id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
DvA5QG34fxeGMtkKOSgP9mGQ7wvUWgb4 | akjjpi | {
"description": "wanting a breakup with my girlfriend because she is not religious",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | aita for wanting a breakup with my girlfriend because she is not religious? | So I recently got into a relationship with a girl I've known for about a year, and things have been going really well, we have so much in common, and we fit together really well. However, she is a rock hard atheist, and I am a Christian. I just found out about it when I brought it up to her, to find out what she believes, and we argued a lot, I did my best to get her to see my side of things. But she wouldn't budge in her beliefs. Now I think I want to split up, but I am not sure. Aita for wanting a breakup bc of this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
6KBhULRfvIkPx6JhP40xXDtbkBRlCYMZ | aqv3vl | {
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend the day after Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend the day after Valentine’s Day? | We’ve been dating for a little more than 2 years and honestly my heart just isn’t in it. I love him but I know deep down that it’s just not going to work out, especially because I found myself having feelings for someone else.
I’m always terrible at breakups and I draw out the process way too much. So I want to dump him, and all I can think about is that it’s the day after Valentine’s Day and everyone is going to think I’m such an asshole. We’re long distance so we didn’t get each other anything and we didn’t celebrate but still, culturally, seems like a pretty shit date to do it. The fact that we didn’t celebrate yet almost makes it feel worse.
The worst part is he loves me so much and he’s already at an extremely stressful time in his life and I know this will only make things go much worse for him. Part of me thinks I should wait until his life is more stable so I can be slightly more confident that this won’t throw everything off track for him. We’ve broken up briefly before and it ended with him binge drinking and crying himself to sleep. I don’t want to do that to him again.
Would I be TA for ending a 2 year relationship right after Valentine’s Day? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
GzIuqIa3lRMcpaVlWmF59GhSDvyiH9xG | b9h0m6 | {
"description": "calling my friend emotionally manipulative",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling my friend emotionally manipulative? | Sorry in advance if this is all over the place!
I've been having issues with this guy I go to college with. To start off, I'm 17, he's nearly 19, and I'll give a brief rundown of stuff happened in the past that half relates to this:
* He constantly self-deprecates, constantly mentions his mental issues, his alcoholism, not eating/sleeping, his apparent IQ of 148, and how he’s smarter than everyone in our group. He drains the life out of any conversation, makes it about him and his woes. Blamed me for his mental issues first time I rejected him.
* Told me (whilst with someone else at this point) that, when on about crushes I had, that I wouldn't work with them because "wasn't ready for a relationship". Then proceeds to try and get with me a few weeks later.
Backstory: Me and him hooked up a few weeks ago whilst he was on a "break" of sorts with his now-girlfriend. I got freaked out and mental health just dropped for me, we didn't work out as a couple, clearly, and I've been a little distant to him since, but not greatly so.
Okay. Me and him had a disagreement last Sunday (31/03) about me ""whining"" about being single despite people having expressed interest in me. I had mentioned I felt like a rebound to him, and he ranted about that to me in DMs. (This felt warranted to me, given he hopped from liking one person who he didn't even know, to me, to someone else he didn't really know and then his now girlfriend). After him being self deprecating again, I told him I was sick of his emotionally blackmailing and manipulative behaviour, which he tried to say he wasn't, he was just speaking his mind (at the same time saying, exactly, "i'm sure i'll hate myself when i've sobered up a bit"). This went on for a bit and I had to mention "you aren't the only one in the group who hates themselves" and I can't handle things as well as he thinks.
I ended the conversation after that. Haven't spoken to him in person since. I found out that yesterday, when I was off school, that he's called me emotionally manipulative to my two friends, in a conversation that didn’t relate to our disagreement. I raise it with the guy today and he said that me calling myself a rebound was emotionally manipulative, and he didn't intend what he said to be manipulative, to which I said intention doesn't really matter, the impact was still there. He won't tell me anything else that I've done to be manipulative, just that, even though I asked multiple times to know where I was being manipulative. Still nothing about it.
So. AITA for calling him emotionally manipulative? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yoRVRE1nQwMdXywD1J6QFMXfJiGbG0g5 | aekrxk | {
"description": "confronting my husband about the porn I found",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I confronted my husband about the porn I found? | I made a thread about it a couple days ago:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ae2mrt/found_out_my_29f_husband_29m_is_looking_at_some/?st=JQQSPEM4&sh=f23dbb20
I know I’m the asshole for snooping. But I’m just wondering if it’s any of my business, and if I’m being too sensitive?
To sum it up, I’ve known that he likes rape, bondage, hentai, and foot fetish fantasies. I don’t really care about that, a fantasy is a fantasy. What DOES bother me, is I found out my husband paid $150 for 3D porn of a child actress’ character being tied up and put in sexual situations. She’s supposedly “an adult” in the pictures, according to the person who made it. I feel shocked and disgusted and confused. I don’t know what this means.
He also is requesting to pay a lot of money for fake nudes of a girl he knows. I am so hurt and disgusted and creeped out by this.
He’s also looking at gay porn and has a fetlife account??
I also found out he pays a lot of money for porn, which whatever, do what you want with your money, but I’m afraid he has an addiction.
I should mention we’ve barely had sex in the past year. This is kind of my fault, but he also doesn’t really initiate much. He does complain that we don’t have sex enough, but we haven’t seriously talked about it.
Would I be the asshole for bringing this up to him? I know porn is highly personal and a fantasy and can be a deep rabbit hole, and I feel like such an asshole for snooping but a lot of this is concerning. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
g5oo1Fyj4gHjGUtuxv8CDJkPuXXKqFkU | 9tu4lc | {
"description": "not calling",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not calling ? | Tuesday night I left work and was heading home around 6pm. I called my boyfriend who wanted me to come over (about an hour and thirty minute trip by subway and train). For a second I agreed, but then realized I had parked my car in a day lot near my apt and had to move it. Going home moving it and getting to my boyfriend’s house would take well over two hours.
On top I didn’t have clothes packed. We argued and he blamed me for poor planning. On this call I also reminded him I had to go home and take my mom to cataracts surgery and follow up so was leaving Wed night after work.
I also made plans with a friend to see a theater show Saturday night while i was home and asked him if he wanted a ticket. He didn’t want to go. He said he’d been planning to go upstate to get materials for his van and was planning for us to go apple picking etc. starting Saturday afternoon.
Thursday night he had a boat expo to attend and Saturday morning he was in a clean up party at his boating club.
Anyway, we both got mad, and we didn’t text each other. The next evening i wrote an email saying I was upset with how he was blaming me for us not spending time together and criticizing my furniture etc etc. No response. I emailed I love you later on.
The next day I waited but by late afternoon I texted again a few time. No response.
Finally I said I’m worried and he wrote “Not interested in emailing or texting. You need not worry about me.”
This happened once before where he’d only talk on the phone no texting. I know if I call him he will answer. But why should I have to go by some arbitrary rule in 2018? He could also just call me too.
Am I the asshole for not giving in? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
icZ62W42xpziSfCWiuHugd0qPuve4FQ3 | aq92z2 | {
"description": "telling my sibling to GTFO of tinder before their divorce is finalized",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA Telling my sibling to GTFO of tinder before their divorce is finalized? | Long story short, after over a decade of marriage, my sibling's partner moved out "to figure things out," and then immediately started an affair, which they are not even bothering to hide. Heartbroken, my sibling, after trying to get them back for a couple months, eventually started the paperwork for their divorce.
It's like a switch flipped. My sibling is full on 'revenge tindering' their heart out. They are super into all the matches they get, and is essentially just bringing home a bunch of new lays every week.
They have split custody of their children and the kids are still reeling from everything that has gone down. As far as I understood, the kids are unaware of the reason for the divorce as well as their parents seeing new people now (they're all pre-teens).
I told my sibling to use this time (before the divorce is final) try to take things slow, take stock, process everything that's happened and make the kids' wellbeing priority. Sibling has a strong tendency to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, conversations etc. and has always hopped from one relationship to another (as in before getting married) - I don't remember them being single for any significant lengths of time.
I understand the hurt and betrayal they are feeling, but feel that this isn't the healthiest way to deal with their situation right now. My sibling thinks I should keep my mouth shut, they are just having fun, and besides, this is good for their confidence. AITA for telling them to slow it down and focus on their kids? Or is this none of my business? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 14
} | RIGHT |
wF8jbDYcsKMbzyW7PGUjSOwucr3AsmXH | 9ufe2a | {
"description": "asking for a large soda instead of the winning item",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking for a large soda instead of the winning item | McDonalds is having a promotion where you peel a label off an item and you can win a free item once in awhile.
On this day my wife gave me 2 labels. One with a free medium fry and one with a free shake/frappe/cappachino thing. The free shake thing was worth $2 and I don't enjoy the shakes/frappes/whatever else they are and I just wanted to get a beverage ($1) in place of the free item.
The girl at the front register had no issue with it and just needed the manager to submit the promo for her. When the manager showed up and seen the label was for a free *something* and not a beverage, I was told that an exchange can not be made.
I explained that I just wanted to get a sweet tea that's worth only $1 and not the more expensive item and to just ring it up as the free *something* and hand me a cup for a beverage. To which I was told "Not exchanges."
I got slightly frustrated bit kept my cool and asked just for a shake with nothing in it. So the manager rung it up and gave me a shake cup and lid so I took the empty container and got a sweet tea with it.
AITA for this? Should I have just given my free item to someone else? I feel like I was THAT customer and I should have just shut up and walked away. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
A5spKSfyR7IHkSVc9iw7CRU2rzrLD0E8 | b896wt | {
"description": "jumping rope in my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for jumping rope in my apartment? | I live in an apartment on the second floor. I've been working out more to lose some weight by doing body strengthening exercises at home, as I don't have a gym membership and I live in a city with poor air quality and limited, overcrowded green spaces. I recently purchased a jump rope and intersperse several minutes of jump rope throughout my routine, about 5 min of jump rope total. I make sure to do it during the day and try to jump light on my feet. None of the neighbors have said anything to me, but my partner recently mentioned that jumping rope might disturb the neighbors below us. I grew up in apartment complexes and I am aware of how loud upstairs neighbors footsteps alone can be, so I understand the neighbors might be annoyed hearing several minutes of thumping above. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
77liOJOrlHQtn7YifEq4Ko8E95Kl4vdL | ag6qoq | {
"description": "cutting out a drama starting friend from my life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting out a drama starting friend from my life? | This all began starting about 3 months ago. My friend (lets call him jerry) Sends me a message on discord asking to play video games. I have no reason to say no, so i start a voice call and jerrys mic is broken. I say: "I don't want to be in a call, your mic is broken and making weird noises" I then hang up. Jerry then says: "Why doesn't anybody like me???" (he doesn't have the greatest reputation amongst my friend circle) And then i have to go do something, jerry immediately makes some snide remark something along the lines of: "yeah because playing with (Friend1) and (Friend2 instead of me is soooo important" And i genuinely have to leave, so i just do and forget about it. Fast forward a week later and he gets in a group call with me and 2 other friends, and he instantly starts an argument about how nobody likes him and how hes being so nice and perfect to everyone. We all disagree, and apparently jerry has been starting drama over the simplest thing for a very long time. (I'm going to spare you the details up until now) And now, he sends me a message about 2 weeks since the last drama and he says pretty much this: "Hey, its been like a year since we last hung out. Can we please call and play games for a while? Ive been trying to play with you for so long and i really want to be your friend" And i say this in return: "I've been trying to tell you not so harshly, but i guess i have to do it bluntly; I do not like being around you because you try to start drama with literally every single thing anyone says" And he starts going on this long rant about how im a bully for not wanting to be around him, and i keep replying saying that hes the one starting drama, and he keeps saying "BULLY BULLY" To me making valid arguments. Eventually, he blocks me (after saying some kinda nasty things) because i apparently am a horrible friend. AITA?
TL;DR Friend calls me a bad friend for not wanting to be around him because he blows everything out of proportion, ends up blocking me over it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cHGBZ8221CLlVuI2w8JSAqXe9OvMTw3j | aloklr | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to other people when I'm walking my dog",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to talk to other people when I’m walking my dog? | I love walking my dog he’s a lovely soft golden retriever, I have a field nearby where other people walk. The issue is especially the closer we get to summer is more and more people come out and they just love being really chatty. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind a hi and maybe a little lovely weather but when someone starts talking about when they used to have a golden retriever and their name and stuff I kinda wanna tell them to just fuck off ( I don’t obviously because I’m British) but it just gets to the point where I end up just walking off and saying bye. I don’t know who these people are so why should I listen to what they have to say I don’t do it rudely I just say sorry I’ve gotta go and then walk away. Is it rude that I just wanna walk my dog or am I being an asshole | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QRyefLs35FyUsti1lz5Wa2xRD4Yvj7bL | abkbln | {
"description": "being upset at seeing my fiancée making out with my friend to \"say goodbye\"",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset at seeing my fiancée making out with my friend to "say goodbye"? | Everyone at this party was ~24. New Year's at my friends was winding down and some couples started swinging. My friend's boyfriend went upstairs to have sex with the host. Friend became chummy with someone's husband, and were intimately snuggling on the couch. I was around to witness this because I was mopping the host's house (the floors were disgusting).
It became time to leave, so I kissed (cheek-to-cheek, how I often say "hi" and "bye") my friend and the guy she was with on the loveseat. Grabbed my belongings, and walked past my fiancée on top of these two as she was saying goodbye. I spanked her as I walked by because her ass was in the air and it's sorta a way to say "let's get going."
I step outside and begin getting my car ready to leave and about 1.5 minutes later, my fiancée has not yet come outside. I walk back inside to see her still on top of these two, but I hear kissing. I walk over to see her making out with my friend.
To be honest, I was repulsed. The guy my friend was with was greasy and disgusting, and I see my fiancée on top of him, making out with the girl in his arms, his hand on her leg and his face inches away from them as he watches them snog. I was speechless, and pulled out my phone to take a picture. I felt like I wanted her to see what I saw. I had left the flash on, though, so the initial flash (not the flash for the picture) caught my fiancées attention and she looked up. I nervously dropped my phone when the actual picture took, so in a way I'm thankful that I didn't end up with a picture of this scene I have cemented in my memory. It made me very upset, and I just walked away speechless.
Some important INFO: my fiancée and I have been together 8 years, and we have had threesomes and foursomes in the past. However, we have a very clear understanding that we do those things together. I've turned down other people's advances with "sorry, I can't do that without my girlfriend here." I think a lot of this pain I felt stems from the fact that she did this without knowing I was present.
Fiancée claims it just happened, and that my friend started the situation. She was also rather drunk and emotional when the situation occurred. She claims it meant nothing, and I completely agree. I know it didn't "mean" anything, but to me she engaged in sexual behavior with someone without my presence. Insult to injury that the slimeball guy she was on top of was (of course) rather into and enjoying what was happening between the two women on top of him. I hate knowing she gave him a show.
I understand that society sees two women kissing as more socially acceptable than two guys, but I can't help but feel bitter that, had our roles been reversed, it would not have been acceptable at all. We're both bisexual, so this situation happening between me and another guy would not be crazy. But since it's between two girls I'm supposed to enjoy it and be happy about it. That makes me bitter about this as well.
I want my fiancée to apologize sincerely and understand why this has me upset, but she seems to believe that it's not fair for me to place any blame on her for this situation. Ultimately, I know this doesn't matter. It really was just something that happened and did not mean anything. So am I the asshole for being upset and confronting her about it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tZI5SDL4tQ02e86teQg16jHTinEElCQ5 | a2ijq8 | {
"description": "telling a woman and her disabled daughter to back off",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling a woman and her disabled daughter to back off? | First off all, I apologise for my use of the term ‘disabled’. It’s brash, unspecific and general, but I’m afraid I have a severe lack of knowledge on different syndromes and disabilities and I am unable to specify which disorder her daughter lives with. It does not appear to be a physical disability.
A bit of background: I’m a customer assistant at the local shop where I live. I’ve worked here for over a year, and I’m generally praised for my communication skills with our customers and I often receive positive feedback from customers themselves. I like working there and I like the customers (apart from the odd few, but y’know, retail).
Our shop is very small and only ever has 2-3 people working a shift at one time. This means we get to know our customers on a reasonably personal level. This woman and her daughter come in to the shop often as they live nearby. They initially made a point of getting to know everyone by name, which I appreciated as it was friendly. But they continued to get closer. The mum will come in with her daughter (who is around 24, and a very sweet girl, but is very attached to her mum and will do anything she says), and will say to her daughter ‘oh look, _____ is working, to give him/her a hug’. This happens very often and not all staff are comfortable with this, particularly some of the males, but we are all often afraid to say no.
Furthermore, the mum began asking, on her daughters behalf, if we could add her (the daughter) on Facebook/WhatsApp so she could have friends. One of my colleagues felt too awkward to say no and now the daughter messages her 24/7, comments on all of her Facebook posts, and proceeded to find all other social media through her Facebook. She posts statuses saying ‘_____ is my best friend’ and tags my colleague. The mum will also say ‘there’s your best friend’ or even ‘there’s your sister/brother’ to her daughter and point to members of staff, and I even heard her refer to my boss as her daughters dad. This makes the daughter believe she is much closer to the staff than she really is.
Her mum has begun to walk straight into the office at work, which even the customer assistants are not allowed to do, because she believes her and her daughter are on close terms with our staff. We are all far too uncomfortable to tell her no for fear of discrimination. Her mum is also very touchy with staff, for example, stroked my boss’s beard and told him he needed to shave. The next time they were in, her daughter did the same, because she has obviously seen her mum do this and assumed it was appropriate behaviour.
Today, they came into the shop, and told me they liked my hair. The mum asked me if I could come round to their house for a ‘girls day’ and do her daughters hair. Her daughter became so excited and asked for my phone number to arrange this. The mum said she’d make lunch and take us out afterward. I understand that it just be hard for her that her daughter doesn’t have friends, but this is not the way to help her make them. I very so awkward and under a lot of pressure, that I claimed I was super busy over the next couple weeks. She asked for my number and my rota of shifts so she could see when I’m free, and I finally broke and told her to stop. I said I wasn’t comfortable with her behaviour and that she needed boundaries.
She was angry and upset and I’ve felt guilty about it since, but she makes me so uncomfortable that I immediately become anxious when they enter the shop.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DuEmrOCF48t7yaU6fvZv171aZkwlXDZH | al142x | {
"description": "telling my brother and sister-in-law who just had a baby to pull their heads out of their asses",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA If I told my brother and sister-in-law who just had a baby to pull their heads out of their asses? | My brother and sister-in-law just recently had a baby. She was born on January 24th and they are very great parents. My only problem is that neither one of them have a job. The "job" they had was a bullshit excuse for a company a friend of a friend made that made them COOs but didn't pay them for 6 MONTHS. They still have no money and are relaying on family or friends. They are just lazy in my opinion. They both left their jobs to go to this "company" and then never questioned why they weren't getting paid. They both almost refuse to get a job because of the baby actually being here now an they have had to get money from people to buy them food and pay their bills because of this. On top of this they want to take legal action against the guy for them not getting paid.
I know that the whole family has been on their asses and have been telling them how dumb they are being so I have been quiet and just let them come to me if they need to rant or whatnot without me preaching at them.
So WIBTA of I tried to get them to realize how dumb they were being and talked at least one of them into getting a job? I'm not sure what I would say yet (I would keep my cool and not blow up) but I don't want them to feel like no one is on their side. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
wsgWhV7kmUMrxAz9cFiFLHE56CB9ksDu | b0fzol | null | AITA...sister is leaving for Disney the happiest place it the world and leaving me with our dying mother. | I'm beyond pissed. Sad. Hurt. Angry!!
Our mother is on her 4th cancer. Bone cancer matasisized fron uterine wich is terminal. My sister,husband and i are her main caregivers. As the cancer has progressed her health has done a steady decline. What you would expect from terminal cancer
It's been a long hard road. My sister and myself and my husband are her sole care givers. Its been months a front row seat to her ultimate death.
Went to the doctors today. And they said it's time for hospice we knew this was coming...my sister has younger children a 11 year old and she has a cheer competition coming up. It's in Disney.
Now its a 3 day thing max. She is staying for 7 days..that sounds like a vacation to me. Her 26 n 27 year old daughters are going with her as well..
I say she's going on vacation and she admittedly swears it's for her daughters compatition. And after the doctor flat out said our mother was dying.
Am i the asshole for being pissed at my sister for going to Disney the happiest place in the world while our mother could very well die while she is goneto her daughters " compatition " | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
daCp8J0gWnsvXMFTnprhWQkL2RjFl8SJ | b6ef5q | {
"description": "telling my \"step grandma\" to fuck off",
"pronormative_score": 141,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for telling my “step grandma” to fuck off? | This happened a couple years ago but it was brought to my attention that the woman is still mad.
My mom married a guy I hate when I was 17. His family lived in Indiana, and it is about 9 hours of driving to get there. My mom and stepdad insisted we go down there for a visit during the summer I turned 20. I am now 25. I agreed to go simply because I hadn’t seen my “new uncles” in a year.
Well one evening my mom and I were sitting outside talking about shaving our legs (not sure how we ended up there, honestly). We both agreed that we usually just do a light shave instead of shaving everything (upper legs, bikini area, etc) unless we are going to have sex. We were laughing about it and my “step grandma” came outside to smoke.
Some info on this grandma. She was already mad at me for not calling her “gramma Karen” (no joke, that’s her name). I didn’t call her that because?? I was 17 when she became part of “my” family. I already had a grandma. She was mad enough to make it clear I wasn’t welcome to stay at her house with my mom and siblings. Instead I spent the week at a nearby motel.
So anyways she hears my mom and I laughing and asks what we’re laughing about. My mom tells her we were talking about how lazy we are and don’t shave all the time.
Karen immediately gets annoyed at not my mom, who is married to her son, but at me. She rounds on me, saying “don’t you have a boyfriend?”
At the time I’d been with a guy for three years and lived with him. So I told her yeah.
She then asks me why I’m not shaving daily for him. I ask her why do I need to? She says I should be trying to look nice for him. I tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t care if my legs have hair on them, he’s aware that women grow hair there.
She looks ridiculously disgusted by me. She’s giving me a nasty look and then says “do you at least make him dinner every night?”
At this point I’m nearly laughing. It was 2013 and are you kidding me? Why would I make him dinner nightly? So I tell her no way. Sometimes I make dinner for both of us but no way in hell do I make him food every night. She asks me why not, and I tell her because he is perfectly capable of getting off his ass and making himself some food.
She says, “Wow, I’m surprised he hasn’t left you yet.”
To which I responded “fuck off karen.”
I ended up catching a plane home the next day because I didn’t want to be around her. I haven’t seen her since.
Recently my mom told me that Karen is still mad I never apologized to her. I don’t feel I owe her an apology. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 141,
"WRONG": 19
} | RIGHT |
N06JYbUtOGFpTFW5wxAcigqVoXiOklVz | a8si26 | {
"description": "only wanting to celebrate my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for only wanting to celebrate my birthday? | I invited my friends to brunch on the 23rd and while I assumed itd be clear it was for my birthday since it's on the 24th I didn't say so. My friend was excited and suggesting having a housewarming party too since her parents just bought a house. I said "what if we just go and celebrate my birthday?" And she said "why not both?" Idk if she means eats brunch while celebrating the house or eat brunch and then go to her house, but either way I don't really like the idea of it. Am I wrong for wanting it to be about me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
q1f6e5V48c0yMyGEFmitrXqapnMgTS9t | as7h42 | {
"description": "telling my friend she wasn't sexually assaulted",
"pronormative_score": 50,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For Telling My Friend She Wasn't Sexually Assaulted? | Both of us are 22, been friends for years. She mentioned to me a few weeks ago that she was sexually assaulted in the summer and I was really devastated for her and it was just really shitty thing to happen to women I know. I asked her what happened and if she went to the police she said no and she'll tell me one day. Well she told me last night what happened to her in the summer and basically she was at a party and her and a guy were all over each other all night and they were both very drunk. She said he asks for a blowjob and they go upstairs and he KO's and she still blows him . She said she was very drunk still but less compared to him because she wasn't blackout drunk like he was. After she finished she went back down and left with her friend and started crying and saying she got taken advantage of etc and her friend told her to call the police but she didn't. She was crying when telling me all this and really believed she was taken advantage of somehow.
After she told me this story I made her tell me like 3 times so I understood everything and its exactly what I described above, I then sadly told her that wasn't sexual assault and if anything she sexually assaulted him because he was KO'D and she noticed he was and still got his dick out and blew him. She got so mad at me and said it was a few of her friends said it was etc. She stormed off and hasn't spoke to me since.
AITA Here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 49,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 50,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
nntZOrhIc8N5bDGevMSM8LxLdmtBDB71 | b6c97g | {
"description": "putting athletic ice packs in my office freezer",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for putting athletic ice packs in my office freezer? | Some days I go for runs at work. As any runner knows, ice can help in restoring your legs and preventing injuries. I had decided to put the ice packs in the company freezer like any person would do at home. My coworker thinks I'm gross for, "putting things that're all over my body in the freezer." I said that I hope he isn't storing open food directly on the racks in the work freezer. I also made the argument that people use ice packs for bruises that would certainly go on people's bodies.
​
Other context:
\-I'm a clean person and have asked my coworkers to tell me if I smell after runs and was told that I surprisingly don't.
\-In case it matters, this freezer rarely has anything in it.
\-I work in a pretty relaxed industry.
\-I do sweat after I run, but my legs aren't really sweaty - they may have some residual sweat from exercising
\-I put the ice packs on about 30 minutes to an hour after a run
​
He asked me to put the ice packs in a plastic bags and I obliged. It's not a big deal for me to cover them in a plastic bag if make people more comfortable in a shared environment.
​
This still begs the question, AITA for putting an uncovered athletic ice pack in a shared freezer? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
TFVBP8rLOuYSNwJhNTahRAAsUhBDMEOt | ao548q | {
"description": "choosing not to work with someone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for choosing not to work with someone? | Basically this is how it goes:
In Thai class (screw this shit) we have a project to work on that counts for a good percentage of our grade. Since this is a big grade, our teacher lets us choose who we’re with, and there’s a massive free for all.
After a few minutes, it boils down to me (Siegerkranz) and this dude we’ll call Somchai (really common Thai name). The reason why we’re probably the outcasts is that we sort of can’t speak Thai for shit (I can to some extent, not sure about him).
I realize this and think dammit, and I kept thinking about how to avoid this situation. Meanwhile, Somchai just assumes we’re partners and tries to tell me what to do. I try to ignore him and focus on my possible options, which are:
1) team up with Somchai and most likely end up carrying him, although he may be a bit helpful (optimistically)
2) take this one on my own
I was about to go with number one until Somchai asked me “hey Siegerkranz, can you send me your class notes? I didn’t write anything down.” Suddenly, all the alarms started ringing and I was like, “fuck this.”
I then walk up to the teacher (let’s call her Krit)
Siegerkranz: hi, I don’t have the group
*Somchai overhears and walks over *
Krit: oh if that’s the case, you can work alone
Somchai: hey wait, I thought we were gonna be partners
Krit: *looks at me and him* then you two can be partners
Siegerkranz: actually no, I’ll do this alone *walks off*
Somchai: wtf, fine, I’ll do this alone too
And I thought that was the end of it until earlier today (I’m writing this at like 11PM). Before I left for remedial classes (we have a lot of those here), my brother told,e that Somchai came up to him and told him how gay I was (wtf that’s literals what he said) for not partnering up with him.
TLDR decided that bring an idiot alone is better than having another idiot in my hands, and he got upset about that | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
K1N1RrqYwd6eXFXjMKmQeGvJ3IJvCIW1 | b75xv5 | {
"description": "leaving my emotionally abusive mother and cutting off all contact with her",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for leaving my emotionally abusive mother and cutting off all contact with her? | So first thing's first, I'm a 16yo "gifted" high school student and I've lived with my mom all my life. Since I was a kid, my mom has always been highly critical of me. My weight, my grades, my shyness, everything. She loves comparing me to her when she was a kid, how she got straight A's all the time, how she was a model when she was my age, how she graduated High school when she was 15, etc. I've never heard her say a single nice thing about me. Even when I'd come home with straight A's, she wouldn't congratulate me she'd just ask why they aren't 100s. When I developed bad allergies a few years ago and had constant congestion, she'd always call me annoying and ask if my peers found me annoying as well. I distinctly remember her telling me that I should never tell my friends about my feelings cause then they'll get annoyed with me. This isn't even bringing up her racism, homophobia and transphobia, and the physical abuse I went through as a kid.
My breaking point kinda came a year ago, when she let my useless brother come down to live with us again... and bring 4 other people including a baby. I won't get into too much about them (read 1st post on here if you want to know), but me and my brother's girlfriend, Gertrude, don't exactly get along.
Everytime me and Gertrude would fight, she'd take her side. Even in cases when I'd do nothing wrong. (Ex. A TV repair man came to the house one day and asked if he was at the right place, I asked Gertrude's daughter (13) if she knew, and her mom got mad that I didn't ask her, then proceeded to gossip about me in the next room. She's 35 btw) I'm sick of it.
Lately her newest kick has been telling me to give up in my dream of becoming a vet, or even going to college for that matter. Just yesterday she told me that I wasn't going to be able to make it to my dream Uni because no one would want to room with me in an apartment, on account of how lazy, nasty and annoying I am.
I've told her months ago that I plan on leaving her forever and cutting off all contact with them once I go to college, she and my useless brother called me a selfish and manipulative asshole for it. Even my very supportive Aunt told me not to do it. I want them out of my life and I don't know what else to do. So Reddit, AITA?
TLDR; My abusive mom thinks I'm an asshole for wanting to leave her for good and cut off all contact with her. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8nGZePH7U2uausjE9ZkIl6BIEi4vnLEA | b6i7pr | {
"description": "yelling at my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA I yelled at my grandmother | So to set the scene, we’re having dinner with my cousins, my dad sister and her husband, as well as my grandmother. The dinner was at my parents place.
I was 15, my oldest cousin (a boy) is eight year older than me, and my younger cousin (a girl) is five years younger than me. My brother is three years younger than me. (Not sure if it matters, but now you know)
After dinner my grandmother stood up and smiled “Now then! Why don’t they boys go out and play, while we girls clean up?” She said, looking towards me and my female cousin.
I kinda just looked at her and asked “Why do we have to clean just because we’re girls?” I knew she meant it that way, because she had the kinda of old school view. She looked really hurt so I just sighed and helped clear the table, I did however get really pissed when she shooed my brother away when he tied to help as well.
After my aunt and her family left, I yelled at my grandmother and told her that I wouldn’t help her clean anymore unless she asked my brother for help, she cried. A lot.
Honestly I regret the way I said it to her, but I don’t like being treated like a maid, simply because of my gender. My dad hasn’t said anything about it, but my mother was really disappointed in me. So it got me wondering am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
M9b3FaTKk4OtJB9xKG23z5PuKtvylIQw | 9v2m4t | {
"description": "causing a sickly girl to drop out of college",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For causing a sickly girl to drop out of college? | I know the title makes it sound bad, but hopefully my side of the story will make sense once I explain it further.
I am a student majoring in Video Game Production at a fancy tech college. This happened at the beginning of my junior semester there. I'm going to abbreviate her name to A for the sake of the story.
The class I was in required a group of 4 to make a game prototype with 2 working levels in 12 weeks. This isn't an easy thing thing to do, especially when you're balancing 3 other classes. We had to make all of our assets and code, and are not allowed to outsource. I am most comfortable in a leadership position, one where I can facilitate tasks and manage time, so I can help pick up slack wherever needed. I organized my group of 4 before the class started, and was very happy with my partners. All were very hard working and talented, and trusted me as a leader. Our second class comes around, and A walks in. She missed the first class, and our teacher defaulted her to our group. After talking with her, we were happy with it. She said she was an artist, and you can never have too many of those. Better yet, she can make and rig characters! So, we asked that she create a very simple character ready for week 3.
Week 3 rolls around, and she is a bit behind. She promises to have them next class, after the weekend is finished. We say that's fine. Every 4 weeks we have to give a presentation and update the class on our game's progress. Our teacher didn't love our idea, so A started making weird promises that were never discussed. 'We are going to have platforms the player can spawn while the player is in the air', 'we are going to have some great voice actress do our narrative work.' The rest of our group was just kind of dumbfounded. We had a clear vision for the game we discussed in a group meeting prior that she missed, and none of her promises were included in our ideation nor fit our theme.
Anyways, she missed week 4-6. When she showed up, the teacher asked what was wrong and apparently she was seeing a specialist about health issues a few states away. A promised our teacher that she was in touch with us, and sending us assets. She wasn't. I sat her down and talked to her, she broke down crying and saying she was sorry and going to start helping more.
Finally, week 8 rolled around, and she wasn't there. I went up and informed the teacher of the situation, and said the rest of us were working way too hard to put someone's name on the project who wasn't helping in the slightest. A showed up week 9 and had a talk with the teacher. After class she sent me a few messages describing what she was going through. It sounded tough, she couldn't breath correctly, and asked me to please vouch for her to the teacher.
I didn't. I told the teacher she hasn't given us anything useable in 10 weeks. He was aware of her health issues. After that, A didn't show up week 11, 12, or to school ever again. I felt bad about this, but honestly, if she isn't healthy enough to work then she won't survive our cutthroat industry. And it took us a lot of sleepless nights to make up for the work she never did.
TLDR: Sick girl was too sick to work on our group project, so I tattled to the teacher like a snitch full of stitches. She never showed up to school again. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
FRj1jdoTZQKN7P5bbYpLDMTaj5funpFG | b45r2g | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that when her gay friend tried to kiss her he was maybe doing it out of curiosity",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend that when her gay friend tried to kiss her he was maybe doing it out of curiosity? | We have been dating for a month, and we are sharing stories about our friends and stuff. She told me that she has a male gay friend, and once the friend said he wanted to kiss her. She laughed it off and didn't do it. This was way before we started dating, and a couple of months before the dude came out as gay. So I told her that maybe he was conflicted and just wanted to see how kissing a girl would feel like. Maybe he waned to experiment so that he could be clearer about his sexuality. She didn't respond well to this text, and said to drop the matter when I asked her whether I said anything wrong. I honestly had no intention of hurting her feelings, but I feel I may have mistakenly done so. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
7CYUoGYFlgYjs4hOlb2Mie3l3DAoNpEA | b53tsr | {
"description": "taking my ex to court for child support",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for taking my ex to court for child support? | A guy and I dated for a few months, I got pregnant, had the baby and he's seen her 3 or 4 times since she was born (she's 18 months now, the last time he saw her she was 2 months) and in the beginning he gave me maybe $200 to help with diapers and formula. He stopped seeing her completely, and we stopped talking completely when she was 6 months old, haven't heard from him since. With her getting older, I decided I want to go back to school because I'm struggling very much financially and it's effecting her. I can't afford basic things, but have been managing to hold on by a thread some how. I decided to pursue child support. I guess he got the notice in the mail, because a couple of his friends have gone out of their way to tell me that I'm not being fair. That "he doesn't make that much money, we've been fine without his help so far" and that I'm just "being a vindictive bitch" because he has a new girlfriend and they want to move in together. I didn't even know about that, and I truly do not care. This isn't about his girlfriend, and if she makes him happy that's wonderful. But that doesn't change the fact that I need help with OUR daughter. There's now 4 people at any given time telling me how much of a bitch I am for being "petty and childish". Legit had to put her in her room and go have a nice cry in the shower because the things they're saying are really hurtful. Am I the asshole for placing a barrier between my daughters father and his girlfriend?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
JoPgziOTz4pO8H503C3xzwSzivr74JE3 | a7g679 | {
"description": "telling my Cousin's girlfriend she is no longer welcome in my home",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Telling My Cousin's Girlfriend She Is No Longer Welcome In My Home? | This is a question I've been asking myself for almost a year now. The shortish version is that my cousin met his current girlfriend through my ex-partner. She lived out of state and came to visit my former partner a few times while my ex and I were a couple. She stayed with us in the house I owned and shared with my ex. On one of this visits, towards the end of my relationship with the ex, I helped set up my cousin and his now-girlfriend up, thinking it would be a fun breezy hookup for them. I didn't really expect it to go anywhere, given that she was out of state. Still, I gifted my cousin with a plane ticket to visit her, knowing he wanted to travel more and see if it could be a real relationship. She broke things off during that trip, but they stayed in touch. This continued as an off-and-on noncommittal hookup situation for about a year.
After my partner and I broke up, I assumed she would be squarely on his side, given their long history. However, things took a strange turn when she flew in to visit my ex at his new place. They had a big falling out, and he was apparently very dismissive of her. She ended up on my porch crying and needed somewhere to stay, and of course I said she could crash at my place. Things picked back up between her and my cousin (who was also my roommate). She extended her visit twice, changing her plane tickets, and ended up staying for almost a month. It was a long stay, but we were all getting along and my cousin seemed happy. I was relieved that she seemed to believe my side of what happened in the breakup, and it meant a lot to me that she wasn't buying the whole "crazy ex-girlfriend" stuff my former partner was spreading around. She helped around the house and gifted house plants and other little gestures of appreciation as a guest in my home.
She continued to come to visit more frequently as her relationship with my cousin intensified. Slowly, things between all of us started to degrade. From my point of view, she became very possessive of him and seemed threatened by me. We went on a weekend trip the three of us, and I was apprehensive of accepting the invitation because I didn't want to be a third wheel and was still having a hard time with the breakup stuff and didn't feel like I could really talk about that or process it around her. It was a really bad week for me, but I bottled it up and tried to just get through her visit.
I went on the trip against my better judgement, she and I got into a huge fight, and she essentially expressed the opinion that when she was in town, she wanted my cousin's entire focus to be on her. She felt he shouldn't even check in with me if he thought I was having a hard day or a tough week. Whatever I was going through could wait until she was on a plane headed back out of town. She also berated me for not expressing enough gratitude for booking the AirBnB we were staying at and said she thought I'd been rude to her all day.
The next day, I did my best to make up and lighten the mood. I bought t-shirts for everyone and tried to smooth things over. After she left town, however, I didn't really speak to her much after that trip. I felt like it was clear that she thought I was just in the way, just a means to an end. I am not a very confrontational person and don't always have the best boundaries. I felt like I couldn't really bring this up to my cousin, because no one reacts well to hearing bad things about their BF or GF. I also didn't want to confirm her apparent belief that she was right to be possessive of him by rocking the boat. I just wanted to keep a good relationship with my family/roommate and tried to keep my head down.
Eventually, my cousin begged me to fix things with her, because he was afraid she wouldn't visit him again if she and I weren't speaking. I said I would try to make up with her, but that he needed to leave me out of their relationship. There was one more big breakup somewhere in this timeline that seemed final, but when they inevitably got back together suddenly it was from 0-60. She had been planning on moving back to her hometown, but suddenly they HAD to be together. She scrapped her plans to move home, and they decided they were going to move to a different city together instead.
That's how she ended up living in my house rent free for several months, without anyone actually obtaining my permission. It was less that they asked if it was ok, and more that they semi-announced she was coming through for another visit on their way to their new city. She showed up one day, set up her work-from-home business in my dining room (keep in mind, I worked from home, too, at the time), her side hustle on the living room table, and sort of took over the house. The only thing I had a chance to veto was that she not bring her multiple dogs along, as I have two cats and it's not a big place. My cousin tried to guilt me and manipulate me into saying yes to the pets, but I stood firm on that at least.
While they were doing their on-again-off-again thing, I was having a bad year. I was not only dealing with all the lingering breakup crap, I was laid off from my job. By the time she defacto moved in, I was working three jobs to make ends meet. My stress level was sky-high. I was working three jobs to keep a roof not only over my own head, but over the heads of my cousin and his freeloading GF. She never paid a lick of rent. The hostess gifts and help around the house stopped, too. She had quit a very high-paying job somewhat impulsively to make the move, and the implication was that she was too broke to chip in. Every cent they made was being saved so they could set up house in their new city of choice. I didn't feel emotionally safe or comfortable in my own home with her there, but I also felt I couldn't really kick them out. They didn't have anywhere else to go.
Eventually, they did make their way to their new city and set up house. However, they left a LOT of stuff on my property, and promised to come get it soon. Over last fall and winter, they did come and get it one car load at a time. At one point, she came through with a moving van from her old home out of state and was theoretically going to get the last of it. She made a sort of half-hearted attempt, collected mostly just her things, and left behind a lot of my cousin's things, claiming there wasn't room in the truck. Mostly it seemed to me like she didn't want to deal with it.
On all of these multiple trips back to town to pick up their things, they never checked with me to see if the timing would work for my schedule. I'd just get a message saying "Hey, we're coming on such and such date." Dealing with a series of unpredictable drop-ins is a lot, especially when you're working three jobs and have an insane schedule. On another occasion, my parents were passing through their new city and dropped off a big car load of their things, mostly just to help me out. She hid in the bathroom while they unloaded all of it and didn't thank them before they left.
On the last trip to get their things, months after they moved out, I was preparing to move out of state myself. I had piles all over the house of what to pack, what to sell, what to donate, etc. There were contractors working on the house too, getting it ready to rent. I left a note for my cousin and his girlfriend on one pile explaining that this was the entirety of what there still was for them to collect and that it all had to go, because I was about to rent the house out.
I left the note because I had to fly out of town to a funeral, and wouldn't be there when the cousin + girlfriend came to get their stuff. I left the contractors with access to the house while I was gone so they could finish the job on a tight timeline. I trust them, they're good guys who have continued to work for my family, and my dad was going to be around in case they needed anything.
The contractors misunderstood the note and thought I'd left that pile for them. One of them took the items (maaaybe $300 value in total) to his workshop. When my cousin + girlfriend arrived, they saw their stuff wasn't there and called me. I realized immediately what must have happened, called my contractor from the funeral reception to confirm, and made arrangements for all their things to be returned.
I apologized to my cousin for the inconvenience and said I was sorry he'd have to come back to town to get everything on the following weekend as the contractor was at another gig and couldn't get away to bring everything back. My cousin mentioned calling the police to file a report just in case, but I asked him not to. The situation didn't warrant it from my perspective, and I didn't want the cops showing up to my home while I'm out of town. I felt bad about how everything had played out, but thought I had it all sorted.
Maybe twenty minutes later, my dad called and wanted to know why the cops were outside my house. I said I didn't know. He went to investigate, and discovered that my cousin's girlfriend had called them, and wanted to report the contractors for taking their stuff. My dad explained to the police officer about the mixup, vouched for the workers, and said the whole thing was a big misunderstanding. The cop confirmed that the property owner wasn't present, that the value of the missing goods was relatively small, and said it seemed more like a civil than criminal matter. The girlfriend wasn't having that, though. She insisted that the contractors must have used my note as "an excuse to take whatever they wanted." Never mind that if the house had actually be robbed they would have likely made off with my television, laptop, camera, jewelry, etc.
When I returned home from the funeral two days later, every single item had been returned, and the contractors apologized profusely. I was just grateful | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
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} | RIGHT |
mwng8dynjmUKXHyQceGPTjcv4bZ0Ngs1 | anxdsa | {
"description": "not \"sharing\" equipment at the Gym",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For Not "Sharing" Equipment At The Gym..? | I've only started to hit the gym recently, so I don't know much about gym culture (nor am I familoar with the terminology so please correct my mistakes).
The other day, I was doing my usual routine of pullups with a 1minute break between sets, and this guy insist that we should "share" the machine. He gets to do his sets when Im resting and vice versa.
And I said no; not only was he rude in suggesting we do so, but I have a strict break interval and didn't want it ruined.
AITA for not sharing the machine? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
sVoCIP4JkvppinsMxoEBsYsRcGCruuyI | as0tel | {
"description": "locking my room while on vacation",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for locking my room while on vacation? | So while on a 9 day vacation me and my SO locked a door the leads to our two rooms. Our 3 other roommates like to party a lot and invite guests that they may have met that day or night(sketchy people)without really knowing them. The thing is thats the only way to get to the garage for laundry other then going outside and around. I also bought a keypad for the garage with my own money so they could go the outside way when locked. They tell us it’s not fair and we can’t lock it but we don’t agree.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
mT7ish109gG5T2f8Sd7q3I5P98ZV4YrV | b3ccrs | {
"description": "accidentally revealing private information to my boyfriend's roommate's ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for accidentally revealing private information to my boyfriend’s roommate’s ex? | So I became friends with Sara through my bfJake. Jake and I have been dating basically since we started college a couple of years ago. He has a roommate named Dan who had been dating Sara since the beginning of the year. Dan is who I have my issue with.
Dan used to be head over heels for another girl last year before any of us met Sara. Her name was Kimberly. Dan and Kimberly dated a bit but she cheated on him, and always found a way to get him back. However, after Dan met Sara he stopped associating with Kimberly so much. Kimberly kept trying to talk to him despite him having a new gf, and I remember one night him leaving the apartment to talk to Kimberly outside in her car and tell her to stop contacting him because he was with Sara now. I remember being surprised, because Kimberly always had a hold over him, and I felt strangely proud of him for doing the right thing.
Recently Dan broke up with Sara and I’m not sure why, it had nothing to do with Kimberly I think he just wanted to be single. Sara wanted to meet with me as she was upset and wanted to vent. In an attempt to make her feel less like she meant nothing to him, I said “no, he cared about you, I mean after all he even told Kimberly to leave him alone because you two were dating”, thinking I was bringing up a point that she knew. Well - she didn’t. She had no idea they were still in contact, and that he had apparently hidden it from her. She confronted him and now he’s pissed at me. He says he had told me and Jake not to tell anybody about his contact with Kim (which I do not remember him doing at all) and that I had “messed with the wrong person”. I told him it was an accident, that I thought she knew and wasn’t trying to betray him in any way. I tried apologizing over and over (this is my bf’s roommate, I can’t have him hating me and I do feel bad), but he doesn’t accept. Despite the fact that this info was told to the girl he’d just dumped, and that what I told her about him telling his ex to leave him alone wasn’t even a bad thing (Sara wasn’t mad she was more just surprised/caught off guard), he is still treating me like a villain and being outwardly rude and cold toward me.
I don’t know what else to do. In my eyes it was a mistake and I didn’t know I was revealing anything bad, but I did apologize. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
OuXzn5B3LjeKJU0HSSnsFc1wr1ybKaT8 | b0btjk | {
"description": "making my friend terrified over a game",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for making my friend terrified over a game? | Tl;Dr at the end
This happened a few years ago, but it still bothers me to this day,so i kinda want to know if im the asshole here, (sorry about my spelling) for some backstory :
It was Thursday and we were at class, we had finished all our lessons, so we had nothing to do, our teacher told us we can do whatever we want, so a friend of mine brings out his phone and opens a "" horror"" game that functions like a prank, here's how it works: you ask the app a personal question and it knows the answer, now the app knows the answer because the person who downloaded the app is able to make the question and the answer.
So he decides to prank all of our classmates, he starts with me but I already knew the app and so did everyone else, except for one guy, so we go up to him, try to scare him with questions like: who's right next to me? What's this guy's name? What's that guys name? The app answered correctly for each one, he was still pretty confident the app is fake, but one thing that made the guy a bit scared was when my friend gave him the phone, told him he could ask whatever he wanted but me and my friend already had a plan that surprisingly worked, my friend would write answers and I would stay next to the guy and tell him he could ask the app my questions, and he did, he was now convinced the app was some kind of ghost trying to communicate.
He was religious and believed in ghosts, he also believed ghosts could murder whoever they want
This is where I thought of an idea
I started telling him fake stories about how if you ask this app more than 3 questions it would go after you and your family, he started being worried, then my friend, who overheard us, decided he would make the answers threats towards this guy's family.
So now, me and my friend, intentionally go sit next to him, and we ask the app a few questions, we read the answers loudly so he can overhear us.
At this point, he started trembling, tears started forming in his eyes, and he just loudly started crying, we started telling him it was fake, but he refused to believe us because he thought we were trying to calm him down.
Our teacher heard the cry, and was dead worried, she asked us what was going on
Luckily our teacher was very open so we just told her everything, she then tried to calm him down but it was no use, he just kept on crying for half an hour saying things like "I don't want my mother to die" or "they can take me but not my family"
We never thought it would get this far, we even thought he was just pretending he was scared (cause sometimes the app would just not answer at all) half of our classmates were saying that we took it way too far. So AITA??
TL;DR : some guy believed that ghosts exist and could go after people, we intentionally prank him with an app, he believes it and ends up crying
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
nrvn5vrDg2bMzxqsbpNvTRgV9VhwX2YZ | b96j9i | {
"description": "cutting all ties with a friend because she cheated on people in the past",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I cut all ties with a friend because she cheated on people in the past | Ok so there’s this girl who’s my friend let’s call her Hannah. So Hannah is a great girl and has been in many relationships with both boys and girls and according to her they’ve all been perverts and that’s why they broke up. I kinda felt that was suspicious considering she said she’s been in at least 7 relationships but she insists that’s the reason. So I believed her for some time but recently i heard through a mutal friend that she has hit on people in the past when she was in a relationships and sometimes having two or more relationships going on at the same time without the others knowing. I don’t trust cheaters whatsoever because if they would do something like that to someone who they cared enough about to date imagine what things they would do to me. She’s my friend and as far as I know she is unaware that I know this information. She’s a good person really but i just don’t trust or respect cheaters and I don’t know if I can be friends with someone I can’t trust or respect. I don’t know where else to go so please help me with this situation reddit. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
m57hPsCxUYfbwbwdS60U64w4iOCweiog | as7e8l | {
"description": "hating my dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for hating my dad? | My mom died ten years ago and I just feel like he made everything a thousand times worse. We had really horrible times that led to me leaving home a year later (I was 17). I feel that he strongly prioritized his new wife and her kids who he started dating 3 months after. My two sisters struggle with him too so it’s not just me.
Logically I know he did his best but I just feel so incredibly angry towards him a lot of the time. I find him incredibly domineering, somehow self centred despite providing financially (I know how insane that sounds) and consistently incredibly difficult to interact with. I have limited contact with him for this reason. We were a very close family before she died. I’m in my late twenties and I feel stupid as fuck that I’m not more over this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hdZct6rDwMV33gWeXqLBOlNwrbY74f7L | as1pqy | {
"description": "removing access to my xbox account from a childhood friend after a recent falling out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for removing access to my xbox account from a childhood friend after a recent falling out? | Through the use of xbox's "Home Console" feature, he had full access to my game library. Over the course of a year to two years "Dave" and I would alternate buying multiplayer games to play together on my account, saving money.
About 5 weeks ago he made a comment, kind of a low effort, offensive statement to someone in our friend group (Ben). Of course, Ben was offended, but Dave was even more offended that his comment wasn't just blown off. Over the following week, Dave went nuclear and cut all of us off, completely changing friend groups, repeatedly asking when Ben was going to talk to him again.
A week ago I noticed that I never saw Dave on xbox anymore, so I checked the rounds. He had removed and blocked me, Ben and the other member of our friend group, on all social media platforms.
I took away his privilege to my xbox account at that point. I am fully aware that some games in that library were money spent by him, totalling maybe 250 dollars, but that shouldn't give him the right to my full library of 180 games plus the ability to abuse my linked payment method (never was abused).
AITA in this? He and I were friends for about 14 years and he went full nuclear over a comment HE made, that didnt directly involve me at all. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
dhpCPj0RJW4IYKVw3arMQx435HWhqWKl | axrzdm | {
"description": "letting my dislike of the owner influence me in donating for a dog's cancer treatment",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for letting my dislike of the owner influence me in donating for a dog's cancer treatment? | The owner in question is an ex friend of an ex friend, so there really is no personal connection. We only met once, where he left left a rather bad impression on me.
Earlier I saw that he uploaded a status saying, that he needs 600€ for surgery for his dog.
A few minutes ago he messaged me saying, that his dog has cancer. My reply was an, admittedly rather cold, but what am I supposed to say, "Oh.."
While he has not asked yet I assume that he will request that I help out in raising the money.
As stated before, we only met once and aren't even friends. He only has my number, because I used to be and still am bad in social situations and just went with it when he asked.
He is mid to late 30s, when we met I was 18 or 19. The day was rather unspectacular aside from me having a bit of a breakdown while I was there.
He approached me, wanting to comfort me, I presume, but I knew that would only stress me more in that situation. So I told him to not touch me. It might very well have been too quite to hear, but regardless him hugging me did not make anything better and left a rather bad impression on me.
After that day he'd message me every now and then, being very keen on meeting me. It was rather creepy, however he would also have been totally fine with me bringing someone along, as long as I was comfortable. I am really sure that he meant well and had no bad intentions when messaging me after, but him telling me weirdly personal-ish stuff and out of the blue calling me "little witch", continuing to do so (/using this 🧙 emoji in messages, including his response to my "Oh..") after I asked him to please not, just don't make him seem like someone I want to involve myself with.
I do have money to help him out a bit. By no means am I rich, but I do have some disposable income.
How a money transfer would be handled I don't know, but I am not interested in personally meeting him again.
I bet he meant well when trying to comfort me and I really give him the benefit of the doubt that he had no ill intentions in asking me to meet. He for sure loves his dog and I really don't want him [the dog] to die of cancer.
But due to my previous bad experience I would prefer no contact with him going forward, which supporting him in such a manner would likely entail.
So yeah. I feel pretty shitty for not wanting to potentially donate to helping a pet stay alive, but I think I explained in quite a bit of detail, why I am feeling rather uncertain about how to act, if he asks. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wMCPf34cd8bFxjttZMD8buPZJenqYf8W | alx1nt | null | AITA my friend got mad that i didn’t come out to her earlier? | Since starting my junior year and realizing my sexuality, i made it a point to tell anyone who asked that i am bisexual. This led me to telling almost all of my newer friends, because sexuality often comes up in conversations. At this point i still hadn’t told one of my friends that I had known for a long time.
The reason I never told her was because we weren’t as close as we used to be (we used to be best friends), we didn’t have classes to talk in, and i didn’t want to text her out of the blue that i’m bi, as I hadn’t texted her since summer.
She found out through one of our mutual friends, and she was mad that i told our mutual friend before i told her.
I told myself i would tell her almost every day, but i always pussied out. I was quite nervous to tell her, and didn’t know how she would react. I didn’t want to ruin anything either. Am I in the wrong for not being honest with her and not telling her sooner?
TLDR: my friend (who used to be my best friend) found out i was bi through a mutual friend and she’s mad that i didn’t tell her first. Am I in the wrong for not being honest with her and telling her sooner? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Zc1pcDi8K3rPFix69hp7wDpbTT2XZ3HA | ar2oqi | {
"description": "not wanting to leave the house on weekends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to leave the house on weekends? | I'm living with my brother and my dad. Both of them are quite the outgoing type and staying at home without anything to do is rather mind-numbing for them. On the other hand, I'm a super introverted person that has just been recently diagnosed with panic attacks and just general anxiety, especially in public places or around large groups of people. Naturally, this leads to a fair share of conflicts.
My brother desperately wants to leave the house to do something, while I want nothing more than to spend my weekends relaxing at home. I find school rather tiring and stressful, and so the weekends are pretty much the only chance I have to relax. If we're going around on long road trips and such like my dad wants to, then I can't relax and it'll only end up piling up on the stress I've accumulated throughout the week. I've told my brother and my dad that they could just go without me since I'm totally fine with being home alone. I figured this would be the perfect solution since they would still get to go, while I get to stay home. My dad, however, said that the whole point of going out of the house was so we could spend time together as a family, so leaving me at home would defeat the whole purpose (though my brother would probably disagree since he doesn't seem to mind leaving me behind.) My dad also said that another reason he wants me to leave the house is because he wants to help me overcome my anxiety and get me used to large crowds, though I don't feel that that would be an effective method.
Lastly, I would just like to add that my brother is old enough to drive and has his own car so he could probably get out of the house himself if he wanted to, and that I am currently seeing a therapist about my anxiety so forcing me to go out into crowds of people probably isn't necessary.
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
r954Ek0Sdgj4e3ojcfHVviRQc2WPL9xd | b4jnqo | {
"description": "blocking my friend after being asked to be her maid of honor",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking my friend after being asked to be her maid of honor? | Hi guys!
To give some backstory, I’ve been best friends with the same person since we were children. We always supported each other through our own hardships and emotional struggles throughout school, but after some serious outbursts she moved away for a few months. After returning (the month after we graduated high school) she was a totally different person. She was very self-centered and narcissistic. I maintained the friendship hoping that she would become her old self with age.
A side story, I was abused by my high school boyfriend. It took me over a year to come to terms with and begin talking about. My “best friend” was the first person I told. She acted sympathetic and helped me through it a lot. I felt like my old friend was back and began hanging out with her more frequently. Then I found out she was in a relationship with my abuser. This relationship began after I told her about the abuse. I was devastated but couldn’t let go of my childhood friend for whatever reason. I distanced myself from her because I was afraid he was using her to get information about me, and he would frequently drive by my house when I wasn’t home.
They broke up, and she met her current fiancé. She has barely spoken to me other than to ask me for favors (food and driving her places) and just recently asked me to be her maid of honor. I don’t know why, but I just broke down. I cried for hours, and my other friends encouraged me to remove her from my life. I listened to their advice and declined her offer and blocked her on all social platforms.
I’m now starting to question my decision. It has been over a year since she broke up with my ex boyfriend/abuser, and I feel like my random block was unwarranted now. AITA??? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nF1mMPUzI40gjzRwrhdGgWqxtFUxaa2E | 9wb2qf | {
"description": "being upset when people bring their babies to work",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset when people bring their babies to work? | I work at a tech company so the employees are relatively young, like 90% are between 25 and 35 (I’m 30). Recently, a bunch of people have been having babies and going out on parental leave — all fine by me, no issues, to each their own, etc etc etc.
Here’s where I want to know if I’m off-base: in the past few months, a ton of the people on parental leave have been randomly dropping by the office with their babies. They roll up unannounced with enormous strollers and basically cause a huge distraction — people gather around them, feel compelled ooh/ahh, baby is passed around, etc. We have an open plan office where noise is already a huge problem, and these incidents disrupt the entire floor. During the most recent visit, I saw the two parents changing the baby’s diaper on the floor of the open office, partially blocking the walkway.
I guess my position is that the office is a place for work, and that it’s rude to cause a major disruption, especially unannounced. We have a large kitchen area separate from the working area where noise isn’t an issue, so if they really wanted to visit their teammates / show off their baby they could have people meet them in there. I don’t have an alternative solution to changing diapers on the office floor bc there aren’t changing tables in the bathrooms (because this is an office building used by adults, not babies), but I just feel like I shouldn’t have to see actual human shit while just trying to go to my next meeting.
Thoughts?
Thoughts? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
5YB21HZZsxJlEvAosLfEITyvMYf0C3cE | alk7b7 | {
"description": "talking to my friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for talking to my friend's ex? | I guess I should redefine by saying I haven't talked to the ex yet, so would I be the asshole if I did?
The girl and I aren't exactly friends. She doesn't go to my school anymore, but we occasionally text. We make "plans" every few months saying we should hangout and never do. One of those friends. Thought she does come to me for help/advice. I just want to make it clear that we are friends, but not really friends (if you catch my drift).
Recently her boyfriend of almost one year found out she had been cheating on him. I do not condone cheating at all. He is a really amazing guy tbh. I have contemplated messaging him, slowly talking, then possibly asking him on a date. So.. would I be the asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xvTdspdfvIG7jUhw2AbSsHZGdtRpHBXO | ao6ts9 | {
"description": "not giving a kid on my bus my discord username",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving a kid on my bus my discord username | For some background, me and the other kid, who I'll just call K, are 15 and 16 respectively. K is disabled, and is in special needs classes.
So every Thursday, I ride the bus with K. The bus is a special needs bus, and the only reason I ride it is because my sister, who is disabled, needs someone to be there with her when she gets off the bus. Sometimes we'll have small talk about school or whatever game or movie K is interested in. I don't mind the convos honestly, he just seems happy to have someone to talk to and the bus ride is only a few minutes every Thursday, so why not?
But when we're not talking, I'll talk to some friends on Discord. I really only use it for a couple private servers. So K saw me on Discord and asks me what kind of servers I'm in. I tell him I'm in a couple with just some friends and we just talk about music, shows we watch, etc. So after a bit, K ends up telling me his discord name and then asks me mine, so we can talk.
So I don't mind K asking, but I honestly don't really feel comfortable giving out my info like that. So I tell him no, I only really use Discord for those servers, and he kind of gets quiet, and doesn't really talk to me for the rest of the ride. So the next week comes around and he asks again. Same answer, and same reaction.
So I just want to know, AITA here at all for telling him no? Or because of the reason I gave? I feel kinda bad because he seemed disappointed but I just really don't like giving out that info. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9Y4iYUIodkRfuNH2jc5BxJZFAQAd5TF7 | 9vvrya | null | AITA | So I 17M had a best friend 18M from when we were both in 8th grade. She and I were so close, and she was the second person I ever came out to. Last year she started to change. She became negative and hateful towards everyone I mentioned and never said anything good about anyone. She also started to constantly comment on me being gay and “how gay I am.” I got tired of it and stopped hanging out with her as much. She started a rumor that I had a crush on my friend because we hung out a lot (I didn’t like him like that). Our conversations became extremely strained. Recently, I was helping my grandma clean her pool and she messaged me and I wasn’t able to reply, she she blocked me on snapchat. Then, I asked her new (super flamboyant and feminine gay) best friend if she said why she blocked me. Then, she messages me on Instagram and blows up cussing me out and finally blocked me. I wasn’t upset honestly. Was I an asshole at any point here? For distancing myself? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GO3uNtAVdSWMHN9lsznrUkRthYfsYFdR | 9yz3fw | {
"description": "getting tired of listening to my friend's problems",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting tired of listening to my friend's problems | There is this friend of mine who has some problems in her life. Now, she finds a good support in me as I am actually a good listener but lately, I have started become tired. I don't want to hear the same cribbing each day and how her life sucks. At one point I started even getting irritated whenever she speaks as it would always be about her problems. Ao, I have started ignoring her calls and even act asleep when we travel together or whenever she would speak, I just keep a blank face so that she stops after sometime. AITA for stopping being her outlet? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7g0DchWLhQLrXH2YT0E76AgDFuHpIsTv | aj2t5m | {
"description": "living a \"second life\" behind the back of my ex-GF",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA [m25] for living a "second life" behind the back of my ex-GF [f25] (No sex involved) | It happens a few years ago, after been in the relationship going for 2 years, in which she show herself like a high jealous person, like, "Who you talking with on the phone?" (everytime i got a message) "How has been your day, how many people have you seen, and who were those people? What you talked about?" (almost everyday I got home from Uni) and the subsequent fight, with cries, reproaches and anger because of the jealously, after a relative calmed summer, when we have to go again to the circle Uni-jealous-fights, I started to lie to her, on things related on my social life.
Things like i wasn't talking with my friends on uni, not going with them to class, not meeting at lunch, not talking with anybody on whatsapp, facebook, etc. This continue through the whole year, until she find out by looking conversations at my phone.
She confronted me about it and I started by negate it all, but she won't let it go, so after 3 weeks i finally tell everything, at least the things I remembered, because she wanted to know all the small details. And when I mean, all, is ALL. In any case it involved cheating, sex, flirting or any of it.
After that I wanted to split up, but she wanted me to fix "the problem" i have created, but I always thought it wasn't entilery my fault, so I didn't "make up" for it. Recently we broke for the best.
So who was in the wrong here?
TL,DR GF is jealous of my friends of uni so we got in a lot of fights, I decided to lie with whom i pass time during a whole year. She discover it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
NDLA1XsE7jQjLjt78UJIbJeSNmVeXkbJ | b1ob8u | {
"description": "wanting to take a trip my wife can't",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for wanting to take a trip my wife can’t? | Background
About 11 months ago, I booked an 11 day trip for my wife and I, using points, to Bali and Singapore. It’s first class all the way, literally, first class airline seats and the hotels are 5 star. It took me about a two years to earn the points and it was meant to be my 5th anniversary gift to her. We had a daughter a year and a half ago and before she got to big to remember, we were going to leave her with the grandparents for one last couple adventure before she left for university.
It was also something special for me because I am a huge plane geek and I booked the flights and routes so maximize the chance to experience long-haul flights on planes I wouldn’t otherwise fly.
The Issue
My wife has Chron’s and about 4 weeks ago started experiencing a bad flare. Like bad! She finally agreed to go to the hospital last week and was admitted for 4 days. It turns out she was skipping medication doses because she was worried about getting cancer. This made me angry but I also understand the fear. There is an increased chance of lymphoma but it’s very slight and it doesn’t matter if you take one dose or 10, its the same risk. She didn’t believe me when I told her what I’d read, she did believe her uncle thats a surgeon, who set her straight this week. I digress.
Thankfully she is fine. A small meds adjustment, a heavy dose of antibiotics and a “don’t ever do that again” talking too from the doc and she was discharged a week ago. I am grateful to have her home. I hate an empty bed and I was truly scared.
As a result of the flare, her doctors are telling her not to travel for a few months (up to 3) until she’s cleared of any new inflammatory markers.
Given the way I booked the trip and our insurance, I can cancel and recoup 90% of the fees and taxes I paid to book.
The Argument
I still want to go and today I asked her if she would mind me taking a male friend instead, who will cover the fee portion of his ticket. My family will still help with our daughter so my wife can have a break as well while I’m gone.
She said “absolutely not” and we had an argument. No yelling but a lot of frustration. Her point is that it was supposed to be for us and it’s not fair. My point is that I have already booked the time off, it will take another year to find open award space and that she did this to herself by messing with her meds.
Lastly, and I would never throw this in her face, but I earn 95% of our household income and I need a vacation! So, yes, I feel entitled to one, even with just a friend of mine.
Am I the asshole for wanting to go and arguing wit her about it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
ilNii981lXgF3HVljUO7rWV9i8yDS5qb | b7um0z | {
"description": "wanting my parents to stop tracking my location",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting my parents to stop tracking my location? | I am a third-year college student (20F) who goes to a college about 1 hour from my parents. Because I have family in the city my college is in, I stay with them over the school year and visit my parents during breaks. It is worth noting that the three family members I stay with are elderly -- one is mentally ill (schizophrenia), one has early-onset Alzheimers, and the other has significant hearing problems.
When I was in highschool and living with my parents, they tracked my location via phone. It seemed fair to me at the time. They continued this into college.
My college schedule (work, school, etc.) doesn't allow for too much free time. The free time I have is usually spent hanging out with friends, usually at their houses or elsewhere. I do try to spend time with them when I can, but since one seldom remembers my conversations, one can't hear, and the other isn't very social, our time together is minimal.
Sometimes my boyfriend and I will be spending the day together and I end up staying over at his house overnight. I prevent my parents from finding out by switching my location to my family member's home despite not being there. Occasionally, my family members will call my parents and claim I'm not home. When they hear this, my parents check for my location and start barraging me with calls and texts telling me to go home. When I see them over break, they chew me out for being dishonest and irresponsible, saying they can't trust me and that this is exactly why I need to be tracked. Sometimes I am actually home, my family just doesn't realize.
My parents told me they "don't really check" the locator unless my family calls them and says I'm not home. When I questioned why they don't just tell the people I live with to not worry about me and that I'm okay, they never really answered.
I don't think they understand that I AM being responsible (safe sex only, don't stay over if it compromises my academic studies, etc.) and their berating only makes me resent them. I don't understand why they're doing this. Everyone else I know is able to do all these things and their parents don't track them or anything. I do all my schoolwork, I go to class, and my grades reflect that well. I've never put anything before my schoolwork and I make sure I work hard at what I do academically. I seldom drink, and it's never to the point I'm blackout drunk. I don't do drugs or go to big parties.
I understand that you want your kid to be safe, really. But I don't think I'm a kid anymore. I think they should trust that I can deal with my own life and they don't need to hover over me like this. Where I am should not be their concern, especially if I can handle myself and know how to be safe. I just wish they'd get off my back about things like this.
AITA for wishing they'd stop trying to figure out where I am all the time? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
JGeucDMF4MSMG2pCxg4dR5pDF92BEcwN | aanbzi | {
"description": "asking for more gas money to see a dying friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for asking for more gas money to see a dying friend? | The damage is done and I've already ask but I'm really conflicted honestly
I'm going to see a friend in hospice, it's about a 4 hour trip and I plan on going round trip in one day. Upon telling a mutual friend of mine and my dying friend, she asked me to come pick her up about halfway (but I would have to go out of my way to get her) and she would "of course throw in gas money". I said sure and asked for $15 which she agreed to.
I just found out the toll for the bridge I have to cross to get her, a bridge I wouldn't have to cross if I was going right to the hospice care facility without getting her, is $10.50 alone. I plugged some info into a trip calculator and found out for the round trip, gas, highways tolls, and this bridge toll would be a whopping $65. I was going to make the trip anyway, so I'm of course not going to ask her to pay for a big portion, but does half seem fair? Especially considering I was going to make the trip anyway?
I asked her for $30, a little less than half, but I feel like a dick considering I already asked for an amount we agreed on. Is the fact we're going to see a dying friend even relevant?
I know most people use this subreddit to feel justified when they obviously aren't the asshole and you guys should absolutely drag me if that turns out to be what I'm doing | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ADtN34bxdg2ebSM0oQVhSSDtlkbdTFuo | ajsn5s | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to apologize",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to apologize | Me[22] F[23]
Clearly english isn't my first language so sorry in advance
Well , its exactly as the title says she would never apologize for anything , usually she'll comeback and pretend that nothing have happened and start joking . But when i stand my grounds She'll try to put the blame on me for anything like this time where i snapped
We were at work ( different places ) and were chatting on the phone all the day and she was fine nothing was wrong and she was laughing and every thing , then we got busy and didn't talk for a while . Around 5 pm she called me 2 times ( i wasn't near the phone ) and i answered the third time she called , she asked me why wasn't i answering and i told maybe i didn't want to answer ( in a joking way cuz she told me the same thing a thousand time ) she told me ok and hanged up on me ( one time i did this to her and she went crazy and started telling me how i don't respect her and how i'm a terrible person , I apologized and told her it wont happen again ) so i was like if its a big problem when i do it it should be the same when she does it but i didn't pick a fight with her all i did was telling her that was not cool and you need to apologize , she told me that she's not in the mood to deal with my stupidity , i let it pass and told her how on earth would i know that there is something wrong and you ,she told me i should have known , i told her that she does the same thing to me all the time and i've never got mad about it so why would you , she told me thats THERE ARE THING ONLY SHE'S ALLOWED TO DO ,by this time i had enough with this conversation thats clearly isn't going anywhere so i told her to not bother calling again unless she's going to apologize
She ghosted me for 2 days and then came back and started joking as if nothing happened i told her no you need to apologize for , when you do something wrong you need to admit what you did and apologize , she told me that it doesn't work that way for girls you can go all manly and start ordering me what to do , i then told her to if you want to talk to me apologize or don't bother she told me YOU KNOW I'M ON MY PERIOD AND I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR STUFF I CANT CONTROL ، i told her that period isn't an excuse for being a dick and even if its stuff you cant control as you say then you still need to apologize for it. Yeah and now we're not talking
I don't know why i'm in this relationship its as toxic as it gets | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
C5kDxXjyZ0y694Q5pubvkXsxxLEn7Dqb | avjr2o | {
"description": "having thoughts of leaving my relationship even if nothing really is wrong right now",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for having thoughts of leaving my relationship even if nothing really is wrong right now? | So I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and during those years some shitty things happened. She full on cheated on me 3 years ago but I pardoned her for that.
Our relationship obviously continued but last year it happened again, she got too close to a guy and "he kissed her, touched lips" (or so is what she said).
I guess I accepted her apology once more, but what still pisses me off is that she doesn't think there was anything that could give her the fault of having cheated on me.
Fast forward to today, we're in a pretty stable relationship, emotionally we're balanced on a day to day basis, she loves me and I love her. We do have sex problem as she almost always turns me down most of the times I try to initiate.
Knowing all this backstory, yesterday we had a small fight and after that I started thinking of all these things that aren't quite right.
Would I be the asshole if I left the relationship after all this time for those reasons? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MohEU6xjWWfuIW7Ue72watJqHGOz5sDS | ac5xb0 | {
"description": "telling my ex's parents about her drug use",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my ex's parents about her drug use | So recently me and my long term long distance girlfriend broke up. Long story short she cheated on me with my best friend of 12 years. When I got back home for a holiday I met up with her, and noticed how damaged and sad she was.
During a night out, she turned to me and told me she thinks she needs help. She had started doing coke and that day had bought a bag, by herself, for the first time.
Now to contextualize this, she had never touched drugs before this, but had been doing this for about 6 months. When I asked her how much she was doing she said about once a week. Which to me, is probably less than the actual amount.
Now I was really worried, so I spoke to mutual friends, and they agreed that she was being very self destructive and more so than we had ever seen. She was lying to these friends and the other ones also live overseas so would not be around for very long (i.e. I had no one who would be around to support her)
Since she had no real close friends living here, and her new boyfriend won't talk to me, I felt like the only people I could tell about her potential issue would be her parents. Also a point about her new boyfriend, he uses drugs, but I know he doesn't have problems with them. I've seen him use for years and always been able to separate himself from the drugs. I was worried her being around that environment will only show her how 'drugs are fine'.
I did so and she obviously freaked out and has mentioned she never wants to talk to me again. I totally understand that, I am just worried that I might have done the wrong thing. I was just worried she was going to destroy her life. I hope her and her family work through this and get it sorted out. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
cI8l99Scxursl9EaEee7h67MIJm9ggsb | b9mg45 | {
"description": "not wearing my hearing aids",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA if I don't wear my hearing aids? | I have hearing aids. Have for three years. I can't hear all that well without them, but it's equally a pain in the ass to hear with them. If I am at a restaurant, for example, I have two options, don't wear them, and risk "ignoring" someone because I don't hear them, or, wear them, and hear every conversation in that restaurant, including the sounds of eating, which means I still can't hear you speaking since now there's an overload.
​
For the above reasons, I almost never ever wear mine, but it means people think I'm rude for not responding, and they get extremely mad at me. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
H8Yniph98DmqFaBLpfPPEVbgHPufaOyl | a15xvp | {
"description": "asking where my dad got his news from",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA for asking where my dad got his news from? | I still love my dad but sometimes I feel like he gets pissed whenever he's put in a spot that makes him nervous or uncertain. My friends, colleges and even mother, don't mind exchanging ideas and validating each other.
But knowing my father, if he's wrong about something there's a chance he'll fuse it with the person who correcting him, implying "that's what I meant". It's very cunning.
**Recently me and my father were talking about the insight bot that landed on mars**.
Dad: "You heard about the bot that landed on mars?"
"Yeah, do you know what's its mission there?"
"Yeah"
"Could you tell me what your news sources told you?"
"I don't want to tell you"
"...How come?"
"Do \*you\* know what's the mission?"
"This is one of my fields of study, of course, can you tell me what did the news source tell you?"
"No you tell me first, you keep trying to verify where I got my information from. Try to engage in a normal conversation"
"What if you're wrong? What if the news source didn't get things right?" (his news sources aren't globally credible)
"Just talk like a normal person, stop trying to judge people it's annoying"
"I'm not, whats the point in taking space tech personally you're a trader."
"..."
"So you're not going to tell me?"
"I got it from nasa"
"...You went to nasa's website?"
"Yes"
"Then can you tell me what it said?"
"No"
Here I walk off I couldn't hold it, he's the type of person that thinks downloading anything is automatically a virus on his mac (such as chrome) and if you go to any other sites than gmail, netflix, wiki, google, or youtube. It's a virus. He isn't involved in tech what so ever and there's absolutely nothing wrong about that, and it's endearing to want to engage in such a topic with me. But it's ridiculous how he takes things personally so often.
I'd like to understand am I the asshole for talking to him like how my friends and co-workers, of all ages and backgrounds, talk to me?
I understand how this can easily be annoying, I've met those kind of people who exaggerate it. But it's difficult for me to continue a conversation about big and important topics without exchanging and verifying information. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 23
} | WRONG |
FrxIV0gyAIHxVYI0NL9nxkJXzSCxN41m | b3hp1a | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend \"well, you didn't check on me either, why is it that only I should do the checking\" when she complained I didn't say even a simple 'hi' almost the entire day",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend "well, you didn't check on me either, why is it that only I should do the checking" when she complained I didn't say even a simple 'hi' almost the entire day? | So my girlfriend is complaining when I don't check on her and now I feel like it's a man's duty in such relationships to always be first to say hi and all. This is actually bagging me, and without thinking hard around it beginning to use it as a measure of love. I mean that she won't spontaneously keep in touch until I start, could only mean she doesn't really love me right? It's really getting heavy on me that I'm starting to think maybe I should just end the relationship. That we are countries apart isn't helping either. Well, to be honest I am partly to blame, when i have so much on my hands, which I usually do, I hardly touch my phone, & sometimes work in no network areas. To come back to my phone after a couple of hours & not even a 'hi babe' message really bugs me. Even more hurtful when she says 'u didn't bother to check up on me, y should I?'. We recently fought about this behavior. But I'm I am asshole for thinking it's not anyone in particular's duty to reach out in a relationship, it really should just be spontaneous, whoever feels the need, or misses the other, or is in a position to? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
VysiBDvefYX8AxCArYqXSiozsTaMnDC7 | b4m0ud | {
"description": "not taking my sister to Keith Flints (Prodigy frontmans) funeral",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA for not taking my sister to Keith Flints (Prodigy frontmans) funeral? | My sister is a huge Prodigy fan and in particular loves Keith Flint. She messaged me today to say she's found out his funeral is being held relatively close by and is apparently open for fans to also attend, and asked if I could take her (she doesn't drive).
I'm not really into that music so don't have much desire to go myself, but I'd take her as I know it'd be a nice thing to do - however in her message after saying where/when and that it was open to fans, she followed up with "oh and there'll be loads of famous people there too I really wanna go."
If she wanted to go out of a genuine wish to mourn or pay respects I'd have no problems taking her, but it seems she might just want to go because she thinks she'd be rubbing shoulders with the stars, maybe get some good pics for her instagram. That wouldnt be out of character for her.
I've said I'd let her know. Would I be an asshole to say no? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
FiXDy1ay7avEzYR5lo1m2b1pbcDCQx86 | aza2m8 | {
"description": "telling my parents to stop making jokes about me and my bf",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my parents to stop making jokes about me and my bf. | Sorry for the spelling and formatting typing while having a mental breakdown and on my phone.
So some info, I'm a teen in highschool who after 8 years of isolation from peers finally got friends, a loving boyfriend and am happy in my school life. Up to this year I've never gone out with friends, been invited to small group parties or have even had friends up to the start of high school.
Ever since I got a bf my parents have been making jokes about us, kissed bf and parents saw "oh I thought you were just friends" " making kissy noises all the time" " slightly implied sexual jokes (nothing super serious)" " watches movie and with kissing scene ohhh it's just like you and your bf" ect. This gets on my nerves and makes me anxious. Not only that, but for the first time in years I've been truly happy and myself and I'm scared of a breakup even though my bf is happy he found someone who isnt troubled and can give the emotions he gives back as well. (alot of passionate emotions and respect)
I snapped today at my parents about their jokes that my dad has been making all morning and throughout the day. I've told them to stop countless times now they are angry at me for being so rude.
I dont really stand up for myself because i just get a wall of yelling and self defence. NOT ONCE have my parents apologised when a fight was their fault they are scared to admit they are wrong. Now their playing the victim card.
Some info about me:
I'm a good kid, no fights good grades quiet dont talk back or get into trouble, dont lie or stay out late(like I've had any reasons to) and I have a part time job to pay for school lunches, school activities and anything I want to do outside of school. Now I'm also paying for my ow car Insurance.
I'm being told I'm the asshole who can't take a joke (several hundred of the same ones) and that I won't survive the real world because everyone's an asshole. On top of this I'm told I'm spoiled for being allowed to hang out with friends and be with my bf, they haven't said no to alot of things, but they use the fact that they let me do something as a way to scold me when their unhappy with something minor such as dust not being wiped off a shelf every 3 days. I will acknowledge the fact they yes people have it worse off, yes we are pretty well off, yes they aren't the worst parents in the world and I'm most defiantly the the world's best kid, but am I an asshole for not wanting to be harassed by the same joke over and over again and calling them out for it?
td;lr : parents joke about my relationship life and I snap and tell them to stop, they play the victim as always. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
JgfxSB7DAJgNY2nVBs2IfmsnBCLL1ILs | b9kz2u | {
"description": "going into a restaurant with a large group two hours before they close",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going into a restaurant with a large group two hours before they close? | A group of 8 of my friends went to a semi fancy restaurant after a school competition. We arrived a little over two hours before they close and said that we were too large of a group to take at the moment. After this we asked if we they would be able to serve us if we went into two groups of 4 instead. They said they would and began to serve us. One of our other friends said that we were being assholes for trying to get in to the restaurant this close to their closing. So am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VJmsVjVd2QLec8ZmzRnyjODI2F9PBf4x | atwmph | null | AITA for wanitng to break up with someone who loves me? | I’ve been in a relationship with someone I love. He wasn’t planning to marry me so I broke up with him, after a week he begged me to marry him but after he rejected my request I started to realize that marrying him was not the right decision - I still love him but we will face many difficulties-. He cried a lot - he never cried before -. He said that he was going to die frim pain. He asked me to say the truth if I want to marry him or not. And I said I want be we must consider the difficulties. Actually I’m not really sure. I do love him but I’ll lose some many people including my parents. I’m not sure if it’s worth or not. Please let me know about what should I do? - I never loved anyone else but him, but I’m not sure if I love him enough to lose my family and hurt my mother’s feelings? Am I a horrible person who changed my mind ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xjOhjEZYzcwX8hw6h3I0ha0EMRqP96ix | 9zs1sk | {
"description": "not visiting my dad over the weekend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not visiting my dad over the weekend | I study at a college about 500km from where my dad lives. My friend is driving to his city today and my dad asked me to come for the weekend. I have 2 assignments due on Monday and so there is workload. It's my friend's birthday on saturday I also don't want to miss. I told my dad I can't come and he's almost forcing me to come. He said he'll be quite upset, and that he'll remove me from the university here and place me in a uni in the city where he lives. He's said this before as well. He told me to skip class and join my friends so I can come. I feel pressured.
I last visited about a month/half ago. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ctjJwSYeL3FHfWCq81GY43oYrPUDcXJU | abpxy7 | {
"description": "not wanting to be with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be with my ex? | AITA for not wanting to be with my ex?
Back story time, me and my ex were together for about 8 months but we broke up due to her cheating a couple of times and me finally realizing she's not going to change, but now that's in the past and I don't care that she cheated anymore I'm over it. Now me and her still talk and we're friends for the most part and I enjoy talking to with her and spending time with her still and sometimes we fall back into our old ways and do stuff and recently she asked for us to get back together, and she called me an asshole for saying that I didn't want to. Do to the fact that I just don't trust her in a relationship anymore and I don't wanna go through the whole cheating stuff again. I didn't think that I led her on I made it pretty clear that us hanging out (when we started to hang out again) ddin't mean I wanted to get back together and she accused me of leading her on.
So AITA for 1 not wanting to get back together
and 2 leading her on(if it seems like I did?) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
IhHKIqjXYmwE3pFdmIXWEEBRDLZ7pjXB | b3qjpr | {
"description": "not getting my son baptized",
"pronormative_score": 63,
"contranormative_score": 20
} | AITA for not getting my son baptized? | I have a 1 year old son, but I’m not with the father anymore. His dad is wants to get him baptized in a Catholic Church, and I disagree.
First off, I’m not religious whatsoever. I went to church when I was younger and I always had a hard time believing in God and religion as a whole. I find it really cool that people can believe in something that it has a powerful impact on their lives, but it’s just never been for me. My son’s dad has never been very religious either. He never goes to church or anything like that, however his parents go to church and all their other grandchildren are baptized. I feel as if he is being pressured by his parents to get it done.
A couple weeks ago he told me he is planning on getting our son baptized. I told him that should be a decision both of us make. He told me that he needs to be baptized and that he knew I’d disagree. I would never not allow my son to be religious if that’s what he would like, and I’d never discourage him from getting involved in church, but I want him to be able to make that decision on his own. I told his dad that if he gets older and he chooses to get baptized then fine, but I disagree with doing it when he’s so young that he doesn’t even understand what it is.
I’ve asked a couple people what they think and I’ve gotten mixed reactions- some people think it’s reasonable, and others think that I’m being too harsh by not allowing his father to make this decision and that it’s not even that big of a deal to get baptized.
Am I in the wrong here? Should I just let him get baptized and let it go and let him make his own decision to stay in the church when he’s older? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 37,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 26,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 63,
"WRONG": 20
} | RIGHT |
QKYlYix1g5BXl4O0NEMlHivSHMj4rpUo | ajxslr | {
"description": "not being this angry at my so",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being this angry at my SO | My SO (54M) took our only truck this morning, even though he knew I was taking the afternoon off to ride my horse. He’s been working on fixing up a fishing boat he bought. He is self employed and can take time off whenever he likes. He’s spent at least 20 hours on that boat this week.
I work for a corporation and have been overworked for sometime. My dad also died in Oct. and I feel tired and sad sometimes. I really was looking forward to getting out on my horse and the weather was beautiful and warm today after snowing/raining all last weekend.
He informed me he needed the truck this morning and said I could pull my horse trailer with his work vehicle. He unhooked the truck and took it. He left a hitch on the trailer.
Got in his suburban at about 1 pm. It had NO gas and the light was on. Quickly drove to town and filled it up. Got home and put the ball on the suburban. It was the wrong one and too tall for me to get the ball under the hitch. Thought maybe I could ride from the house to a nearby arena instead. Nope. Closed for an event.
Called the SO three time and no answer. Texted. No answer until an hour later. He had the ball I needed with him.
I’m seriously pissed and don’t feel like even talking to him. It’s not the first time he’s left a vehicle on empty or taken the truck when I’ve had plans. Just feel like he’s a completely selfish ass. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L6wYSGp9zldyLOevVp5Vwjfte5BJvfhC | aq48fx | {
"description": "butting heads with a new co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA butting heads with a new co-worker | I am a 25 year old female working as a lab analyst for a yogurt factory on 3rd shift. I am currently training a woman 20+years my senior who was just hired.
I am doing my best to explain to her all the facets of the job and all i get from her is huffieness. She also talks over me, and then blames me when she doesnt understand something.
At one point, she said "could you imagine being a 45 year old getting taught by someone younger than your kids?"
On most fronts, she is a decent person who learna quickly, but it is like she refuses to take direction from me.
Am i the asshole if i go to our supervisor with my complaints of her attitude? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cXVL8CVS2Sjzwb4Lh9BNVFXjovZlDtNK | adfwby | {
"description": "refusing to do the work of a coworker who is picking up lunch for the office",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For refusing to do the work of a coworker who is picking up lunch for the office? | Okay, so this happened awhile back but I was recently reminded of it and my rage boiled to the surface. I need some clarity or im gonna be bothered by this forever.
A little background. I had a coworker who, despite having the easiest job on planet earth, was a lazy fuck. Always showing up late for work, always bitching, always putting work on to me. The last part was INFURIATING. I genuinely want to get along with everyone I work with, you see these people more than you see your family.
But this fuck pushes me to the limit. Like, whenever I have work to do on the weekend, whenever im sick, I man up and do the job. I sacrificed I dont know how many weekends and holidays, yet this bitch was always asking our boss to call me in for help after hours or on the weekend, and I hardly ever complained.
HOWEVER, he pushed me in the worst way. We had a day where I was dealing with 12 separate orders of chemical trailers (im a chemical inspector) and I was swamped with paperwork. This dude had the worst habit of offering to pick up lunch for everyone in the office so he could leave the office and not do work.
He also hated me and never offered to get me lunch, asking everyone what they wanted but me. Idgaf because I either bring my lunch or I skip lunch to get the work done, since im not a baby that needs to be fed every 2 hours.
Well, on this day when im swamped this fuck comes to me and says, "Hey Yourgaylol, it looks like you need to head to the office and move 30 boxes of retained chemicals (we were moving retain rooms), I need to pickup lunch before it gets cold."
I was silently fuming. I then said, im kinda busy right now. Could we do this later. He said everyones lunch was getting cold. Then, he says that I should have my trainee (oh btw, in the midst of all this im training someone) do my actual job even though hes been on the job for a week while i go to the office to move boxes.
My trainee, wanting to be a good sport and make a good impression, agrees even though we're dealing with sulfuric acid and benzene and all manner of nasty shit, not to mention the actual cost to the company if 40k worth of product gets fucked.
So he basically wanted me to let a greenhorn run the show so I could move his boxes and he could eat a warm fucking lunch.
I then said, "You know what, no. Your lunch is your deal, you need to do your own job", or something like that. He fucking explodes, and says "Why are you acting like you dont work here".
Motherfucker, after all the hours i put into that job you want to repeat that. I said fuck off and went back to work.
This bitch calls my BOSSES BOSS. Fucking corporate, to tell on me. He says im being lazy and not lifting the boxes. The bosses boss call me, I tell him that captain fuckface can eat a cold lunch and that I personally either bring my own lunch or I dont eat lunch until the work is done. I also tell him its insane that he wanted me to risk my trainees health so he can eat a warm lunch.
He agrees, and my coworker ends up lifting the boxes. However, to this day he contends that im the asshole because I wouldnt lift the boxes while he was selflessly getting lunch for everyone (except me).
Thats the worst part, him thinking I was in the wrong. It drives me nuts. So tell me, was I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
diBJNXohxHq0SrDxplFPFiaNUDUt5STp | are25k | {
"description": "refusing to talk about previous relationships",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA - Refusing to talk about previous relationships | Recently, my fiancee, A, left after cheating on me. About a week ago I met B online and we've really been hitting it off, including having a successful date together. I share poetry on my snapchat story, just for \~ a e s t h e t i c \~, and much of it is poetry I've written about A in the past or I wrote about the breakup. B loved the poetry, and asked me where it came from. I told her I wrote it myself, and he asked what they were about. I gave a pretty vague answer, something along the lines of "a bad breakup with my fiancee". She asked me if I was still attached, and not wanting to lie to her I told her yes, but that I wasn't trying to get back with A and that I was done talking about it. She proceeded to repeatedly ask me about it and get upset, so I explained to her that talking about A brought up a lot of negative emotions and I didn't want B to think that I was obsessed with A or that B was not good enough for me. She's relatively conservative when it comes to concepts about relationships and love, and has never been in a relationship, so her stance is that I could never truly love B if some part of me still loves A. I argued that I can love more than one person. She continued to ask me things like "how long were you together", "why did you get engaged so young", or "do you still talk". I've answered each question frankly, usually with just "four years", "because we felt like it", and "no". However, she's unsatisfied with these answers and asks them every other day. Should I give her a deep dive on my entire romantic history, regardless of how much pain it causes me? Or am I the asshole for not telling the whole truth? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
INs5P00AtD4jYQmPA1o8hu9tkZqRMR1z | a1a0vf | {
"description": "my girlfriend telling me that her friend spent the night",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for my girlfriend telling me that her friend spent the night? | **Background:** I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for a little over 3 years. For the last year and a half, we have been long distance due to my work and her going to college. I generally think of her as being faithful and I value our relationship highly.
So my girlfriend told me that her new friend came over to hang out, but ended up staying the night because they were too tired to go home. My girlfriend admitted that the friend asked if they could cuddle, and though she claims to have been uncomfortable with it, she did anyways. My girlfriend eventually went to bed and left the friend on the couch.
My girlfriend told me that she was a little uncomfortable with the friend coming over to begin with and that the cuddling/ staying over made her even less comfortable. As she told me this, I was unhappy at the fact that this friend stayed over and that they cuddled on the couch because I see this as a pretty intimate activity, even for friends. I would like to trust my girlfriend and believe that she wasn't interested at all, but it still bothers me. I also feel like the way she told me seemed to convey guilt which probably isn't a good sign? Anyways, I was a little mad, so I wasn't really talking as she was looking for support over the fact that she felt uncomfortable from the whole situation. Now she is mad at me, saying I acted weird by not being comforting to her.
Am I the asshole for not being immediately supportive to her after all that happened?
**Tl;Dr:** Girlfriend's friend came over and they cuddled. I don't like that this happened, and she's mad that I am not consoling her after this, since the situation made her uncomfortable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
QUXKony92SNtVT0YPD0bNywcWDtAkqj3 | a2hn8z | {
"description": "refusing to laugh at comments that aren't funny",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for refusing to laugh at comments that aren’t funny? | I know someone who likes to laugh after making normal, unfunny observations. I wish I could just refuse to be around her but there are professional reasons I have to see her daily.
Other people tend to laugh along with her observations (I assume out f politeness) and I used to too but lately I’ve started just going stone faced and staring off blankly. Being polite just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. Some examples below:
“Oh my god that salad is hilarious (pointing at my Caesar salad). Undoing all the good of vegetables with all the crap you put on top of it. I love it! HAHAHA!”
“Oh my god! My pants have rolled under my tummy fat! Hahahahaha!” (Lifts up shirt to reveal that her pants have rolled slightly down over the tiniest little bit of fat ever. She is very skinny.)
“I was going to do laundry last night but I have two glasses of wine instead. HAHAHAHA!”
AITA for staring blankly at her while she screams with laughter? Do you think everyone else thinks ITA? Thanks for your feedback. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
feEJhFbt949gFQ8xBCSuuGTBAhQEItJj | acfqxs | {
"description": "not being able to accept I am having a step sibling and strongly disliking my stepmom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being able to accept I am having a step sibling and strongly disliking my stepmom? | Sorry if this is too long but I wanted to give a background to my feelings
My mom and dad got divorced when I was pretty young however I handled that well and I was fine with the idea of loving them both differently. I mostly lived with my mom and went to my dad for the weekends and honestly that was also fine by me.
After a while my dad started seeing this women who was represented to me as his “friend” and MY “friend” also. And please note that during the time I wasn’t capable of determining what was the difference between friendship and relationship. Therefore for the the longest time I thought they were just friends.
Fast forward to the day when my mom pulls me aside and starts talking about how my dad is actually in a relationship with this woman and that they like each other since they never bothered to explain it to me. And honestly I was pretty shocked but again I was ok with that also because I knew my dad was bad at explaining and expressing stuff and during the time I liked her girlfriend.
Sooo again fast forward to when I am around 13 my dads girlfriend tries convincing my mom to tell me that her and my dad are getting married but my dad is bad at talking so that she wants her to do it. As a result my mom gets irritated and tells them that it’s them that they are getting married therefore my dad should be the one explaining this to me. So my stepmom cones back home and a few hours pass, then we all start playing this game while its my dads turn to play she starts explaining how they’re getting married and etc. And my initial thought was happiness although it was a bit awkward that it was her telling me this and not my dad and that my dad just kept playing the game without really saying anything.
Like during the time I didn’t care and instead I just asked when was their wedding because I obviously wanted to attend. And she said it was a week later. During the time I didn’t know how to respond to that because I was shy and also was reluctant on how to show my feelings so I was just like “ohhh ok but my school starts next week...” and she was just like “Yeah well it’s not going to be crowded anyways it is going to be small and boring.”
Again I say NOTHING.Because honestly I just want to be nice. However then she starts talking about how her family actually doesn’t know I even exist because where she cones from it is NOT ACCEPTABLE to marry a man who already has a kid.
I realized how fucked up by this as I grew older and actually started to understand what was actually happening. However me and my mom moved to another country and I saw my dad like around a week a year as a result.
2 years ago when I visited him we all had a fight because his wife was trying to hide me from her mom when all I was trying to do was to get my stuff and get out of there. But yeah so we all got into a fight his wife tried to pull me back into the house and ran after me when I left the house crying just to look good for my dad which good me even more mad. However again after 2 months my dad visited me and we solved our shit but I haven’t talked to his wife on the phone or anything since.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago ( I am 16 btw) he called me on the phone and we were talking about my life and what he was doing casually and he basically just told me that his wife was 7 months pregnant which I just replied with “Ohh great Im happy for you!” Then after when he hung up. I just started crying because initially I didn’t want a step sibling at all.
Tl;Dr : My step moms family doesn’t know I exist, she did not want me in her wedding therefore planned it in such way and my dad shows little to no reaction to this and tells me that her wife is 7 months pregnant on the phone. AITAS for not being ok with this and support him?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6daYFVkgEtaA6uDmO4IuPtIV0sMVQQhV | aqmy3v | {
"description": "not really wanting to see my mom anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not really wanting to see my mom anymore? | So I moved to the east coast a few years ago and my family still lives in the Midwest. The place I moved isn't really a big city or anything but i'm close the beach and there is still much to do. Now, every time she plans to come see me, instead of just staying at my house for a long weekend shed rather spend hundreds of dollars on a hotel or VRBO. The first time she came to see me she rented a place on the beach. The second time she insisted we meet up at Myrtle Beach since its a vacation spot only a few hours away from my home. When we were in Myrtle beach she complained of trailer parks and kept saying how she likes the West Coast (SoCal specifically) sooooo much more. This btw, makes me feel like a piece of shit.
NOW she wants to meet up in Las Vegas. I'm still pretty young and make enough to live and go on short vacations with my SO a few times a year. When we go away we pick somewhere we can drive and bring our dogs with to save money, I really cant afford a plane ticket, hotel room, food, and money for activities.
I really wish she would take her vacations with her husband and leave me out of it. I'd be happy if she could just come to my home and do activities like a normal human. I'm actually kind of offended, did I not move to a good enough area? I don't live in a trash house or anything. I'm happy here and if you don't want to visit me because the place I live isn't good enough, that's great but fuck does that make me feel like shit. I should mention, we didn't grow up wealthy and by the times my parents split my mom had it really rough. She didn't make shit, now she has a decent job and a husband that makes enough. I feel like since she's become upper middle class she thinks she's high class or some shit, which I am definitely the opposite. I don't care for materialistic items whilst she spends $70 on a bottle of perfume and buys coach purses. She's VERY judgmental. OH and she CONSTANTLY asks me when my bf is going to propose. It's like she reminds me that my bf of 4 years hasn't popped the question yet, I mean shouldn't she be asking him when hes going to propose? Last time she said something (end of December when she was driving me to the airport) she asked me again and I went off. I kindly asked her to shut the fuck up and it makes me feel like shit that she feels the need to remind me that he hasn't asked yet.
Oh, I also visit home once a year. I fucking hate going home. I hate being interrogated. I hate how cold it is in the winter. I hate feeling uncomfortable at the home I used to call home. I hate her husband.
Am I the asshole for not really wanting to see her anymore? I believe she wants the best for me and I do love her but she drives me crazy and she makes me feel shitty for not choosing a place like San Diego or Seattle or NYC to move to, instead I chose a cute little town that doesn't have outrageous traffic & outrageous taxes etc. I'm happy and I wish she would just be happy for me.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
n4fGSiR9ZLWsLZypvlqI6626vUpc9JDl | 9ykipv | {
"description": "wanting to leave my gf",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for wanting to leave my GF | Background:
I go to school full time during the week and work weekends. 4 months ago I got on tinder as a way to meet people in a casual setting because my social life is awful and I wanted a way to de-stress a little from graduate work.
It was great for a bit and then I met who would be my current girlfriend. I've always been very explicit when I meet anyone by telling them I just wanted casual dating at the moment (e.g. going out, sex, no commitment). But, we started exclusively spending time together every weekend and she then asked me if we wanted "date" and not see anyone else. I was hesitant but I figured it would be fine if things stayed as they were (See each other here and there on weekends).
Flash forward 2 months later and I realize this pretty much feels like an actual relationship. The time commitment is way higher than I thought and she has a lot of emotional baggage that I don't feel prepared to handle. She wanted me to visit her family on thanksgiving and I suddenly realized I mean a lot more to her than she does to me which REALLY makes me feel like the asshole cause either way i'm hurting her at this point.
I feel pretty guilty but I thought I was explicit. Maybe not enough, and maybe I sent the wrong signals by agreeing to be exclusive. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
mJs2CNqki5VmzUdPiRkjxQa42InFUjcf | a71j2q | {
"description": "not going to a concert with my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going to a concert with my family? | People in my family wanted to go to a concert and we talked about buying tickets for it. I immediately said: "No I'm not gonna come, don't buy tickets for me" Fast forward to now and I found out they had still bought tickets for me. I still did not go as I said before. They started saying that I was the bad guy for wasting the money that they spent on tickets. Their logic was "Don't judge a gift by it's wrapping" and said it was rude to decline such offer. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bgQ2FROVlsgdbs9pERHNFBlHQkZ1XZuX | ai5seg | {
"description": "wiping up my the bathroom counter with my gf's towel",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA if I wipe up my the bathroom counter with my gf’s towel | My gf is a disaster in the bathroom. She washes her face like she’s auditioning for a Neutrogena face wash commercial, she leaves her hair stuck to the mirror and around the sink, and there is toothpaste spit everywhere.
I’m pretty tidy, and it drives me insane that she never wipes up after making the bathroom a total mess.
I used to be nice and grab some toilet paper and wipe things up, but I hated how the TP would break apart and leave an even bigger mess.
I guess I could get some paper towels in there, but most likely but I finally snapped one day, and grabbed her towel she uses for drying off after showers, and her face after washing it.
I figure, she made the mess, it should be her towel that wipes it all up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
LOJDjVPUSjSjOoQ2Dk8ToqH3m8PN8Vi1 | b584vu | {
"description": "not driving my friend to the train station",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not driving my friend to the train station? | I live in Chicago and attend a university here. My friend from out of state goes to school with me and is staying with me over spring break since he got a job downtown and has to stay here to work. He's staying at my house for no charge of any sort, of course.
He has to leave every morning at 10:30AM to get to the train station to take him to the city. He thinks it's a dick move that I don't want to wake up every day and drive him there and that I'm making him Uber.
From my perspective, he's already staying at my house and being fed which is already a huge favor. I don't think I should be expected to drive him there every day.
I understand that it's a minor inconvenience to me, but I wanna spend my spring break sleeping in. After being bent over and gorilla fucked by last quarter, this week of sleeping in is the one solace I have left.
Am I being an asshole or would I be letting him walk on me if I drove him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
eMKq8OQUXBKzRcENhb8p7zX8ZWzozghc | apa38v | {
"description": "freaking out on my roommate for recording the squeaking bed noise from my girlfriend and having sex",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA I freaked out on my roommate for recording the squeaking bed noise from my girlfriend and I having sex? | So my girlfriend came up to visit for the weekend up at my college. My roommate(one of my girlfriends and I’s best friends) and another mutual friend said they were leaving to get Burger King. My girlfriend and I were trying to do the deed one last time before she left to head back to her school today. As soon as he left I texted him, “Hey text me when you’re headed back, and take your time eating we kinda need some alone time.”
He didn’t reply but I knew he saw it, so my girlfriend and I got right to it. And in the chaos of it, my phone went off which I didn’t notice. He said he needs to come back to get his notebooks to study. Then he said they were at the door. I didn’t see it going off until my girlfriend and I finished. I texted him apologizing and saying you can head back to the room.
He then said, they bailed because the bed was squeaking and we were kinda loud. I was mortified but just said alright well come back whenever.
He then sent in a Snapchat group that I was in with some other friends a video of him out the door where you can *CLEARY* hear my girlfriend and I going at it. It was meant to be a joke but we didn’t take it it well.
My girlfriend is relatively new to sex(she lost her virginity to me not long ago at all) and gets really anxious about things like sex. So she freaked out and started crying. So I freaked out on my roommate and cussed him out pretty bad and said if he comes back in the room anytime soon I’m clocking him in the jaw.
We made up and everything is okay now between us, but now we’re disagreeing to if I overreacted or if he seriously just crossed a line.
Am I the Asshole here guys? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
UuD0hn7MpcI07J7YLDtYvgenirAP0V77 | afxtlz | {
"description": "cutting myself for my gf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for cutting myself for my gf? | This happened a few days ago, but our relationship has been rough since January 6th because she started treating me like trash. We got into a pretty big discussion a couple of days ago when I confronted her for the way she started treating me lately and she told me she had started cheating on me (like everyone haha) and I started cutting myself, she suspected I was doing it from the tone of my voice (we were on a phone call) so she asked if I was cutting myself, I told her I actually was and she told me I was manipulating her and she wanted to see if I was actually doing it, I showed her and she said I was an asshole for doing it for her and that she now feels like trash. I feel like an asshole now
Note: I only told her I was cutting myself when she asked, I wouldn't had told her if it was up to me
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
l4KuV8FsaF12Tqc00dd8YBJc7edWSvIw | b6ya8d | {
"description": "getting my co-worker fired because she was pretending she was dating me to her family",
"pronormative_score": 218,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for getting my co-worker fired because she was pretending she was dating me to her family? | I'm using a new account because this still hasn't leaked at work I was the one who did this and my reddit is known to my coworkers.
​
So, This last week I got a coworker of mine fired for misconduct. I don't feel bad but my coworkers are now up in arms saying who ever did this is an asshole.
​
So, my ex-coworker used to be a good friend of mine. I met her when I got a job here about 3 years ago and we hit it off. We were extremely close friends and I had misplaced trust in her. One thing she liked to do was take photos of us together and post them on snapchat and facebook. I never thought much of this and thought she was just sharing what we did like a normal person would do. I was wrong.
​
About a month ago a man randomly reached out to me. He claimed he was my "girlfriends" brother and that he had finally tracked me down. Through a long back and forth it turns out that my coworker has been pretending to her family and friends back in her home town that I was her boyfriend. She had a second facebook with her original name on it and had constructed a weird narrative in which I was her boyfriend. She claimed I was "old fashioned" and didn't use social media to cover up her lie.
​
This is fucking creepy, right? I documented and archived everything and corrected the record with her brother before reporting this all to HR. I didn't feel like confronting her (I honestly didn't feel like talking to her at all) and distanced myself immediately. She picked up on this quickly and started to post on her second facebook that I had broke up with her.
​
HR immediately transferred me away from her and kept us apart at all times. I'm guessing they told her what was going on as her facebooks disappeared over night and she began avoiding me like the plague. It was to late though as this monday she was fired for inappropriate behavior. From what HR and others have told me she will never be working in the field again.
​
HR has kept this as quite as possible and has not leaked any details to anyone. The only thing my other coworkers know is that another coworker reported her for misconduct out of work and she got fired. Most on them are angry about this. The current opinion is that who ever did this is a spineless asshole who just ruined a girls career for "nothing". I'm never going to come out about this and have asked HR to never mention me because of this.
​
So, am I the asshole here? I feel what she did was wrong and she deserved it but am I wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 218,
"WRONG": 28
} | RIGHT |
gxUPJ2gaNA9Lbs9M7tTH88gtto2ejsUg | b9rjq6 | {
"description": "not telling my boss he overpaid me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | WIBTA if I don’t tell my boss he overpaid me? | I work a part time job at a front desk, mainly to help out, I don’t get paid much, basically the last week I maybe worked 7 hours, my boss continues to call me off of work. My boss really doesn’t like me, not sure why, other then he’s in a lot of stress and I was hired by his old GM and he had to fire that GM for numerous problems. As far as I know he doesn’t particularly love anyone he’s hired, I’ve done everything I can to make sure I’m being trained the way boss wants versus what the old GM wanted. I really enjoyed the job for awhile, it was social, and it wasn’t too bad. But lately every time I’m scheduled I get a call saying I’m not needed. I checked my direct deposit this morning and it was almost $150 over what I thought it should be. So am I the asshole if I don’t say anything? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
qMn8MzL5zNv3kiQTMQ75xOBt1zPAmIwT | a2du7m | {
"description": "giving someone my number and then secretly deleting it off their phone later",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for giving someone my number and then secretly deleting it off their phone later? | Throwaway.
I met a girl at an event I was helping out with, and we had a pretty good conversation (surprising for me, since I'm normally an awkward gal.) It was all going so well and I thought I'd made a new friend, but then not even an hour into the conversation she asks me if I'd like to join a 'motivational course'. I'm like oh cool, that sounds good and then she tells me it costs about £1,000.
Like, dude. How can you try and sell a £1000 program on someone you've literally just met? I felt like I've been MLM-ed. Not only that, I'm a student, so I don't have that kind of money around. I jokingly say this and she goes 'oh it's cool, you can pay in instalments over a year.' So great, I get to go into debt?
Now, to be fair, she seemed like she was genuinely pushing a motivational course (for those who think it might be some sort of MLM thing) because she could give quite a lot of details on the course (unfortunately I've forgotten the name) and what they have to do on it and how its structured. She also seemed genuinely passionate about it. But it just really soured everything for me- I thought that either there's some kind of benefits for her to recruit others, or else this is some kind of culty thing that they're recruiting for. So later, I deleted my number off her phone when she wasn't looking, because she said she was going to contact me 'so we could go together'. AITA? I feel a bit like one, because it was her phone and I did willingly give the number, and I felt like I should have been a lot more upfront about not wanting to join the program instead of just going 'mm-hmm, interesting.'
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
GpZeLn87L0pBXSx7Ae6OrawubMJoXEoA | ar6is7 | {
"description": "breaking up with my bf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for breaking up with my BF? | My boyfriend is 24M and I'm 25F. I really did (still do?) have feelings for him. The word "love" was even used... it has been about 2 years. It's just that he's a total mess... he drinks so much that a friend has to pick him up when taxis refuse him service because he is vomiting everywhere... that was one thing that made me start to question things. He isn't 18 anymore - but he might as well be with the shit he pulls. He has goals and is smart... but still a total mess.
In general my enjoyment while being with him has just gone way down. I feel like a jerk or somehow shallow because I know he loves me... and sometimes when he says he loves me I don't know what to say. I want it to work out... I really do. I want him to be successful and for us to be successful, but I have been finding it hard to picture that recently. I never wanted to hurt him or break his heart - and I know that breaking up will do just that.
WIBTA for ending this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9aWY08c7q00SSHOKINzZG6CvV3lpe3Tc | b3id82 | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend not to chew around me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend not to chew around me? | For some background, I have a terrible relationship with my father. Because of some of the things he’s done, we speak very rarely and it’s always strained. A lot of my memories growing up revolve around him lying and my very early memories of his lies stem from him telling me he’d quit chewing tobacco, only for me to find out later that he was still doing it. Bottom line: I heavily relate chewing tobacco to my father and his lies.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. When he and I first started dating I knew that he and his friends liked to chew tobacco. As we got more serious I told him that I know I can’t tell him what to do but that I am really against chewing tobacco. I said I didn’t care what he did in his own time but asked that when he is with me that he please not chew tobacco. We had a long conversation about it where I told him about my dad and I also told him that I am just grossed out by it in general and would prefer not to see him doing it. He agreed not to do it around me and even said that what I was requesting and my logic was “very reasonable.”
So last week we were going out with a group of our friends on Friday night and in our group message one of the guys jokingly said the outing was “BYOC” (bring your own chew) I separately said something about it to my boyfriend and he got pissed at me. Said that he “likes to do it when he’s drinking with his friends and if he feels compelled to, he’s going to because it’s his body and his choice.” He also said that he doesn’t understand why I’m still against it because “I know him better now and know that he’s nothing like my father.” I got upset with him and said that just because my feelings for him are stronger now doesn’t mean I’m okay with him doing it, honestly it makes me wish even more that he didn’t do it. I was also frustrated because he had already agreed not to do it around me and is now going back on what we agreed. He can literally do it ANY other time when I’m not around. I never give him a hard time about this or even ask if he still chews (at one point he said he was trying to quit). He eventually agreed not to chew that night and we resolved it but his initial comments are still bothering me and causing me to think I might be making an irrational request. So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
jgI2nkGhaBl7OFDvYwA0hbgqq4RQVY8b | 9vmrs8 | {
"description": "pointing out that a ladies night out is sexist",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for pointing out that a ladies night out is sexist? | I work as a waiter, and most of the out front staff is women, whilst most of the cooks are guys. I am one of four male front of house staff, and I found the girls discussing a night out to a stage show and dinner. When I asked when it was I was told it was for women only, I said that I found it a bit crap that the girl’s got a night out, but the guys couldn’t because they’d be no one to cook. The owner just shrugged and said it wasn’t her problem.
I then tried to arrange a night out with the other out front boys, to which some of the girls tried to invite themselves to, and I told them they couldn’t come, it was a guy’s night, to which I was labelled an asshole. Am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
XvfaNy7V0zTAjFqydM1KqTSSxtiNJd4D | areix0 | {
"description": "wanting to quit my job",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to quit my job | I have a good, stable job. My colleagues treat me really well and my boss is a top notch guy, who regularly invites me to his home for dinner and such. The problem is that i see no future there, im relatively young with little education, so i know i cant expect too many job offers, i make enough money to pay for rent/food, but its by no means a good paying job. I have to cut a lot of expenses and i buy the cheapest food i can find. AITA for wanting something better? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
b8W7XKU3QzGOupx6e3j6BUSeKdXXJ5xQ | 9vqj61 | {
"description": "cussing out my sisters so for something that my sister did",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cussing out my sisters SO for something that my sister did? | I know, I know. Without any context it sounds like a very dickish move, but hear me out.
My sister had been dating this guy, let’s call him Rodrick, for about 3 months. He was a cool guy, but I always liked fucking with him despite him being 3 years older than me (he’s a freshman in college, my sister is a senior, and I was a sophomore in high school), and it was never a big issue.
My sister is a whole different story. She’s a major introvert: which may have been why her idea of fun with her friends was fucking with her little brother (me), cause she doesn’t know how to be a normal human being. (Side note: it was RARE for her to have friends over, everybody liked her and I’d consider her “popular” in school standards, but she still didn’t like confrontation, good or bad)
For as long as I can remember, every time she had friends over, or somebody she looked up to, she’d turn into a major ass (with no repercussions). One example, which was when I was in 4-5 grade, her, an 8th grader at the time, locked me in her room with herself, me, her best friend, and her friends little sister. This little sister (my age at the time) liked me, but the feeling isn’t mutual. My sister wanted me to kiss this girl but I refused, so she decided the next course of action would be to power-kick me in the nuts then run downstairs laughing with her friend (she’s been a soccer player since she was like 4 by the way so you can imagine how much that hurt).
And that’s just one example, other things would be opening the bathroom while I’m taking a crap while her friends are over, or busting into my room and fucking everything up then leaving, anything that would be embarrassing to me, or any friends I had over. The other part, the whole “no repercussion” thing, is that she’s never gotten in much trouble for these things, because my mother has no clue how to handle it. Keep in mind my sister only does this shit when her friends are over, when they’re gone she’s actually a decent person. So usually, my mom just says “don’t do that again”, and moves on, which pissed me off more than anything.
However, this time is different. Now it’s her boyfriend, and it’s the first time he’s coming over to visit our extended family. Usually when he’s over it’s the same old opening the bathroom door and being a general nuisance while Rodrick stands there thinking of what to do, but usually playing along with it. Anyway, the family get-together is going nicely, so far my sister hasn’t done anything, so I expected to get out of it. The next day comes, and my relatives are getting in their cars to leave. We’re outside in my neighborhood, I’m surrounded by like 8 close relatives, neighbors are outside, Rodrigo is saying goodbye, and my sister decides it’s the perfect time to pull my pants down.
Usually, this wouldn’t be that bad, but she went IN for it, like underwear and all. Next thing I hear is Rodrick laughing, so I pull my pants up, turn to him, and say something along the lines of “You know what Rodrick, fuck you, and fuck your girlfriend, it’s your fault she does shit like this.” Then turned and walked back into my home.
Of course, like usual nothing really happens to my sister, this time I was the one who got the heat for it. But now she doesn’t do much to me.
One thing I’ve thought about is that the only reason I did was I did was because it was her boyfriend, not some cute girl that went to our high school. Still. Am I the asshole for cussing Rodrick out instead of my sister?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
u9HKAktZPckE6mAnmRkTieft0TiuU48w | b1aa0s | {
"description": "not wanting a kitty to get adopted",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting a kitty to get adopted? | I volunteer every Thursday at an animal shelter. last week, I totally bonded with a sweet cat named Priscilla. She immediately started cuddling with me, purring, snuggling, etc. It was great. But when I came back today, Priscilla was gone! I learned that she was adopted by an elderly woman, and I almost burst into tears. I know she's in a good home now, and it's wrong to be bitter, but Am I the Asshole for wanting to keep her to myself a little longer? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
bLfvuHs2IGzxDty57dvYlc6blpj7gZKJ | avj9a6 | {
"description": "sending a video of a bus driver running a stop sign",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I send a video of a bus driver running a stop sign? | Yesterday on my way home, I was following behind a school bus that had a sign in the back of his (or her, not sure of the gender) window saying “no kids on board”. The bus swerved a little bit out of the lane and then continued along just fine. It approached a T shaped intersection with 3 stop signs. The bus and I are going on the top of this T and there’s typically no one ever at this intersection in any direction when I come through.
I was surprised to see that he applied brake for a very quick second then continued through the stop sign like it didn’t even exist.
I got the whole thing on my dash cam including license plate and vehicle number and not sure if I should share it or not with the school district.
On the one hand, there were no children on board at the time (also didn’t see any in any of the windows in addition to the sign), and there typically isn’t anyone at this intersection, so it’s not like they put anyone in danger *at this moment*.
However, I do consider this to be dangerous driving. The brief swerve before the stop sign makes me feel like the driver was distracted and didn’t see the sign which is dangerous driving either that or figured no one was around to make stopping necessary. Me, I’m not a school bus driver and I was alone in the car and I stopped at the stop sign because that’s the law and even though no one appeared to be there, I never know if someone will gun it through or be hidden somewhere. I don’t know if he would or would not have done this if children were on board, but this makes me feel like they’re not a great driver and deserve whatever disciplinary action would follow as a result of my sharing of the video.
I’m a little conflicted here and curious on your guys’ thoughts. Would I be the asshole (wrong) to share this video or should I just “mind my own business” here and refrain from being an “asshole” by not sharing the video? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
WG9GTWpn1aTACQnMkcfwh0lbDhRp5iPp | adfidq | {
"description": "ignoring my bf when he says something that's not interesting",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ignoring my BF when he says something that's not interesting? | Hiya. We're both 19. I come from UK, him from Ireland, and sometimes when I say something relatively serious he'll respond with a joke, which are usually funny but also often exhausting when I just want to have a conversation. We've talked about it, it's fine really, he knows it's not the most satisfying thing for him to do.
He has anxiety or something and is kind of afraid of being too real, or at least tries to get away from it instinctively, so I can understand why he does it. However, it often left me with no response available, because my mind can't switch track away from serious that quickly, and sometimes I do honestly need to talk about the thing (in which case I do just repeat it and he does actually answer). This led to me not even trying to respond if he does it, with my dual logic being that it also might teach him to be a bit more serious.
Still, I feel cruel or at least impolite without at least giving him a pity chuckle when he does it.
TLDR: BF responds to serious queries with dumb responses. I ignore them to teach him a lesson and because I can't thing | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
g3s2Z21MfYVhn67GbdMA0zJ3AlSFGxKF | ailxvj | {
"description": "turning in a call center worker for contacting me via facebook",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For turning in a call center worker for contacting me via facebook? | So i made a call to a new phone service this morning. I was taken care of by a nice lady who took all of my information for me and mailed me a sim card to activate once it arrived. She told me that even though it was her day off she would come into work to activate it for me. So she told me she would call me in two days in order to verify i recieved it and to go through the process of activating it.
so later on in the evening i start work (graveyard shift) and i get a message from her on facebook, explaining that she shouldnt contact me but she just wanted to make sure i could contact her when i recieved the sim card, and we could go from there. I messaged back and said i appreciate it, and thanks.
Then she told me she thought i was nice, and that i should call her, which was strange and i said no i am at work. She apologized and said she didnt want to get me in trouble so she would just talk to me later. And she said gnight, big hug!
So she knows i am gay and have a boyfriend because we talked about him during the call. But he is really creeped out about it. I mean she has everything from my home address to my social, i mean she shouldnt have it but i gave it to her for my account.
So some people at my work say its not a big deal and i shouldnt turn her in. And some people say otherwise. What do u think reddit?
Sorry for formatting, mobile | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2rNcmFuW2VscXGtjFPOZrYgbYGnVftft | aik9yb | {
"description": "being mad at my sister for saying me and my friends names on an online game",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my sister for saying me and my friends names on an online game? (tl;dr at bottom) | Alright so I was playing a game with my sister, let's call her Adi. My friend, let's call him Mason, joined the game and Adi yelled "Mason!!!" for absolutely no reason, she barely knows the guy. So I told her, "Hey don't say peoples real names online, it makes them uncomfortable" and she said, "No, as long as I didn't say their full name it's fine." So I just continued playing the game, slightly miffed at her.
​
Fast forward to the next day when I talked to him at school. He agreed with me that she shouldn't have said his real name and he was kind of pissed about it as well. We caught up with her at the end of school when we were leaving the building and she just ignored it and tried to change the subject.
​
Today me and Adi decided to play the game together again and I was chatting with a person and she said (not my real name) "Shut up Alyssa, you're being annoying" Or something similar to that. I talked to her (again) about saying my name online with people I don't know and she just said, "No, I won't stop. That's stupid to feel like that and you're kind of being a bitch about it.
​
tl;dr:
Sister said me and my friends name online and when we asked her to stop she ignored it and just continued doing it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WpnMywlJzE0iDavCdmZ0SegVf3s4sidb | avrgen | {
"description": "ignoring a homeless man",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for ignoring a homeless man? | This happened months ago but I just remembered it now. I'm not from a big city at all and you wouldn't encounter many homeless beggers in my town so I wasn't sure how to react when this happened. I was in London to see a game and just see the city again, I'd been there before but not in a few years. My friends and I were on the tube and this young man wrapped in a blanket came and did a prepared speech about his situation and how much money he wanted so he could shower etc. Where I'm from, we're told to ignore anyone who comes up to you and asks for money because they could be anyone trying to scam you. And I had a very small budget for this holiday so I couldn't and wouldn't give money to this man. So I did what I was taught and just looked away and ignored him and he got annoyed and said "you don't even have the decency to look at me? Is no one going to look at me?" And he just moved on in a huff and then made his speech to more people further down the tube. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
KbNyaJtNE0SUjBb7Qph8PbV40lw9M1yB | ahq2ns | null | AITA because they asked for my card over the phone and I asked for a manager? | So long post and on mobile so please excuse all the spelling/formatting.
My wife and I are expecting and she wants a rocker to go in the nursery. We end up at Bassett with a sales person who was nice and not pushy. We found a chair we liked but weren't completely sold on the fabric (especially for the price) until the manager offered the floor model to us for half off. We eventually decided to take it.
We live about 45 minutes from this place, so on the way home we get a call from the sales person on her cell phone explaining that she failed to take out tax on the purchase and we owed another $100. Looking at the invoice it added up, but to be sure I asked what my options were to run my card. She said I could give it to her over the phone or drive back. I told her if I had to drive back I was bringing the chair with me, but phone would be fine, I would just prefer the manager who offered us the discount be the one to take my card. In my mind this would confirm that this is legitimate, especially since she had called from her cell and not the store line.
The manager quickly calls me back and proceeds to berate me for implying that his employee would steal my card info and not wanting to pay what was clearly owed. (At no point did I say I wouldn't pay it BTW) I was in disbelief at the way he was accusing me, but remained calm and tried explaining my point of view, but he kept talking over me and mistaking what I had told his employee. Eventually I just started keeping quiet and letting him talk himself out until the line would get quiet. I told him (again) I had every intention of paying and I didn't think my request was unreasonable.
Then... he says "I told her to call you on her cell because I didn't think it would be a big deal. You seemed nice in the store, which is why I did you a favor and sold you a nice chair at half off, but I guess that was my mistake." He also kept implying that it was sad I couldn't do basic math.
I'll admit I lost it here a little bit and dropped a few f-bombs. Regrettable, but I felt justified. I then told him to just take my card info and as I began reading it he told me "well let me enter it directly into the computer because God forbid I write it down. I wouldn't want an employee to steal it."
I gave him my info and hung up. AITA or an idiot for wanting to talk to a manager?
tldr - A sales person I had just dealt with called me on her cell and asked for my card info again. I wanted to verify it was legit by giving it to her manager. He talked down to me. I cursed.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QE2BwgEj8zYuLFXKUg8vrWI1EcKjadUg | b5ai5a | {
"description": "not wanting to fund raise for my daughters for-profit daycare",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to fund raise for my daughters for-profit daycare? | Our toddler daughter is in day care a few days a week at a day care. It’s a ‘normal’ business. By that I mean it’s not at someone’s house, not at a church, not run by a non-profit organization. It’s just a business with probably 5-10 adult staff on-hand at any time. They’ve opened up a second location recently and seem to be doing well. The parents are happy and they have great reviews online.
My wife and I love the daycare. They do a great job, it’s clean, well-managed, modern, safe, etc. However, I feel at times they play on the emotions of some parents. They sent home a cookie dough fund raiser book to raise $5000 for a new playground. They’re asking families to each sell 5 units of this cookie dough to raise money for the playground.
My wife immediately was all excited about it and wanting to go to the neighbors and family members to sell some. I’m like whoa, take it easy here. I don’t feel comfortable trying to guilt neighbors/family into donating to a for-profit business.
My wife’s argument is that it’s just what you do with kids and there’s going to be many of these fundraisers through our child’s life. My counter point was, yes there’ll be many of these and it makes sense to do it for things like raising money for youth sports, school trips, non-profit orgs, etc. But this is for a business. I tried to use the example, of the little restaurant down the street the wife and I like. If the restaurant wanted to add an outside dining patio and asked us for money for that, it would be weird, right? Wife agrees. But then she would not see how what the daycare is doing is the same thing.
From my wife’s perspective, because there’s a kid involved, it’s just what you do. And our kid will be using the playground. That’s great our kid will be using the playground, but we always pay like $200 a week to them, they’re doing great, and opening new locations. Why do I need to donate money to them on top of that?
AITA for thinking this is pretty ballsy by the daycare and not wanting to guilt my family members to pay for this?
My solution is maybe the wife leave the fundraising forms for cookie dough by the coffee pot at her work if people really want cookie dough that much they can order some, but leave it at that. No personally asking people to do it.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Mg3T1JoMq3RqKDpAT87UhVJEMQRCyRCc | amsb7e | {
"description": "disliking my mom's online \"boyfriend\"",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for disliking my mom's online "boyfriend"? | Okay, so about 2 years ago my parents got divorced. Although my siblings were taking it pretty rough, I’m pretty much an emotionless shell by this point, and also I’d seen it coming from miles away, so it didn’t phase me too much. We set up a system where my mom has us for half the week, and my dad has us for the other half. It was going pretty well for the first few weeks, until my dad got a girlfriend. Both my siblings and I are not particularly fond of her, nor she of us, and she has a few fairly bratty kids of her own, though I don’t know them too well.
My dad’s planning on buying a house with her and probably getting married. Despite how much I oppose the idea of my parents remarrying, I don't care too much; I don’t see him often anymore, as I tend to mostly stick with my mom.
However, as of about a year, my mom has acquired this online boyfriend through a mobile game she plays. She’s always talking about how great he his, despite never actually seeing him in person. This is where the real issues start;
I’m pretty overprotective of quite a lot of things, and I really don’t think my mom is making the right decision. First of all, she knows literally nothing about this guy, except for what he’s told her (who knows if it’s even true). Second, I’ve had friends and heard stories about people catfishing to the extent of proposal; For all we know, this “boyfriend” could be a 300 pound dude living in his mom’s basement, and not the rich dream-guy my mom believes he is. And third, I’ve been too scarred by other traumatic stories of abuse and the like from online suitors to even give the idea of my parents remarrying a second thought.
I’ve tried to discuss these topics and more with my mom, but every time I speak even *slightly* ill of her “partner” she gets very upset and shuns me for the rest of the day, as she’s doing right now. I often feel like I’m being very selfish and I should just let my parents live their lives, as I’ll be moving out in less than a year (hopefully) ,but what about my siblings, who are all younger than me?
As sad as it makes me to upset my mom, I can’t shake this incredible feeling of unease every time I think about it for over 10 seconds. Worst of all, she’s constantly exposing her personal information to this guy, such as where we live, the names/daily activities of all her kids, etc, and it really freaks me out.
I don’t know what to do. Am I the a-hole in this situation, or am I simply overreacting? I’ve asked for advice from my bishop, church leaders, and even my teachers, and they all tell me my mom should facetime this guy or cut it off. Once again, I’ve tried to explain it to her, but she’s so blinded by what she thinks is love that I can’t get through. Even on good days, my siblings or I will be talking to her, then as soon as she gets a phone call from her “boyfriend”, she completely shuts us out to talk to him. Any advice y’all could give would be greatly appreciated. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
W3C3blsRwALVkegLZxh7TYpcEsbjUF9I | aicybj | {
"description": "reporting a tv Noise Complaint",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For Reporting A TV Noise Complaint? | A few months ago, one of my (32M) neighbors Jim with whom I share a bedroom wall with got a nice new TV for his bedroom. Since then, he has it going almost every night all night, from 10-11 PM to 6-7 AM. It sounds like it's directly up against that wall we share, which has minimal noise insulation to begin with. I measured it with a sound meter app (which I realize isn't the end all be all in terms of accuracy) and it tends to run about 42-50 dB on my side of the wall. I'm a relatively light sleeper and I've been losing sleep because of it for weeks. To top it off he occasionally comes back from the bar with friends to party well past midnight and is blasting music when his roommate who pays almost all the rent is out of town, though admittedly that has slacked off as of late. I've also been woken up a few times to screaming matches between him and his girlfriend, or him and his roommate who is letting him live there. I really dislike confrontation with neighbors especially when I know he's at least verbally violent and am concerned what will happen if I escalate. I've asked multiple times for the bedroom TV to be off at reasonable night time hours (11 PM - 7 AM) or use headphones. The last time I tried to ask, he cussed me out from across the wall "I can't FUCKING listen to the FUCKING TV? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" and then turned the TV up a little. I'm going batty, I'm a working adult who needs his sleep and I feel like I'm not making an unreasonable request.
WIBTA for bringing up the TV noise to management? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YSjBRaAi9vdUcVOq8rXfH8B3llkVbyXV | asso2t | {
"description": "being mad at my sister for telling mom I was \"stealing\" things from her house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my sister for telling mom I was “stealing” things from her house | (Sorry for bad English)
So my mom and I are neighbors. We often come over and borrow things without asking, but return them fast(we leave a note)
So I was sitting her house while she was on vacation. My sister was at my place while I made dinner. I noticed I was low on tomato sauce, so I just went next door and took a can from my moms pantry. Also I borrowed her vacuum because mine is broken.
I replaced the tomato sauce the next day and also put her vacuum back.
My sister said nothing.
The first thing she tells mom when we meet her at the airport is: XY stole your vacuum. And things from your pantry. You should check when you are home and give her a list with things to replace(in an absolutely NOT nice tone like in our childhood, when she wanted me to get mom mad at me for things my sister did)
My mom just said it’s fine we always do that.
I’m mad at my sister because she didn’t ask if that’s ok and just told mom.
Now she is mad at me because she “was totally right and it was still stealing”
Mom just says just get over it... but somehow I can’t :/ AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fhg9Hl9Bp2VoWduFBJyezpv4mqxMN6b3 | b9315y | {
"description": "telling my mother I don't love her",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my mother I don't love her |
I [21F] have always had a rocky relationship with my mother [late 40s]. Ever since I can remember, her behavior towards me can suddenly switch from caring to abusive and negligent. (Straight-out ignoring me, attacking me physically and/or verbally as a way of '*parenting',* using sensitive/personal information I provided to her against me, blaming me for not doing things that are (generally speaking) the responsibility of a parent, and more.
I used to doubt about what I felt about her, but I always tried to convince myself of forgiving her, since I've been raised to love parents unconditionally. I was a responsible kid, going to school by myself starting from the age of 6, babysitting my little brother, ... I didn’t know why I deserved to be punished.
When I reached puberty , I started hating her for how absent she was. My brother was violent, yet she didn’t teach him to stop, and she would never cook for us, resulting in me getting an eating disorder. (She then tried to enforce anorexia onto me.)
One time on my way home from my best friend’s house, I had an encounter with a strange man (which I cannot describe, because it violates the rules of this subreddit)
Luckily, when a group of people walked by, I jumped between them and escaped him.
When I got home in shock, having possibly escaped a kidnapper, my mother whipped me, because she “had been so worried about me being late”.
Because she confided in me about my dad cheating on her, I felt bad for her and kept forgiving her.
My mother stopped physically punishing me when I was 19, but she became even more mean. "You are just like (random family member) : selfish, entitled, asocial...” She even ditched my brother and I in the middle of Vienna when on vacation, because she thought I was laughing at her behind her back? I found her an hour later, eating at a restaurant.
Eventually, my mother filed for divorce & I started spending more time at my boyfriend’s and less time at home. She’s nice to me after she’s missed me, but later starts lashing out again.
I've accepted the fact I don’t love her, but I wouldn’t tell her, because it’d just do more harm than good.
Yesterday, she kept ignoring my questions, I told her that I would like if she could stop acting like I didn’t exist. She sighed and saying that I always complain, because I’m bitter and asocial. I told her it was because of our strained relationship & told her everything. Then she tried to justify physical punishment on kids. I accidentally let it slip out and said : "**I would never hit my child. What you're describing is not my real personality towards the World, it's just how YOU see me, because I don't love you."**
I knew I fucked up but she immediately went to her room.
Maybe what I said mentally fucked her up even more, plus the recent divorce makes me feel bad for hurting her. I’m worried she might hurt herself. I've been thinking of apologizing, but I don't know if I should. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6hkJgXJiWNG8vFYzxJoVWWOTAqinsCRn | b6d1re | {
"description": "not wanting my friends to team against me in board games",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting my friends to team against me in board games | I'm pretty good at the board/card/tabletop games my friends and I play. Mostly Dnd, munchkin, four souls, and Monopoly. As a result of this my friends have taken to pseudoteaming against me in order to beat me. Am I the asshole for thinking this is unfair and unfun for me and wanting them to just play the game normally instead of cancelling out all my forward progress by sheer force of numbers | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
17Wtz8eOtOBTgqMGLqWgFwZYGWrL7i6d | adyhl4 | {
"description": "pushing my friend to make the mother of his child take better care of herself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for pushing my friend to make the mother of his child take better care of herself? | i just want to start by saying this is a very stupid situation and exactly why children shouldn’t have children.
my friend, we’ll call him T, (21) knocked up one of his friends bc there was a possibility she couldn’t have children in the future. about a month or two ago, (she’s about finished with her pregnancy now) she posted on facebook asking if anyone wanted to meet her at the bar for drinks. mind you she was very pregnant at this point.
i read the comments, all people telling her she shouldn’t drink while pregnant, and she’s goes “IM ALLOWED TO HAVE ONE GLASS OF WINE!!! ITS HEALTHY!!!” So i message T and ask if he knows that she’s drinking and he informed me that she’s been smoking cigarettes too. i got really worked up inside but just decided to mind my own business.
fast forward to today, i see on facebook that their baby is weeks behind where it should be in height and weight. i messaged T and asked how everything was going and he tells me about how his baby is missing marks, and that it upsets him when she drinks and smokes and that he’ll never forgive her if their baby has a birth defect.
i asked if he said anything about this to her and he said no. so i start preaching to him about how they’re creating a life, a person who is going to grow into their own being and how hard it is to take care of a baby, let alone one that is disabled. he just tells me that he “should” say something to her but i don’t think that he will.
im also a mother, and that’s why (i feel) this upsets me so much. but i also sometimes don’t know boundaries. none of this is even my business but they’re young and have no idea what they’re in for with a child, so i want to give them as much advice as i can, but am i being a pushy asshole?
TL;DR: my friends baby mama is drinking and smoking while pregnant, their baby is suffering, am i the asshole for pushing him to at least try to make her take care of the baby she’s growing? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
HpAA6M63sqWFbS56EQ2WttlT7E8s6Stv | b86hj4 | {
"description": "not paying a friend back who decided not to come to my bachelor party",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not paying a friend back who decided not to come to my bachelor party | This is very current and still playing out... but here are the details.
I am gettin married in August and having a July Bachelor party in one of my favorite places... Colorado. My best man and I have been planning the party for months. Getting reservations at restaurants, finding airfare, doing research on things to do and very importantly... booking an AirB&B to accommodate 10 guys for a whole long weekend. Since the lodging was going to be over $2.5k for the 4 nights (in breck), we didnt want to make the Best Man front the entire cost for all 10 guys... so we took this as an opportunity to see who really was going to come, and asked for around $250 per dude (split evenly). Within a day, all 10 people paid the best man via venmo and he paid and booked the house immediately. Please note... this was back in like November.
​
Then a few weeks ago, one of the friends... who I knew would have been the guy to do something this, hence asking for the money early in the process... told me he wouldn't be able to go because he wouldn't have enough money (yet bought a new ATV a few weeks back that adds to his collection of 2 motorcycles, 2 boats and now a race quad, plus tons of CC debt). I thought... ok thats fine, at least we have his money for the room so I don't have to ask every other person for even more cash.
​
So this past Saturday night comes along and I get a text from him at 9:30pm saying "Yooo, is there anyway I can get that money back that I sent (best man) since I’m not going to the bachelor party anymore? I neeeeed it to pay down my cards." I responded with "Sorry dude but that was kind of the point of getting that money in advance. We already paid and booked the room for all of us."
​
Sparing you the time of reading all the back and forth texts or hearing the details of the 20 minute phone call of me trying to explain why I will not be giving him the money back for A, B and C reasons, am I the asshole in this situation? Should I be giving him his money back? He's a good friend and a nice guy but damn... he was not very polite about asking for it back. When I told him no... he threatened to find a way to dispute the transaction between him and my best man and told me "Doesn’t really matter to me who’s pocket my money comes out of, ill just take it back." and "You pay me and (best man) will pay you back...simple."
​
And advice is appreciated! Thank you in advance!
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
ltC4BijCK50tWZWKokbeuxSdsCzgWRtj | ahdvju | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend she doesnt get to tell me what to do",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend she doesnt get to tell me what to do? | Recently I bought a new computer desk for myself. I also have plans to move in with my girlfriend in about 5 months. This morning however she texted me saying "Don't buy anymore furniture until we move in together" I had no plans to buy anymore furniture and this is the first time I've bought new furniture since she and I have been together so its not like I buy a lot of furniture.
I told her that she doesn't get to dictate what I buy and she just said "well I don't want it to go to waste when we move in together" as if she gets the final say on what gets moved in and why doesn't and then when I pressed further saying that she doesn't get to decide everything about our furniture situation when we live together either she flipped everything saying that "she didn't know I was going to take it so seriously" and that it was "just a joke" but I don't understand where the joke was there and she couldn't explain what the joke was either when I asked her.
I just want to check here to see if what I'm saying seems off base or if its reasonable because I can't tell. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
ZLfIMdarsy1LTktExwZtlt2p1jRIP1vL | b4ir34 | null | AITA If a girl asks me to be in a relationship and I don't respond. | So for context one day I get a friend request on Facebook, I am bad remembering names so this one girl sends me a request on Facebook. I check that she is friends with some people I know at the place I do my piano practice so I accept.
She starts talking to me on messenger and I ask what class she is taking at the music place. I find out she actually isn't part and instead friended me after she asked her friends there for my account. So I never met this girl and I do some background checking on her.
Btw for some more context I am an atheist this is important I swear and this took place while I was in my 1st year of highschool. So I check her Facebook and she is mega religious will like 90% of her posts relating to Jesus or god. So I know we wouldn't make a great match (she also made a passive aggressive post about atheists) so I know I am not her type.
After some talking she asks me if I want to be her boyfriend and by the time this happens we only knew each other for a week and never met in person. I also knew we were never compatable since I didn't know much about her besides her mega religous nature. So instead of telling her no my social anxiety ridden ass left her on read. Was this a dick move or am I looking too deep into this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
AmpnhC6Ajiaw4Pyk9eWHUSww4sGSFf9C | b0xl6m | {
"description": "not wanting to date my Special Ed classmate, then telling him off for asking me out",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for not wanting to date my Special Ed classmate, then telling him off for asking me out? | First post, and on mobile, so sorry about that! Also this story is long, but I'll try to keep it short.
To sum up the 'special Ed" part, this guy's been in special education class for most of his life and was put into normal classes only recently. He has trouble controlling his anger and doesn't always understand the flow of conversation, meaning that he sometimes cut people off, regardless of whether they were talking to him or not. He also says things that are very private or embarrassing to others and thinks it's funny. I find it annoying, but I know he can't control it.
I had a boyfriend at the time, and I told him so. Despite this, he proceeded to ask me out. I played it off as a joke and rejected him as softly as possible. He didn't take it very well and was pissed. I tried not to think much of it for the rest of the day.
I later broke up with my boyfriend for reasons that could probably be given its own post. As soon as this guy hears about it (same day) he asks me to homecoming. I tell him no, this time explaining that I just wasn't ready for a relationship and that I didn't want one. Didn't take that well either and started to cry. One of the staff had to take him because he wouldn't get up when the bell rang.
About 2 weeks later he asked me out a third time, and I was so done with it. I exploded on him, telling him to stop asking me and that I would never date him. It was so mean and harsh, I know, and I feel bad looking back on it. He was furious and left.
He still tries to talk to me and once started to ask, but I stopped him and left.
Was I too harsh? Should I have given him a chance?
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
kV1S2EjE5qJgCHB1F3Hhbsv7pbLGexjE | abwfzl | {
"description": "not going into work because I couldn't reach anyone in scheduling",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going into work because I couldn’t reach anyone in scheduling? | AITA for not going into work today?
So, I just started a new job at a store a couple of weeks ago. They post a schedule outside of the office weekly and it runs from Thursdays to Wednesdays.
Well, I worked yesterday and took a picture of the schedule really quick on the way out to check later and see what time I worked today, but a quick glance showed the schedule was reprinted and that my shift would be moved to Friday, which is tomorrow. Cool.
When I got home and took a closer look at the picture they had the wrong name written down. Since I’m new, the other schedules had a default “PNA” marked out with my name written on, which is Amy. I notice that the name says “Ashley”. They’ve been pretty bad at training and they’re a bit dismissive, so I assumed the scheduling guy literally just got my name wrong, otherwise I just wouldn’t be on the schedule. But maybe there’s another new worker named Ashley and they forgot me on the newer print, or I don’t have any shifts, and he just didn’t put me in to make room for her?
So, when I noticed, I called and asked to be connected to “T”, the scheduling guy. The cashier who answered said he wasn’t in. I asked how to contact them and they said they’d tell a manager to call me when he was in. Well, this morning I called again and got the same response. So, at ten today I literally went in and asked where T was and they said he still wasn’t in. I went to a different coworker and asked who else there was to go to for scheduling, and she said it was just T and there was no other way to contact him.
I won’t go into it but the environment among employees is vicious, they have complex sales and computer software with inadequate training, and they’ve scheduled me for double-shifts despite company policy for part-time workers, which I didn’t sign up for. This all adds to me not really caring as much anyway about management being pissed off and considering firing me, and I’m applying for some other jobs in case they call and fire me. They haven’t called and it’s been almost three hours since the shift started, whosever it was.
But with all that aside and through objective eyes... I want to know if IATA.
Tl;dr: AITA for just not going to work today? My name isn’t on the schedule and I can’t reach the person who oversees scheduling. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ImncRvt29CELggtkVJLoAFINCfqUJaKM | ats785 | {
"description": "killing my friends roommate tarantula",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for killing my friends roommate tarantula? | Okay, so I went over to my friends house to help him build some small planting boxes. It was fast and so we had a few beers and rolled a few nice joints. We were just chilling with his roommate smoking watching a baking show (yes, really) and for some reason they had bugs in the cake. Anyway, my friends roommate mentions in passing that he has two tarantulas and if I'd like to see them.
NOPE. Fuck that. He laughs and is like okay whatever. A few minutes later, I'm rolling another one when I feel something brushing my neck, I have semi long hair so I did my regular brush off motion when I felt the big ass spider. I fucking flipped out. Grabbed it and tossed hard. The poor thing bounced of the cable top box and behind the TV stand. We spent 20 minutes trying to get it out, ended up having to move the stand and found it crawled up in a little ball amongst the mess of cables. Needless to say the roommate is very upset and thinks I way overreacted. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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