id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
tRGoPd8HKFExn5LfekNp8nholMq2VpWY | any5n5 | {
"description": "not telling my boyfriend about a month-long trip overseas",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling my boyfriend about a month-long trip overseas? | I’m graduating college in April this year and my best friend of 10 years and I have always dreamed of going on our grad trip together. My boyfriend and I started dating about a year ago and in the past few months I’ve casually mentioned a couple of times how I’m excited to be travelling this summer (he knew we would be apart, this isn't the issue). To my memory, I’ve never mentioned who I would be travelling with- I hadn’t set any plans yet, just a vague knowledge that I wanted to do a month-long grad trip and meet up with friends in different countries.
He graduated a while ago and works a full time 9-5 with limited vacation days so we both knew travelling together for that long was never really in the cards. The past few weeks, my best friend and I have messaged a few times about our trip, very broadly figuring out when we should depart/return and shooting ideas back and forth about where to go. I hadn’t brought any of this up with my boyfriend as nothing we had mentioned was concrete.
Last week, he brings up with me that he’s incredibly unhappy at his current job (which he’s talked to me about before) and that he wants to quit and take some time to himself to travel, get some certifications, and look for a new job. He brings up that we should travel together. I realize he doesn’t know I had been wanting to travel with my best friend since we were preteens. I tell him this and that he’s more than welcome to join us as we’d be meeting up with more friends along our travels. He’s immediately upset that I’ve never mentioned this to him (I honestly didn’t realize) and he thinks it’s absurd that I had already “made plans” without him and to him, inviting him seemed like an afterthought.
From my perspective though, I hadn’t known he would be able to travel, and therefore telling him the ins and outs of our trip planning would have seemed like rubbing in the fact that I was going somewhere he wasn’t. I would obviously have told him once plans were a little more concrete, but walking him through the planning stages just didn’t occur to me as he already knew I would be going.
Now, when I try to bring up planning for the trip, he just says things like “whatever, just go without me”. So… AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UtM288tjmFCGljIEflbqa9pGzubN9jTm | ajkrbv | {
"description": "not wanting to order a bridesmaids dress online",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to order a bridesmaids dress online? | TLDR: am I the asshole for not wanting to order a $175 bridesmaids dress from a sketchy Chinese website?
Long time reader, first time throwaway poster, blah blah blah.
Dear friend is getting married. Initially the goal with bridesmaids gowns was to keep them affordable, which is awesome. Then things took a turn towards pricier gowns, which is fine-I signed up for this and want to be part of it. (Sincerely, I do.)
Then THE ONE was sent. From a site shipping out of Hong Kong with a whole boat load of bad reviews and over 500 BBB complaints.
I mentioned the numerous concerns I have about this site-the reviews, the no return or exchange policy, the fact that Chinese clothing sites aren’t known for their quality-and was shot down. I also asked what the plan B is if these dresses show up and they’re not as advertised. I’m clearly in the dog house now and I can’t tell if I’m the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GsfGUaK04EW0TsCibxlJJD12rsm7ICsf | ay6qzm | {
"description": "not cancelling my post work dinner plans with a friend I work with just because my girlfriend's great uncle died",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA (35M) for not cancelling my post work dinner plans with a friend (30M) I work with just because my girlfriend's (27F) great uncle(83M) died? | Last week, a friend (we'll call him Khan) and I made plans to grab burgers after work today. My girlfriend works 10am to 6pm and my friend I work 3pm to 11pm. I should note my girlfriend is not a big fan of this friend due to shady stuff he has done in the past but I've always maintained that he is my friend no matter what due to the kind things he's done for me and especially because I knew him before I met her. She knows I would never stop being friends with him and would not react well to any kind of ultimatum.
Anyways this morning my girlfriend calls me crying and sobbing from work saying her great uncle has passed unexpectedly from natural causes. She never had her paternal and maternal grandparents around and this gentleman and his wife filled that role in her life. She was especially upset because she was planning to visit him this weekend and kept putting off visit him the previous two weekends. I told her that it wasn't her fault and to spend the night at my place so she wouldn't be alone. She lives with her parents and siblings so typically when we spend the night together shell come over to my place. She sounded a little comforted and agreed. Usually if she stays over, she'll come when she gets off work and I'm home around 12AM.
Well after I started work, I let her know about my plans with Khan as I didn't think it would be a big deal to mention and didn't say anything about it prior. The latest I would have gotten home was maybe 1am, I could probably be home around 1230. She became extremely upset saying she needed me and was very upset about her great uncles death as it's the first death she's experienced of someone in her immediate family. She accused me of putting Khan first, something she has said a few times before, and asked me to reschedule my plans for tomorrow. I told her that I would still be home with her after getting the burgers with Khan and that it felt like she was forcing me to make a choice between the two of them. I feel she's just jealous of Khan and is manipulating the situation to make me sound like bad guy here. If I had said I'm going to McDonald's on my own I doubt she would have any type of issue with that. The argument got out of hand and I told her to stay at home for a while because I'm sick of her getting upset everytime I spend time with Khan which only happens every few weeks. Am I the Asshole?
TLDR;Girlfriends uncle died on the same day I happened to make dinner plans with my friend. Shes never liked my friend and I feel she is taking advantage of the loss to force me into cancelling my dinner plans. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
6WFsz6Y653DBgNo67w2eIonWHzlvC7Un | anwo65 | {
"description": "refusing to plan 2 weddings",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to plan 2 weddings? | I’ll try to be as brief as possible but there is some background info I think is relevant to understand. Also, apologies for bad formatting, I’m emotional and typing on mobile.
About 18 months ago, my parents announced they were getting divorced. My mum had met someone else and was leaving my dad. But the whole story was that my parents were swingers and in an open relationship for 10+ years. My Mum wasn’t really that into it and met someone who also wanted a monogamous relationship, so I don’t really blame her for her decision. My dad however spun a story of infidelity and betrayal. My dad and his family are extremely religious, so it was never allowed to come out that he’d been sleeping around for so many years. Only us kids knew the truth and we kept the secret, knowing my dad would be absolutely destroyed if the truth came out. My Mum is much stronger, and even though she copped a lot of shit for “cheating” and walking out on my dad, she took it and also kept the secret for his sake.
At the time, right before the divorce announcement, my long term boyfriend and I were talking about getting engaged. But when everything happened, I knew the last thing my parents could deal with was a wedding, so we postponed our plans. Fast forward 18 months, the divorce has been finalised, my Mum is still with the man she left my dad for, my dad also has a new girlfriend, everything is much calmer. I proposed to my boyfriend a couple of months ago, and we are planning to get married mid 2020. I wanted to give my dad time to get used to the idea that he’d see my mum at the wedding, as he’s been very angry and depressed and struggling a lot. My mum wants them to be friends, or at least be civil, but not my dad. He says he could not cope being in the same room as my Mum, that the pain is still so real that he wouldn’t survive seeing her.
You can probably see where this is going. So I ask my dad, “What about my wedding? I need you there”. And he pretty bluntly stated he won’t come if my Mum is there. I said I refused to choose between them when this is their mess and they’d have to figure it out but they both have to be there. But my dad goes on to say that there will NEVER be an occasion where he will ever be in the same room as my mum, including weddings, the birth of grandchildren, funerals etc.
So my dad asks if we’d consider having two weddings on two seperate days. One where he and his family are invited and one with my Mum and her family. He also offers to completely cover the costs for the second wedding (though I don’t think he even slightly understands how pricey weddings are these days, even on a budget.) I immediately refused because I don’t think he understands how much work goes into planning a wedding, it’s not just about the money. And one of them would still be the “real” wedding and how was I meant to decide who would come to which? But my dad has basically stipulated that this is the only way he can bear to come, because he won’t cope seeing her and he is worried they will fight if they are both there and ruin the wedding anyway.
I really don’t want to do two weddings, everything about the idea feels wrong, but my dad has said to just think about it and has somehow made me feel like it’s MY choice if I want him involved in my wedding or not.
AITA for not wanting 2 weddings even if it’d make my dad’s life easier and mean he can be there? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GlxZjfsFpnjD3Flm2pYFMqxqoRW6v4RQ | ab0k74 | null | AITA/ Am i the bully or are the bullies the bully ? | AITA/ I was getting bullied everyday until one day i snapped and began to fight causing injury to them, AITA ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
f68GEUxIjcUcOo0nD80S8kzB69lIwNbV | aj9a96 | {
"description": "accidentally stealing my friend's job",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for accidentally stealing my friend’s job (sort of)? | Okay so my friend (let’s call him K) and I have both been working at this caffe for a little over three months now and we are both exceptional workers. He mentioned to me a few weeks ago that he was interested in becoming shift manager when one of the previous shifts announced that he would be quitting. So he starts being friendlier to our head manager as a way to weasel his way into being promoted. Meanwhile, we are still both working our asses off day after day. K gets more and more responsibilities and I get access to our store’s Instagram via our head manager. So a rumor (eventually confirmed by the head manager herself) starts floating around that another shift is getting fired soon. Being a broke college student, I immediately get excited by the idea of a possible promotion. So I ask another shift (Lets call her C) what kind of responsibilities they have and the next day she (without me knowing) refers me to the head manager! So the head manager comes up to me and is like “Oh hey ****! C told me that you’re interested in becoming a shift manager! I think you would make an awesome shift, let’s see what kind of responsibilities you can start picking up!” So in summation, K, who has been working towards becoming a shift for a month now, is mad at me because our head manager has been favoring me ever since I (indirectly) expressed interest in becoming a shift a few days ago. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vkrrYWVE2JzHiPpllPYuqAlgEtyDF4Kn | asetoo | {
"description": "getting tired of massaging and cracking my girlfriends back",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting tired of massaging and cracking my girlfriends back? | My girlfriend since I met her has had a sore back and shoulders. We started going out long distance so I would massage her when she came to visit or I visited her. I would also crack her back. This just felt like normal relationship stuff.
Now we’re no longer long distance and I see her every day. We’re also about to move in together. Every single time I see her I end up massaging her shoulders and back multiple times over the evening or day. Cracking her back all the time.
It’s getting ridiculous.
She has seen a chiropractor a couple times and been for professional massages but going there regularly isn’t financially viable. She’s been told that if she worked out and strengthened her core, back and legs it would help. She’s made a lacklustre attempt at this and has actually put on more weight since and no muscle.
I don’t think I can continue doing this every single day but at the same time I love her so much and I don’t want her to be in pain.
AITA for not wanting to help her when she isn’t helping herself? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
CLGS72BQiH6kQRaB5JTzm50CEDgcp3zt | ad2iwv | {
"description": "sleeping with my friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for sleeping with my friend's ex | So I'm friends with this guy who we'll call Chris. While we we're good friends in high school, we now we live quite far apart, but we keep in contact through text and the occasional phone call, see each other when ever we're both in town, etc. Anyway, he dated this girl, Anna, for a year or so until they broke up - two years ago.
​
I was friends with Anna while they were dating, although never super close. However, recently I began talking with Anna again, and this even escalated to the point where we hooked up last weekend while she was in town. To be clear, I have never talked to Chris about this, and given what I know about him, I am almost certain that he would be upset - he has blown up about minuscule things in the past and likes to hold grudges. As a result, I've decided not to tell him. However, I was explaining the situation to a few people who know both me and Chris, and they all seemed to unanimously agree that I was in the wrong for sleeping with his ex - something I legitimately hadn't expected.
​
I personally think that, given the circumstances of their breakup, there is nothing morally wrong with my decision to sleep with his ex, given that they broke up 2 years ago. Additionally, while I agree that lying is bad, I think that it is okay for me to not tell Chris in this scenario given that I am protecting him from the truth. If he found out, both of us would be worse off. So reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
uSSPeGp34nH6vYoXvpDdBhKelqZcR000 | b8mrv2 | {
"description": "telling my roommate her boy had to leave",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | WIBTA if I told my roommate her boy had to leave | Roommate - 19
Me -22
My gf -21
So recently my room mate broke up with her boyfriend and since then shes kinda been on this downward spiral of bad habits.but shes constantly getting on our case for stupid things that dont even revolve around our roommate agreement like how long dishes can stay in the dishwasher and when we can run our roomba , that we have to have our t.v. as quiet as can be after ten o'clock when that's not even what the room mate agreement says. Now the RMA was my idea since I've had the most roommates and I've delt with my fair share of shitty people but this girl is starting to really tick me off with her entitledness. She doesnt do any chores around the house all she does is complain about shit and she barely helps out with utilities. But she'll text us about the dumb shit stated above. Anyways she has started having guys over yea guys random dudes that we dont meet and showers with them and then they end up "falling asleep and stayying the night on accident" she makes it seem all innocent like oh my friends coming over to watch Netflix or do homework. But I mean come on I'm not fucking stupid. I'm apparently an asshole for even considering telling the dude to get out now that I'm home after working grave hard shifts and such. My room mate lives in the loft above the living room she doesnt exactly have a door or a wall separating the living room but she put up a tapestry and she knew about this before moving in. But she is constantly taking over the living room and getting mad at me and my girlfriend for being up at like noon which is bullshit because our room mate agreement says loud noises can start at 1030 a normal time some one should be up in the morning.
My issue is if shes going to be acting like this then I should be in total right ti tell her no.more guys unless we meet them.and they need to leave at a time. The living room isn't a place you go to listen to a girl get fingered.
My girlfriend on the other hand thinks I'm being to much and our room mate who is an adult should be allowed to act like this with boys. And have them over. I just thinks shes missing the part of WE DONT KNOW THESE DUDES.
AM I the fucking asshole?
I'm not here at night .like i.said earlier I work grave yards and i just dont feel comfortable with a strange dude in my house when I'm not home.
Tldr: girlroommate is taking advantage of room mate agreement to have strangers stay the night with her in a nsfw way. I think her boys should leave before I'm home or I should meet them. My girlfriend thinks I'm an asshole for thinking this. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
dQ6RNq9DUqEa1ZRlBwuQwqgiBCh56JB8 | aa236g | {
"description": "getting annoyed at my parents for going into my bedroom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for getting annoyed at my parents for going into my bedroom? | I'm visiting with my parents for a month. It's nice to stay with them for a whole month, and they often share food and wine with me. No need to pay rent or even for laundry detergent. Thing is, they keep asking me to clean my room and make my bed (I'm a somewhat disorganized 27 y o) and I suspect that they go into my room on the premise of picking up cups (water cups I drink out of and leave on my nightstand, no leftover food or rotting meat sitting on plates that can be smelly- I'm no animal.)
It makes me uncomfortable that they go into my space when I am not home. It's nice to stay with them and I dont want to be ungrateful, but it feels like an invasion of privacy and like they are sneaking around to do it. I leave in four days but I dont want this to happen every time I visit with them. Maybe next year I'll visit for a week and stay with friends. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
CAbEoEYH596v0yzoaNwNn4W685uI9VBZ | b5xzwt | null | Aita or is my teacher the a-hole | So in class we made clay monsters i worked really hard on and we were glazing them and when I was glazing I accentually drew some that looked like a penis and if removed it would of messed it up so I just said I was done placed it down and my art teacher said “you can’t keep this” I tried to explain what happened she did not Believe me other kids drew penises on their monsters mine just happened by accident and I’m mad at the art teacher for not letting me keep it | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
nO3wiSd8riJtnaD9557kvtRXm7ngnASQ | b8fkfv | {
"description": "asking my roommates gf to stop using my bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 98,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | Wibta If I asked my roommates gf to stop using my bathroom? | I just moved into a home with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths where I rent a room. Although I have my own room i have to share a bathroom with another roommate. The other two roommates have their own private bathrooms inside their bedrooms.
One of my roommates (who has their own private bathroom inside their bedroom) has his gf spend the night literally every day. She has a key to the house, she’s here when her bf (my roommate) isn’t all the time, & uses the “common areas” frequently, uses the WiFi, electricity, kitchen, etc. I don’t care about any of that tbh.
My issue is that she keeps using my bathroom. I already have to share it with another roommate but idk why she won’t use her bf’s bathroom solely. This causes issues mostly bc she uses my bathroom to shower & etc in the morning when I need it to get ready for school. I also have a disability that causes me to use the bathroom more then normal.
Would I be the asshole if I asked her to stop using my bathroom & showering in it? & instead asked her to use her bf’s bathroom inside his room? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 89,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 98,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
A7bXpaewTzYBGSvlOsFxVUTerZjCENws | 9wfjea | null | AITA for the way I broke up with my ex-boyfriend? | So I had been dating this guy for a few months. We shared a lot in common and made each other laugh. There were no major issues to speak of. Never had an argument or anything like that. We were both university students in the same city, and spent a lot of our time together in dorms snuggling under the covers, watching movies etc. Exam season was coming up and I decided it was best if I remove myself from distractions of the big city and go back to my hometown (two hundred miles away) to revise and study. I had been a bit of a party animal that year so I was quite worried about my prospects of passing the year. My BF, who stayed in the city, was a little bummed out that I would be gone for over a month, but made sure we had a good time the night before I left.
We kept in contact everyday via fb and whatsapp. This started off fine, but after a couple weeks the conversation started to get a little tedious, which is natural I suppose. At around the same time, I also met another man at a bar in my hometown and we became further acquainted with each other. I am naturally a people person, so there was nothing out of the ordinary for me to make new guy friends, but I did notice myself getting unusually closer to him. There isnt much to do in my hometown, so I would see this guy quite often and I could tell he was developing feelings for me. After about 10 days of getting to know him, he made a pass at me. He knew I was in a relationship and I told him no and that was that. My BF must have noticed something was wrong because he was asking me why I was a little distant in our fb conversation. I told him I was busy with revision stuff and worried about failing my exams (which was true). I told him that I really like him, but perhaps we should call it off for now as the distance between us was an issue and we will both be too busy with uni stuff to see each other for a while....after that it would be summer holidays and we wouldnt be in the same town for another few months so it made sense to call it quits. My BF was a little confused and asked if there was another reason for me wanting to take a break from the relationship. He even thought I was messing around with a uni friend, but I told him that was absolutely not the case. He didnt seem convinced, but he accepted that it was over anyway.
Once I broke it off with the BF, I did in fact later get with the man in my hometown and we began dating. My Ex tried to stay in contact and wanted to meet up over the summer, but I decided it was probably for the best I not see him again. I also didnt tell him I was in a relationship. After 6 months of being with my new BF, I posted on Facebook about how its been a great 6 months with him. I then got a message from my ex who noticed that we were still together around 6 months ago. I then explained to him that I had met a guy while we were still seeing eachother, but that I didnt do anything sexual with him until after we broke up.
He was not happy. He said I cheated on him and that I was dishonest and not a nice person. I protested that I didnt do anything with him until after we broke up, but he wasnt have any of it. My ex said I was ignoring his messages while gallivanting with some other guy and then lied about the reasons I broke it off with him. He was also upset because he thought I was leading him on by not telling him I had been dating someone else. I dont think I did anything wrong as I didnt do anything with my new BF until after I had broke it off with the ex and I didnt feel it was necessary to tell him about every development occurring in my life. He called me a piece of shit and deleted me off facebook, which really hurts as I always try to be nice to people.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 30,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 30
} | WRONG |
idu0xvIzqBo2cnGwGMfoagdQPOQMy5xq | b5g5ff | {
"description": "keeping my friend's family from contacting him",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for keeping my friend's family from contacting him? | My (26F) friend's (30M) family is attempting to contact him about a bill for a storage unit that he failed to pay off (\~$700). His mom payed the bill and is threatening to have his stuff auctioned off and keep the money.
My friend struggles with bipolar and drug addiction and the only means of contact they have with him is through me as his phone is turned off at the moment due to his inability to maintain a job due to his mental health and lack of stability. He's attempting to get help with his bipolar and addiction through counseling with a local behavioral health center. I've known him and his family for over 20 years and am very close with his mother, sister, and step-father, and know from the way they've spoken about him and their experiences with the lethal combination of mental health and addiction that the way they've been trying to get him to seek help all these years hasn't been productive.
He has a history of emotional abuse and neglect from his mother and he loves his sister but she seems to mostly go along with what his mother says. It's been really hard to build up his self confidence and get him to a place where he feels like a normal person- if only some of the time. At first he was hesitant to trust me, I think because I was suggesting the same route as his family (to get help) but I feel like I'm finally on the way to gaining his trust.
One hurdle to this is his family is always calling me to get in touch with him, and I feel like every time I see him and mentions that his family wanted to get in touch with him it pushes him further, so I've stopped mentioning when his grandmother calls (she tears him down every chance she gets and lays on the guilt pretty hard). His sister (who was my childhood best friend and still continues to be) only really calls me to talk about him. I know she cares about him and only wants what's best for him, but I think her opinion of what that is is discordant.
So about the storage unit: He's been behind in paying it off and asked his mother for help, which she initially blew off. He was resigned to let everything in there go to auction when mom payed the bill and got the keys. She wants him to pay her the money or she's going to let all his things get auctioned. His sister, who called me today and relayed all this to me, is trying to get in touch with him to find out if he wants her to get anything for him while she's searching for family treasures.
I don't know whether I should tell him the situation because I'm afraid he 1) won't be able to handle the stress of his mother's pressuring and 2) will want to go to the unit and get all of his things- that he doesn't have storage for, and come under more stress.
​
Thanks for reading. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GzbKiTdHmEZHlUMKeiwOPtiKcsdZ1Z7C | ajnnw9 | {
"description": "not letting go of things that my brother did many years ago",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting go of things that my brother did many years ago? | I'm 20 male and my brother is 18. Basically many years ago I used to be bullied verbally but never physically in high-school, I didn't have friends and was alone most of the time, being told that "no one likes me" whenever someone gets upset with me. Which was probably due to my lack of social skills and inability to relate to them, also I do believe my personality back then wasn't fun to be around, so all these added onto me being segregated. The thing is, when I was in year 9, my brother entered the same school as me in year 7, and he was pretty social and already had a friend group on the first day of school. I was excited because I finally had someone I can actually be friends with, but the thing is, pretty soon my lil bro caught on about my status in school, and he wasn't friendly with me at school, just ignored me, which I understood, because he has his friend group and it'd be like some yr9 kid playing with yr7s, weird. Anyway things didn't really get much better for me, but then at home whenever we got into disputes or arguments, or whenever my brother was upset with me, he used the same line, "no one likes you, you have no friends." Which kinda hit me hard, and there's nothing I can say back to him when I hear that. It's like a "finish him" move in mortal kombat, haha. Well anyway, it kinda hit me hard that not only did I have other people against me, but the one kid I thought who would be with me, was against me. He became a bully in his sort of way and im supposed to be the older bigger brother. This continued for a few years. My parents always told me that I should learn to tolerate words, because they're just words and that in life there are gonna be people out there who are bullies and that I should learn to handle it. So whenever he said anything, I just had to ignore it, but it just hit me every time, and it affected my mental health.
​
That was years ago about like 7 years ago, but I hated him ever since, and I avoided him, just doing my own stuff. But over the years he had changed, he stopped being an asshole and he's far better than he once was, but still I don't like his personality because he is all about himself and is selfish and just plain rude. And he did apologise once, when I brought it up to him before, but then he proceeded to say that it wasn't fair that I was keeping something that happened ages ago over him, and that I should forgive him. But quite honestly I just can't, it's not like I hate him or anything, and we do interact a lot, but idk his attitude feels like he isn't sorry at all for what he did, he acts like it never happened and doesn't show any regret.
​
And it took years for me to recover from my depressed mentality which I believe he and school had caused, but last year I finally felt like I was no longer depressed. And that's probably when I should have let it go, but honestly, I just don't like him, and my family expects me to be all brotherly with him and forgive him. But I just can't.
​
So am I the asshole for not letting things go, for not forgiving him for something he did when he was just a teenage kid that took years for me to recover from? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
80mHPJaF4kLXyHhCVFdRUM5G2D9XYDPJ | alam1e | {
"description": "wanting to go for a thru-hike alone, without my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to go for a thru-hike alone, without my girlfriend? | Recently I've developed a good interest for backpacking and camping; hiking trails. In my excitement I've told my girlfriend about my plans, which involves hiking around 10-15 miles per day for a couple of days strait in order to finish a section of a trail I selected.
She was excited about the idea, but didn't feel like she is capable of walking that specific distance every day. I didn't really dare to tell her I wanted to do this alone, since she sometimes is really afraid I want to do these things just to be away from her, when in reality I really just want to do these things because I think they're interesting and challenging. So what I did was try and alter the plans so she would be able to join me, where I dialed back the distance walked every day and included a hotel stop along the way. The hike would be spread out over one week in total, and she felt like she would maybe be capable of this. Since she told me this I've spent some time on searching for good gear, with which we could do this together.
For context, we've lived together for 1 year now and shared one big vacation together and several other smaller trips. We've recently bought a car and are planning to go on a road trip with just the two of us in summer. I'm really looking forward to spending that time together.
When I get excited about something I really dig into it and I've spent a good portion of my time last week reading into proper hiking gear for two people. My girlfriend thinks I am diving too deep into it, and she is doubting my wish to want to do the hike this year. She was trying her best to change my mind and give me alternatives, which didn't involve thru-hiking (which I really want to do). On my end, I'm really excited and almost feel like I can't wait a couple of years before I undertake such an endeavour.
My girlfriend thinks me wanting to hike alone is an early sign of me wanting to break up with her, which I don't agree with, it's just something I really feel like I would want to do alone. Being in nature, away from civilization, for a certain period of time - being alone and having to rely completely on yourself, that just feels right to me.
Maybe I should have been honest from the start, and tell her I really wanted to do this alone. I recognize that, but I am just wondering if the idea of wanting to hike alone makes me an asshole to begin with? Is it weird to take a one-week holiday alone when you're in a starting relationship? Especially in order to do something that is really going to challenge me on a very personal level? I don't have a good reference point to compare myself to, so I'm really wondering what other people would say.
TLDR; I want to hike alone, my girlfriend doesn't want me to and thinks of it as an early sign of me wanting to break up with her.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2ww67HS1RmpTeeUm3HdBGFcSR5gBRCGx | b6rlyg | {
"description": "not giving someone their shoes back",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not giving someone their shoes back? | So, in my friend group a lot of us like basketball shoes. I had some Jordan 3's that my friend (I'll call them aaron) really liked and wanted.
He came up to me at school one day asking if i would be willing to trade them for soldier 11's which he knew i loved. I told him of course and that Saturday we had traded. I come to school Monday wearing them and find out that they're actually not Aaron's shoes and are some that he borrowed from another friend(I'll call them ashley). ashley says they want their shoes back and I say that I'm willing to return them but I'll need my shoes back.
so the next day I come to school wearing different shoes with the soldiers in my backpack. I go to Aaron for the shoes and the Jordans are muddy AND THE SOLES ARE MISSING. so I say i'm not giving the soldiers back until He gets me a new pair of 3's.
since then I have been completely shut out of the friend group and getting spammed with texts from our whole group saying that I'm a dick and that i shouldn't have traded with Aaron if i wasn't willing to risk the shoes being destroyed.
so... AITA for not giving the shoes back?
TL;DR: i trade shoes, mine get destroyed, I'm not giving theirs back | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
4tpwjj75FOZo5Utkup1WHor94KEKFzWE | 9vopr7 | {
"description": "denying my friend rides home from work an hour before I get off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for denying my friend rides home from work an hour before I get off? | Right now I'm looking for a place to stay and I'm currently living with a group of friends in their apartment. I happen to work with 2 of them. The apartment is less than 5 minutes from where we all work so my friend wants me to give him a ride. No problem I thought until he got off an hour early and asked if I could drive him home then. He already asked our boss who said it was fine but I would have to clock off and clock back in when I returned. So I've done this twice now and honestly it's kind of annoying ends up taking 15 or so minutes each time and I just come back into work just to make the same ride 45 minutes later. Just want to know would it be rude to deny him a ride since I'm staying with them rent free? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
MPeRFdzeql5VpZd1jRZKWooyFDKXtTZ2 | axpyqe | {
"description": "telling my flatmates I'm leaving but convincing the owner to kick them out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for telling my flatmates I'm leaving but convincing the owner to kick them out | I (23M) have been sharing a flat with Alice (F19) and Bob (M19) for about two years. I was in the flat before with some great mates that left the country to continue their studies (we're all college students). I've lived here for 4 years so I like to call this my home. Financially independent just last year. I have great plans to eventually rent this flat on my own and for it to become my residence for the future.
​
Initally my new flatmates were cool and understood that things around the house dont get sorted by themselves. They were 18 years old when they came to the big city, both only childs.
​
But soon they stopped "giving a shit" about stuff around the house. Cleaning, shopping and finances. Their parents still pay for rent and their share of utilities so that's not an issue, but I have to take care of all the other stuff. This has been causing me stress. I avoid comming home until late so I wont't have to deal with the mess. I have asked them to please try to clean after themselves and be more careful, to no avail. I am not a clean freak but overnight dirty dishes do me in.
​
Now the other week the flat owner called me as our contract is about to end and he wants to know if we'll stay. I told him I would first speak to my flatmates. I went to one of them (Alice) and told her that it was "either them or me" but somebody would have to leave. She was totally unresponsive and stared at me blankly so I just said, alright, "I'm leaving". I said "I can't keep living like this". She left my room without a word and that was all I heard about that.
​
I was about to start looking for a new flat, but a third friend Charlie who also knows Alice and Bob message me three days ago telling me that he heard on good account that Alice and Bob were celebrating with joy my leaving. Quoting "that autist is finally out of this flat" and had started auctioning my room to their friends. This has not sat well with me, especially the insults. Alice and Bob don't know that I know this, but I felt very angry that they would act in that way after me basically giving them no trouble with my leaving.
​
After a bit of thinking, I called the flat ower to tell him that I was interested in continuing but that my flatmates were absolutely disastrous and were not taking good care of his flat. I offered him to continue only with me and not renew Alice or Bob. He has all but agreed to that deal.
​
Alice and Bob are on their third year of college, finding a flat will not be an easy task in the current market. I told them the flat is theirs so they are making their plans. I am keeping very quiet about this, and will not say anything untill one month before the end of the contract so they have time to move out. I could have taken it not so personaly, but I love this flat and I didn't really want to leave. I am also filled with joy and released vengeance. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
doDNlb1w5DXRNoa72h4KXpGjGwVQiKO4 | afsj16 | {
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to stop being friends with her best friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For wanting my girlfriend to stop being friends with her best friend? | To give a little backstory, my girlfriend (who I’ll call Ann) and I have been dating for almost a year now and we’ve been going pretty smoothly. I introduced her to my friend (who will be called Bob) who introduced her to his boyfriend (who will be called Jim,), everyone got along well. One day I get a text from Bob saying that Ann and Jim are over at his and asking if I want to come up as well. I reject the offer as I was pretty ill that day, he sent me a few images of them having fun together, she texted me a few times. I had gotten a text later from Bob showing a picture of her T-shirt pulled downed a bit showing her bra, I texted her asking if she was alright and she replied that Jim and Bob were poking her breasts and ass and that she felt a little uncomfortable (in case anyone asks, they were bisexual).
Fast forward a few months, Jim and Bob have broken up and we all, more or less, cut off contact with Bob and Jim and Ann are best of friends. Now Jim personality is very flirty and that can make me a bit jealous at times, though Ann never flirts back. I was texting her one day and I ask her “What’s up?” And she replies “I’m on the way to [insert my hometowns name]” I ask her what’s she’s gonna do here as she hadn’t texted me beforehand to ask if I wanted to hang out, she said that Jim and her were gonna hang out and asked if I wanted to come along, I responded with a simple “Yes.” They both come of the bus and I greet her with a hug and say hello to Jim (who had also came on the bus) and they two immediately got to talking, I just kind of floated around feeling a bit like a third wheel. We eventually got to the town centre and I told them that I was gonna run home quickly to get a coat as it was a bit chilly and for them to wait there. When I returned we continued walking around. Fast forward to the end of the night, I got into a small argument with Ann about drinking, she felt like I was a bit too restrictive with it (I don’t drink) and basically didn’t want her drinking because she doesn’t handle it well. I stormed off back home. I apologised next morning through text and admitted that I had been a massive asshole.
Fast forward to about a week or two ago, I had, more or less, come to the conclusion that Jim didn’t like me very much, I talked to Ann about this and she kinda confirmed this. We basically talked about Jim for a while, and that I especially disliked him for showering her with compliments. She revealed to me that after I went to get my coat, they had talked about me (he had basically said that I seemed a bit insensitive), and after the argument over alcohol he had encouraged her to break up with me (she didn’t, luckily), and I have grown to have a big disliking of him. Am I an asshole for wanting her to stop being his friend?
tl;dr - My girlfriend best friend poked her ass, flirts with her, dislikes me and encouraged her to break up with me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PkXcwfxF6aGd5FrL2OsljdbmUcZVAwH7 | apnrew | {
"description": "hating my forner junior high friends gor moving on in high school",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITAH I hate my forner junior high friends gor moving on in high school | It was the middle of my freshman year of high school and I thought my friends from 8th grade would want to to continue to be friends and one kid even said sure. I asked them to hang out and they were always busy as usual. I've never been great with social queues and hints and they were busy when we were still friends. My mom said they moved on and I wanted to make sure so I asked. They said yes. I was in a very fragile state after recently coming out of a mental hospital and overcoming depression and it could come back. I was depressed somewhat and very angry at my parents for sending me to the hospital and not listening to me. When walking across the street I got extremely lonely as they were the 2 friends I had to hang out with. (The kid who still wanted to be friends moved on in this event as well as another). Due to this I instantly became suicidal and debated stopping and letting myself get hit. I didn't. But I was so close to and I was right in front my house. I overcame my depression completely and am no longer super angry at my parents. But I hate and would like to severely beat up the kids who moved on mainly for making me suicidal (I was still suicidal that night and cried. A lot) and hate them more than Hitler. No exaggerations. I've heard I'm not an asshole yet but I will become one if I stay this way. Every time I see them I freeze up with anger and can't help but think about how much I hate them. I don't know what to do either way. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
PB3y3n9jq0vBsoh2FLXCYTFjP1Bcmtqn | ac3jm8 | {
"description": "telling my so she needs to get rid of clothes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my SO she needs to get rid of clothes | My SO and I share 3 small closets, one dresser and a 6-cubby shelf for clothing. I have one of two smaller closets while she uses the other two, two of three dresser drawers and five of six cubbies. Half of the room's perimeter has her clothing piled up along the wall, including a pile on top of the dresser. I've been downsizing because I've become annoyed by the clutter of laundry.
Tonight I can home to a shelf she bought to put clothes in. I got upset and told her that lack of space is not the issue but too much clothing (in more words). She refuses to get rid of any more clothing and says she'll only add to her wardrobe (we're expecting so maternity clothes will keep coming).
I got pretty upset, saying we're getting no more clothing and if she needs new clothes, she'll have to get rid of some. Am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
gTMjLPpdl1wgs4F12u5dTWxIqKFOwmjE | b4oprn | {
"description": "thinking someone's a terrible driver",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I think someone's a terrible driver? | Okay, so me and a couple of coworkers are driving to a mall. We're carpooling in this woman's car, let's call her RL for rude lady. It's seven of us stuffed in a van and RL is driving way too fast. A lady in the back (CW for coworker) tells her to slow down, we won't get there quicker if we're dead. RL shoots back, 'Thanks, I know how to drive' and proceeds to pick up a mostly empty bag of chips and pour the (crumbs??? idk) into her mouth, blocking her view of the road (!!!!).This bitch then tosses the empty bag outside the window and keeps going as if nothing happened. I'm kind of a nonaggressive person, but I can't help feeling a bit unsafe so I say, 'hey, you really shouldn't litter'. She says it's her car, her rules.
AITA for thinking she's a terrible driver? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
w5xL9vglnqdmLbWavDU51WG1k2p6JFPG | b49fab | {
"description": "telling my friend I'd go home if she bought a bottle of wine",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend I’d go home if she bought a bottle of wine? | My friend is a recently diagnosed alcoholic which she’s sort of accepting. She’s had a couple hiccups as obviously it’s incredibly difficult to go completely cold turkey and she’s dealing with other stuff too.
She wanted to have a “weekend off” and drink and I said this was a terrible idea and I would go home if she drank. Am I being an asshole? I’m trying to be supportive but I also don’t want to enable her. Should I have handled this situation differently? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lORhbxDZ75tIZg3w5hijPcazhgmhI2Tp | aco0q0 | {
"description": "not paying my employees more",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for Not Paying My Employees More? | Burner account due to personal details. I was laid off from my corporate job in 2008 and used my retirement savings to start a new business. It was very rough going for a few years (we came close to failing, like most start ups, which means I came close to losing my life savings, but the business finally got traction and has done really well lately, much better than I expected. I now make way more money that I ever imagined, so much that I’m in the top 0.1%, make millions of dollars a year, and have a net worth of tens of millions of dollars. I live relatively modestly (I didn’t grow up rich) and have more money than I’ll ever need.
My business has over 50 employees, and I pay over $1 million each year in federal taxes, which is as much as the average household pays in 100 years. I’d like to think that I’m benefiting society by being an entrepreneur, by creating dozens of jobs, and by paying millions of dollars in taxes, but I constantly read about how wealthy people like me are like blood sucking leeches who prey on the middle class.
I pay my employees what I believe is fairly, with starting wages for entry level employees at over $17/hr, I provide health insurance and a retirement fund with matching funds, as well as paid time off. That having been said, my company couldn’t exist without my employees, and I make over 100x what I pay an entry level employee. I’m certain some of them struggle to make ends meet while I never have to worry about money again. Am I the asshole for not paying more of my company’s earnings to my employees? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
VyVoBMYui7jT2GmIMY2bIpOMX2VRZ8M1 | a7ys0v | {
"description": "being angry with my friend for not supporting me during my dad's death",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being angry with my friend for not supporting me during my dad’s death? | MY friend has been going through IVF which has led to two miscarriages at a very early stage 3-4 weeks along. She is using a route which she has been warned has 80% chance of miscarriage. She refuses to try other routes with better chances.
I’ve been to hospital appointments, covered for her in work, been there 24/7. A month ago my dad was hospitalised. He died on 1st December. It was very sudden and we had no clue he was ill. I’ve taken the news really badly and been off work.
Since then I feel like whenever she gets in touch with me it’s with a really superficial “how are you” and then as soon as I answer she sends me long texts about how hard she’s finding IVF and coping with the unsuccessful pregnancies. She rarely follows up on anything I say about how I feel. Today, we were supposed to meet for coffee. I’m going to the hairdresser which is the last thing I want to do but am trying to get back to normal. I messaged her at 9.00 am re confirming the time of my appointment and checking she still wanted to meet. She ignores me til 2pm (having read my message basically as soon as I sent it) and then sent me a message about how hard she is finding it doing tests, won’t be coming and to “enjoy my hair”.
It’s hard to describe how angry this has left me. I was literally with this woman every step of her treatment but now when I need some support it’s just not there. I fully appreciate her loss and have helped her with it but I lost my father in awful circumstances and it feels like I’m just constantly dismissed.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3WmjZvQJm1UU3n71P78LhEaCx703bP9d | 9v7y62 | {
"description": "moving out of my dorm without telling my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for moving out of my dorm without telling my roommate? | Background: My roommate (We’ll call him Cole) is a nice guy, but there are a few serious problems I have with him that I tried and failed to resolve. He snores *so* loud, I wear earplugs and noise canceling headphones sleep and every night for several weeks either couldn’t get to sleep for several hours or was woken up and couldn’t get back to sleep. He also smells awful, he’s always cooking very smelly foods in the room and that combines very poorly with his BO and mildewy towel. It got to a point where the first thing everyone noticed upon entering the room was the smell. I brought both of these issues up with him politely numerous times, but it seems like they’re both just out of his control.
So last week I moved into my two best friend’s room as a triple since their third roommate recently dropped out. I’ve been sleeping great and we all get along spectacularly. I didn’t tell Cole at first, but a few days after the move we ran into each other and he asked if I had moved, and I said yeah but just because my friends dorm was in the same building and they had an opening, and that was that. Just to clarify, Cole and I are not friends. We only communicate on things related to our room.
Today I went back to my old room to get a notebook that I forgot there when I moved for a class I had in a few minutes. Two of my old neighbors (we’ll call them Lauren and Alice) stopped me and asked if I moved without telling Cole. Lauren already knew all the reasons why I had moved, Alice did not know. Lauren told me that Cole had stopped by her dorm wondering if I was okay and if she knew why I moved. She didn’t tell him but suggested that I did. I kind of laughed at this and mocked the idea that I tell him I moved because he smells bad. This made her very upset and she got pretty angry at me calling me all sorts of awful names for moving without telling him. Alice jumped on the bandwagon too and started saying “it’s common courtesy” and telling me that I have no respect. They wouldn’t let me get a word in, so I kind of angrily told them that “I’m not gonna talk to you guys about this but thanks for the input” and walked off because I had to get to class.
AITA?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Pfaji5C76ssD8S0lCSwfWZGLvirt8plE | b45naq | {
"description": "calling Captain America a bitch to his face",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for calling Captain America a bitch to his face? | The backstory for this is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. I went to a comic con a few months ago in chicago. My girlfriend bought the tickets for me and got me the chance to meet Chris Evans and I was beyond excited as hes my favorite actor portraying my favorite superhero. After I took the picture with him and cried of excitement he was part of a panel with Lee Pace (Ronan from GOTG) and Karen Gillan (Nebula from GOTG).
During the panel I got to ask a question and I asked if Captain America could beat Lee Paces character from the Hobbit movies, Thandruil. Chris said "I'm gonna lose a lot of these fight cap doesnt bring an inate sense of super power and strength to the table. He's got a lot of heart hes got a real clean moral compass but for the most part-" and I cut him off and said "hes kind of a bitch?" After a big reaction from the crowd and the lady interviewing the actors I apologized profusely and made a couple of jokes but it ended there and they moved onto the next question. I felt embarassed all day and felt bad about disrespecting him because meeting him was such a big life moment for me but my girlfriend said over and over he knew I was joking.
A couple days later the panel got posted to youtube (I can link if anyone is interested) and there were comments saying that I was way in the wrong and I'm the type of person that contributes to the anxiety Chris has talked about having in the past. Since then everyone in my family and many of my classmates have seen it and I have gotten over the embarassment of it but still can't shake the feeling I was too rude. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
47IsH451Ad04hACyWGdKzeQN9PqIsdVU | aqmj89 | {
"description": "ruining a budding relationship",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for ruining a budding relationship? | I wouldn’t post this here but I really feel like I’m in the right and my coworkers have told me I’m wrong, so I’d like opinions from people who are removed from the situation. Also, my apologies for how long this is.
I started at a company about 2 years ago. The people in it are very close knit and almost everyone knows each other. When I started, I was on the younger side at 22 (ages range from 21 to 60s). Immediately a man in his 30’s started to come onto me pretty strong. These advances always happened at social events and when there was alcohol involved they were honestly foul.
After several requests for dates and many inappropriate pick up lines on his end I just lied and said I had a boyfriend which apparently was the key to stopping him.
A year later I was recounting this experience to a friend and she said “why do you think I avoid him? He did the exact same to me and (another girl at the company).” This fact didn’t surprise me but the fact that no one talked about it did surprise me.
I started asking around this year and it turns out he does this to many young women who have just started to work here. Always new employees, always under 25. When I asked my more seasoned coworkers for advice they said I was overreacting to call this harassment and that he’s just “lonely” and trying to find someone. I ALSO found out that he lied to people and told them that we did go on the dates he propositioned me for (pretty funny in the present day because now I’m out as gay to pretty much everyone I work with).
Now on to the present situation: last night he showed up to a social event with one of the new employees as his valentines date. It makes me nervous to think that she might go through the same thing as many women before her. I want to at the very least warn her of his past behavior so that she can make a decision on what she wants to do. But my coworkers tell me the past is in the past and I shouldn’t mess with what could be a potential relationship. Since they actually did go on a date it could be true that he’s not harassing her but it feels wrong for her not to know.
So, WIBTA if I potentially ruined a relationship and warned this girl about this man’s behavior? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 9,
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} | RIGHT |
z9DfdeTbc46MKpr61z0FKtP7vorklMb6 | as1qop | {
"description": "not wanting to listening to a political tirade from an african american woman at a brew pub",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting to listening to a political tirade from an African American woman at a brew pub? | I live in the northeastern US. My boyfriend and I are both Caucasian.
My were at a local brewery the other night when an African American woman struck up a convo with us. At first, she seemed normal/friendly but quickly became pretty aggressive. She began lecturing us, quite sternly, about the poor state of race relations in the US, how blacks are oppressed, the situation with Gucci manufacturing a blackface sweater, so on. She also took it upon herself to tell us that everything we learned about POC (people of color) in school is wrong and then began a history lesson, going on for another 15 minutes.
The thing is, although both being super white, my boyfriend and I did grow up in very progressive communities and received thorough info on the history of POC and their history the US specifically. Some schools down South quite literally try to change history and seriously misinform students about POC in America. That’s not the case up North, and especially not the case where we went to high school.
Furthermore, I went on to study history in college and received a degree. So everything she told me I already knew, but felt super uncomfortable with the idea of trying to tell her that and shut down the convo given her demeanor. I didn’t want to start an argument or be labeled a racist.
It’s not that I disagreed with her at all. Everything she was saying was totally correct and I’m usually all about staying woke and spreading knowledge and whatever. But I can’t help but to feel extremely ticked off that she targeted us for her tirade when we were just trying to have a fun night at the brewery.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
hg4GqLrTW64IzkdNYY4nDFLBIBAdqek8 | b9qumr | {
"description": "yelling at a 14-year-old",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 25
} | AITA for yelling at a 14-year-old? | Hey guys. On throwaway here.
​
For context: I (23f) have been living with a host family for the past four months in a foreign country. This host family had to go through a rigorous selection process with the program I'm currently working with to host me, so it's not like my presence here is any surprise to them. I pay them each month a more than decent amount for food and rent. In a few months I may have the chance to move out, but that's not an option right now.
This host family has a fourteen year old boy who is usually home in the early afternoon every day. He does not have any friends that he hangs out with and he has no hobbies but watching YouTube and Vine compilations and listening to Bebe Rhexa and Ava Max, usually the same couple songs at least once or twice a day.
Because of my job and our location in a relatively isolated village, I am usually in the house at the same time as him every day. There is only one cafe in town, and it is not a good place for studying (it's covered in cigarette smoke and has no outlets for my ten-year-old laptop), so I usually try to do work in my room. This, however, has been rendered impossible because my host brother has rigged a stereo system to play his videos and music on thee wall adjacent to my bedroom's. Over the past four months I have tried giving him headphones, explaining that I need to study, and trying to bribe him into being quieter. Sometimes it works, but it's largely dependent on his mood, and the agreement never usually lasts longer than an hour or so. I've taken to wearing earplugs all day and night in my house and leaving for two or three hour long walks to avoid the constant barrage of sound. I've mentioned this and a few other scuffles we've had to his parents, who are usually not home until very late at night and leave very early in the morning, they wave it off as puberty and shrug.
Well, today was raining. And I've been stressing like mad about the GREs and my lack of mathematical ability. So when my host brother came home, powered up his computer and started blasting his YouTube like usual, I went out and asked him to put in the headphones I gave him. He refused and when I asked why, he said, "Because I don't want to." When I told him that I didn't want to have to listen to his videos, he responded, "Well, that's not my problem."
Guys, I went ballistic. Full-on freak-out, F-bombs every other word. Any time I could ad an adjective, it was an expletive. Four months I've been dealing with this kid's crap and it just all came to a head. I spent a good five minutes detailing just how f\*cking disrespectful he is as a human being. I have never in my life spoken to another person like how I spoke to him.
Currently I'm hiding out in my room. All is quiet on the western front now, so I suppose that's good at least. His parents still haven't come home, but I'm waiting for when they do and we all have a really fun family get-together.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 25
} | WRONG |
wRqIkJzkxVRVnc9x1tf2ahKgZTKgri6k | 9u92sx | {
"description": "never giving my brother help/advice, even though my mother gets angry with me when I don't",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA If I never give my brother help/advice, even though my mother gets angry with me when I don't? | My (24f) youngest brother (21m) is the baby of the family. Meaning he has gotten away with a ton of stuff I, the second oldest of four, couldn't dream of getting away with.
Of course, now we are older, so he should get himself together right? Wrong.
My mother constantly tells me that I should tell him to clean the kitchen, or do his homework (we're in college), or watch what he eats (he's like, almost 300lbs, but hes tall af) etc, etc. I do all these things all the time, so when my mother sees me busy with these things she yells that I should tell him to do it too.
Okay, so I used to. But all my constant nagging just triggers him so much and he berates me, calling me 'little girl', or tells me to shut up if I tell him something more than twice. He gets hostile, so I *have* to back off.
As for me, I absolutely **HATE** getting berated or yelled at (especially by him, it hurts me so much I can't stand it (ngl I've cried waaay too many times because of this kid)), and I *actively* do anything I can to avoid it. So, lately I haven't been nagging him as much and he leaves me alone for the most part. My mother screams that I should, and she tells me I'm 'ignoring him' and calls me 'mean' and 'selfish' if I don't (which also pains me).
I am being selfish because I don't want to be chewed out by either of them, and I think there might be some validity to my mom's side of the argument. My brother isn't exactly the type to get stuff done (I'm not either), but I'm older, so some responsibility falls on me.
tl;dr I don't tell my brother what to do much anymore because he hates my nagging, my mom hates that I 'ignore' him, and I'm basically terrified of confrontation. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
stzNnWZmuVtjfOIIQ1PIOu84mYCovTqM | aq9cwi | {
"description": "\"stealing\" my friend's crush",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For “Stealing” My Friend’s Crush? | I just made this account because this has been eating me away for DAYS! I literally had to get this out of my system.
Some background- I (F21) have been dating my current boyfriend J (21 too) since we were both sophomores in high school. We are both in our junior year of university (Our birthdays were in January FYI). We also have plans to get married soon. We have a group of friends who we hang out with all the time; they’re all guys and I’m the only girl. J and I almost never do PDA. Also, we never tell anyone we’re dating unless they ask because of an incident that happened in our senior year of high school. If you didn’t personally know us, you would never know J and I were dating. Not to toot his horn but my boyfriend is pretty good looking and always has girls crushing on him. All of this is crucial for our story. Moving on.
I made a new friend (Who we will call L) in one of my classes in the fall. We both hit it off and became really good friends. She would come over to my apartment for sleepovers and I would go to hers for the same, we went to parties at my bf’s frat together and all those things girls do together.
Lately, L had been telling me about a guy she had a crush on since she first came here. I tried asking her who it was, she wouldn’t tell me. After a lot of persuading, she agreed to describe her crush. When she finished describing her crush, I was so excited for her. I thought she had a crush on one of my friends (who we will call M) who just so happened to be looking for a girlfriend! Plus, he was really good looking and a perfect match for L.
I started to invite her to our group outings so L and M could hit it off and eventually date. I was happy since I thought my plan was working, but L kept on hovering around J for some reason instead of M. I didn’t pay any mind to it. I knew my boyfriend loved me and he would NEVER cheat on me. I was fine with him being around girls. And I knew L would never go after him because she had a crush on M.
One day, L stops talking to me. She blocked me on all of her social media except for my number. I tried calling and texting her and asking her if I did anything wrong. She always left me on read or never picked up. I was devastated because I really liked having a girl around for once.
This is where the drama happens. I’m with a couple of my friends in a cafe when L comes in and throws a (thankfully iced) drink at my face. Everyone around us was shocked. L then started to yell at me.
“You knew I liked J and you went after him! I thought we were friends! How could you betray me like this, wenucry! How could you!”
Turns out, L had a crush on my bf, not M. She thought I was also trying to set J and her up. One of her other friends had saw J and I kissing and showed L a picture she took of it. But L never told me who her crush was. She just described him. And, no offense, we’re all Asian and M and J have similar features, so the way she described him made me think she was talking about M.
So, AITA for “stealing” away my friend’s crush? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
z5mhro9goVBZFGv7Ekfw8u75n3oilXNT | ajn532 | {
"description": "snapping at my boyfriend for talking over me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for talking over me? | Hello, please be gentle, I'm struggling.
I'm in the process of recovering from (relationship) OCD and I've recently reduced my meds meaning I've had a surge of intrusive thoughts. I've been practising not responding to them for a year and as a result, I now can no longer trust my gut instinct - if I react negatively to something, I am convinced it's because it's my OCD so I let it slide. I really want to know if I was snappy because I'm irritable, or if this is actually a snappable offence.
So the incident.
Boyfriend and I had plans to go to his (our) friends house for tea after we'd both finished work. He was already there when I arrived.
Our friends are a couple, Sam and Julia, and when I arrived and sat down, Julia asked me how my sick pet was whilst she was preparing food. I start talking about it, it's been a bit of an ordeal, vets, money, thinking he was dying, and my boyfriend just starts talking to Sam about the board game he's brought? So I briefly stop talking because I find it hard to concentrate when other people are talking, and carry on, only for boyfriend and Sam to continue talking about the board game.
I turned around and said "I'm talking, can you not talk over me?" and his reaction was an indignant "alright!", and him and Sam continued quietly in the corner.
So instantly I apologised, thinking \*oh my god I've done it again, I've oriented to an intrusive thought, him talking over me was fine, why have I done this\*.
But as time went on, I just felt like shit, and I left 2 hours later. I wanted to explain this to him, but also didn't want to bring it up when really... I just want to know if I was overreacting. There's no point in talking about this incident with him now, but if the same thing happens in future, I can at least know whether my reaction is appropriate or not and can work from there.
TLDR AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for talking over me? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
jGB79e256v8bV4yIIc10xPBCrIqVQMQK | b4m9v0 | {
"description": "only giving 2 Weeks Notice",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I Only Give 2 Weeks Notice | So I'm typing this on mobile so I apologize for any autocorrect weirdness.
I work in a company I really like and would like to stay in. My position is stressful, 60 hours a week. come in early and leave late kind of stressful. I've been in my current position for about 7 months. But I have been doing 60 hour workweeks for about 3 years now. I dont get much time to spend with my girlfriend, play games with my friends or really do much else. It's go to work. come home, goof off for 2 hours then sleep. I also only get Tuesdays and Saturdays off, so that doesn't help.
I'm part of a department that has 5 people in it. Four techs, which I am one of and a supervisor. The supervisor is a mixed bag, she brings in starbucks for everyone and tries to be sociable. The other 4 text, get drinks together, take care of each others' cats, etc. They'll sit in their office and chat and sometimes get away with minor stuff I'd get in trouble for.
Given how much time they spend together the other 4 are close. But while I'm always nice and kind, I do want to go home, spend time with my own friends, girlfriend, etc. Not be at work or meetup outside of work. They are all girls and I'm the only guy if that matters.
I feel as though my supervisor has let her personal feelings interfere with the way she treats us. My position has a lot of turnover because while the overtime is nice, it is excessive and we're not paid to deal with the stress.
Thing is, a friend of mine from another department about a month back stated that a position in his department would be opening up. I would go from a 60 hour week to a 45, also 3 day weekends. Their department is physically next to mine so if l did transfer I would likely still see my old co workers.
I've already met with the new guy who would be my boss and he seems like a really cool guy and I'm excited to potentially work for him. Here's the big thing though, my department has really high turnover, in the last year thre have been three different teams that have come and gone. Because of this, replacing me might prove to be challenging, however they might be able to find another one of their friends and complete their Department of friendship or whatever.
I've yet to mention this to my boss, and I'm pretty sold on moving to the new Department only because having that free time and the less stress would be life changing for me at this point. However I don't want to say anything until I know for a fact it's going to happen. My buddy in the new department is kind of nudging that I should be saying something because it could be hard to find someone new, but I want to wait until I have a concrete answer.
So, sorry for the long winded post. Obviously I'll work hard in my current apartment all the way up until the very end, but Would I Be The Asshole if I only gave two weeks notice only once I knew for a fact I was transferring?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pSlnmpj22cP4powSzjAcB1YOZsScRq9f | b3echu | {
"description": "calling a girl 'not girlfriend material'",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for calling a girl 'not girlfriend material'? | So in AP Bio we were doing a lab in a group of 4- Sam, Will, Josh, and I. Sam has a crush on this girl, let's call her Maya, in our grade. He knows I used to hang out with Maya a few months ago. We were waiting around for the lab to complete, so we were just taking about random shit, and Sam asks me about Maya. Now, Sam has a completely idealized view of Maya and sees her as perfect. I get it, I've felt that way in the past about Maya as well, since I was crushing on her *hard*. But as soon as I actually started hanging out with her, I realized my impression of her was way off. She acted nice and sweet, but in reality....
Anyway, Sam asked me my honest opinion of her and how to get her to like him. I just replied he doesn't want to do that. Then, I said this:
'Now, from the outside she looks cute. But she's wack: she's religious to an extreme, and she feels guilty after we do *anything*. But at the same time, she's clingy. She throws a tantrum if you don't give her all your attention. She doesn't want you to have female friends. She looked through my phone. In short, she's basically not girlfriend material. I made a mistake hanging out with her.'
Will and Josh nodded along and chimed in saying they heard the same thing that I was saying. But Sam just got mad and said I was 'sexist' and 'shaming her'.
Was I? Aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
YNrvUqm8ahbnYaI9vn0gcum0Jhco08jN | a0a614 | {
"description": "not wanting to listen to an SJW's demands this morning",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for not wanting to listen to an SJW's demands this morning? | This literally just happened so I’m curious to know who’s the asshole in today’s fight. My boyfriend and I wanted to grab a breakfast sandwich from this little bakery. Street parking in this area is always full so after a drive around we parked at the back of the No Frill’s in the area for the 5 minute run. We get out of the car and start to walk towards the bakery (across the street from NF) and this loud woman gets out of her car and yells, “This is for NO FRILLS CUSTOMERS ONLY!!!!!”
To preface, this parking lot was half empty, absolutely no one was waiting to park, and this was at the back of the lot. In no way a reserved or handicap spot. My boyfriend was startled, because who wouldn’t be for getting yelled at right in the morning. His immediate defence was to say “Oh, okay sorry!” and started walking back to the car to move it. Now, this woman had no idea if we were grocery shopping afterwards, had no idea we were just going to grab a sandwich and head back. Fuck this stranger, I thought. She doesn’t know what we’re doing. I said, “Babe, just ignore her- let’s get going!”
The woman did not like this. She said went on and on, “you’re a very rude person you know that?” I laughed because I think she’s ridiculous. My boyfriend then got upset with me and said, “Why are you trying to win with this woman?”
I was not trying to win and to be honest his lack of tailbone of a random person trying to mother us was annoyed me. We’re almost 30. You don’t move your car because you’re not playing by some soccer mom’s rules. We live in a huge city where every day there are going to be weird people like this that to me are not worth a second of our time. Who cares what this woman thinks or does in the five minutes we're gone. Let’s grab our goddamn sandwich and go.
He demanded we get in the car and go park elsewhere afraid she would somehow be the reason we'd get a ticket. So we did. But now we’re fighting on our differences in opinions on this. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 17
} | WRONG |
J2CUv70jMqnL0sUlxYaVe74hfYANfaBm | aqtxsa | {
"description": "telling my family I shouldn't be the only child who should help with the house bills because I have the \"better job?\"",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my family I shouldn't be the only child who should help with the house bills because I have the "better job?" | My three siblings and I live with my loving parents in a decent house. I'm the second oldest but the most successful in terms of having a career and making money. (Side note: This doesn't really affect my youngest sister since she just started college and is working on getting a job.)
My dad owns a small business and it doesn't do the best all the time and times can get tough for him when it comes to bills. My sister isn't currently working due to her last job being too stressful and my older brother works with my dad and pretty much lives paycheck to paycheck. My brother always talks about how he's going to look for a better job while he's in school but that has yet to happen. I'm always the one who my parents AND my siblings come to first when they run into financial trouble. It's been three years of my sister having the excuse "when I get a better job I'll be able to help" and my brother waiting to graduate college so he can do the same as her. Now my sister is jobless and her new excuse is that she can't offer any help until she gets a job. Keep in mind that during these last three years of me being in my career, I've loaned my family thousands of dollars for vacations, bills, school payments, etc. So just this week I get another text from my parents asking for help and the usual stuff. I felt it was time I told my siblings that they need to do a better job on trying to find a job. I instantly told my siblings that I was not complaining about having to help our parents and was more frustrated that I am the only one who can afford to do so. I told them that if we all chipped in each month, it wouldn't be better off on my end so I wouldn't have to dish out large amounts at once and it would be nice for our parents too. My sister instantly pulled the jobless card and how she had to leave her last job due to stress. I showed little to no remorse due to how long I've heard those excuses for. She then told me that I shouldn't be complaining about helping a family that has done so much for me and pretty much told me I have no right to be annoyed. She did not like the fact that I told her to get any job and try to help as much as she can. This whole conversation turned into a huge fight and it got into her calling me selfish even after every thing I have done for her and the rest of my daily. There is a lot more but this is pretty much the gist of it. Keep in mind that I am an aggressive saver and trying to save up so I can move out and purchase a house. A lot of the times I offer my financial help, I am digging into my savings.
So am I the asshole for being frustrated about this? Should I have not said anything to my siblings and just continued to support my family until my siblings are able to? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 15,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4ECkNKkAsyCIlxrn2GYanhD5ZGCEnxgM | aj1la2 | {
"description": "eating my housemate's cereal when I was drunk",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for eating my housemate's cereal when I was drunk | Me and my housemate own two types of cereal that are very similar. Even the packets have very similar designs with similar images and colours on them etc.
A couple weekends ago I was out with friends and really overdid it. I don't remember most of the night or coming home, but when I'm that drunk I get the munchies.
Woke up the next day with a raging hangover and that feeling of "oh shit, I hope I didn't do anything stupid". Turns out I sort of did... I ate my housemate's cereal instead of mine and made a mess of the kitchen.
So I'm in the kitchen cleaning up and my housemate comes in along with my two other housemates. I tell him that I was out the night before and I accidentally ate his cereal, apologised and offered to pay him back/buy him new cereal. He loses his shit, calls me a thief and an asshole etc. Other housemates are just standing there awkwardly and staring at me while this is happening. I decide the best thing to do is to just leave and let him cool down so I walk down to the shop and buy him some new cereal plus some chocolates. I leave it outside his room with an apology note.
Next time I see him he's sitting at the kitchen table working on his laptop and I ask if he got the cereal and chocolates and he replies, "Yeah thanks" without looking up. Doesn't say anything else or otherwise acknowledge that I'm there so I just get food and leave. I figure he's still pissed at me and he'll hopefully cool off in a couple of days.
Now it's been nearly two weeks and he's still giving me the cold shoulder. When we run into each other he doesn't acknowledge me or even make eye contact, and replies with abrupt one word answers if I talk to him at all. The atmosphere in the house is awkward, my other housemates don't really seem to know how to react to the situation. Tbh it's bringing me down a little especially as we got along well before the cereal incident.
Tl;dr went out with friends and got too drunk, came home and ate my housemate's cereal. Apologised and replaced the cereal but housemate is still angry. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
IjKDSTIk0ALXzKeXpZ9CghWANeO0uDUA | b6v1bh | {
"description": "cancelling on a date for being tired",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for cancelling on a date for being tired? | Probably petty but interested in response. Been talking to this guy for 2 weeks now, had first date one week after starting to talk went well, had second date on Wednesday just gone (it’s Friday here now (Australia). On the date I said some things he’s said over the last week have been a bit full on (planning way ahead) just to be fully transparent but that it hasn’t freaked me out I just wanted to let him know I just wanna take things slow, he understood. We made plans on Wednesday night to hang out on Friday night (again, now) just to watch a movie. This would have been the third date. I’ve had a ridiculously long week had about 4 hours sleep and worked from 7am-5pm with about half an hour break. He asked me around 5:30pm if we’re grabbing dinner or if he should get something himself. I said I feel horrible but I’m absolutely shattered and would probably just fall asleep, and said can we do Sunday I said I’d take him out to lunch I’ll pay and we’ll watch a movie. I haven’t received a response. Now I think after him thinking I wanted out of the relationship plus now cancelling the date he thinks I’m not interested anymore. AITA for rescheduling a date when he already has doubts about me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
8GUYNw5XiM8QkSBD0KtPE9GLIIcLHnlN | a0wiyo | {
"description": "not wanting a relationship with my mother even if she has cancer",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting a relationship with my mother even if she has cancer | TL;DR: Am I the asshole for not wanting a relationship with my abusive mother who has cancer?
My mother has borderline personality disorder. My whole life has been filled with psychological, verbal, and monetary abuse, all until last year, when I decided to stop caring for her (she was living with me, not working, not doing housework, and I had to pay for everything). I moved out on my own in a 1 bedroom apartment (perfect excuse to not have her live in with me) in July 2017, and cut all ties off. This constant abuse caused severe depression and anxiety, from which I am still recovering.
Until last September, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I put some limit to our interaction by having my sister be there every single time as a buffer, in order to keep my anxiety at a reasonable level (my sister understands the situation, and don't mind being in the middle, because she suffered the same abuse to a lesser level.)
This month, my mother tried to pull her usual manipulation, this time on my sister, to get money out of her (she receives some special illness welfare, and her boyfriend works full-time with a good salary so it makes no sense that she needs $250. I live in a free healthcare country, and since she's on welfare, her medication cost her nothing).
My sister and I realized that even ill, she hasn't changed at all. Now, I want to cut ties again, because I can't deal with all her abuse, and risk my own health.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tGAk1JxVgwgS5C4puZ5VdezI30e7F1um | av0eaq | {
"description": "being a cleaning nazi",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being a cleaning Nazi? |
AITA for wanting my roommate to help clean the bathroom we share?
Background: I have been rooming with one of my friends from college since last September and the synergy between the two of us has been fairly strong until it comes to cleaning. Now, I'll be the first to admit I am a bit of a neat freak. I enjoy cleaning and when things are clean but feel I can refrain from imposing my neat freak views on others. My roommate is a little more relaxed/indifferent on the subject. Up until today, I have been the only one to take the time to truly clean the bathroom (scrub toilet, shower, floors, etc). Now I don't mind doing the cleaning but I wouldn't mind him offering every once in a while. Two weeks ago I asked if he wanted to learn how to clean the bathroom to see if I could get him to start cleaning every once in a while (more than just cleaning up after he grooms himself at the sink). This attempt bore no fruit. He took my offer as a passing joke and wondered off to his room to lounge. I decide to get a white board calendar to lay out a conservative cleaning schedule (nothing too much IMO). The schedule was laid out so that the bathroom would be cleaned every two weeks with both us alternating every two weeks. Two weeks passed and it was his turn to clean! The day passed and no cleaning had taken place. A mutual friend was over and I was discussing the matter with him. I realize I should have confronted my roommate instead of complain to a third party but you live and learn. Apparently the mutual friend brought it up to my roommate later on. When I returned home from work today, my roommate confronted me about the matter. He told me that if I wanted him to clean I should have just asked him. He went on to say that my cleaning standards where a lot higher than the average person and that when I had asked him prior, the bathroom didn't need be cleaned (it did, trust me). Now, I don't think my standards are to terribly high but maybe you guys can set me straight. Maybe I am truly a cleaning Nazi. What I usually do when I clean the bathroom:
· scrub/wipe the toilet
· scrub the shower
· wipe down the counter and the sink
· clean mirror
· sweep/swiffer wet jet the floor
· take out the trash if needed
Mind you these tasks collectively take all of 20-ish minutes to complete and none of them are physically taxing. Plus, a quick google [search](https://www.merrymaids.com/blog/quick-tips/how-often-to-clean-bathroom/) on how often a bathroom should be cleaned suggests once a week regardless if it looks likes it needs to be cleaned or not. My roommate believes that if it looks clean it doesn't need to be cleaned. Now to be fair he scrubbed the toilet and washed the bath mats today but it has been like pulling teeth. I shouldn't have to request a grown adult to help clean bathroom he shares with someone else. Am I truly asking for too much? If so I want chill, but at the moment I don't think I am asking too much.
Cheers! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8ifLuCnelIOBKLcCLSfvPMSUCHFl31Nq | b8vl4n | {
"description": "not letting my brother use my car to learn how to drive",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not letting my brother use my car to learn how to drive | Hello, I'm a 20 year old student from Norway. I recently (as in November last year) bought my first "real" car with my own money, an Audi A4 2010 with \~167 000 km (\~104 000 miles). I bought a manual car because it was a good deal on a nice looking used car, I'm used to manuals from my previous beat up car and because I believe manual cars last longer.
​
This is where my problem begins, my brother is just turning 16 this year and at that age is when you start student driving here in Norway and you get the classic L sticker for your car. My mother nor my father has a manual car of their own and they think i should let him learn how to drive a clutch in my new (used) car. I do not like the prospect of letting him do this because I don't want him to ruin the clutch or something similar. Since the car already has a good mileage i feel like him using for a couple years learning to drive clutch will wear it out fast and that's something I don't want to happen.
​
So, WIBTA for not letting my younger brother learn to drive manual in my newly bought car? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
a5Ovz6jfhNvHZAs7j0XxjaujOgfzwMmx | b1occ1 | {
"description": "challenging my mother's spiritual beliefs",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for challenging my mother's spiritual beliefs? | For background, I'm a college student and my parents divorced somewhat recently.
​
Over the past decade or so my mother has become... increasingly spiritual. In the past 5 years she became more spiritual/religious, and personally, I'm not into it. Of course, she has never forced it on me, but she has become quite invested.
​
She also believes in alternative medicine, and more recently, energy healing. She believes that anything can be cured through energy healing, but frankly, I don't buy into this. She is currently not working and trying to start her "energy healing" business, but it feels as fake as fortune telling to me. She often says things like "I won't get sick as long as I stay positive and confident that I won't". I usually keep quiet about my disagreement to preserve our relationship, but lately it just comes off as delusional to me.
​
There are times that I just want to tell her that her energy healing practice isn't real (or a placebo at best). What she does on her own time doesn't affect me in the slightest, so I feel like I would only be bursting her bubble. Honestly, though, I'm worried that she won't be able to financially support herself, and some of her beliefs are plain wrong/dangerous. WIBTA for telling her this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ggp5LZotTf3ZJADKE11G1M2l47AWvZ9B | b0uue1 | {
"description": "being upset that my mom is going back to school",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset that my mom is going back to school? | It’s honestly a little more complicated than that.
My mom has me as a teenager and because of that, had a rough time making a life for herself. She went to a community college when I was younger, my step-dad continued working and one of my older cousins lived with us for a while to help take care of me and my younger brothers until my mom graduated.
For a while, both my parents worked and I started taking care of my brothers most nights because of my parents work schedule. Well not a perfect system, it worked well enough.
And then my mom wanted to go to school again. Which was fine with me when my stepdad was still working. But then my stepdad got sick.
I honestly am very upset with my parents about this. I think it’s irresponsible of her to not work more than a day a week when we clearly don’t have enough money to stay a float currently (I know for a fact we don’t given she constantly complains about it to me) and to leave me to take care of my brothers and stepdad. She’s never home even when she doesn’t have school because she thinks our house is too distracting. I do everything around the house. All the chores, grocery shopping, making sure everyone gets to school on time, making sure my stepdad is okay, cooking, etc. I didn’t have much of a life outside of my family and school before this all happened, which was fine. But now it literally doesn’t exist because there’s just not enough hours in the day.
I never told my parents how I felt that they are being irresponsible and being unfair for putting this amount of stress on me when I’m still a teenager because I know for a fact they would consider me the asshole in this situation. So, am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
7PkaQ9hQxEJKgEWiZ3WM4O8tjmwgtLaY | arqh0l | {
"description": "not taking my in-laws to the airport",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not taking my in-laws to the airport? | Fairly quick story, I am civil but don’t particularly enjoy my sister and law and brother in law for too long at a time. (Neither does my wife, it’s her sister). They usually just try to get us to go to church (even though he’s had multiple affairs) and don’t have much to bring to the table as far as conversation because it has to to PG 13 always and not controversial or current events. So needless to say I’m annoyed quite often. Today she texted me wife and I asking if we could come pick them up Saturday, take them to the airport, and drive there car back to their house after. I’m 45 min from the airport, and they are 35 min away from me. Probably 2.5 - 3 hour trip now. We said they could come to us or pay (54 bucks/w) to park there. And yes they can easily afford it. She’s now pissed at us and it always causes issues with their family. My wife and I feel as if we’re always made out to be the bad guys, mainly cause we don’t go to church. Am I the asshole for not being courteous to give them a ride on a Saturday morning and doing a favor, and instead requesting they come to my house? What’s etiquette here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SVCIFZ4Cu5xM2D5xJj4ZdZ6EspFninaR | anij2r | {
"description": "being flirted with, and liking it",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being flirted with, and liking it? | I broke up with my long term girlfriend of 8 years last December. we are kind of getting along easily now and still living together as were in a lease. she is more broken up about this all than I am, and it's not like I'm over it either, but the other day this guy flirted with me (im bi, she knows) and I mentioned something about it, she said "is he flirting with you?".
this is the point where I was supposedly smiling about it and I looked a little happy. she immediately gets quiet and starts saying things about how she is upset about it, not actually telling me the reasoning she has. this guy was a mutual inclusion we had to our list of people we would sleep with at work, so I didn't think it'd be weird. thanks in advance guys and gals. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yCO7fLFjugjO7AnaCsVa8SOSIMhVCEvC | b28egg | {
"description": "asking to be reimbursed for his food",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 194
} | AITA for asking to be reimbursed for his food? | So this is all so stupid, but it started an argument and I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable.
At noon my boyfriend and I were hungry. I was craving Taco Bell and he wanted 5 guys. I offered to go pick them up. I got our meals and came back. I handed him his receipt. He didn’t really get it so I asked him to pay me back.
He asked me if I was serious. He then went on about how he pays for all our dates and nights out and has never asked for a dime. Which is true, but to me that’s different. Those are times that he is taking me out. Furthermore if he had ever asked me to split the bill I would have gladly, he just always picks up the check. That’s his choice.
Another thing is that he makes a lot more money than I do. $20 for him is a lot different than $20 for me. He ended up giving me the money, but now he’s being moody and not talking to me besides one word answers.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 191,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 194
} | WRONG |
b6RtOO1kbpbyRb1S5ay3aqnd50A58LV5 | b93go8 | {
"description": "leaving my canister with water on the sink in order to remove the fat",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for leaving my canister with water on the sink in order to remove the fat? | I work in a company that has only 10 employees and different from most people here, I bring my food from home inside a little canister.
Usually when I finish lunching I leave my canister with water to remove all the fat that the food leaves in it, alright. Then this guy that is a little bit arrogant sometimes saw that and said "Didn't the manager said to do not leave things in the sink?" and I said "Yeah, but I explained her that I clean few hours later to remove fat" and he said with a higher tone of voice "Doesn't matter! This is disrespectful! What if I want to fill my glass of water?"
I decided to keep quiet to avoid the discussion, so I went there and took out the canister from the sink and put in my bag, even knowing that is still with some fat that eventually I would take off later. Anyways I felt so embarassed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
WE3rPo33Qa9zFr71OzcaN9g0VgOiymQA | a8nv8u | {
"description": "not deleting pictures of my ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not deleting pictures of my ex | The other day i let my girlfriend look through my phones pictures, she wanted to send pictures of both of us to her own phone. However, she managed to come across old photos of me and my ex and she got very pissed off, not because she didnt know they were there, Ive been quite open about them before, but because i hadnt deleted them. I never touched these pictures because
1) i couldnt be bothered to comb through all my photos looking for pictures of my ex
2) because i never liked the thought of deleting photos as they are reminders of the past and memories at the end of the day personally.
However this has caused her to believe that I’m still not over her and worries her a lot. Granted ive been very aware that my girlfriend is not fond of my ex in the slightest, so I know that any sort of reminder to her would piss her off, but due to how personal photos are, i never took her feelings about them into consideration.
Dont get me wrong, I’ve deleted the pictures now, but WIHBTA if i kept them or is it really as bad as it seems?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
2D6fWe12kUWE0sl7xUsh3PgOifeO33Pf | 9up3p5 | {
"description": "not following the rule \"speak only in superlatives or do not speak at all\" after someone's death",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not following the rule "Speak only in superlatives or do not speak at all" after someone's death? | It happened a while ago, but it still bugs me.
There was a guy, I knew. He was a step father to my ex.
He was an extreme alcoholic, who would steal from his own house and family (wife and kids) just to have money for alcohol. His daughters saw him at his worst. He got kicked out of house by wife multiple times after he lost his job due to alcoholism and left her alone with all life expenses as well as some debt. He was not a bad person per se, he clearly lost to his inner demons. Yet as a result he made everyone around hate him, including his daughters not wanting to see him anymore.
At some point he has commited suicide. Suddenly everyone started behaving as if he was a saint or martyr. As if he was a pure good, just put in unfavorable situation that overwhelmed him. They started taking blame for everything that happened to him despite the fact that it absolutely wasnt their fault. They even tried to help him while he was alive but he refused to see the issue.
And so I have told my ex, that he has brought it upon himself. That his story was sad, as he wasn't bad guy but I do not feel bad for him as his own actions led to this. He refused their help and she should not guilt herself foe his death.
She was the only one I told that. The hell that broke loose... Was extreme. Until the very end of relationship few months later she did not forgive me.
Am I the asshole for my approach? I tried to be understanding, but at the same not let my ex fall into the spiral of guilt and sadness. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
NGZ9kbs5BJPRxhK92LDUMENwPgsfM4zC | ah8bn5 | {
"description": "making my sister cry",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for making my sister cry? | So this story is a bit strange. This all starts with Nail clippers, and a bad day Which is too long to pun on here, so I'm gonna start with the clippers. We have 3 Nail clippers in our house. I'm 16, she's 14, btw. Anyway, I need these nail clippers and I've been looking for them for a week. Yesterday I need a Sharpie as mine dried out and as I open her drawer there they are. All 3 of them. I take all 3 and leave the room, enraged. I had asked her about their location a few times during the week and she kept telling me she had no Idea where they were.
I cool down a bit and after she gets home from school after her practice. I bring it up with her and ask why she didn't give me any and she started to cuss and shout about how I disrespected her privacy and how I shouldn't have taken any of the stuff in her room, while simultaneously telling me to go kill myself. So I thrust 1 clipper in her direction and tell her to get out of my face because she disrespected me. Later I can hear her going on Instagram and snapchat, calling her friends and telling them what an "Ugly little S**t" I am, how I don't deserve a life and all that. I walk into her room and ask why she's taking the piss out of me. She said that she wasn't and that I invaded her privacy again. She threatened to tell our parents about me being in her room, but I took her phone. After all the sh*t I took today, I couldn't take anymore. I think I go overboard and tell her she's a spoiled b*tch who's a waste of space on this world. After she grabbed her phone again and I leave the room, like five minutes after that She starts she tries to take me out of the room, but I'm mad at this point and take her phone out of her hands, and throw it out a window. She screamed at me and went to go get it. It was also snowing, so she took a while to get to the area where I threw it.
She runs inside crying and runs straight into her room. It's fine, nothing happened to her phone, but I feel guilty about what happened. Am I the asshole for going overboard on a bad day and making my sister cry? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
PSUPTOaD0jANyeze2oaVSWBPuk9TfKd5 | azp0jf | {
"description": "cutting out my brothers friend because of what he did to me when drunk",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for cutting out my brothers friend because of what he did to me when drunk? | Ltl, ftp, on mobile.
So my (28F) brother (24M) has a friend (call him Jack(24M)) with a drinking problem that we (my family) have known about for a long time and have tried to give him help to stop it. My brother and Jack are close, and naturally I’m friends with him too due to us all being in the same high school & him always being over.
This weekend Jack got drunk, as he always does. And I slept on one of the couches in the basement, and he slept on the other. I got to bed at around 3? Maybe 4? And from what I understand they went to sleep at around 6.
At roughly 8AM I woke up to Jack urinating on me.
I’m not a light sleeper. But thank god I’m up at around 8 regardless of when I go to bed. According to my family the blood curdling scream I released was enough to wake the dead with fear. If it wasn’t for the fact that the dogs we own were sleeping in my parents bed they wouldn’t have believed me while I was freaking out.
I had a massive panic/anxiety attack due and spent roughly an hour sobbing in the bathroom (I have PTSD due to being attacked 10 years ago and it was a major trigger)
I’ve cut the friend out of my life, essentially. He’s no longer allowed over/to spend the nights. None of my brothers friends are allowed to drink when they’re here. And Jack has to pay my mother back for the couch being professionally cleaned.
In all of this I feel really bad for Jack, but he remembered everything when he woke up (he went right back to sleep after the whole thing), so I also don’t feel bad at all. My mother thinks I’m overreacting and being an asshole by not wanting anything to do with him, but even seeing him when he left caused me to freak out & since it happened I’ve been very.... not well, mentally.
Am I the asshole because I don’t want to have anything to do with Jack? Or am I being too hard on him?
Idk I’m still in shock I guess..
Just want to clarify I’m not looking for advice, I just want to know if I’m the Asshole or not in this case of not forgiving and forgetting | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
NI9pxfJimI8e4x8ewJwZOjTmZqo6Cdi5 | aes5ip | {
"description": "being angry at my gf for not wanting to have penetrative sex with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For being angry at my gf for not wanting to have penetrative sex with me. | So I know this is going to sound like a SHP, and I know many are going to call it that anyway, but this is really my life. From a young age I have always been freakishly tall. I was 6'0 at 14. I am now bordering on 7 feet at 22. My growth has slowed down considerably, which I am thankful for, but throughout my life I have been struggling.
I know a lot of guys want to be taller. In reality, you feel very strange around your friends when you're growing up, and your family photos when you're a child make you look like a monster with a childs face and a mans body. I am also very shy despite what people think and I was verbally bullied at times based on my height and lankiness in highschool. I have to eat a lot of food to put on weight. I eat almost 4,000 calories a day to maintain my average build.
Now I have started working out to increase my self esteem and I eat almost 5,000 a day. I weigh 320 pounds more or less. I can't go on many rides at theme parks and there are many activities I miss out on. Driving is terrible unless im in a larger pick up truck with cab space, which is very expensive. I don't have too many friends.
Women are also intimidated by me. I have a nice face on my profile but when we meet up they are very taken aback and quiet. They don't enjoy being around me. That all changed when I met my girlfriend who is 5'10, but has been amazing to me.
We have been dating for almost a year and have only been able to penetrate her a few times. My penis is too big for her she says. I measured it at fully erect and I am bordering on nine inches when hard, a little less. The thickness is also an issue since I can only get myself "in" maybe an inch or two before she starts complaining.
We have settled into her giving me oral sex, which I do enjoy somewhat and but that she REALLY enjoys. She is very enthusiastic to put it mildly, and she also expects me to be as enthusiastic when I give her oral sex which I also dont like that much but I do it to make her happy.
However as a man I have a deep desire to penetrate a woman, its just a natural feeling. And whenever I sort of lead things that way she rejects me. She has allowed me to rub against her and other things but thats it.
Now everything has gone to a head and she has flat out told me that she does not want me to fuck her, and I am very angry and hurt. I realize that I am not a "normal" man and I don't want to hurt her, but I don't know if I can keep living like this and be happy. I don't enjoy blowjobs nearly as much as she does. I don't enjoy handjobs at all, I don't like rubbing against her vagina as its not the same and sort of emasculating.
i also know that she has been penetrated by her smaller boyfriends, but she wont allow me due to my size, which also hurts.
I still think there are other options for us to maybe try penetration, but i am angry that she has shut the door entirely. I am almost thinking about breaking up and trying to find someone else but i do love her.
AITA for being angry that my gf wont try penetrative sex? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
KaoXrvP9wiZoeeHeTZ22MFKLEQUXlTRv | 9x4hdp | {
"description": "telling my supervisor about a coworker taking tips",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for telling my supervisor about a coworker taking tips | I’ve recently started working at a gas station, the gas station offers a service where an employee will come outside and fill your tank and clean your windshield. It is policy at my company that we don’t accept tips as the service we offer is free of charge. Even when they persist on giving tips we are suppose to hand them into our manager who will spend it on buying pizza for everyone or on a party type thing. I saw my coworker take money and pocket it so I told my manager and it may have gotten him fired. Although I’m sure he didn’t harm anyone by taking the tip it’s unfair that everyone puts their tips in while he takes his. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
6UdTvSsQTXdhqvjsMSO6ZTFfLyhliGAt | b7dvis | {
"description": "getting this tattoo",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for getting this tattoo? | A few years back my best friend took his own life, and the last words of his note were "save the world, kill yourself" so I got a razor blade tattoo on my wrist (his method) along with his last words. It was done to honor my friends memory, I asked his parents if itd be alright and they gave me the go ahead, but without knowing the backstory i've been called out for having it. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
awI0mlmKXnzspMHJmOua41R1pHJ5iphA | a2ttbl | {
"description": "doing drugs even though my gf doesnt want me to",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA For doing drugs even though my gf doesnt want me to? | Ive been dating my gf (we're both 16) for about 4 months now, and its been pretty great, the only downside is that shes really very against drugs, literally anything except alchol, including cigarettes. I dont even do anything that much, but because im attracted to some harder drugs( like molly, coke) she freaks out. Ik i shouldnt be doing it yah wtv , i personally feel like doing stuff like that every other weekend isnt that bad. They only fights weve ever had have been about my drug use and its frustrating both of us. I feel shitty cuz i keep telling her im gonna stop when ik deep down in my heart i dont want to, and she kinda knows that to. Two days ago i got drunk and snorted adderal, and i was gonna tell her when we met up this week but one of her friends told her and now she thinks I was lying. Its really shitty because asidrs from this its really a perfect relationship. She keeps saying how its like im choosing drugs over her but its really not that, i dont see ehy i should have to choose. Right now i just got off the phone with her and I feel fucking terrible cuz ik me doing it stresses her out and causrs her trouble, and i dont know what to do. We're still together but with new years coming up I know im going to be tempted and its going to be another fight.... i love her but unless one of us budges its just gonna get worse.
Edit : I broke up with her... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
sAj5hWivf58Tv7uzvUqVblVarLybSPZl | aop40d | null | AITA: Daughter is needy when sick. Dad disagrees. | AITA: My daughter (9) has the flu. This is her first major illness ever. Generally she’s a really independent kid, but since she’s been sick she wants to stay with me all the time. We’ve always been close but this is new. Am I wrong for letting her? I haven’t changed my routine. When I need to do things, I do them. Again, we’re close so sticking with me when she feels sick makes sense to me. My husband, whose opinion I respect , thinks I’m babying her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mjP93ojit6zUXYrTnLmw55Jj7ivAREvi | ayu6lx | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that her calling me is boring",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA if I told my girlfriend that her calling me is boring | I have a girlfriend and we work pretty well together. Talking is fun and interesting. However, talking on the phone with her us the most boring thing on earth. We work so well because we feed of the energy we give to each other. When it's on the phone, it's pretty much silence. Save for a few things said every few minutes. The worst part is that her phone quality is potato level. I can't undestand a word she says.
Would I be the asshole for telling her that her calls are boring
How should I phrase it? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
gJuBW1rSnrWGeocyaA9izlBNKLrfOIV7 | aok0gt | {
"description": "not giving Nmom FA info so she can file her taxes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving Nmom FA info so she can file her taxes? | Really not going that much into detail on this sub regarding the relationship of my mother. But recently she’s just been plain manipulative and evil to me and trying to turn anyone that gullible enough to buy into her bullshit stories about me against me. When I was living with her she would just take 60% of my school refunds and use it on herself which annoyed the hell outta me. Now she’s emailing me since I blocked her on SM and my phone hounding me about this FA tax info. She also called other relatives of mines telling them to tell me to give her my FA info for her taxes. From what I learned is that she doesn’t even need my FA to file her taxes. It just gives her a good deduction so she can get more $$. Haven’t responded to any of her emails. Don’t think I plan to either.
For people that don’t know what The N in mom is, it’s stands for Narcissistic. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4Cg6uCgojRT4fxWg4t9LMvD4MBDCWbrB | b9agma | {
"description": "denying my mum from seeing my sisters",
"pronormative_score": 81,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for denying my mum from seeing my sisters | I have only just made this account so I could post this but I've been a lurker for a while.
So... this is a very complicated situation but I'm at a loss and been told I am both the asshole and not the asshole for doing this.
Back story here; I currently have full custody of both my little sisters (ages 17 (we'll call her Amy) and 8 (Liza) while I am 29 and male) I fought extremely hard for months to get my sisters in my care too as I come from a long line of entitled people (the kindest way I can put it), I have multiple uncles/grandparents who felt they were entitled to... Amy's body and Liza's too once she was 10...
I'd moved out of home 7 years ago and I was honestly really slack in keeping contact with my family as I moved far away for school and work. I came back to visit just under 6 years later and situation I came home to find my parents were allowing Amy to be physically abused (to put out a sliver of it out there, they would use her allergies to torture her into compliance) so I do what in necessary and get Amy and Liza put in my custody (if you want the whole story I might put it in Entitled parents but that part isn't what this sub is for)
Now, for the title of my post. A few weeks ago, my mum contacts me though facebook, asking to meet me and only me for a talk. I oblige and met with my mum. She explained she was divorcing my father and cutting ties with his family (the side of my family who was allowing this to happen.) She explains that after she got pregnant with me she felt forced to marry my father, how she never wanted that life for my sisters and how she wanted to mend her relationship with Amy who still has an array of issues from her treatment and I gave her a flat out no, she would never see Amy or Liza again and if she tried, I would get a restraining order as everything I've heard from Amy showed that my mum never even felt concerned for her health or wellbeing during the time I was away.
Am I the asshole for wanting to keep her out of my sisters life? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 81,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 81,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5DIrCay7wLs2VlHdGdDbipKKJmkLHV3E | b4r38y | {
"description": "getting offended by and calling out my boyfriend for calling me a pussy",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting offended by and calling out my boyfriend for calling me a pussy? | The other night my boyfriend and I were drinking some wine and he was trying to tease me and tell me to drink more to catch up with him. I said I was good at first, and then he said "Pussy." It caught me off guard and I asked if he was being serious and he just laughed and said "dont be a pussy".
I was deeply hurt and offended by this, because in my mind, pussy is a misogynist term when used in the context of an insult (ie meant to insunate weakness, since it is equating female genitals with weakness). I tried to explain to him that using the term pussy to mean coward is no different than using the word gay to mean stupid, or throwing around the N-word so casually.
His defense was that he had never considered it to be derogatory before, and he has heard several people, including women, use this word and call him a pussy. He said it's so normalized in slang in our culture that he didn't really think it was that big of a deal to use it. He also said he had never had anyone call him out for using the word before, and that my reaction was the first of its kind he'd ever seen. He also felt I overreacted by being offended by the word.
We had a conversation about sexism, feminism, and racism and eventually he apologized and said he understood why I was offended. But I am curious if I did in fact over react and if I shouldn't have been so hurt by it (mainly because he is not the type to usually use language like that either).
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
JuH0RYaH8mSY4Q79r4PHdUI0tUkIM3W1 | a47jux | {
"description": "touching someone's crotch during a hookup when they didn't want it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for touching someone’s crotch during a hookup when they didn’t want it | I know the title may seem incriminating already, but let me get into more detail. Ok so with the me too movement and the accusations against people like Neil deGrasse Tyson, I realize that I may not know exactly what creepy behavior is like. So I am worried that I hurt someone without knowing.
Basically I met up with this girl on tinder. We met at my apartment and we shared some weed. We both got rather high. Eventually we started cuddling which led to rubbing and eventually making out. I constantly was asking her if she was comfortable throughout. I then reached my hand lower and started to rub her crotch. She moved my hand away. I didn’t put my hand there again. After we continued to make out I asked her if she wanted to go further she said no and I said ok. I called her an Uber and she went home. She said she had a good time and wanted to meet up again later. I tried to text her and we did for a little bit, but for some reason or another, she stopped responding.
It could be because school was starting for her and she became too busy, but I was worried that it could have been the unwanted crotch rubbing (even if it was for like a second).
Please tell me, was this sexual assault and extremely creepy behavior? Am I overreacting to this? I’m not really sure how to think about this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4NQjZoySjxR8xLMn1u2Zg3WJ6zVKJklC | b0lmoo | {
"description": "saying something ingame",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying something ingame? | So, this happened about 3 months ago it happened a few weeks before the end of holidays ended (I’m from Australia, so we have just got off summer holidays). A bit of background, I’m 16 and he is 33 ish. Anyway. Onto this amazing story.
What happened originally is we had started playing Rocket League (fairly active community, not that dead yet), we had played a few games, and he had said something which had corresponded to what happened in the game (for example, you’ll never score, and I scored), don’t remember word by word, but I quoted it in game chat and he got super mad, I didn’t understand at the time, so I was confused, he abandoned the match, left discord, completely went offline in a matter of minutes.
This event happened 2 weeks after:
I had called him, trying to sort stuff out (he had been ignoring me 2 weeks now), as soon as I call him he is furious, he explains in great detail how “I was betraying him”, and how “I had ruined his life”, and things about “invading his privacy” or something along those lines, I tried to reason with him, but to no prevail. I had ended up just agreeing with him, just trying to keep the peace between us (we were good mates (2 good years of friendship) but he didn’t care). After this whole ordeal he had decided to take it upon himself to block and remove me, from everything, I have no way to contact him or anything. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PQpojUMjpxHL1mbjrys2wlg8YFlkdz9j | asyrsn | {
"description": "not being smart enough for my group partner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being smart enough for my group partner. | Hello,
I am a senior in college in a advanced analysis class. My partner and I are in a final group together. We are the only group of 2 while everybody else is in groups of 3. We had a similar interest for our project which is why we were grouped together. I am at a very good university but not very smart, and have struggled to make it this far. 2.5 gpa, etc. I can already tell I am intelectually below my partner and she is getting frustrated because it takes me alot longer to finish tasks that she thinks is basic. I am trying my best and am pulling my weight but she is very dissapointed. This project is worth most of the grade in the class. She told the professor and he said he would make a exemption for our group and grade us individually. She is now refusing to work with me at all and joined another group. So here am i without a group. I went to my professor and he said she wasn't allowed to do that and we had to work together and complete a finished project but would grade us indvidually if it was apparent one wasn't pulling weight. my group member blocked me on text and social media and it is impossible to work on the project. AITA for snitching? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pdy1nI5xPY54Ey0VujcRiCnhnxkwY2W7 | atot0p | {
"description": "not helping my boss",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for Not Helping My Boss? | So my boss recently got back from a week long vacation. We work retail, so this was a great break for her. Today we had a closer call in because she is stuck in another state. I was called this morning, my boss asked if I could close tonight. I told her I was not available (I am a student). She huffed and said she was going to have to then work from 8am-9:30pm. I felt so bad but everyone keeps telling me it's not my problem. AITA for not helping her out? I do have school work to do tonight and Friday is my only day off from school and work. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4wUn6alT6ATlnDmHvZlpNRrVWNpXLNx8 | b8my1l | null | AITA for my frugality, and trying to impose financial responsibility on my girlfriend? | My girlfriend (24F) and I (25M) live in a 1 bedroom apartment. She’s a student with a part time job that doesn’t pay much, so my full-time job pays for nearly all of our expenses, including groceries, our apartment, and food/supplies for our 3 cats (19F, 1F, 1M).
I have substantial balances to pay off on a personal credit card and a veterinary care card. Both of my cards will not accrue interest for a few months. I created a budget and plan to pay these off in a timely manner so I can get back to saving money/spending money on nice things for us and myself.
A part of this plan included minimization of fast food, which we had been eating way too much of. That said, I still make exceptions on spending frugally. I’m fine with the occasional get-togethers with friends, the pizza nights, restaurants or drinking with friends at home, etc. She still frequently (though less so recently) asks for fast food or other frivolous purchases. She gets the same thing at most fast food joints. I’ve asked that she just put a substitute like frozen nuggets and fries on our grocery list, so she can have that as a cheaper option. But sometimes if I don't cave in on her request for “real” fast food, she'll insist that she can just get it for herself. However, she has multiple times previously agreed to put what’s left (after her own expenses) of her small income from her part-time job towards expenses or paying off our vet card. Despite buying the requested frozen fries and nuggets, she'll occasionally still insist she wants the actual fast food. I’ll often still refuse, and she’ll insist I’m making too big of a deal out of it. To be clear, we both cook (unlike that other guy with the professional cook/chef girlfriend).
I also really dislike having to say no to her requests. I wish I were in a financial situation where I could just say yes. I'd prefer she respect our financial situation and not put me in a position of feeling a need to say no.
Succinctly: every dollar counts, we should be substituting and finding cheaper options wherever possible. I would really appreciate it if she could adopt this mentality for her money and mine. I can't force her, but it also feels very unreasonable of her to continue pushing the issue on these various fronts, especially when substitutes are so readily available for literally 1/5 the cost. I’m not saying we need to get Walmart-brand “crème-filled chocolate cookies” instead of Oreos. We have bills to pay off, and I haven't been able to save money (or even spend it on frivolous things I might want) in over a year.
Given my financial situation, my disproportionate contribution, and my desire to make us more financially flexible and comfortable through paying off bills and accruing savings:
AITA for imposing my frugality on her? AITA for requesting that she either not spend frivolously or find inexpensive substitutes where possible? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
bJLLwNszcXwmZjIvd5bOzvhtNVqhJxKL | b7nyiy | {
"description": "thinking that my bridesmaid owes me for upstaging and ruining my 30k+ wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 365
} | AITA for thinking that my bridesmaid owes me for upstaging and ruining my 30k+ wedding?? | My now husband and I got married 1.5 months ago. We had 6 people on each side of the bridal party. This wedding took 3 full years to plan and prepare for. When I got engaged, most of the bridesmaids were very single, including Anna, the "star" of this story. Two of them were in long term relationships. I wanted to just give the two partnered bridesmaids plus ones. Anna seemed offended by this, because my wedding was then years off, and she was actually dating her now husband at the time (though it was casual.
I eventually got pushed by my mother to give all of them plus ones. Anna actually continued to date that guy, and married him four months before my wedding at two months pregnant. She brought her new husband as her plus one (who I never met prior) and convinced one of the other bridesmaids to take her friend as hers (when she KNEW we didn't like him).
She was hugely pregnant, and didn't refrain from showing it off. We're both fairly young (25) and in my husband's culture, getting pregnant before late 20s/30s, married or not, is basically a teenage pregnancy and drew ATTENTION. She also has a vibrant personality and has a way of eclipsing everyone around her. Her husband is also very tall and incredibly attractive, which drew a lot of attention.
All anyone spoke about or of was Anna's pregnancy and her attractive husband. Even in the line, people were asking about that "electric woman" and of her pregnancy/marriage/life. When they got up to dance, all eyes were on them. Anna's friend ended up hooking up with my brother, outing him as gay and causing a huge scandal.
I ended up leaving midway through the reception in tears, and never attended the next morning's brunch. Anna and her entourage left early the next morning and also didn't attend. I can't even look at the pictures without crying and desperately want a do over.
I'm not a bridezilla, but this was beyond the pale. It felt like a celebration of Anna's marriage. I'm sorry, but I put so much planning, effort, and money into this while someone that got pregnant without a thought and married spur of the moment reaped the benefits.
I honestly feel like Anna owes me a wedding and did all of this as revenge for me offending her years ago. Am I wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 361,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 6
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 365
} | WRONG |
awUmufDDb6WyhpdxWLi897no6eNX1jU2 | 9zz7fr | {
"description": "not wanting to be around my husbands family as much",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be around my husbands family as much | Long post
Honestly I don’t know if I’m the asshole or not
Basically, my husband (31) and I(25) have been together for a few years, but just got married this spring. We have two daughters and we are pretty damn happy IMO. Except for when it comes to his family, particularly his sister.
His sister (27) and her husband (31) are the type of couple that literally thinks their shit doesn’t stink and they know everything about everything and they always the smartest in the room and everything revolves around them. And his sister treats his mom like shit, it’s honestly disgusting.
Well I got along with both his sister and her husband until my husband and I got married. And then I don’t know if his sister got jealous or something because she and my husband were pretty close, she was even his best man. But all of a sudden she just started treating me like shit too.
Her and her husband drink all the time, definitely borderline alcoholics, and they pop pills and do occasional cocaine. Yet when I started to drink at a party his family was hosting, his sister got in my face and basically told me that I wasn’t allowed to drink. And when I ignored her she started treating me like a i was disobedient dog that she was trying to train. The next weekend we had our annual float trip for my husbands family, and once again, everytime his sister and her husband came anywhere near me the insults started again. At one point that started using my name instead of the word poop/shit (“I took a giant Raehbot this morning”) it was completely childish but still upsetting. Later on the float trip, my kayak crashed and I got really hurt. I could barely walk. When we all got back to his moms house, I pulled out my sandwich I had brought with me, because his mom never cooks anything I can eat, and started eating my sandwich before I limped to bed to try to sleep in massive amounts of pain. And his sister just laid into my about how rude it was that I brought my own food. His mom told her to leave me alone but that was my final straw, I told my husband that he needed to say something to her. Because she clearly doesn’t care what I think so me saying something to her would literally do nothing except make it worse. My husband never said anything to her.
About a month later is was my birthday and I was really excited because my birthdays had usually sucked (my mom is straight out of a r/raisedbyanarcassit post) and my husband was planning a party for me since it was my first birthday as his wife. And then his sister who knew about my party for a couple of months, planned a last minute float trip the day of my party so that people wouldn’t come to my party. I told my husband that he had to say something. So he sent her this long message that basically said “I don’t really want to send this message but I’m being forced too” and needless to say it did basically nothing. The next time I say her about 2 months later, her husband was out of town with work and she was pretty tolerable. So I tried to just drop everything. A few days later her husband just randomly posted on Facebook insulting my husband, calling him unclean and a bad dad. My husband did literally nothing to deserve it. And it was out of the blue. And I defended my husband. Which made his sister and her husband both lay into me insulting me, etc etc. and I told my husband that I was done with them. I wasn’t going to be around them anymore. Not forever, just until I either got an apology or until I stopped fuming with anger at the thought of them.
I’ve spent most of my life dealing with unfair and cruel behavior because of my mom and I’m not going to take it from a spoiled entitled sister in law and her equally as bad husband. I need a break from them for my own mental health, and everyone I’ve talked to is on my side, even my mother in law.
And the other thing is, I love my mother in law and i love spending time with her but I hate going to her house because I don’t eat pork and everytime we go visit her that’s all she cooks so I got a full weekend or longer with barely being able to eat and it makes me sick. I can bring some snacks for myself but not much. So I want to spend time with her, I’d just prefer she come to us so I don’t have to starve myself. But still I suck it up most of time and still go to her house for the big events and go hungry. But I’ve taking a little break from going there so I don’t have to see his sister and her husband. We have only missed one event, which I told my husband he could still attend but he chose not too.
But now all of a sudden he is mad at me for keeping him from his family. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
8UlTrcPVsSJ7dMROhLMti4FVVlXmztcp | b6z698 | {
"description": "excluding/not inviting my boyfriend's brother on a trolley/bike pub for my birthday? Boyfriend's brother is a self-admitted alcoholic",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for excluding/not inviting my boyfriend’s brother on a trolley/bike pub for my birthday? Boyfriend’s brother is a self-admitted alcoholic. | Backstory: brother is a self-admitted alcoholic and addicted to being high. He was going to AA for awhile but relapsed and started drinking again.
Like the title says, for my upcoming birthday I reserved one of those bike/trolley pubs for some of my friends. We did a private reservation versus joining a mix group of people. This means we’re paying for the whole trolley, regardless if all the seats are filled or not.
At the last minute a couple had to back out, leaving 2 extra seats. I was discussing this with my boyfriend and he suggested inviting his brother. I said I didn’t think it was smart to put his brother in this situation, given his background. Boyfriend agreed but also said he feels badly that’s we’re excluding him. We hang out with his brother on a regular enough basis that typically I wouldn’t hesitate inviting him to my birthday, so that’s not an issue.
I don’t think it’s very smart to invite someone battling alcoholism to an event that’s catering towards drinking for a few hours, even to just be “included.” I don’t think it’s responsible to even put someone in that situation.
AITA for choosing to exclude him from this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Ti3CVKG4b8IhGlZNoNxese2aRSixPecb | amylvu | {
"description": "not carrying a lazy ass through a group project",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not carrying a lazy ass through a group project? | For context, I'm in my 3rd year of university as an Accounting and Finance student and was at a point where all the following students enroll in a course where a 4-staged project constitutes over 60% of the total course grade.
Because the project is extremely difficult to do alone we get assigned 3 random group members, 2 of which in my case were decent but 1 was just unbelievably dumb and lazy.
About 2 months into the project the lazy ass claims he has been diagnosed in pneumonia, which I call bullshit on but give him the benefit of the doubt as long as he provides a proper medical report, so I can claim to the administrator that any shortcoming in the project was due to the fact we were short on 1 team member.
Surprise surprise the lazy ass gets all defensive about this and just says "we should believe him" and therefore also cover his part of the project, to which I very bluntly claimed fuck no.
So while we did do his part (we had to submit a completed Project) we sent evidence of the group members laziness, the amount of work he contributed and his supposedly false claims. Needless to say the lazy ass got a 15% overall in that course.
So now the lazy ass is trying to shame me publicly just because I was unwilling to compromise based solely what he claimed to us. On top of this he claims I cost him his scholarship, which I really do not see as being my problem.
Which now brings the question, AITA?
tldr; group member claims false illness, no one in the group compromises based on my decision, group member ends up failing the course horribly and apparently losing his scholarship.
Sorry for the bad English, it's my 2nd language. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
68JBW9IE0PZBK49JPA0Kvqung9IIUjew | ab3p0b | {
"description": "making my coworker stay late with me to clean up",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making my coworker stay late with me to clean up? | I work in retail and today my other managers left a huge pile of boxes and trash on the floor and asked me and the closing staff to pick them up before we left (why they didnt just do it while they were working, IDK).
It was a rough night because we were down a person and while my coworker was taking out the trash, the bag burst and a coffee with one of the other managers names on it spilled all over her. They know better than to put full cups in the trash so she was pissed and refused to throw away their boxes and trash.
I was running around all night doing closing stuff and helping our cashier who is new, so i didn't realize they weren't gone until the end of the night.
Technically, we're scheduled until 10, but shouldnt leave until the work is done (we clock out before we leave so we get paid for the extra few minutes). Since the boxes weren't done, i decided i had to do them but coworker was really upset.
She was mad that they dumped it on us and that they caused her to get coffee all over herself and said i should just leave them.
I said that i felt i had to because our store manager opens tomorrow and he would be pissed at *me,* not her, about the boxes.
To which she said that i should just tell him that she wouldn't do it and he should talk to her about it.
But i know in his eyes, it doesn't matter, I'm the manager-on-duty so it's my job to make sure the store is clean at night.
I would have done them on my own and just let her go home, but i can't be the only person in the store when we close, as a company policy. She had to stay.
I feel bad that she had to stay and she's really upset with me about the whole situation. I feel like it's not wrong of me to want the store clean so i don't get yelled at about it.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
I5eb6k9WnVsFztyBvWjjwjAVdPfrSrGX | a02xyp | {
"description": "telling my friend (also ex) I'm uncomfortable with his new relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my friend (also ex) I'm uncomfortable with his new relationship | Okay so this is kind of complicated. I'll try to summarize best I can.
My friend and I were in a short relationship, and we weren't that obvious about it, so I don't even think our other friends really knew. It wasn't a very serious relationship. One day he has this heart-to-heart with me and it results in us breaking up amicably. We're still really good friends.
The thing is that he probably thought the break up was mutual because he kind of hinted that he would stay with me if I asked, but I acted like I was fine and sort of encouraged the break up because I knew he wasn't really into it anymore. But actually I was crushed and didn't want to break up; I just didn't want him to feel bad because he's been really good to me.
Anyway so like a month later I find out he has just started dating one of our mutual friends. I thought I'd be fine with it but I wasn't. I had prepared myself for him to get with others, but I think I was just messed up over it because it was this specific friend I was insecure about when we were together. He always seemed to favor her, and I even sort of asked one time if he was interested in her. He assured me he wasn't, so the fact that he ended up dating her anyway just made me damn insecure. I want to tell myself that he just happened to change his mind in the time we broke up, but I can't help wondering if he had wanted to be with her all along and felt trapped by me.
Anyway I don't hate that mutual friend or anything, she doesn't know about the whole thing and she's a super great friend. I'm actually really happy for her. They're really good together. Better than I ever was with him, which is kind of bittersweet for me.
I didn't want to tell him I was sad, but honestly when I found out (she had casually mentioned it to me), I burst out crying. I thought I should tell him, since it felt like something I shouldn't hide, so I did.
But now I sort of regret it and wonder if it would have been better if I had just kept it to myself. It's not his job to make me accept his new relationship, and I know he feels super shitty after I told him. I feel like an asshole for stressing him out over this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
JMuX9sGAjm0uhwmekDw5iacvXAXqz7h0 | axox98 | {
"description": "notifying a stray cat watch group on my neighbor's cat",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 30
} | AITA for notifying a stray cat watch group on my neighbor’s cat? | In the summer in our fenced in back yard we had a bunny give birth to 4 baby bunny’s. It was super cute. They weren’t even afraid of us. We would throw them baby carrots sometimes. Over the course of the summer I had to clean up their bodies because the neighbor’s cat kept killing them.
I spoke to the neighbor about it. She was so nasty about it. Very hostile. All 4 of the baby rabbits got their heads chewed off.
I tried to let it go, but now the cat is killing crows. I love crows. I always throw some food out for them when the snow really hits. I came out yesterday however and saw neighbor’s cat dragging a crow threw our fence.
So I reported a stray to this local stray cat watch group on Facebook. A woman came to my door and asked where I usually see it. Then placed a bated trap in my backyard. She asked me to called her if the cat gets trapped. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 30
} | WRONG |
LuXyb81Ao87srkvFedA7e7Wuab5HBgFw | avw6en | {
"description": "not apologizing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not apologizing? | Before I start the story, I wanna get some things out of the wat first.
I'm on the bus and I'm on mobile right now, so I'm sorry for any formatting or any spelling mistakes.
I've been depressed lately due to unrelated reasons, this'll be important later.
Now, on to the story!
I'm 15 and I'm a sophomore in high school. This all happened in Biology class, my last class of the day. I was messing around with a rubber band. I put it on a corner of a table and stretched it back until it broke, and it went flying. Well, you see, it hit someone, and I directly looked at who it hit. It hit this girl I don't know well. Now, I'm not the confrontational type of person, I'm incredibly shy and anxious so I acted like I didn't see the girl. Later, the teacher sent us out to different stations to look at onion cells and how they look after, during, and before Mitosis. I got paired with 2 girls. Little did I know, the girl i hit was housed right next to the station I'm at. She notices me and immediately starts talking to me. (G for girl, me for me, obviously.)
G: Were you the one who hit me with the rubber band?
Me: *flustered* Y-yes...
G: *in a rude tone* You didn't apologize to me.
Me: (At this point I was tired, flustered, and depressed so I was experiencing plenty of emotions) *I guess in a tired, but un-meaningful tone* Look, I'm sorry that I hit you with a rubber band, it was on accident. (At this point I tried to explain how the band flew across the room, she then cuts me off)
G: *in an even more pissy tone* How would you feel if I slapped you, and didn't apologize? Rude little boy...
At that point I didn't say anything else.
Class went on as usual, and I thought about posting here, and well, here I am.
So, Reddit, AITA??
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
3iZAGc7xZnSRYs2ubw7sM7X6VAnwIUp3 | ardftw | {
"description": "wanting to get out of the military early",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting to get out of the military early? | I’m gonna to try to make this short. I joined the USCG over a year and a half ago so I could go to college without obtaining massive amounts of debt, obtain a steady paycheck and serve my country. After I’m out I want to be a police officer. I was told when I got to my unit that I would be set up with an educational service officer to start online classes, but that was never handled by my superiors as well as not having time too with our mission . My roommate who I was forced to live with was smoking and selling weed out of government housing, and when I finally worked up the nerve to say something about it I was entangled into the investigation, piss tested, and interrogated without any proof of me doing anything wrong. To top it all off, we went without pay all last month because of the government shutdown. It’s not that I don’t like my job, it’s just the USCG hasn’t held up they’re end of the bargain. I’m tired of being 800 miles away from my family and fiancé doing a job I have no way out of. TLDR- I want out of the coastguard early, because they haven’t held up they’re end of the bargain for education and pay. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
jOxE951yoHoE3k5dDfIXYnSNSQ4m70dd | ayulwq | {
"description": "hosting bbq and being anti-social",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | Wibta if i hosted bbq and was anti-social? | Wibta my wife's family comes over and acts like they like her just to eat her free food and drink her top shelf liquor and I act cold and emotionless? They show no love towards her, they barely invite her to their functions and yet she's expected to host here and there and puts out one hell of a spread. They show up. They drink all the booze they take inventory assess the situation. They asked a lot of really personal questions and then they lie if not to be heard from again until they want to come over and mooch some more. So I tend to grill for drinks relax keep quiet and I leave them alone. I'm not awkward around them just more like anti-social. It's a quarterly Endeavor that results in fake conversation. They don't really care about us and have never shown otherwise. They're second cousins and there kids and spouses and such. So does this make me the a-hole for being silent? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0QhNF8tvIJOj1UEwwofC3B67eLqta8Xj | ay0ap6 | {
"description": "not sharing my gram's inheritance",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not sharing my gram’s inheritance? | I have 3 much younger half sisters. They were never very close with my grams. I on the other hand was very close to her. Some of my favorite childhood memories are spending time with her.
She passed recently and left me a fair amount of money. To me solely. Two of my sisters feel really jilted about it. My youngest sis doesn’t care that much. Two older ones want me to split the money between the four of us. I don’t want to be greedy, but they barely had a relationship with her. I would call her every week. I even went down and stayed with her for a week and a half when my aunt died to take care of her. I completely understand why she left it to me and not them. I actually cared for her.
I don’t want to split it, but I do see where they are coming from as fair as fairness. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 60,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 60,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HNa7dq9c6UCzh1IY251yS088EMAfR45f | b5h66x | {
"description": "taking back the offer for my best friend to move in with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for taking back the offer for my best friend to move in with me? | So I [m22] will be moving into a house with my good friend Ryan [m23] and his girlfriend. We’ve known each other since childhood and I have no second thoughts on moving in with him.
My best friend Becca [f22] asked if she could move in as well and I didn’t think it through before saying yes. We went 2 months thinking all four of us would be living together. I then realized that I feel like if I lived with Becca we might fight and it would eventually lead to us not being close anymore. We are both each-other’s emotional support system and rely on each other for a lot things. Well I texted this to Ryan and we came to the conclusion that I would just tell Becca that she couldn’t live with us.
Well this is when the story gets interesting: Becca was on my phone and happened to read that text before I told her. She was upset (obviously) but didn’t say anything to me. A few days later she got on my phone and actually put in my passcode to go reread the texts again. She eventually told me that she read the texts and that finalized the decision of me not wanting to move in with her. She said she understood and was fine with it but I definitely feel like there is some built-up disdain.
So am I the asshole for not wanting to move in with her even though we have been best friends for years?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
eNGfwRI4x792l4J9bOhGyftIVo4fIhU0 | b7dm07 | {
"description": "not giving some money back to a guy after I sold him a broken lawn mower",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not giving some money back to a guy after I sold him a broken lawn mower? | A little long but I wanted to document the whole conversation for context and to get accurate judgement from everyone.
I had a broken lawn mower that wouldn't run that I got from my mother. I posted a classified ad at my workplace on our internal posting site and had a hit the same day. We met a few weeks later in person to make the sale. When we met I told him it didn't run and I didn't know why. I pointed out a the control module for the self propelled function was duct taped because I took the bolts out. He asked a few more questions and then gave me $50. I helped him load and then we go our separate ways.
About 45 minutes later I get a text from him saying the control module has a few broken plastic pieces and that bolts won't hold it to the handle. He sends me a few pictures and I look them over. I give him a call immedialty to talk to him about it. After a few minutes I realized that part from the picture was broken and that I didn't mention it in the ad or when we met. He also tell me the speed control selector won't turn to allow the operator select different sel-propelled speeds. I told him I was sorry but I didn't realize that was broken at the time I sold it to him. I asked him what he wanted me to do about it and he said he wanted $20 back. I said no. He freaked out telling me that I he will be "watching out for me" when I post stuff on the internal classified ads at work and making sure to tell people at work I am a dishonest seller.
My though is he bought a mower that he knew before hand that didn't run. He was expecting to do a little work to the mower so a couple extra pieces to fix isn't that big of a deal. I was asking $75 and came down to $50 for him. I also traveled 20 minutes to meet him in the town we work in.
AITA here for keeping the $50 instead of giving him $20 back?
Info: Troy Built 725ex 190cc Self Propelled Mower. My cousin bought it for $450 6 years ago. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
tLNPrNLcyp3UKhtW7oa4EbuLnKWg0e5u | ax3sf2 | {
"description": "wanting to cut all contact with my parents",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to cut all contact with my parents? | Apologies for long post.
My father was physically abusive to both myself and my mother, my first memory is of him hitting me. After they split he only made one swing at me when I was 15, but acted really creepy towards me, including following all of my buses home from college on his bike without me knowing, and checking me after I showered (up to when I was a teenager) to make sure I was “clean enough”, once making me shower four times in a row because I didn’t meet his standards. (Him calling me “faggot” every five minutes was mild in comparison.)
My mother became increasingly overbearing - walking me to and from school (when I was a teenager), and even as I got older I wasn’t allowed to dress myself, choosing my outfits every morning down to the socks. As I matured it became more and more of a burden. She didn’t have very much luck with men, and when she eventually got rejected, used me as a kind of emotional leaning post, telling me it’s my job “to make your mother feel better”. I was always happy to cheer her up, but constantly taking care of her when she got dumped seemed almost pointless, as she never let me cry to her like this, telling me to “man up”. Just before I turned 11, she got a job as a catering assistant at my school, originally I thought nothing of it but she eventually got contact numbers for all of my teachers, and spoke to my head of year regularly to make sure I wasn’t “causing any trouble”.
She later got with this guy (we’ll call him P) in late 2013, and very quickly moved in with him, taking me with her. Right from the beginning P only let me eat one meal a day, locked me in the house while nobody else was in, blocked me from the Internet (when I had assignments due) and made me shower in cold water (I was a “drain on resources”). He took my TV away, as well as my phone and laptop every night. Mum never stepped in, and when P eventually kicked me out, spent the entire night crying and begging HIM not to leave her.
I eventually found out that when she moved out with P, she took all the money from my savings account (in early 2014). I also happened to find out that they got themselves into £20k’s worth of debt by taking out loans they couldn’t afford to pay back, ending up with a county court summons. (Not helped by P’s refusal to get a job for over a year). I firmly believe that they only wanted me there to help them pay their rent and bills.
I don’t blame my mum for what’s happened to her, but I don’t think I can ever forgive her for just standing by while my mental state got worse and worse.
I live in a house share a few miles away, but I’ve secured a place at a university even further away and I plan on moving near there, and changing my number and email address without telling them. I feel awful for even thinking about it, but it’s my last resort and I feel the only way that I can actually be happy.
TL;DR: Parents were dicks, mum stole money from me and wouldn’t support me, I want to cut all contact with them | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IsWLhKJ5SyVlOPzlzhTF0OPEJF7YcO2f | 9zg4ve | {
"description": "being to confront a friend about being real",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if i were to confront a friend about being real? | So, i have a couple "friends" that i hang out with but they sometimes seem to avoid me or only hang out w/ me when they're extremely bored.
I want to confront them but don't want them to get mad or end it. Wibta?
If you need some more details just ask specifically.
peace. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jtTqT6hOd0RZ0wRdu4eLEaN3KFWsuLIS | aqsq41 | {
"description": "worrying about a kid spending $2000 for roses for the school",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for worrying about a kid spending $2000 for roses for the school | So today is Valentine’s Day, and there was a nice kid who decided that he wanted to get roses for everyone so no one felt left out. Now, he meant EVERYONE. There are nearly 2000 student and staff here, and he bought real roses for about $1 each online.
This seemed fine, until he went around asking for donations and admitted to me that he had to borrow money. And this was where I began to express my concern. I worried that this kid was going to get 2 Gs deep and not be able to do anything about it. He’s a senior almost on his way to college, from a less fortunate family.
Now, I went about expressing my concern the wrong way, because I hadn’t fully thought out my words. I ended up saying, “He could’ve done something more beneficial with that money. Maybe he could’ve looked after himself instead of getting all those roses.” Like an idiot, I tried to correct myself but really only made my position look worse. It ended up sounding like I didn’t think this kid was being nice just to be nice.
After the misunderstanding I was frustrated that I couldn’t get my point across and that came off as bitter or unappreciative. So I just went home. I really do feel like the asshole, I also think I need to shut my mouth more often. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
k4hLiRFudrsf6ZgZSQ2aCx2szEgML5Y7 | au6ka7 | {
"description": "not editing a video and asking for a partnership",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not editing a video and asking for a partnership? | I told this guy Bill that i would help him edit a video of his for his youtube channel. He sent me a video of about 18-19 minutes of game-play footage and told me to pick out the most interesting parts of it and sent it back to him, he said he needed it done that day.
I was unable to do it that day because i got called up by the co-founder of a project im working on. The deadline was not met and i thought that Bill would have continued with his video. I failed to message him back saying that I had not completed the task at hand.
Today i asked him if he would like to be in a partnership with the website im working on and be on the front page of it for the week in exchange for him to promote the website on his next video. He seemed to still have been expecting the video while i was not. I apologized and asked for an answer on the partnership. He accepted my apologies and proceeded to block me.
​
TL;DR
I said i would help edit a video but was unable to meet the deadline due to working on a personal project. I message the person and said i would help with editing and asked if he wanted to cross promote our projects.
​
[https://imgur.com/APqxEXS](https://imgur.com/APqxEXS)
​
[https://imgur.com/hqErh4X](https://imgur.com/hqErh4X) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
mOAGu7Cdqzy0PjA0of5PGwQmq3XbDf9j | atum21 | {
"description": "telling my roommate to be more at her boyfriends place",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I told my roommate to be more at her boyfriends place | So to put this shortly; I live in a shared apartment with a girl. The living room and her rooms is only separated by a glass door with a curtain. So when her boyfriend is here I don't feel like staying in the living room because I'm 10 feet away from them and can hear every thing they say.
Problem is her boyfriend is here a lot. Like sometimes 2 weeks straight and then leaves for maybe 4-5 days and comes back staying for a week or 2. He works in my city but lives an hour away so whenever he has shifts he stays here.
I haven't lived with someone in a serious relationship before so I don't know how having SO's around works. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
MX2gRnZu1aFhY1RnqL4ADnmMSkzhMZw9 | b73wgc | {
"description": "cutting ties with a schizophrenic girl that just got institutionalized",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I cut ties with a schizophrenic girl that just got institutionalized. | So I met this F(22) Girl on tinder, and we hit it off really well, she lived a couple towns away from me and we met up not too long after talking. We didn't necessarily have plans to do anything, we just were going to hang out, drive around and talk. So I picked her up and we went to Walmart, I kind of let her call the shots. I wore really nice clothes that I really enjoy wearing for this first date.
So we went to Walmart, and she started picking up silly string, glitter, paint, and whenever I asked her what she was up to, she would tell me not to worry about it. I wasn't a big fan of surprises, because I felt like either she was going to fuck the inside of my car up with this shit, or do something.
So we went to the boardwalk, and hopped the fence to get onto the beach, mind you I'm still following her lead, so she just starts giving me some of the stuff she bought, and before I can object, she starts throwing paint all over my nice white shoes, my nice white dress pants. at the time I decided fuck it, and I fought back, we fought with shaving cream, paint, glitter, silly string. after that we look like idiots with paint all over us, it was very uncomfortable but kind of fun. However I'm not going to lie I still am just a little salty that my one good outfit that I recently bought was ruined.
It was a nice first date, after we kind of clean ourselves off at Walmart, we were a little clean and we had sex in the back of my car. After we finished I decided to drive her home, but she got really clingy really quick, which is fine, she took the shirt that I had to take off so it wouldn't get too much paint on it, and she held onto it and wouldn't let go, she wanted to take it, and I wasn't for it.
I proceeded to sternly tell her I'm tired and I want her to go home, it's like 4am. So when I got home, we talked and it was a nice time, a week later I decided to hang out with her again at her house, which was nice but I work overnight so I came to her house without any sleep, and I needed to be at work again in the next 12 hours or so. When I'm getting ready to leave, and I'm wanting to go home so I can get some sleep, she begged me to stay, like on the verge of tears, begging me to stay and cuddle her and sleep with her, I really just wanted to go home so I told her I don't want to stay and I left.
That was the last time I've seen her, and I've been talking to her on Instagram for a while now, and one weird thing is that she started following a lot of my friends. She wants something really serious, when I don't. She's making it very weird for me, so yesterday she texted me telling me that she had a mental breakdown at school, and her schizophrenia was acting up, she told me that she was getting institutionalized, and she wanted me to reassure her that I would stay, I told her I'd still be here. But honestly I want to leave, WIBTA if I cut ties and blocked her on everything?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CEMpsu8euWRsBHthueTOfveS88ZwXUhV | amr2i9 | {
"description": "making my boyfriend have lunch with my parents",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for making my boyfriend have lunch with my parents? | My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to lunch with my father, who lives 800 miles away, who I don’t get to see very often. About an hour before were supposed to leave he texted me letting me know my mother, who I don’t get along with, and who dislikes my boyfriend vehemently, is coming too. AITA for being upset that my boyfriend doesn’t want to go to lunch, when I don’t have a choice to not go? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
7yg4rJlg8vBAXEXc8EYLVmwrtpsqxF9l | aoxno7 | {
"description": "telling my roommate that some of her food spoiled in the fridge",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my roommate that some of her food spoiled in the fridge? | I’m 19F and she’s 18F, we’re both college roommates. Small room, and my little mini fridge. Lately, when I open the fridge, the smell wafts out and sits in the room for a fair bit, and because it’s winter, I can’t open a window. It’s pretty bad, and I think the culprit is her tub of yogurt that’s been sitting there for at least 3 months.
I didn’t want to just go in and throw away food that isn’t mine, so I decided the best route is to tell her. So I began by saying that I think something may have spoiled in the fridge. She then said “Are you saying this because you want me to check or...?” To which I said that I only had wine and pop tarts in the fridge, so I don’t know what it is, and implied lightly that whatever rotten food is in the fridge isn’t mine. She said that she’d check, but seemed really standoffish and maybe a little offended. I don’t think I said anything wrong and she may have been in a bad mood, I’m really not sure. Is bringing up that someone’s food may have spoiled offensive?
AITA for telling my roommate that her food may have spoiled in my fridge? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
81T4dgQlV7MZUiqaQhYinNZ9xbDF4pM9 | azvg5k | {
"description": "wanting the so to handle the end of day routine for the kid",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting the SO to handle the end of day routine for the kid? | I've been told it is a rehotirc question that I should know the answer to, but I feel that I have at least some reasoning.
She works a somewhat graveyard shift but is home by 1am. We have a small child that wakes up early (what child doesnt). I work a regular 7am-4pm job so my days start at 5:30am and I'm usually up with the child around 6:30/7am on weekends. She has 3 days off each week and is with the child 2 days while we are both off one weekend day. She just enrolled in online school as well to help us in the long run and I fully support it.
But, sometimes I feel she should help in doing the end of the day routine with our child. I pick up the little one after work 3 days of the week and handle the feeding, bathing and bedtime for those 3 days, but I do it 4 days since she works one weekend day so I do it 4 days a week.
Am I out of line for expressing an expectation that for the 3 days shes off she should handle the feeding, bathing and putting the kid to bed since I handle it the other 4 days?
Some background info, I usually cook dinner each day during the week which doubles as lunches for both of us so I am usually making her lunches each week. I also did online school last year and was still making dinners for us and still going to work during the week. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5YkRqcR7D57GyxBlndVEETAaY2Huej3v | b3e02v | {
"description": "atealing this kid's bag",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITAH for atealing this kid's bag? | BACKGROUND:
I am 13 and on an exchange trip with my school, in Germany. In the school we normally Josh around and call eachother names and steal each others stuff but then give it back, but everyone seems cool with it.
C=kid F1=friend 1 F2=friend 2 M=me
STORY:
Today, we went to a mountain to climb up, it's a high mountain but has safe places. The mountain also has ruins at the top. We had some free time so me and my friends go to the ruins. C sits down on some ruins and puts down his bag. I think it would be funny to steal his bag and put it somewhere safe. I take his bag and he runs after me. (Remember we are just kids, I thought we were playing) I lose him and hide the bag on a safe ledge that is quite large and isn't over the edge of the mountain. He shouts at me. Someone else steals bag and then friends take it in turns to run with it. Gets to a friend who then loses C and hides it somewhere hidden. C cannot find his bag and shouts at us. He then finds the bag. We go back down towards the meeting place.
C: GIVE ME €10 FOR STRESS FEES *in serious tone*
M: no way! That's ridiculous, I didn't hide your bag there!
C:*shoves me while going down a steep path*
M:*shoves him back*
A fight ensues.
I go away to other friends after winning as he is crying.
After a while, F1, F2 and C come to where we are.
F1: If you don't give C some money for stress, I'm going to tell, I'm going to tell!
M: No!
F2: alright then apologize!
I then refuse and we negotiate until we come to the agreement that he apologizes to me for pushing me and I apologize for the bag and the fight. I agree to apologize for the bag, but not the fight. They deny and threaten to go tell the teachers. I agree to their terms because I know the teachers will take the side of a crying child.
Some of my friends take my side, some take C's
AmITheAsshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
dlSaDKWbRyQaOApuZ4AGo09V9LhWscZz | anbyrj | {
"description": "thinking a guy in my community needs immediate and impactful intervention",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking a guy in my community needs immediate and impactful intervention? | TL;DR: first semester freshman (18M) at my (20F) uni./church has been physically violent towards women (including me), stolen alcohol from church sponsored events, and attempted to break into a locked cabinet that he didn’t have permission to open. AITA for wanting to tell his family and possibly our priest before he possibly escalates?
~
I’m a student at a university in the US south and am very active at a church that operates just off campus. It’s a really active environment and we have around 200~300 really active students, with more joining every semester.
At the beginning of the Spring 2019 semester a young man who’s related to a couple alumni of the university and the church started his freshman year, we’ll call him Tom. I know his family fairly well and they’re a super interesting bunch. They were all homeschooled their entire lives in a fairly small town in Texas, which effected them in different ways. Tom’s elder sister and brother are fairly well adjusted, if a little awkward occasionally. Super sweet kids. However, Tom is a much different story.
I’ve known him a couple of weeks now, and while he was pretty nice at first (kind of awkward but in the way that kids just going into college are), but since the semester started he has apparently lost his entire mind.
The second week of school, he figured out that a group of people at the church had a group Nerf gun (one of the big dudes, high powered) and asked me where it was. Someone else who was in the room with us told him it was in a locked cabinet, and I told him that I would not be telling him where the key was because he had literally zero reason to get into the cabinet or mess with something that was emphatically not his. He did not like this. He took out a bunch of LOCK PICKING TOOLS and begins going to town on this cabinet. I’m telling him to stop, the guy sitting with me is YELLING at him to tell him to stop and he goes until he gives up. Strike one.
Last week, someone left their keys in a room and Tom made to steal them. At this point, I knew his gambit, so I grabbed the keys before he could with the intent of returning them to their owner, a friend of mine. This kid fucking LATCHES onto my hand with his little claws and begins to attempt to claw them out of my palm. I should mention that I am by no means a small person, and I’m pretty strong, have long limbs, the whole shebang. He is desperately trying to get these keys as I am telling him (as calmly as I can) to stop touching me and to let go of me immediately. Eventually, the key’s owner comes back and Tom admits defeat, letting me give back the keys. I quickly realize, however, that I’m bleeding from a scratch on the crease of my thumb from his nails or the keys. I mention this, he gets concerned and I ask him if he realizes that his actions have consequences. BIG MISTAKE. I go to clean my hand so I don’t get blood on my clothes, he storms out yelling about how he ‘doesn’t want to deal with this.’
Two days ago, Sunday, was the final straw. I was chilling in a chair in our community room, and had not acknowledged him being in the room at all, in fact I was working on my computer and talking to some people next to me. He walks over to me and picks up a chair, hoisting it like he’s going to bring it down on my head. Someone in the room tells him not to and he puts it down because he would not be winning that fight. He immediately stomps in the space between my feet on the ground. Problem: he had no idea where my feet were because I had a fuzzy blanket from my lap to the floor, and he could have easily brought his foot down on mine.
These are just things he’s done to me or in front of me, other things I’ve heard through the grapevine are that he stole a bunch of beers from our Super Bowl party on Sunday (he’s 18, this is a church) and that he got into a physical fight with another girl at the church. Admittedly, she beat his ass and had him pinned to the floor, but he initiated the fight.
I asked a few of the guys around the church to talk to him yesterday (including one who is dating his sister), but I’m worried that won’t be enough.
Our faith is very empathetic that the duty of a man is to protect and care for the women in his life, that love is gentle and kind, and that physical violence except for self defense is a no go. I don’t care what you think of our faith, but I add that so that any readers will have insight into my thought process and why I might be concerned (I mean other than the obvious physical assault, theft, and attempted cabinet B&E).
My concern is that Tom doesn’t know or respect anyone at the church to actually listen to them.
I want to escalate this to his sister (a current student), his parents, and maybe even our priest, because I think that his behavior, if unchecked, will get him arrested eventually. Or the shit beat out of him by someone who just goes ape, whichever comes first.
So, AITA for wanting to escalate small things up before they become big things? Like actually hitting me in the head with a fucking chair? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZXPw2FV2YgpN80eJDZcsjoQyRGiykBc7 | 9tinrp | {
"description": "wanting some consistent sleep",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting some consistent sleep? | I am using a throwaway with no identifying information.
I just graduated school and am between jobs. My significant other is the breadwinner of this relationship and is currently working 10 hour days.
I have a known sleep disorder brought on by multiple medications and also anxiety. I have a very hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. I have been keeping a bed time and an alarm in the morning so I can stay on some sort of schedule while I look for work. In the mean time, I am keeping up on everything in the household. Doing all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and whatnot.
My SO sets their alarm for 4:30 am and lets it snooze for an hour before they will get out of bed. I usually wake up around this time to pee and then try to go back to sleep while the fog is still kind of over me, so to speak. But I can’t sleep when the alarm goes off every nine minutes.
Naps are not an option for me. I am trying to be supportive of my SO but my sleep is one of those things I take seriously because I know what it’s like to go without. I am currently up at around 5am writing this in a crying rage because I can’t go back to sleep and I’m just so tired.
I tried to find compromises with my SO and they told me “when you work, I’ll put up with your alarm”. However, I did work for a long time and my alarm was never the problem. So that kind of hurt.
AITA for wanting my SO to find some way to wake up that’s not an hour long affair at 4am so I can stay on my established sleep schedule? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Gt8BqzG0bPuodxTNRqFfIJsjIAN7kEbY | asj23o | null | AITA asked to officiate a wedding, but not sure the couple is ready. Want to sit them down and ask some questions | Hey guys. I need some help. I was asked by a very good friend of mine to officiate a wedding for a couple that have known each other for less then six months. Some back story. So this couple met in August, moved in together in October and proposed on Christmas Day. I was asked last week to officiate the wedding. Initially I hopped on the idea to help out my friends. But have some second thoughts due to the fact that it’s really soon and the few times I’ve been around the couple it always seems intense. I was thinking about sitting with the couple before hand and asking some questions to them but don’t want to come across in a negative way. But before I stand in front of 200 people I just want to believe in their love before I literally sign off on their marriage. I’m on mobile so sorry for typing and grammar errors. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
zb11MmaHGGU21ntUVjgX5kUpVUdObIuc | abah1e | {
"description": "not opening the door for an elderly man",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not opening the door for an elderly man? | First, some context.
​
I worked out this morning at mesh fitness, and they have a specific policy rule written on their entrance door that states, "For the safety of our members, please do not open the door for anyone", which makes sense. People could barge in the gym all the time if members opened the doors.
​
Well here I am, about to leave the gym on a cold, rainy morning when I see an elderly man with a cane approaching the gym. We make eye contact for a solid 20 seconds. Half of me was like, "Damn, I shouldn't open the door for him, he'll have a membership card to open the doors", while the other half argued, "Jesus Christ man, it's fucking freezing outside! Open the damn door!". Too afraid to make the wrong choice, I hastily retreat back into the gym.
​
10 seconds later, he enters the door and, to my demise, rips me apart and scolds me for not opening the door, feuding that a guy like myself should have some decency to open the door for an elderly man.
AITA for not opening the door for him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
NyaTEAcjYhUn6UY5IxsnEmj1DwGY4f20 | b4za79 | {
"description": "expecting so to set boundaries",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for expecting SO to set boundaries? | SO goes to school full time, we are old enough to be the parents of most people he has classes with. One girl (19 yo) in particular calls at midnight, texts constantly, and tries to join every group he's involved with. I've found photos of them together alone at restaurants, and honestly I'd have no problem with it, if he ever mentioned that He went to get food with her. I'm former military and have mostly male friends, so it's not the fact that she's the opposite sex, it's that he's purposely omitting things. He says since he's doing nothing wrong, that I shouldn't have an issue with it. I've asked him several times to set boundaries, and he refuses, rolls his eyes and acts like I'm being unreasonable.
Am I the asshole?! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IYwA9FP764LHBI2WxkmRY1U7g0msOLmy | ahcy74 | {
"description": "leading on a boy from a foregin country",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for leading on a boy from a foregin country | Alright based on this title, it seems obvious that I’m a girl, but I’m actual a guy. Anyways, December of 2017, I went to India with my family, cuz my parents are immigrants and my maternal cousins stil live in India.
For this first few days, one of my favorite cousin was in a different city because her mom was getting an operation for a tumor. She came back later, and me and my older male cousin walkled to her houes to pick her up. (It’s about a 5 minute walk). On the way back one of her friends noticed her and wanted my cousin to hang out. She went in for a few minutes, and apparently her friend thought I was hot. That’s the first time that ever happened, and I know that there is no way in hell someone in the US of A would say that to me. NGL the girl’s in India have a low expectation. Anyway I get home, and there is a follow request from her on Instagram, and this is supper bizzare cuz I don’t even know who she is. My cousin said under no cicumstances to let her follow me, but I decided to humor her. I had some fun just screwing around with her, purely teasing but that’s a whole different fiasco.
Moving one, some of the poeple in India have the funnist usernames (This will be important later) . There pretty far behind on fads that have happened in America. For example, fidget spinners were just introduceted therer last year. Some of the names are super edgy because of this but I’m not gonna expose anyone here.
Its been over a year, and recently her friend wished me happy birthday, which was odd because I hardly talk to her. I go to her account, and her follow ratio is fucking crazy. She has about 300 dudes following her and only follows one tik tok star from India, who recently passed away. I go full stalker mode and go through her follower list, and I find one of the funniest names of all time. The kid lives in India, and my cousin knows him, so I sent him a follow request and he accpeted about a day later.
Oh. My. Lord. He’ s completely fresh of the boat, and would probably get bullied to hell in some of the public schools in America. HIs account is a gold-mine of what we would call cringe. I show him off to some off my family friends as my own personal jewl, and recently my best friend and I have had a competition to see who can get the most affection and the best response from him. My friends is currently in the lead. He kinds scared him by saying he wants to commit suicide and needed help. By far the best response.
Anyways, now ALL my friends know who he is and I have begged them to add him to our group chat, but they refuse. We keep commenting on his pictures just saying stuff like I want to kiss you, I love you, you are beautiful, just the usual joking stuff.
Now to my surprise, my best friend made a geroup chat including him and it’s the greatest thing that has happened since Manchester City won the league last year. We’ve been kind of leading him on, pretending we are his friends, and he’s cool about it, but here’s the kicker.
One of my friends is an absolute dick to him. He despises him, because he commented on all his old posts. He did that to my friend to, whos been posting since 2014, and we got a kick out of it. BUT this other dude is being a complete prick. He’s told him to fuck off cuz he’s been having a wank and has been trying to intimidate him. NOW by Indian buddy started following a joke jock at our school. THe jock thinks he’s some sort of musical genius because he uploads rap songs to his soundcloud, and when my friend follow him, he did the exact thing you aren’t supposed to do. He commented on all of his old pictures including the one about him breaking up with his ex. And this dude is pretty pissed. I haven’t heard from my friedn for a while cuz I’ve been busy with school and stuff. But I’m genuinly kinda scared of what happens to him, because for the record the girls in India are a hell of a lot different and nicer than the one who reside in this beautiful country.
So am I the asshole, for potentially making him feel bad because some of the people that I have introduced to him have been super hostile towards him?
This is one of my first posts and it’s been on my mind for a while, sorry for the phrasing :) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
a63kq0ZIXWvimOXIl09IhaqNJFxD4Jgj | akk11k | {
"description": "suggesting to my fiancé that his mother is on the autism spectrum",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for suggesting to my fiancé that his mother is on the autism spectrum? | My fiancé came from a pretty difficult childhood home. His parents fought a lot, and eventually divorced. His father was an alcoholic and kind of just asshole-y in general, but he’s not the reason for my post. His mother has always been extremely neurotic: high strung, always frantic, very very very set in a routine, socially awkward, paranoid, easily angered, etc etc. I love her dearly regardless of her quirks, but I cannot even imagine having to live in the same house with her for 18 years.
The other night my fiancé and I are talking about something crazy she did, which lead to us talking about the crazy stuff she did when he was younger. He referenced excessive cleaning and counting her silverware nightly. I asked him if he ever considered that she (and her very similar sister) could be high-functioning autistics, and he said he never really thought of that before, but 100% agreed that all of her personality traits pointed to it. I told him as soon as I met them it seemed obvious to me. I was very careful and gentle with my words, as to not seem pushy or insulting. The conversation ended but not at all on bad terms.
The next day when he got home from work he mentioned that he’d been thinking a lot about what I said and that it hit him hard. He said he felt very guilty about getting mad at her so often in his youth if she really had a disorder. I told him I hoped that I didn’t come off too strongly or upset him in some way and he said I definitely didn’t, I just made him think. Regardless, I feel bad that I just potentially completely changed his view on his relationship with his mother. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
TLHSgjencJObv4kzMSCivttg1lJZh6ne | aqbugh | {
"description": "getting annoyed with my friend who is extremely tight with money on a night out",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting annoyed with my friend who is EXTREMELY tight with money on a night out | My friend is one of those people that whenever we go out for a beer together or as a group they are always saying ‘I can’t spend loads of money/It’s well expensive in here/I can’t afford it/I’m not buying drinks all night’
Whenever we try and invite him out he always promises us he will come and then we get ‘sorry I can’t afford it’ the night before. When he does come out with us it always seems as if it’s when nobody else is available.
Now I could accept that normally but he is quite happy to let everybody else buy him drinks all night and to top things of he will post pictures on social media of himself on other nights out nearly every other night of the week, music festivals, you name it.
So last night things came to a head, we were at the bar and he said I’m only staying for one as I gotta be up in the morning and my other friend said right who wants some shots, he said ‘only if you are buying’ So I confronted him and said ‘Why don’t you buy somebody else a drink for once and stop being a tight ass’... His reaction was to completely throw a child’s fit and accuse me of showing him up in front of everybody, it was as if I had found him out and he was embarrassed that his behaviour had been spotted.
He left and I haven’t heard from him since.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
BBVYALc1qx7h2wbtIbKY1zBtnSYyXQhr | a23wfc | {
"description": "declining my (caring) mother visiting me because she's clingy and I don't like living with her",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for declining my (caring) mother visiting me because she's clingy and I don't like living with her. | So today in my daily call with my mom I just told her to visit me less (she lives in another close country) because I can't stand living in close proximity with her even just for a week. She cried on the phone and I feel bad, but living with her even just for a week drove me to hurting myself and raised my suicidal tendencies (in contrast of how utterly happy I am when I live alone)
She's clingy, hovering and a control freak. Everytime I said I planned to move country to further my career she always said 'what about me', 'who will take care of me if you live far away'. But at the same time, she always ask me for money because she's been unemployed for a long time, and the only way for me to give her money is to search for bigger income and opportunity overseas.
Now she visited me a lot already. Everytime she did we always fought with each other to the point of tears because of our differences. I grew up poor so I always tried to save money, she grew up mostly rich so for example she likes using my money to buy *a lot* of food and useless things for me, but in the end it's too much and spoiled. She did a lot of things like that. She tried to control a lot of things in my life like the time i sleep and the time I take a shower. If I don't follow her words she will be mad.
She does that based on her love for me, I know. She's a soft old woman, she cared for her children, take care of my apartment when she visited normally, cook for us, etc. And I love her a lot. But I just can't stand living with her because I feel like I'm not free and it does bad things to my mental health. It's like she's still caring for a teenager or a child instead of an adult that I am.
am I the asshole for doing this?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
cMp4Nt485SfwrTFs3PTr8yWIQOgufOXl | ad1kpx | null | AITA for this restaurant manager exchange? | Preface: I sound like I smoke a lot of weed because I do.. usually talk pretty mellow.
He was taking my order and said "can you say dude for me?" I thought ahh lighthearted little observation friend. So I said "can you say do you want fries with that?" he seemed upset | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
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