every morning to go to work before school, she turns off the alarm and goes to sleep until about 9am when she will then get up and get ready for school and skip work altogether (She is not in danger or losing her job, her bosses know the situation and are OK with her not showing up). Because of this lack of work, she is now struggling financially and often cannot afford to feed herself a healthy and stable diet, since she spends what little money she has on juul pods (and often a new Juul, too, because she loses them so frequently), cigarettes and gas for school and work. She also is planning on asking me to pay her half of the rent this month, meaning she would later owe me money (We've already discussed this and I agreed it makes sense, because we do HAVE to pay rent)
​
The problem I have been having is that she often eats the food I buy (she always asks first but I have a hard time saying no) and I will often buy food for a meal, cook it for myself intending it to be my meal for a few days so I can save money, but she will eat that, too. My problem is, I am making myself a pot roast tonight and I spent quite a bit of money on the materials (chuck roast is PRICEY) and I was hoping to be able to eat the whole thing over a few days. I preemptively asked her to not eat any of it, because its a nice treat for myself and it cost some money. She got a little upset and said its fair, but wishes I would share with her because she would share with me if I were in that situation. AITA for standing my ground and not sharing?
​
Sorry for the very long post. Happy to answer any questions to clarify any parts. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
JeKcSUqdi3Rs9INdPaDpE6uXIxPzj7kc | a8sylv | {
"description": "telling roommate I'll rent her room out if she doesn't pay",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling roommate I’ll rent her room out if she doesn’t pay? | At the beginning of our lease I paid ahead for 6 months and last week I noticed that my rent credit was now gone. After checking the payments on the website it seems that she’s skipped a payment or two without saying anything and I didn’t know because my credit had been paying it. Fast forward to today I get an email that says our full rent amount is due on the 1st(it should only be half because this is the last month of my 6). I ask her if she’ll be able to pay her half of the electric in addition to the full rent amount. She said that she could do electric but rent was questionable. Our landlord is very textbook and does not provide any leeway in regards to filing for eviction. Paying the full amount would be giving her another free month with no guarantee that she’ll be able to pay in the future. It’ll be the first month of the year and the school semester starts midway through it, so I know it would suck to be put out, but it also sucks to have to shell out money for someone else’s responsibility | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
eapkXP5gDpGyT1ZwSY365jZRnpftKq2m | avja30 | {
"description": "asking my friend to pick me up on her way to Disney",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my friend to pick me up on her way to Disney? | My close friend invited me to Disney for her birthday with a few friends. She initially asked me to come and "take pictures of her and her friends because she knows i'm a good photographer". Okay. Sure. But she didn't want to squish 5 people in one car, so I volunteered to take my own car and drive down, 4 hours, alone.
I got there before them to eat lunch at a hotel on property. I was suppose to meet them at the actual theme park when they arrive. My friend turned her "Find my friend" location on so I can see where they are.
I saw they were close to the exit, and I realized it would be dumb to take 2 cars to the park itself, and then to try and find them and meetup with them in a busy theme park would've been a little hectic. So I asked her if she could just pick me up on their way and I can go with them and we can all arrive together.
She lied and said "Oh we're almost there! See you there!". I checked her location, they were still on the highway, and still had to pass the hotel where I was. I called her out on it, she said it would be "out of the way" to pick me up. Another lie. I literally send her the google maps directions from her location to the park, proving I was on the way. She then said it would "take too much time from the day". I still don't know why she didn't want to just pick me up.
But she fucking bitched at me for "trying to ruin her day". She called me selfish, told me i'm inconsiderate, told me it's not a big deal to just drive my own car to the park. This incident happened a few months ago and was the start of just total hostility towards me from this group, and I can pinpoint it back to this incident.
I'm still trying to figure out, was I really the asshole? I know it was last minute to ask them to pick me up, for that, okay maybe i'm an asshole? But why was it such a huge deal? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3XjM0ljdyqwACynPwtVlRhiJvlllSPRT | b4lsqz | {
"description": "not chasing after customers who have forgotten wallets, sunglasses, keys etc in a restaurant when they tip me below 15",
"pronormative_score": 91,
"contranormative_score": 166
} | AITA for not chasing after customers who have forgotten wallets, sunglasses, keys etc in a restaurant when they tip me below 15%? | I’m a server in a sports bar/restaurant. Now when I come up to a table of mine that recently closed out, if I noticed they left something behind on the table like their sunglasses or their wallet, I always check the tip first before deciding what to do.
If they tip under 15%, even if I see you in the parking lot, I will take your item to the managers office.
Under 20%, if I see you in the parking lot, you will get your item. If I don’t see you, I’ll at least go outside in the parking lot to see if I see you.
Over 20%, if I see you in the park lot, you will get your item. If I don’t see you, I will try and find you and if I see you, I’ll run over.
Does this make me an asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 161,
"OTHER": 81,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 91,
"WRONG": 166
} | WRONG |
tXKWXmYeBpyMWhrO6evCf3BEFEmNKYv7 | b0wsxq | {
"description": "not maintaining a relationship with my ex despite always saying I would",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not maintaining a relationship with my ex despite always saying I would. | Me and my ex dated for most of uni until final exams. It was all going really well until during exams I noticed my best friend started becoming distant. I pointed this out to my ex (still my girlfriend at the time) because I was having mental health issues to do with uni stress and was looking for someone to vent to. (Before I go on I’d like to clarify that my ex has a history of mental health issues and I had always been nothing but supportive and helpful) My ex responded by telling me that she thought I was imagining it and nothing was wrong. During this time my ex and my best friend had also been getting closer friends to each other. Eventually It gets to the point where my former best friend is requesting I not be invited to parties and group hangouts because he didn’t like having couples around him because he’d recently had a bad breakup. (He was still inviting my girlfriend to these parties though) at this point the situation was getting pretty bad so I asked my girlfriend if she’d stay away from him because he was treating me like this and I think he’s trying to get to her, this did nothing but piss her off and so nothing changed.
Cut to a party about a week later. My friend is really drunk and I ask him why he’d been doing this to me, his response? “I’m super jealous Bro, Grace (my gf) is hot af and she’s super dope. I’m sorry I’m being a dick to you though” then he basically passes out. The next day I get home and I tell my girlfriend and she says he was just drunk and didn’t mean it. Over the last two months she hadn’t been at all supportive of my issues. She’d willingly participated in my best friend back stabbing me and cutting me out of my friendship circle, and she’d claimed that none of it was really happening it was just cause I had low self esteem. So I broke up with her. A week later I see her making out with ex best friend at a party. Later on I ask her if she believes now that he had a thing for her the whole time. Nope, to this day she claims he didn’t see her that way until after we broke up. (They’re dating now)
We’d always been friends for years before our relationship and always said that afterwards we’d stay friends. But given what she did idk if I can. I’ve lost all my friends because of that friend and because of her being totally unsupportive I lost her too. I’m heart broken but now she thinks I’m an asshole for betraying our friendship. So am I right? Was I the victim here? Or did I overreact to what he did because of his bad breakup, and it was ruined because of my overreaction.
TL;DR: Ex best friend cut me out of my friend group and started an argument between me and my GF of 3 years that caused us to break up only for the two of them to get together a week later and now I’m refusing to remain friends with her despite always saying I would if we ever broke up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
x7mSIyZ43wtoUsDa0wF08NwxAhKMf8SN | acnpmz | {
"description": "not wanting my mom to have my location at college",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my mom to have my location at college? | Im going to college soon and I have crippling anxiety about it since I’ve never really been on my own for more than a few days. The only thing that keeps me from a major breakdown is the thought that I will be more independent even if its harder on me and it means more responsibility. My mom recently dropped the bomb on me that she wants to have my location at all times. This isn’t new but she isn’t helping me financially anymore and I’m going to be 4 hours away. I don’t do anything wrong or illegal or go to shady places but the thought of her always knowing where I am fills me with dread. Am I the asshole for not wanting her to always know where I am? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uPkVbAtbNxNAvTtTMCBmXl8dXh4x31I5 | ahvdi3 | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to take me to work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to take me to work? | So, some of girlfriends’ extended family have gone on holiday, and they have asked my girlfriend and I to housesit their house for them, to which we agreed. Now their house is about a half hours drive away from my workplace. My girlfriend said that she wants to treat this as a holiday, and she took time off work for it. However, as I am quite short on cash, and I feel I have an obligation to my boss as it is one of the busiest times of year in my occupation and he is really nice and lenient with me, I said that I can still work once a week. However, I don’t have my license, because I am terrified of driving (working on my anxiety issues, I’ve got medication) and because I haven’t really needed it to be honest.
Now that the backstory is out of the way; my girlfriend said to me that she wants no obligations during her holiday a while back, and that she doesn’t want to have to take me to work. She said if she had to drive me to work, she wouldn’t agree to housesit. I talked to my parents about this, and they said “if worst comes to worst, we will take you”. I told this to my girlfriend and thus we are now housesitting.
The problem came a few days ago. My parents said that they don’t want to have to drive 40 mins to get me and take me to work, and then pick me up and drive me back to the house I’m housesitting. They argue that it shouldn’t be an issue for my girlfriend to take me, because we are in a relationship and you make sacrifices for each other.
My girlfriend says that it’s selfish of me to expect her to go out of her way on her designated holiday to take me to work, and that she did warn me far in advance that she wouldn’t have agreed to housesit if this became an issue. She also says that if she has to take me, I will have to pay for petrol, because she can’t afford it (because she is a bit of a shopaholic but that’s another issue which we are working on together). This sucks because I am on minimum wage and don’t qualify for student financial assistance because of my parents’ income, even though I get no pocket money and have to pay for everything myself.
My only other option is walking to the train station, taking the train (which costs money), and then walking to work, all of which takes 2 hours. I have to get back from work too. That’s 4 hours of commute for a 4 hour shift.
I don’t know what to do. Who is the asshole in this situation? Who should I be siding with? Am I the asshole for expecting this of my girlfriend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
2rUiZLvfRByF2zUE7SrT7V4WN8ifMa9u | b72q9a | {
"description": "not giving my mom a ride",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving my mom a ride? | Throwaway and mobile, so sorry for any errors.
I’m a bit conflicted over this, so I need any input. I graduated medical school last year and I decided I wanted to take a gap year before I applied to my residency program. In my country, you must be a license doctor before you can apply, so you can’t take steps as a medical student like in the US. From what I heard, the exam is crazy difficult and only a handful pass.
Anyway, I graduated in the summer and took a part time job for a couple months in the fall/winter because I wanted to save a little money before I went on full study mode and didn’t have any earnings. After some time, I quit because I really needed the time to study. My exam is the last week on September. My parents were on board with this idea and so I could save on rent, and I moved back with them.
My parents are both professional in their mid 60’s. My mom retired a couple years ago and now stays home. I love my mom, but she doesn’t do anything. We have a maid, so she doesn’t clean/cook or any of those house chores (i’m not saying she should, so don’t get me wrong). She loves to go have coffee at her friends or just be on the phone all day. She literally has nothing else to do. I don’t have any problem with that, except that she doesn’t drive... She knows I’m studying ~10hrs/day and she asks me to take her to random places. If i’m not studying, I oblige and take her, but sometimes I’m completely immersed and she wants me to take her. I know if i do, I’ll be stuck in traffic for at least an hour and I’ll start getting lazy and not study. Every time I tell her to wait a couple of minutes ‘till I take a break from study, she flips out and literally starts screaming and insulting me, even though I calmly try to explain to her that I’m trying to study, but she doesn’t get it and starts screaming even more.
Even though we have a maid, I still have to clean around the house, cook some times, look after my mom’s pets (she has 11cats and since she’s never home, I have to look out for them. God forbid one of them might sneak out on my watch), take my brother to and from school and stuff like that. The other day, she told me that I should’ve bought her a bunch of clothes from the money I made working. I mean, I bought her clothes, tennis shoes, and everything she asked me to, except for a particular blouse that I couldn’t find, yet she overlooks this and berates me for it.
I really don’t know what to do because i literally never go out because I have way to many things to study, yet I’m finding crazy hard to study unless it’s the middle of the night when everyone is asleep. I love my mom, but this is ultimately my future and there’s not a time where she won’t insult me for being busy and not being able to drive her around town.
So, aita here? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 10,
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B5zJqFNstohfFUVpICQPYc6jkPq04PJ2 | aiklj9 | {
"description": "not telling my husband about a person I had previously been with before him",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling my husband about a person I had previously been with before him? | Hello! Please read details. So my husband and I back at the start of our relationship told each other the amount of people we had had sex with. He told me his and I told him mine. I only told him the people I had vaginal sex with, but not oral (which is 3 other guys). TBH I just didn't really think that was important enough to mention and don't really consider oral or just fooling around to be sex/included in the number count.
Well we've been together 6 years, married for two and we have a wonderful relationship. I have been nothing but faithful to him and our relationship is basically perfect. I'm very proud of who we have become and how as have grown together and built a life together. HOWEVER, the other night while getting drinks with my friends and him, my friend decides to bring up a story I told her about a guy that I had been involved with a couple years before I met my husband. (One of the oral guys I had never mentioned to him)....well drunkenly, I might add, we start to tell the story. Now my husband has always been super cool about this stuff and we're best friends. It's a super funny story so I assumed he would think it was funny as well. He acted ok when we told him and didn't act bothered.
Well the next day we got into a huge fight about it because he said I lied to him for 6 years about my number. I told him I didn't include oral in the count and that I didn't think that the past really mattered anyway. He blew up and said that he can't trust me anymore and how does he know that I haven't cheated on him. I told him I have never and would never cheat on him. This was just something I did back when I was a stupid teenager that I really didn't think needed to be told. In a relationship some things are just better left unsaid. He's still mad.
But basically....he's mad because he said I lied about my count at the time that he asked me....and I personally don't think it matters. Yes I should have just told him every single person I had been involved with...but I also don't think he should call me a liar and say that he doesn't trust me and that I might as well have cheated on him after we have built this life together and we're both in our mid 20s now. I think he is overreacting. I'm sorry if I left details out that you need. Just let me know in the comments and I'll answer them. So...AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 11,
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"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BPxdFzCsyvdhX65geRJELDqm8vSZuDqR | ax9ql4 | {
"description": "expecting gratitude",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for expecting gratitude? | For context, my friend and I have drifted apart quite a bit recently and don't see each other as much at all anymore, but when we are together we get on very well. It's simply a case of us growing up and going our separate ways. We still occasionally see each other, but no where near as often as we used to.
So essentially, I invited him round to my house for a chill and a smoke (you know how it is) and he said he'd come but not until later as he was travelling back from somewhere. He asked if I could pick up some smoke for him and I said of course. He also asked if I could pay initially and said he'd give me the cash when he saw me later, to which I again said no problem.
So I go out to pick it up (for those of you who have done drug deals before, you'll know they're not usually quick, easy and comfortable situations and they do put you out a bit) and let him know I've sorted it. I didn't even get a 'thanks' in response; just a 'okay cool'. I know this isn't a big deal in any way shape or form and its not an issue worth bringing up with him, but it really gets to me when people who you've gone out of your way for don't show gratitude and I want to know what you guys think about it. On top of that, I'm picking him up from the train station, so it's not just one thing I've done for him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
QgyESzQuqnfByapy7ImHGLDU5u1spTp2 | acus5d | {
"description": "asking my Male straight friend who has a gf, if he wants to date me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | WIBTA For Asking My Male Straight Friend Who Has A GF, If He Wants To Date Me (Male) | I have this friend (M 20) who I've (M 21) known for 1.5 years. We share a lot of the same interests, we've had a great friendship, we go to the same college, and he's the most attractive guy I've ever met. I've fallen HARD for him, and I've been very conflicted on how to handle the situation, as he's Straight and has an ongoing relationship with his Girlfriend of 3 years. On one hand I don't want to push boundaries and make him uncomfortable, I really want to respect that straight guys can have gay friends and it doesn't always need to be sexual. But on the other hand my gaydar has been going off constantly around him and I honestly can't imagine he's straight. I've been trying to be subtle, and have been dropping hints for a while that I would be interested in dating him/having fun, but they either go over his head and he totally doesn't understand, or he just kinda laughs it off and avoids providing a concrete yes/no answer. At this point, I think he's using the GF as a "beard" as he doesn't want to come out as interested in guys yet, and I think he's into me too. I know I'd be an asshole for stealing him from his GF, but if he's genuinly not interested in her and just using her as a cover/for sex, is it justified? **Given the context and my "evidence" for him being gay, would I be the asshole if I finally went to him directly and confessed my feelings, knowing that he's said he's straight and has a long-time Girlfriend?**
*Evidence for him being gay:*
* In general, just his mannerisms/personality. He's a very muscular, masculine guy, super into cars and all that so he definitely doesn't come off as flamboyant at all. But he's also the nicest kid I've ever me (like WAY too nice for a straight guy) and there is just something about his personality that says gay.
* **Almost everyone says they think he's gay. My friends, my gay friends, people at school, etc. He's confessed to me that he's very self conscious that everyone thinks he's gay, and he's very annoyed/hurt that people see him that way.** ***Part of the reason I feel like it would be such a betrayal if I was direct with him about my feelings.***
* He wrote "I'm Gay" on his Facebook page when he was 14. It had no comments or likes, so I was like.. that's odd. I asked him about it, he brushed it off as a teenage joke and deleted the post.
* We were hanging out and smoking at my house, and he starts asking me all these sexual questions like how big my dick is, if I've ever had sex with a guy, do I like giving BJs, is it cheating to have sex with a guy, etc. etc. (I definitely didn't start this conversation) and after a while I'm thinking he's definitely looking to have some fun so I ask if I can give him a BJ and he flips out and professes he's Straight and definitely isn't into that. I don't push it, and he goes into the other room to sleep. I then get a text from him, we talk over text a bit, and then he asked me to come into his room, pull down his pants, and just ram my dick in him. I'm totally unprepared for this response (WTF), and I try to ask him if we could do some other things first like jerk off or bjs, or he could top me but he tells me he's not interested in any touching whatsoever. He just wants me to ram him, no foreplay or anything. Obviously, me being well endowed, and his virgin butthole not being prepared, that definitely would not have been a fun experience so I decline him.
* He says he's loosing interest in his GF and isn't as loving/romantic to her anymore. Was considering breaking up with her. I didn't even know he had a GF for like a year, he never talks about her or shows any interest in her.
* He Snapchat Bitmoji is in a freaking unicorn costume
* He knows since the beginning that I'm gay, but still sends me shirtless pics on snap
* A few weeks ago a guy on Grindr sent me $50 for my dick pics, and I convinced my friend to send his too for $60 (Win win, I finally got to see them too, and WOW). The Grindr guy then offered us $400 to send a video of me blowing my friend. My friend's response was "That's a lot of money. But I can't 😂" And I said "What do you mean you can't?", and he said "I can't 😂" Like.. there's a difference between 'I can't 😂' and 'no' right?? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
gkmYWYcjLbIIfdlwjDJzWuLCTuaQS2SQ | asd5ii | {
"description": "not ordering rice",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not ordering rice? | We're on holiday in a foreign country right now. I bought us dinner and asked what she wanted. She picked out 3 dishes and I ordered them all.
The guy asked me if I wanted rice, I said no thanks since I didn't want it and she hadn't asked for it. When we came to eat it she was upset that we had no rice to go with our meal. I explained I said no thanks because I wasn't bothered and she hadn't asked for it.
She said I should have checked with her when ordering, I assumed that if she wanted it, she would have asked when ordering the other dishes.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
MJ1k8hH4anW5Vv0b7LON4j5yHJTTqITF | aniim7 | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to my brother",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to talk to my brother? | Ok so, long story short, I've been dealing with (maybe mild) gender dysphoria all my life but just recently realized I'd be classified as non-binary. I thought I came out to my brother and mother (not at the same time) but they both dismissed it like not a big deal but I think that's mainly cause they don't understand what non-binary means or that it very much involves gender dysphoria. So I don't know if that counts as "coming out".
Anyway for the last year I've been having arguments with my brother, every time I saw him. I suspect this has to do with his recent interest on Jordan Peterson although every time I criticize the guy I'm told I'm "taking him out of context" and he won't listen to my opinion cause "I haven't watched a full (2hour) lecture of his" (even though he made me watch many videos of his but I can usually stand just 20minutes of the guy)
Anyway so last Christmas it was just him, me and my mother, who usually takes his side cause she has some pretty "conservative views". So as always, we got into an argument (I started talking about the Chinese government but as always we circle back to right vs left stuff). So the argument got pretty heated and the last thing he said was what got me good (as in "made me feel like shit"). He expressed his opinion on how gender dysphoria is a mental illness (with a mocking tone, as if it was something obvious) and I said that for people like him, transgender people kill themselves (which in hindsight was kinda mean, I should have said it was for that idea, not him as a person but anyway) then he said he was getting angry and I said I already was. So the argument stopped there and I left really upset. (What if he's right y'know?)
And after much thought I decided to stay away from him at least for a while. I came to the conclusion that it's not my responsibility to educate them nor should I stop living my life as I really want.
Fast forward to last Friday and my mom invites me to dinner. I thought we were gonna be just us so no problem. (Cause I decided I'm gonna pretend my mom isn't homophobic/transphobic/etc and not touch the subject again) But when I arrived I saw my brother there. I lied about having to go and left, only waving at my brother while leaving. I tried to compose myself and I think I succeeded for the most part, although I cried all the way home (I live alone 15 minutes away). So I thought "situation averted" right? Well when I arrived home my mom texted me telling me that my brother says I'm not talking to him and that's why I left" ( busted). I just told her yeah and that it's not a big deal (it's a huge deal). She told me that really hurts my brother and that she wants to talk to me about it and I don't really know what to do.
I feel horrible for everything, for my brother thinking that way, for making him feel bad, for even doubting my gender identity. I've been going over what I would say but everything seems like something that would hurt them to hear. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
98k2io8IepzyIhHWoMnpF0ZFG88kuB87 | b7boex | {
"description": "not wanting to help my father do certain mechanical work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA because I dont want to help my father do certain mechanical work? | To begin with context, I'm and teenager who is not so mechanically inclined and am closer to book smart. I'm in high school. My father is about 40 and we have an awkward relationship due to his old school way of thought and my booksmart way of thought.
This has been a thing for a long time now, but i feel really bad about it now.
As a kid he always wanted to take me fishing and hunting etc. and I never enjoyed hunting and such and always wanted to stay home. Now, I'm still like that as a kid and he is working on my truck. I want to learn how to work on vehicles since I'm your typical music nerd who likes to stay inside and a cliché introvert, however I just don't enjoy it. I know I need to spend time with him but its always awkward when I try to work with him
Specifically this morning he had to go put a wheel bearing on my truck and I had forgot he wanted me to help. I showered and all and he waited. I then remembered and asked him what he all had to do and said it would only take about an hour. Well, I kindly apologized since I wanted to stay home today since that's all he was doing to the truck and promised to work on the truck with him when he gets the rest of the parts.
I feel bad but don't think I should because I do love my father, its just the generation split (that I blame) for the awkwardness and I do not know a single thing about vehicles other than any other typical person. Am I the asshole, or at least an asshole?
(This is my first post, if anyone has any questions feel free to ask I'll try to answer them when I see them) | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
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} | WRONG |
ilceqvzdxn76PxOkXIQDTC0sMhAJNQzg | a8hm9z | {
"description": "not wanting to legally marry my bf to help him stay in the country",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to legally marry my bf to help him stay in the country? | Throwaway for obv reasons.
​
I've been with my bf for \~3 months now. He's an international student, and this is our last year before graduation. The problem is -- his visa is apparently toast if he can't get a job after graduation. He still hasn't gotten any job offers, and he's getting nervous that he won't be able to stay in this country once May comes.
So, last week, he brought up legal marriage. Just on paper. I mean, we wouldn't be marrying ONLY for him to stay here; I do like the guy. The problem is, I don't feel comfortable marrying someone I've only been dating for 3 months. Even if it's only legally, I feel weird. What if our relationship ends during our "marriage"? What about taxes, legality? I'm not familiar with all the rights he'd gain after we get married. Plus, my family would flip shit, and I depend on them financially.
Above all: we've only been dating 3 months, and we haven't even said we love each other. I know it's not a "real" marriage, but this is a big commitment, and I feel like it requires a lot of trust.
He pointed out that I wouldn't actually lose anything, and even if we don't work out, we'll just divorce and he'll go home. Which... I guess is true? We don't have kids, we don't own a house or anything. Plus, it would improve his entire life... I just don't want to do it... Am I obligated to get over my discomfort and help him?
​
tl;dr -- AITA for not wanting to marry my bf to help him stay in the usa? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 35,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CwimWDXr78wQugSixfy3LRefSvvKSt5V | afkfug | {
"description": "not wanting to pay for my girlfriends dogs surgery",
"pronormative_score": 85,
"contranormative_score": 69
} | AITA for not wanting to pay for my girlfriends dogs surgery | So a couple of years ago my gf (22f) moved in with me (23m) in my apartment, it is pretty small but OK for 2 people. I work and make decent money but nothing to break the bank, she works in mostly cash-in-hand pub work and therefore doesn't make a lot of money.
​
So about a year and a half ago my gf got a dog. Now I really don't like dogs because I was bitten pretty badly as a kid and had a kind of irrational fear of them. I wasn't scared of the dog she got because it was a small pug. I told her when she got it that I am not looking after it, I am pretty busy in my life and really don't have time or any love for this animal. I really don't like this dog living in my apartment but I love my girlfriend so I don't moan. The thing wrecks my head, the constant snorting and wheezing, the begging for food, the constant need for attention drives me up the wall. I use the "give a shit" scale with my girlfriend when deciding which battles are worth fighting, so these things don't affect me enough to argue about.
​
Soon after she got it, the dog started having health problems. As someone has never owned a dog I didn't realise that these animals had so much issues (I looked it up and its common for those breeds of dogs). Initially I thought its because she never walks the dog and it is stuck in an apartment all day with her, so any illnesses she gets she would give it to the dog. I looked this up online too and its a load of bullshit, essentially the breed of dog has so much issues because it has been bred to be mentally deficient so that they are "cute and docile". Thing is honestly one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. The dog has had surgery about 3 times so far and the money involved is insane. I have always refused to pay for them as I don't see it as my responsibility.
​
So down to the issue that has me and my gf fighting, the dog needs surgery on its face for some respiratory issues or some shit. She came to me crying saying she couldn't afford it but I said why did you get a dog like this if you couldn't afford it. She called me an asshole for not caring about her dog but I just told her to go fuck herself. She left the other day and took her dog with her, now she is staying in her parents house. I assume she will guilt trip her dad (who doesn't make much money either) to pay for the dogs surgery, she has done this before when I refused to pay. The other day two of her friends were texting me calling me a wanker and said they were going to tell people I abused my girlfriend. I am not worried about this because they texted me so I just kept the messages. But this did make me question a couple of things and what my gf said about me behind my back. Haven't broken up yet but feel it's inevitable.
​
Really I am just wondering who is the asshole in this situation? I don't know if the dog could die but I don't think it will, still I don't feel it is my responsibility to take care of it. Even though it lived with me for a year and a half. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 35,
"OTHER": 84,
"EVERYBODY": 34,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 85,
"WRONG": 69
} | RIGHT |
czlKW5Dzud0YmgeboSMmzQALyFM3Qqvd | a3n1b4 | {
"description": "opening the women's restroom door to tell my female co-workers the building is on FIRE",
"pronormative_score": 150,
"contranormative_score": 22
} | AITA for opening the women's restroom door to tell my female co-workers the building is on FIRE? | Okay, this will make a lot more sense after you've read this (duh).
So get ready because I won't make a "tl;dr" ;D
Backstory:
Two days ago my company installed new firealarms in our office building.
In January we began building a second office complex right besides
our main facility. That new building has no firealarms installed yet.
I later figured that you can't hear the alarms from the main building there.
We're also renovating the main building (where I & said co-workers work).
Since Monday the toilets in our complex are being renovated so we can't
use them.
Fortunately the toilets in the new building work fine, so we just go there
for now...
Enough backstory? Good.
--- Here we go... ---
So, this happened about 4 hours ago. I was working on my desk
and minding my own business when suddenly the firealarm went
off.
At first I thought:
"well, the firealarms were just installed, maybe it's just a minor malfunction."
However we took the alarm serious and evacuated the office building.
While we were on the way out I noticed that two of my (female)
co-workers (let's call them Abby & Shelly) were not in our "evacuation group".
I remembered that both of them went to the restroom literally 5 minutes before the
alarms went off. It takes a couple minutes to get to the toilets in the
other building so I figuered they'd still have to be there. Since there are
no firealarms in that new building (and there's only one way out) they
could've been in great danger.
There was no visible smoke or fire, which was good. I didn't see
Abby & Shelly on the way there or around the restroom so I opened the door...
Abby stood right behind the door and looked at me in shock, while Shelly
was washing her hands - she too looked shocked.
I told them without further ado that there might be a fire in the building
and the alarms went off. I also told them that we have to get out of there.
They both got very angry at me for opening the women's restroom without
any warning. And they kept telling me that on the entire way out. They said
"there would be consequences".
When we finally got out Abby and Shelly went for a group of other women
and told them "what I did". But the group didn't really understand why
they were so angry, after all, I only tried to help...
We all got to take the rest of the day off...
Moving on...
It turns out someone left the kettle (water cooker) in the break room on
which resulted in an electric bypass. The kitchen counter and some chairs
burned down. Gladly the fire fighters stopped the fire before it spread in
the building...
Anyways, if you've made it to down here let me know what you guys think...
EDIT: Can't believe this got so much attention.
So my boss phoned me this evening and told me "Abby & Shelly" spoke to him about the "incident". He too told me that their reactions were absolutely insane. He actually complimented my "bravery".
Thank all of you for responding to this post. That's why I love Reddit. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 149,
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"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 150,
"WRONG": 22
} | RIGHT |
XdIhbQ02WJCu7F7G2qBilDJxoErp7HyQ | 9vakdp | {
"description": "not wanting to buy all my own toilet paper",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to buy all my own toilet paper? | I'm 28F living with my boyfriend 26M for about six months, dating for two years. We're both very independent so living together was a bit of a bumpy road at first. It's gotten a lot better, but whenever I feel like all our issues are resolved, a new one always seem to crop up. This time it's about toilet paper.
I think everyone knows at this point that women use more toilet paper than men due to anatomy differences. I also am on a medication that causes some pretty unpleasant gastrointestinal side effects, so that also ups my usage. My boyfriend has noticed that the toilet paper is being depleted much faster than he was used to when he was living alone, and apparently this is *unacceptable*.
So, he wants me to start paying for my own toilet paper because we use more. Sorry, but I think that is horseshit. We make about the same (50k & 55k a year) in a not terribly high cost of living area. We're not balling, but we're very much comfortable. We split household expenses 50-50 and alternate who pays for groceries every time we make a big grocery run. And I just think that it's incredibly petty to single me out over *toilet paper* and make me pay for my own. He likened it to how I pay for all my own D&D and gardening supplies and he pays for all his own audio equipment, but it's not a hobby? It's a toiletry. And I am sure if I looked into it I would find things that I chip in on that he uses more of. It's not like I refuse to pay for his ice cream when it's my turn to buy groceries even though I don't eat it.
So AITA? Yes, I use more toilet paper than him. I will concede that it is significantly more. But I don't appreciate him acting like I'm sucking all his savings dry with having to buy more toilet paper. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fctqpP0LiPtPyTvJZJ5EDCHZE7v0J7F0 | aksdfu | {
"description": "'splitting' up the family even though it goes against a deceased person's last wish",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for 'splitting' up the family even though it goes against a deceased person's last wish? | Mobile... etc.
I had been living with my grandma but she passed away this new years, and I had been living with her during my college breaks. I was home for the break and working forty plus hours at a high stress job with unpredictable shifts. My uncle (who was the benefactor of some of her property) came in while I at work from a double and began throwing things away, somethings that were even my property. We're talking several hundred dollars worth of stuff and he said he would pay me back. He hasn't done that. Long story short, we got in an argument and he hired me a babysitter (I'm a legal adult) to watch me while I was there. (Fight was about me 'not clearing' my work schedule with him). I moved out and proceeded to be told that he would no longer be be following our grandma's wishes for some property that she wanted for me.
He invited our family members during this argument to watch and they proceeded to harass my stepmom before she had surgery. I told them that I would never speak to him as long as I felt I didn't need too and told them that my uncle had bullied me for years. (Lgbt isn't his cup of 'godly' tea) (he's upper class and I'm not, idk if that matters). I few days later after I left for college, they proceeded to harass me saying that I've split up the family and my grandma wouldn't have wanted this. I blocked all of them and their numbers.
Nevermind that half my family doesn't speak to one another. So am I the asshole for going against my grandma's wishes? (It was in the will that she wanted us all to along) | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
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blpUEeWuApm4elVOT9wGL2HiGWmdOlza | 9wntwi | {
"description": "not consoling the choreographer who mentioned her deeply personal issue out of the blue in the middle of a rehearsal",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not consoling the choreographer who mentioned her deeply personal issue out of the blue in the middle of a rehearsal? | I was trained to leave my shit at the door the second I step onto the dance floor. From the time class, rehearsal or a performance begins until we pack up and leave, I’m all about work. I can’t help but feel like I'm wasting precious time if say, small chit-chat turns into a 3-minute gab fest when we only have two hours to get the choreography down before showtime the next day.
The choreographer herself is a chatterbox, usually about trivial stuff, but I quickly learned to ignore anything she’d say that wasn’t related to the task at hand. A couple times I even started to engage in these trivial conversations with the purpose of interrupting myself just so we could get on with it (a useful tactic to cut the convo short without being the asshole abruptly cutting someone off).
At some point we took a couple minutes to block the space with chairs. During this time she was her usual chatterbox self. Then out of the blue, she mentioned that she used to suffer from anorexia. Then silence. The rest of us stopped what we were doing and looked at her. There was nothing she said a few seconds prior that segued into such a heavy statement. Her face was blank, so for a few long seconds, none of us knew how to react. Did she want sympathy? Was she feeling regret? Or was she casually just sayin’?
Finally someone said something to console her. Then someone else did. I did too, but in a half-assed way, not because I didn’t care. But because I was in work mode and destined to finish the choreography. In fact I remember while everyone stood around silent and awkward, I was the only one setting up the rest of the chairs. On top of that, I walk with a very determined, very heavy heel stomp, which in a very small, very echo-y studio, makes me stand out. So I probably looked like the total asshole who didn’t care.
I thought about saying something in private to her the next day after the show, but then she mentioned the same thing to one of the dancers who joined us last-minute. Same blank face from the choreographer, same reaction from the dancer. So I just ignored it.
Still, was I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kzsl3xJeQnVNd1ywSV20kjrkzAIyIvdW | a0b0sw | {
"description": "getting annoyed at my girlfriend for constantly falling asleep on me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for getting annoyed at my girlfriend for constantly falling asleep on me | Ok I need an outside opinion regarding this, my girlfriend falls asleep on me a lot, atleast 3-4 times a week. We do not live together so this happens when we are texting each other. So we’d be talking about something, sometimes important and sometimes not, mid convo she would just fall asleep. It just really gets to me, I have told her how annoyed it makes me and she just argues that it isn’t something she could control. The least she could do is tell me good night when she’s feeling tired and head on to sleep. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
Pfo0k3D64ZuK5LPz8tS8LIsHWFZTMi4F | b0lznq | {
"description": "telling my dad I wish he'd file for divorce with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my dad I wish he'd file for divorce with my mom? | Here's some context:
English is my second language, sorry for mistakes
My mom is very---ego centric. She loves to be the centere of attention and throw people under the bus when she's accused of something. She has a very hard time accepting any form of responsibility for her actions and doesn't allow me to have any kind of privacy. She'll peek into my room while I'm changing or snoop through my belongings and yell at me if she finds something she doesn't like. She tried molding me into the child she wanted. When i started becoming my own person, she started being verbally abusive. My dad is unaware and thinks we just don't get along.
She rarely pays attention to me or my dad for that matter. She's always worried about what her sisters are doing, despite them all being older than her. There have been times where she comes home from shopping and jumps right on her cell phone, not making me or my dad anything for dinner or even saying hi. My dad works very long hours and it frustrates me she doesn't make an effort to do anything with us.
She's also gotten into some pretty nasty fights with my dad over the years, all of which my mom started. I got caught in the middle of one a couple years ago and got a black eye. Unfortunately, domestic/verbal violence has always been an issue in my life and nothing will fix it (cps can't do anything), no matter how much they both claimed they changed. I can hear them arguing at night when they go to bed.
I don't know if they're still in love like they claim to be and it's selfish of me to wish they'd get a divorce. They've been married for 17 years, which is longer than I've been alive. There have been times were they genuinely did seem happy, but I'm not sure if i can say that anymore. I told him this weekend when we were waiting for the cable guy to show up that sometimes I wish he was divorced so I could feel less tension at home and we could move a few towns over to escape her family (that doesn't like him and I). He asked if i truly felt that way and I said yes. I've been their child marriage counselor for years. I just feel it's time they do something about their marriage and stop taking it out on me.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mxfi5XAr80PbZapRjD0HX0sLqQwC7eqf | ab1ep6 | {
"description": "being upset that my parents took $8500 without asking",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset that my parents took $8500 without asking? | I am a teenager living in Canada. I have worked very hard to earn and save $8500 over the past year. My parents messed up paying an enormous credit card bill, sending money to the wrong place. Without asking, they took the entirety of my bank balance, even though I was in the house.
A few days back I did offer SOME money, when they said they were having trouble paying their bill. I never said I would pay the entire bill just supplement what they need for this month, and I would have also worked out details before forking it over.
Had they asked me, I would have been reluctant handing over everything, but I still would have because I would know when it would be payed back beforehand.
Am I justified in feeling betrayed and disrespected? Or am I overreacting? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
THn5hNjOOqLnZlNqStvGqyH25J4VU6Be | awc0gm | {
"description": "lying about food to my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for lying about food to my boyfriend? | This is definitely a much smaller AITA than some on here, but its driving me bonkers. Context: I've lived with my boyfriend for over a year. He owns the house and pays the mortgage on it, but all other bills are split evenly... Except for groceries. Originally the plan was to take turns, which worked for a while.
However, its deteriorated to taking quick grocery runs just to grab what we need, and since I'm the one who cooks most often (I eat keto so its easier for me to make the food) I'll typically be the one who gets groceries for dinner that night. Also among my purchases are modified versions of favorite snacks that fit my dietary needs (like Atkins bars instead of regular granola bars, or Halo Top instead of regular ice cream), which are generally more expensive than normal items.
My problem is that my boyfriend eats all my special foods instead of the plethora of things in the house that aren't keto (example, he has his own ice cream but will chow through a pint of Halo Top). I asked him to stop and his response is that he thought "we shared things equally." I wouldn't mind as much if he occasionally bought these things, but he doesn't.
Recently I bought some keto approved snack cakes online and he immediately wanted some. I told him I only bought coconut flavor (he hates coconut). I actually got a variety pack. He caught me eating a lemon one and blew up about it because I lied to him, and we could have shared but I was being selfish, and that I was being a jerk about my food. I just dont wanna spend a bunch of money on pricey keto foods and have him eat them when he could eat regular food. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
JuwNn48xdO325c7N0dcZq6n3xZvYd41z | ajzr1n | {
"description": "not letting my friend take LSD at my house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not letting my friend take LSD at my house? | Hi all,
So this all started a few days ago when I discovered that there wouldn't be anyone in my house this weekend. I texted a friend of mine saying he could come to my place if he wanted and he said could he drop acid, I said yeah maybe.
Come Friday, he has invited 2 more people, let's call them J and S, and S is taking acid with my friend, let's call him A.
I realised I had a lot more schoolwork to do for Monday than I thought, and I have major state exams in a week. I told A that he can't hang at my place this weekend, to which he flew off the rail about, saying I can't just do that and that he only needs to go to mine for the duration of his acid trip. I told him calmly that my house is not a fucking drug den, and you shouldn't come if you only wanted to do drugs there. He was telling and shouting.
Afterwards, our mutual friends who were there said they thought I was in the right, and the A was out of line.
Now He is ghosting me and being distant. I an slightly concerned for his growing relationship with drugs, as is our whole friend group, as all his weekend seems to revolve around Is LSD.
So, AITA or not? He is not usually like this, and I really want to fix this because we are scheduled to go London together soon.
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
KpdItIoPWaC9e2uGrni7an1WfZB2h0zR | aija2y | {
"description": "not giving my mother money to pay off her debts",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not giving my mother money to pay off her debts | Ok so I’m 20 yrs old and I’m a plumber. I’m making pretty good money recently and I been spending almost all my money back into my company to further my business. I don’t really spend money on anything other than rent, car payment, cell phone, and internet. So my mother lives an apartment and is behind 3 months rent. I gave her $5100 to help her pay off her rent and other debts throughout the year. But recently I found out that she didn’t pay her rent debt or any other debt. She bought a new stove, washer and dryer and fridge with the money. There was nothing wrong with them cause my other family members are currently using them. Now she constantly calls me saying she needs money to pay her rent even though she spent the money I gave her. This has always been a problem with her once she gets money she spends it on luxuries not necessities. Anyways my family whom I rarely talk to. talk shit on me for not giving her money to pay her debts. I have the money but I don’t want her to repeat the cycle I’ve been seeing her get in. Like I want to help her but to throw away another $5100. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
gxZSRlcPdcSOdYKWgX3uoaMDBWiGJ8rC | b0rakk | {
"description": "thinking this was strange",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for thinking this was strange? | I (48M) have a friend (31F) who moved out of the area a while ago, but she keeps some of her stuff at my place and stays with me whenever she’s back in the area. I confessed to her a long time ago that I have feelings for her, but she responded that she only saw me as a friend.
I have another friend (M46) who is going through a divorce, and has been crashing on my couch.
She just got back into town, so now he’ll have to get a hotel room since I’ll need the couch and she’ll be taking my bed. She got in last night and the three of us hang out and they got into a very deep conversation about his divorce. When I reminded him that he should be looking for a hotel room she said it was too late at night for that and he should just stay here.
I said there wasn’t room for him and she said he could sleep in the bed with her, and that it wouldn’t be a big deal.
This struck me as really odd: I’m going to sleep on the couch while she sleeps in my bed with another man? One of my best friends no less?
She said it was okay because she knows he doesn’t have the same feelings for her that I do, that’s why he should sleep in the bed with her and not me. She said I was making a big deal out of nothing and to stop being weird.
So I slept on my couch last night but not really, because I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I don’t think they did anything, but it was just the oddness of it that kept me up. Is she right and I’m just making a big deal about nothing??? I really feel like I have to say something and insist my friend get a hotel room tonight, AITA for doing that?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
eyzgUUc07kQHfggQ4vsJowL3ySm2OwI5 | av5gxd | {
"description": "refusing to end my friendship with my internet friend",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for refusing to end my friendship with my internet friend? | I’m in my first relationship surprisingly, mostly because I have social anxiety and I’m very very shy and self loathing, so when my boyfriend asked me out I was elated.
Basically, we’ve been dating for a little more than a week since our mutual friend got us together, and he’s really sweet and nice though a bit hard to relate to since he’s popular and pretty confident. I know that my boyfriend has been attracted to me since 9th grade (we’re seniors now) though, so it’s exciting.
The problem is that, since I’m shy, I’ve only ever really had internet friends besides my two decent friends at school. Basically, one of my Reddit friends I got along with really well, and I added him on Snapchat and Twitter, which I only use to lurk since again, I don’t really have friends and my school friends and I only really hang out at school and text sometimes. I’ve been talking to him a lot since then, and we share a lot of memes and stuff, it’s fun.
My boyfriend added me on Snapchat and saw that I had a 267 day streak with my internet friend, and freaked out since my internet friend is the only one actively on Snapchat besides my last snapchats from about 20 weeks ago. My boyfriend asked me who it was and I explained that I met my internet friend a while ago. He asked if I’ve ever flirted with him (and I have) so I said yes, and admitted that we’ve mutually sent nudes back and forth a lot. My boyfriend got SUPER mad, even though I haven’t flirted with my internet friend at all since we’ve been together? I even told him that I have a boyfriend now and internet friend was all for it since he knows how I struggle to even just get friends.
I don’t want to drop my friend just because I’m in a relationship now, and when I don’t flirt with him he really understands me still, we have really fun conversations about our similar hobbies and he gets me a lot since he has social anxiety as well. I also know a lot about his life now, his friends, his family, his pets, and crushes and stuff so I’ll feel a bit heartbroken if I end our friendship, especially since I don’t know if my relationship will last. My boyfriend however, is insisting that I stop talking to my internet friend since I can just “talk to him instead”. It’s not the same.
So, AITA for refusing to end my friendship with my internet friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
oK7nQkdZvc8m6Fxy0gt2d5AbtBkBAP3Z | b0ru8q | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for no 'real' reason",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for breaking up with my girlfriend for no ‘real’ reason | Throwaway account because my girlfriend is also on reddit and regularly checks my profile. :)) (sorry for English&formatting, I’m on mobile)
This is going to be pretty long but it’s also a way for me to write down my feelings and share my thoughts to someone. So if you’re interested:
To start off, me [17M] and my gf [17F] have been together for almost 2 years.
From the beginning we had a very strong connection and the same opinion about pretty much everything. Stuff is great and we genuinely both love each other to the moon and back. We are both each other first bf/gf ever.
But since a couple of months ago I don’t love her like I used to anymore. And I’m not really sure why but I will try to explain the small things here. There is no ‘real’ reason, just a some small things and a strong feeling to brake up. (Which I can’t really explain)
I want to break up with her but I don’t know what to tell her because there is literally no reason to break up and I still care a lot about her.
My gf is the sweetest girl I have ever met and does so much for me that I cannot ever return. I had a hard time with my parents divorce and she was always there for me.
Now why I want to break up with her:
1. She is one year younger then I am and next year I will be in uni, which is only about 20minute drive from where we both live (Belgium is a small country) so we can actually still see each other a lot. However I will be living a totally different life in uni while she is still in high school.
2. I (tall dude of 1m95 or 6’4”) don’t find her that attractive anymore (physically). I used to be in love with her body, she is very “round” you could say in the ‘good’ places and very small (in length). (About 1m60 or 5’4”). This body type used to turn me on like crazy. She is however not skinny, which I previously didn’t mind but she has been gaining some weight in her legs and belly recently. We used to have a lot of sex but I’m kind of turned off by her body as of lately. She is aware of this actually and is exercising and watching what she eats but still, I don’t find her body attractive any more.
3. A lot of girls started showing interest in me. I know this is a terrible excuse to say but it is true, before her, I never had a girlfriend, never talked to other girls in a serious way. I am suddenly getting a lot of attention from other girls for some time and I would like to ‘experiment’ more in my life before I want a true partner for ever.
Lastly I want to say that I know for a fact that my gf still loves me like crazy and will not ever see it coming if I suddenly break up with her. Her friends always tell me how happy she is with me and it breaks my heart to hear that while I’m contemplating to break up with her for some little stuff she will never see coming.
So Reddit, would I be an asshole for breaking my 2 year relationship over this ?
(Sorry if not suited for this sub) | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nobW94bmABQR0ZRVmDnl7MtXTQHNjsXx | ba8nhi | {
"description": "getting mad at my gf for going to a sex shop with male friends only",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for getting mad at my gf for going to a sex shop with male friends only | My gf just told me that she wanted to embarrass her frie nds so when they (2 guys) offered to go to a sex shop, she accepted. Once there she checked out the panties while the guys tried covering their faces and were very shy. Also she told me she was thinking about asking the seller about what she needed for a threesome.
After she said that to me, I got annoyed and told her it wasnt cool. Now she is annoyed at me because she said it was funny and I don't know if I am an asshole for getting annoyed at her or not. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
giWKWlPCZH0Qyi1KymmSqL4RzoHCBxQ2 | b4d4gy | {
"description": "asking my ex's new boyfriend to pay for my dog's vet bill, since he's cat attacked my dog",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA if I asked my ex’s new boyfriend to pay for my dog’s vet bill, since he’s cat attacked my dog? | Backstory, my ex and I were together for 5 years. She had a dog prior to our relationship. Once we broke up, she gave the dog to me, because of her busy schedule. I’m totally happy with the exchange, I love that dog.
This week though I was pet sitting my coworker’s 3 month old puppy who is already bigger than my current 10 year old dog. I asked my ex if she would be willing to watch the dog this week, so the younger dog wouldn’t hurt the older one on accident. She agreed, but was hesitant because her Bf’s cat is a dick who actually attacked his mom’s dog and almost killed it. She planned to keep them separated.
One day before the dog was suppose to be returned to me I get a phone call. The mom (yes, my ex and her bf currently live with his parents). Accidentally let the dog out of the room. My dog has deep scratches on her head and neck. She was so traumatized that my ex asked me to pick her up and bring her home. She shook the entire night out of fear. Her pain doesn’t seem to be getting better, so I plan on taking her to the vet in the morning.
WIBTA to ask them to pay for the vet visit? I feel like it’s partially my fault, like I should’ve just kept my dog and the puppy and dealt with it. But at the same time how’d they not manage to keep the animals separated? The cat even tore the dog’s food bag to pieces. Not quite sure what to do. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
KNQBCTPhKJhHOddOijYid0RS5DE1XEP8 | b6lmdd | {
"description": "not wanting to walk at my college graduation",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting to walk at my college graduation? | I'm about to graduate with my bachelor's degree. I'm actually graduating a year early, so the expected schedule for ceremonies and whatnot has been thrown a bit off. After thinking about it, I decided that I didn't want to walk for my graduation (go through the whole ceremony bit, see some speeches, walk across the stage, etc.). My reasons:
1. I have a final exam the day before graduation, and I have exams semi consistently the week leading up. My apartment lease ends the day of the ceremony, and I'm moving to another city. This means that I can't easily move out before graduation day, but I do need to be completely moved by the end of that day. If anyone has ever been to a graduation ceremony, they know those things are LONG. From a completely practical standpoint, I don't know how I can both spend at least half the day at a ceremony and also have time to completely move.
2. My mom lives several states away and works in an education adjacent job (so May is a busy time for her too). She also doesn't have a lot of money to spare. She would have to find the money and time to come to something that I
3. Frankly don't care very much about. I care about the degree and I'm proud to graduate, but I also don't like my school very much and college has been hard and shitty for my mental health. It'll be good to be done, and I don't need to sit in an auditorium for 5 hours to prove that I made it.
4. Also, I don't want to spend the money for cap, gown, yadda yadda.
My dad feels strongly about me graduating. He was the first in his family to go to college and it was important to him that he was able to send his kids to college as well, so I knew that the degree in general mattered to him. However, I didn't realize how much the ceremony specifically mattered until I told him about my decision. He called me ungrateful for the time and money he spent raising me, told me to "suck it up and go", and said that it broke his heart that I had no gratitude at all.
I understand where he's coming from, but I think that this is my decision to make. I told him I'd be willing to do something else to celebrate (dinner, etc.) And that I get my diploma and officially graduate regardless of ceremony. I'm also hurt at the way he chose to immediately lash back (if you didn't want to spend time and money on me then you shouldn't have had a kid?)
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
4WD4Wl42OjtlGRUCNs3Olhbn9Q22EcHV | auokie | {
"description": "feeling like my girlfriend (essentially) cheated on me",
"pronormative_score": 102,
"contranormative_score": 46
} | AITA For Feeling Like My Girlfriend (Essentially) Cheated On Me? | My (now ex) girlfriend (Anna) and I had been dating for about 5 months when our relationship started having too many pointless arguments. One day we had a discussion as to whether or not we should continue dating but we were both conflicted because we were still in love despite the recent problems. Because of this, we decided to take some time to think, and planned to meet later that week to make a final decision.
On the day we planned to meet, I called Anna to see when we could talk and she replied that she was going to a party to get drunk and probably wouldn't meet with me that night. I asked her not to get drunk so that we could talk after the party, and she agreed. But sure enough, later that night she texted me saying that "The guys at the party say I'm too drunk to talk to you."
I called Anna and told her that I felt like she was standing me up, and that if I didn't see her that night than we were done dating. She insisted we weren't over yet and would talk another day, but continued to refuse to meet up. I told her we were done, said goodbye, and hung up.
I didn't hear from Anna the next day but that afternoon a mutual friend called me and told me Anna was "super depressed and scared." And told me I should go to her house to check on her. I went because I still cared about Anna and I was worried about her. When I got there Anna was crying and started hugging me and kissing me and telling me how she still wanted to be with me. She never told me why she was so depressed but I could tell I was making her feel better so I spent the next few days with her. During that time, we hung out, had sex twice, and mostly just enjoyed each others company.
Despite the fun we were having, the way she stood me up when we were supposed to talk really bothered me, so I finally insisted we talk about our relationship. During that talk, Anna never told me why she wouldn't meet up that night, but eluded that something happened. At that point I bluntly asked if she had sex with someone that night, and she told me she did, but not until after our conversation on the phone. (She didn't use protection either) I told her how hurtful that was to me, but that I wasn't surprised because she cheated on her last boyfriend. (Which is true) She got very upset when I said that and insisted she wasn't in the wrong for her actions. I understand that I ended things with her on the phone that night, but I feel like the way she acted like nothing happened when I saw her the following day, telling me she loved me and wanted to be with me, and having sex with me, was wildly inappropriate. Had I known that she had slept with someone else I certainly would not of spent the following week with her. She purposefully kept that a secret so as to not upset me and avoid making me not want to be with her. I ended everything with her after that. So, am I the asshole for feeling like I essentially got cheated on? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 96,
"EVERYBODY": 31,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 102,
"WRONG": 46
} | RIGHT |
3U09RqrwadX2Q4TQCt0ONjhuVr9dg14P | 9xlafb | {
"description": "dating a friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for dating a friend's ex? | Ill try to simplify this. So my ex gf of 4 years broke up with me and I was naturally going through a very tough time accepting the loss. About two months pass by and I begin to come out of my shell again and I became closer to a friend's ex. It was easy to open up to her because she understood my loss to a certain extent as she had gone through the same a few months prior.
I must stress that I had no intention to move on so quickly, but at some point in time we just ended up falling for each other. It was difficult to resist. Now here's where my friend comes in. Even though he was the one to break up with her, he started acting very toxic towards her because he didn't want to accept that she was done talking to him. He figured that he could put her through a rough break up and then go back to being friends willy nilly in a few weeks.
Because of her rejection his behavior became erratic around her, so when I started getting closer to her I found it very difficult to tell him about it because I feared how he'd react. One day he asked me to "force her into a room" so he could talk to her by force one on one. The dude even had the audacity to say "I've been having violent tendencies thinking about her lately".
Needless to say, his behavior was getting out of control and opening up to him about us was impossible. One day he found out and his reaction was obviously very upset. He doesn't speak to me anymore and has deleted me off all social media. The guy feels betrayed. Some of my friends started acting weird around me since then and some have tried telling me I'm wrong for breaking "the bro code".
I want to make it clear that I understand his feelings, who wouldn't feel upset in that predicament. The guy obviously still has feelings for her, but he tried to convince everyone he didn't care anymore. I really didn't intend for it to happen this way, i just landed here after a tough break. Maybe it started as a comfort zone, but it's love or whatever you wanna call it I guess.
Am I the asshole for dating my friend's ex? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6WIZ0Z13V6zzWhLslKa8Wj1QXs9ojFme | b496b9 | {
"description": "getting my friend a cat",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 42
} | AITA for getting my friend a cat? | Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
(I’m in mobile so excuse me for the poor formatting)
A few months ago my friends cat passed away. She loved this cat, it was her best friend of the whole world. She’s had this thing for about 10-12 years, it went with her when she moved out from her parents place and everything.
The cat was kinda cute, small fluffy orange thing. I don’t like cats, hate them. They’re nowhere near as loyal as a dog, they claw everything and everyone, littler box in your house?! No thanks. I much prefer dogs but oh well.
Anyway, when the cat died three months ago my friend was devastated, she cried and cried and cried. A week after the cats passing I asked her if she wanted to hang out but she declined saying she didn’t want to go out. I then asked her the following week but got the same response. A few days go by and I stop by her place, she lets me in and seems fine.
When I walked in I saw a jar on her shelf in her living room next to the tv, taking a closer look it was the cats ashes with its name, age and some weird message on it next to a photo of her and the cat. I was immediately weirded out by that, why would you want a dead animals ashes in your home?
She did get better eventually but it was clear as day that she missed the thing. Well, last month was her 19th birthday and I thought... why not get her a cat? I’m a good friend and it’ll make her happy so she won’t be as mopey. I stoped by the shelter a week before her birth and got a cat that looked something similar to her old one. By the time of her birthday I stopped by her house and her boyfriend was there. I put it in a box (with holes) and have her the gift. When she opened the box she starts crying. I thought I did something good. Clearly not. She gave the box to her BF and went into her room. It being awkward I left.
Fast forward a few days later I get a message from the BF saying how that wasn’t cool that I got a cat for her. He said something on the lines that she didn’t want a cat at the moment.
??! What?
I told him that it’s not like a person died. He didn’t seem to like that answer and told me not to come over for a while. I said I wanted the cat back but he said no, he’s looking after the cat. I paid for the cat, is she doesn’t want it then put it back at the shelter for someone who does want it. He proceeded to call me an asshole and a bitch.
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 42,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 42
} | WRONG |
V8JEZgauf2DVV3hlFX8CFL9tSu38vwCH | a5ylyp | {
"description": "refusing to buy my niece [o] an oversized teddy bear for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to buy my niece [6mo] an oversized teddy bear for Christmas? | She wants to get her a five foot tall stuffed bear, but I think that’s premature. Half of the fun of opening a gigantic teddy bear is for the reaction which A BABY cannot even comprehend! I’m afraid if she grows up with it, it will be treated like a decoration and she won’t actually play with it. Anyway she said I’m ruining the fun of Christmas, but I think it’s a much better gift for a 3-4 year old. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YMvfUVQcydAXJrRyQTWXXkGjOQ0RsveF | asvr96 | {
"description": "not finding Black Girls Attractive",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For Not Finding Black Girls Attractive? | I was talking to one of my female friends the other day and we're both 21, she was telling me what she likes in guys and I was saying stuff I preferred in girls and we were just having a drink and talking. I let it slip out that I don't find black women attractive and I wouldn't date one. She got super mad at this even though she's white and said I'm racist (even though I'm a POC) and said I'm a racist asshole bigot. I don't think all black women are ugly or anything, that would be racist. I just don't find them attractive and wouldn't date them. I doubt their missing much with me anyways LOL.
AIATA for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
g7u98lD2XWozETQlJXAqom1k6BsVx7Hg | b5eehl | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend I need to think about our relationship because she tries to tell me when I should/shouldn't see her",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend I need to think about our relationship because she tries to tell me when I should/shouldn't see her? | My girlfriend has been out of the country for a couple of weeks. The only communication we've had has been over text. I haven't said anything, but I think a phone call or something would have been nice. She's with her friends and I know travel is a whole different beast, so I don't expect much in the communication field. I've been nice and haven't said anything and have only encouraged her and want her to have a blast.
My best friend just got engaged and is driving 8 hours to come spend the week with me (we live in different states in the US). He asked me to be his best man and we have been best friends since we were little. The timing is not the best with my girlfriend coming back to town. He will be here tonight and she gets back tomorrow. She asked when I would see her and I told her that I wasn't sure with my friend being in town. She proceeded to tell me that it wasn't normal that I wasn't going to make time to see her. That I haven't seen her in weeks and that being with my best friend shouldn't matter.
I understand that I can hang out with them both, but I haven't seen my best friend in over a year and with him getting married, and also moving further away in August - I told her I wanted as much alone time with him as possible (he will be here for 4 days). I told her I would try my best to work something out, but that was not good enough for her. She told me that she doesn't want to talk and will let me know when she lands in America. When she said that is when I mentioned that I need time to think about our relationship. Keep in mind that this isn't the first occurrence of her wanting to split time with friends that visit me from out of town.
So, AITA for wanting to spend alone time with my best friend and not her after her trip out of the country? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
P4wux1ROTTVxdXsAM4SVdanpZgsM7Hns | akm0ky | {
"description": "calling out my transphobic friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for calling out my transphobic friends | Context: So I was friends with these 3 girls for around three years, they were friends long before I came in, and they ignored me/treated me unfairly compared to how they treated each other, but I always brushed it off. I recently came out as trans to them, and they've been transphobic and homophobic, 'forgetting' to use my new name and always lashing out whenever I called them out, listing off their gay/trans friends and saying it's hard to adjust, which I get, but compared to my other friends who take forgetting my name a lot more lightly and apologize and we joke and it's alright. But we were always sorta okay and had big ups and big downs up until recently.
We had to do a group film project with four other people, and two of the girls (let's call them Ashley and Kate) were in the group with me, and all was good.
The first problem was casting, when they gave my role to this rude dude James when he first mentioned that he might be interested in filling that role. The reasons they said I couldn't be that character (ex. I'd smile during a serious scene, Id laugh) all showed up in James as well, but without anyone saying anything.
The second time I saw a problem was much less serious, but still a bother. We didn't have 'assigned seats' but we'd have places where we'd usually sit, and people mostly respected that. Some days I'd find one of the girls in my seat before I got there, and I brushed that off, but there would be days where I put my belongings there, go do something in a separate part of the classroom, and come back to see that my seat was taken by one of the girls. I'd call them out, and the one who had the most problems with me (let's call her Peyton) would tell me that it's just a seat, and I should move (the other two obviously agreeing). And me, thinking I was overreacting, always did. Whenever they'd go off and do something, and I took their seat, all three told me to move, since it was just a seat, and I would. Small but important detail.
So fast forward weeks later, filming's done, everything seems to be calm, I thought "oh we're done with that, so I won't have to deal with that." I was completely wrong and this is where everything basically snowballed.
We were about to watch it in front of the class, and I was sitting at my seat next to Ashley and Kate for a while, I stood up, and not even four steps away Peyton speeds over to sit in my chair. I walk back, done with what I had to do, and asked her to move, since I thought she was joking around. She pulled the whole 'its just a seat' thing on me and since this was different from the other times, I argued my case. She wasn't budging so I just sat on the table, since it was before class. She was like "oh my gOD" and told me to stop being stubborn. Ashley and Kate backed her up, and I thought I'd lose this time. Eventually, Peyton stood up and left my seat, 'done with my crap' and I was like "cool thanks man" and I blink and suddenly James is in my chair. He tries to defend himself saying "you weren't sitting in it" even though he saw the entire scene go down. I just kept sitting there, and my other friend offered me food, so I stood up and went to go get it and when I came back James has put his arms over the desk to try to prevent me from continuing to sit on the table. He was on my last nerve and so, after many warnings, I sat on his arms.
Kate, who was previously sitting next to me just said "oh my God." And left to go sit by Peyton. Ashley was still in place and to the right of James, there sat an empty chair. All four of them were now yelling at me to just go sit in the chair, but I said "well why doesn't JAMES sit in the chair" and after refusing to move off James's arms, he moved and I sat down in my chair
After class they were all four mad at me, so I just left for my next class. Since I didn't have any other classes with them, I didn't have to talk to them for the rest of the day.
Later on the same day, I was given a pop figure and since I knew Peyton liked those things, I sent her a text saying "just got your Christmas present!" since this was in December.
She texted back saying "Thanks!" "Still mad at you though"
I sent out a "why"
Her: "The seating arrangement you had a problem with. The fact that you have gotten to sit next to Ashley for the past 3 weeks and I want to sit next to her and you flip."
Me: "It's not about the seats."
Her: "You even refused to sit in the seat next to that seat when James sat down" "The way you acted about it was childish" (I mean, the childish part was true, but I didn't say that.) "What is it about then?"
Me: "And it's about you guys not acknowledging what I say and treating me unfairly. And what James did was a jerk move."
Her: "He probably did that to defend me" (No he didn't, during the entire time I sat on the table he never mentioned Peyton or her being correct) and then she went on about how she thinks my other group of friends (who treat me a lot better and use my name instead of my deadname) werent a good influence and rubbing off on me in a bad way.
During this I was out and about, so after seeing that text I went back to what I was doing and didn't look back on my phone for a while. When I did it was revealed a shitstorm went down.
In my group chat with all three of them, we sent memes and joked, but out of the blue Peyton started sending screenshots of our private messages and calling me out in front of the whole group chat. I didn't see when she initially sent the pics, so Kate responded "hey, *my name* is in this chat" (which I guess means they trash talk me in group chats without me) and they started talking trash about me in that chat. So when I did read through the messages, I pleaded my case, bringing up all the stuff from before, and I tried to come to a good conclusion with them. After saying how they don't treat me fairly, instead of countering that with any argument, I look at my phone to see:
'Kate: "Throw yourself a goddamn pity party." '
And after waiting to see if Ashley or Peyton would say anything like 'that's not cool' with no results, I left the group chat.
This all happened on the day before winter break, so during the entire break I didn't hear anything from any of them, and for the first week back, we just never talked to each other, despite having to sit next to each other for 3 classes.
A week after that, we sort of got familiar again, I started talking with all three of them, albeit very light-heartedly, and I thought things were heading in a good direction.
Now, two of them have me blocked and I don't talk to any of them, except Kate since we are in student council together.
Not much I can do now, but I just wanted to know, am I the asshole here?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
sCB0s6hTKFzPTiljWVdoYLK7WA3CKIoA | abnb5e | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend to stop saying \"hi, beautiful\" to girls all the time",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop saying “Hi, Beautiful” to girls all the time? | Boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. IMO he’s a flirt, but he would say otherwise. He has a habit, for example, of saying “hi, beautiful” or “hey, gorgeous” to women. I pointed this out and he basically made a joke of it and was like “Well what should I say, ‘hi, ugly?’” And I was like you could just say hi! Or call them by their name if you know it!
He then goes on about how compliments make people happy and he’s just trying to be nice. He does always compliment people. But I pointed out that he rarely does the “hey [fill in the blank]” thing with men - only women. Like he’s NEVER said to a guy “hey handsome”. I pointed this out to him and he was like “well that would be weird”. Ughhhh.
Am I making a big deal over nothing here? Is it too much to ask that my boyfriend not call girls beautiful/gorgeous in front of me all the time?
I should also point out that we are a gay couple so that’s a big factor in why he doesn’t see any issue. Thing is though, I am his first boyfriend. I’m 25 and he’s 22 and before this all of his partners were women. So I think maybe he’s bi, but I don’t know. He doesn’t really identify as anything.
Thanks in advance for any feedback.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YAD62mqpwiv2Y9DnLFlTsMfVqYGTI12X | 9teq38 | {
"description": "stomping on a girls apple and making her clean it up",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for stomping on a girls apple and making her clean it up? | Im in high school and our cafeteria isnt big at all so we're allowed to just eat in the hallways or outside and thats what most people do. Today there was a group of girls who were very loud and annoying but thats whatever. They were kind of running around and throwing an apple around, which I didnt care, you gotta let all that energy out if you're just sitting in class all day. But then it rolled across the hallway and hit me. Id like to mention it hit me in the balls and I dont think she was aware of that. It was rolling slow so it didnt really hurt but it is an uncomfortable feeling to be sitting there and suddenly feel something tap your balls. Anyway I picked it up and she reached her hand out for it but I expressed my anger by tossing it down the hallway. They went back to playing with it and it hit me again lightly and this time not in the balls. This time I was pretty fed up because not only had that happened but they were SO loud. So when she came over to get it again I set the apple down and stomped on it and it exploded and made a mess. Then I told her "thats your mess, clean it up" and she did.
TL;DR a couple of girls were playing with an apple and it hit me twice (lightly but it was annoying) so I stomped on it and made her clean it up | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
CapNRUc4AO0koiiWrLtGLxoaGaUbXyGO | b75iws | {
"description": "assuming a guy was one of his \"douchebro\" friends and being rude to him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for assuming a guy was one of his "douchebro" friends and being rude to him? | This is very fresh and something I've been pining all over all day long because I honestly feel like shit how I acted. Thursday night is the big "party" night in our college town so a group of friends (all girls and our gay friend) went out to a club. We managed to secure a table in the back which is awesome because we had a place to sit down between dancing as well as set down our drinks.
We'd been sitting down for about an hour when the most obnoxious group of five or six guys sat down next to us. I can't even describe them because they didn't neatly fit into any one stereotype but they started getting super crude with us the moment they sat down. Some of the "greatest hits" of the night were telling our gay friend "don't stare at my ass or you'll lose teeth," telling me "you'd be fuckable if you smiled" and finally openly groping on of my other friends. Of course this stretched on for about an hour and they spilled several drinks, screamed, fist pumped, wrestled around like children and were just generally obnoxious. When they groped my friend, I went and got the bouncers who also got the police and kicked all of them out.
As they were leaving one of the guys came over and literally passed me a hand written note. I told him to go fuck himself. He said "please read it" and turned to walk away. I told him again to go fuck himself and threw the note on the floor. He told me that he was sorry for the whole night and turned to leave. I tapped him on the shoulder as the bouncer was behind him and told him once again what shit I thought he was. At that point he left.
As a joke one of my friends picked up the note and we thought we'd have a big laugh reading it. When we unfolded it, it had two $20 bills also folded on the inside. The handwriting was hard to read but best I can make out it says:
"Hey I'm so sorry for the way my cousin and his friends acted tonight. I am embarrassed beyond words. I am new to town and don't have many friends so I decided to see what the town is like. I will never make this mistake again. Please treat your friends to a couple drinks on me. PS. I think you have a great smile."
He didn't leave a number or anything so this wasn't some lame attempt to neg or hit on me and I truly think he was just trying to be nice and make up for his "friends." I feel like shit for not only telling him to fuck off but not letting him leave with his dignity intact but also throwing his note on the ground.
Am I the asshole here or did I just react to what I thought the situation was? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
AhQgYjMFHIm6ABMoRZmNxMhLQZwOfC0J | b4rlrg | {
"description": "not wanting to be with my family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be with my family? | So for some context my family went skiing/snowboarding with my cousins and their parents and I stayed home. Our cousins live about 20 minutes away so I see them about once a month.
So I get really bad what if thoughts in my head that make me have panic attacks and sometimes prevent me from going out with friends and family. After my family went snowboarding they decided to get me for pizza. I started getting really anxious and decide to play video games to calm me down. Since I had already played a buttload of games today my mom wanted me to get off. I tried to explain to her that I am anxious about going for pizza because I knew everyone would try to make me go snowboarding next time. She didn't listen and I went for pizza. Hooray.
At the pizza place everyone unsurprisingly started to say, "OP you have to go next time!" I just simply responded with " I really don't want to." They kept trying to convince me to but I kept saying no. Everyone continued to talk about snowboarding and it made me super anxious and uncomfortable. I looked worried so my mom called me over. I then told her I was really nervous and everyone took the hint and left the restaurant. So Am I The Asshole for getting everyone to leave?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SPgYul4mxXmohXdz6GhdGUW7CeH5wnIH | a0q5mg | {
"description": "not wanting to do charity work with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to do charity work with my friend? | Long backstory ahead.
My friend and I are both 3rd year highschoolers, everyday our school has a special classes for general work and activities, and that includes class competitions that we're both apart of. What the competition entails is bringing in the most food for your classroom and whichever has the most wins a special breakfast for the class. After all is decided, all the food the school donates is then given to charities.
My class is one of the two most competitive classes for this, and last year we just barely lost. The most common way to get food is to stand outside grocery stores and request them to buy the needed food. Last year my friend convinced me to do a total of four shifts, I hated it as we were standing in the cold at night for two hours, good cause but it was tiring.
My friend texted me asking where I was as he was just about ready to do the second, and I had no clue about it due to lack of communication. When I explained that I couldn't come as it was in the opposite direction from another friend's house I was at and too short of notice, he simply said 'Fuck you' and held that grudge for awhile after, ignoring me (The grudge lasted through the rest of the hours he would do until we cleared it up, understanding it was a genuine miscommunication on both parts).
Now to the point, he's been egging me on to do the service with him to get food donations for awhile this year. I haven't said it directly but I have shown I'm not eager to. I'm not in opposition to charity work in the slightest, but it was very draining and cold especially this time of year. And additionally I felt that he was being harsh last year instead of wanting to communicate with me when I was trying to and I'm afraid of it breaking out into drama with him again.
He said today that if I don't do the work with him, I need to bring in my own groceries to donate or he won't hang out outside of school with me. I can assume this means the silent treatment at school as well for at least a few weeks. I feel the need to state how this charity work shouldn't be used as a punishment against me, but for his own good intentions. I'm thinking of bringing my own groceries to donate, but if I do I want to make it clear that I didn't do it to remain his friend but actually take part in the charity work, not even for some stupid breakfast.
So AITA? Am I in the right to not want to do hours with him, and stating how I don't want to contribute out of his threats to our friendship?
Or should I just do the hours with him? Am I making too big of a deal out of what happened close to a year ago? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kmbkK3yAKeK2hI8CXlN399LSafgqEJnA | b8cnzz | {
"description": "unfriending people who are making fake sexual harassment claims against my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | Aita for unfriending people who are making fake sexual harassment claims against my best friend? | So, my best friend is a gay male, so he gets a lot of shit, but this takes the cake. My cousin doesn't like him, and she told the principle that he sexually harassed her. He never has touched anyone inappropriately without consent, and everyone knows this.
2 of my friends say that he did do it, and that he shouldn't be allowed to be close to any girls. I'm not even allowed to hug him anymore because if these people. I had a break down in math because if it. I've now stopped talking to them and have blocked them on everything.
Am I the asshole for cutting them out? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
8VKHBXLH6ClQTEjtKCeKlVCaToess5ir | aqqdrz | {
"description": "getting frustrated when my boyfriend asks who's that",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For getting frustrated when my boyfriend asks who’s that? | This is my first time posting and probably doesn’t seem like too big of a deal but today it just really got to me. (Also I’m on mobile so sorry about formatting)
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now and overall everything is great. He has some jealousy and insecurity issues that we have slowly been working on together and he has gotten better. However, something he does all the time (like every time my phone goes off or he sees me texting) he will ask me “who’s that?” Like every time. It’s always bothered me when people do that because my mom did it a lot when I was growing up and it just feels like a small invasion of my privacy.
The thing is I’m always texting the same 5 people. Either my family group chat for 4 close friends that I have had for years. Well, I know many people only do this out of habit and curiousity and not to be intrusive, so I haven’t brought it up with him that it bothers me. Anyway, today I get a text from my sister and of course right away he asks who I’m talking to. I’m already having a bad day and feeling tired so I almost snapped at him. Instead I took a deep breath, pinched my fingers and said “my sister, Babe”. This really upset him for some reason causing him to roll his eyes at me and huff off. I hate seeing him angry at me but honestly I never ask to see any of his messages or ask who he’s texting. This isn’t just asking either. If we are laying in bed and he sees a text he’ll ask what we’re talking about, look over my shoulder, and comment on our texts. I know all this stems from being cheated on and trust issues in his past but it still bothers me. Am I the asshole for getting frustrated when he asks? Would I be an asshole for talking about it with him? Also if anyone has any suggestions about HOW I bring it up to him in a mature and gentle manner I would love to hear them. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Q2PHe6yzJZtBpjWNZtGCJKWhljM7WVsW | b2rs52 | {
"description": "talking to our mutual friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Talking to our Mutual Friend? | A buddy asked me a fairly obvious question and I answer with an 'Isn't it obvious' kind of "Yeah?"
Well, he blows up at me and says "Fuck off bitch. Why don't you go to your fucking class?" I'm pissed but I don't know what I did wrong so I leave. I want to tell him to stop being a dick but maybe he's having a bad day.
We decide to meet up for a talk. He apologizes for that morning. We go on to talk about why it happened. Apparently he's been holding a grudge against me for 6 years. I don't even recall this event between us. He had asked me a question and I didn't want to give him the answer. This pissed him off and he's held it against me ever since. I don't know if what he said was true but he was angry at me.
He goes on to accuse me of always trying to undermine him. He says that come of my comments here and there are meant to bring him down. He says I'm not supporting him and that I always act better than him. He calls me a 'know it all' and says that I've never stood by him.
I have never once, as far as I recall, ever wanted to hurt him in anyway. I have never wanted to see him fail and more often than not, I took his side even when I disagreed with him in certain situations because I thought that was what I should do as his friend.
I don't try to demean people. I want people to come to me. I want to help people because it makes me feel wanted. So when he accused me of trying to bring him down, it angered me.
We talk for a little while longer and he tells me he never trusted me and that he wishes we weren't roommates or in the same clubs.
I feel used. I was just his crutch until he found other people.
I tell him how I feel and how I never once said anything to purposefully hurt him or bring him down. He doesn't seem to care. He plays on his phone while I talk. I bring it up and he puts his phone away. As I keep talking, he gives me those "Ehhh..." faces. I let it go because at least we're talking. I leave hoping things turn out better.
So, am I the asshole for giving off the wrong impression? Am I the asshole for still being mad when I think about how he was acting?
I'm eating lunch and while I look through my phone. I find his fb messenger and I see that we are no longer friends. I really want to tell him what a big fucking child he is.
Did he unfriend me after he blew up at me and called me a little bitch? That's not okay.
Or was it when I poured my heart out (I cried a little when I was telling him how I feel because it just happens. I don't know why.) and tried to fix our friendship? Did he unfriend me while we were talking and I was trying to explain how I never said anything to hurt him or was it after? Does it even matter?
Am I the asshole for ranting this about the fb thing to our other mutual friend who we are close to? Should I let his accusations go? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
t0RXwHkBGp7T0MDEPj40VH0rNbR9tOSk | aep9sk | {
"description": "not forgiving family sex offenders when I was not the victim",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not forgiving family sex offenders when I was not the victim? | Please be warned, as you’d expect from the title this gets pretty fuckin’ dark.
For a period of at least 4 years, my relative X (aged 16) sexually abused his younger sister Y (aged 8). The court convicted X of a slew of offences including rape, forced imprisonment, indecent assault and distribution of pornography to a minor. After 2 years in a facility for juvenile sex offenders, X, now aged 18, is in the process of being released.
Following X’s arrest, my mother and I found out that there is a history of sexual abuse on her side of the family that spans multiple generations. We’re basically Just Melvin, Just Evil.
In the 1970s, X and Y’s grandfather abused his son (their uncle).
In the 1980s, X and Y’s uncle went on to abuse his sisters, including X and Y’s mother.
X and Y’s grandmother was fully aware of the abuse in her family, but did nothing.
Over 30 years later, X was convicted for abusing Y.
X and Y’s grandfather died years ago and by all appearances that branch of the family remains close knit. Y is now 10 years old and the last time we talked she expressed nothing but love for her brother, X. X has been welcomed back into the fold complete with a cover story to hide where he’s been for the past 2 years and why he can’t have contact with his sister. The victims of the 1980s have forgiven their brother for the abuse and their mother for covering it up.
I declined to spend last Christmas with my family as I knew X (as well as his uncle and grandmother would be there). My mother and siblings did attend and had a great time, which makes me wonder if I’m being, well, an asshole. I’m in no way the victim here, and worry that I’m essentially judging them for having forgiven those involved which is the last thing I want.
AITA for wanting nothing to do with X?
AITA for wanting nothing to do with X and Y’s uncle and grandmother since his abuse and her failure to address it happened decades ago and they have been forgiven by their victims, who are now adults? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 40,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
GgCijwWeNuY9Uw2TybnirIiRx1TH2IlV | b0g32e | {
"description": "not going to a protest",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not going to a protest | There's a climate strike happening in a few days and my friend (lets just call her Jess) invited me to the event.
​
While we do support the cause, I had to respectfully decline because my boyfriend and I hadn't seen each other in a month and we had already made plans beforehand. When I declined, Jess asked why we couldn't just change our plans and instead meet at the climate strike but we agreed that we really didn't want to spend our day together at a protest.
​
Now Jess is upset at me and my boyfriend. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
q4njl5NuXdOlO8Q9PCIIlTsXqklkv4LQ | amy1wf | {
"description": "insulting my family",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | Aita for insulting my family | I had a box full of Oreos and i ate some and went to sleep and when i wake up i check if i have oreos but to my surprise there where 8 so i ask who ate them and my mom said that they all ate it,there where 13 left so i didnt care so i went back to my room then 30 min later my mom said that we need to go shopping so i get ready but the i see my brother eating my oreos so i got mad and yelled " WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EATING MY OREOS" the i go to see my bag with oreos turns out everyone took 3 ( there where 3 people and one took 2) so i was angry most of the time i bootle up my anger until i snaped the i yelled " ALL OF YOU GOT ONE BOX FULL OF OREOS AND YOU EAT MINE AND I GAVE YOU( pointing to my mom )SIX OREOS AND YOU EAT MINE I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALL ARE LIKE KIRBY YOU EAT EVERYTHING AND YOU ALL SUCK IF ANY OF YOU WORKED AT A RESTAURANT THEY WOULD CLOSE IN A MONTH BECAUSE THE FOOD DISAPPEARED!" The my mom got mad at me and got angery. Aita for getting upset? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
UEU2u1Vbl6PQvpd4BcHZf0JPiG0bbKAD | 9uy5nu | {
"description": "\"accidentally\" manipulating my dad into buying me a new phone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for "accidentally" manipulating my dad into buying me a new phone? | Ok, one day I noticed my phone was no longer functioning properly since the sides of the phone would have weird touch problems so I couldn't open the notification bar thing.
Anyways, I was pretty upset and I wanted to have a new one.
I called my mom, and she didn't want to pay for a replacement phone.
I became really upset, since I couldn't afford a good replacement phone with my own money.
Seeing this, my grandma told me to call my dad.
He works from 6 in the morning to midnight non-stop, sometimes he doesn't even come home.
I didn't want to call him since I felt a bit guilty about the incident, and since he's a bit of a cheapskate, he wouldn't really buy an expensive phone for me.
I told this to my grandma.
So my grandma called him and it went something like this:
"Your son's phone's not working."
"But he said you won't buy him a new one."
Surprisingly, he said yes. I think I accidentally emotionally manipulated my dad, since if he said no he would probably be pretty embarrassed.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dYbjYOq9EKih3sA1qOq2RuhyWxGVo23L | a28zj0 | null | AITA for saying no? | #A bit of background:
I am taking a photography class, and the teacher allows us to check out the class cameras, BUT if it get broken, lost, or stolen, I have to pay for it. I also have a couple of brothers (5 and 14 years old).
#What is happening:
Yesterday, I checked out a camera for an assignment. Since then they have been hounding me to let them have a turn. I let my older brother have a turn, and now my younger brother wants a turn.
#AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MGQbBvQ120vnswsfSiOVtr5RSIqiVxtm | asqdjc | null | AITA: The sound of my husband’s mechanical key board is difficult for me to put up with. | My husband plays PC games in our office on the weekends. Fine by me, couldn’t care less. I love my alone time. What does bother me to insanity is the noise of his mechanical keyboard. I am sensitive to ambient noises: chewing, clicking, certain music etc...
I brought up my issue with the noise with my husband and he blew up at me saying that I was making him feel guilty for doing something that is fun and important to him.
My side is that I feel uncomfortable in my home and feel like I can’t relax in our office (a shared space and arguably the best room in the house).
I would never expect my husband to give up gaming, but I’m doubting my ability to cope with an integral part of that activity. WIBTA for asking my husband to give up the keyboard? Are there some PC gamers out there that could recommend a compromise? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
h82KOr8M5IL3743BYFxM4b6ppl8hZFkg | aslmxb | {
"description": "not texting my friend after I had a breakup",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not texting my friend after I had a breakup? | I am 22(M) and had just been dumped by my boyfriend (27) - I will say briefly, we left with love and the situation happened due to self doubt on the other's part.
Shortly after, I told my friend (22F) about it, and that I would need space and likely wouldn't reply to messages for a while. I felt I needed to say this because my friend suffers severe anxiety and feels as if people hate her if they don't respond.
She said she was sorry for me and that she understood, but the next day she was texting me various things, but towards the end of the day she texted "Do you still want to be friends, or are you going to ignore me forever?".
I had no idea how to reply to that in my current state, so I continued to ignore it knowing she would continue to get worse if I didn't, but I just had no idea how to approach it.
Daily I would get a text pleading for a response, but it just became harder for me the more she said. Texts varied between "does our friendship mean that little to you" and "this is making my anxiety worse".
After two weeks she texted that she tries to support me when I'm upset and then she gets nothing.
I was annoyed at this as it is usually me responding to her struggles, and I keep my struggles private (would share with my then boyfriend, as well as psychologist, as I felt they could offer significant opinions, I did not share with her due to her being overwhelmed by her own life), this move striked me as manipulative, so I responded calling it out, clarified why I wasn't replying and why it dragged on for as long as it did, as well as why I was on social media but not replying (I was contacting a support group for advice, I showed her pictures of this to try alleviate her anxiety) I said it wasn't fair to rely solely on me for her happiness, and that it was unfair to expect me to always be available, when I'm currently emotionally not. I then pointed out she does the minimum, she will just say words so that she can say in the future she supports you, so she can expect support back, at this point she said she was hurt by what I had said, and she won't be seeing me again, and that friends don't get to pick and choose when they are there for eachother, and she again said she always tries to support me when I'm in a bad place, like a friend should.
After that we are no longer friends, I am doing better myself but was wondering about my own actions during this conflict.
Additional info: I live with Chronic pain, my symptoms onset when I finished High School, and this person is the only person who stayed in contact with me.
I had been experiencing more physical pain for a few months which the other person knew of, which requires rest and affects my mood and energy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SBcWovNrIPWQf0jwtQIGYM0jQVaJRoYU | aa8b8f | {
"description": "coming out to the family against my mom's wishes",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for coming out to the family against my mom's wishes? | When I came out to her as trans, she was very weary about it. She told me not to tell the extended family about being LGBT, especially the T. I'm out now to my dad's side of the family and like a third of her side, which is a lot more conservative. Her mother cannot know I'm trans or else she would be completely incapable of holding back her disapproval. My mom also flipped out on me when I got prescribed estrogen from my doctor for my HRT and refuses to use the correct pronouns and tries to imply that I'll end up changing my mind in the future. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WWWtSztB53clqQGLR1QcJMl12IRaevqq | a8yiby | {
"description": "flipping shit on a friend that lied to me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for flipping shit on a friend that lied to me | The whole idea was that I wanted to hang out with one of my friends. He said he was doing work, so I let the guy do his work (he was offline and we message on Discord) and I asked him again if he wanted to get on and hang out, and if he was done. (I assumed he was done because he was online.) So he said no, and told me to wait 40 more minutes. But, I had figured out that the guy was a straight idiot, because right when I said okay and waited 20 minutes, the whole time he was online on Discord, and Xbox. I found out he was lying the whole time and I flipped shit on him. I really was angry, until I got put on blast.
It all started with some of his other friends that were also my friends putting me on blast for calling him a liar because he only told "half of the truth." and that I could not call him out on it because he was supposedly doing work, talking to his other friend and playing xbox. They simply said
"He only told half of the story, you cannot call him a liar."
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
Rq9T2QUE51CejyuR1cPRAI6e11jqWuk7 | b9ix73 | {
"description": "going to a friends friends birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going to a friends friends birthday? | ive reconnected with my best friend about a year ago (we had a falling out that lasted a year or do due to me being a shit friend, but i literally try my hardest every day to regain her trust) & everything seemed fine. it was her birthday the other day & at it, i met one of her friends & we got along well, so much so that she invited me to her birthday party this weekend.
in no way did i ask, imply or anything like that for her to invite me, i even said "oh no, you dont need to invite me we just met!" but she insisted she wanted me to come & tbh, i dont have many friends, i love dress up parties & its just another excuse to hang out with my friend & meet new people (im 25 if this makes a difference)
obviously i told my friend & shes been acting weird about it. like when i asked her what she was dressing up as, she was like "oh i didnt know you were coming, thats fair" etc and is kinda just avoiding the topic. our other friend also got invited & as far as im aware, theres no issue with her going.
AITA for going to this party? am i overstepping a boundary im not aware of or something? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
D1YB8jMyPrnsDKu9Xx9Fbc64MB3741K5 | b0p888 | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend due to drug abuse",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA For breaking up with my girlfriend due to drug abuse | Hello guys, this will be my first AITA post, so bear with me if I don't follow the traditional format.
So be me, (20M) who is currently going to Medical school and have a girlfriend you've known since high school
Okay so me (20M) and my girlfriend (19F) have been dating for almost 10 months now and we both love each other very much. We tell each other everything(as I had hoped) and we always have each others back. It all started during around September (3 months into our relationship) when we used to work together (I won't disclose where we worked for privacy.) I noticed that shes been acting different and different around me. After weeks of trying to get her to open up to me, she comes out with saying something on the lines of, "I used to be a drug addict and I was afraid to tell you." I didn't react to much to it because she's no longer a drug addict and I was assuming she was a new person. I basically told her that It's okay because she's a new person and she should just move forward. At the time I didn't realize it but that was the first lie. Fast forward a couple months into the beginning of March (in between that part, she has been begging me to have kids and there has been some shit that I honestly should have left her for but I didn't because I was starting to love her too much, we both agreed to move on and apologize to each other about it) and her nervousness is becoming way too noticeable. Like shes shivering and she gets pissed off way too quickly. I had no idea what could be the issue, so me being the good person that I always try to be, I try to support her and tell her its gonna be okay. To my surprise shes told me that she never really stopped doing drugs. She said that shes been an addict even before shes met me. Its only now that she can't control her urges. Obviously I was upset because she hid something like that for months now and she has been asking me for a child for so long now while under the influence. I don't know about you guys, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that being on a severe drug with a child is not a good idea. She was very apologetic and was crying to me. I've told her I will do everything I can to support her. She has done a lot of things to me, some of them are unforgivable and I honestly don't want to bring it up. This was the thing that finally made me want to break things off. What should I do Reddit?
​
TLDR; Should i break up with my girlfriend who has lied to me for months and has been doing some serious drugs that could risk her life and a potential child.
**Would I be the asshole for trying to break things off?** | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
MvC7X7kUYQQIveeAj3cNdQg9uG67sylF | b157kk | {
"description": "not staying at a more expensive hotel, thus \"ruining\" the family vacation",
"pronormative_score": 44,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for not staying at a more expensive hotel, thus "ruining" the family vacation? | On mobile, standard formatting apology and all that.
A few months ago, my family (mother, stepfather, brother, and stepsister+husband+kids) decided we would take a family vacation to a popular theme park. I do not know stepsister very well (but i do like her and the family) and this is the first vacation we will be taking together. I made it very clear during planning that my family (spouse and child) would not be able to front $500+/night for a special hotel, but that our price point shouldn't stop others from staying at said hotel as we're all going to end up at the same place during the day anyway. We proceeded with some minor planning and i decided it would be best if my family stayed across the street in a cheaper hotel. I made that very clear as well.
As the vacation booking is getting closer, my stepsister and parents have decided they would like everyone to stay at the more expensive hotel because it keeps the family (especially the young kids) in one place, and expensive hotel is where stepsister and family/parents would like to stay. I told them i would love to, but we really can't make that work financially. I was pleaded with a bit, but eventually everyone backed off when i think they realized that no, i wasn't just being "stingy".
Yesterday, i received an offer from stepsister that her family would pay the difference so we could stay in the nicer hotel with them to keep the young kids together. The difference is at least $2,500. I nearly shit myself. $2000 is about what we're paying for the entire weeklong trip. I barely know them. I know they are well off, they've bought my child expensive gifts in the past, but certainly didn't expect this. It's clear this is a "no strings attached, we just want to have you come along" type of offer. I stammered a very polite "oh thank you so much, but we couldn't possibly accept" type of response and left it at that.
This morning i get a call from my mother who says "stepsister said they offered to pay for you to stay at super expensive hotel and you said no, so now we all have to stay at your poor person hotel so the kids aren't separated" (paraphrased, but know that is the gist of it and my mother is truly an asshole). I explained i was uncomfortable with accepting that much money from them, and that it shouldn't stop the others from staying in a different hotel. She told me i was "ruining everyone's vacation" and that i should be ashamed of myself. Spouse says that if the tables were turned, we would offer them the money as well and not think anything of it, so we should accept. I haven't gotten a chance to see stepsister (I'm seeing her this weekend), but I worry she will be resentful for making them feel like they can't stay in the nice themed hotel because we are not as well off.
Now my parents are mad at me, because i'm "too prideful" and apparently forcing everyone to stay at the Cockroach Inn where they'll be drugged and kidneys stolen.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 44,
"WRONG": 14
} | RIGHT |
OOUcYbIJkAHLfnd6CaBVVw0Hn3jzBn9X | aupasc | {
"description": "giving my GF shit about her Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 39
} | AITA for giving my GF shit about her Instagram? | So at the beginning of our relationship a year and 3 months ago, we discussed to each other what's wrong with our Instagram, and I complained about the people she's following (over 1k people) and eventually she deleted her account. There wasn't much wrong with my account since I only followed people I know in person etc (around 50 people) but I did uninstall it.
Recently we took a break for about a week and we both got Instagram back, her creating a brand new account and me using my old one. She started talking about some people she follows and I went to investigate. She's following exes of hers, people I told her not to have any contact with (because they tried to get in the way of our relationship or flirted with her etc) and again, a shit tonne of people she doesn't know.
Being the unstable, insecure guy I am, I confronted her about it and although she unfollowed some of them, she's continuing to follow most of the problems and got mad at me for doing so. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 39
} | WRONG |
qJIN7GuRz8uJbdBF2Vik59LfEj5bPTA8 | awkc5z | {
"description": "\"taking\" somebody's spotify account",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for "taking" somebody's spotify account? | This past summer, I remembered that there was an email account that I hadn't used in a very long time, I had difficulty signing in at first, but once I had reset the password, there were a lot of emails from someone using my email account. One of them was a one-month subscription to spofity dating back a few days before I had reaffirmed ownership of the account. Realizing this, I reset his password to something obscure, wasting his money.
AITA for locking someone out of their paid spotify after they stole my email account? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
raevBhUXW5sxDsGaQJFfrHFSd0hR3F4w | b0v26r | {
"description": "being a sk8tr boy near a church",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being a sk8tr boy near a church | So my friends and I were skateboarding around downtown, and we passed near a church and cut through a different parking lot, while I did have a speaker attached to me, it wasn't playing anything because we were talking. A few women got out of a car and started calling us disrespectful for merely being there for 10 seconds skating by. Not the most exciting submission here but AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
84kIpHM6L0jhxcjIC9Rzss6hX2hSh2y7 | b0wxql | {
"description": "not responding \"fast enough\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not responding "fast enough" | Someone replied to me rudely that i have "greeeeaaat communication" and that i am very unprofessional for not responding and ignoring them.
I put an add out for FREE photography and i never stated i was a pro, its just a hobby. Plus we NEVER set a date when we would meet
I told them id dm them when i know I'll be free and i didn't wanna dm them just to go "oh nevermind, looks like I'll be free in x days" over and over.
They said that "real photographers commit to sessions. They understand we have lives too. Its professional"
I didn't reply for a month | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
VEicovQf26G771rEOHhKFqjEavDm8JmN | a4pvy5 | {
"description": "not wanting this guy in my partner's dungeons & dragons group",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting this guy in my partner's dungeons & dragons group? | So my partner and I play dungeons and dragons (d&d), but right now we are in between groups. We had 2 interested people who wanted to join. As we were talking about it at our local hobby shop, this guy, let's call him Harry, over heard, and asked if he could join. I tried not to give and answer, but my partner, oblivious and excited to start a new group said yes without thinking.
Now here's the background on Harry, and why I really dont want to spend more time with him than I already do. Hes autistic. The autism isnt the reason why I dont like him, but it's an explanation for his behaviour. Harry gets very inappropriate, and tells really inappropriate stories at the wrong time. He once told me a story about his 8 year old cousins accedently analy fingering each other, with other people around to hear (for context I work in childcare, but I would never repeat those stories).
He also does some very attention seeker things, for example, placing a book on his head to get us to ask why it's on his head, so he can explain its priceless etc etc. His actions may also drive away the other 2 players, since they were very keen when we were talking about it, but looked very reserved when my partner agreed for Harry to join.
AITA for not wanting this guy in our d&d group for these reasons? I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, so I can understand how hard it can be to control your behaviour sometimes, but I honestly don't want to spend anymore time with this guy than I have to. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
qX1XltrW7o3Ptw4cU2wmZbOunvRNfY7L | axgu0m | {
"description": "feeling sad at first (and still kind of) when my friend of over 10 years didnt tell me that she is in her first relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling sad at first (and still kind of) when my friend of over 10 years didnt tell me that she is in her first relationship? | Lets call her Nina.
So a small backstory:
Nina and I are both in our 20s and met when we were in second grade. Life has seperated us for some time (we both went to different schools) but we still had close contact and went to the same school later on, where our friendship got really close.
So when I met my (now) ex Nina knew about it because I told her and she asked me frequently things, if we are finally together and so on, I told Nina about dates, everything she wanted to know just two girls laughing about such stuff and discussing.
A year and a half later we graduated from school and started to work, but Nina and I still saw each other frequently.
A few weeks ago, we and friends went out to party a bit. While I stayed with another friend at the bar, Nina and another friend went around, Nina said she wants to hook up with someone, just to win a bet (I already was confused by this behaviour because Nina always said she couldnt just make out with a person she doesnt know, but I still thought: Why not, when she is having fun).
Some time passed and me and my other friend tried to find the others, when we finally found them Nina was in the arms with a random man and I thought "Yes, she just won the bet, good for her!" But then Nina told the whole group thats acutally her boyfriend and that they have met last September and became a couple really fast.
And dont get me wrong, I am so happy for her that she finally found a man that meets her expectations and makes her obviously so happy! I also felt that when she introduced him to me, but I was still kind of sad, because Nina didnt tell me anything (I know she isn't obliged to do so).
Now I am at the point that I am of course more than happy for them, but I dont want to tell her when I meet someone in the future (it just seems wrong to me now and I defintiely cant explain why).
Tell me, if I am an asshole for feeling kinda sad. I really need opinions on this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yE0FyQ42O41j0uP48lLEvV0inJKK0vFX | aqww5x | {
"description": "asking my friend to apologize to another friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I asked my friend to apologize to another friend? | Last night, I was in a Discord call with two of my friends. Let's call them Dave and Guy. I'm playing Fortnite with Dave, and Guy joins the call but isn't playing Fortnite since he really doesn't like it. He's playing Smash Ultimate.
Dave is yelling in his mic because his mom is calling him from downstairs, and then Guy says something like "Dave tell your mom that she's a fucking idiot" and I said "hey Guy please don't be disrespectful", and he says something like "I can be disrespectful to whoever I want".
Later on, Dave's dog starts barking really loud, and he says "Dave control your fucking dog", but we were in the middle of a match so Dave couldn't really do anything about it.
Guy didn't really say anything mean to me, but I feel like he was being rude to Dave. Dave is a goober and can be a little annoying sometimes, which Guy really doesn't like, but Dave is two years younger than Guy and we're all in high school. Would I be the asshole if I asked Guy to apologize? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
EN5WhNzxtvndQlwRnO0lhh68XQKoJTsB | b28caa | {
"description": "snapping at an older guy who chided me for not wearing a helmet when skateboarding",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 26
} | AITA for snapping at an older guy who chided me for not wearing a helmet when skateboarding? | So, I (22F) picked up skateboarding in the last couple of months. I'm a beginner, so I tend to just skate at a smooth pace on empty streets and sidewalks (without a helmet), nothing too crazy. Recently, one of my co-workers (who is over 50) said it was cool, but then asked if I had a helmet. I told him I did at home and I just use it when I'm trying to learn how to ollie. He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a disapproving look. The following week, I was at an event when another older guy starts asking me about my skateboarding and my helmet to which I gave him the same answer. He kind of sneers at me, makes a comment how dangerous it is, but I just brush it off. I lost my cool on the train the other day when some senior male citizen looks at skateboard, made some compliment about it, but then asked how come I didn't have my helmet with me. Frustrated, I angrily stated, "You old guys need to giving a crap about my non-existent helmet! I'm a safe skater and can handle myself!!"
​
In my defense, I was just really annoyed how some people are intrigued by my skateboarding, want to make casual conversation, but then chide me for not wearing a helmet all of the sudden. I don't mean to make any generalizations, but it sounds like these people tend to be older guys that are too nosy and fearful of skating when they don't know me at all. So, AITA?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 26
} | WRONG |
MoomRVYeJW6W2NRfZtVQECCCKwyLnSX6 | a8i0td | {
"description": "refusing a second date because he was more out of shape than I thought",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for refusing a second date because he was more out of shape than I thought? | Last night I went on a date with a guy I met on an app who also had a few mutual friends. We got along great and ordered beers at the local bar. During the date itself, we got along great. We had similar college experiences and had good rapport. We told a lot of funny stories about school and life and we had a really good time talking in general.
We go back to his place nearby and watch my favorite show. I cuddle with him a bit and it was fine, but I noticed he didn't have the best breath. He then makes a move on me and I try to go with it. See, his face was attractive so it wasn't as bad for me, but I'm not super tolerant to bad breath so it was hard to get through anyways.
I had not had sex in months so I decided why not, and we do. The first time was with his shirt on, the second time he took it off. He was more overweight that I thought. Before, in clothes, he looked like the type that was just stocky but in the athlete way. I went along with it and I enjoyed the sensations, but struggled having chemistry with HIM. I felt bad. He also had to take breaks during since he did not have good enough cardio to continue for that long.
I'm a former athlete and my job still requires me to be in pinnacle shape. I have a hard time relating to someone who lets themselves go and have a hard time being turned on by non-athletic bodies for some reason. I've tried to override it and pay attention to personality, ambition, protectiveness, etc. a lot more, like other women do. But I could never get over physical attraction as a necessity. I feel bad about it because if I were a man I'd be labeled a shallow douchebag.
He complimented me a lot and said how he was glad I came over to spend more time with him. And on one hand I was happy to end my dry spell, but on the other hand, I regretted it.
He asked for a second round and I said no, I was tired. That was true, since I've worked out for 3 hours that day, but I didn't say that I wasn't feeling it. He said "please" and I shut it down again and grabbed my things and left.
Today he asked if I wanted to hang out again, and I said no. I mentioned it was weird he said "please" after I said I was too tired. But I didn't know how I should have went about this situation - not being attracted to someone.
AITA for rejecting someone because he wasn't as in shape as I expected him to be? AITA for valuing physical attraction and sex this much in a relationship? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
KtmeIQIo94gV3sx1kdVgfztJi4kcz23W | ak7soi | {
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to say \"no\" more",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for wanting my boyfriend to say "no" more? | Here me out, because this is a little hard to explain.
My boyfriend [M28] is a marvelous human. Like, jackpot marvelous. However, lately I find myself pulling away from him and wanting space because... he won't say no.
Whenever I suggest something? We do it. Whenever I invite him over? He comes. Whenever I suggest a date? We go.
He is never too busy or else wise occupied.
This seems dumb to complain about, but it seems like he has abandoned all of his hobbies to come hang out with me, which is sweet but... jesus it kinda feels like he is putting all of his worth into me, if that makes sense? He is so willing to just drop it all to come when I call, I feel a lot of pressure. He doesnt have any close friends he hangs out with more than 3 or 4 times a year.
As an example, I casually invited him over to my place tonight, but said "I know we have a blizzard coming tomorrow afternoon, so please dont feel like you have to, but if you come, bear in mind you getting back home tomorrow ." And he IMMEDIATELY says "Yup! Worth it [re. The blizzard]"
I'm flattered he wants to spend so much time with me, but it's kinda stressful. Does that make sense? I think he has some emotional attachment struggles based on his past, and I want to sit him down to talk about this, but I first want to know if I'm out of line.
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
txkeP3I1jy3EdBpg20dj1rUrKhhzvTFW | b6llcy | {
"description": "kicking a kid out of my group of friends because he is annoying even though he doesnt have any other friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for kicking a kid out of my group of friends because he is annoying even though he doesnt have any other friends? | So there is this kid who everyone in my school kind of messes around with and makes fun of. He had a nice conversation with my friend and sat with us at lunch one day. This caused one of our friends to have to sit at a different lunch table because he was there. I didn't really think much of it and I thought it was a one time deal.
He continued to try and sit with us and started to become annoying. Our normal table was being split up and for a lot of us lunch is our only time to socialize with each other. At our table we usually discuss politics and other hot button issues. However he would randomly burst into our conversation even though he knew nothing about the topic and only detracted from the conversation.
So I talked about maybe trying to push him out with some of the others in my group and we all had the same feelings on the situation. So when I tried to kind of talk to him about he would hide behind my friend. The problem is my friend is one of those guys who is to nice and won't be mean to anyone.
We eventually pushed him out because non of us could stand him. However I kind of feel bad because he doesn't really have any friends. AITA for kicking him out?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
IZdqMru1VxfieovQsm9NCWMYx0C8r3PS | akjs1p | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that I didn't want to hear about her experience being sexually assaulted",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend that I didn’t want to hear about her experience being sexually assaulted | When my girlfriend was in high school, she had a “negative sexual experience” with a “friend” that she adamantly refuses to even consider the possibility of it being sexual assault. If it wasn’t already clear, from the way she has talked about it, I would have considered it blatant sexual assault. Apparently it’s “not a big deal,” but she always wants to talk about it preceding, during, and after sex.
I’m so confused because sexual assault is actually *really* big deal, but she is so flippant about it. Maybe I am just misinterpreting the experience, but why would she want to relive and talk about it so much if it were such a minor thing?
Before we started actually talking about what we would like sexually, she would have oddly specific situational requests. It wasn’t like anything too weird, but —as you may have guessed— it was was an attempt to recreate the experience that she keeps talking about (this was before she told me about the experience, so it’s not like I was too stupid to connect the dots).
Obviously that got shut down real quick, but that was when the constant requests to talk about the experience started. I don’t know how to describe how wrong it feels to be having a sex with someone while they describe *in detail* what is essentially a story about them being raped as a teen.
Even after putting an end to that, she almost always wanted to talk about the experience at least once preceding/post sexual encounters. Admittedly, I wasn’t very communicative, and kind of beat around the bush by saying that I would prefer if we minimized talking during sex.
Last week, I finally told her to just stop, and I that find it really weird for her to try to get me to relive with her the experience of getting sexually assaulted when there are clearly unresolved feelings.
As you may have imagined, that went over poorly. She spent the whole day crying in a friend’s dorm. We kind of made up, but not completely. Additionally, sex is absolutely off the table for probably a very very very long time.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
DMnz4EdDSb8C4WBcktoCPq7OG3izxXUl | b87o4q | {
"description": "joking about my ex's dead dads name",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for joking about my ex's dead dads name? |
Okay I know the title paints me as the asshole immediately. So context,
me and my friends were all joking about our relatives names and our own names etc, I don't know how to explain it, we were not seeing people as inferior for their names just laughing about how names are and sound.
So, first of all, me and my ex are on great terms. We both are friends today and have no hard feelings, I had a pretty decent relationship with her father (before he passed), her family and all that, it just didn't work out.
So my friends and I are sitting there and making fun of names and then I said that her fathers name sounded a little silly, and my friends went quiet and said that I should just stop.
I defended myself saying it's not a big deal and, eventually I got a little frustrated and said that I'm just humanizing a person who is gone, and that you should be able to joke about anything and everything. Eventually one of my friends said that it maybe wasn't that bad but some of our friends perhaps doesn't like to joke about everything.
I felt terrible, because how my friends reacted and that I may have been a total asshole. So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 17
} | WRONG |
cRqB3lOITasB6Tpc35AZbqj8yUHNeSYb | ay0b2e | {
"description": "telling my therapist my friend neglects her kids",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 20
} | AITA for telling my therapist my friend neglects her kids? | I didn’t give a last name, so she can’t make a report. I’m just really upset by what I’ve seen. My friend always says she’s cleaning, but whenever I go over their place is gross (I mean food on the walls and dog shit on the carpet gross). Last time I went over there, I had to move because I was siting next to a container of moldy oranges and it smelled so bad.
But my main issue is with her kids. She has a 7 and a 3 year old. She’s very much a “tv is the babysitter” type of parent. Whenever they fuss, she just gives them a juice box or those Cheeto balls that come in the barrel. She doesn’t change their diapers often enough. I go over and both their diapers (yes the 7 year old still isn’t potty trained) are saggy and loaded, and she doesn’t change them for hours, even if it’s obvious they’re crying because they’re soiled. She doesn’t comb their hair, so their bangs just hang in their face and they have trouble seeing. She yells at them and tells them to go away and stop bothering her when she’s busy with someone. She’ll use drugs around them and not care, even after they were both born premature and both show cognitive issues due to her doing drugs during both pregnancies.
This has all really been bothering me lately, especially because I’m technically a mandatory reporter since I work in health care (we work in an old folks home). I decided to tell my therapist and asked her what to do. She wanted me to give their last name but I’m not ready to get CPS involved (I’ve seen them do good, but I’ve seen them make things much worse so I’m hesitant). Now my therapist is upset with me because I won’t give their last name and I regret saying anything.
AITA? I feel like if I wasn’t ready to do something about it, I’m not ready to tell anyone about it. I shouldn’t have said anything I feel like but it’s weighing on me so much I’ve felt sick to my stomach just thinking about seeing her at work today. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 20
} | WRONG |
cjX6ubIJV4HnNO3VpgaiC8pbCq0x0TZW | ap4zjh | {
"description": "breaking into my mom's house to retrieve my own stuff",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for breaking into my mom's house to retrieve my own stuff? | This has some background, and happened a while ago but I'm still wondering about it. It might just be an "everyone sucks here" kind of situation.
When I was 18, I was sent to the emergency room, and later a psych ward, for attempted suicide. Since it was a 911 kind of situation, I had pretty much just the clothes on my back, and my phone. No wallet, nothing else. The day after I was admitted (which was two days after I'd been brought to the hospital) my mom, who I was living with, came in to tell me that I was not welcome back in her house. Obviously, that sucks, because I had no ID, no money, no way of accessing my bank account, and most shelters and stuff need you to at least have an ID.
After time passes, I'm released from the hospital. I need my stuff, at least some of it. I remember that there was a window I would crawl into if I forgot my key before I was kicked out, so I go to my (former) home, crawl in the window, grab some things (my wallet w ID and bank card, my passport, some changes of clothes/underwear, etc.) Nothing that wasn't mine, and leave. (It might also be important to point out that I had been buying all my clothes since I got my first job at 13, so she didn't even pay for any of my belongings I took)
Mom finds out that some of my stuff is missing, and calls my phone to FLIP OUT. Screaming about how I broke into her property (which, to be fair, I did trespass, but I didn't break anything and IMO it was kind of essential for my survival) etc etc etc.
What happened afterwards doesn't really matter, I was homeless for a while, eventually got an apartment, am living a happy and fulfilling life now. But I've been thinking about this for a while, was I in the wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yV4OZXVMIEkTqgn7LK0PBmCtDYxHBsDz | b9j59g | {
"description": "lying on my resume to get a job I know I'm qualified for",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for lying on my resume to get a job I know I’m qualified for? | Backstory: Currently 23 and recently moved to a new area with my wife and I need to find a job while I’m taking classes. In total I have 3 years of customer service experience from age 16-19. After that I joined the military and just recently got medically separated before I got here.
After being here for two months I am still unable to find any work that I am physically able to do, including applying at fast food and other entry level positions. Will I be the asshole if I leave the military experience off my resume and sprinkle a few more months of customer service time on there so it looks better on the application? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
931YgDjyJBPYsCi4f5jdKaRgjvM9CYf2 | agtpp6 | {
"description": "making my friend used for sex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making my friend used for sex? | For context, we're both gay dudes.
We met around nine years ago when we were still in college and worked weekends away the same place.
I had no idea he was gay until we had to share a bed after a party, which somehow ended in a steamy makeout session.
After that, and after we stopped working together, we met around five times in the next five years and all those times but one we ended up having sex.
Nearly all contact was started by me. He's a very busy person and most of the times would take a day or two to respond. Also, not all our talk was sexual most of it was catching up with how the other was doing.
Come two years ago when I finally moved to my own place. I invited him over and yes, we banged. Since I didn't have curtains yet, wet made do with bedsheets. After the sex, I made an offhand comment, in my mind a joke, about how he had taken advantage of me.
A full year passed. I checked up on him a couple times, but he never checked up on me. Close to one yeast after I moved, I though of inviting him over, and messaged him inviting him over ending with "I already got curtains ;-) "
I got from this a long series of messages in which he said that he felt that I only seek him for sex, that I only contact him when I want an easy lay and that my comment of him taking advantage of me harry hurt him in a moment when he was feeling vulnerable and that he had felt I was taking advantage of him and then blamed him for what had happened.
Now, I admit that sex was a big part of wanting to meet with him, but considering that I was the one keeping us in touch and that he seemed okay with it all the previous times, I was thrown off.
I tried to explain that but I couldn't get it through. He finally left the conversation telling me to show my curtains to someone else.
At first I thought to wait a full year without contact and then message him showing him that without me making effort he would never keep in touch with me, but a couple months later I decided it would be petty and pointless, so I quietly unfriended him. I don't know if or when he noticed, and he has made no effort to contact me.
Yet, I feel I did something wrong, or at least something that hurt someone I appreciate, but I can't exactly understand what.
So... was I the asshole? If so, why? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
8hwZEy7dBN8XAyZfjftsFWAj0HgZXRFo | a8g7y6 | {
"description": "threatening my boyfriend with making cam videos again",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for threatening my boyfriend with making cam videos again? | Before this relationship started, I did a few cam girl sessions. My boyfriend new about it and decided to go after me anyways, but after we got serious he said I couldn't do porn anymore. I agreed because I knew it made him upset, and I'd do anything for him at the time. Keep in mind I only ever did cam videos on chaturbate where I just stripped and made mad money. And it was mainly for the money, but I can't say I didn't enjoy the desire from thousands of guys.
Fast forward in our relationship and things are going great. I'm under the impression there is no porn in the relationship though, so when he mentioned he gets off to porn I got extremely upset. I didn't lash out on him, I was just visibly hurt by it. The next day we had a talk about how it made me uncomfortable and his response was "every guy does it" "it's natural" and he refused to ever stop.
So I told him if he gets to wack off to all the porn he wants, then I get to do cam videos again. He got really offended after I said that and said I was being completely unreasonable. He said he would never allow me to do cam videos again and it is in no way comparable to watching porn. I told him watching porn makes me uncomfortable the same way me doing cam videos makes him uncomfortable. Well if he's giving his sexually energy to random women through a screen, I want to receive money and desire from random men through a screen. He's neglecting me and women like to be desired, so camming is a girls way of fulfilling that. Just like how watching porn is a guys way to fulfill his desires for other women.
I ended the relationship, so I guess he's an ex now. But I still keep thinking about this exchange and don't know if ITA? Also don't think threatening is the right word. It was more of a compromise I came up with so we could both do our thing. It seemed unfair to me that he could dictate what I did with porn but he refused to listen to my boundaries with porn. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 17
} | WRONG |
NSnciC3aeQ1sdBagcSuyPy0yotUpMlyq | anebq5 | {
"description": "telling my friend her boyfriend can't live with us anymore",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA if I tell my friend her boyfriend can’t live with us anymore? | My parents bought a house near my university so I live there with 3 others who pay rent. One of my friends has a boyfriend and she asked me if he could come live in her room with her. I said it was ok as long as he contributed to bills and paid a small amount to live there. He agreed so he’s been living with us for a few of months. Me and the other girls don’t like him though. He was fine when I first met him so I thought it would be ok but he’s gotten progressively worse and I don’t want him living here anymore. He’s rude to her, he leaves a mess everywhere, and he’s just not a very nice person.
I want to tell her that he can’t live here anymore. AITA if I do this? I’m gonna tell her that he has a month to find somewhere else. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
KC05AhHoqhlQyNXUi3AyhbA4RHUFM9Z8 | akz8w1 | {
"description": "not trusting my girlfriend anymore after lying to me and conveniently losing her memories",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not trusting my girlfriend anymore after lying to me and conveniently losing her memories. | Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for almost two years. She went to study in a different country and we only see each other a couple times in a year. A few days ago she didn't answer my messages until late in the night when she told me she would go to sleep. The next day I found out she went to the club instead and lost all her memories about it. When I ask her why she lied to me she tells me it was because of the alcohol, but I don't think alcohol can make you do that without a real reason behind it. She knows nothing about what she did, but somehow she does know that she didn't do anything wrong or cheat on me. I'm sceptical about this, because how can you be sure if you literally know nothing about your whole night.
She has always been a very loyal and trustworthy person and had no reason to lie about this, since I have been trying to motivate her to go more outside and do stuff with friends. I'm not mad at her for having fun and I want to trust her really bad, but first lying and afterwards somehow coveniently losing all memories about it just seems a bit too suspicious. I've brought this up multiple times with my girlfriend, but she gets mad at me instead for not trusting her and she suggested taking a break in our relationship.
So AITA for not trusting my girlfriend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
T0OiMDh5S6fgz8ExCHIwIK5EsxrXxYqV | b7x8di | {
"description": "disliking my trans friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for disliking my trans friend? | I am a bi male teen, This has been tearing me apart for quite a while.
TF stands for trans friend.
I met her at the beginning of the year , where she had not transitioned yet (she was very gay) and she approaches me and asks if I would go with her to homecoming (as friends) and it went ok, as I met some of her friends and made friends with them as well. TF is a very loud and extravagant person who is sort of an attention whore (she was a little more tame at the time).
Here's when things start going downhill.
As time passes, TF slowly becomes louder and just more difficult to tolerate. She just screams and yells constantly for no reason. I was sort of tired of her shit. She sort of does tons of annoying shit for attention and I really don't like being associated with them simply because muh clique happens to include her.
One day, I leave with a friend during lunch and when I come back towards the end of it two things have happened:
1) TF has come out as non-binary
2) TF wants to be reffered to as a new name, which happens to be a shitty pun based off her original name (which the clique made up on the spot)
I respect her decision to transition but I just sort of wait for the name thing to blow over. A day passes, still yells at me for slipping up at not calling her the correct name. After a week, still there. I personally believe she is just doing this fort attention and Im already pretty tired her shit so I go behind her back and sort of talk to 2 extremely close friends. One agrees and believes she is an attention whore while the other takes side with TF and calls me transphobic. I reply with something along the lines of 'im confused' and she says "well TF is more confused". I don't really talk to her for a bit and we sort of pretend that conversation never really happened.
Another person is the clique starts yelling shit on the group chat that both me and the first friend are transphobic, because apparently the first friend reached out to her and she responded with the same "she's more confused blah blah blah" shit. Nothing really happens, bc I don't really want ot break off from the friend group because I have some really close friends in there.
Two months pass and one of the people of the friend group and TF show up and ask if I can start using her/she pronouns for a week to see if TF likes them or not. Not knowing the intent, I say no and don't really think much about it. The next day, I found out TF is now female. I don't really like it but ok I'm fine with it.
sorry i can't continue much more bc character limit. she starts wearing really revealing clothing but I'm still nice to her but I secretly dislike her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
OhYjwLOci38n0A2ASKXAL097JpbPD53u | am3bbz | {
"description": "quit helping my mom at her store",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for quit helping my mom at her store? | A few months ago my stepdad gave my mom a store.
I agreed to help her at the start because she didn’t have money to pay someone. So she would pay me around $200 a month.
This past couple of months she started to go to my stepdad house in the middle of our shift and stay there for 1-3 hours. She goes every morning and almost every day around 2pm as well.
Two days ago she went to the house again, stayed for 3 hours and went to swim in the pool and posted pictures.
After that I had enough and said I wasn’t going to help anymore and just left.
AITA?
Sorry for English and format (mobile). | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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